Jesus kill me now please
you're the bravest of us man
we're feeling this with you for fuck's sake
I suggest you keep it shorter in future.
You revealed too much of yourself.
A simple "Hey you wanna go on a date with me this Saturday to the blah de blah event?" might serve better.
You lose less face when she rejects you.
Keep at it bro.
OP again. Made this from screenshots from a convo when I was 11-12
>be highschool freshman
>for some random reason a group of senior girls befriend me and go out of there way to talk to me
>some how get invited to one of their graduation parties
>towards the end of the party its just me and the girl talking
>she's going on about how cool I am and that she hopes I have a wonderful time in highschool
>she gently grabs my shoulder and I misinterpret that as her coming in for a hug so I hug her
>after a few seconds she says "oh... You're hugging me"
>I let go of her and say goodbye before running off embarrassed
oh i made that for a thread where we actually wanted to identify ourselves, sorry i forgot it was on
Don't worry, I'm not into identifying myself on an anonymous imageboard without reason
girl i made out with new years eve who said she's a "queer" woman who doesn't date men
fresh for '16 you suckers
fresh squeezed cringe
the only contact i've ever had with girls through internet was asking them what was homework, they usually told me, i said thanks and that was it, why were you guys typing all of this shit is beyond me
talk to her with genuine interest and don't get sexual and you might make a good internet friend
i know it's not really good enough but maybe after a year of that you guys could maybe meet in real life
i probably shouldn't be pitching this idea...
Tripfags are dropping like flies on this board, and good riddence.
What is wrong with you fucking normies of today? I am a fucking sperg, but even I do not drop spaghetti in chat rooms as hard as you guys do.
Do you guys even think about the things you write?
Damn bro, I'm sorry. Have some more of mine.
I decided to ask out my oneitis because I didn't want to be alone for christmas.
jesus christ man how are you still living
hmmmmmm I have one back from when I was 12/13 I think. Kill me tbqh.
I don't screenshot my cringe but I can assure you I have plenty of it on my deleted normiebook.
I once got blackout drunk and added my ex girlfriend on my phone as a contact but gave her the name of my step sister and then text her quotes from FLCL. That's pretty cringe.
I delete my cringe tbqh. But i can tell you that i dated this girl for a while she broke it of. i reacted normal at her message but literally weeks later i freaked out on her at facebook asking if she still had feelings and all that stuf and said she was immature and stuff kek. Later i swallowed my pride and apologized wich is also cringy but whatever.
If i could turn things back then i would have never send that desperate message. At the time i thought it would 'help' me.
You didn't do that you fucking retard stop taking credit. I've seen that before.
I am the Cringemaster. None can best me
a 750ml bottle of booze, bunch of weed, some feels, and this happened
i want to kill myself when i think of this. she broke up with me. i had literally nobody else to talk to about shit. i was feeling so god damn alone.
we're both 18 if it makes it less bad
Done. Why did I type like an autistic piece of shit.
This isn't that bad. You just came off as genuine and sad, not desperate or cringey
she blocked me on facebook the next week
cant even see what shes up to anymore
It's literally my fucking image you fucking faggot.
>be on date with gril
>go get coffee
>order drinks, barely manage to spit the words out
>barista puts a coffee on the counter
>think it's mine, start sniffing it up close
>some guy grabs the coffee, looks at me really weirdly and walks off
>"s-sorry thought it was mine..."
>go bright red
>drop credit card twice while paying, spend about a minute trying to pick it up off the floor, cash fell out my wallet too
>spill the drinks quite a bit on the counter when picking them up
The worst part is that she said absolutely nothing throughout that entire ordeal. I would've at least liked her to have said SOMETHING, whether it's to put me at ease or to tell me I'm a massive sperg.
it never would have happened if i didnt drink all that shit
maybe that was why i drank it, because i missed her, wanted to talk to her and knew it would be cringey but i also knew i wouldnt say anything sober
Girlfriend and her friend flirt all the time in the group chat we're in. She also talks to me about kissing her best friend sometimes. Pic related
Not cringey, I'm actually tearing up a little
What on earth would possess you to say something like that? Did you actually mean that shit?
