ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

Females:

How can I reject you without you getting butthurt? Are there any good ways to bail on a date early?

>>17324571
Honesty is always best. But don't expect to salvage a relationship as a friend.

>>17324571
Stick the date out unless you have really good reason to leave- like if the girl's constantly insulting you or something. It's really impolite to ditch someone like that, so save it for the cases that really matter- not when you don't mesh with them well or find them boring.

>>17324603
I've given up on salvaging friendships, I'm just sick of them talking shit about me to others because I don't want to date them.

>>17324616
How do you make it through a date when she's dreadfully boring? Also, how long do I have to stick around for the date to be over, so to speak?

>>17324628
>How do you make it through a date when she's dreadfully boring?
You lead the conversation then. Or find out something about her that she's passionate about or wants to be passionate about, get her to talk about something. Show her something cool. Try to make things interesting and fun. If one topic of conversation doesn't work, try another.

>Also, how long do I have to stick around for the date to be over, so to speak?
Depends what you're doing at the date. If you're out to dinner you finish and go home. If you invited her to dinner and a movie, you do those and go home. If you invited her to an amusement park, whenever's a reasonable time to cap off the evening. Depending on the activity you do get a little leeway.

>>17324644
How about a coffee date? How long do I have to stick around for that?

>>17324571
Rejection always hurts. It basically means "you're not good enough for me". People with ok selfesteem might be able to get over it fairly easily and move on. People with bad selfesteem will react strongly to it. Some of those will react in a way you won't know (selfdestructive behaviour). Others will get fucking butthurt. You can predict that to some extend if you know the person beforehand. My best arvice is to only gt involved with people with somewhat of a foundation if selfesteem. Give yourself enough time to get a basic grasp of who you're dealing with before agreeing on a date. If you already fucked up by agreeing on one with someone with low selfesteem and that you just where too pussy to say no or even led on, it's time for all the "let them down easy" bullcrap. "we can be friends", "i don't see you that way", "there's just no chemistry", "it's not me, it's you", "i don't want anything serious atm", and so on. Also: people who get those phrases often, take note! It's because you have low selfesteem and people rejecting you fear you'd get butthurt af.

>>17324658
The duration of the food/drink, unless you've implied other plans afterwards. What if you stuck to first dates where you're doing something interesting so that even if the company is bad or a stick in the mud you can have some fun and talk about what you're doing to them. Pottery, shooting, cooking classes, walks. Stuff like that.

>>17324668
Why should he waste his and a girls money and time and lead them inby going on a date if he already knows he's not going to pursue her further? I think that's even ruder than calling off a date. It makes no sense

>>17324661
I've run into a few situations where multiple polite rejections lead to me being called a stubborn fucking asshole.

>>17324668
I'm good at reading people quickly, just not over text. I can usually tell whether or not someone is worth my tme within 5 minutes, often less.

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Dear females,

What is your deal with being seen in bra+panties being different than being seen in a bikini? It's literally covering the same areas and often with equally decorated/colored materials.

Have you ever been sexually molested?

>>17324756
Bait? Personally i walk around naked with a metal plug in my bum

>>17324760
Yes my Dad spanked my sister and i bare bottom twice a day with his girlfriend and he would do things

>>17324762
Not bait, but I can see why some would think that. I genuinely don't see the difference.

I tried to think of a clever question, but what I really want to ask is when will I stop being lonely.

I already know the way I am culminates into this state of never having anyone. I don't help myself at all, in fact sometimes I make things hard for myself because idk why.

Then I look on here for some kind of excuse or magic words that will change everything. I'm pathetic. /blog

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>>17324778
Hold on, let me grab my cards and crystal ball

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>>17324796
Thanks anon. I'm going to try it out today. Hopefully it goes well. Was there anything wrong with the sentence I proposed?

>being able to manipulate conversations is the only thing I've got going for me.
Pic related

>>17324756
Connotations, generally.
Personally, I prefer being in skirted one pieces anyway.

>>17324820
Nope, nothing wrong with it, it's good.
For teaching you my ways, the most I can say is practice practice practice. When I was younger I went on omegle and practiced forcing decent conversation out of people who didn't know how to speak. That would be a little harder now since the people there have changed a bit.
>Also a lot of my skill came from growing up with a hair-trigger mother, so I had to know how to craft my words in just the right way to avoid setting her off

One thing I'll say to you that a lot of it is in how you hold yourself and what your expressions are. If you let yourself get loose and smiley and comfortable, people will feel the same way around you. There's not much that you can say that you can't back track out of. If you practice just saying things without worrying too much about how it'll be received, then the quality of your words will improve.

>>17324841
That's a decent answer I suppose, essentially what I had figured. Most girls I know are more concerned with having long tops than skirts though.

I know, I'm overanalyzing this, but hear me out.

So there's this girl. She's not super cute, in fact she can look a little unattractive, but hey I'm not the best looker either. We were lab partners for a semester in physics in a group of three with her best friend. I only joined the group because they needed a third person, I was sitting next to them, and she asked. Anyway, I thought about asking her out for a while since I liked her personality but she never really seemed to take to me too much. So, over the summer, I've seen her on campus twice, both times with her riding in the passengers seat of a car and me walking in the opposite direction. She said hi both times and kept smiling at me and even held a little conversation, long enough to make her friend who was driving stop the car for a little bit. We didn't really talk too much outside of lab during the semester, so would it be weird if I sent her a text and asked if she wanted to hang out some time?

Also, why do I care if it would be weird? Worst case scenario she doesn't respond or thinks I'm a creep or something but I'll probably never see he was again, so why does it matter to me so much?

>>17324889
You're over analyzing it. Call her, a text will seem too impersonal.

>>17324681
He already wasted her time by inviting her out. She cleared her schedule for that duration to be with him for the day and she is present there with him. She's driven out to or gotten a taxi or ride to wherever they've planned to meet up. That's why it's incredibly rude to walk out on a date just because you find someone not up to snuff. Save it for when they're legitimately awful people or making you feel unsafe. Not for when they're boring.

Fellow guys

When you feel really sad, to the point where your chest aches, do you get this very unpleasant feeling the runs all the way down to the tip of your dick?

My chest is aching, and I have this very uncomfortable sensation that like runs through my entire urethra tip of my dick. It's not fun

>>17324921
Can't say that ever happens to me. You might want to check with your doctor about that.

>>17324929

It's not like, painful. But it is uncomfortable. It only happens when I am really sad, like right now

>very distant friend of mine has a smoking hot girlfriend
>he cheats on her like a dumbass
>after some time apart they get back together
>she witholds sex all the time
>he eventually confronts her about it
>she tells him she cant find him physically attractive anymore
>she wants to be with him emotionally but not sexually
>she wants to start fucking other guys
>he agrees to this
>shes way out of his league, he has barely any sex drive anyway and they still act like best friends anyways
>he messages me on Firday night
>asks if its cool if he gives his gf my number
>thought she already had it but tell him its cool
>she starts texting me and flirting very heavily very quickly
>"im just gonna come out and say it anon, i want to fuck you"
>she says shes ran it by my friend and hes fine with it
>End up fucking her
>hes away to some music festival all weekend
>stayed at hers from friday til this morning *0620 here)
>all we did was fuck and play vidya
>always got on great and it was basically just hanging out but with fucking
>best weekend ive had in a long time
>get text from her at 5am
>Shes texting her boyfriend and told him about the weekend
>hes asked if he can watch

now heres what i need advice on:

a) do i keep doing this? Im not good friends with the guy, we know each other through a friend of a friend of a friend etc. or should i cut it off incase it gets out of hand

b) if i do keep doing this should i let him watch? personally im not all that voyeuristic but ive oddly enough fucked with other people watching before and it didnt bother me. My concern with this one is more along the lines of should i be worried about how he might react to watching me plough his gf. Shes dirty as fuck and loves swallowing my cum, something hes openly admitted shed never done for him and weirdly it has me worried that if he sees her being like that with me he'll flip out

>>17324969
Make sure all three of you are alright with it first. You need full transparency here. Like all three of you need to sit down and talk about what you're getting into. Worst comes to worst, you lose a distant friend and some great pussy.

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Me and my girlfriend were talking about fantasies, and she mentioned that one of hers was being an escort in the window of a regulated red light district. She catches my eye and we fuck.

I keep flip-flopping between being turned on by her being open and promiscuous, and horrified and insecure about a fantasy of hers being about being with a lot of people. It makes me scared that she wants to show off, be desired by, and have sex with a lot of different men. She does say the fantasy ends with "closing up shop" due to wanting to only be with me, but it's fucking with my head since I frequently get down on myself and worry that I'm not enough for her.

It's basically my own fault and insecurity, and I want to change my thinking here. I get that a fantasy is not reality, but I keep drawing a line between the two. Has anyone, guy or girl, had experience with fantasies like these? How do you keep things straight?

>>17324921
I think it might just be a unique way that you physically conceptualize sadness. I think I knew what you mean, but I feel it in a different way. For me, sadness is in the depths of my chest, while also wrapping around the dome of my head like a too-tight beanie cap.

/inexperienced/ here. Stayed over at my gf's pad, ended up giving her 3 orgasms just fingering. Is it more likely i'm just a natural, she's easy to please, or she's faking?

Would you fake an orgasm if your bf hadn't had a lot of experien le sexually?

>>17325054
Guy here. Me and my girlfriend are very honest about what's pleasing, especially her, so I've never worried about her faking. I'm pretty damn good at making her orgasm with fingering. Some of it is a natural talent of being attuned to someone's bodily reactions, some of it is her unique body easily/not easily reaching orgasm when stimulated manually, and some of it is practice.

I say

a. Talk to her and mention that you want honesty with regards to what does/doesn't stimulate her. Faking isn't appreciated and cheats you both out of a nice experience. It's one thing to be tactful in instructing someone in what pleases you, it's another to mislead them.

b. Pat yourself on the back for seemingly doing well despite being inexperienced

c. Continue to learn, experiment, and enjoy each other

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>>17325063
I'm bored and a little drunk. Here's some how-tos on how to each that bitch out

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>>17325054
>>17325063
>>17325083
Anotha one

>>17324998
As a dude in a similarly promiscuous relationship, I just logic it out.
You guys love each other, right? So you'd wanna ensure each other's happiness, yeah? You shouldn't draw contentment from your own pleasure, but from theirs through yours, and visa versa. Therefore promiscuity guarantees mutual happiness through the promise of returning to each other, and in the circumstance that that isn't the case, one of you has obviously dropped the ball somewhere along the line. And of course this requires hella communication, but that shold be a given anyway!

