Old Thread >>26156330
New GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive:
Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives:
Recap of previous thread's large updates:
AnalPlug's Applejack date rape and marriage contd >>26160876
LaP washy washy contd >>26166937
Anon + Rara fashion show >>26170504
Moondancer summons Incubus Anon contd >>26176779
Anon + Rara fashion show pt 2 >>26179459
Comfy contd >>26182851
Since I deleted it, would you enlighten me? Why did I do this exactly?
Because of the shitfest that was the previous thread. This is the kind of fanfiction-esque garbage that's killing the fandom. Everyone needs to calm down and watch something else during the hiatus, or we'll destroy ourselves before the new season airs.
Or you could just shut your shithole and NOT shitpost a thread into oblivion because you don't like a particular thing. But that's asking to much isn't it?
>Everyone needs to calm down and blah blah blah
No, you need to calm down, maybe go watch something else during the hiatus. You're certainly not contributing anything worthwhile here.
What can I say... You didn't exactly capture my motivations. I did it for the cheap thrill of giving some anons the feeling of being relevant, and then yanking in back again.
>This is the kind of fanfiction-esque garbage that's killing the fandom.
I have no idea what this means.
>Everyone needs to calm down and watch something else during the hiatus, or we'll destroy ourselves before the new season airs.
For some reason I'm inclined to believe that you are not one of the local artdykes. So shoo! Off you go. Watch... Burn Notice? It's good.
So, what do you sisters think about the more serious problems in our society?
What do you think... about battered stallions ans stallion-beaters?
Can a truly egalitarian Equestria be built? The catbirds sure have that one nailed down.
What about... truly equal?
I keep thinking about RGRE with regards to equestrian demons.
I keep imagining a warlock or some adventurer who has the ability to summon an archdemon getting thrown to equestria, and the first thing they try to do is summon that demon.
Instead they get a thin, armored, bat winged and horned horse demon that remarks that she has not seen a colt in armor before, and sticks around out of curiosity.
Is that cardboard box his safe room?
I like this. We need more sweet, low key green around here
>Because you're replying two days to late
At least I'm not a failed abortion. Learn to English, nigger.
Normally I'd demand a lewd little sister green, but this is too cute for that.
It's because you didn't put Luna into Anon's herd, mostly. And the fact that Shining has someone other than Cadance in his at all is a problem. Nobody wants to see their waifu in a herd that isn't Anon's.
Another reason is that Glim Glam would probably herd with Anon over Shining, because Twilight is her only friend. She feels very shoehorned into Shining's herd for no real reason, which is strange to see in your stories as they're normally so well defined and whatnot.
Honestly, it feels like it's missing that spark that your other stories have.
That said, I'm still enjoying it. I just think you could have made better choices about how to handle the herding, along with a handful of other things. The overall premise is still amusing.
Unrelatedly, I'm also a little salty that Anon didn't join them, because I'm a massive tabletop nerd.
I already said my piece in the other thread, but I just 'realised' something...
The pictures for the story?
They aren't commissioned for this story. Which means LaP is writing AROUND someone else's idea of a game night. Which is fine, I've got no problems with that whatsoever (I also don't really mind who is herding with what). But it does mean that the characters haven;t been chosen by LaP.
I don't think those pictures had anything to do with a "game night" so much as nerdy unicorns being cute/nerdy in the vicinity of each other. They were a clear inspiration for the story and the characters involved though, that much is obvious.
Mend your fences using the ponies!
And duct tape, lots of duct tape.
Box stallion is in a box.
More stallions should be inside boxes.
Catbirds can't afford boxes, which means they are inferior.
>Be Lusty Tang, Succubus pony.
>Summoned to who knows where by probably minotaurs?
>No hooves, but similar general shape
>Your dick-sense is tingling
Your dick sense is your candyvag
>These things must be stallions!
"Hey there cuties, did you dress up just for me?"
Your waifu belongs where I put it, Anon.
Just be thankful she isn't paired with a shit-elemental from the elemental plane of sewerage.
Because as a writefag, I can make it happen.
Anon will get revenge on them for leaving him out of the /tg/ later.
Sure, why not.
>Be Anon in Equestria.
