nobody else made a thread edition
>cock sucking paki reporting in
Your waifu a shit, posting superior trading card waifu.
>tfw was comfy in bed with my cat but she just buggered off
Why must everyone always leave?
Horlicks was invented by two British-born men, William Horlick (1846-1936) and his brother James (1844-1921) from Gloucestershire, England. James was a chemist, working for a company that made dried baby food. William, the younger brother, had emigrated to America in 1869 and James decided to join him in Chicago in 1873. That same year, they started their own company (J&W Horlicks) to make a malted milk drink. They called their product 'Diastoid' and their advertising slogan read: 'Horlick's Infant and Invalids Food'.
>'Horlick's Infant and Invalids Food'.
here is my original comment along with a .gif of MUH WHY FOO
Much thanks senpai baka desu
>does it actually help you to sleep?
I'd say so. But I drink it because I'm cutting fat off my body so if I make it with milk it stops me from getting hungry during the night, it's also bretty comfy during these cold nights.
Whatever famalam, congrats you think your cartoon is better than mine okay fair enough gg no re
>Do you think its helps you sleep any better than just warm/hot milk would?
Probably not mate; warm milk would be just as effective IMO but I like the malty taste desu.
>Also less calories if you just have milk
I know senpai but I'm on around 1250 calories a day with exercise as well, so a few extra cals are welcomed given the circumstance.
Had an interview for a bartending position at a cocktail/lounge bar earlier, i start on thursday at 10, 5 nights a week, so i get to stick to my fucked up sleeping pattern. Buzzing for it desu, its an ideal position for me and the pay is pretty good.
Before now i was extremely close to complete homelessness, i have 0 monies
Who else /feelingpositive/ here?
I used to go on that a lot 10 years ago when they were funny.
Now it's full of insane middle aged people.
If you read their equivalent of /britpol/ it's a bunch of crazy super marxists, like /pol/ of the left. They seem to have been in a perpetual state of calling for a revolution and the seizure of the means of production for the past 15 years.
the only good pictures I have of me are from poetry readings I've done because I never fucking socialise apart from my uni's literature scene - will girls think I'm a tosser for having that as my tinder profile?
only getting tinder so I can shitpost about it
If you are going to hers before getting drunk get drunk there then do it, if you have drinks before and you get there just tie her up, fuck the literal shit out of her asshole and smother her with a pillow when you're done, that way there is no regret
chubbys love anal btw because their fannies are so big it's like a rubber glove
Depends how good looking you are but pretty much, was drunk with a girl once we were on her sofa, I looked at my crotch so did she, then she looked at me and said what so I said 'well its not gonna suck itself is it' she laughed and started sucking me off
who are you going to vote for?
how the fuck is this not original fuck you japmoot
Lads I think I might be going insane but I get the feeling all the people I work with are talking about me and laughing behind my back.
It's that thing where you walk past two people, they stop talking, look at you, look at each other then smirk and only start talking again once you've left that's making me think it.
Post cats lads.
Here's Billy, who likes to sit like a human and stare while I sit on the computer playing vidya.
I'd say I'm average and she's below average. I basically told her that we should meet up so she can meet my penis.
I don't like the idea of being drunk and having sex, what if I can't perform?
Here's Smudgy he is a stray cat I look after he loves food and being fat and getting pets and won't let go in the back door of my house unless he goes in first.
Here's Raiden, named after vidya character because I'm a fag.
Dunno, did complain to my boss earlier that I think I'm being given all the low profile crap work while the guys on the same level as me are being given all the good stuff.
Probably something about me being a whiny little shit.
because the more clients they process the more money they make. a gf will save her pro moves for the end but she those escorts coming out like a hero line in the nhl playoffs to make dollars
>tfw attracted to you but can't muster up courage to talk with you and now I'm being NTR'd
it was just after new years, some guy was pissed off about not receiving the same recognition and opportunities as others even though he was a better worker and said that the next person who acts like a swarmy cunt is getting a hot cup of joe in their face lel
You need to wear your glasses more.