About to break up with girlfriend. Pic related is our last convo.
I HAD TO DO THIS BECAUSE I THE ONE FUCKING TIME I WAS ABOUT TO GET LAID I HAD A HUGE FUCKING UGLY ASS PIMPLE ON MY DICK.
I DID NOT EVEN KNOW PIMPLES COULD HAPPEN ON DICKS, IT NEVER BEFORE OR AGAIN AFTER HAPPENED.
A few months ago I met with my ex-gf for lunch and we ended up kissing in this park on a hill. It was my first kiss.
A few months afterward I messaged her asking if she wanted to do that again. She said no. I tried playing it off casually by saying something about this other girl not texting me back or something. Feels shitty. And it was like, 3 weeks ago.
>All these fake "robots' that are on friendly enough terms with some girls to have their numbers and text with them
Complete normies/failed normies. All of you.
Not cringe as in "I'm the cringey one", but cringe as in "I physically cringed."
This is the moment I finally realize my ex is not the person I want to be having friendly conversations with. She fucking asked people to take pictures of me of the walls at the school I used to attend, that she now attends.
It was all done via text message, and I have an old flip phone, so no posting screenshots, so I'll just summarize.
>incredibly depressed lately
>spent first 72 hours of 2016 in observation after cutting my wrist and calling the ambulance at what I thought was the last possible minute so my rotting corpse wouldn't stink up the place
>came back, no one noticed (live alone, everyone works, not unusual to not hear from me for a few days)
>texting a qt I like
>she's flirting hard
>start getting depressed in the middle of the conversation
>start spilling my guts about how much I want to die
>the poor girl who just wanted to get some dick actually stayed up all night texting me and still made plans for a date the next day
>cancelled those plans a half hour before we were supposed to go out, made a bullshit reason but really I was just too mopey to go out
>still too mopey and embarrassed to talk to her
>so I start flirting with another qt
>and the same shit happens, except she had the sense to just stop texting back
And here I am now. This was all over the span of this weekend. Second qt stopped talking about six hours ago.
Well, it's OK if you do cringey shit when you're 18. Shit, when I was 19, I was the "nice guy/beta boyfriend" whose gf left him for another guy.
Then I learned the truth about dating, and how being a "nice guy" will get you nowhere.
Let it be a learning experience for you. All men have to go through it at some point in order to improve. Just don't let that kind of shit continue into your 20s.
This isn't me, but it's still some hardcore, OC cringe
who else /goodattextingbutawkwardirl/ here
won a girl over FB and got her number and we texted each other for weeks. Then we met in person and broke it off immediately. If only I could act in person the same way I can over text.
It's not just about the feels man
I dug this one out of a three year old text conversation just for you guys. I don't know why I thought showing my robot power level was a good idea...
>inb4 having friends
They hung around me out of pity.
This girl literally always just vented to me about her problems.
Of course the "problems" she had were just that she accidently had sex with guys while drunk at parties, cheated on her boyfriend and got broken up with, etc..
>I'll want to analyse tonight objectively just for research purposes
oh shit nigga what are you doing
>I think I'll be fine :^)
anon holy shit I'm sorry but I am laughing so fucking hard at the spaghetti spilling here omg
Confession: Anons I used to ask girls to make me punch myself in the nuts. I saved screenshots of the conversations. I did this hundreds of times... try to imagine my shame.
Eh not that bad in hindsight
first message and every other message after that is mine
the rest are hers
It didn't matter anyway tbqh, as soon as a girl says "Mhm" it's clear she's going through the motions. Last time I talked to a girl I liked who said that she ended up dating my friend who was cheating on her the whole time
What the fuck am I reading seriously what the hell is going on
I've sent extraordinarily-lengthy tomes of text to multiple girls in the past full of autistic and cringeworthy shit. The only thing I can do now is reflect on my immature and naive past self, and be glad that since I've grown up, I won't ever allow myself to act in that manner again.
wew lad what was I thinking
some context: I pretended to be a girl and asked other girls to say some keyword to make me kick or punch my 'friend' in the nuts. In reality each time they said the keyword I would punch myself in the nuts. Will post more patheticness if there's interest.