>At fancy party because Twilight sperged so hard trying to pick a plus one that she got free tickets for all her friends
>It's boring as fuck
>Snooty ponies are being snooty and dull
>Most of the food is inedible to humans, fucking ponies and their hay
>You sneak out of the party and play vidya on your phone until it's over.
Glasses for the herd.
You're going to have to dedicate yourself to reading through it if you want to catch up. Maybe not read all the posts and stories just because they're there. That's what I'm having to do.
Actually, I thought Rarity and Twilight were the only confirmed glasses-wearers.
Screw you, tree of harmony. Maybe if you want a team of magical super friends you shouldn't fill up half your roster with adulterous sociopaths.
>tfw no abusive gf
You sound like one of those pervy mares I've been warned about. Stay away.
I was thinking more about how we normally characterize all the warrior demon lords and such as male, and most of the demons are based on a male figure. The female demons are all sexy female succubi.
Apply RGRE, and the intimidating archdemons are the female demons, and the seducer types are the incubi.
So the female equestrian demons would be the powerful muscular warrior mares, summoned for combat, and the male demons in RGRE horseland are hugely endowed incubi that mares draw porn about.
>"Anawn, I ain't too sure about this."
"What's wrong, Applejack?"
>"Yer supposed to be the one wearing the lingerie, not me!"
"But you look so sexy in them! Besides, you said tonight you'd do whatever I want. Remember?"
>tfw you will never emaresculate your waifu by making her wear lingerie.
It's a bad feeling.
What if Coco Pommel made you some nice manly underwear?
"Finally! Someone gets it right! No frills or unnecessary skimpiness!"
>Coco blushes at your praise, "I-It was nothing, really."
"Trust me, it isn't. Whenever I asked Rarity to make me underwear it always bordered on lingerie or it straight up WAS lingerie."
>"I just copied the design you gave me." she protested.
"Which Rarity always threw out because 'she knew better'."
>You shake your head.
"Anyways, here's your payment."
>You reach into your pocket and pull out your bits, which you hand to the tiny mare.
>With that, you leave the blushing Earth pony to begin your long trek back to Ponyville.
Needs more Zecora
She's unlikely to get much green due to her speaking method.
>Anon meets Ziccy and they discuss the finer points of poetry
>Nopony was brave enough because they thought it would be CULTURALLY INSENSITIVE
>Mentions that writing iambic pentameter is the easiest shit
>Zecora tries out and switches over happy as fuck
>tfw Zecora walks everywhere and rhymes twice as much to everypony liek some zigger Shakespeare
>You will never be kind of confused when your waifu starts gently pushing your chest over and over
>You will never be unsure of how to respond when she yells at you about cuddling and talking with other mares
>You will never wake up to find that your waifu refuses to give you your morning snuggles
>You will never only get two goodbye kisses when she goes to work
>You will never be surprised when your waifu gives you surprise hugs and tells you to "take it"
You're saying... I shouldn't be doing all these things?..
holy shit santa
Can I quote you on that?
Sure, I mean a mare needs to be able to expect their stallions to deal with things like cooking or cuddling when they get home from a hard days work.
I'm not saying it should immediately escalate to discipline but if he on multiple occasions won't take 30 minutes to cook or if they consistently refuse to cuddle then lessons have to be learned.
This why you're herdless, you say bullshit like this!
Negative reinforcement does nothing! I know it may seem like spoiling them, but you gotta offer him prizes and treats when he behaves! That's the best way to make a lesson stick. Keep at it, and soon he'll be cuddling without being prompted and dinner will never be late.
Yeah, that is needed sometimes.
But sis! intermittent positives need the regular negatives!
This. You have to understand that a stallion's mind doesn't work like a mare's. They need simpler instructions and obvious positive reinforcement. Dinner is on time? Make sure to praise them. Unprompted snuggles? Tell them over and over how much you love them. If you reward them too late (eg going down on them hours several hours after their good behaviour happens), then their minds don't connect the event to the reward; the same goes for punishment.
I KNOW WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING
You're with that harp dyke, right? Buck, mare, do whatever you want. If she's a real mare, then she can take it.
Well, we're together, but we are without a stallion, for what, two years?...
