Boyfriend is angry I got my nipples pierced by another male

Little of both.

>>17550955
Nah you're a selfish bitch

>>17550955
You are a bitch,honestly he is right. You should find a woman to do it. Also,why did you want this piercing? Only a bitch would like to have,in order to show it to men. Was his desire to have this piercing?

Your bf is an insecure cunt and you should get with a real man.

>>17550955
sounds like a little boy.
and five years and that's the first time he's behaving like that? hard to believe.

That's a ridiculous overreaction. The guy's a professional who pierces nips all damn day. Would your bf get pissed if you went to a male gynecologist?

If it were me, I'd seriously reassess the relationship

>>17550955
you now friends with the guy that did the piercing? Seriously, you guys chat and have plans to hang out?

Is this a long distance "relationship" where you have never met each other? Are you both 16?

>>17550969
This. If he didn't want it and he's the only person who would usually see it then yeah, he's gonna be pissed off a guy did it.

>>17550969
>Was his desire to have this piercing?
why should his desire matter?

>>17550974
He should have problem if she went to a man gynecologist. Imagine you are male and you want to be a doctor. Why would you choose to be a gynecologist? Because you want to see pussies and boobs! Ok you are doing it then every day for years,but! You will always like the good pussies

>>17550984
Just asking if he wanted that piercing and she did it for him,or if she wanted that to show it!

>>17550985
You are lost from either /r9k/ or /highschool/.

>>17550985
you think they only see young healthy snatches?

fuck, with all the shit like cervical infections oozing all kinds of puss out, hurl.

can't believe any hetero guy can do that without losing his libido.
same with female urologists.

You willfully overstepped the boudries your bf clearly stated.
You knew it bothered him.

You disrespected him

You deserved to be 1 dumped or 2 used as a slut.

Tip girls: respect your man, theyy will respect you (if he is decent)

>>17550987
first line in OP.
she wanted it, and he apparently was OK as long as a woman did it.

>>17550985
>boobs!!

13 y/o detected

>>17550969
That's why I never date a woman who has a male gynecologist! Those cheating whores!

Why do women pierce their tits other then sexuel pleasure to show off to guys? As a guy i cant think of any other reasons

>>17550993
So why a male choose to be a gynecologist ? I'd rather doing something more clean like doctor for eyes or doing sergeries for a lot money

>>17550969
Second this.
Youre a disrespecting bitch.

>>17550955
As they used to say: Post tits or GTFO.

>>17550955
if you wanted to have this done for quite a while you had plenty of time to find a place where a woman did the piercing. I bet you had the place already picked out and the guy that would do the work so you didn't look very hard. I just did a quick google search and plenty of places had at least one female on staff.

>>17550974
a fucking tattoo parlor isn't a doctors office

you're both at fault
you didn't respect what he wanted
he needs to stop being a controlling dick twitch

>>17551012
why does the sex of the Person doing the piercing matter?
it's not like it was on of her ex-bfs or something.

the dude is a little insecure bitch, as demonstrated with the remark afterwards.

>>17551005
it is why they do it and they will show the piercing, always do

>>17551025
That's exactly what i think too and have observed friends do just that

He is a little controling yes. But you agreed, didn't really follow through, and are therefore also in the wrong. If him asking you to find a women to do it was unreasonable to you or you had found a place you wanted to use, you should have said so when he asked.

>>17551005
A number of reasons. They could like the look of it themselves (as in, they're only showing off to a mirror), or could get them for bdsm purposes, etc. Plenty of complete virgins buy lacy lingerie just because they like the way they look in it. I understand this probably doesn't make sense to most dudes but fuckin men are from mars women are from venus

>>17551007
There's plenty of money in gyno. You help people out and get to deliver babies. And it's no more "unclean" than being any other type of doctor, Muhammad.

>>17551018
it's still a business with licensed professionals

>>17551022
if OP went to a random place perhaps but I bet she knew the guy and it was her plan to have him do it all along. She went through the motions saying she called around for a female but didn't try very hard and knew her bf was uncomfortable. She lied to her bf, but he hasn't realized it yet

>>17551018
I pierced for years. Nobody gives a shit about you girlfriend's tits. We see that shit every day.

>>17550955
He's not mad that you got it done, he's mad that he spelled out that it would make him uncomfortable and you did it anyway, and he feels like you don't respect his feelings
He's over reacting, but being upset is completely justified
You're both in the wrong

>>17551046
Indeed, I guess a bitch friend of her had already gone there,so she knew that she would go there,but she said lies to him that she will "try" although she knew that he had problem with that.

>>17551039
>it's still a business with licensed professionals
you are kidding me right? complete with a code of ethical conduct and life and death responsibility

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>>17550955
Should have got your brain pierced instead desu

>>17551046
The tinfoil is strong with you.

your BF if insecure. this is a major problem. if you can live with it, then fine, but be prepared to do all sorts of stupid shit to placate his insecurities.

personally, i'd start to look for exit scenarios, but then i don't really like it when people lay the law down to me rather than talking it through and a mutually acceptable compromise being arrived at.

>tl;dr - do as he says if you're little more than furniture, tell him to fuck off and look for other options if not.

>>17551048
This

/thread

>>17550955
you should of pierced your cunt!!

>>17551052
it is exactly what happened and I bet she's been hanging around the place and this guy

>>17550984
>why should his desire matter?
You're two people in a relationship so you should be taking the desires of both people into account. OP basically disregarded her boyfriend's issues. If that's you're attitude then I feel sorry for your partner.

Every man that respects his pants wouldn't be interested if an other man would pierce his gf's titts

>>17551039
>They could like the look of it themselves (as in, they're only showing off to a mirror),
Is that really going to stay that way? Maybe bc im younger crowd (under 30)but everytime a girl does something new like that its to get attention and even if it was attractive to thier partners they still showed off to other men but act like "im-totally-not-showing-off-right-now"

Your comment about virgins in lingerieis surprising desu. Interesting

>op is lying about searching around for a girl piercer

WHY tf would someone seeking advice on an ANONYMOUS message board lie about their issue? They'd just get irrelevant advice.

>>17551053
and health restrictions.
>>17551046
bull
>>17551048
>that it would make him uncomfortable
what's there to be uncomfortable about?
he should be worried about it being done properly, not if the person inserting it has a dick or not

>>17551078
>he should be worried about what I think he should be worried about, not what he's actually worried about
Retarded.

>>17551077
Perhaps she is afraid if he finds out this thread

>>17551060
Guy here
>start looking for exit scenarious
What does this honestly mean? It sounds like string the guy along while going shopping for someone else, if thats true why not just be upfront and end it with the guy right off the bat?

>>17551078
we've all seen the stupid twit girls that hang around the tattoo parlor with the "artist". OP was one

It shows you don't actually care who sees your tits. Normally it's the guy overreacting. This time you're in the wrong pal. Good luck putting toothpaste back in the tube so to speak.

>>17551060
Stupid bullshit about insecurity.

Real man want a solid relationship.
A girl that is there 100% for him and he for her. No attention seeking or validation seeking somewhere else.

He knows that for him a relationship means that some things are special between them only.
Going beyond this means not sharing the same values and therefor you don't match.

Its about diffrent values and expectations, not insecurity.

Is this your breast in the photo?

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>>17550955

>Basically, am I just a bitch or did he over react?

He's an overreactive little bitch.

That's like getting pissed if a male doctor sees your vagina. He's sexualizing a situation that didn't need to be sexualized and he's behaving like a petulant little child.

You need to find yourself a man who behaves like an adult.

>>17551099
>>17551099

>t: insecure guy who wants a robot pussy who has never even looked at another man because he dreads the notion that she would have any frame of reference to compare him with

>>17551078
>what's there to be uncomfortable about?

It doesn't matter.
He can't control what does or doesn't make him feel insecure. Emotions aren't logical and whether or not his feelings make logical sense, it's unhealthy to dismiss them
If the person you love says "I'm not comfortable with another guy touching your tits, whether he's a professional or not", refusing to take his feelings into account is a shitty thing to do

>>17551077
OP came here to justify what she did so she can cram it down her bf's throat. She knew when she did it he wouldn't like it and she did it anyway

>>17551104
Fucking cuck

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>bf clearly outlines what he's comfortable with you doing and not doing
>do what he says he isn't comfortable with anyway
you couldn't have found a single tattoo parlor with a girl working there? not a one? hard to believe.
the gyno comparisons ITT don't hold any water, one is a necessary check up to ensue vaginal health, the other is an completely elective procedure done entirely for sexual purposes.
you are a bitch.

>>17550955
dump him and avoid further contact- red flags, red flags everywhere

>Basically, am I just a bitch or did he over react?
both. you're dumb as shit and he's mad over nothing.

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>>17551103
>That's like getting pissed if a male doctor sees your vagina.
my memory is a little foggy, what's the procedure that requires you to get your nipples pierced again?

>>17551048
This is the best reply in the thread. Sums up the situation quite well.

>>17551111
Exactly. How does this bitch even justify what she did.

Even if he is uncomfortable with her wearing freaking red clothes.
If she still does it, it means you don't take each others feelings in account.

Its not even about how stupid piercing is or piercing nipples even more so, its about not caring for how your bf feels.

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will /adv/ ever not fall for this?

He asked you not to and you agreed then explicitly went against his wishes, he has a right to be mad at you.

Almost any time I tried to bring the subject up prior to me recieving the piercings, my boyfriend ignored my messages talking about getting it done. I told him I couldn't find a girl, he ignored it. My main reason for wanting it was that I really like the way they look. I find them attractive, but have no plans to show them off to people. As I've never just randomly flashed people in the past, why would I now. Also, I had read that they make your nipples more senstive and I really enjoy nipple stuff during sex, so I thought it could make things even more enjoyable for me.

I called places in my city and in neighboring cities and each one had woman as tattoo artists, but non did piercings. I had never met the person that did the piercings on me before. Not have I seen him since then, either.

My boyfriend seems to be insecure and it had caused issues in the past. But I have never cheated on him before, never will.

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>>17551099

>Real man want a solid relationship.

A real man wouldn't behave like this. This has nothing to do with values and everything to do with the fact that OP is comfortable with her body and her boyfriend is SO insecure that another man viewing his girlfriend's nipples for 5 minutes to run a needle through it in the context of performing a professional task is a threat to him.

Being insecure is not a "value", its a personality flaw. It has nothing to do with whats "special" between the both of them and everything to do with OP's boyfriend's feelings of inadequacy and a constant need to police her girlfriend's body in fear of him being upstaged by another man.