>Have to go to London
>have a few hours to kill
>decide to go around tower hamlets to see how bad it is
>walk 2 miles down whitechapel road
>minority white, but no where near as bad as expected
Is the area gentrifying or something? It seemed at least 30% white at a minimum, maybe 40%
Jake the cat, 13(?), these days likes the sofa, on or under my bed and sitting in the sunlight and getting really warm
He has arthritis and kidney problems, still manages to catch birds and mice though
He dislikes the fox that keeps coming onto my garden, he is usually hesitant to go outside at night
Had a mental breakdown in the library yesterday and cried like a bitch on the bus back.
Tried to hang myself from the door ala robin Williams and freaked out
I've just been playing shogun and eating ritz biscuits since then
Idk what to do desu
No idea what breed desu mate, have a camera shoved in face while sleeping picture.
>tfw middle mouse button is breaking so can't easily open window in new tab
Jake looks like a cool guy. Cats like to go in the sunlight to get warm because their body temperature is supposed to be 20 degrees.
Jake looks like my friend Berry, Berry is another stray I look after he will eat anything and likes to go on his back legs to headbutt your hand. Here is him enjoying some left over fajita chicken.
Why was the thread down, I was left alone with my negative thoughts.
Grade A robot End It All song.
Literally insane but it wouldn't be britfeel without him. He should be considered a national treasure
Sometimes annoying but overall nice. Doesn't spam the threads like the others either.
>Tildes White Knight
Pretty sure there's more than one of them but the people who insult tilde are more obnoxious at this point
Literally the worst.
>tfw need to poo but don't want mum to hear me poo
Who else here writes a post then deletes the entire thing whilst thinking "who gives a fuck".
I was going to rant about how a girl can be slightly upset or down one day, make it known to the public on normiebook and recieve about 50 messages "aww are you ok? do you need to talk" etc. Where as a man could post "fuck life end it all" and nobody would give a fuck. Yet were in a patriarchal society etc.
But the patriarchal system demands that men be seen to be infallible, therefore when men do show weakness it's either ignored, or worse mocked, in order to protect said system, but very much at the cost of the individual.
freinds are easy to make, join a community like local gaming place or magic the gathering, or join a competitive team and travel to LANs
girls don't talk to me much either (only a 'hello' etc. as a freind of a friend). even then they'd probably stop anyways since i'm pretty boring to most people
>get with girl
>play "boyfriend/practice girlfriend" for a while
>get her pregnant
>2 months before due date slip her some morning after pills to cause a miscarriage
>for a few days grinding these pills in her food
>"sorry, mummy says I'm too old to be playing house, see ya"
>a short while later she has the miscaridge/still birth
ill be honest mate i have no idea who he is or the other trips on britfeel because im not arsed in the slightest
what should we do im so bored its making me fucking bothered
might play something but all games are shite
fed up of getting dunked on in FM 2bh, playing as watford in create-a-club mode, made a self insert who's going to be GOAT tier but he's still got a few years to develop, 8 games away from season finish and everyones going to be upset I don't miraculously qualify for the champions league this year
I'm 25 and i'm still a full blown autist when it comes to getting haircuts. I have maybe 3 haircuts a year and trim it myself between them. I'll often start wearing a beanie for a while if my hair ends up looking bad enough.
You walk in. They all look at the sheer fucking state of you and think "OH FUCK HERE WE GO" instead of asking "How can we help you?" they just giggle and look at each other whilst you hide half way out the door. Daring to pop your head through you ask "C...can I...Im here for a hair...cut"......Cold silence......They all burst out laughing. You begin to cry and shout for your mum who was waiting in the car thinking to herself "I hope he's ok, I know its a simple task for some but ____ might struggle". Your mother holds you as you shake and piss your pants. She says that you tried your best and that gets you 40 GBP. You sit in the back seat behind her as she drives you to the McDonalds drive through and because they havent got the milkshake you want you begin to REEEEEEEEEEEEEE and kick the back of your mums seat as hard as you can and call her a "sloppy cunt!". When you get home you put on your Micky Mouse PJ's have cookies and milk and watch repeats of Art Attack then you piss yourself again and soundly fall asleep.
Thats how you get a haircut.
Sat in there with a bunch of guys who don't wanna be there. Barber making small talk while you just wanna get the fuck out so you can live your life. How does that look? Wank. Do it again. fine. let me out knobhead. Haha.