On one hand, with the life we lead right now it's not exactly possible to settle down and have foals and a big, happy herd, so we're not actively looking.
On the other... sometimes you miss it. The quiet happiness, the full bed.
Makes me wonder, was it the... job, or was it me? Who drove us apart?
At least nothing can happen to him while we're not together. This gives me some solace.
Let's just drop all pretence and make this a general for role-playing as mares who want to fuck stallions.
Am I doing this right, g-girls??
Also, not all of us are mares here, you know!
I keep feeling like such a failure…
I started herding with this green guy, right? He's big, tall, and walks on two legs. If you've ever been to Ponyville, you've probably seen him once or twice.
So, I put him in the sack, as is tradition (I'm a mud-pony, buck off), and as soon as we get back to my place and the gals, he starts screaming. I think he was saying something about 'kidnapping,' but there aren't even any goats living in this part of Equestria.
So, I'm on the spot, right? The girls just keep giving me this look. I try and calm him down, tell him that it's time to make dinner, and that the tantrums are really unnecessary. Then he just seemed to get mad. It was really embarrassing with the girls standing there and all, so I did the first thing I could think to do and disciplined him. Honestly, I'd never seen a colt react like that to herding before.
I don't really know what happened next, but I think I was in the hospital. Since then, it's been nothing but a struggle. He never cooks, and we have to keep dragging him out of the bedroom. He never wears any of the clothing we give him, he never wants to interact with the other colts when we take him to the park, and he keeps running away to Princess Sparkle's castle. If this keeps happening, I'm honestly considering legal action against her. She needs to be brought back down a peg anyways.
I'm at my wit's end, and I think my second is gonna try to usurp the alpha position soon! What should I do?
You did the right thing, Sweetie. Sometimes, you have to know when to say "goodbye".
Well, Colt Problems, you need to up your game a bit. I sympathise, I really do. These modern colts are really only a problem if you let them be. Society says that they can get a job now, but there's no LAW in place that forces you to let them out of the house, you see what I mean? You mention discipline, but I don't think you're going far enough. Ponies these days may frown upon it, but with this recent uprising of "strong independent stallions", you should use your freakish mud-pony strength to really make those lessons stick. Maybe if he has trouble walking for a few days he'll think twice before he talks back to you.
Colt Problems, you're the Alpha in this herd. It's time to act like it.
Firm Hoof of Colt Conundrums relationship advice column
Oh wow, a response from Firm Hoof, I feel so honored!
I think you're right, but I hate that it's true. I've always been a carrot over stick alpha, but tolerating this behavior isn't gonna get us anywhere.
>>26191415 said it earlier, and I really didn't want to have to agree with her, but gelding's probably the best solution. It's like he's a breeding stallion, and if this behavior continues he might injure one we bring in! We can wait a few more months to scratch the estrus itch.
I plan on taking him to get the procedure done tomorrow, assuming he doesn't try to run away again. Maybe I'll finally be able to rest easy tomorrow...
Yeah, alright. I just realized I didn't update the pastebin, so I was just... trying to post it all here. Ah well.
I'll just update the bin after everything, I guess?
Of course! Firm Hoof always makes time for her mares in need. You made the right choice, Colt Problems. It's hard, I know, and nopony wants to hear noises a colt makes during and/or after the gelding procedure. When this is all said and done, your colt will be grumpy for a few days, but he'll come 'round, more docile and obedient than ever before. Oh, and a tip from an Alpha that's dealt with more than one problem colts: make sure the stallion is unconscious before he knows where you're taking him. Ideally, the first time he know he's been gelded is after the gelding itself has taken place.
Good luck, Colt Problems.
Firm Hoof of Colt Conundrums relationship advice column
A general that should've died with 'ponies aroused by anon's physique'.
>Castrating the protected sex that is already so few in numbers that herding is a necessity
Christ even grimderp societies in the middle east/Africa that treat women like actual property only circumcise females to prevent them from being whores they don't actually make them infernal. Cause that's fucking retarded and a good way to harm your legacy. And there isn't even a gender despairity in the middle east/Africa.
At least make your edgy circle-jerk make sense.
What's the point in a colt if not to become pregnant and create offspring, it's not logical to geld them.
