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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 10293. page

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I met a nice guy and we started seeing each other on a regulary basis (2x a week). We had a wonderful time until my sister asked if we are exclusive after 2 months. I told her i don't really know, that i don't see other guys and that he said he isn't seeing other girls but we are not in a relationship. Ahe said this is realy weird and i need to find out. I brushed it off and went home. I kept thinking about her words and apparently started to get a bit too clingy. After a week he started to back off and act strange. I waited a couple if days (could have been just bad mood) and them asked what was wrong. After a long conversation we finaly found out that he felt pressured by my clingyness and that things went to fast. So we decided to take a step back. We were back to out former selfe and it went very well. Then maby 3 weeks later it started to bug me that he acted distant and cold again. I was a bit emotional anyways and told him that we should just stop "us" if he does not feel it. I told him we could be fwb because i like him as a friend and the sex is great. He did not want that. So we decided to give us some space and not see each other for one and a half week. 4 days in he asked i he could come over. I was really horny so i said yes. It was weird, because he suddenly was very loveydovey. The lack of intimacy outside of the bed was what upset me in the first place. So where did that come from so suddenly? Well, 3 days later he asks me out for dinner. I say ok because i am curious what's the matter for his new strange behaviour. We have a wonderful evening and then he INSISTS on paying for everythig. Until that day we always split bills. We went for a walk and ended up sleeping together at my place.
I am really confused /adv/. Whats up with us? Are we fwb now? Why is he so cuddly suddenly? I tought i habe drove him away too far with my dumb shit and pressuring him...
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
Your sister played you like a damn fiddle.
And I guess your guy just realised that he actually had a sweet girl that wanted him. Now he appreciates you.
I see that now. And i made a point to not act on somebody elses shit anymore. I did not feel like pressuring him or taking things to the next level. She just got me thinking and that was a real pitty. I just tought the damage was to big. He ha a bad breakup not ver long ago (5 months). And he has a hard time trusting/opening up again. He just needs time and i can respect that. Don't know how i could have been so dumb. Now i just try to keep the damage as small as possible.
This. I can totally relate to that guy.

Just be careful not to pressure him emotionally and everything should be fine.

ITT: Best advice you've ever gotten.
92 posts and 6 images submitted.
Don't pick someone you can live with. Pick someone you can't live without.
best advice I've ever gotten:

Don't pick someone you can live with. Pick someone you can't live without.

literally just got it like 3 seconds ago
More like quotes that somehow got into my head

>Pleasure unearned consumed itself
>Muscles aching to work, minds aching to create – this is man

Also, something I realized by myself: take life seriously, but people not so much.

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Anons I need your help. BADLY

There's this girl I'm crushing on that met Monday in my one of my college classes. We ate together and spoke to each other but still don't know each other too well. Only had a short lunch twice with her. Once Monday and once today. I've made her laugh and giggle really hard but I keep getting mixed signals from her and literally don't know how to ask her out.

I asked out and dated girls before but not since high school. And I've only really liked one. (Not to mention all of the asking out was done through texting so I'm kind of screwed here) I'm a Junior in college now and tired of doing this beta shit. I genuinely like her and don't know what to say. I keep "planning out" these scenarios on how to do it about it but forget what to do or say when I do.

I'm also VERY BAD at reading signals. One of my ex's tried flirting with me for 3 months before we started dating. How do you tell if she's into you?

How do you guys usually ask girls out? What should I do? She went home for the weekend to see her family and I see her again in class on Monday. Was thinking of making a move then.
21 posts and 4 images submitted.
Her personality/ Appearance: She's very down to Earth, likes anime and manga, and hanging around her "girlfriends". She's funny and curses a lot. (FUCK THIS, FUCK THAT, FUCK YOU, etc.) Can't confirm this for sure but from speaking to her, it sounds like she's never had a boyfriend before. She's one of those people that are huge fan of Superheroes but doesn't really read the comics or watch movies (I offered her some Wonder Woman books to borrow and she got really excited and giddy about it, she reading them right now) She says she has ADHD and spends a lot of time on tumblr.