What the fuck kind of condoms should I buy?

>>17325108
How big's your wee wee? There are sizing charts online. It might take a little searching to find the correct fit.

>>17325110
I don't know, average? Like six hard?

>>17325113
Look up the sizing charts online and use them.

Whats a good excuse not to hangout with a guy?

>guy told me he wanted to ask me out in the past
>told him i WAS romantically interested in him too
>thinks that means i still do
>cause he still does
>dont want to hurt his feels
>so roll with it
>make excuse that im moving in august though
>says ok
>start texting again
>asks me to hang out
>obviously a date

How do i tell him i dont want to "hang out" without hurting his feelings.

>>17324567
females
there is a girl i have a crush on her in my class in collage since the semester ended i have thinking about. i want to at least add her on Facebook to chat. but the problem is a while ago i sent her a massge because she said she was going to help me on my assignment but she didn't respond. the next day i joked about how she made wait she said she didn't get any massage she even showed me her phone.

the problem is i am not sure if she thinks i am annoying and just ignored the massage request or if she said the truth.

i know this is a retarded

>>17324756
Connotations. Lingerie is something private, and if you are me wearing it, you're probably going to see me naked. Bikini isn't - it's something I wear in public, that I buy and choose to see in public.

When I tell you girls "im not ready. I need more time. My feelings aren't strong as yours. Give me space." And then I also don't want to talk to them sometimes and feeling bored. What does that say about me?

>>17325171
Just telling him straight up. Don't beat around the bush. Worst thing to do is give him a sense of hope that Isn't there.

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>>17325340
you're autistic and an introvert, most likely. or you haven't found a girl that can get your enthusiasm up..

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Hey femanons, is a girl getting absolutely wasted and throwing herself at you a good sign she may like you when sober?

I refused her and put her to bed, and continued drinking with the others. It was kinda uncomfortable desu, but iI was having a good convo with her before the alcohol hit her and we've been snapchatting since that night.

I think the answer is obvious but i just need confirmation or at least some morale boost cuz sometimes i can be quite stupid.

>>17325355
>is a girl getting absolutely wasted and throwing herself at you a good sign she may like you when sober?
Of course not.

And don't expect a reward or pat on the back for not taking advantage of her either.

I recently started texting an old friend, and it seemed cool at first. I was getting kinda flirty, but she ended up telling me that she had a boyfriend. I sent her a text after, wishing them luck and getting embarrassed, and we stopped texting (like a week ago) after. Girls, should I try to talk to her again? I don't want to lose an old friend, but I don't really want to embarrass myself either

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>>17325475
no, let it rest

>>17325475
Text her again if you're okay with just being friends. If not, then don't waste both of your time.

Girls
How often do you take the initiative? As in asking a guy out for the first time etc.

>>17325508
Asking a guy out, never. I've been told it's off-putting and unfeminine, and anyway not really needed because if someone wants me, they ask me out or they're not really worth dating.
I do initiate flirting, and start making things more physical if I want someone. I text first without problems.
If I'm in a relationship, I take a lot of initiative, both in everyday life and in bed.

How can I make up for something in a LDR? It's not anything terrible like lying, cheating or stuff like that.

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>>17325508
i have been the one suggesting to go grab a coffe or what not pretty much everytime i got with a guy. maily becuase i like to cut the bullshit and get to the point. i wouldn't cod approach a guy though. that shit is creepy and unnecessary. no matter the gender...

To anyone: I may be inexperienced but I want to be responsible. I just started having sex and me and my boyfriend are going the whole mile. We're comfortable talking about protection and using condoms even though they kinda suck

The thing is, even if I think we did everything correctly, how can I tell if I'm pregnant? I'm really scared about this guys. I plan to soon get a birth control injection when I set up the appointment someday soon. But until then, condoms. Can I get pregnant if he cums in one comdom, takes it off, puts on another, and then we keep going? We changed condoms like four times and he came a total of two times. Might I have gotten in contact with his semen?

>>17325563
Depends on how sloppy he was changing condoms I suppose. If he had semen on his hands changing condom and got some in or around you, then it's possible you could have gotten pregnant, but the chances are extremely unlikely.

Guys, what are your reasons to drop contact drastically, out of the blue with a girl you've been dating for a while?

>>17325530
Pls respond

Cute girl on tinder
Eng lit student

Likes music dogs films and books
Seems like a "sweeter" girl from her pictures (More pub and chill than club and thrill), could just be making an assumption but thats the vibe

Think she matched me because My bio mentions I wanna go live in the mountains with a bunch if dogs, and Ive got a pic with my beagle

Her 2nd pic has her with a labrador

Good opener ideas? Im kinda stuck

Was thinking just something simple like

>Is the labrador in your pictures yours? They're gorgegous/cute/. They're great dogs

Any ideas? Trying to avoid generic "hey" and trying to make it personal and interest relevant

Comin up with lines is hard work

>>17325530
What did you do? What does your partner like?

>>17325575
Thank you. I watched him replace the condoms. He looked like an expert, seeing as he'd slept with 2 people and he is my first person inside me.

Thank you for reassuring me

>>17325516

>I've been told

By whom?

>>17325638
The only guy I've ever asked out - We went on a couple of dates and he later told me that at the beginning he found that pretty off-putting and not feminine.

>>17325642
It's really an old fashioned point of view in my opinion, but who am I to judge?

>>17325633
I tend to forget asking about stuff, a few days ago he went to see a movie and I didn't ask what he thought of it, he also asked me to send some pictures and I didn't do it.
He felt bad about it and I apologised, I tend to be okay with whatever people tell me and don't ask "obvious" questions (for example, for quite some time I'd ask if he had too much work and how it went, without knowing/asking what his job was), and he's the opposite, he rarely forgets stuff and he always likes asking.

Anyway, on top of that we're also different the way we deal with these things, for me in general an apology is enough, while for him words are not enough, and I have no clue what to do to "make up" for making him feel bad or like I'm uninterested. I thought of visiting him right away, but I cannot do it (it would take too much time, my bugdet isn't unlimited, and I'm visiting my parents right now).

How exactly does one broadcast/advertise/publicize as single?

Should I paint some text on a blank shirt that says 'Single' or 'Still Single!' or some shit?

It's not like I can wave around my penis or some shit, well I could in a nudist beach when I get the chance.

>>17325664
Well, in my opinion he's being pretty immature and he should understand that you are like that. You can make some effort (write down a note about questions you'd like to ask him, or about things to send him), but he should be more understanding.
I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I still have to ask him once every couple of months when is his birthday because I keep forgetting...

Is there something he mentioned that he likes? Maybe buy something on amazon and have it delivered to him.

>>17325674
Why would you need to do that? It's best to date someone from your social curcle anyways and if you are single, people know or can ask mutual friends.

>>17325678
>It's best to date someone from your social curcle anyways

This is rape, because magic.

>>17325690
>u wot m8

It's the only way that will work reliably

>>17325203
If you aren't friends with someone on facebook, and send them a message, it automatically gets filtered to a spam inbox that virtually nobody checks. She's being truthful.

>>17325677
He's visiting his parents too and I don't know the address.
Though personally I think presents shouldn't be used to make up... so I'm trying to think of a gesture that shows that I care and I don't do things like that with any bad intention.

>>17325719
It's hard to make gestures to someone who isn't next to you. LDR rely on communication, if he doesn't accept your apologies over something so small and silly there's very little you can do.

Guys: Do guys really like the chase?

When I make myself available for my boyfriend he seems less interested in spending time with me. When he calls and I'm busy/out he starts texting me more and seems to miss me. What gives. I don't like playing the chasing/I'm not interested game. But it has proven results in my case.

>>17325678
>having a social circle

o i m laffin

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females of this thread; would you date a guy who is 6'2 and has a handsome face but he [spoiler] has autism [/spoiler] ?

>>17324756
It's culturally/socially different. And personally, I wear cute but practical swimwear (bathing suit with polkadots) and almost all of my lingerie is at least partially sheer.
But even if you wear more practical underwear, it is intimate to see what someone looks like when they undress, whereas bathing clothes are choosen with the knowledge that random people are going to see it. That makes it less private.

>>17325763
Most likely, nope. Emotional and mental connection is more important than looks anyway.

>>17325763
Depends on the extent of the autism. My friend is an aspie and is socially incompetent so I would probably not date someone that far on the spectrum.

>>17324998
I don't think this is really that different from a guy's fantasie of having a harem full of women. The director of Jeune et Jolie (a French film about a young girl addicted to selling her body to older men) caught a lot of flack for saying something like prostituting themselves being the ultimate fantasy of all women.

Now, I am a woman and this is far from a big fantasy of mine, but I do get what he means. A lot of female fantasies evolve around being desired in a passive way: whether that means that you're being raped, or a guy is going crazy over just your naked body, or fantasizing about men masturbating to you or ogling you. In different forms it all boils down to passively being desired.

Money is the most basic symbol of value. This is why people tend to get so angry about someone doing a similar job earning more, and why even couples who are rich and/or usually care little about money can cut each other's throat over it when they divorce. It means recognition, acknowledgement, value. We don't use the phrase how much a certain person "earns" for nothing.
So putting a price on yourself, being able to bargain hard cash for something that women give away for free everywhere and every day, is a powerful psychological confirmation that you are prized, you are desired, you are of value. It also has a power dynamic: someone wants you so badly that they will become a customer for something they could get for free with someone else.

And then there's the aspect of it being naughty and taboo to sell your body, and the exhibitionism of displaying your body for all to see, there's something both provocative and vulnerable about that. And just excitement.

Basically, I hope you still read this, but I think she enjoys this fantasy the way most people enjoy most fantasies: because it combines/taps into psychological desires that are not at all limited to that specific scenario. And that in a much more extreme, thorough fashion than she'd want in real life.

>>17325763
>has autism
Is it self diagnosed?

