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I WAS NOT HER FIRST

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How the fuck do I cope with the fact that some other man fucked my girlfriend before I even met her?

She is the first girl I have ever had sex with, but she doesn't know and in fact thinks I was a promiscuous douche before dating her. I was too embarrassed to tell her I was a virgin, so I fabricated my past entirely throughout our relationship.

How do you do it? Is it even worth being with someone who lost her virginity to another man? I am truly puzzled about my mixed feelings on the matter, and I don't know how to handle it.

I have asked her multiple times if she feels anything for him, and she said no, getting mad that I was so persistent and that I mistrusted her so often. She has also told me multiple times she hadn't quite enjoyed being with anyone as much as me and that she had never felt what she feels for me for anyone, but I'm on the verge of going insane with second guesses and intrusive thoughts.

Any help or /adv/ice appreciated.
>>
>>>/r9k/

Go, your people await you
>>
Dump her. She deserves someone honest, and she'll get over it like a normal human, where as you'll over analyze the shit out of it and everything forever until you die alone.
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>>17394448
I think we have this thread 15 times a week.

You shouldn't have lied to your girlfriend. It was a pretty stupid move, and you've been an asshole.

She had sex with someone else - You either cope with it or break up with her. Don't ruin her life if you can't deal with something she can't change.
If you don't have particular moral problems with sex, the fact that she had sex with just one person shouldn't bother you particularly, especially if this partner was a long term.
People usually don't have particular feelings about the person they had sex with for the first time, and if she is with you she has a reason to.
You're creating your own problems.

In your case, since you've been lying to her from the beginning and you're this insecure about it, I think you should break up with her and be honest about your past as you do.
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>>17394448
1. Why do you think you should have had her virginity??? Like, who gives you the right to her first time?
2. You only think she's lying because you are lying, captain tinywiener
3. break up now and don't stalk her
>>
Don't think about it you dumbass. This should not be an issue.
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>>17394448
one man or a bunch of men OP? Big difference. One man you better just suck it up and deal. It is not her fault you were a virgin. Most teens are fucking for sport and you the anomaly.
>>
You're just an insecure douchebag dude. That shit doesn't even matter.

Just to make you feel better in my case me and my high school sweetheart lost our viriginity to each other, but we're broken up now and she's been with the same dude for several months and they love each other a shit ton. Like i can barely get her to talk to me anymore and we dated for 3 years
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>>17394448

>>>/r9k/
>>
>>17394462
>You shouldn't have lied to your girlfriend
>lie to her about your sexual history
>she gets pissed at you for lying
>dumps your ass

>tell her the truth about your sexual history
>she suddenly sees imaginary red flags popping up
>gets pissed that you waited [however long] to tell her
>dumps your ass for being a virgin and/or never dating before
yay
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>>17394506
Then a girl who had a lot of casual sex should lie about it to get in a relationship?

>she suddenly sees imaginary red flags popping up
Being virgin after a certain age, if you're not waiting for marriage or something, is a red flag.
Not because of the virginity itself, but because there is a reason why you didn't manage to have sex with a girl before your mid 20s. I want to know if that reason is a deal breaker for me.

>dumps your ass for being a virgin and/or never dating before
I've never seen it happening.
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>>17394519
>I want to know if that reason is a deal breaker for me.
>implying that the first thing that pops into your head isn't "oh shit he must be a fucking creep"
>not because people just never gave him the time of day
yeah fucking right
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>>17394524
>implying that the first thing that pops into your head isn't "oh shit he must be a fucking creep"
My first thought would be "weird" (and it actually is odd that someone in his mid 20s is still virgin), followed by "why?".
Of course it's not the kind of conversation that one should have on a first date or something. Or I will actually think he's a creep.

>not because people just never gave him the time of day
Why didn't them? Because everybody is a super bad person or because there is something wrong about him?
Some things wouldn't be a problem for me, some others would.
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>>17394532
I'm OP. I'm 18, she's 22.
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>>17394532
>Why didn't they?
>Oh shit hold on, let me call everyone I used to know and ask them why they rejected me or why so-and-so never showed any interest in me
yeah okay
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>>17394519
>Then a girl who had a lot of casual sex should lie about it to get in a relationship?
yes, because the guy will always make you go through each and every man and situation and you have to explain why you had sex and if you enjoyed it or not and you have to lie then anyway so take it off the table early and lie
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>>17394551
I'm not saying you should ask, I am just saying it is not "everybody else's fault", but there's probably something wrong with you.
If you really can't realize what's so repellent about you, you should try to become more self aware and to improve yourself.