>find a place with big windows
>walk past several times to establish where the coat hangers are (possibly best to do this while it's semi-busy)
>return another day to actually get it cut (choose a rainy morning during the week between 10-11, it will be empty)
>go in and head straight for the coat hangers making eye contact and greeting only if necessary
>they'll either get you to wait a minute while they tidy or some shit or immediately take you to your seat
>get them to cut your hair as short as you're still happy with so you don't have to go for another couple of months
>give limited answers to their attempts at making conversation, they stop trying after not long
>get your jacket while they ring up the till
>pay up and if you are in a particular hurry tell them to keep the change
>try to exit and inevitably try to push a pull door or the other way around
>walk as far and fast as you can and hope nobody sees you
Ah man I could do with some Art Attack.
Long on the top, short on the sides/back. It's like 90% of male haircuts saying this means fuck all.
I can't do it. I'm done I'll pretend it's too cold to get a haircut until March.
ARE YOU HUNGY?
ARE YOU POOR?
WELL COME ON DOWN TO THE TESCO/ASDA POT NOODLE FARM, WE SELL FRESHLY GROWN POTS STRAIGHT FROM THE TREE FOR 50P EACH
GO ON LAD BE A BOMBAY BAD BOY
You should probably be worried about potential damage
>tfw waiting for postman and if I sleep now it's all over pham
>We'll never be white
At least we're not pakis, though.
I was called 'Spaghetti' by all the pakis because of my curly hair.
>tfw only the white people were nice to me
We only had 1 halfcast john, the darker one would have been slightly white john if we had one
There was also this tiny kid who had big ears and was pretty poor, uniform looked like it was handed down we called him dobby based on his resemblance to the harry potter elf
and a set of twins everyone called twinnies 1&2
I never had a nickname
>not just giving yourself a buzzcut
what are you, a normie that cares about how his hair looks?
>try to exit and inevitably try to push a pull door or the other way around
Ah fuck m8 every time.
>it's another day of wagecucking
Christ will this week ever end.
I know this feelio. It was fucking freezing on the way to work this morning.
Watch the first episode of Kyoani's new show called Myriad Colors Phantom World.
Then watch Yuri Yuri and Food Wars Shokugeki no Soma
I'd suggest the Monogatari series but I don't think they have Bakemonogatari unless you use a proxy.
I felt depressed for a month once because I couldn't get hard for weeks. It got so bad that I was actually considering going to the doctor and saying "muh dick doesn't work anymore" but I was too embarrased.
Being 22 and having erectile dysfunction is bleak. Luckily it went back to normal after about 4 or 5 weeks, I'm still not sure what caused it.
Not true really.
It is gentrifying at a massive place but;
White ppl wont actually work in whitechapel so if you go there during the day you wont see much
Council doing fairly well (compared to other) at keeping hold of social housing
You absolutely must watch Ghost in the Shell then. It's like Bladerunner mashed with The Matrix (it actually inspired The Matrix).
Do NOT watch Ghost in the Shell 2.0, it's the first film but with certain scenes replaced with terrible CGI. Absolutely nobody likes it, the original is far better.
Fancy a kebab but not sure what I should get.
Standard donner, house special, something else? Suggestions welcome lads I will allow you to live vicariously through me while I post photo updates of the meal being consumed.
I love the background and setting too. I have a weird fascination with those kind of dystopian cities
I'd love to live somewhere like Hong Kong. It would probably be shit in the long term but there's just something so alluring about it. Everything crammed together, neon lights etc.
Trips of truth.
I get what you mean , there is definetely something attractive about living in a big big dark rainy , neon city. Give it 20-40 years and I reckon London might be like that, for now Tokyo is genuinely the closest thing to that though.
I don't even like anime that much, but damn I would fucking kill to live in a cosy little apartment in Tokyo
It's mostly stills and pans, not a lot of actual animating going on. That's the only achievement of anime, to market itself as being animated.
You'll notice how low the framerate is when the characters turn or walk, how jarring and choppy the actual animation is.
>I will allow you to live vicariously through me while I post photo updates of the meal being consumed.
no thanks mate, we don't need fat bastards shitting up this thread and making it /britpakifood/
It's no different to western cartoons in that respect then.