>>17325054
I'd vouch for easy to please. There is not as much of an expectation on women to cum from fingering as opposed to sex, and if she wanted to get it over with (another possible reason to fake) why go through it three times and not just tell you she'd had her share/is too sensitive and wants to move to another sex act?

The whole female orgasm being difficult to crack is a stereotype for good reasons, but not all women are like that at all. I've even sometimes heard complains about the woman climaxing so quickly (and not wanting another) that the man is left unsatisfied. And virtually all women enjoy some form of clitoral stimulation, whereas how much you get out of penetration is more diverse, ranging from better than any other sensation to numb and boring.

>>17325340
That you're in touch with your feeling and not easily impressed with people.

>>17325355
Hard to say. If she's the type who loves casual flings, it could be that her drunk mind just found you more attractive than her sober mind. But it could also be inhibitions being lowered and a reflection of her normal feelings. It's never a bad sign but nothing to go by.

The fact that you were talking nicely and she's snapchatting you now is another good sign, though. Nothing definite, but promising.

>>17325748

Let me ask you this

How often do you think about your boyfriend? When you're not preoccupied with stuff, how much is he on your mind?

With us guys, and I can't say it for everyone, but with us - once we get a small taste of attraction from you, we make you run laps in our heads. I cannot help but create the negative thoughts that like you're off somewhere with some other guy, regardless of how much trust is built between us. It's a natural thing. I cannot help but imagine every possible word and exchange between us, and the flowcharts of interaction leading to different experiences and outcomes, either. I love thinking about how our lives intertwine and what we can get from one another. Us men get off to figuring you out.

When you don't show signs of communication (someone women have a biological advantage on), it says to us that you don't think about us as often. And you don't, which is good and psychologically beneficial. Otherwise if women only thought of their ONE single guy all the time, the human population would be much lower than it currently is. Our brains are just more inclined to "obsess".

That being said, the aspect of time plays heavily into this. Different people have different expectencies of when to re-communicate or when they think of the other. A girl could span out the love and affection from one guy over the course of a week and still not message him, for example.

>>17325563
When you use a condom, get it out of the package and hold it up to a lamp/other light source to check for any tears either already present or done by your/his nails. Most of the failure rate with condoms is because of this.

Otherwise, you can use spermicide on the condoms to get the chance of pregnancy down to almost zero. One downside of this is that it tastes nasty, so no eating out afterwards (though condoms generally don't help your taste).

As for the condoms changing, what the other person says is right.

>>17325626
>fuck yes
>dog people unite
[assuming she agrees/"laughs"]
>don't you think dogs get too little love with the whole internet cat craze?

Then you can talk breeds, favorite memories, and try to naturally steer the conversation towards another topic. (Eg if she mentions a sibling, jump on that, ask her how many she has and how she feels about being the eldest/youngest/middle child/only child, how she looks at the stereotypes existing about that... quick way to go deeper than chit chat.)

>>17325826
Haha, even when preoccupied with stuff he's still on my mind all the time. I actually hold back sometimes on texting him because I want to give him his space.

Maybe my boyfriend and I are reversed; he seems to have less interest in me than I do, and I worry that he's off with some other girl, think about every possible conversation outcome in my head, etc.

>>17325837
Men lose "status" when they seem needy and text you a lot. Men want to appear manly, independent, carefree, Alpha - texting you a lot is the opposite of that, caring about you and thinking all possible negatives is the opposite. It is tendency to maintain discipline and not text you a lot in order to maintain status. We have to show restraint.

Whereas you can blow up my phone anytime and any single message means a lot, since your status/role is more about affection and care for others.

I'm a 24 year old and I've only been in 1 relationship (17 - 20, spent past couple years chasing oneitis and being emotionally disabled when it didn't work out). Should I force myself to get a girlfriend? Will I look like a weirdo in the future if I don't?

I got a phone interview with a company. They provided me with dates and times. I asked for today at 10. They said they could not do it and then I scheduled it for tomorrow at 10.

I work tomorrow, but I know it will not be busy. My boss will probably not visit me. There are some hard-asses who keep an eye on me.

Should I warn my boss that I will be on the phone for an hour, possibly losing an hour of pay, just closed up shop without telling him, or recorrect my email for Thursday (I'm packing to head for a vacation)?

So it's do it tomorrow be tense about work or do it Thursday and be tense about packing.

>>17325898
Yes

>>17325898
I was in a relationship when I was 18-19, single until age 22. I'm in a relationship now because I met someone I like, otherwise I could have gone single for many years. I think being in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship is quite stupid.

>>17325923
If I were you I'd not say anything in advance and play it off as something unexpected if he finds out. As long as you willingly fess up that it took a whole hour, he will probably not doubt you.

I do think that packing seems like a much less stressful context to have this conversation in, but personally I wouldn't like to reschedule the day beforehand, just at the off chance that someone finds it flaky or inconsiderate.

>>17325932
Alright, sounds good.

I doubt anyone will complain about me not doing work, but if they do say that the company mixed up the days.

Thanks anon.

>>17325923
Reschedule. Looking for another job on company time is sure as shit gonna get you fired, and if you're serious about this other job you want to do your absolute best on the interview, so worrying about someone crashing it is not good.

Rescheduling looks bad, but bombing the interview (and maybe losing your job) because your boss or whatever walks into your office is worse.

>>17325987
I actually have to. Some just took that time slot. So I asked for Thursday, it will probably be less stressful.

It's kindof shitty. They asked me for an interview, I replied later that day. They asked me for a different day. I replied a couple of hours later. They asked me to rescheduled again, just now.
How busy are they?

>>17325799
Omagad somebody smart on 4chan.

My girlfriends female best friend added me on fb (I've never met the best friend). My gf kept telling meto add her best friend for the past 6 months but I said if she wants to she can add me. Why did she want to add me?

>>17324567
Ladies, if I came on a bit too strong and scared her away, can I repair it?

I recently got dumped and am in the NC period, but I'm wondering if this is the right thing? LDR if that changes anything. Haven't been dating long either, but I really like the girl.

>>17324998
I can see why you feel uncomfortable. Luckily, you don't have to do her fantasy. So it doesn't matter.

>>17325799
Thanks anon. It's something to think about. I didn't sleep well so I'm trying to process it all still. Maybe give me a few minutes if you're still here

>>17326011
I want to try and understand her though. At least try before I ruin her fun

>>17326028
We're all kinda fucked up. most people have weird habits or fantasies, not only sexual ones. I think you should be happy to have a good enough communication with your gf to know that much about her.

>>17325826
I'd say you're oversimplifying things. That's not a male specific trait, to obsess and be paranoid. I wouldn't even say most men are like that.
It's some insight on how some that femanon's boyfriend might be feeling, since he sounds similar. You hesitate to generalize women, but you really shouldn't speak for all men either.

>>17326028
>At least try before I ruin her fun

But how are you going to try that? What pimp is going to be like "So your girlfriend wants to pretend to be an escort, but only be bought by you. Yeah, man we can fit that in."

I advise you not to. My boyfriend has a diaper fetish. He eventually begged me to try it, but I didn't like it. I have done it a few times, and every time I do I feel worse about it. I wish he just kept it to himself.
I wouldn't mind knowing about it, but having to participate makes me feel humiliated and gross.

Now, whenever he wants to be put in a diaper during foreplay I feel he doesn't want me, he wants the diaper. It doesn't help that he has a low libido. Is kindof sad that half the time when I flaunt my body, he doesn't get up, but if I gave him a diaper, he does.

Lastly, I see children in nappies and get nervous. It's not fun.

Leave fantasies as fantasies.

What does a 5/10 guy with no career prospects do should I just kill myself because no woman will ever want me?

>>17326028
Anon. Don't be an idiot. She doesn't literally want to be a prostitute. It's a fantasy. She wants to roleplay in the bedroom with you.

Difference between nice and nice?

>>17326035
I'm glad she trusted me enough to tell me. We communicate a lot, but I'm having a hard time finding a way to communicate my discomfort with this in a way that doesn't make it seem like an attack on her sexual preference.

>>17326052
Oh we're not going to do it for real. The farthest we'd go is roleplay. All of this is roleplay. I even have fun in the moment. But it's still getting me upset afterward.

>Now, whenever he wants to be put in a diaper during foreplay I feel he doesn't want me, he wants the diaper.
I'm doing through something similar to this. Just with...less diapers. I'm worried she wants the dom me, not the real me.

>Is kindof sad that half the time when I flaunt my body, he doesn't get up
I hope he's told you this himself anon, but erect penis =/= not aroused or not attracted to you. There were plenty of times that I was so attracted and turned on but didn't have a hard-on. I'm sure he loves you and thinks you're beautiful. Talk to him about that. You can be hungry without your mouth watering, you know?

>>17326071
I know! We were discussing roleplay fantasies. But this one just keeps making me uncomfortable and I want to try and change that.

>>17326061
There will always be woman who wants you; it's just that they are the ones you don't want.
>>17326075
Nice is a city in France; recently, in Nice, Iceland won against England on the Eurocup.
On the other hand nice is an adjective indicating friendlyness or pleasing.

>>17326082
>I'm worried she wants the dom me, not the real me.

Exactly how I feel. Kinks and fetishes are fine here and there, but most of the time I feel "He doesn't want me. He wants this, that, and the other thing."

>>17326082
>I hope he's told you this himself anon

I have told him this before. I know he thinks that I'm goodlooking, because I am. It just makes that unwanted feeling worse.

>>17326075
Nice means the person fines the thing, whatever it is, pleasing and enjoyable.

Nice means the person has nothing else to say, but doesn't want to say "ok"

>>17326092
So is there a difference between a nice person and a nice guy?

>having opinions automatically makes you an asshole

>>17326092
>Exactly how I feel. Kinks and fetishes are fine here and there, but most of the time I feel "He doesn't want me. He wants this, that, and the other thing."
Glad I'm not alone in this feeling. For her, these roleplays are things that can be easily stepped in and out of on the fly. To me, they're big costumes that I have to mentally prepare for and step into slowly. Then I have to peel them off without hurting myself and put them back in the closet where they're to stay until next time. At least that's how I feel.

I think you and I both need to address that with our partners and find a middle ground?