Its just childish.

FYI I was a professional piercer for 5 years. Piercing nipples was just par for the course and even if the woman was really attractive my job and reputation depend on my ability to perform my job well and be professional. A lot of times girls boyfriends would be there with him. There was absolutely nothing sexual about being In a sterile room wearing latex gloves under bright lights with a needle in my hand.

Honestly, after the first few times the nudity thing loses its allure and it all starts to blend together. Not to mention the fact that not every woman that came in wanting to get an unmentionable pierced was very pleasant. You do your job and move on. Any piercer who behaved inappropriately with a client would not only lose his license but be completely blacklisted by the community.

There is literally nothing to be threatened by.

>>17551110

good comeback bro.

Also, not my breasts in the photo.

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>>17551132
>never will
a bit late for that

>>17551107

>She knew when she did it he wouldn't like it and she did it anyway

Yeah, and good for her. When your partner is being a controlling asshole you're not obligated to follow their wishes simply for the sake of their irrational insecurity.

Doing something your partner doesn't like isn't an immediate scarlett letter of wrong doing and believing that the woman's role in the relationship is to strictly adhere to her boyfriend's wishes, no matter how controlling or ridiculous, is fucking medieval and dumb.

>>17551132
You shouldn't have gotten the piercings then.

friggin shariah-muhammads need to leave.

OP needs to do some talking with the bf.

>>17551139
>let me just betray my boyfriend's trust with something that he was vocally against me doing
omg yaaas u go grrrl #smashthepatriarchy

>>17551122

You lift up your shirt, the piercer sterilizes the area. The piercer marks the entry and exit point with a sterile ink.

The needle is lined up, run through, the piercer threads the jewelry through and caps it off. The piercer then cleans up any blood if present and sterilizes the area one more time with a clean wipe. It takes all of about 5 minutes.

Between the blood, the bright lights, the pain and the discomfort of lying down with a needle in your tit there is not much room for sex to make it into the equation.

I've performed the procedure a thousand times and its kept strictly professional, just like a male doctor would. Just because human anatomy is involved does not mean its some sort of sexual betrayal for another man to see your breasts while getting a procedure done. Thats dumb. Super fuckin dumb.

>>17551139
>hey I'd feel uncomfortable if you did this

Isn't controlling, it is no where near

>you better not do this [insert threat or guilting]

Honestly /adv/ acts like making any wishes or requests to your partner is controlling. If my girlfriend says she's uncomfortable with me doing something, I don't do it because I respect her. Regardless of how much I may think it's stupid.

OP, he made it known he was uncomfortable with you getting it done by a guy. You still did it anyway. What made those piercings more important to you than your boyfriend's wishes?

>>17551139
her boyfriend did nothing to stop her and afterwards threw a harmless fit, not really being controlling at all.

>>17551146
he wasn't against it, just against it being done by another man, for whatever reason.
probably sees her as his property or w/e

>>17551150
>the blood, the bright lights, the pain and the discomfort of lying down with a needle in your tit
sounds pretty sexy desu

>>17551146

I understand that you're trolling right now but I know deep down that even you know that no one is justified in making demands on another person's body; especially when the reason is rooted in insecurity and feelings of inadequacy.

Thats like forbidding my girlfriend to lose weight because I'm fat so I want her to be fat too just to keep my ego intact. She wants to get something relatively innocuous and temporary done to her body that makes her feel good about herself so its kind of a bitch move to "forbid" her to do it just because he has the ego and emotional fortitude of a 12 year old.

In no way is it a betrayal of trust. Not even a little bit. She tried talking to him several times about it and threw a hissy fit and ignored her like a baby.

>>17551150
you don't understand my point to why it isn't comparable to a male doctor. you are >required to go to the doctor to make sure you're healthy. you are not >required to get your nipples pierced. but OP did it anyway under a condition that her boyfriend wasn't okay with and that makes her a shitty person. it's not even like his conditions were unreasonable or anything. he never said she couldn't do it, just that he would like to have it done this way so he could feel comfortable with it.

>>17551154
>probably sees her as his property or w/e
(you)

>>17551159
>no right to another person's body

Say that all you want but you'd probably have an issue if your partner came home with their eyes tattooed or piercings over their entire body

>>17551134
I think the issue is she didnt it without saying that. If op just told him that it cant be found but she wants to do it for their future sexual parts of their relationship then the bf woulld of just went along with her but instead she thinks its good to do things without coomunicating. Obviously we dont have a lot of information so we cant make too many educated guesses.

>>17550955
>>17551132
How old are you?

>>17551134
Being a cuck is mature.
Having the value not to "confidently" display your body to anyone other then your spouse exist.

Its not about policing either, you feminist victim role lover.

Lets not debate on if its right or wrong to show body only to your spouse.
But if someone chooses this, and the other does not respect it. It is incompatible

>>17551152

>Isn't controlling, it is no where near

You're projecting. Nowhere in the thread did OP maintain that her boyfriend calmly and rationally explained his position of discomfort with her getting this done.

In fact, he did rather the opposite. You're filling in gaps of the story with your own narrative so it doesn't oppose your preconceived position.

>If my girlfriend says she's uncomfortable with me doing something, I don't do it because I respect her. Regardless of how much I may think it's stupid.

I know you're young but at some point you'll learn the different between being respectful and being subservient.

>>17551153

>her boyfriend did nothing to stop her and afterwards threw a harmless fit, not really being controlling at all.

Harmless fit, huh? That's a really neat way to word acting like a baby.

To be completely clear, giving the cold shoulder and responding to conflict with anger, snide remarks and then neglect is a form of manipulation and control.

If you can't see that you're either being willfully dumb or just dumb.

>>17551157

>sounds pretty sexy desu

I know, dude. I'm not going to say that clients haven't come on to me but I've done thousands of piercings and can count the times on one hand that anything sexual came of it. Even when it did it was outside of the shop on my own time.

All I'm saying is that there's nothing to be defensive about.

For me, I'd just want to make sure my girl went to see the best piercer she could so they didn't fuck up her nipples.

>>17551159
>demands
a request is not a demand just because it's unreasonable.
>Thats like forbidding my girlfriend to lose weight because I'm fat so I want her to be fat too just to keep my ego intact.
stupid but well within your rights
>She tried talking to him several times about it and threw a hissy fit and ignored her like a baby.
nobody owes you unconditional support

>>17551180
Now youre doing the same thing op never stated if the bf said why

>>17551180
>To be completely clear, giving the cold shoulder and responding to conflict with anger, snide remarks and then neglect is a form of manipulation and control.
explicitly stating your preferences and complaining when they're not followed is not manipulation because it's literal and direct and it's not controlling because it's just complaining.

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I wouldn't date you but I've played that attention whore game already.


There is really no advice to offer here tbhonest.

Do whatever you want OP.

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it's HER body, sure. but it's THEIR relationship. OP doing this was a knowing and deliberate breech of trust that is just completely inappropriate in a 5 year relationship.

>>17551152

Well you're an idiot.

If your girlfriend wants you to do things or refrain from doing things for stupid reasons then you need a new girlfriend. You fuckin people wonder why the divorce rate is so high when you idiots can't even recognize when someone is incompatible

If my girl doesn't want me doing something for dumb reasons then she better be willing to suck my dick dry until I forget about her stupidity

>>17551171

>you'd probably have an issue if your partner came home with their eyes tattooed or piercings over their entire body

Which isn't the same thing as having two small metal bars through your nipples. Slippery slope aint gonna work here, bruh.


>>17551160

>OP did it anyway under a condition that her boyfriend wasn't okay with and that makes her a shitty person

Disobeying your shitty boyfriend doesn't make you a bad person. Sorry. If anything it makes her dumb for dating such a tool. I hardly see how anybody is obligated to do anything with their lives just to placate the insecurities of some dildo who sees his girlfriend as private property.

>>17551174

>Having the value not to "confidently" display your body to anyone other then your spouse exist.

I don't see what that has to do with value. I don't value people based on how few people have seem them nude. That doesn't even make sense.

I'm not sure what backwater revival church you were raised in but I'm honestly confused how a working professional seeing her tits for 5 minutes at all damages the trust or fabric of the relationship.

All it has seemed to damage in this situation is her boyfriend's shitty ego.

>Its not about policing either, you feminist victim role lover.

Yes it is. It has everything to do with policing, you shit tier apologist. I understand its your knee jerk reaction to side with the man in every situation regardless of how big of a cunt he's being but you're ignoring a lot of aspects of this situation to fit your narrative.

Like I said, the only thing actually damaged in this situation is her boyfriend's shitty ego. She didn't cheat. She didn't behave irresponsibly. At some point she has to decide whats more important; holding onto and preserving her boyfriend's distorted view of "value" or being her own person and not letting the insecurity of her boyfriend control her life.

>>17551138
>some people actually think this

>>17551192

>explicitly stating your preferences and complaining when they're not followed is not manipulation

You're projecting false facts again.

He did not explicitly state his preference. He ignored her whenever she tried to talk about it like a toddler. After she got it done he blew up into a hissy fit and instead of having a thoughtful conversation about it like he should have from the beginning he told her to "fuck off" and proceed to be belligerent for the next few days.

His preference was also not based on objective logic or any sort of reasonable basis, it was completely motivated by his insecurity.

It is absolutely, 100% manipulation.

You're getting stuck in this logistics of what manipulation is and simply stating that she's in the wrong for not "following his preferences" and ignoring the fact that his preferences are fucking stupid and immature.

I'd really like to know why he was against it being done by a man.
The end result is the same either way.
Kinda weird.

>>17551001
You don't magically stop being attracted to breasts after puberty. Where did this numale meme even come from?

>>17551213
>I'd really like to know why he was against it being done by a man.
If you can't figure this out yourself then no amount of explaining will help.

>>17551152
This.
Adv seems afraid to be a man telling what youre uncomfortable with.
I bet mist of you are teens who just let bitches walk over you because you want to act tough.

>>17551160
You are not required to go to a gyno, it's just a good idea.

You are also not required to go to a male gyno, you can shop around for doctors. Kind of like what OP was doing with piercers.

You fail very hard at trying to tear apart the comparison.

>>17551222
doesn't matter what I think, what matters in this story what HE thought.

>>17551211
How long have you been a fag?
Your projecting hard against the bf many times now it has been stated that op didnt say whether not the bf and her spoke prior in depth only that the bf doesnt want a man to do the piercing.
The bf was mad for her doing the thing without communicating"hey its actually like this bc _" but that simple thing was "controlling" supposedly.

