Poll: Why don't women normally ask guys out?

>>17423127
Lots of reasons.

Because asking a person out is stressful and difficult. Women don't want to deal with stressful or difficult things so as long as they can just keep making men do it, they will. Because they don't care about how you feel and will happily let you feel shitty if it means she doesn't have to.

Because generally the person doing the asking out is the one responsible for impressive and entertaining the one they asked out. Women don't want to deal with that so again they just let you deal with it. (and pay for everything too)

Because getting rejected feels awful and women again, don't want to deal with it or the risk of dealing with it, so they pawn it off on you.

Because in their eyes if a guy doesn't ask her out first, he's a pathetic beta and not worthy of her attention anyways.

Of course they'll never admit these things and just give bullshit answers like "Oh society just makes me act that way I don't have a choice" or "Well guys like to be the dominant one so I just let them" but that's all bullshit, they just want an easy ride through everything.

>>17423143
>>>/r9k/

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>>17423127
Because the courage and determination required to ask someone out are traits most women find attractive. The 'sexist stereotypes' are, by and large, true; women want to be pursued.

they do though
they just arent that interested in you
even the shiest chick will get someone to let you know something is going on in her panties when she looks at you

>>17423158
>lying
>pretending sending signals is "actively pursuing"

>>17423165
>i am 16 but im expert on women trust me its like this

get out

>>17423127
They don't have to because men will do it for them.
If a man waits around he will die alone
If a woman waits around he will still get into a relationship, just less likely it will be with just the person she wanted.

Women still occasionally go after guys too when they want someone in particular too, it's just rarer than the other way around.

>>17423165
>>pretending sending signals is "actively pursuing"
In the deranged female mind, it is

>>17423127
I haven't been actively taught not to ask out, but it's a kind of dynamic you learn growing up - guys are the one who pursue you, you're the pursued one. It's a kind of dynamic you see everywhere, from fables to cartoons to movies to TV shows.
When you start being old enough to date, you keep always the pursued one. I never had to ask guys out. Some guys even told me they see it as unfeminine and off-putting.
I flirt and I make the first move, but asking out still would feel pretty weird.

I guess it mostly has to do with traditional feminine and masculine roles and what genders learn growing up.

>>17423189
Tell me about all the men you've asked out then.

>>17423127
Because not asking men out efficiently filters out a specific kind of creeper: the kind who is afraid to ask women out and refuses to face his fear. These men are not ready for relationships, and can bring nothing but pain, but this makes it very easy to avoid them.

Plain and simple because there never was the need to do the first step. When i showed interest in a guy it wasn't long till he made a move on me. I would have had to actively try to be faster than him to be the agressor.

>>17423127
In my relationships i'm usually the one to make the first step, ask out, etc. so i guess it depends on a person.

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gender roles
it's a thing

women are attracted to men who take the initiative. it's embedded into their DNA just like you are programmed to be attracted to an amazing pair of boobs.
you wanna go against millions of years of evolution or do you just want to stop being a pussy?

Basic animal biology. Pretty much every species is characterized by a crowd of males fighting to mate with each female.

Hey OP, I used to ask men out every once in a while if it was someone I was interested enough in. I got rejected every time so I stopped. I think most men like the idea of a woman asking them out, but not the reality. I just let men come to me now and it works out fine.

>>17423503
This and only this.

If a woman asks a guy out, it's because she is different from the majority of females. She is a "go getter" type of female. She is guaranteed to be in charge of other aspects of her life as well. She's more of a dominating type than the rest of her peers.

I didn't outright ask my last boyfriend out, but I made all the moves, he was too shy to. If I want someone enough, I'll pursue them. Generally, if I don't pursue a man, it's because I'm not interested enough. I might give a guy a chance if he asks me first, but he didn't catch my eye if he has to pursue me.

Generally speaking, though, taking charge is considered a masculine trait. Women who want to be perceived as very feminine aren't going to do the pursuing, because it's simply not the feminine role. Some people find aggressive women intimidating.

>>17423542
What you're leaving out is how ugly you are compared to them. No man would dislike the reality of a 10/10 hbb asking him out. Guaranteed.

>>17423127
Social conditioning and they are MASSIVELY afraid of rejection. They'd rather throw hints out and hope you catch on than to have a chance of being rejected out right.

>>17423564
nah I have rejected 10/10 before because I go for both looks and personality. the rest of the girls I have rejected were just average and not what I was looking for exactly.