I sent a suicide note to my ex, it wasn't supposed to read like one but it came out sounding stupid and crazy, or at least I hope it didn't, sounded like I'd given up hope and was making amends, I tried to say how I wanted to change my perspective and grow up blah blah blah shit I knew he'd really like. Then I confessed and said I really liked him, and I hope he would message me back. Thing is, I've been messaging him for months now and the only time he replies is when he wants to, which is like 2 times a month at best. He even turned me down last time I tried to bring this up but I just got awkward and danced around the subject and never brought it up again, he must have thought I got the messsage, I did but I figured some time passed so I best try my luck again. I know it's not gonna happen though because he didn't even wish me a happy birthday or merry christmas, I knew he was online and everything he just didn't want to make it seem like he wanted anything to do with me, he wanted to shake me off like I was a rat. and I am so crazily in love with him </3 at least your girl has the decency to message you back and just straight up turn you down, I'm sick of this dancing around waiting for his response, I'm just setting myself up to be let down.
>mfw the 'ey girl you want sum fuck' method turned out to be legit
Getting so much further with dumb funny shittexts than I ever did trying to have a meaningful conversation.
This one made me really hard and angry. 'Shark' is the nutshot keyword again.
Are you guys retarded
>send a white girl a recent instagram video
>preferably something with DJ khaled
>they will always respond positively
>hit them with another one
>type in another one as a message
>this is where the DJ khaled part would have helped you son
>stop sending messages
>repeat a week later
>ask her if she wants to go party
how can you guys even still be trying that actual talking shit.
I friend zoned him six years ago on multiple occasions, but he never gave up hope. Gave up trying, but still liked everything I post on social media since then, just to remind me that he's quietly waiting. I decided to give him a chance and our second date is soon. I really like him a lot now and I wish I did this sooner.
Just found all out interactions ever, tons are cringeworthy. In my defense it was high school. Will post more upon request.
m8 i've done so many cringes i don't know why i'm alive anymore
BECAUSE WE DONT KNOW HOW TO TALK TO WOMEN
So I cant print screen it cause I deleted messages a while back (and i think i need to message him again for them to appear)
but it went something along these lines
(this was also years ago)
me: Heey~! So you like anime? Would you like to go to a con with me that we're having not to far away?
him: Do I know you?
me: Uhm, no, but I have noone else to go with
you're a bitch wtf why did you never date him? what did he do so wrong besides probably not looking like a chad? how can you even stand to look at him now if oyu couldn't before you stupid worthless slut
I had a brief friendship and an even briefer time with her but she had abandonment issues and couldn't handle talking if it didn't mean we were talking all day every day
it sucks because she was really cool besides that and I really did care about her.
She was also suicidal for a while, at least she acted like it. It was really messed up and she'd try to force me to talk to her with shit like that, but when I didn't talk to her she wouldn't end up doing anything. I let it go on for a while before it got to me though. I feel bad for her because she doesn't realize that she's doing it as far as I can tell.
Sorta sounds like me but I wasn't that needy. I just send him lots of messages and know he'll reply eventually, but lately he doesn't respond for months at a time, as if he's trying to tell me something without actually telling me...