Also op sounds like late 20's and that seems questionable to me bc why wouldnt she have done that at an earlier age?

>>17551230
I'm 20. Boyfriend is also 20.

>>17551230
You may want to read the thread a little better.

>>17551229
OP doesn't seem to agree seeing as she got her nipples pierced by a guy anyway, but I'm just saying if you can't innately understand his reasoning the explaining probably won't help either. Clearly the thought of it doesn't bother you like it did him, so you won't understand his perspective.

>>17551152
Thread ended right here.

>>17551230
>bc why wouldnt she have done that at an earlier age?

...wat?

>>17551211
>He did not explicitly state his preference.
see
>>17550955
>He said told me to get a girl to do it
it doesn't get more explicit than that
>He ignored her whenever she tried to talk about it like a toddler.
there was nothing to talk about. He could either lie and say he was ok with it or be controlling, I htink ignoring it was his best option.
>After she got it done he blew up into a hissy fit
that's well within his rights
>and instead of having a thoughtful conversation about it like he should have from the beginning
the fuck are you talking about a thoughtful conversation? what would that consist of?
>he told her to "fuck off" and proceed to be belligerent for the next few days.
they're not married, he's not her dad, why can't he tell her to fuck off?
>His preference was also not based on objective logic or any sort of reasonable basis, it was completely motivated by his insecurity.
he didn't do any objective harm to her or make a reasonable attempt to control her behavior in any way. all humans have insecurities.
>It is absolutely, 100% manipulation.
that's just not what the word means
>You're getting stuck in this logistics of what manipulation is
language is important
>simply stating that she's in the wrong for not "following his preferences"
I did no such thing.
>and ignoring the fact that his preferences are fucking stupid and immature.
His preferences are also legitimate and real. If she's going to ignore them knowing what they are I don't see how she has any right to complain about him throwing a fit.

>>17551230

>How long have you been a fag?

How long since you graduated middle school?

>Your projecting hard against the bf many times now it has been stated that op didnt say whether not the bf and her spoke prior in depth

Yes. She did state it. Right here.

>>17551132
>Almost any time I tried to bring the subject up prior to me recieving the piercings, my boyfriend ignored my messages talking about getting it done. I told him I couldn't find a girl, he ignored it.

Learn to read, buddy. She tried to communicate and her boyfriend refused. Refusing to communicate, ignoring your girlfriend when she tries to talk to you and then becoming enraged after the fact, stating "you should of known better" is juvenile, manipulative, and ridiculous.

Either you're being willfully stupid or you're just actually stupid. The most important part about debating someone is reading the entire topic and knowing what the fuck you're talking about before spilling your collective spaghetti.

How about you go through, read a little better, then come back and try this again.

>>17550955
The real question is why get your nipples pierced? It's degenerate as fuck.

T. Boss

>>17551180
>anything sexual came of it. Even when it did it was outside of the shop on my own time
but you see there is that possibility

It's nice that you made the attempt to get it done by a girl. That being said, I am a tattoo enthusiast, and that's not really the way that scheduling that shit works. However, they are professionals, they're not going to sit there and play with your tits. They see dozens of them a day.

Adding to this, I'm an EMT and a fair amount of my job involves me accessing someone's breasts. If you're a trauma patient, your shirt is coming off, male or female. I understand that piercing your nipples is different than an actual medical emergency, but I'm drawing the comparison to the fact that anyone who comes into contact with bare breasts in a professional setting is, I assure you, completely indifferent to the situation. Yeah, it's kinda fun for the first few months, and then it's nothing. I mean, we're specifically trained on how to handle breasts in a professional, polite manner.

He should lighten up.

>>17551263
>Refusing to communicate, ignoring your girlfriend when she tries to talk to you and then becoming enraged after the fact, stating "you should of known better" is juvenile, manipulative, and ridiculous.
he said what he did not want to happen and she heard him. His communication was 100% complete and perfect and she absolutely should have known better than to think he wouldn't care.

>>17551259

>He could either lie and say he was ok with it or be controlling, I htink ignoring it was his best option.

Thats the stupidest shit I've ever heard.

>that's well within his rights

Yeah, if you're a baby its well within your rights to throw a hissy fit. Not if you're an adult.

>the fuck are you talking about a thoughtful conversation? what would that consist of?

Maybe not ignoring your girlfriend? Thats a good start.

>I did no such thing.

You did that exact thing. Right here.
>>17551192
>explicitly stating your preferences and complaining when they're not followed

>he didn't do any objective harm to her or make a reasonable attempt to control her behavior in any way.

Yes he did. Throwing hissy fits when you don't get your way and refusing to behave like an adult in the face of conflict is a form of manipulation.

>they're not married, he's not her dad, why can't he tell her to fuck off?

He's well within his rights to do so, again, if you're 12. If you want your partner to respect you and treat you with dignity you can't behave like you're 12. End of story.

>that's just not what the word means

try dictionary.com

>>17551276
you have a super high opinion of piercers that is based upon no actual knowledge.

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>>17551269

>but you see there is that possibility

Yeah, there's a possibility of me fucking the lady that stocks the milk at Safeway but the possibility of a situation turning sexual hardly seems like a reason not to do something.

The same thing could happen at a gynos office but not getting checked by a doctor's office ever because of the possibility of sex is retarded.

>>17551277

Your words

>His communication was 100% complete and perfect

OP's words.

>Almost any time I tried to bring the subject up prior to me recieving the piercings, my boyfriend ignored my messages talking about getting it done. I told him I couldn't find a girl, he ignored it

In what world can ignoring someone be considered 100% complete communication?

Are you reading the thread at all?

>>17550955
This:
>>17551211
>>17551180

When I was a much younger and stupider man, I leaned into acting like this as a crutch to get my woman to do what I wanted, when I wanted, even when I wasn't 100% sure that's what I was doing. As you grow older you'll begin to realize that the whole way he treated the situation was childish. Almost all of the responses in this thread sound like young men who still have no idea how a solid relationship actually works.

A ton of people have said "Why did you disrespect his wishes. Why was what you did more important than his wishes. Why do you need nipple rings, to show off?" Why the fuck is no one asking "Why are his demands more important than what you want? Why is he disrespecting and ignoring your decisions. Why didn't he help you find alternatives if he felt so strongly."

I'm a very cynical and jaded person, but that has helped me over the last few years recognize what a relationship is really about. Eventually some of the younger people in this thread will figure out what compromise is actually about, and plenty of them never will.

tl;dr yes, acting like a child, ignoring things, passive aggressive attitudes, demeaning, demanding, are all forms of social interaction that can lead to or even outright be mental abuse and control, whether people recognize it or not. Left unchecked they will almost always escalate. You don't have to bitch out your guy, you also don't have to take his shit and run with it. Talk it through, talk it out. If you're the bigger person, this time, don't let that be the end all until you really think about if you were the bigger person last time, or the time before, etc. etc. If it's reoccurring that this is how things go, then maybe it's time to quit. If not, it's a spat and him knowing you're not bending over to either extreme means things can probably move forward.

>>17551276
I think you and other anon's may miss one point however. You may become immune to seeing and handling breast but for OP this is the first time a guy not her bf has handled her breast. First time and even you said it took a while before it became routine.

>>17551276
>He should lighten up.
Telling someone to stop feeling the way the do isn't reasonable. OP's boyfriend was simply uncomfortable with a man piercing her and she disregarded that completely. That's not reasonable either.

>>17551244
>>17551263
My bad iread too fast i thought was after the fact.

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>>17551282
Lol fucking kill yourself freak

Anyone who mutilates their own body intentionally isn't fit for reproduction

>b-b-but its cool and an expression of muh individuality

So unique you fags get the same piercings and tattoos of basic shit like anchors and corporate symbols

I will throw away the resume of anyone who tries to apply for a job with a tattoo

>>17551282

>you have a super high opinion of piercers that is based upon no actual knowledge.

I'm an actual piercer with 8 years of experience. His analysis is pretty correct. No piercing shop I've ever been to across the country can stay open long with unprofessional piercers who try to molest their clients.

You get your licensed yanked for that shit and every business I've been to takes that shit seriously.

In a lot of the minds here of these guys they're so young that to them, seeing breasts in any context is immediately a sexual situation and they have neither the age nor experience to know the difference. They have no clue what it means to be professional, even around nudity.

>>17551287
>In what world can ignoring someone be considered 100% complete communication?
He made his preference 100% clear and OP told him she was going to get it done by a man anyway. What's he supposed to do when she's already made up her mind?

>>17551282
>that is based upon no actual knowledge
You mean other than having tattoos, knowing people who draw tattoos for a living, having looked into tattoos for a career choice, etc etc etc?

Yeah there are tattoo artists that are pieces of shit, I'm sure. But I'm stating the fact that if you see bare breasts in a professional setting almost every day, you aren't gonna go home and jerk off about it. It's not particularly stimulating after a pretty short grace period.

You know how, like, you probably don't jerk off exclusively to still images of -almost- naked women like you did as a kid, yeah?

>>17551278
>Throwing hissy fits when you don't get your way and refusing to behave like an adult in the face of conflict is a form of manipulation.
it's really not manipulation at all.
>>they're not married, he's not her dad, why can't he tell her to fuck off?
>He's well within his rights to do so, again, if you're 12. If you want your partner to respect you and treat you with dignity you can't behave like you're 12. End of story.
He has every right to do what he's doing and OP has no right to be surprised. She did not respect him or treat him with dignity at any point, I don't think there's any reason to pretend like it's an option now
>dictionary.com
I'm right and you're wrong, sorry.
Nobody is asking you to suck OP's boyfriend's dick, you don't have to like the dude to admit he didn't do anything wrong and is simply a stupid baby.

>>17551302
it may be routine for you at this point but for the girl it may be her first time and may not be clinical for a man to handle her breast

>>17551304
Help her look for a place that has a woman piercing specialist. LOL I'M SO HELPLESS I'M JUST A GUY!

>>17551301

>I will throw away the resume of anyone who tries to apply for a job with a tattoo

>Anyone who mutilates their own body intentionally isn't fit for reproduction

Yeah. I'm sure your lack of tattoos and piercings makes you the adonis of the gene pool. I'm not saying that everyone with tattoos and piercings are great people I'm just saying you should hop off that edge you're riding so hard and stop watching movies because its just not reality.

Maybe to you having a tattoo or a piercing is this magnanimous life event but believe it or not, to some people, tattoos and piercings don't define you.