If you want pleasure just use a mare.
I like the word despairity. A disparity so severe that it leads to despair.
>>26191799 >>26191415 >>26191703
Even if all stallions aren't needed to reproduce, they still carry the genes of some successful mare of old. Fuck the most docile stallion there is => get a cocksock daughter.
>Goes from ponies adorably cuddling and hugging as being seen as abusive to roleplayers one uping each other in a shitty edge off advocating beating and fucking castration
>Once cute prompt now ruined because refugees from 'Ponies call Anon's penis small thread' need something to fuel their self abuse fetish
Would you fags just fuck off and go shitpost in SiM like all the other femdom fags
English may not be my first language, but I know bullshit when I read it.
Seriously this role playing is reaching near cancerous levels next you'll be telling me that we're making an IRC.
Also the mods are usually pretty lenient in some aspects, but frequently role playing and avatarfagging may lead to the entire thread getting killed cause of a few faggots.
Don't feed them, Pluggo.
We're not an rp thread, so who cares.
And it certainly isn't the rp that is nearing cancer levels. It's the public. It is always the anon.
the thread will not ie if something doesn't get posted for 10 mins
>You are Anon, unwilling herd member and general hell-raiser.
>You belong to a herd consisting of ponies whose identities are not important at this time.
>What IS important is that ever since they kidnapped you, you've done your best to make your stay there absolute HELL for them.
>Right now, you're chilling with your best bro: Caramel.
>Blue-mare was kind enough to give you something called a "colt tag", which you guess is magical GPS tracking, or something like that.
>Green-mare is the herd's eye in the sky, keeping track of you from the comforts of her cloud.
>So, back to Caramel: he was having herd troubles as well.
>"So I said, 'I've had enough of you crazy bitches!'"
>He leans against you, exhausted.
>"It had been nothing but three days of non-stop cooking and cleaning and... one of them wanted me to... you know..."
>He blushes and leans in close to whisper.
>"Put it in their plothole."
>Caramel relaxes into his seat on the park bench and happily feeds some birds.
>"But then they took me in for a gelding, and I've been feeling MUCH better."
>Your heart skips a beat, and you start to break out into a sweat.
"Wait, gelding? What do you mean, gelding?"
>"You know, the removal of... certain parts. Sometimes mares do that to their herd-colt if he's acting up too much."
>He looks away from you, embarrassed.
>"It's my fault, really. If I had just done what they said, they wouldn't have had to do something about it."
>Slowly; very slowly, you look up towards green-mare, who waves at you.
>The next day, your herd-mares are pleasantly surprised to see that your behaviour has improved drastically.
>You do the dishes on time, you make DAMN sure your cooking isn't burnt, and you even fuck red-mare up the ass every single time she asks you to.
>Caramel, meanwhile, is now 100 bits richer courtesy of your herd-mares.
>You gullible fuck.
I mean if your not wearing pants they'd just kinda be hanging there. All the time just one look at them walking away would do it. Hell if nudity is the normal it might not even be considered rude to look.
No no no, that goes against several indecency laws. The mares wouldn't be able to control themselves with that hot colt-on-colt action in the streets.
>"That's right, you slut. Grope harder. Give him a good rubbing."
>Anon thought it was GPS
>It was actually ID with his address written on it in case he got lost and a pony found him.
>"If found, please return to 539 Wonderbolt Lane. His name is Anon and his herd misses him very, very much."
>This is still marshmallow ponyland where colt-beating is where your mare lightly slaps your chest and doesn't give you a goodbye-kiss before she leaves for work
>Kidnapping women, raping and forcing them to do manual labor is ok as long as you don't rip off their ovaries.
It would had been ok if you had played it for laughs. Which you did, really.
I just wasn't funny.
jesus, calm your shit
I get that you were triggered by the whole castration thing, but analplug was pretty obviously attempting to defuse the shittiness of that prompt by reframing it in a comedic way
you dont need to get so buttflustered about it, goddamn
I feel you, but analplug wasnt the guy who crossed that line. if anything he was trying to put that particular genie back in its bottle by writing a short green where castration wasn't *actually* on the table. I'm just saying your guy's anger is misdirected.
personally I found the whole castration thing just as grody and uncomfortable as anyone else who doesn't have that very specific fetish would, but I appreciated that analplug undermined it the way he did. left me with less of a gross taste in my mouth.