>>17423582
If you disliked being desired by a 10/10 then you're a closeted fag.

>>17423590
nah it was really temping actually but she was in the crazy scale and you should know better then to stick your dick in crazy.

>>17423127
Because a woman will have many offers coming in elsewhere.
It is the path of the least resistance, why risk getting rejected when you can reject people and pick whoever you like from those that are interested?

>>17423564
Well I can't comment on that. The guys in my classes in college used to talk about having sex with me all the time according to my bf (who was one of them), so I have to be at least some level of attractive to my peers. Oh well.

>>17423127
I've been asked out before.

Public options, standards. If a women ask a lot of guys out her 'value' decreases and she is seen as more slutty. If a guy ask a lot of women out he is seen as more aggressive and is desired more if he successful, otherwise he just comes off desperate.

I have and I've been shot down each time. I blame myself for misunderstanding being friendly for being interested.
So now I wait so that I will know for sure if he is interested.

>>17423349
So why is that bad when men are "afraid" and "not ready" but perfectly OK for women?

Why would women pursue men when men will come to them? Why do the work if you can collect the payout by doing nothing? I'm not saying it is right or wrong or fair or unfair, but it makes perfect sense that women don't ask men out

>>17423151

Not that guy, but he's got a fucking point.

They do pawn that shit off on men alot.
Who can blame them, they probably fear we'll reject them just as harshly as they can reject us.

I'm not even joking about that. Thew very few times I've rejected women it's been like;
>"Sorry, I don't really know you that well, and I'm not the type to get with strangers"
or
>"sorry, you're not really my type".

Best rejection I ever got from a woman was her laughing in my face.
Considered myself lucky, because I actually see that as rather discreet and not at all public humiliation compared to some of the worse ones.

Women are literally evil, yet claim to be more "empathetic" and the "fair sex".
You can tell me to go to /r9k/ and claim I live in some "fantasy" land, but I know what I've seen and godamnit there is a reason us brits don't bother with women that much.

Well thankfully the number of men not interested in dating rises ever day, and as Japan has demonstrated when that happens, the women don't become any more proactive in dating and the country starts to go extinct. So we're not too far off either.

>>17423127
Supply and demand

There is no demand for you

>>17424240
That is simplifying a much more complex matter. Japan's issue is living costs, insane work hours, and their work culture. Its not as simple as men/women, its money. On here it sounds like there is far worse social issues going on wherever the majority of anons on this thread are from.

>>17423127

women do pursue men, they just do it in different ways. instead of going up to a guy and asking him out, she smiles, she might go talk to him, she presents herself as an option.

but they get a lot of guys hitting on them naturally so dont need to unless they see someone exceptional

>>17424214
>So why is that bad when men are "afraid" and "not ready" but perfectly OK for women?
Did I claim that it was?

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>Op asks a question for women
>a bunch of men who barely interact with girls irl answer the question
/adv/ at its finest

>>17423127
Desirable women are being pursued on a regular basis. They know how to give clues.

That's all it is.

>>17424441
Well we know women sure as hell can't take the initiative in anything so somebody's got to step up and answer.

I've been chased by girls before. It's uncommon, but not rare. I like it.

>>17424441
>>The last person I kissed was my mother.

>>17424611
kek

Anyway I've been chased by about half a dozen girls throughout my life. I just avoided them until they gave up though, never had to turn down one explicitly.

>>17423151
Care to point out what specifically you think was wrong with his post?
Women know that men want them to ask us out. They know it's very sexist to expect men to do all the work. They know men are the ones being stuck with the shitty gender roles. They know that women who ask men out are more successful than women who don't.

So knowing all of that, why do YOU think women continue to enforce sexist gender roles that cause a lot of the conflict between men and women?

>>17423127
>Yes but what specifically, were you taught you'd be a slut if you ever pursued a man, or something?
Girl here. Actual girl here. Yes, this is part of it.

Also, we're told that men don't like women who are too forward because that emasculates them. I was also raised with the belief that men will actively pursue women they really want because it's in their nature. So if you're giving a guy all the signs and he doesn't pursue you then continuing to flirt with him means he doesn't like you and it makes a woman look desperate and pathetic.

Honestly, I've hardly seen men actually fall for women who make the first move. They might date her because men will hardly say no to a "free meal" but they often regret it and go ask out a girl they're really into later.