Maybe, if you can process it through the thick layer of autism surrounding your brain, people just get a piercing or tattoo cause they think it looks cool and its not any deeper than that.

>>17551301
I have a hard time believing you're in, or ever will be in, a position to hire people.

>>17551304

>He made his preference 100% clear and OP told him she was going to get it done by a man anyway

Again. In what world is ignoring someone considered 100% clear communication? I'm very confused about that.

>>17551313

>t's really not manipulation at all.

Yes it is.

> She did not respect him or treat him with dignity at any point,

Its kind of hard to treat a man who behaves like a child with respect or dignity. Maybe if he didn't act like he was 12 he'd get a better response from people.

>I'm right and you're wrong, sorry.

Its ok. Just don't let it happen again.

>>17551315

>it may be routine for you at this point but for the girl it may be her first time and may not be clinical for a man to handle her breast

We're also trained on that too. Its called bedside manner. Every woman has to get a pap smear for the first time. Not all women are used to another man seeing their breasts.

I've pierced 40-50 year old women who've never been naked around a man other than her husband before and thats the importance of behaving like a professional and making the experience as painless and innocuous as possible.

Putting people at ease is a huge part of our job. Anybody who isn't able to do that isn't very good at their job. Its the same when we have to pierce kids.

They might cry afterwards and act crazy but, again, a part of our job is to handle that and behave professionally; lighten the mood, make it fun, quick and not as scary or painful as people think its going to be when they walk in.

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>>17551323
I have a hard time imagining you aren't a bald loser with some failed marriages and alcoholism under his belt

Not

>>17551317
Even if it doesn't define you its still a waste of money and indicative of a lower capacity for critical thought

>>17551329
Communication isn't empty chatter, it's about getting ideas across. OP's boyfriend was completely clear about his thoughts and she was completely clear about her intentions. Where else are they supposed to go from there? Sure you can keep talking/arguing but it's unproductive and pointless when both sides have already made up their mind.

>>17551329
>In what world is ignoring someone considered 100% clear communication? I'm very confused about that.
I'm 30 years old and leaving the thread to go grocery shopping. everyone who reads this will know how many years old I am. I've perfectly communicated that I'm 30.

>>17551316
it took all of 30 seconds with a simple google search to find one, she didn't try.

That said, for OP to come here and trash her bf and ok with everyone that piled on, saying that he was a horrible excuse for a human, she really doesn't care much for him anyway and I don't understand why she gives a shit what he thinks. She didn't before so why now? Doesn't sound like much of a relationship to me at all.

>>17551296
>First time and even you said it took a while before it became routine.
Literally twice. The first time you practice the physical exam, they pair you up in opposite genders. They're extremely adamant that you get over that shit right away, because you don't have time to be shy when someone's life is in danger. They're also very adamant that if you act like a creep about it, you get thrown the fuck out of class. If you do it while an actual practicing EMT? Nigga you going to jail.

>>17551298
Listen man, when I was 20 that might've bothered me, too. But I'm not 20 anymore, and it most certainly doesn't. Because it's a stupid thing to be upset about.

She didn't disregard it. She tried to get a female piercer, but that's not really how getting a piercing works. They use whoever is available. If you're getting a tattoo done you can request a specific artist, but then you work around THEIR schedule. They don't pull the one female artist from her back piece that some dude is paying literally thousands of dollars for to do a 10 minute nip job that any second month apprentice can take care of, to spare the feelings of some 20 year old who isn't even there. If he has a problem with anyone, he should call the shop. So they can laugh and hang up on him.

I'm imagining if some 20 year old kid called me up to complain that I had removed his girlfriend's shirt after an auto accident. And boy, can I tell you, I'd laugh at him.

>>17551329
I assumed as much however not everyone has a bedside manner but more importantly, OP got the prep with an explanation of what would happen and her bf has no clue. Fertile ground for imagining the worst.

>>17551349
>I'm imagining if some 20 year old kid called me up to complain that I had removed his girlfriend's shirt after an auto accident. And boy, can I tell you, I'd laugh at him.
That's a totally false equivalance m8.
>but then you work around THEIR schedule.
Perhaps OP could've worked around their schedule then, and waited until she could get a female to pierce her. She didn't regard her boyfriend's feelings high enough to be patient.

>>17550955
Im a guy and if you really wanted the piercing id be supportive, i wouldnt be the most fond of a guy doing it desu, but someone has to and if the best or cheapest is a guy oh well. Its not like you let him suck on them as payment ffs

>>17551357
I understand you don't have any tattoos or piercings, so I'll elaborate while trying not to sound like a cunt.

They don't have 'piercers', they have tattoo artists. Piercings are the Charley-work they give to their apprentices while they rake in the actual money on return clientele. People who like to get tattoos REALLY like to get tattoos, that's where the business comes from. Not from the $30 nipple rings that some dude's girlfriend wants to buy.

What I'm getting at is they don't schedule that shit. It takes several minutes and a little bit of alcohol solution, that's it. They schedule TATTOOS. They aren't going to waste time, time that a client has likely already purchased weeks in advance, to entertain some young dude's insecurities, regardless of how his girlfriend handles the situation. If she had pushed the issue, and they didn't have a female artist on hand literally doing nothing at the time, they would've just told her to go somewhere else.

I literally passed a tattoo parlor once as a kid, decided "hey fuck it" and left with a piercing on my way to lunch.

>>17551336

>Even if it doesn't define you its still a waste of money and indicative of a lower capacity for critical thought

You're more than welcome to believe that. The funny thing is I've never met anyone with a tattoo or a piercing with a bad thing to say about people who choose not to get it.

It makes me curious why you're so eager to demonize people you don't know over something so innocuous. Whats up, dude? Catch mommy fucking some tattooed bro?

>OP's boyfriend was completely clear about his thoughts

For the third time, how is ignoring someone considered being completely clear about your thoughts? No one has yet to explain to me how refusing to say words can be interpreted in any way, shape or form as 100% clear communication.

You do realize the inherent retardation in what you're trying to say, right?

>>17551355

>I assumed as much however not everyone has a bedside manner

True. I'm not sure what that has to do with anything though.

>Fertile ground for imagining the worst.

If his mind has a tendency to immediately jump to thoughts of his girlfriend getting felt up or cheating on him under the cover of getting a piercing either he's insecure or his girlfriend is untrustworthy.

From the way she explains it she doesn't sound like she was trying to do anything behind his back so the insecure option seems most likely.

>>17551357

>Perhaps OP could've worked around their schedule then, and waited until she could get a female to pierce her

I dunno, her boyfriend working around his insecurity might of been a better option in the long run.

>>17550955
No way your bf is that much of a bitch.

Not at all your fault.

Maybe ask him if he would go get his dick waxed and want it to be done by a male or
female.

Try to sort this shit out.

>>17551373
Oh quick addendum, tattoo apprentices are a real thing. You don't just walk into a place and say "hey can I work here?" You literally need to have already been doing it for years to get hired anywhere. So, there's also exactly ZERO chance that it was that dude's first day or something.

>>17551373
>It takes several minutes and a little bit of alcohol solution, that's it.
>I literally passed a tattoo parlor once as a kid, decided "hey fuck it" and left with a piercing on my way to lunch.
Then it should be perfectly possible for OP to find a female to pierce her if she was willing to be patient.

>>17551240
Oh k nevermind sounds like he is just being young and dumb. If its an isolated incident okay if this reoccurring then call it quits desu he wouldnt get it unless faced with repercussions and that kind thing is one of those things that only learned from after the fact goodluck

>>17551389
What part of "tattoo artists have their time paid for weeks in advance" that isn't getting through?

>>17551393
>tattoo artists have their time paid for weeks in advance
>I literally passed a tattoo parlor once as a kid, decided "hey fuck it" and left with a piercing on my way to lunch.

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>>17551373

>They don't have 'piercers', they have tattoo artists

>Piercings are the Charley-work they give to their apprentices while they rake in the actual money on return clientele.

>What I'm getting at is they don't schedule that shit. It takes several minutes and a little bit of alcohol solution, that's it.

Everything you've said is completely and unequivocally false.

I worked in a piercing parlor for 8 years and was trained by a world renowned piercer who spends his time when he's not in the shop supervising speaking at events all over the world. He owns 3 houses, a summer home and runs 15 of the best piercing shops on the west coast.

He only works by appointment, and although navels and ears and nostril piercings are our bread and butter we ran a very successful shop doing nothing but piercings for nearly a decade.

The shop is still there, I just don't work there anymore.

Piercing is not what you see in the movies. It took me YEARS to perfect my craft and is much more difficult than just poking needles and alcohol solution. You're talking about something you have no knowledge in.

You know how people spend thousands of dollars on jewelry like watches, chains and rings? There are an equal amount of people who spend the same money on handcrafted, implant grade steel or titanium, high quality body jewelry.

There's an international gold company who we spent THOUSANDS of dollars on every month just to purchase solid gold jewelry from and it sold like fucking hot cakes.

I made nearly 90k a year alone just on piercing fees working 5-6 days a week. That doesn't include what I could of made on the road with our pop-up shop (As a business we pulled in an average of 20k a week with our mobile studio. State of the art trailer customized for piercing that we took to conventions.)

Again, you don't know what you're talking about. Piercing has come a long way and the underground community is a lot richer than you think.

>>17551396
Ok, this time I'll elaborate, and I'm going to sound like a cunt on purpose.

TATTOO ARTISTS

DON'T DO

PIERCINGS

Tattoo apprentices do. There are maybe one or two, per shop, ever. And they train in that one place for years. So, if neither of them happen to be female? Then there is nothing that OP, her boyfriend, or all of the kings men could have done to change that. Absolute best case anyone could do, is walk to another parlor (which is literally impossible if you don't live in a populated city like myself) and hope that they have a female apprentice. Keep in mind this is for a 10 minute, $30 'procedure'.

Is that clear enough for you? I got mine done by a female, 100% because of the random chance that one of the apprentices at this place was a female training there. That's just how it works, dude. Unless OP was going to wait in that room for years until they took on a female apprentice, it just wasn't fucking happening.

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>>17551408
>There are an equal amount of people who spend the same money on handcrafted, implant grade steel or titanium, high quality body jewelry

Do you think that OP is one of those people?

I'm talking to someone who literally has no idea how piercings are done. I'm sorry I chose to omit the top fucking percentage of body modifications. I wasn't making a broad statement about the people who do these things, I'm explaining to someone that they don't give the copper nipple ring jobs to the fucking artists.