She looks something like the picture but maybe a little heavier. She has these gorgeous blue eyes, short red hair, and piercing on her eyebrow (Her friend did it for her, fucked it up, and now she has a bruise) Her eyes are really beautiful and intimidating, and I freeze up every time I see them.
Ask her to go out with you for coffee or something and try flirting withe her to see if she responds favorably. Best case scenario is you get a date, worst case is you lose a friend.
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What specifically have you said when asking a girl out anon? I think I need big help there. If I could get a reenactment of what you do that would help me out a lot. I'm really shy when it comes to that shit and its killing me from the inside

[spoiler]It also doesn't help that she's the only thing close to a friend I think I have on campus. I just transferred here[/spoiler]

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Hey, I've recently turned 19 and have been to a few small house parties. During a couple of these parties, guys would bring girls over and try to fuck them. At one party, the girl declined and literally everyone treated her (and her friend that she brought with her, and who must've been brought there to have sex with one of the guys at the party) like shit for declining. It was the weirdest thing and I'm still a little emotionally scared by it (I'm a 19 kissless virigin and I couldn't rape another human being)

At another party, a couple was making out and someone else forcibly began to finger the girl until she started to cry.

Then at another party the same guy from above raped his girlfriends best friend while she was passed out.

All of this is so completely confusing to me, I have no idea what I should do when I bring a girl back to my place for a couple of drinks. Should I force myself upon her? Wait for the signals? Does this sort of thing happen often?
30 posts and 6 images submitted.

What kind of fucking people do you hang out with?
There is a 100% chance this is bait.
This isn't bait, should I drop contact with all of these people? could you two answer a couple of my questions as they're serious.

why is it wrong for a girl (who is in a relationship) to be friend with a guy who said he has romantic feelings for her?
66 posts and 3 images submitted.
It's not as long as you put him in his place.
for the same reason it is wrong for a man to be friends with a girl who said has romantic feelings for him. This isn't a gender issue and if you alone don't see what's wrong with it I don't think anyone on this board will be able to make you see why it is.
It's not. You might make your partner feel uncomfortable, though. If you don't care about that or you can make him say he doesn't mind, even though he does (I mean, in case he mentioned it once, then he probably does). Then it's okay. It can lead to a bunch of problems though, depending on the guy.

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When I was twelve I went on a hunting trip with my dad. After a day of no luck we set up our campsite and started a fire to cook dinner. Once it got a little darker, we began hearing noises in the woods around our camp. Wolves attacked us very suddenly. They pounced on me, knocking me into the fire. The wolves ate my front while the fire burned my back. My dad tried to shoot the wolves and save me but most of his shots hit me by mistake.
19 posts and 1 images submitted.
A few months after the incident my dad couldn't stand looking at me in my condition and decided to go on another hunting trip to get revenge. He got a large group of local hunters to go with him as they were upset about the attack as well. My grandfather and eight-year-old brother went along. The hunters combed the area and couldn’t find any wolves. They set up many traps and tree stands, though. On the third day of the trip my little brother fell into a hole with punji sticks in it and was skewered, but alive. No one was around but by grandfather, who slung his rifle over his shoulder and jumped into the hole to pull him out. He struggled to yank him off of the sticks without killing him but finally managed to do it.