>I have told him this before. I know he thinks that I'm goodlooking, because I am. It just makes that unwanted feeling worse.
Maybe you can suggest to him that you would appreciate a little more appreciation? Whether I'm hard or not, I love cuddling or complimenting my girlfriend's looks

a guy i'm seeing half jokingly told me to gain weight. how should i feel? i laughed in his face. i'd rather look skinny and have tiny boobs and ass than look in the mirror and be disgusted.

>>17326112
I've got a slight weight gain fetish, but my girlfriend is pretty skinny. I still think she's super attractive and I wouldn't want her to change a thing. I think you might need to unpack what he wants a bit, or at least tell him that you enjoy your body the way it is. Is it a fetish of his? Does he just mean it as a sexy idea? Are you sure he didn't completely mean it as a joke? If it's bothering you, it would be good to bring it up. If he doesn't accept that or accept the way you are, that's a little messed up.

>>17326112
What's your BMI?

>>17326101
A nice person is someone I can have a decent conversation with. They have their morals in check. They would not hurt me in most situations.

A nice guy is a man I can talk to without him trying to get me into bed.

I don't know your situation, but do you know how annoy it is when you are finally connecting to heterosexual man, another human being, then he says someshit like "'Want to come back to my place?" or "May I kiss you?"

No dicknuts, I thought we were having a nice platonic conversation. I thought we were connecting. I thought I was going to make a neat male friend with no sexual strings attached.

I guess he just wants some game.

>>17326107
>To me, they're big costumes that I have to mentally prepare for and step into slowly.

My god, I feel this too. If he tells me he wants to do diaper things ahead of time, that's all I can think about until it happens. When it's on the fly, it turns me off, because it would be all I think about for the whole love making session.

>I think you and I both need to address that with our partners and find a middle ground?

I'm scared of that. I feel whenever I talk to him about it, I just hurt his feelings. He usually needs up crying. I understand he likes it, but I still do not like it.

>Whether I'm hard or not, I love cuddling or complimenting my girlfriend's looks

He does that. I just prefer forking to spooning.

>>17326126
17.8
not sure if i got my height right

Guys, would you take your wife's last name if she had professional reasons to keep hers and you didn't?

>>17326138
Fuck no. Don't let her take yours and don't take hers. That is so fucking silly.

>>17326138
Don't take any names. Keep your's.

Give the kids the more interesting or prominent last name.

>>17326127
>I'm scared of that. I feel whenever I talk to him about it, I just hurt his feelings. He usually needs up crying. I understand he likes it, but I still do not like it.
I'm not trying to insinuate that it's your fault that he cries or gets upset, because it's not, but maybe there's something more here? Ultimately you have to look out for your comfort and interests here, and as your partner he should want that too. BUT: maybe there's a way to tackle this without those hurt feelings? Does he cry because the diaper stuff means THAT much to him, or does he maybe think you're rejecting him as a whole? (I'm not saying you are doing that, but sometimes things get mixed up in people's heads)

Is there a way to address that this is making you uncomfortable while also reassuring him that you love him still? I don't know, if I were in this situation, I'd basically want to come at this saying "I know you like this diaper stuff, but I'm giving it my best shot and it's really just giving me trouble. I still love you and want you/us to be happy, but I really don't know if I can do this with my comfort intact. Can we find something that will work for both of us?"

>He does that. I just prefer forking to spooning.
Heh, fair enough. That might just be a difference between you two that you'll have to evaluate how much it bothers you. Maybe you can gain a little sanity by just reassuring yourself that he's not doing it to show any kind of lack of attraction.

>>17325997
Bumping this question

>>17326138
I really like my last name, so I'd kind of want to keep it. I'd consider hyphenating, but that'd make a fuckhuge last name. If my wife had professional reasons like a doctorate or something to keep her last name, I'd just marry her while also keeping our names separate and our own.

>>17326137
Yeah... that's a bit on the underweight side. Probably not to the extent of being unhealthy, as it could just be your natural body type. Are most of the women in your family naturally slim?

>>17325997
Because you're dating her best friend, idiot.

>>17324998
>I keep flip-flopping between being turned on by her being open and promiscuous, and horrified and insecure about a fantasy of hers being about being with a lot of people.

Look up the "Madonna-Whore Complex", aka "A Freak in the Sheets, but a Lady on the Streets." Lots of guys grapple with this conflict.


>>It makes me scared that she wants to show off, be desired by, and have sex with a lot of different men.

This is a perfectly natural and bog standard fantasy for women: having lots of men being attracted to them and making them the focus of attention. They usuallyu take the form of prostitutes, escort, strippers, upper class women with lots of suitors, and harem girls.

It's as standard as a guy wanting to be able to score with lots of different women and having fantasies where he's some kind of stud, has a harem, or is in a threesome.

It is in no way a reflection of you.

>>17326156
yeah my mum is skinny for her age and when she was young she was VERY skinny
also my metabolism is the speed of a bullet train. a month ago i thought to myself "huh i need to lose some weight", literally didn't even change anything about my diet between the space of then and now, and somehow still dropped 3 kilos.

>>17326161
I realize that but I don't understand why she'd add me. No need to be so rude about it.

>>17324778
You will never stop feeling lonely. I've always done so. Even now that i've married a great woman, in the process of raising three awesome kids, having a nice social circle, and friends that i enjoy spending time with. I know I shouldn't feel lonely, but i do, despite not having a rational reason for it. I always thought loneliness would cease, but you just learn to live with it.

>>17325898
>Should I force myself to get a girlfriend? Will I look like a weirdo in the future if I don't?

Don't force yourself to be with someone if you don't want to be.

Being single doesn't make you a weirdo. Not being sociable and spending all your time cooped up in your house makes you a weirdo.

>>17326169
>Madonna-Whore Complex
I know what that is. I'm basically just very angry with myself for suffering from it, you know? I'll look it up, but are you saying that because there are things that might help me get through it?

>It is in no way a reflection of you.
My head believes it, but my heart keeps getting stuck on it. I just feel like "What if my attention/love/looks isn't enough, and this reflects that?"

>>17326149
I believe he thinks I'm rejecting him or find him disgusting. I don't think that, or else we wouldn't be dating.
I only find the diaper thing to be unpleasant and gross.

I will probably talk to him about when he brings it up again.
I mean, I'm totally fine when he is just chilling in them, but when it gets sexual I feel uncomfortable.

I hope your problems with your girlfriend's fetish works out.

>>17325508
I'm pretty straightforward. I don't do the "teehee do u like me??" dance.

I actually met my current boyfriend online. After talking for about a week, I basically said something like "So when are we gonna go on a date?"

He's relatively shy though. I make most of the decisions, and I take more initiative. I don't mind it, and he appreciates it. We both have pretty bad anxiety, so it's better if one of us just speaks up.
He later told me he was afraid that I didn't like him, but I thought it was pretty clear.

We live together now, and I still take initiative. I don't think it's unfeminine. There's nothing unfeminine about a woman who knows what she wants.

Guys and gals. I have recently started seeing this girl, first time in a long while in which I have had sex. She seemed to enjoy it, even wants to hang out more, cancelled another date to be with me. The problem is that I didnt cum, didnt really come close even. I want to put this down to being nervous about performance. Has anyone else had similar problems? Like do you relax after a while with someone? Bare in mind that most of my sexual encounters have been one offs.

>>17325923
Show up for work, then pretend you're sick and take the rest of the day off.

>>17326206
Then not get paid...

>>17326186
>I know what that is. I'm basically just very angry with myself for suffering from it, you know? I'll look it up, but are you saying that because there are things that might help me get through it?

Well understanding that it's a normal feeling helps lots of people get over because they understand it's not THEM. It's a normal feeling.

>>My head believes it, but my heart keeps getting stuck on it. I just feel like "What if my attention/love/looks isn't enough, and this reflects that?"

Then do you really understand that she's not actually looking for someone? Because I don't think you do. You see her fantasy as an actual desire to run off with someone.

You have to understand that you're like a woman who freaks out because her partner masturbates/looked at some porn and she thinks its because she's not sexy enough.

But guys just masturbate and look at porn. It has pretty much nothing to do with how sexy their girl is or isn't. it doesn't mean they want to dump their partner. It's the same deal for women.

It's just something people do/feel, and it's no reflection on you at all. Not really a reflection on them, considering how common a fantasy it is.

>>17326209
Waht country do you live in?

>>17326202
Got hard but didn't cum? Sounds like nerves.

>>17326202
My boyfriend couldn't cum the first few times we had sex. After a couple weeks, he was fine though.

>>17326138
No. My last name is extremely rare. If i had one of the very common ones, I might.

>>17326215
USA

I get paid hourly, no benefits. Its a temporary position.

>>17326138

We had the same last name before we got married.

>>17326217
>>17326218
Thanks, a lot off my mind. I felt like a bit shitty about it.

>>17326221
I'd tell the boss and lose an hour of pay

>>17326193
>I don't think that, or else we wouldn't be dating.
Tell him that, point-blank. It can be really beautiful to hear. He might even need to re-hear it once in a while. Not that you have to constantly massage that issue, but it's nice to once in a while be reassured.

>unpleasant and gross
Just be careful with that too. A little tact is important. I'd just go with "It doesn't make me comfortable/doesn't click for me."

>I mean, I'm totally fine when he is just chilling in them, but when it gets sexual I feel uncomfortable.
Sounds like the foundations of a good compromise.

Glad I could help, hope things work out for you too. I think just working with your problem in my head helped actually. Wishing us both luck. He's lucky to have you if you consider his feelings like this. Make sure you're getting that consideration back!

>>17326214
You're right. I know you're right. I just need to start framing my thinking that way. Thanks for the frank discussion about it. It's not a reflection of me. It's a story she makes up in her head because it scratches an itch, and it doesn't mean she wants something different. Hell, she even wants to include me in that story. She says that she wants to "close up business" because I'm the best for her. My poor self esteem is twisting this into something ugly when it doesn't have to be. I'm what's broken, not her.

>>17326232
>Sounds like the foundations of a good compromise.

We are moving in together in Fall so this might be a good compromise.

I'm glad I "helped"! I didn't really talk about your situation.

Girls: would you be creeped out if a guy simply had a crush on you but never made any moves?

So what's the difference in FWB's and fuckbuddies?