Be more sensitive dude, jesus christ.

>>17551418
>Absolute best case anyone could do, is walk to another parlor
Very difficult stuff here.

>>17551431
I see you didn't bother finishing that sentence before jumping to the greentext there, bud.

>>17551437
OP specifically stated she called several parlours, so it's not "literally impossible" in her case.

>>17551444
>I called around to different tattoo/piercing parlors
>>>>>>>and couldn't find a place where women did the piercings

You're really not good at this are you

>>17551448
Was OP exhaustive in her search or did she just look at a couple of places and call it a day? We don't know.

>>17551426

>Do you think that OP is one of those people?

We weren't talking about OP. I was merely responding to this >>17551373.

Don't expand my argument to cover territory that wasn't being covered.

My point was that you made several statements that were unequivocally false. That was it.

Has nothing to do with OP and her statements and only do with yours.

>I'm talking to someone who literally has no idea how piercings are done.

You yourself have no idea how piercings are done. How do you hope to educate someone on a topic that you yourself are ignorant of?

>I wasn't making a broad statement about the people who do these things

Let me backtrack a moment;

>They don't have 'piercers', they have tattoo artists.

>Piercings are the Charley-work they give to their apprentices while they rake in the actual money on return clientele

>People who like to get tattoos REALLY like to get tattoos, that's where the business comes from

>It takes several minutes and a little bit of alcohol solution, that's it

These are all broad statements and they are all, for the most part, completely false.

>>17551091
This is literally all women they afraid of being alone so they will keep their current boyfreind until they can updrage.

>>17551456
Here, I want to offer you some perspective. Sure, OP's position isn't mine, but let's use me as an example.

Right now, I live in the largest city in my state. There are...six?... parlors in town, give or take. If they have two apprentices each, that means out of 12 possible people IN THE CITY, I'd have to hope that one of them is female. Which odd are likely that at least one of them is, but the odds are still in the minority compared to the likelihood of getting a male.

Now, it would cost more time to drive from ONE parlor to ANOTHER than the actual piercing takes to complete. If I'm going to all of them, it'll cost more, on top of the actual piercing.

Calling ahead of time, it wouldn't take long to call six places, yeah? Let's say I called three. If the first three closest parlors to me didn't have a female apprentice available on hand, I probably wouldn't double my time and money on this expenditure to entertain what is ultimately a petty insecurity on someone else's part in the first place. I don't think I'd be morally obligated to go that far.

OP fucking tried, and it didn't work out. Sorry, but the thing about being in your 20s is that the world doesn't fucking care anymore how you feel.

>>17551132
Enjoy try to get on an airplanet with those nipple piercings now you dumb bitch

>>17551477
>Calling ahead of time, it wouldn't take long to call six places, yeah? Let's say I called three. If the first three closest parlors to me didn't have a female apprentice available on hand, I probably wouldn't double my time and money on this expenditure to entertain what is ultimately a petty insecurity on someone else's part in the first place. I don't think I'd be morally obligated to go that far.
I love how you make it sound like some enormous effort. If my gf was insecure about me getting my ballsack pierced by a girl or something, I would certainly try my best to find a guy to do it instead. If I couldn't I would probably leave it because a piercing is something that can wait.

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>>17551473
Ok mate. I'll admit that I spoke colloquially to someone who had absolutely zero knowledge on the subject. I want to say that we were, in fact, talking about cheap parlors where the piercings are the Charley-work, and that I didn't cover the vast and intimate world of body modification. That's my fault, and I apologize. I'm sorry you can't appreciate the idea of speaking in a relative manner to the topic on hand, like how I don't start talking about the intimate details of metabolism when discussing a basic diet, because ultimately it doesn't contribute anything to the point I'm trying to convey.

So yes, you're right, there are higher levels of body modification that are handled by people who are at a much higher professional level than anyone that OP would have come in contact with. I hope your technically correct post makes you feel fulfilled.

>>17550955
He's being a whiny, insecure piece of shit desu. It's a fucking nipple. Talk to him about it and if he doesn't see that he's being a dick, rethink your relationship.

>Maybe ask him if he would go get his dick waxed and want it to be done by a male or
female.

Of course, because dicks and nipples are the same thing. Also...how is waxing or getting a piercing in any way sexual or whatever?

>>17551493
so passive agressive

>>17551492
>I would probably leave it because a piercing is something that can wait
Wait for what? You to go back to the same parlor with the same people?

And I said it before, but it's a fucking boob. People who do these things see them every day. EVERY. DAY. They don't fucking care dude, I promise you. I guarantee the only person who cares is OP's boyfriend.

A large part of my job involves feeling breasts to make sure they aren't punctured or some shit. I am really trying to stress to you that when you're not extremely sexually naive, and encountering breasts in your professional life is a common occurrence, then it's nothing more than part of the fucking job, m8.

>>17551505
No, I'm being facetious, not passive aggressive. Don't make broad generalizations about things you don't understand.

>>17551506
>the only person who cares is OP's boyfriend.
Oh gee, the one person other than herself that OP should be considering.

>>17551527
And she did. But the fact of the matter is that it doesn't work that way. Regardless of how OP's boyfriend feels about the situation, that's just not how tattoo parlors work.

Her options were to get it done by a fellow, or to not get it done at all. Sure, she could've chosen to do that. But at the end of the day, the entire issue starts and stops at her boyfriend's insecurities, and those are gonna come up one way or another. Personally, if my partner were that petty and insecure, I would rethink the relationship.

Also for what its worth, whoever did her nip job did three more on hotter girls than OP that day alone.

>>17551534
>But at the end of the day, the entire issue starts and stops at her boyfriend's insecurities, and those are gonna come up one way or another. Personally, if my partner were that petty and insecure, I would rethink the relationship.
And this is where we're going to keep disagreeing, there's no common ground on this point. I don't think a piercing is worth disregarding his insecurity, you do.

>>17551348
That's funny, cause I never remembered saying my boyfriend was a horrible excuse for a human. Again, cuck like you putting words in my mouth.

>>17551542
>I don't think a piercing is worth disregarding his insecurity, you do.
Do I think a piercing is worth hurting his feelings? Do I feel like this event is worth breaking up over. No, I don't actually.

Here's what I do think. I think that this is indicative of a much larger problem. A piercing is a small, inconsequential thing and a stupid thing to fight about. But the very fact that OP's boyfriend can't handle what is by all accounts a reasonably small "affront" just shows that he's not long-term material. He's ignoring her, he's unwilling to comprehend that parlors don't cater to his whims like that, and he's acting like a fucking teenager about the entire situation (mostly because he's a fucking teenager).

If OP didn't make an honest attempt to cater to his preferences, I'd say she's in the wrong. But she did. He didn't get what he wanted, and a confident man would be able to accept that and move on. It's not a big deal, the problem is literally entirely in his head, and would go away if he just said "you know what, oh well".

My girlfriend probably doesn't like that I touch boobs every day, either. But c'est la fucking vie. She trusts that I'm not out there bouncing them around. Trust is what defines a good relationship, not a bending of wills.

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>>17551493

>Ok mate. I'll admit that I spoke colloquially to someone who had absolutely zero knowledge on the subject.

You didn't do that. You made broad assumptions about a topic you have no knowledge on.

>I'm sorry you can't appreciate the idea of speaking in a relative manner to the topic on hand

Again, you weren't doing that. You were making broad, false statements based on information that neither you nor OP had gathered first hand.

>So yes, you're right, there are higher levels of body modification that are handled by people who are at a much higher professional level than anyone that OP would have come in contact with.

Again, making a broad assumption about a field of study you have no knowledge on. Also, inferring that OP went to one of those cheap parlors when in fact she gave no information to support that claim.


>I want to say that we were, in fact, talking about cheap parlors where the piercings are the Charley-work,

No, WE weren't talking about that. You made that inference and started talking about it all on your own.

I can see you're trying to sarcastically soliloquize your way out of talking out of your ass but unfortunately you caught yourself in a bit of a logical trap.

You said some ignorant shit and a person more knowledgable corrected you. Swallow it, accept it, move on.

>>17551214
You don't get to enjoy every "boob" you see when you're a professional doctor with a diploma and an ethic, you will grow insensitive of it and you just work. People who choose to be gynecologist because "boob" don't reach this point.

>>17551542

>I don't think a piercing is worth disregarding his insecurity, you do.

Meaning that anyone, anywhere is obligated to cater to their partner's insecurity simply because the act may be inconsequential?

That's like saying if I had a girlfriend who was ADD and she demanded I count my toothbrush strokes in the mirror with her in the morning.

Why does not wanting to feed into her dysfunction make me selfish? Sure, the act itself is pretty meaningless but why does that in itself mean that I HAVE to do it simply because its a small gesture that will make my girlfriend feel better?

That doesn't negate the fact that her demand is silly and tedious and something that, for the sake of the long run, she needs to get over.

>nipple piercings

this is bait

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>>17551628
Nigger, WE weren't talking about shit. You jumped in to make some technically correct statements about shit that was so specific, it's irrelevant to the actual situation being discussed. If you want a gold fucking star, you'll have to go somewhere else.

If someone who knew nothing about dieting asked me about keto, I would tell them it's a bad way to lose weight. TECHNICALLY it's a very good way to lose weight, though it's unhealthy and dangerous as fuck, and so while technically correct it's still not applicable to the situation at hand. I can't tell if you're autistic or just really looking to pick a petty argument. Either way, you've made your point, and I've already affirmed that highly professional body modification experts do indeed exist, so I'm going to ask you to stop.

This isn't about overreaction, being a bitch or anything.
Its about respect being a huge part of a reIationship. Op cIearIy doesn't respect her boyfriend otherwise she wouId have Iistened to him and met him haIfway. Thats it, there's no ifs, buts etc. She asked him, he toId her he doesn't want another man to do it, and she went and did it anyway.
If I were your boyfriend I wouId drop your ass because a woman shouId respect her man aIways.

>>17551674
Then he should hurry up and do it instead of sulking like a baby

This board has taken a decidedly misogynistic turn in the last few years.

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>>17551674

>>>/r9k/

>>17551653

Jesus christ dude you were wrong. Just relax and accept it. You can keep trying to double down on your argument and expound and redirect all you want but you pulled some stupid shit out of your ass and you got shut down, dude. Sometimes you can pull shit out of your ass and get away with it and this time you didn't.

I'm not so sure why that concept is so difficult for you to swallow. This time you were wrong. Swallow it. Accept it. Move on.