If however you're going to compare 60fps Disney animations to anime then it wouldn't be fair since they have a budget of like 100 million dollars and use literal supercomputers to render each scene. A little office in nippon can't compete with the visual fidelity or smoothness.
*unsheathes katana and teleports behind you*
get the fuck away from my animes, kid
Hungover desu lads and don't remember laying down last night or how I got this scratch on my finger.
I had a similar experience where I turned up 20 minutes late because I didn't read the time properly and wasn't allowed to take the test. If you turn up to the test centre, even if you're late, you can book another test as soon as it becomes available. On the other hand, if you're a complete no show I think they make you wait a month or two before you can rebook.
>tfw revising for big test on friday
>nan who I loved to bits died on monday
>2 week break after friday
>dragon's dogma comes out on friday
>managed to get dragon's dogma and XCOM2 both 25% off
>had to go pick up painkillers from pharmacy
>normally they treat me like shit just because I need painkillers
>this time mercaptopurine is also on my prescription
>get treated like an illness king
It felt good desu.
kek I know that's bullshit because it took my mum much more than five attempts. she failed the practical 8 times. and theory she failed twice.
to this day she can't park unless there's a boat load of space.
I remember some hot girls in a night club a few years ago, said about me that I was a 9/10. I was pissed of at the time because I thought I was the absolute tits, and a perfect 10. Now I'm fat and probably a 5/10. So fuck it
it's coming to PC so you can play in 60fps etc
there's a big war on /v/ over PC lads and console lads where faggots like >>25719184 get their knickers in a twist for one reason or another. I don't give a shit about the arguments I just like videogames
I'm just excited to play the game, I never managed to play it on PS3 so I'm excited, and for 18 quid you can't go wrong really
>mfw pcucks only just got mgo and dragons dogmas now
I don't begrudge anyone a chance to play DD, I reckon its a fantastic game, even though it's got flaws. Nothing beats a team of 4 sorcerors spamming grand bolide and shitting all over the framerate.
I'll boot up the playstation to play some MGO.
Oh wait, the servers have been offline for years.
Guess I'll have to make do with silky smooth 120fps at 4k. Enjoy your... 'games'...
>videogames used to be my favourite hobby
>used to finish school and play videogames immediately
>can't play a videogame for more than 30 minutes without getting bored of it
I just can't enjoy videogames anymore, even the ones that I was really looking forward to ended up being disappointments. I'm not sure what I expect from a game anymore.
Recently I have resorted to playing older games like Baldur's Gate and the Final Fantasy series.
Just Cause 3, Battlefront, Fallout 4, Witcher 3, MGSV are all just bollocks.
Fallout 4 and MGSV were great at first and then the rest of the game is just more of the same.
Anybody else know this feelio? It depresses me, I want to like videogames again.
Just look for more niche games, you were only naming AAA titles. I disagree with Witcher 3 as well, I put 100 hours into that and loved it, but fair enough.
Try Sherlock Holmes Crimes and Punishments, that's different and fun.
I thought the same thing, but every now and then a game comes out that I fall in love with and can't put down.
Max Payne 3 really did that too me. The telltale 'games' do that to me.
MGSV did it a little. It's disappointing and has a low of flaws but I still clocked 100+ hours on it.
Just got to find that gem you like.
Fuccck, that's pretty cool. I don't want to spend money though. My student loan is dwindling.
>Anybody else know this feelio? It depresses me, I want to like videogames again.
I can't play videogames when sober anymore, I get too bored. If I'm drinking though, I'll session all evening on 1 game, and love it.
He's lying to you lad. Not like it matters anyway, the game is great fun to play with just you and your main pawn. I made my pawn look like lezard valeth from Valkyrie profile.
if you were a weeb that would read
''im doing lots of meaningful things to improve my life and my future chances of moving to japan and being a famous anime artist, why aren't you trying to improve your life?''
-im not interested
-im not interested
-I read the internet everyday.
I have a heap of things to do, but theyre all just ways to waste time,
think ill just sit and be comfy instead.
What should I do with my life lads?
Obtained a shit worthless humanities degree and now I work in a warehouse for 7 pound an hour. I want to apply for something, but I have no idea what.