But getting buttflustered about things on the internet is fun.
What a sad state of affairs that some newfag asshole named after a butt-stuffer is what's keeping a thread alive.
No kidding. Worst part is, I can spot it a mile away when it isn't happening to me.
>No, you're right. Before I started writing, I never actually went on 4chan.
Where did you come from? Where do people from 4Chan come from?
How the hell did I came to be here, in /mlp/?
>be Anon, dungeon looter extraordinaire
>stomp a bunch of lame slimes
>the ponies claimed this dungeon was horribly dangerous
>lol oh those horses
> reach the treasure room
>hand rubbing intensifies
>suddenly a huge figure enters the room
>it's a minotaur with big fat minotits
"Oh hello haha. Uhh..you can have the treasure. I can't really spend it while dead"
>go to leave but she puts a hand on your chest
>"You said I could have the booty. So why are you leaving?"
>oh gosh, what a pickle you've gotten yourself into Anon
>the horses told you treasure hunting was too dangerous for a colt but you didn't listen
>Ponies worry about Anon, but they know he's already dead; or worse.
>Sometimes, when the moon is high and you're down-wind from the dungeon, you can still hear Anon's tortured screams as a tauress gently makes love to him.
Haven't done nothing but lurk this place for a while but...
>What a sad state of affairs that some newfag asshole named after a butt-stuffer is what's keeping a thread alive
Ya know I never thought of it like that.... yeah I'm out
It's cool dude. By and large you contribute to the thread, and do so in a way that people enjoy. Yeah, your newfag shows when you get baited but we've all got our blind spots. Just learn from it and keep posting.
Looking forward to reading your next bit.
>Day fucknuggets in Equestria
>Be fleeing tiny horse land with Birdwaifu.
>You two are gonna open up a business when you get to catbird land!
>You've got a jar of Earth catnip, and you plan on making a mint growing the stuff!
>Maybe you'll find someone who can get this damn collar off.
>Only a few miles away from the border, just one stop left.
>Feeling pretty good.
>Suddenly, you hear some commotion coming from the end of the car.
>"Ladies! Please, you can't board without a ticket!"
You see THEM board.
Red, green, and blue all get on the train.
>Green seem to be in the middle of a shouting match, blue's horn is glowing, and red looks really worried.
>"Nonny!? Sweetie, are you here?!" she shouts.
>FUCK FUCK FUCK
>Bird wife grabs you by the wrist and starts pulling you in the opposite direction.
>"C'mon, we gotta hide you!"
>Duck into the next car over, and hide with her inside one of the bathrooms.
>You hear the sound of frantic hooves on the floors outside the door.
>"Check the bathroom! She could be hiding in there with him!"
>Birdwife looks petrified.
>A magic aura encases the lock.
>If you get caught, she goes down for coltnapping and you have to go back to cleaning dishes.
>You must summon humanity's greatest arcane asset!
>A great and terrible art, said to have destroyed many a mighty kingdom…
>You raise your arm up high.
>You hope that your ancestors may forgive you…
>You make a farting noise with your arm.
>"On second thought, let's check the next car down."
>"What if it's him though?!"
>"Don't be stupid! Colts don't poop!"
Not durnk, but I'm definitely drunk. Shit post is shitpost.
>be Anon, former treasure hunter
>currently chained nude in the Minotauress' chamber
>over the last few weeks you've made friends with a big pack rat that comes in to eat the bread crumbs you drop
>decide to name him blue
>you begin to formulate an escape plan
>Minotits always leaves her keys on a table nearby
>finally ready to strike
>Minotits is asleep and the keys are sitting right there in the open
>you nod to blue
>GO FOR THE EYES BLUE, GO FOR THE EYES! AAAAHHHH!
>blue runs away
>Minotits slaps you for waking her up
>You scrunch your nose up, brow furrowing
>"Now now. You come with me, you give me the coconut oil, yes?"
>"Please. I've been keeping this dungeon safe fro-"
"THAT'S MY PURSE!"