>>17550996
This, pretty much. It's more an issue that you disrespected him than some guy saw your boobs.

>>17551709
What's misogynistic about this thread?

You guys are trying really hard to just disagree with a female point of view.

OP, if you're still here (WHY?!?), your boyfriend is a pussy and you might think about your relationship with him. There is literally nothing sexual about what you had done, and for him to set such an arbitrary rule on a procedure done to your body reeks of insecurity. That you attempted to accommodate him a bit is nice, but you didn't even have to do that. For him to act like you betrayed him, wow..

He's a bitch. I'm a dude. And he's a bitch, bro.

The worst part is now every single time that they go to have sex, her piercings are are literal visual reminder to him that she doesn't respect his wishes or boundaries. The relationship is doomed over something so fucking dumb. Goddamn you, woman.

>>17551714
I mean, I don't know why you're so insistent on telling me I don't know how nipple piercings work, like I haven't been witness to dozens of them. It doesn't take a fucking doctor to push a needle through someone's tit, dude, I don't know why you're so insistent that these upper echelons of body mods are so relevant to what we were talking about.

I have tattoos, I have piercings. I'm comfortable enough with the process of getting tattoos and piercings in some street parlor to instruct someone on the broader details of doing such, whether some anonymous poster on a pakistani music sharing forum agrees with me or not.

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>>17551716

>If I were your boyfriend I wouId drop your ass because a woman shouId respect her man aIways.

>Nah you're a selfish bitch

>You deserved to be 1 dumped or 2 used as a slut.

>Why do women pierce their tits other then sexuel pleasure to show off to guys? As a guy i cant think of any other reasons

>Youre a disrespecting bitch.

>I bet she's been hanging around the place and this guy

>entirely for sexual purposes. you are a bitch.

>Exactly. How does this bitch even justify what she did.

>He asked you not to and you then explicitly went against his wishes

>I wouldn't date you but I've played that attention whore game already.

>Enjoy try to get on an airplanet with those nipple piercings now you dumb bitch

Oh. I dunno.

>>17551716
The surprising amount of people disagreeing with OP merely on principle. Because she's a woman that "disrespected" or "disobeyed" her man. Defending a dude's trivial insecurity about his girlfriend letting another guy see her b00bies. General "red pill" nonsense rhetoric.

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>>17551748
>surprising
I wish

>>17551735
>OMG THE HORROR

You're defending a sissyboy. Only a fucking fag would get so bent out of shape over something so trivial

>>17551747
yeah, it's part of the big contrarian shift in how people identify here. more conservatives, more alt-righters, more christians -- simply because it's now the edgy, anti-mainstream way to be. you see it crossing into boards like /adv/ or /his/ or /lit/, which is pretty depressing, but it's the cycle, i suppose

>>17551755
I'm telling you, this incel rage shit has only recently funneled into this board. It wasn't like that a few years ago

>>17551766
I can't even enjoy /tg/ threads since Promethean 2e came out.

They used non-standard pronouns or something and that's all people want to talk about.

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>>17551739

>I mean, I don't know why you're so insistent on telling me I don't know how nipple piercings work

Cause you don't.


>>17551739

>It doesn't take a fucking doctor to push a needle through someone's tit, dude

Do you know the anatomy of the male nipple versus the female nipple? What kind of jewelry needs to be used on nipples? How many millimeters must be added onto jewelry length to allow for swelling?

Do you know the difference between implant grade steel and stainless steel? What about titanium? Do you know the importance of proper placement? Do you know what "piercing migration" is? Do you know what can go wrong if you pierce the areola too deep? Do you know how subcutaneous scar tissue can affect a piercing after it is removed? What range of needle sizes can be used on nipples?

My point is you continue to say shit you have no knowledge of. Stop making incorrect assumptions and I'll stop correcting you. Easy.

>I don't know why you're so insistent that these upper echelons of body mods are so relevant to what we were talking about.

I don't. You made some broad, incorrect statements and I corrected you. Thats it. You were wrong.

Swallow it.

Accept it.

Move on.

>>17551226
>going to the doctor to get your genitals checked up on isn't required
you're a fucking retard

>>17550955
You're a bitch. You're in a relationship and you let another guy not only see your tits but feel them. Fuck that. That's some serious betrayal right there.

>>17550955
FAJE

>>17551792
>Do you know the difference between implant grade steel and stainless steel? What about titanium? Do you know the importance of proper placement? Do you know what "piercing migration" is? Do you know what can go wrong if you pierce the areola too deep? Do you know how subcutaneous scar tissue can affect a piercing after it is removed? What range of needle sizes can be used on nipples?

And how much of that, exactly, do I need to know to walk into a parlor and get my nipple pierced? What part of any of that actually has to do with OP?

I'm not claiming I do this shit, m8. I'm an EMT. If you want I can start jacking off about all the different types of shock there is if you're just looking for a technical knowledge pissing contest, but I'm not. What I'm saying, and what I've been saying the entire time, is that they don't pull tattoo artists away from frequent clientele to punch some 20 year old's tits. They have the apprentices for that. No female apprentices means that you're unlikely to get what you want, unless there happens to be a female artist around who has a free minute.

If you have 8 years in the industry like you haven't stopped talking about, you know this, and I cannot for the life of me figure out why you're pretending like it's not the case.

>>17551776
yeah, I wanted to talk about the Battlefield 1 beta, so I go to /v/ and it's all shitposting about race and agendas and shit. I don't fucking care, it's a video game, i just want to bitch about people not playing medic correctly, fuck.

Hes overreacting. On the other hand you went to a dude although he said he doesn't want that. So its a bit overreaction but also a bit actual betrayal. As others anon said, youre a bit of both.

Dont know how you can solve this now though

>>17551846
Nice name, bro

>>17551829

You really don't like being wrong, do you.

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>>17551870
I said you were right in my first response to you, but I remain unconvinced that you're not a cunt.

Whatever man, you're right. You the best. Don't feel compelled to reply to this insincere reaction image.

>>17551644
I actually had an ex do this same exact thing, except she did get it by a girl

but basically this happened

>>17551735

She lied and did other BPD girl shit anyway so I don't care anymore; lesson learned

>>17551204
You're the best person in this thread, my dude.

>>17551899
seconded for solidarity

>>17551899
>its an OP agrees with some 30 year old faggot about breaking up a relationship over nipple piercings

wew lad

>>17551908
upvoted my fellow redditor!

>>17551917
But her boyfriend is the one who is (thinking about) ending the relationship.

When you say it from her perspective, it's
>this bitch went behind her man's back and got nipple rings
But when it's his perspective, it's
>I can't believe she's choosing to end the relationship over something as stupid as nipple rings

>>17551923
xDDD ebic

>>17551201
You have to weigh the pros and cons. Sacrifice is the name of the game in most relationships. Me and my girlfriend have a great relationship but we also have firm boundaries for each other's behavior. Some things she wants me to refrain from doing I see as an unreasonable request, same for her too. But we both value our relationship more than those things.

And that my friend is why the divorce rate is so high - people do not value their relationship above other things. Nowadays people seem to think any request to change their behavior is controlling and unreasonable - and that's a toxic ideology to have. No, you aren't incompatible because your SO doesn't want you to do something you like to do. You're a child if you think getting a nipple piercing is more important than your SO's wishes. You're a child if you think any kind of boundary in a relationship is controlling.

If we're in a room with 100 perfectly good apples and I take one of those apples and ask you not to eat it, what am I to think when you defiantly pick it up and start eating it? Even if I didn't have a good reason to ask you not to eat it, you explicitly went against my wishes when there were other apples you could eat. And that's usually the gist of these "omg he's controlling and insecure run!!!" posts.

>my SO doesn't want me to [go to the club/get blackout drunk with my friends in a sleezy bar/get my nipples pierced by a man]!
>omg they're controlling and insecure run!

When the response should be

>That's a boundary they've clearly set. If the relationship is more important to you than [thing], then don't do it and maybe try to convince them to move the boundary later. If the [thing] is more important to you, then break up with them as the relationship clearly isn't important to you/isn't worth giving [thing] up

>>17551958
Look man, maybe you don't realize it because you're probably young and probably haven't dated around a whole lot. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm on 4chan so I'm gonna go on a hunch.

OP's boyfriend is textbook. You can't back up asinine insecurities with "but I waaaant it", and suddenly it's a valid reason to be upset.

Yes, on principle if someone asks you to do something and you deliberately go against it, that's bad. But when you look at the details of the situation, he's overreacting. And his behavior is pretty consistent with, well, every single insecure manbaby I've ever watched ruin a relationship through passive aggressive actions like refusing to talk to his girlfriend about something super trivial.

>>17551976
Adding to this, all of these people are now single and cry about it fucking daily, while their exes are with nice fellows who don't ruin good situations over the fact that a professional saw their gf's bare chest once for 5 minutes in the past

>People actually defending her boyfriend being a controlling, jealous, insecure, child

Wow, it's no wonder so many of you have issues with the ladie

>>17551976
>>17551985
>>17551989

i'm honestly fucking baffled as to how anyone is defending the boyfriend given the details and the context. it literally could not be more clear that he fucking sucks at communicating. if i were OP, i would be very carefully considering the future of her relationship with this dumbass. Five years is a long time and people change pretty significantly between 15 and 20 and even more so after 20, but this dude is still acting like he's 15.

>>17551976
Look man, I understand you're an extraterrestrial and don't have a grasp of human culture, but you can't just throw assumptions about me and think assumptions invalidate what I said.

It doesn't matter if the guy is insecure. He had a firm boundary, let her know about it, and she still crossed it. That's a valid reason to be upset regardless of if the reason to place the boundary is valid. It shows disrespect and if OP valued goddamn nipple piercings over her boyfriend's (whether or not they're born from insecurity or not) boundaries, then maybe she shouldn't be with him?

>>17551997
>He had a firm boundary, let her know about it, and she still crossed it.

She made an effort to honor it, realistically couldn't do so, TRIED TO COMMUNICATE THAT TO HIM, and he utterly failed to reciprocate the same effort in communication, thusly she continued on her way. She's a goddamn adult anyways.

additionally, what good is his "firm boundary" if it's based in some kind of toxic insecurity that'll surely undermine the entire relationship -- if not now, probably in the future.

Your points would be valid if the boyfriend a) continued communication with OP after she came to him with the info that there were no female piercers in the area and b) if he didn't react like a literal middle schooler

your stoicism is cute, but misplaced in this instance.