>>17423158
Smiling at a guy is not the same as taking initiative.
Ask yourself this: of a man acted that way and did nothing else, would you say he took enough initiative?
Having much lower expectations for women is also sexist anon. If we hold women to the same standards as men then no, women virtually never take initiative. Giving vague hints doesn't count when men do it so it doesn't count when women do it either

>>17424240
I keep seeing people talk about why men are checking out. This is exactly why. We're raised being told that sexism and gender roles are our fault, then find out that 99% of women will never date a man who treats her like an equal. Fuck that, the least women could do is accept that sexism is their fault and that they could get rid of it if they wanted to instead of somehow blaming men. I can't count how many feminists I know who refuse to ask men out or take initiative, yet blame men for sexism and bitch about the patriarchy forcing women to be passive .

If you like sexism, then at least own up to it ladies

Guys don't like being asked out. If a woman asks a guy out she'll be labelled slutty or a stalker. The type of women who ask a man out are usually less attractive in looks or personality than the type of woman the same man would pursue.

>>17424681
It's amazing how little ground most women are willing to give on this issue. ANY double standard that is harmful to men is simply denied or brushed aside with "oh of course feminists and women are trying to help" while providing no evidence. You can see it everywhere, for example I'll be talking to a woman who I consider to be intelligent, fair, and reasonable but as so as this topic comes up they start regurgitating the standard feminist lines you hear everywhere. I think in the end it's just basic biology, both men and women are hardwired to be far more sympathetic to women, so of course they take advantage of that, but it's still incredibly infuriating to see this hypocrisy everywhere.

>>17424689
>Guys don't like being asked out.
How can you say that even though most guys have never experienced it?
You're just making excuses to justify being lazy and never having to put yourself at risk.

>>17424656
>Making the first move is "all the work"
Goddamit, Boner-Boy, what does it take to get you to stop shitting this nonsense all over the boards? Grow the fuck up and face your goddamn fears already.

>>17425115
I don't think anyone this obsessed with a petty online anonymous "rivalry" is in a position to tell others to grow up

>>17425134
>I don't think anyone this obsessed with a petty online anonymous "rivalry" is in a position to tell others to grow up
So sue me. Watching a delusional creepo shit all over your favorite discussion site in exactly the same way for a year and a half gets old.

>>17425155
The amount of irony and lack of self awareness in this post is almost comical.

>>17425182
Glad to please. The comedic straightman is an important role.

Though Boner-Boy really has been spewing this nonsense for a year and a half. All because he's too scared of women to go up and talk to them. After all, they might -horror of horrors- SAY NO.

>>17425396
Hey namefag guess what?
My favorite color is blue.
Now you're fucked.

>>17423200
How many women have you asked out?

>>17423127
I would honestly prefer, as a female, to be the one that had to ask guys out. It's scary when men are too aggressive, but women can get away with it more often as we are usually smaller and less threatening.

>>17423127
What's the worst rejection femanons have ever had?

I've always been very considerate and yet honest when rejecting women. I've straight up been like "I'm not interested, sorry" or I had to tell one of them that I can't do LDR because I tried it once already and it didn't work. But I don't know how men usually are when they reject a woman, or if they usually do the whole 'ghosting' bullshit instead of just being fucking honest.

>>17425545
2. Now can you answer my question.

I have asked out two guys. They were the only guys I've ever liked before. It wasn't difficult for me at all, I have no problem doing it. I was basically trying to win over the same guy for two years, didn't work out, naturally.

An answer to your question: Dominance and confidence bordering on being arrogant are two things I (and most women) find incredibly attractive in men. There's nothing wrong with embracing gender roles, I think they are natural.

>>17425660
The worst rejection I've ever had was a guy saying yes to a date, texting me an hour before to make sure I was still up to it, then not showing up. Saw him the next night, he was drunk and pretended none of it happened. killed me desu

>>17425802
I really hate when people say it's attractive in men. Its attractive in people in general.

I'd love a confident woman who expresses herself and takes charge of her own life. It would be amazing to partner with somebody like that. But it's almost like women want a guy who is confident and assertive only so that they themelves can remain passive. Sort of like how out of shape people desire in shape people regardless of their own fitness level.

>>17425805
What a cunt, similar thing happened to me but she said she "turned her mobile data off". Idk why people cant juat be honest.