>The tauress starts, eyes going wide
>"....What the tartaru-"
"I DON'T KNOW YOU!"
>She frowns. "Look, I'm not against fucking the mentally handica-HAAAAANNNG"
>She doubles over as your steel-toed boot hits her right in the taco
>No, not the changeling
>It's at home terrifying the neighbor's foals
>She hits the ground with a thud, retching
>You shovel as much she'quels (what ancient ponies called bits back in the day) into your messenger bag as possible
>it's not a man purse!
>YOU JUST CARRY THINGS YOU MIGHT NEED IN THERE
>You deliver another kick to the tauress' side for good measure and start powerwalking out of the dungeon
>There's a uh...huh
>You look down a random hallway that seemed to have spawned since you defeated the miniboss
>There's a treasure on a pedestal, wreathed in light in an otherwise dark room
>I...it seems to be a stubby lump of...gold? With feathers and sparkly things coming out of it
>You have an odd desire to drop your pants and dance
>Yep. When you start getting those urges, it's time to leave
>You pull up your legwarmers of +5 zumba and abscond out of the hallway, slamming into the dungeon entrance doors at full speed
>The cellar doors of the cakes' shop fling open, and you bolt out into the soft orange glow of late afternoon
>"Heya Anon! Didja have fun in my secret place?!"
"Pinkie...please just deposit my weekly checks at the bank. Please?"
>"Aww, but I love the show~"
"Isn't this mildly sexist?"
>"I drop in a 20% bonus if you humor me."
"....25% and you got a deal."
>Today was a work the system kinda day.
>be dungeon tauress
>be on the dungeon's floor, blinded by the immense pain your crotch is on right now.
>You don't know why these kind of things always happen to you.
>You did everything like your momma told you.
>Find an old dungeon, make it all the way to the treasure room and just wait for all of the hot bulls to come to you.
>Males like a strong cow with lots of money, right?
>So why did nothing ever seemed to go you-
>Tears are welling up in your eyes as you're left without breath.
>That goddamned skinny bull just kicked you again, this time in the side.
>Why did all cute guys seemed to hate you.
>You crawl into a ball and start crying, but not because of the pain.
Anon, you brought on the feels unprompted. It's now your responsibility to make the feels good again. TAURESS WAIFU GREEN
On one hand, I suddenly feel bad for the poor cow.
On the other hand, she was trying to rape me and/or take my purse, and I didn't know her.
So really, in conclusion, Carthage must be destroyed in order to make America Great Again.
>tfw you try your hardest to find a qt3.14 little horse to be with forever
>tfw you just can't seem to connect to any that you come across, no matter how hard you try
>tfw you start to get discouraged
>tfw forever alone
>tfw you finally find the one
>She was sitting in the corner of the room quietly
>Though she didn't stand out you feel a warmth in your chest
>tfw you will never work up the courage and walk over and talk to her
>tfw the two of you will never click
>tfw you will never find anyone like this
>you are anon
>you are quite salty after being turned down from a construction job
>cross your arms and sneer at the mare in the hardhat
"You're telling me you won't hire me because I'm male? Come on! It's 2016!"
>"No it's not. It's 1710"
Look, all I did was write about how Pinkie Pie pays her employees - this faget here at >>26193889 took it too far.
all my greens are lighthearted(tm) approved and filled with shenanigans(c).
>Grueling textile jobs and yes even construction jobs could have been taken by anyone willing to work for shit pay even in 1710 rural Colonial America
>Its just that most women either didn't want to or thought they couldn't do it
Its amazing when you examine it how much past and current sexist 'restrictions' are entirely voluntary.
Well, unification happened with the windigo incident, and Discord came after that, messing everything up. Celestia and Luna banished him, and came into power around that time. NMM likely happened not long after that, since it makes the most sense for Luna, newly in power, to fall quickly to being ignored. I guess assuming a new calendar at unification, the current year would be in the early to mid 1020's. Of course, there's no mention of how long it was from unification to Discord, so who knows.
RPfags please leave, you're worse than the satyrfags.
At least they brought stories.
Taco is good at guarding.
Neighbor foals have never once gotten past her.