he phased me out, it sucks, I wanna die but I can't tell him any of that because
so yeah I don't tell him that obviously but I was just so fed up I needed to tell him all that. I know he thinks I'm cool but he probably also thinks I'm a disgusting sperg freak with no friends who is sad all the time. I don't even deserve a guy of his calibre lol again sorry for how retarded and clingy our types are apparently
Oh and it wasn't brief, we dated for a year and a half, weren't really friends but I would have liked to been, he was really cool but I was very emotionally disturbed and socially stunted that it makes sense he'd eventually move on to better girls. It's not even like I'm the only or even one of the better girls. I just fucking know for a fact that I never wanted anyone except him, and it's not just the fact that he was the first or I already had him but because HIM THE PERSON IS SO PERFECT AND AWESOME IT SUCKS SO MUCH WAH
>tell him all that
by that I should specify, what my note was about, it never mentioned suicide or wanting to die, just how worthless I feel and how low energy I've always felt, how I let myself get beat up by my feelings and how most people are just causing their own problems, myself included, and that I admit fault in what I did to myself. It was just a confessional about that and then a huge apology about how he's really sweet and kind and funny and never deserved me and he's gonna go on to do great things and I always love him. See how that would come across as a suicide note though? it could be read like that, I just hope he does get my point, he's pretty smart but it seems like he wants to be done with me. feels bad man.
WINNER WINNER COOL
You don't sound as bad, and I don't see a problem with not having many friends, I know how it feels. People with tons of friends don't make sense to me really
I can relate there too, I was hung up on someone I dated briefly a few years ago. We were really good together, at least it seemed like it to me. It's been rough but lately I think I've gotten past it. I think the roughest part of it is accepting that her and I probably will never talk again. When I think about her a lot some of it comes back, but im more optimistic than I was a while ago.
yeah, it didn't sound too bad to me but I can see how it might come across that way. I had a few problems that caused continuing problems for myself as well, but u think I've made some progress at least, which is something.
>I think I'll be fine
Holy fucking autism batman
Thanks man, I feel like I'm just reading way too much into it and thinking he hates me and is bored of me, which he might be now, but he did genuinely show interest for a bit and I can't even remember what I did but I scared him off again. And probably my defeatist attitude and general hatred of the masses and asocialness wasn't his thing, he was the type who liked to go to shows and drink with his buddies and he probably even goes to clubs and bars. I don't really know, I saw him tagged in a picture once with this rreeeeaaallly normie bunch of norms, chads and stacy's to the extreme which really weirded me out because he's such a nerd lol. He's moving up in the world :'( gotta let him fly I guess.
>a few years ago
>We were really good together, at least it seemed like it to me
>accepting that her and I probably will never talk again
>When I think about her a lot some of it comes back, but im more optimistic than I was a while ago.
those are the parts I could relate to, like our situations are really eerily similar. Apart from being optimistic, I never was one for optimism, but it does hurt a lot less than it first did. The only problem was when I was actually finally starting to get over him, I managed to take one last stab at it and fell even deeper for him. Probably because I'm older now but probably also because I know I can't have him. At least I know I can survive it, probably, if my heart doesn't break completely.
It's weird, you type like him too, except for the friend thing, he's always been more normie and charming than me, I was actually surprised by how smooth he is at making friends. You and I should have hooked up instead, we could be loner introverts together. :p in a perfect world
you're telling me,
>The only problem was when I was actually finally starting to get over him, I managed to take one last stab at it and fell even deeper for him.
That mirrors my experience exactly.
I only recently started feeling optimistic at all, it's a rarity for me. I always hated the thought of getting over her too, but that was just an excuse to hold on to the feelings for longer. It's hard for me to find someone who genuinely can understand how I think. By that I mean that I think I have an abnormal way of looking at things, and thinking in general.
DUDE JUST TELL ME YOU'RE HIM AND WE CAN BE TOGETHER AT LAAAAST
;_; why couldn't you have just asked "are you talking about an S and are you an N?" even though I know he doesn't come here lel I feel for you anon, I really, truly, do :'((
yeah wtf that is not awkward, I would have laughed, and I am a grill, she's just retarded it's a good thing you didn't have to waste anymore time on her, she's probably showing those messages to her dumb stacy normie friends and laughing their ass off "at the poor autist"
Dude, I'm gonna help you out if you're still looking in the thread.
DONT MENTION YOU GO TO A THERAPIST
My current gf and I laugh about the dude she went on a couple dates with before we got together. He literally told her "I mentioned you to my therapist". Now I'm not one to bash people for going to a therapist (cause I've been before) but that sets of fucking huge red flags for people you just met.