>>17551997
Just because he has a reason to be upset doesn't mean it's a good one. It's not like he didn't want her to get the rings, he just didn't want another guy to do it. Unfortunately, that's not really how the whole process happens and there is very little control OP actually had over the situation, other than just not getting them. And even though many, many people here who see bare breasts in professional settings tried to relay that it's really not that big a deal and that we don't get all hot and bothered by it, people are still unable to separate BREAST with SEX.

Listening to your SO is a good thing. Indulging vapid insecurities without question is not the formula for a healthy relationship. I hope you never come across that situation, friend. You seem alright.

>>17552008
>She made an effort to honor it, realistically couldn't do so, TRIED TO COMMUNICATE THAT TO HIM, and he utterly failed to reciprocate the same effort in communication

I'm not saying OP's boyfriend isn't a manbaby or piss poor at communication.

>She's a goddamn adult anyways.

An adult in a relationship. If she does something she knows will make her partner uncomfortable, then it's valid for him to be upset even if the reason for him being uncomfortable is invalid.

>toxic insecurity that'll surely undermine the entire relationship -- if not now, probably in the future.

I don't get this meme. Everyone is insecure at times about something. One instance of insecurity does not spell out doom for a relationship. If OP's boyfriend has a history of being insecure and OP isn't equipped to deal with it, then yes she should leave because it will be toxic.

>Your points would be valid if the boyfriend

My points are valid no matter what.

I tell you my boundary, regardless of whether or not my reasoning for it is valid.

You cross the boundary.

I am allowed to get upset.

That's it, nothing else matters. You can break up with me if the boundaries are too much of a deal breaker for you. But I still have every right to get upset over you crossing boundaries you know are there.

>>17551884

>I said you were right in my first response to you

Then continued to ramble. "YOU MAY BE RIGHT, BUT...."

I suggest in the future practicing a simple exercise. Look in the mirror, say outloud, "Hey, I was wrong." and then walk away. It'll come in handy for the next time you say something dumb and you get shut down.

Its okay to be wrong. There is a right way to be wrong and it typically includes the humility and maturity to just chalk it up and accept the responsibility of your words instead of spending the next hour trying to wiggle your way out from under the stupid shit you just said.

1.- In any healthy relationship, partners should be like best friends: Should support each other no matter what, or, at least, be respectful towards the other's desires. But at some point there will be conflict. The way your partner reacts to that conflict, will tell you how a good or bad person he/she is.
2.- No doubt your boyfriend is a male chauvinist. Run away asap.

>>17552026
>I tell you my boundary, regardless of whether or not my reasoning for it is valid.

>You cross the boundary.

>I am allowed to get upset

fuck, this is so autistic. You have to be able to factor in the details and the circumstances. It's ~literally~ not as black and white as you insist on making it.

>>17552026
>Everyone is insecure at times about something
Ok m8, how about this. My gf sometimes feels insecure about her body. So I make an effort to make her feel more positive about herself. This is how you positively confront an insecurity, by acknowledging it and making attempts at whittling down its power.

If my girlfriend's body insecurity suddenly made her decide she didn't want me hanging out with my female friends, most of which are very attractive women, then I would not entertain that. Sure, she made a line in the sand and might get upset, but that doesn't mean she has a right to be. And besides, if I did, her insecurities aren't gonna go away. They're just gonna manifest themselves again, in a new way, even though I didn't cross the line.

Can you see where the differences lie?

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Sounds crazy possessive/jealous to me.
I see why he flipped the fuck out, he's insecure and doesn't trust you. :/ I'd run, personally.

>>17552026

>If she does something she knows will make her partner uncomfortable, then it's valid for him to be upset even if the reason for him being uncomfortable is invalid.


False. That isn't an adult relationship. What you're describing is a childish hostage situation where one party dangles affirmation and affection over the other's head with the caveat that they meet every demand no matter how silly.

>One instance of insecurity does not spell out doom for a relationship.

Read the thread. OP made several attempts to communicate. She made several attempts to try to rectify the way he felt with the reality of the situation and he flat out refused over and over again.

>I tell you my boundary, regardless of whether or not my reasoning for it is valid. You cross the boundary. I am allowed to get upset. That's it, nothing else matters.

Thats such a narrow minded analysis of this situation. You're saying that I can be as immature, insecure, childish, aggressive and irrational as I want, as long as I explain my boundary first? Then I'm allowed to be upset when people don't bend to my will?

Well, my boundary is you not immediately closing your computer and going to take a nap on the nearest train tracks? You don't want to do that? Oh, well, I get to be upset now because I explained my boundary and you crossed it.

Doesn't matter if my reasoning is valid, correct? Its my boundary, so now I'm upset that you're not going to kill yourself and by your logic I'm completely justified in my anger

That's fucking retarded, dude.

>>17551958

>my SO doesn't want me to [go to the club/get blackout drunk with my friends in a sleezy bar/get my nipples pierced by a man]!

Thats the stupidest false equivalency I've every heard. Getting a simple body modification that makes you feel good about yourself is in no way comparable to rendering yourself unconscious in a night club with alcohol.

>>17552021
>Just because he has a reason to be upset doesn't mean it's a good one.

But it doesn't need to be a good one for him to get upset. He communicated what made him feel uncomfortable and she did it anyway. It might've been a shitty reason, but if she valued nipple piercings over his wishes then the relationship is doomed anyway.

>And even though many, many people here who see bare breasts in professional settings tried to relay that it's really not that big a deal and that we don't get all hot and bothered by it, people are still unable to separate BREAST with SEX.

Logically it may not be a good reason - but love and relationships are far from logical. Haven't you ever felt an emotion you know logically you shouldn't be feeling (in OP's boyfriend's case, insecurity about this), but you can't help but feel it? I'd rather be the partner that spares my partner the pain of feeling insecure about something they know they shouldn't be insecure about than the partner that pursues their own desires in spite of their partner's feelings.

My girlfriend shares these feelings with me too and we've always worked out well. Maybe it's because we're to the point where we're realistically talking about marriage, or maybe it's because of how we view relationships, but it's always worked out well for us. We put each other's feelings before our own most of the time and I just feel it works out really well.

>>17551294
>Why are his demands more important than what you want? Why is he disrespecting and ignoring your decisions. Why didn't he help you find alternatives if he felt so strongly

99% of /adv/ is /pol/ betas wondering why they're traditionalist, abusive way of life doesn't get them girlfriends/

>>17552058
>Haven't you ever felt an emotion you know logically you shouldn't be feeling, but you can't help but feel it?
Yes. I withhold my initial, knee-jerk reaction so that I may more closely analyze WHY exactly it is I feel this way. I try to take into consideration the situation, everyone involved, and I try to take an unbiased look at how my reaction would present me.

Yeah, I get insecure too, and I don't like it when my girlfriend mentions some dude at work or something. On the other hand, I can recognize this as a childish insecurity, a trait I find extremely unattractive, and that it's foolish to expect her not to interact with any men throughout her day. So, being a composed, confident man, I can easily push aside these feelings because I have self-respect and pride.

Because being a man involves not behaving like a punk bitch every time something doesn't go along with the way you want it to.

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>>17552058
>>17552058

>but if she valued nipple piercings over his wishes then the relationship is doomed anyway.

She didn't value the nipple piercings. It was the act that she valued.

She valued her own independence and lack of insecurity running her life over her boyfriend's childish, silent protest.

The same way stepping in front of the tank at tiananmen square wasn't a man ACTUALLY trying to stop a tank with his body but more so committing an act of symbolism.

Look deeper, spaghetti monster. There lies the truth.

>>17552039
>If my girlfriend's body insecurity suddenly made her decide she didn't want me hanging out with my female friends, most of which are very attractive women

Then the reasoning is invalid, but she established a boundary.

>then I would not entertain that

If the boundary is unacceptable to you then you should break up with her because it isn't going to work out.

>>17552054

>

False. That isn't an adult relationship. What you're describing is a childish hostage situation where one party dangles affirmation and affection over the other's head with the caveat that they meet every demand no matter how silly.

That has nothing to do with what I said...

>Read the thread. OP made several attempts to communicate. She made several attempts to try to rectify the way he felt with the reality of the situation and he flat out refused over and over again.

That has nothing to do with what I said (again), are you misquoting?

>Thats such a narrow minded analysis of this situation. You're saying that I can be as immature, insecure, childish, aggressive and irrational as I want, as long as I explain my boundary first? Then I'm allowed to be upset when people don't bend to my will?

You don't HAVE to bend to their will, but if the boundary is unacceptable to you then you shouldn't stay with them if you don't intend on keeping it. I could make an asinine demand for you to not breathe in for more than 5 seconds at a time because it makes me feel superrrrr uncomfortable, if you don't find that boundary acceptable then you should leave me.

>Well, my boundary is you not immediately closing your computer...

If you made that boundary, I'd leave you.

>Doesn't matter if my reasoning is valid...

If I stayed with you, yes. You said "This is my boundary for our relationship", so I would leave the relationship as I see the boundaries as unfit.

>Thats the stupidest false equivalency I've every heard.

I wasn't implying equivalence, I was giving examples I've seen.

>>17551930
>I can't believe she's choosing to end the relationship over something as stupid as nipple rings

Not that it matters because they're both garbage

He's a dumbass for dating someone incompatible then whining

She's a dumbass for getting her nipples pierced

>>17551336
I automatically assume everyone against tattoos is a 60 year old grumpy conservative fuck who sits on his front porch all day and yells at the black kids to not steal his stuff as they walk by his house

>>17552069
>She valued her own independence and lack of insecurity running her life over her boyfriend's childish, silent protest.

Then she should've just left him. There's no point in stringing someone along who has boundaries you do not deem as acceptable.

>>17552070
Dude none of us are saying that OP should stay with her boyfriend. In fact, I think most people here can agree he's a fuccboi, whether or not they agree with OP's actions.

Look man, if my girlfriend gets mad at me about something unreasonable, I'm not going to sit there and blow smoke up her ass like it's not. Unreasonable is unreasonable. A large portion of a healthy relationship is understanding this dynamic, because it WILL come up sooner or later.

Caving in to any asinine request at the threat of your SO throwing a tantrum is the hallmark of any abusive relationship. I know you think that "seriously talking about marriage" makes you some sort of authority here, until you realize that all of us were "seriously talking about marriage" at one time or another. Trust me, man, I've watched a LOT of people ruin relationships with people WAY out of their league because of this exact shit here.