He proceeded to climb out of the hole, but his shoestring got caught on one of the punji sticks. This, combined with my brother’s crying, screaming, and squirming, caused him to trip. He landed on top of my little brother and his elbow jammed into the trigger on his gun, firing it. The bullet ripped my grandfather’s head apart and rained blood and brain debris onto my helpless brother. He shouted and shouted for help as my grandpa’s stump of a neck flooded blood into his face. By the time anyone could get to them, my brother had drowned on my grandfather’s blood which had been pushed into his nose and mouth. The hunter who dug the trap was sentenced to three years for manslaughter and my dad began drinking heavily.
Seven months later my father had lost his job. His whole life revolved around alcohol and looking at videos of wolves dying on the internet. At Thanksgiving dinner I dropped my fork and fell out of my chair while trying to reach it, which flipped the table and ruined the meal for our whole family. My mother sobbed and my dad angrily mashed the turkey in a drunken rage as my family looked on in horror and I lied there in the mess. My uncle yelled at my father and my dad tried to hit him. My uncle punched him in the face and left. My dad stopped drinking after that and got a job working at McDonald’s. He decided to save up some money and go on another revenge trip. After several months he had repaired his relationship with his brother and earned enough money for quality gear.

This time he took only my uncle and my fourteen-year-old cousin along. They had a very difficult time finding any wolves and so resorted to doing everything they could to attract them. They made deer tracks and used deer scent spray to try and lure them in. They used deer calls to sound like a wounded buck. They wore all camo so the wolves would have a harder time spotting them, with no orange at all.

Another group of hunters fell onto the scent and saw the fake deer my dad had set up outside their camp. They opened fire and hit my cousin in the neck and head, and my uncle in the liver. My cousin was killed instantly and as soon as the hunters realized their mistake they fled the scene. My dad tried to save my uncle and did everything he could to keep him conscious. He slung him over his shoulder and began carrying him on the nine mile trek through the mountains. About halfway there, they ran out of water and my dad was completely exhausted.
That's when they heard a howl. A pack of wolves had finally taken their bait and was tracking them. They started running toward my dad and uncle. My dad used his remaining stamina to sprint as far as he could but soon tripped, too tired to go on. He gripped my uncle's hand as the wolves approached and decided he had to leave him. He got up and looked down at my uncle, who realized what was going to happen. My uncle said, "I will never forgive you for getting my boy killed." Then my dad ran away, leaving my uncle to be devoured.

My dad sat in his car for an entire day wracked with guilt. After almost twelve hours of sadness and shame, paranoia set in and he realized no one would believe him about the incidents. The police would assume that he killed my uncle and cousin himself. So he decided that he had to go back and hide the bodies.

He hiked the four miles back to my uncle's corpse, and found that the wolves had not eaten as much of him as he had expected. However, he realized that he was starving and needed some kind of nutrition. So, through tears and unspeakable guilt, he ate some of his brother's raw remains in order to extract any nutrients he could. He buried what was left of the corpse in a shallow grave and hiked back to the camp for my cousin.

His body had not been touched by the wolves, but blood was all over the tent from the gunshots. My dad dug a large hole for my cousin and the incriminating camping gear, then set out for home. He had only told me about this trip so no one knew. My aunt reported my uncle and cousin missing and the police began searching. They questioned my dad and after that he became increasingly paranoid and withdrawn.

There's a girl who I am getting the impression is trying to steal my boyfriend away. She's wedged herself in his circle of musician friends and there's essentially in a band, so he has to see her at meetings and at shows. The girl has him drive her home and she took his hat. They drunkenly tried to hook up when we were taking some time off to figure out the relationship and I found her stuff at his place when we got back together. I told her we were back together and she has seen it.

But she's constantly pushing boundaries and he loves the attention, maybe even interested in her. It makes me feel like shit, especially since she is 6 years younger than me.

It used to be that he was attracted to girls like me, or me in general. But his phone background was a picture of a girl who looked like her until I saw it and got upset. Now everything she posts on the internet is like what he posts. They've completely merged in interests. I also found out they are neighbors (after she asked him to drive her home one night that I was in the car) so I'm constantly worried that he's sneaking over there and everything he says seems like a lie. I can't tell if I am being paranoid anymore.

He's still with me, we see each other almost every day... but I can't get this anxiety out of my head. When I say something about how it bothers me he gets defensive and claims he "has" to be friends with her.