>please go out with me
Jesus Christ you sound like a whiny needy bitch, the best way IMO is to make your small talk, tease them, then after a day or two ask them to grab a bite to eat. Alternatively slowing stop talking to them and one day even forgot to so you can see if they respond. Bitches love getting neglected. Just don't ask a bitch to be your gf over text in general lol.
This was my first attempt at flirting with this girl. Her only response was "lol" so I just never responded
>I think I'll be fine :)
omg what an absolute cunt to not want to listen to some random stranger squelching off to the thought of him, how dare he decline.
Tbh of some random woman told me she was touching herself to the thought of me I'd probably gag all over the floor and then take her to court over sexual harassment.
>I really like you but I think of you as more of a friend than anything else :)
This some kind of universal copy pasta women like to use to put betas down when they try come near you.
watch out, second best hacker of all time coming through
>its normies who couldnt get laid cos lol autism XD reddit thread
Fuck you normies
16 year old me was ultra chad apparently
She was and still is a hambeast anyway
I stumbled upon a thread I made 9 years ago, back when I was a teenager. Why did I make a post about this? I don't even remember what comment level one is.
>I was on vacation somewhere and as I was finishing a purchase in some small swimwear outfitter.
>polite chit chat with qt cashier girl, she ended with "enjoy your holiday" and I was like "Y-YOU TOO"
>did a whole body cringe, and cursed 4chan under my breath for all those you too meme threads a while back.
Jesus Christ on a bicycle that's good.
>tfw female friend randomly sends screenshots of her sexting a guy just like this
>tfw they're doing dirty af kitty play
>tfw she says that she thinks he's pathetic and only plays along because it amuses her
so its normal to buy a 10 pack of nips (shot bottles) every single night and drink every last one? after 3 bouts with pneumonia and still smoking cigarettes? at 60 years old?
learn to work with silence in conversations. it not only makes you look interesting if you play it off well, it also gives you the opportunity to analyze the current situation/collocutor rather than concentrating on not to fuck up verbally.
>you used the word please
Kekeke cuck, she would have been totaly in love withyou to even consider.
Cucked by yourself
Please, please, please, please
Fuck, i would be rather virgin forever
not sure if it really applies here, but every time I think of it I cringe
>be in sixth form
>finally independent, earning money etc. but still living at home
>get home one day early
>decide to order pizza for lunch
>order from pizza hut for some reason even though domino's is way better
>it arrives and tastes like shit, fucking awful pizza
>only had a few bites, the entire rest is left
>can't put it in the bin because my parents will wonder why a whole damn pizza is there and start banging on to me about wasting money and eating shit etc.
>come up with genius idea
>food is organic, so it decomposes right? why not just bury it in the flower bed?
>do just that, really pleased with myself
>next morning at breakfast I look out the window and see the flower beds torn up
>probably a fox or something smelt it and dug it up
>shit myself thinking it probably wouldn't have eaten it all, so my dad probably came downstairs this morning, saw a dug up flower bed with pizza all around it and probably put 2 and 2 together and must have realised that I buried some pizza for whatever reason
>never say anything and he never says anything
>still haunts me thinking that he must know I buried some pizza in the flower beds one time
>sneak food into the bathroom to eat it so my mother doesn't judge me
>over the years I've left cans of iced tea, chocolate wrappers, and a box of half-eaten donuts by the shitter
>drop credit card twice while paying, spend about a minute trying to pick it up off the floor, cash fell out my wallet too
Really wish I knew how to avoid shit like this. Happens to me all the time.
It really feels good knowing I could pull some of these lines off in the right context. Maybe not the "OMG XD" garbage, because everyone knows that's gay.
But some of these aren't too bad. Keep working at it r9k
I'll play devil's advocate here. Unless this girl is your devoted, love-of-your-life sort of girl, you probably don't want to indicate you care about her feelings.