>>17552089
I want to add something to this. My ex girlfriend once forbid me to stop eating fast food. Go ahead and re-read that, because I know you're gonna need to.

We were fat (she still is), and would get fucking livid at me if she chose to get fast food, and I didn't want any. I'm serious, even if I wasn't hungry, she would start screaming at me in the drive-thru if I didn't want anything. Because she was insecure about her wait, and expected me to feed into (heh) her insecurity.

By your logic I should've gone along with that dumb shit, huh? Or because I'm the man and she's the women, it doesn't apply?

>>17552089
>Look man, if my girlfriend gets mad at me about something unreasonable, I'm not going to sit there and blow smoke up her ass like it's not. Unreasonable is unreasonable.

I agree that the reason he didn't want her to get it done by a man was unreasonable. But the fact still remains that he set a clear boundary and she knowingly crossed it. He may have had a poor reason to set the boundary but it's still there, she still knowingly crossed it instead of breaking it off, he has every right to be upset about it.

>Caving in to any asinine request at the threat of your SO throwing a tantrum is the hallmark of any abusive relationship.

Then you should leave? But staying with them just to then cross their boundaries is cruel.

>>17552094
You should've broke it off if that wasn't acceptable for you.

It's like going into a bank and getting a loan, you don't like something in the contract, but you sign it anyway and break the contract.

>>17552094
>about her wait
Her weight, excuse me. Gosh

>>17552102
>You should've broke it off if that wasn't acceptable for you.

I did, dude. You keep saying that like it's not the same advice we're all pushing. You just think it should be done with her being of the mind that it's entirely her fault, for some reason.

>>17552108
The relationship breaking off at that point (before boundary is crossed) would've been his fault. He wanted something unreasonable from her, she didn't want to take it.

Dump his ass for a real nigga

>>17552117
The reason I drew the parallel to my ex girlfriend and her crazy requests was so that I could exemplify this:

Even though I'M the one who 'crossed the boundary', and even though I'M the one who decided to have the break-up talk, what ultimately ended the relationship was HER inability to confront her own insecurities

>>17552129
And you're right.

But you did cross the boundary, and her being upset over it is valid.

>>17552136
is it tough being this fucking obtuse all the time

>>17552136
You and I have very different definitions of what constitutes validity.

There's a line when it comes to requests like this.

OPs request was inherently petty, childish and controlling. It's based insecurities. Using your insecurities as a means to control someone is often, abuse. I've done it, and it's happened to me, and it's not ok.

If a professional seeing her nipples to pierce them is that big of a deal to him then maybe they aren't meant to be a couple. Maybe he should be with someone who would never ever want another man seeing her tits, even in a setting such as a piercing parlor.

See this is a tricky one, both sides are kind of right.

You're boyfriend is being an idiot no doubt, he really shouldn't be acting this way at all.

On the other hand, it seems the other side of the argument seems to think "you should accept any ol' behavior your partner throws at you for the sake of not being controlling". If my SO was out at the bar every other night, doing god knows what, coming home trashed at 4 am constantly you're damn right I'd have an issue with it.

There's nothing wrong with going into a relationship with boundaries, but unless you're an absolute free spirit whose cool with your SO running around doing w.e. the fuck he/she wants, there are probably going to be times where your SO's wants/actions conflict with those boundaries and a compromise has to be made.

For example in the situation i stated above, if I were to confront my SO about it I'd say "Listen, I don't care that you go out to the bar, you deserve to go out with the girls every once and a while and enjoy yourself. However you doing it to the extent that you do has me worried about how serious you really are about me" (maybe not in such a chick-flicky way, but you get the jist).

If a solution can't be met that makes both people happy then the relationship should end because they clearly aren't compatible with each other.

Now assuming your situation is an isolated incident you should be fine. Despite what I said earlier shit like this just kinda happens in relationships sometimes, it's nbd. Even though you broke one of his boundaries and he simply was not happy with the outcome it's such a small incident that he has to have the mentality of an actual 8 year old for it to cause any real problem in the relationship.

He's insecure, sounds like the type of guy who wouldn't let you around any other guys out of fear something might happen. He overreacted, if he felt confident in the relationship, this wouldn't bother him. I bet he wouldn't even let you alone in a room with another guy, even for a minute or two.

>>17552417
That depends on if she's willingly topless in those rooms

>>17550955
>nipple piercings

The guy sounds like a douche canoe, but you sound like trailer trash, so I guess it evens out. PS how's the lower back tattoo coming?

>>17552070

I'm going to respond as a whole because all of your rebuttals carry the same logical pitfall. The origin of the thread was not whether OP should leave her boyfriend, so expanding beyond the scope of the discussion so we don't have to address the flaw in your logic is not really in the cards right now.

Thats like me asking whether the lasagna in a particular restaurant is good or not and you turn it into a discussion about whether or not the place deserves to go out of business.

You're expounding, wildly. Its a good idea when you're losing ground in a debate but its a distraction technique, at best.

She asked whether or not he overreacted in this one specific incident, not whether she should leave him over this one incident.

>I wasn't implying equivalence

.... So what do you think its called when you compare two things that wildly differ in severity and context. I'll give you a clue. Its two words and rhymes with Talse Faquivolency.

>>17552077

>Then she should've just left him.

You make a good point, but like I said previously, playing the "woulda shoulda coulda" game when talking about one specific incident is fairly useless. She wasn't asking us whether the relationship was worth continuing, so using "Well they shouldn't be dating" as a reason for she was wrong doesn't really make any sense.

>If my SO was out at the bar every other night, doing god knows what, coming home trashed at 4 am constantly you're damn right I'd have an issue with it.

I'd really like all this false equivalency to come to an end. In what world do you live in is chronic alcoholism and partying equivalent to getting a discrete piercing underneath your clothes by a trained professional?

This isn't really about boundaries so much as it is her boyfriend's insecurity. Setting boundaries are healthy. Setting boundaries based on selfishness and immaturity, while it may seem fine if you find a girl who is alright with you behaving that way, is a really dumb way to live.

>>17550955
>Basically, am I just a bitch or did he over react?

Yes.

Dump his ass, OP. He sounds abusive.

>>17552489
I'd first try to talk it out, find out the underlying issue. him being all insecure about a man doing the procedure isn't the primary issue.
you don't throw away 5 years like that, even when you're 20. that's a lot of time you spent together.

>>17550955
He's kind of being an ass, hopefully he'll get over it. But he's also just being a bit insecure and he doesn't want you to leave him (although after five years I don't think you're going to).

>>17550955
fucking filthy little cumwhore

i bet you like filthy great big loads shot right down your throat

i hope you contract HIV and get AIDS which is un-treatable you subhuman filth

>boyfriend angry I showed my tits to a guy who played with them
>even paid him money
>I don't understand why he'd be angry
>Here, I'll post my tits online so guys can tell me what they think

kek, OP must be mad as hell at her bf or crazy as hell trying to start drama, this is hilarious

>>17552817
>boyfriend angry I showed my tits to a guy who played with them
why you got to make up shit?

>Here, I'll post my tits online so guys can tell me what they think
the fuck you talking about?

>>17551569
you didn't say it but those that took your side did and you did not stop them or defend him as a person in any way.

>ask SO not to do something
>they do it anyway
>"Um like WTF why are you mad?"
It's the thought that counts, OP.

>>17550955
>hes just angry he found someone who was wife material but now clearly isnt

>>17553931
So you think I'm going to go through each one of these comments and defend either myself, or him? I'm not going to waste my time to respond to each one. You're missing the point of this thread. I'm not trashing my boyfriend, I asked if he was over reacting or if I was being insensitive. I never asked if you all thought he was an asshole and if I should break up with him. Another reason I don't respond to all of these is because I'm talking to him about the whole situation. We have both come to an agreement in this arguement since then. We're both fine as of right now. Also, I'm not being insensitive for putting this on 4chan. He literally made a post about it in /b the day before asking for third party opinions.

>>17553931
He also followed this thread and did not comment. Clearly insults toward myself or him, were not taken seriously by him seeing as he didn't feel the need to respond or talk himself up.

Piercing and tattoing are perfectly normal and if bf is too insecure to deal with boobies being pierced by someone else, that's a red flag that he's disgustingly insecure.

Ignore all the teentards (this IS 4chan, and all 4chan is /b/). BF isn't acting like a grownup.

Insecure people are shit. I avoid them. Life is too short to submit to emotional blackmail.

My wife was tatted and pierced when we met. I have ink but don't care for jewelry. We were both cheerful sluts before then. Didn't matter and we were in monogamous love for 24 years before she died.

BTW I have tattooist bros and all they give a shit about is the art and getting PAID. They don't try to fuck hot customers. After you handle enough tits, they are just tits.

>>17554623
I'm glad she died

I wish I could resurrect her, rape her, then kill her again in-front of you for being such a faggot

>>17554035
you called him insecure yourself which fueled more vitriol towards him. Why would he jump in the thread when you and your wolf pack were ready to trash. I'm sure he appreciated what you did.

>>17554035
just take a good look at the post following OP. This is what you encouraged

>>17550955
He's completely in the wrong. He said he wanted you to get them pierced by a girl, which is a fine request, and you told him you'd try. When he didn't respond and you got them pierced by a guy, there's a little gray area as to who's in the wrong, but his response is unreasonable. Idk what people are thinking when they're saying you're in the wrong, it's literally the guy's job to do that. I assume he doesn't care and nothing would happen, especially since you're primed to be uncomfortable by your jealous boyfriend. Dump his ass if he holds this kind of thing over you

Holy shit, there's a lot of jealous manbabies ITT. Like you said, the dude was a professional, it's not a big deal that he got to touch your tit for 10 seconds. Does he get upset when you go to the doctor too? Tell him to grow up.

>>17554675
He takes opinions by people on 4chan with a grain of salt. The last thing he's going to do is take insults by people on here seriously, just like I don't. And I do think it was insecure of him. I wasn't hiding that from him. He knows how I feel about the situation. As I said before, we disagreed, but he has even started liking the piercings. Regardless of the disagreement, we aren't letting a small situation end a 5 year relationship.

>>17550961
This. You should have fucking respected your bf. You should have waited and found a female to pierce your nipples.

File: 1469737760780.jpg (128KB, 922x1024px) Image search: [Google]

128KB, 922x1024px

>>17551021
Best post ITT. Probably only simple, logical piece of advice.

Go tell your boyfriend exactly this and enjoy your new piercings.

Also

Here are some nice boobies, on the house

>>17554851
Exact thing I told him last night.