In my time off all I do is play games and I'm too tired to look for jobs. Plus parents are forcing me to pay rent.
Any help would be appreciated, thanks lads.
Think of what you would like to do (within reason) and take steps to achieve it.
I know it sounds vague as fuck but I can't really give you a step by step guide.
I graduated with a 2:2 in ancient history, so my job prospects weren't exactly stellar. I found an industry that I thought looked interesting, did a few months of work experience and then got a job that I actually enjoy.
I'm not going to pretend that you're guaranteed to succeed in whatever you decide to do but at least have a go at making yourself happy pal, its the least you deserve.
Well, that's all... ancient history now.
How about this
>Hi Polish female,
>The password for your Google Account [email protected] was recently changed.
>Don't recognize this activity?
>Click here with your old login information to recover your account.
>The Google Accounts team
I've applied to a few grad schemes and had a couple of responses. I applied for a teaching one and got rejected at the second stage. I don't think I really want to be a teacher anyway so I didn't put any real care into my application.
English Literature :(
What industry did you go into m8?
I went into funerals, its really laid back and there's tons of downtime so I can do lots of shitposting. I'm going to be starting an embalming course in march so once I've qualified I'll have even less human interaction to deal with.
>I would reset my password to see what email they send me and copy that - replacing only the links.
Exactly what I'm doing and where I got the idea
I don't think it's better than my "Google+ opt out" idea but it certainly requires less effort
its not the end of the world lad. If you want to go into a city job or something you need experience, even doing an internship will get your foot in the door. There are independent finance exams you can take at any point and they're piss easy
what's the money like? I planned my dads funeral and that was like 8k
having to do my nan's at the moment, her plan only covers 2k so I'm going to have to find the rest myself
you'd only be disappointed when you realised that real cases are nothing like the fun ones in AA, also no spirit channeling
>no official word yet on who the presenters will be
Craig Charles or it's getting fucking DROPPED.
It's like when they started showing Takeshi's Castle again and replaced him with those dickheads Dick and Dom doing the narration, it just wasn't the same.
>listening to some tunes on spotify
>decide to look at the "browse" section
>All Out 90s playlist
Fucking love the feeling of nostalgia with some of these tunes. Back when I was a normie with loads of friends and a comfy life ahead of me.
Where did it all go so wrong?
The money isn't great tbqh but it's not bad either, I'm on 23k a year for driving cars, trimming coffins, drinking coffee and dressing dead people.
I know there's going to be someone mocking me for not making 60 grand a year but I actually look forward to going into work because I enjoy it. Can't beat the feeling when a crying widow says thank you and gives you a big hug.
How did you manage to spend 8k? I assume it's a burial and you're buying a new grave. An average cremation costs about 3 and a half grand, less if you go to an independent.
>where does one find this?
work it out son
>babysit your girlfriend's kid
This must be b8
Are you in London? I wouldn't expect those kind of prices anywhere else.
Has your nan passed away , or are you just getting it all paid for in advance? I might be able to help you save some dosh.
I had a guy deliver my Pizza that I had done community service with.
I thought great, a fucking criminal just delivered my dinner. Then I had remembered where I met him. But, still I'm better than that scum.
at minimum you can put 20 away a fortnight.
if you live at home, living costs can be cheaper. so you usually have more left over.
if you live like a scruff, and eat cheap food.
you can save more if you really want it.
He's butthurt as fuck and out to do maximum damage.
Within minutes he'll have access to her facebook, paypal, instagram etc. and be wreaking havoc ruining her life.
He's sick and needs to be stopped. Fortunately for her I've already sent her this thread warning her about his plan. All he needs to do is send that email and the police will have him again.
nah man, Essex - the crematorium was in an expensive part of town so maybe that was a contributing factor. Also it's across the road from a jewish cemetary (go figure)
yeah she died on monday, got to sort everything out about her life, daft old lady had like 20 standing orders for random shit - 64 quid a month to the corner shop bloke for god knows what so I went and chewed his ear off for taking advantage
Just had an interview britbongs
It went well tbqhaf
ignore him mate he's just trying to scare you
trust me i've scoured the internet for your dox and nothing there's, so much so that I doubt 'poleaboo' is even a real person and just a work of fiction from one very dedicated anon
Nice taste fampai. Expensive though, whats the occasion?