It's a fast track to getting played out in some capacity. However, like I mentioned, if she the one then probably a good move
>I don't usually do this but would you like to go out with me some time?
>9 months later no reply
Asked her out because she was constantly looking at me and turning away when I moved my head. Other times she started laughing at terrible jokes I made and called me a nice person even though I barely talked to her.
Ask in person, you know how much easier it is to say no to someone over a keyboard, right?
Also, don't just "ask her out." Although you didn't specify in your story, definitely have some game plan laid out, so when she says yes, you don't look like a sperg asking "well, uhh, what do you want to do?"
On to the next one bro. Also, I forgot to mention that you'd best omit the "I never do this" part. Although I know you mean it as a sincere and flattering remark, women get really suspect about that nonsense.
However difficult, you need to project that she's lucky that you're asking her out, and not in the "I don't do this sort of thing way." It needs to be in the "I go out with tons of women" way and this is her shot to please.
Despite what many people probably want to believe, there's definitely a noticeable power dynamic in a relationship. I think you probably handled this ok, but you don't want to give the impression of getting too smitten too early.
I'll also qualify this with I have no idea how your relationship is nor do I know your gf, so you may have handled this flawlessly for all I know.
If you give her the "I can't sleep if you're mad" vibe, then you could turn that against you because women are vicious creatures.
Oh god I did something exactly like this, thanks for reminding me why I hate myself OP.
Optimistic side of this is that you told this girl you wanted to talk with her and she cared enough to follow up on it.
Depending on her reaction to your spaghetti, you may be able to salvage the situation. If she's into you, you probably got her hopes up, and then you crashed them; this potentially makes her more interested or less interested if you do this nonsense all the time.
>Back in highschool when I was kissless virgin
>have just discovered the wonderful internet
>watched shovel dog or something similar night before
>Talking to my friend about it
>QT walks up to talk to us, she's eyeing me down
>shes touching her hair and smiling
>She listens to me go on about horrible shock videos
>she frowns, walks off
>I didn't realize how autistic I was being until after it happend
That was almost a decade ago. The ghost of my autism still haunts me.
Daily reminder that the person you were 10 years ago, 5 years ago, last year, or even yesterday is not you.
That was quite literally a different person who made different decisions than what you would make today, thought differently, and even looked differently. He was even made of a different set of cells than you are.
The buddhists figured this out like centuries ago, where are you faggots in 2016?
women EXPECT this out of men anon
I have friends (who happen to be women) who have tinder accounts JUST to get compliments and feel good about themselves
if you went on she'd just keep using you as a compliment bank
i am so embarrassing, time to end it all pls
>"it's not you it's me"
>aka "okay i dont care about you anymore bye"
>At work a couple of days ago
>It's finally breaktime
>Brought some microwaveable food (don't know what it is called in English)
>Microwave looks like it doesn't have a button to open the microwave door
>I stand there in counfusion looking like a retard
>Female coworker comes by and asks "Have you ever used a microwave before?"
>I mention something about my microwave having a huge button that is easily visible.
>She presses on this fucking invisible thing that you would never guess was a button.
>People already think of me as an idiot
I fucking hate this shit.
>tfw at gym
>have headphones on
>cleaning lady says good morning
>I wanted to say, good and yours
>I end up slurring "you too"
In response to this post a bunch of normalfags made fun of this guy for being an autist. If you replied to this post negatively you are a normie YOLOswag cunt and should consider suicide.
Fucking normies PLEASE GO you have literally every other site on the internet to yourself FUCK
I don't have a phone and haven't texted or spoken to a girl outside of class/work in six years. But I know there are some supreme-beta cringe moments in my kikebook messages from high school (they're the only thing in there since I stopped using it shortly after). I'm too scared to look for it though.
Last time I tried reading through that outbox I had a panic attack and started crying.
same here, man. having first browsed 4chan during my freshman year of high school, I thought I was really edgy and memed pretty often, but memes weren't all that often used on 'lehappymerchant'book so I was pretty autistic.