>>17394548
So you are worrying about a 22 year old who had just one sexual partner? That's pretty childish.
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>>17394569
>That's pretty childish.
Never said the opposite.
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>>17394567
I start wondering what kind of people you hang out with, if any...
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>>17394497
LMAO
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>>17394569
>but there's probably something wrong with you.
I'm guessing not being attractive enough in anyone else's eyes, or there being much better options than yourself isn't a legitimate answer.
>>
>breathe in air
>air that everyone has farted in and coughed in


God, where can I some virgin air around here?
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>>17394609
I don't know about air but lightnings make water sometimes.
>>
>>17394448
uh imagine you fuck someone after this relationship
how would you want them to cope

there's your answer dickfuck
everyone has a history
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>>17394448
Okay, listen up. Here's my story, to give you some perspective.

I am 30 years old and I've been with my current girlfriend for 10 months. I wasn't a virgin before, neither was she.
I've had sex with 1 woman before her, she's had sex with over 20 men. I lost my virginity at age 24, she lost hers at age 13.
When we first met, she thought I'd be some kind of chad and a massive pussy magnet. We fucked on the 2nd date but I only got the balls to make this move after she texted me to come over and cuddle. I knew she's had a lot of dudes before, but I didn't care, because I just wanted to fuck to get over my last girlfriend, whom I had broken up with not a long time before. We fucked the next day, and the next and so forth. She immediately fell in love with me and told me that she had never had such good sex before. Then I told her that I had only fucked 1 woman before her which surprised and somewhat alienated her, but she's dealt with that ever since, so what ever.

And, yes, at one point her sexual past started bothering me. It wasn't exactly the fact that she fucked other dudes before me but rather the fact that I hadn't been able to pull in pussy. The thought of me being an r9k tier loser almost ate me up and made me depressed.

Eventually, I started to realize that I'm not an ugly loser. In fact, quite the contrary. If I only put a little effort into it, I could pull in massive amount of pussy.

Everyone has their time, some people are just late bloomers. Don't let that stop you from being happy. No, you're not entitled to a virgin bride. No one is. The more of a late bloomer you are, the more your chances of fucking a virgin dwindle. So what. Life's unfair. Others have fucked like mad as teenagers but get erection problems in their late 30ies. Some have it all, someone will always look better, be more successful, attractive etc. That doesn't mean you're an r9k loser by a long shot, and if you are, there are countless methods of improving yourself.
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>not okay gf isn't a virgin
>fabricated his whole sexual past

see a therapist
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How do you think she deals with the "fact" that she was not your first (which she's mistaken about, but she thinks it's the case so she has to deal with it anyway)? It's pretty much like that.
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>>17394448
>dating virgin males

Hahaha oh wow, not even once. God damn what a nightmare.
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>>17394782
Everyone has to lose their virginity at some point in order to not be a virgin.
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>>17394786
Great, that's some other sorry sucker's problem, then. OP's poor girlfriend is a trooper to take that burden.
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>>17394782
>>17394799
Allow me to laugh in your face for a minute.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Thanks.
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>>17394448
But you lied to her about your past? Honesty deserves honesty.. now you're mad about choices she has made in the past before you.. shes not psychic, she didn't know that sometime in the future you would be upset about that. Grow up and get over it.. being upset about something you cannot change is ridiculous. Move on if you can't get over it
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>>17394713
Yeah. I don't know where the fuck you people got I was old. I fucking said it before. I am 18, my girlfriend is 22.
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>>17394835
>bangs a 22 year old
>expects her to be a virgin

You realize that most girls reach puberty at age 12?
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>>17394861
So?
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>>17394875
It's just that they're statistically extremely unlikely to be virgins at that age

Even 90%+ of males have had sex by that age.
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>>17394878
My initial post and the point of the thread was trying to get help on how to dels with that fact, precisely. But whatever, I feel a lot better now that I remembered how others just come to this board to provide passive-aggressive advice that'll make them feel better. Thanks for your replies anyway.
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>>17394782
>>17394799
>And people give me shit and tell me I'm wrong when I say there's no hope if you're out of highschool and have never dated and/or fucked
>>
I used to feel the same when i had my first girlfriend she had had sex with 10 guys before me she but i got over it when i turned 15 and realised that it dosnt matter howmany sexual partners my girl had what matters is that she loved me and i loved her
So unless you dont love her dude whats your problem
And if you dont save the poor girl her trouble and leave because she obviously is inlove with you
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>>17394912
And protip mistrusting your girl will probably push her away and she will either leave or cuck your ass
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>>17394919
Also you lied to her about having sex with a bunch of girls yet you kept questioning her loyalty and asking if she felt anything that guy what do you thinks going through her head ? Insecurites like that will make her think you're cheating on her bro
Thread posts: 41
Thread images: 1


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