Seriously what the fuck is wrong with people like you, why are you scared of a bunch of girls or anyone for that matter, your house is your territory, your domain, don't be frightened in your own home or you literally might as well kill yourslf
Train drivers don't have to deal with people. Train drivers sit in one spot and move a lever back and forth all day long. train drivers get paid 60 grand a year. Delivery drivers have a pretty shitty deal in comparison.
I still don't tip
Do a bit of shopping around on prices lad. Getting a phone quote takes 5 minutes at most, and you might be able to get a couple hundred quid off the bill or a free limo if you threaten to go elsewhere. Make sure that the funeral home is actually independent and hasn't been bought out by co op or dignity, as their prices are disgusting.
If you're struggling to find the money to pay for the funeral then you can try applying for a British gas energy trust grant, one of my clients got 2 grand off them. Don't bother with the DWP funeral payment unless your entire family is on benefits as they are notoriously stingy.
Also remember that you don't actually need a funeral director, its entirely possible to do it all yourself.
If the newest version is still 3.5 then yeah.
I was just about to make a webm of this shit, her head was going all Exorcist but turns out f9 closes the game.
>tfw agency ring me
>"sorry too many people at comfy factory, but we do have positions available at THORNTONS"
FUCKING THORNTONS WHY DID I EVEN SAY YES GG NOR FUCKING REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Make sure you buy a qt
What did she mean by this?
Could I be getting some buttfun, family members?
Girl in my seminar just said this in the group chat
How do I out meme her?
My fucking pizza finally got here. It was some dumb tyrone delivering which explains it.
He asked me how much it was as if i was the fucking delivery man. I said 16.99 and the
n without skipping a beat he asked me how much change he has to give me back.
I don't know if he was fishing for tips as if i was a yank or if he was just genuinely a retard.
Are you 2 pizza man? It's my birthday, think I'll get some pizza actually.
I had a nice arab man deliver my pizza
>haha you are anon right?
>haha I know because you pre paid so it says here
>haha okay t-thanks
>yes enjoy my friend have a good day okay take care
>130 days until A-level exams
>Haven't done any revision
>Have been doing homework at 12am the night before it's due
>Have mocks left and right that I'm completely unprepared for
Would you fuck her lads? I definitely would
>In 3rd year University
Get outta here with your a level btec bullshit
shoulda done a Uni Access course then and saved yourself the trouble.
I knew a girl who U'd out all her A levels and did an Applied Science access course and now, years later, she's doing her masters in Psychology from a top Uni.
she also worked in a Solicitors firm the entire time she was studying making bank. Even though she had like 5 GCSEs and 0 A levels.
She was a runner up for Miss UK or some shit which is ofcourse completely not a factor at all.
The girl I used to really like who I ignored when she was depressed and suicidal because I was a dick just messaged me. Not sure how to feel, I'm tempted to respond out of how lonely I am but I don't want to get those feelings back for her.
You've been zapped.
It's the past.
Your you, 16 years of age.
You've been given another chance
You've just finished year 11 and start college in 3 months.
You've got 3 months to lose your virginity if not you are forced into a sex free life forever.
What do you do differently?
"I am 24 year old British student Handholdless, kissless virgin I have little to no interest or hobbies I am not notably attractive or intelligent I have hove no social skills, I do not initiate conversations, I cannot carry a conversation and I have no friends I lucked out and lived with 2 female roommates last academic year, it was the greatest experience of my life, nothing happened, we barely spoke, but just being a part of their world was great. Unfortunately I got a little obsessive and insane, I did some terrible things that I am deeply ashamed of, I would hope to redeem myself and heal the hurt I cause but being the useless, worthless, sack of shit that I am, I know this is impossible. I was living with 2 different roommates for my final academic year. Allegedly got obsessed with a classmate and was arrested for "stalking" in March and suspended from university pending my trial at the end of September."
>fucked degree on final year
>will end with a 2.2 or end up dropping out
It only gets worse senpai. Just a lot lot worse.
Only thing I would do differently is ask out the girl I should have done at the end of year 11 then pussied out of. Tbf I doubt things would have turned out any differently though. I've been doomed from conception.