This still confuses me, no matter how hard I try to think about it.

So FWB and fuckbuddy does NOT mean GF/BF, but FWB DOES mean legit friends, right?

Fuck my dysfasia for making shit harder to understand.

>>17326250
i wouldn't even know, so it can't be creepy

>>17326138
Only if the name was cool, but probably not. It's my identity for better or worse.

>>17326244
Aw good luck. There'll be plenty more compromises where that one came from. I was just happy someone else shared my feelings about the "costume" idea.

We got this. Even if it takes a little effort.

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>>17326260
it both means "having commitment problems and getting someones feels hurt down the road".
but basically, FWB's implyes that you can also watch a movie together or do other "friends stuff". Fuckbuddies is more like "hey, i'm horny, come over. k, the uber driver is here, bye".
it both most likely never goes down as planned though.

>>17326141
>Fuck no. Don't let her take yours and don't take hers.

I still don't understand why this is a bad thing, I mean it's not like words have ever caused any naturally occurring disasters or events or some shit.

Jesus mother fucking gogddamn Christ cucking Josef with the Holy Mary, it's JUST a fucking name for fucks sake.

>>17324863
Fuck, I ended up thinking how stupid it was last minute since I was worried she wouldn't remember and aborted. Now I'm banking on tomorrow, or else I'm screwed. I'm sorry, anon.

>>17326262
what if its painfully obvious?

>>17326272
So it's like this:

Dude: "'Hey wanna go for a coffee?'"

Chick: "'Yeah sure that would be cool.'"

Dude: "'Wanna do some oral after this back at my place and then grab lunch?'"

Chick: "'That would be great, I've had a a tough week anyways!'"

>>17326276
well, if i know he has a crush on me because it's obvious there are different scenarios to this. it all boils down to "am i also interested in you". if i am, i would probably seek your company, talk to you, get you to be less shy around me or even make a move on you at some point. otherwise i would just hope you get over it soon.

what do you do that makes it "painfully obvious"?

>>17326289
well, i never had a casual sex realtionship but i think there's no need to say "wanna do some oral..." just say "lets go back to my place later". everyone knows what THAT's supposed to mean

>>17326314
>everyone knows what THAT's supposed to mean

I can't say it. I just fucking can't. it's too stereotypical and cliche.

I'm starting to get a crush on one of my male roommates/friend. What do I do? I don't know if it's a case of 'I see you a lot' but we were friends before and I could legit see a possible future with this guy, we're on the same page about things and I just feel really calm and good around him. yesterday he jokingly wrote me an early Valentine's Day poem and tells his friends about my interesting hobby. Sometimes I can tell if a guy is interested but I don't know with him as we are friends. Lease just started. Should I give it a month and see if I really feel it or?

>>17326325
you can say
>"'Wanna do some oral after this back at my place and then grab lunch?'"
but not
>"lets go back to my place later"
?

wew lad

however, you don't have to use those exact words. ask if they want to come over or watch xyz at your place. whatever works for you

>>17326307
become tense, look away, movements become jerkier, nostrils start going haywire, etc.

>>17326337
>lets go back to my place later

Why is this considered normal and socially accepted?

It sounds repetitive and desperate to me.

Or is 100% honesty much more worse?

>>17326325
>wanna do some oral

That is so bad and cringy , holy god. You're just hooking up not writing her an original poem. Just ask if she wants to go to your place after. This also leaves room for if suddenly one of you doesn't feel it anymore and wants to leave. Less binding than 'wanna do oral' just...so awkward.

>>17325576
Most likely I've wanted to stop seeing her for a while.

>>17325748
Seems like the times when each of you, respectively, is interested aren't lining up.

>>17326061
Make career prospects. I started off this year unemployed and just started working for a Fortune 500 company. Make shit happen.

>>17326138
Not a chance in hell.

>>17326377
see this anon
>>17326381
just because you two are metting up to fuck doesn't mean you have to talk like a porn star

>>17326346
is she single? why don't you make a move?

>>17326381
>>17326386
Excuse me for being an impotent eunuch.

>>17326389
I have no time for her
Anyway, I'm forced to be in the same room as her for three hours a day 5 days a week, so I'll make some effort to get over her if it's bothering her

>>17326394
>impotent eunuch
relax. it's just unusual to use sexual words ouside of the bedroom. it's a bit immature and cringey. don't do it

>>17326275
You've got this. I believe in you. Even if she doesn't remember, it's okay.

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how socially inacceptable is it if i just turn off my phone for a week (assuming i told family/friends/so)?

>>17326481
Why bother turning it off? Keep it on and just ignore anything you get that isn't important.

>>17326488
it's not the same. i just want it out of my life for a week. i do that, but it's still stressing me the fuck out.

>>17326260
FWBs implies that you like each other platonically and sexually, but not romantically. Fuckbuddies implies that you like each other sexually and not beyond that (can be dislike or indifference).

This is then fucked up because people call fuckbuddies friends with benefits to seem coy.

>>17326481
>>17326497
I really get what you mean, anon. I say if you let people know, turn it off and get some peace.

>>17326481
It's not unacceptable at all. What a strange question.

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>>17326508
>>17326510
k, thanks! i was just not sure if it's rude af to just cut everyone out for an entire week.

>>17326517
It might be inconvenient for some people, but I don't necessarily think it's rude. Just make sure people know you're safe etc or that people can reach you if it's some kind of serious commitment or emergency

>>17324998
>She does say the fantasy ends with "closing up shop" due to wanting to only be with me, but it's fucking with my head since I frequently get down on myself and worry that I'm not enough for her.


Think about what you're saying.
Her fantasy actively demonstrates that you're better than any other man, and you take that as a sign that you're not good enough.

It's not even that you catch HER eye in the fantasy and "prove yourself", SHE catches YOURS, YOU'RE the gatekeeper who deems her worthy of your attention. This is an elaborate arc of her winning your heart while you save her from every other man ever. That should be some seriously ego stroking shit and you're managing to let it make you feel insecure.

Does the bee yourself meme works for men too? Or does it work only for women and guys have to be tall fit, handsome, confident and almost perfect in every way?

>>17326658
Welcome to my cripplingly insecure thought processes, anon. The only part of the fantasy that I could focus on was her saying "Luckily I get a lot of attention at my window." I figured that me "winning" in the end was basically just her trying to make me feel better. That's probably the wrong way to go about it

>>17326668
When people say "all you need to do is be yourself!" they mean "Look at who you are, and work to make the best version of it." Don't compromise who you are for the sake of getting companionship, because that person isn't being a companion to you, they're being the companion of the character you've created. Look at yourself and find ways to puff up the good qualities, control/understand/prune out the bad qualities, and always be on the lookout to ADD more good to yourself.

You can still be you, but presentation and maintenance matters

Met a girl online. Had two dates, so and so, I don't really feel any connection, but she's like 9/10 and I'm not actually looking for something in particular at the moment. She really keeps to herself so I kind of ran of subjects to talk about; her poker face couldn't allow me to get into flirting mood, and yesterday, during our last date, I pretty much told her I don't think we can go anywhere. Today she adds me on Facebook (I think texting is better, so I add dates on facebook only if it gets serious). WTF does that mean?

>>17326668
People misunderstand that saying. That you have to "be yourself" doesn't mean that you shouldn't strive to improve yourself and be the best version of yourself. It just means that it's not fruitful to pretend to be someone you're not when you're looking for a meaningful connection.

Look at it with an example of appearance. If you're a slender, lithe guy with an androgynous face, you're never going to get as far with becoming a burly bear of a man than if you try to go for the slick prettyboy look. You have to work with what you have, not forcibly try to attempt to be something you're not.

The mistake that many people make is that they see things too black and white. There are certain qualities that are simply important for connecting with people (like social skills), but they can take different forms. You don't have to be an extrovert who thrives on human interaction to enjoy the occasional little get together with friends. If you feel that aspects are lacking in your life, you can put in work to find a way that suits you to fulfil that need or grow more competent in that area. That is more worthwhile than attempting to bluff or go through the motions of things that you hate.

>>17326463
Thanks anon. I hope it works out. I'll definitely have something to say tomorrow

>>17326706
If she's really that hot she is probably used to guys crawling for her and is intrigued that someone isn't impressed with just her looks.

Although, warning, that doesn't mean she is actually interesting, just that she's not impressed with tryhards like most people aren't.

>>17325171

You have to tell him. Under normal circumstances, it'd be fine to use an excuse, but this is something he's been nursing and you gave him plausible reason to think you're into him. You need to be clear about it.
>I don't think hanging out would be a good idea. I feel like I've given you the wrong impression about how I feel, and I don't want to lead you on. Sorry.

>>17326668
Whether "be yourself" is a good idea depends on who you are and what you're trying to do.
If you're an abrasive jerk and you need people to like you (eg you're a salesman), you shouldn't be yourself.

>>17326717
>warning, that doesn't mean she is actually interesting
This.

>>17325171
>i WAS romantically interested in him
Not related to your question exactly, but could you explain this? Did you find out something about him that you didn't like, or did the attraction just die somehow?

Grills, would you be weirded out by a guy missing one ball? Dick is ok and works fine but yeah.

>>17326758
I'd like a warning before seeing it for myself, but ultimately, whatever. No one's perfect, if the guy's great this would not even be on my radar.

Also, as a Eurofag I would honestly opt for a guy with one ball over a cut guy, but that is of course culturally influenced.

>>17326764
>I'd like a warning before seeing it for myself, but ultimately, whatever.

How would that even work? AYO GURL IM A HALFSACK BTW!

>>17326735
>>17326717
So what would be the best course of action: keep ignoring her, go full jerk and target sex, or just go along with the game hoping it eventually develops into something?

>>17326790
Yeah pretty much. Obviously it should be said at a moment when it's already clear that fooling around will happen, and before she is physically pulling your jeans down. It's all about how you bring it. Be flirty/playful about it.
>I should tell you this now because I don't want you to get a scare for anything other than the obvious reasons, they removed one of my balls for medical reasons/I was born with one testicle

I mean, if you completely expect the guy to have two the first reaction would be at least shock at worst horror, that would effectively ruin the moment and then it's even more awkward to say something about it. The way I see it at least...