That's the premise for Anon being a succubus, isn't it.
We need more like that.
Since Celestia got hammered and magically changed all the calendars to be at zero.
It's why modern dates have A.D. next to them - After Drinking.
As opposed to B.C. - Before Celestia (Fucked up all the dates)
>Of course, there's no mention of how long it was from unification to Discord, so who knows
Personally it seems unlikely that Luna and Celestia rose to power a mere 20 years after Unification. Seems too uh.. sudden. Same with discord. After all there had to be established towns and communities fro him to fuck up to even have fun.
What if Anon really WAS a succubus? This could be the reason for why he arrived in Equestria and why all the pones are so attracted to him. Humans are sex-demons to ponies and he doesn't even know it.
Twilight finds an entry on humans in an old monster manual. Chaotic Evil demons from an alternate dimension with patriarchal society that ensnare unwitting mares and makes them into their slaves. Highly magically resistant and masters of subtly these monster don't reveal their true intentions until its too late.
>Anon shows up
>Twilight freaks out when Anon tells her what his home was like
>Tries to warn everyone
>They all think she's being a huge nerd/crazy
>Anon accidentally does things the book says humans do only when Twilight is looking
>Twilight starts to get worried cause Anon showing interest in her
>be anon, having just awoken in a strange place
>surrounded by candles in an otherwise dark room
>you hear a wet slapping sound in the dark
>a cow...no, pony, appears
>she's breathing heavily and incredibly fat
>"Well hello there you demonic thing you"
"Wha...what's going on?"
>"More like what's going IN, amirite?"
>she grins and tries to look seductive
"I don't get it"
>"It is I who called you here to take my virginity"
"I don't know about this"
>"You HAVE to! I'm almost thirty!"
"Well that explains your wizard powers...fine"
>and then they fucked
Pony wears the saddle.
>Anon is into femdom
>Surprisingly, he gets into a relationship with Fluttershy
>She tells fer friends about anon's extremely submissive tendencies
>Her friends wonder how fluttershy of all ponies manages to find such a nice stallion
>Word gets out
>Other mares try to take anon for their selves
>Think he'll be easy to tempt, if he's so submissive that fluttershy could get him, They think that they can take him easily
>Unsurprisingly, anon does not go easily
>Mare's get a kick in the face.
>Mares are confuse
>Anon and birdfu running shop
>anon preparing/restoring some items for sale
>comes across hidden compartment
>finds journal, documenting way to lost Equestrian relics
>After much arguing and enthusiastic make-up sex, convinces birdfu to take vacation to search for it
>alone time for them and possibility of heaps of gold, even if they don't find, still a win
>after a long journey and trials that are actually arduous and bring them closer together than ever, not like those pansy pony trials, they find the lost treasures
>briefly bring up donating to museum
>anon and birdfu stare at each other for a moment before breaking down in laughter
>sell relics to highest bidder
>move into larger home
>mostly retired except for shop run as hobby and occasional treasure hunt for more shinies to sell
>purple pony princess constantly sends indignant letters about how they're just thieves.
>make for fun time, reading them aloud in overly offended voices
>>briefly bring up donating to museum
>>anon and birdfu stare at each other for a moment before breaking down in laughter
>>purple pony princess constantly sends indignant letters about how they're just thieves.
>>make for fun time, reading them aloud in overly offended voices
Having a griffin waifu sounds fun.
Gentle femdom is one of my favorites, but it has to be in a private setting. Like your waifu stroking your hair and telling you how wonderfull you are when you're having a good cry at night.
>Like your waifu stroking your hair and telling you how wonderfull you are when you're having a good cry at night
This is the fist time in my entire life I have ever done the 'HA GAY' laugh unironically. Thank you for giving me that experience, you humongous homosexual.
>Flamboyantly gay Anon goes to RGRE
>Loves both poetry, having a good cries, wearing fashionable cloths all he time, keeping himself well groomed, loves keeping places he lives/visits tidy ,and is great at cooking
>Is considered a Paragon of sallion values
>The stallion mystique is written based off his character
>Mares and stallions alike are shoked when such an influential person is found to be gay
>Like really gay
>Like really really gay
>Like Freddy Mercury gay mixed with Prince gay
>Like moot level gay
>Really fucking gay
>Causes a cultural shift among ponies as mares/stallions reevaluate what traits they actually find attractive/admirable on stallions since so many of the former ones now are attributed to a gay figurehead and most of them are not gay
>A REALLY gay figure
>Anon is so gay that his gayness alone destroys reverse gender roles Equestria
>Yup he actually is that gay
Good job Anon.