What can I do to get her to go away?
149 posts and 17 images submitted.
short of killing her, you can do literally nothing. you've already talked to your bf, hes obviously not gonna cut ties.
If you're both trying to make it for the long haul, supposedly, then you have to take precedence over a friend. I would dump anyone who wanted to be together indefinitely but didn't agree to this.

I'm not telling you to dump him, but just realize your request he stops this shit with her is not that tall an order.

If you aren't even in that level of your relationship yet, just consider yourself plan B and leave the liar to his own devices.
>What can I do to get her to go away?
The solution is to chill out, not murder her.

>we were taking some time off to figure out the relationship

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My little sister is a tumblrite and a social justice warrior. I love her anyway, because she's my sister, but I don't share her views or even her values. I'm apparently the one dissenting voice in the echo box of her life, the only person who says "no" even if I agree, just for the sake of actually thinking something through, and so she projects all the things she sees as wrong with the world onto me and treats me like I'm some kind of arch-conservative. Whenever she starts talking about her pet issues she talks about them as if I am somehow personally involved in perpetrating the bad things she doesn't like, and I'm sick of it. Every conversation I have with her feels like she's attacking me for things I have nothing to do with. I can't stand the increasing feeling of disrespect.
How do I cope with this? I can't just cut off all contact with my little sister, but every fucking interaction I have with her is unpleasant and I can't stand being treated like a stupid bigot anymore just because I don't partake in her oppression olympics.
20 posts and 2 images submitted.
Every faggot between the ages 16-20 thinks they know everything about the world, and how "wrong" this and that is. They think they can change the world, thus they are vocal about their opinions. By the time they get into their late 20s, they'll realize its time to put ideals away, and start focusing on their on life.

Give her time, she's just acting her age.
Cut off contact with little sister.
try to have your entire family disarm every singlempoint she makes so she can realize how retarded she is before it is too late

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Been with this guy almost a year.
>super insecure
>overly clingy/needs constant attention
>I'm busy with work and too worn out when I come home to deal with his constant nagging
>I care about him as a person, but I can't put up with him being crazy all the time
>anytime I try to talk to him and just relax like we used to it turn into him thinking I'm cheating or that I don't love him enough

I think we need to break up or at least take a break, but anytime I bring it up he cries and talks about wanting to die.

Idk how to end this gently. I don't think I want him gone forever. I just don't have time atm for this kind of relationship

>pic related I have over 50 voice mails from him just this month. Either upset and crying or telling me he's sorry and he loves me.
92 posts and 2 images submitted.
Did you know he was like this before you went out with him?
haha you stupid fuck you've been with him for a year now
he's so "in love" at this point any break up is gonna be nuclear

how he got lucky enough to fuck you for a year while being a social retard, ill never know

anyway, have fun leaving the retard
This is why you don't ignore red flags before you date.

Unfortunately at this point sounds like the attraction is gone. It certainly would for me. And he's guilt-tripping you into not breaking up with him.
Call it quits and prepare for more crazy.

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I have a boyfriend and I love him very much. We've been together for about 2-3 years and I feel the same since then. He started being my best friend and I really don't feel like my love is "fading away" (lol how cheesy it sounds...)

Anyway. He's my first real relationship and the first person who I've had (full?) sex with. The thing is... There's a guy at work that really turns me on. I've had some sex dreams recently and I've thought about him a few times while having sex with my boyfriend...

I feel horribly bad. I really want to fuck him and he's starting to be a good friend. I don't think I could fall in love with him and as I said, I really love my boyfriend but I found this guy to be really attractive and can't help but thinking about a way to end up fucking him...

Anyway, is this NORMAL? Or should I feel like the shittiest crap (lol) ever?

By the way I'm female, yes...

pic unrelated
84 posts and 7 images submitted.
It's okay to fantasize about other people, but talk to your boyfriend about it.
I think that's a tough question. Having feelings of "lust" over others isnt unnatural or wrong. The chemicals/hormones in your body just want it. It is what it is.
if you love your boyfriend then break up with him, or dont flirt with the guy anymore

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