>>17326804
If I were you I'd go with this;

>try to internalize that it's probably not going to work out to give less fucks
>chat her up, flirt with her, don't be outright mean but don't pussy around either and don't back down if she doesn't respond positively, basically say things like this is interesting, this is the first time someone added me after I said I didn't see it working out (only if you've already been talking for a while, don't open with that)
>don't initiate any conversation after that and leave it be for at least two weeks if she doesn't either
>then text her relatively late at night asking if she wants to come over and share a drink

Just my guess. If my take on it was right and she mostly likes you because you were disinterested, I doubt trying to "go along" with it will help because you back down on your rejection.
And ignoring her is always an option but not like you've got anything to lose, right?

what are good ways of getting girls to talk to you when you are ugly? what i mean is, when i talk to girls at social events they often try (and do) get away from me, how can i stop that (obviously without violence)?

>>17326808
Oh boy all of this seems kinda awkward. Guess I stay the virgin but just wanted to know if it would be a big deal.

>>17326879
I understand that it comes across that way, but the thing is that it is only awkward if you are not comfortable together. This stuff only comes up when you already know you like each other a lot. By that stage you should be laughing at every attempt at a joke the other one makes, thinking their natural smell is the best thing you ever came across, and constantly wanting to cuddle and look each other in the face. Then it's really no big deal at all to mention it.

If you didn't beforehand I also didn't mean to say it would then be awkward because of only having one, but more because she'll be wondering whether it's insensitive to ask about it and you're wondering whether you can still avoid bringing it up so it could potentially become a thing if you're both too self conscious. That's why I would get it out of the way.

>>17326758

You know who else only had one ball? Hitler.

>>17326879

Who knew, getting completely naked with another person then sticking parts of you inside parts of them can get a bit awkward!

There'll be times where it's awkward whether you have one ball or not, anon, don't sweat it, happens to everyone.

>>17326902
Yeah I know. Was also kinda funny when my brother by chance read up on this some time ago and mentioned to me "can you imagine Hitler had only one ball?".

Was kinda weird because my mom sat at the table with us and neither me nor her said anything. And before you expect some wincest, the whole deal is a doctors fuck up from when I was a little child.

how do i catch up when im so far behind everyone? im 22 and a half and have never had a romantic experience, i dont know what to do whereas everyone else has had years and years of training now

>>17326879
I'm >>17326900 and wanted to add that while I still think this particular message isn't bad at all, I do agree with >>17326910 otherwise. I mean, if you fuck with someone enthusiastically, there's going to be weird sounds from your ball slapping against her and your dick pumping in and out. Sex has its own smell and if you come inside her, your semen is going to leak out.
That's just standard. If you fuck someone regularly over a long period of time, there's almost no avoiding that at some point she's going to queef (make a farting sound with her vagina because of the air that gets pushed in), either of you cannot hold in a fart (potentially during oral sex - now that's awkward), either of you will make an embarrassing noise out of pleasure. Many people make weird faces when they climax. If you're into butt stuff there will be a point where you get shit on your dick/finger/face, and even if you're not, it only takes one instance of sloppy wiping beforehand for you to smell shit when she's in doggystyle position.

So yeah.

>>17326138
Nope. I'll hear her out if she wants to keep her old name for professional reasons but I am not going to change mine for no good reason.

>>17326112
You're underweight if your BMI is 17.8. You're right next to the border between that and healthy, but it's not like he's trying to make you chubby. The fact you think what your weight is supposed to be is disgusting is concerning.

Am I a scumbag for wanting to have sex with a woman for ego purposes?

My gf broke up with me and immediately started sleeping with people. Props on her for not cheating, I guess? Still feels shitty. Anyway, it kind of rubs me the wrong way to try to find casual sex, but now I feel like I have to or else I'll feel like a loser. I don't want to find another gf, and we still have sex, but I can't do it without feeling like a loser unless I also have sex with someone else. She's also encouraged me to sleep with another girl, presumably because she feels bad for me and she knows it sucks.

Idk, does that make me a douche? I want an outside opinion.

Girls:
Does a certain number of emojis you send in a text mean that you consciously or subconsciously want the guy's D?

>>17326995
A girl once send me a bunch of actual smileys. I didn't recognize of them and asked what it kiss. She replied that is obviously a kiss.

I said I'd rather have a real one. She never replied again.

>>17327022
>I didn't recognize of them and asked what it kiss.

Fuck, I meant 'what it is'. Still annoyed by her I guess.

>>17326947
I don't think I'm going to ever have sex at this point but I will keep it mind, thanks.

Why am I always interested when I'm trying to court girls, but when they reciprocate I immediately lose interest.

>>17327037
Either you enjoy the chase but not the person involved, or you are afraid and back out when you have to show yourself and be vulnerable and intimate with someone.

>>17327037
Because you have no self esteem, so you think anyone who would pay attention to you isn't worthwhile

>>17326138

Are you in science?

>>17327057
>>17327053
Both of these make perfect sense to me anons. I'd have to say they match me perfectly.

>>17326668
"Be yourself" is essentially saying "relax and present yourself as you naturally are". A lot of users here (teenagers and young adults I think) believe that putting up a mask is the best way to interact with other people, failing to recognize that they may be perfectly likeable without false pretenses.

>>17327107
Don't say need. Need implies there's an expectation that he has to come and, barring an emergency, that's not really fair to him, particularly if he's got his own stuff going on during the week. Tell him you're not doing so well and it would be really great if you could see him before the weekend. Although that would require you articulate the why of your problem here.

Is it just that you don't get to see him as much as you like since it's a distance thing? Or is there something else going on?

>>17327204
Everyone, except for proper autists, has a mask. Multiple ones actually, you don't function the same way with your mother as you do with your friends or your partner.

>>17327204

That's because most people here seem to be disgusted with themselves and/or the world.

And that's why they think "be yourself" doesn't work at all.

The trick is, actually be/become someone YOU like--someone that is deep down consistent to who YOU are, that you enjoy being, and that you can actually be mildly proud of--and let other people see that side of you.

But them most of them are probably going to whine and complain that's too hard and say that it's impossible.

*shrug*

>>17327221
How is showing different sides of yourself and appealing to a different version of yourself the same as wearing a mask? Or maybe you meant it differently, but to me a mask sounds like a disguise, something insincere. That you are different with your mother than you are with a friend doesn't mean either version is "not really" you.

>>17327221
Social masks (I they, I you, and I thou) and falsely displaying personality traits are different things entirely.

>>17327208

Sorry for the delete, I got nervous.

There's something else going on, it's not just that I want to see him because I'd be happy to wait until the weekend. I've got this sudden realisation that what we have planned, which is very fast approaching, isn't a good idea. I can only get out of the commitment within a certain time frame which happens to be by this week.

My change of heart is actually a result of something he has done, which I don't think he realises. I feel as though I need to be physically with him to discuss this. It is important but I don't want to look like a whiny, overly dramatic bitch and end up making things worse.

>>17327256
So you guys want to marry but then he accidentally stuck it in your pooper?

>>17326993
>Am I a scumbag for wanting to have sex with a woman for ego purposes?

I'm just going to say, sleeping with someone for any other reason than you actually want to, usually ends in god awful shitty sex. It can leave you feeling empty and shitty as all fuck about yourself.

If the only reason you want to is because of external pressures, don't.

>>17326928
>how do i catch up when im so far behind everyone? im 22 and a half and have never had a romantic experience, i dont know what to do whereas everyone else has had years and years of training now

As long as you have that mentality, you'll never go anywhere.

Who gives a fuck.
That should be your mentality.

I say this as someone who had his first romantic experience at 24, threw himself in to the dating world, and has since experienced quite the gamut.

>>17327259
>I say this as someone who had his first romantic experience at 24, threw himself in to the dating world, and has since experienced quite the gamut.

Does this work at 31 aswell?

>>17326993
Not really. Plenty of guys out there are more into the egostroke of getting a woman to sleep with them than the sex itself.

However, I don't think it will magically help your feelings. You need to (obviously a long term goal) stop basing your self worth on something in relation to her. If you go out and have crappy sex with a girl you find a lot less attractive than your ex, I doubt you're going to feel better the next day.

I do think that interaction with other women is good to help you get over her and keep perspective in mind, plenty of fish and what not. But you don't necessarily have to fuck them, honestly after a bad break up even spontaneously noticing girls you find endearing and attractive is a win.

>>17326995
No, it's mostly personal preference how many you use or don't use so it's impossible to gauge whether she's using a lot (for her).

>>17327258

Nowhere near, I'm afraid.

It's not life or death, it's just a life decision I thought I was set on but then I realised something and now I'm having doubts. I want to speak to him, I don't think I'll convey myself properly through text and I don't think it'll help me make my mind up either way, so physically seeing him makes more sense.

>>17326005
Anyone?

>>17327256
>My change of heart is actually a result of something he has done, which I don't think he realises. I feel as though I need to be physically with him to discuss this.

That's a good instinct. Big things should be handled in person. Just tell him there's a problem and it's something you need to discuss with him face to face. If he can't come to you, offer to go to him. If nothing else, at least call him and discuss your issues over the phone instead of texts or something.

Girls that date guys less attractive than them?
Why?

>>17327298

Thank you. I can convey myself better when I'm making eye contact with somebody. I can read their reaction and I'm hoping it will help them see how I'm feeling as well, rather than risking a misunderstanding via text which could make things worse. I was going to offer to travel to him anyway, so the fact I'm happy to do this should suggest how important it is to me.

I'm also going to sleep on it, just on the off chance that it's all in my head and I'm being unreasonable.

>>17327297
Needs more detail. Why exactly did she dump you and how long were you together?

>>17327307
Attractiveness is in more than appearance, it's the total package.

For everyone:

Why do you need a gf/bf? Yes, i'm asking this unironically. What are the needs your bf/gf is fullfilling for you?

I've reached a point where i finally met my perfect 10/10 but at the same i don't see any benefits a relationship would bring me.

Girls: Why do you want to be in the work force so badly?

>>17327333
Biology. Hormones.

>>17327334
Because I like working. It is one of the things that makes me want to get up every day. I like making my own money and not having to ask anyone for help. I like being responsible for myself.