>>17425802
>There's nothing wrong with embracing gender roles, I think they are natural.
*so long as they benefit me, any that don't are oppressive patriarchy and need to be done away with immediately*

I approached my boyfriend, asked him out, paid for the hotel we hooked up in that night. Our anniversary is in 5 days :)

>>17425850
But why?

>>17425810
I know, I just worded it towards how I feel personally. I like being submissive to guys I date, it just feels right. In all other aspects of my life, it's the opposite. Femininity does not equal boring/inexpressive/unconfident. I'm not saying that's how everyone is, just that I do like "traditional gender roles" in relationships, and I don't think it has much to do with women being passive or boring.

>>17425839
lmao I don't think I've ever seriously used the words "oppressive" or "patriarchy" in my entire life

I think the short answer is I've never had to and I've never been compelled to. I've only ever been with my one partner, and he was the pursuer. His determination was definitely a factor that wooed me.

>>17425858
Well he was handsome and seemed like a fun and respectful person.

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>>17425802
>>17425871

I've never needed to. When I was single, I never really pined for a relationship like guys here do. If it happened, it happened. If it didn't, ah well.

ITT:
>I am such a mess that I can`t pick a decent woman, and blame everyone but myself
and
>I have to show these anonymous virgin losers that I am the exception

>>17425904
>I've found a way to feel superior to both

I was talking with this girl one time and asked her if she'd ever go up and tell a guy she liked him. She said she wouldn't because that's just what men are supposed to do. I don't understand this logic, if you want something, why not go get it? I find that attractive. I'm not gonna call her a slut or anything because she took an interest to me, if anything I think it takes guts to walk up to a guy and ask him for his number or something. If a guy or girl can't appreciate that then fuck them, they obviously weren't worth the time you wanted to give them.

>>17425958
>if you want something, why not go get it?
What are the odds a random stranger is single, interested in dating, and actually finds you attractive enough to date? And if you know a man well enough to know he's single and he hasn't made a move on you, doesn't that scream somethings wrong with you?

>>17425973
So why do you expect men to do it all for you, and think you're a magic exception to the rules you giant hypocrite?

>>17425978
Why are you so mad? You need to find a productive way to channel it.

>>17425982
OK, I'll channel it into asking you the question again. And I'll even go the extra mile and ask why you dodged the question and just tried to insult me. And I think I might go even further and preemptively ask why you're about to dodge all these questions again.

>>17425986
Can you repay the question?

>>17425973
>What are the odds a random stranger is single, interested in dating, and actually finds you attractive enough to date?
That's just the gamble you have to take when you want something. You can't just flash your pearly whites at something and have it dropped in your lap, you gotta work for it.

>And if you know a man well enough to know he's single and he hasn't made a move on you, doesn't that scream somethings wrong with you?
Not that something is wrong with you, but he either
a. doesn't find you attractive
b. doesn't want to ruin the friendship
c. doesn't want to deal with the problems of a relationship
d.has some other emotional baggage that prevents him from pursuing you
And obviously everyone is different and have their own problems, but these seem like the most common ones.

>>17425982
Oh come on, that's no fun if we resort to attacking each others characters

>>17425996
Unfortunately not, as I would have to have initially paid it in order to repay it. And I will not do that to begin with because you can't pay an idea.

No matter how much you dance around it you've basically already answered though (and I pretty much already knew from the start). You're just a sexist hypocrite.

>>17425998
>That's just the gamble you have to take when you want something
Why gamble at all? You're just as likely to find someone you like if you wait and be selective, compared to being active.

>>17426012
>Why gamble at all? You're just as likely to find someone you like if you wait and be selective,
Implying that you know they're single for sure, you still have to gamble on the odds that the person finds you attractive and is interested in dating. You might have a safer bet on the girl/guy you've been cool with for a few weeks or months now than the stranger on the street, but either way you're taking a gamble on whether or not they really find you attractive. You could even argue there's more at stake when it comes to someone who do know since they have had time to learn your habits, and thoughts and feelings on various things. To me that gamble takes guts. You're putting your heart out there and hoping someone will accept your feelings.

>>17425510
what

>>17426077
Mr namefag seems to think it's impossible that more than one person in the world can have a certain opinion. So now that I've told him my favorite color is blue he'll be convinced everyone in the world that has the same favorite color is actually me. It'll drive him crazy trying to figure out how I can be in so many different places at once and pull off so many perfect disguises.