>>17327333
I've been in a relationship for most of my adult life, 21-30. I've been single for the past two years. I'm actually quite an independent and self fulfilled person, which was one of my ex's biggest complaints. I didn't always need to watch a movie every night, my hobbies were personal and fulfilling and solitary, I could party on my own and she was like an accessory. Being single, I do enjoy sex with randoms but I find that sex with deep feelings is way better. I miss getting that on a regular basis, but also having sex with someone for the first time when you're infatuated is also amazing. Security is also great. Companionship is great too. I think the thing I miss the most might be cuddling in the early morning and late at night.

>>17327347
I take it you work as a receptionist, or something neato. girls want 50% of the cool jobs, I'd like to see girls protesting for 50% of waste and sewage jobs

>>17327333
I don't need a boyfriend. I do want one, but I do well on my own.
My boyfriend is exceptional - he is my best friend, and the person I have more fun with; he is the one who helps me figure shit out and I'm much stronger with him; we are more efficient together because we take good care of each other.
Other than the obvious stuff like fucking and companionship, which feels great.

>>17327333
I don't.

>>17327333
As for concrete needs... Sex (sex with someone you don't love is terrible). Thorough tenderness that would be awkward with friends - holding hands and stroking fingers, breathing on each other's face smiling, you get the idea. Being someone's number one: knowing that they think of you when something exciting or bad happens to them and the other way around. The prospect of starting a family. Thoroughly loving someone, taking care of him, nurturing him, pleasing him. For someone who knows me really, really well to be able to tell me when/in which regards I need to step it up. Having someone who motivates me to impress him and show my best side, to become a better person.

As for the bigger picture, having a witness in life. Having someone care about your petty little worries and minor joys. Sharing in the most intimate way in the life of someone else with all its aspects: childhood worries, family drama, attempts at friendship, lost dreams, newly acquired dreams. Personal growth.

>>17327333
To not be lonely, to gain a potential lifelong partner, your other half.

>>17327356
I work as a doctor. I did shitty jobs to pay for school, worked since I was 17 - cleaned toilets and worked as a nurse for a old lady.

I don't see women protesting to work any kind of job, anywhere. I think women are almost half of the working force everywhere on earth. Women and men do different types of jobs and are paid according to what they do.
Do you honestly think someone wants to work a shitty job? Why should anyone, male or female, be actively trying to do a awful job?

>>17327404
waste/sewage shitty? Sorry for the awful pun, but here in canada the benefits are wonderful and the pay is well worth while. It's just not "cool" women would rather make organize seating arrangements for a fortune 500 company

>>17327317
Sorry, I'm still new to posting on 4chan even though I've been lurking forever. We'd been going out for a month or so, been on one date so far and a couple of skype dates. It's kinda hard to say how long since the relationship just kinda happened without declaring it?

For the dumping I guess I'm clueless on it. Basically final exams hit and we chatted only sparsely for 2 weeks, at the end of the 2 weeks, she came up and said she didn't want an LDR, and that she didn't want to do it during her first year of uni. Something about time and finance commitment being too much. I ended up bringing it up with her a little bit later and she just said the "feelings faded", which confused me since now I don't know which one to believe.

Now that I'm typing all this out it's kinda starting to make more sense to me, since I guess maybe she just wasn't ready, but the second part about feelings faded really threw me off.

>>17327429
Cleaned someone's butt for 6 years. Quite literally shitty.
If women want to do that why do you care? Do whatever you want, let women do whatever they want, stop getting pussy over bullshit.

>>17324567
Girls: would you give a single father a chance, or would you pass over automatically.

>>17327439
No problem.
That's a shit situation, but I wouldn't recommend giving it another try. It's only been a month and she gave you some quite reasonable objections. Even for a couple that's madly in love, LDR is a big test for the relationship. If she already had doubts strong enough to break it off now, I definitely would not pursue her further.

There's no way to know it for sure, but I think everything she said was sincere. It's possible that she stuck to the less personal parts to spare your feelings, and when you returned to it figured she should go all out since she didn't want to lead you on or leave you with the idea that everything would've worked out perfectly if only you were closer together.
It's also possible that she broke up for those reasons and reflecting on it a bit more with some space after already having made the decision, she realized that she was not that crazy about you to begin with and otherwise she would've taken the chance.
You were also dating for such a short time, that developing feelings could've been killed in the bud because she was fretting over your future together and the unpleasant idea of having to attempt LDR, which made her snap out of it.

It doesn't make any of it any better, but I don't see how any of this means that you came on too strongly. I think this has way more to do with her and her living situation than with your part.

>>17327456
I don't know. Depends on how great he is.
I wouldn't want to be a mother for someone else's child. I wouldn't want to be eternally second.
Maybe I would be fine with it if he was truly a 10/10 or if I had kids myself.
In general, no.

>>17327440
So you did nursing then you worked on your PHD? What are you 62?

>>17327466
Fair answer. Thanks.

Why are women such asses

>>17327456
I'm only twenty three with little relationship experience (exactly one relationship), I'm not ready for that type of commitment. But I'm not opposed to the idea of dating someone with one (or more, I think..) children down the line.

The most pressing issue to me would be the role of step mother. It's a lot of compromising, a lot of investment, and often entirely ungrateful. You have to accept that you take the back seat when it comes to raising the child, even though you put in as much of your time, energy and patience. You have to accept that the child might never see you as a parent, despite you doing a parent's work. This is ignoring what the situation with your ex is like, which could range from no issue at all to being a whole other ton of drama and worrying.
This is the way it should be because it's the only way that it's fair to the kid, but it's a rough deal and be aware of that.

>>17327475
*have

>>17327468
I don't live in the US. Here you need to study for 6 years to become a doctor.
I had classes in the morning, studied/labs /other classes in the afternoon and I slept at this woman's house while taking care of her, cooking for her, bathing her, etc.
Pays well, like 80€/day.
I am 26.

>>17327462
Eh, you might be right. I guess for me since I'm in grad school anyways, the whole uni timing doesn't bother me as much. I guess the reason I'm still so bothered is how hard I got blindsided by it. I'm not gonna say I'm smitten, but I really thought that this one worked wonderfully.

Right now I'm giving it some no contact time, both to think about it myself, and to give her some space. I figure at the end of it I'll have been able to think it through enough to make an informed choice on whether I want to try again or not.

Do you think it's totally hopeless if I tried again later? We share a lot of mutual friends, so no matter what happens she won't exit my life, even if I wanted her to. (We all play games online together, normally anyways)

>>17327486
>26
That is about what it is here to get a phd. He probably thought you meant full time nursing and then after 5-10 years went back to school. (Nurses are known to have long and messed up hours here.

>>17327287

Sure, but I'll add that once you're starting to hit your late 20's/early 30's, you better be chill and self-confident as fuck--because you're expected to have enough general life experience under your belt to not act like a child.

>>17327333
>For everyone:
>Why do you need a gf/bf? Yes, i'm asking this unironically. What are the needs your bf/gf is fullfilling for you?

Don't need one. But I'm happy to have one, and I'm glad to share my time with her, because really, almost thing I can do and enjoy, I can probably have a better time if she's there too.

She doesn't replace or fill anything, she just makes most everything that's already there, kind of better.

>>17327489
You should do whatever you want, if you feel that strongly about her chances are you'll regret it if you don't give it a shot anyway. But I wouldn't, and if anything I'd wait until you see her in person again and gauge how she feels then, not reach out to her.

For me it's mostly the combination of the short time you were together and that she seems to have broken it off confidently that make it seem fairly grim. But well, totally hopeless is a lot, especially to say about a girl I don't even know, so I wouldn't go there. Just that it looks like it would be against the odds if she was interested anyway, but that's not unheard of, unlikely things happen. Good luck either way.

>>17327493
No, no - I just took care of her during the night, 8 PM to 8 AM. Managed to sleep most of my shift, just had to get up if she needed to go to the bathroom and change her before going to classes. Prepared breakfast and dinner. She has Alzheimer. She had another nurse during the day.
I even saved a shitton of money.

File: 1466802676062.jpg (75KB, 720x534px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 720x534px

>>17327483

>>17327513
>this pic
Top kek

I've always taken a long time to get off with women, which isn't a bad thing honestly. However in my recent sexcapades I haven't been able to cum, not even to really get close. I don't know whats wrong but I get hard as a rock and can go for what feels like hours, but just can't get there. When I'm masturbating I can come just fine though! Is this nerves about new women, or something wrong with me?

>>17327504
Thanks for the input, I appreciate it. I've been stressing over what to do, and even though it seems hopeless, I think I'd regret it if I never tried again.

You're a legend, thanks for hearing me out.

>>17327522
You're welcome, I wish I had better concrete advice, hope it works out for you.

>>17327532
c:

>>17327535
Different anon, and I really don't want to be rude I've read the conversation and I can see you're in a pickle. But "C:" if you do that kind of stuff with the girl PLUS come on strong, it's definitely a deterrent (not ALL girls of course) but a large majority find it very off putting when men make those weird emojis it's a very feminine thing to do. Again, I don't mean to be rude AND its not universal, but typically, yes, women find that a bit off.

>>17327518

*shrug* could be you're just nervous, could be you're death-gripped, could be something else.

Personally, i didn't really truly enjoy sex until my 3rd partner, and didn't cum at all until I met my 4th partner. At first, it'd take me about an hour and a half to cum, but now I can cum after like 20 minutes.

Part of it's a mental block, part of it's just certain positions are way easier for me to climax with, part of it's I've learned I need to put myself in a specific mental state to climax (i.e. relaxed--with all my other partners I focused on getting them to climax first. I think it helped that my gf was the only one able to put up with multiples rounds of hours of sex, and it let me get a lot more comfortable)

My advice, just don't overthink it and just keep doing what you do.

>>17327559

Thanks for the feedback anon, I just feel bad when I don't, mostly because I want the girl to feel good. A few have told me that they feel bad if I don't, and that bothers me. I've been seeing this girl I really like, and to date, I faked like 3 orgasms because I don't want to make her feel bad. I don't know what to do...I just get tired after 45 minutes of going to pound town, you know?

>>17327573
>I just feel bad when I don't, mostly because I want the girl to feel good. A few have told me that they feel bad if I don't, and that bothers me.

And that's kind of a negative feedback loop.

You make yourself feel bad about it, which puts pressure on you to do it, which makes it less likely to happen, which makes you feel bad.

Don't fake shit, just tell her you just tell her not to worry and that making her feel good is what makes you feel good.

Hell if you want to, you can turn it around and make it so it becomes a more provocative statement.

Don't worry about it, just have fun, try to enjoy yourself, laugh, make love, whatever.

The more in the moment and the less in your head you are, the easier this all becomes.

Would giving out flowers on a first date be too much?

Met up with this girl twice so far in her house and I asked her this morning if I could take her out for some food.

Don't know if flowers would be too try hardy or not.

>>17327667
Yes, don't do it.

>>17327669
Thanks for that.

>>17326507
>FWBs implies that you like each other platonically and sexually, but not romantically

I've felt this way about many women many times.

I've rarely, very very rarely felt legitimate love for someone, and that usually happens every 15 years for me.

And now I have realized it completely.

>>17327675
No problem, enjoy the date!

For girls:

I don't have a consistent idea of what girls think is physically attractive; I know everyone has different tastes, so what specifically is physically UNattractive that normal guys have/do?

>>17327667

I'm a dude, but I work in flowers.

Yes it's very probably too much.

First of all, think about it.
Flowers are not exactly the most convenient thing to carry around. They're usually large, potentially messy, delicate, difficult to discretely store, kind of awkward to carry around.

On top of that, if you get something like roses, those are a loaded as fuck flower. They typically mean passionate love, or enduring love, or pure love, love love love.

That's not a signal you want to be sending on a first date unless you're both from the 1800's.

Maybe something like a single rose works, or something small you know is her favorite if you REALLY know her well, but other than that, i'd tend to keep away from flowers as a gift on a first date.

Even me, I have easy access to literally hundreds of varieties of flowers and have an in depth knowledge of them, and I've only actually given flowers on dates a handful of times--and never on a first date.

>>17327700
For me, physically: pale skin, tall, dark hair, light eyes, broad shoulders, beard, nice hands, muscular chest, sweet smile, cute nose.

>>17327707
Thanks for that, flower man. I see your point.

>>17327710
So you are looking for a fat, ugly robot?

>>17327722
Forgot to say in shape. Lol.
And, yeah, I am not looking, I already have a fat, ugly robot all for myself.

>>17327722
She just didn't read well.
>>17327710
>broad shoulders
How common is it for girls to like them?
I think it's awkward as fuck and looks like shit on clothes; i dislike mine.

>>17327226
Being proud of yourself and accepting yourself is actually very difficult.

>>17327733
Ha, holy shit.
I should stop replying after I take sleeping pills. I just noticed my mistake - yeah, totally misread.

Well, to answer your original question: pretty much the opposite of what i listed - shorter than me, tanned (especially fake tan, so gross), out of shape, dressed poorly, bad hygiene (bad teeth, smelly, etc), balding.

>How common is it for girls to like them?
I don't know. I can say I really do like them, it gives me the feeling of being small and cute.

Christ, I'm glad I'm too old for this shit anymore. I had forgotten what a burden it was.

>>17327736
>Being proud of yourself and accepting yourself is actually very difficult.

The details and specifics are usually unique to each individual, but as a whole it's usually life long journey and is a basic plight that's common to all of humanity--And that's kind of exactly why it's so unattractive when someone whines that it's too hard, gives up, and says they'd rather hate the world.

Hard truth: Difficulty isn't really much of an excuse, nor does it garner much sympathy when it's something pretty much EVERYONE is struggling on some level to do--especially when there's a perceived lack of effort.

At the risk of being hyperbolic, bettering your condition isn't even a basic tenet limited to humanity, it's on some level a base goal of EVERYTHING that is alive.

You gotta be at least as ambitious as a single cell organism :p.

Girls

Would it look bad for a guy that hasn't had sex in 10 years? even if it was by choice?

>>17327842
The real question is which is worse, the absense by choice or by failure?

>>17327859

Well, which is?

>>17327872
I don't know.
Both are very weird situations. I'm also a man and sorta in the middle of both options.

>>17327333
I want to be married, and arranged marriages aren't the norm in my country.

>>17327667
Save flowers for when you fuck up so you don't have to buy jewelry.

Guys,

How would you react if your gf/wife told you she thinks she might be a lesbian? Would your reaction differ depending on if you're married or not?

Same for girls, how would you feel if your man thought he was gay?

>>17328073
There is nothing i can do besides accept and move on. My reaction would depend more on how she feels about me than anything else.
If she resents me i would cut ties and if she cares about me i would try to be helpful.

>>17327333

>why do you need a gf?

I don't need one. I mean, I'm not a happy person. But I don't see how a relationship could bring me happiness. I 26, and I've never had a girlfriend before. So I guess I'm just unknowing I guess.

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Ok sorry in advance for using #'s to rate people, but its simply to get my point across.

How come whenever say one girl likes me then a shit ton start to like me? I honestly don't consider myself good looking at all and because of it never intentionally hit on a girl. Sometimes a attractive girl 7/10 will talk to me and then like me. When other girls see it I get like 8/10's wanting me, a few times some of these girls were 9's.

I asked a girl out twice already. First time she had a boyfriend and second time she no longer had a boyfriend, said yes and seemed excited(about two or three months later). we talked a bit but then she stopped answering. after an awkward run in she said she wasn't ready to date(if i remember correctly).

Should i take my time and try again or just move on? the only thing that keeps me from moving on is that she is pretty much the ideal girlfriend.

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>>17328073
>dating
I would break up and wish her happy muff-diving.

>married
I would start planning the divorce and kick myself for being stupid enough to marry a woman so fucked up in the head she doesn't realize until this point.

>>17328118
Looks like you should move on so you can learn to move on.

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>>17328111
While I wonder if you're full of shit or not just because this is 4chan, I'll still answer the question. It's because dating/liking someone is a competition. So like if one bitch sees her friend/enemy/whatever giving you attention, then she might want to give you attention too in order to show her friend and you passive-aggressively that she is better than the other girl. That's my experience with most girls, anyway.

It also could be that you're imagining that everyone is attracted you now that you're aware of a single girl being attracted to you. Kind of like if you buy a car and then you suddenly notice that literally everyone has the exact same car. It's a trick of the mind.

Ladies

A guy offers you extremely intellectually stimulating conversation, is fun to be around and always happy, and looks quite attractive save for ~17% bf and in-process gainz - and there is extremely powerful chemistry between us, we have the weirdest and rarest hobbies/interests/worldviews together - like I am so dissimilar to other people but NOT HER, which is statistically very interesting as well. We hung out 4 times, with mutual friends, and made them feel like the 3rd wheel every time.

If I gave a nonchalant-esque vibe, Alpha Chad, but boyfriendy bants - subtle enough for her to know that I crave her, but not full on "Hey, I want to be your boyfriend" - could you forget about me in the span of a week? She is 18 and I'm 24. Could work just be that life-consuming that it overwhelms you and you lose interest in texting me, forget about me? Also I always overthink shit so do say so if that is the case here.

>>17328155
>If I gave a nonchalant-esque vibe, Alpha Chad, but boyfriendy bants
Dropped

>>17328161
That's the whole "bee yourself" thing. I am nonchalant and alpha Chaddy (when around my peer group, especially). The emphasis was on giving her the boyfriendy bants

So I found out unintentionally that my girlfriend of a few months had a partner who was 9inches, I'm only like 5.2inches.

I honestly can't look at her the same, it was just one time, she loves me, and I'm okay with each other having past partners, everyone does.

But this one thing, it really gets to me, to the point where I can't even look at her the same sometimes.

Wtf do I do? I know it's part of me being insecure, but this is on a whole new level.

>>17328155
You are possibiliy overthinking it. But it's hard to say. Maybe SHE'S also overthinking it. Maybe she wants to talk to you because she knows you guys are great together, as friends or more, but she's not sure how to bridge the gap that you refuse to close. You need to make a move, man. I know you've made subtle moves but sometimes for some people it's just not enough. Some girls and guys need that definitive "Hey, you wanna be my woman-cake/man-pie?"

I will say this, there is just NO WAY she straight up FORGOT about you. Like that'd be ridiculous. If you guys are that close and share so many interests and views, she's got to at least value as a friend. Call her ass when you know she's not busy.

>>17328177
Well recognizing that you're being insecure is the first step, and you've got that done.
???
profit

>>17328111
My belief is that your gait, subtle body languages, subconscious intonations, and rhetoric use (that one's a stretch) change very minutely when you are in a relationship, and then talk to other women. It is difficult or impossible to perceive in some cases, but women could pick up on it since they have like 16 areas of the mind that read this stuff (we have 4).

And women do compete as well, jealousy is one of their most neurotic and crazy emotions (in my experiences).

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Just generic Tinder questions to any lass on it.

Apparently saying "Hey, hows it going?" Is far to generic and wont work. What sorta stuff gets your attention? Do cheesy pickup lines work or will i simply look like an autist?

Is being 20, living at home and not driving a major issue?
I'm a nursing student in a party city, my job and the city center is a 15minute bus ride so I've not really seen the massive need to drive and its frankly just easier living at home and not getting in more debt then needs be.

Thanks

>>17328118
move on, anon.

I used to be that girl. If a person is actually interested in you, they won't make up excuses to not talk to you. She most likely found someone else or is too busy with her own life to care about anyone else.

>>17328232
depending on the personality or profile, adjust your humor accordingly. most of the time that'll catch their attention.

Not driving isn't too big of an issue if you're still able to take care of yourself and don't depend on your parents.

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Can I have a rating?

>>17328247
fag / 10

i wonder how many guys nutted on that gay nose ring

I want to meet a girl who has similar interests as me. Only problem is my interests include drawing, mtg, video games(mildly), a bit of anime i guess and lifting and meeting girls in the places where these activities occur is very rare since most of the time im just at home. Anybody have advice on places i should go?

>>17328232
typing their name out works wonders. why it does is a mystery to me. type something funny/witty and say their name all in one message. have fun mate.

>>17328382
go to conventions or events where your interests are the focus. or anywhere outside is an improvement really.

>>17328450
A person's name has power and meaning to them. It closes that digital gap more tightly.