>purple pony princess constantly sends indignant letters about how they're just thieves.
I don't see what the deal is. It's the exact same thing Daring Do does, except without the super villain and the ruins were still standing when they left.
>Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle
>In light of your most recent letter, I must assure you that my husband is not a "cunt-gobbling dickless two-bit thief", and that I am NOT lying when I tell you he lasts longer than fifteen minutes in bed. If you continue to send these harassing letters, I will be forced to challenge you to an honour duel.
>Looking forward to turning your pelt into a rug,
>PS your FATHER belongs in a museum
Today was an childish, petty letter-exchanging day
>The ancient ruins they explored were actually an old, abandoned, history-themed resort
>The traps they avoided were completely safe, designed to add excitement for guests
>The artifacts they found were trinkets from the gift shop
>When the ponice knock on their door, Anon and Birdfu think Twilight is coming after them for stealing artifacts
>It's actually the ponice coming after them for breaking and entering
Injecting my fetishes, ahoy!
>You are Rainbow Dash
>And you are currently out with the girls for the night
>Getting some food, and then you're going to hit the club with the others for a nice piece of dick
>While you eat, you each take turns telling the stories of your conquests
>"So as I was saying darling, this colt just kept going on and on. He was a good romp in the hay, but I had to let him go."
>Man, Rarity was so good at getting colts to eat out of her hoof.
>"Anyway, it's your turn Rainbow dear."
"Aww yeah! You girls have got to hear about-"
>However you are abruptly cut off by Pinkie Pie.
>"Heey wait! I think Fluttershy has something to say!"
>Even though all six of you come to dinner, normally you skip over Applejack and Fluttershy
>Applejack because of her attitude concerning stallions. She's kind of traditional, not really the type to go for stallions in a bar.
>And Fluttershy because well...
>You used to skip over twilight too, but she eventually managed to join in.
>All thanks to Rarity and you teaching her everything she knows.
>She learned from the masters after all.
>Anyway, back to Fluttershy.
>To be honest, you were starting to think that she was a filly fooler.
>But Pinkie was right, as long as you've known her, you've learned when she wants to say something.
>Your eyes light up
>"No way Fluttershy! What kind of stallion did you bag?"
>"Well u-um, I met a... nice stallion."
>Your whole table collectively gasps.
>"Well don't keep us waiting! Who was it?"
>Knowing Fluttershy, she probably got lucky and found one of those marely-colts, who goes for the shy type.
>"I-It was um...Anon."
>You do a spit-take
>"Anon!?, You mean that human hunk Anon?"
>She has a blush and a smile on her face as she nods.
>Well, you were right about her finding a marely-colt
>Far as you know, Anon hasn't been with anypony.
>"Well darling, don't spare any details. Tell us what the sex was like."
>"Oh it was just lovely."
>You were having breakfast with your sister, Luna, until a letter popped out of thin air
>"Another letter, sister? That is the seventh one this morning."
"Yes, Twilight has gotten into a tizzy because the human and a griffon went into some ruins and took some magical artifact in Equestria."
>Luna dropped her bagel and stared at you
>"You seem to be awfully relaxed, sister. Are you not worried that it might end up in the wrong hooves?"
"There is absolutely nothing to worry about. Anything truly dangerous is locked away in the vault here in the castle. It's just probably just one of my toys from my younger days."
>Luna chuckles and resumes eating
>"You never did learn to pick up after yourself, did you? What would father say?"
"Yes, well daddy isn't in this dimension to scold me anymore. Anyway, it is of no consequence to us. Twilight simply needs to learn not everything requires our supervision."
>A maid comes in carrying a newspaper
>"Your morning paper, Princess."
"Ah, thank you Feather Duster. You may be excused."
>You take a long sip of your tea before you begin reading
>Only to spit it out once you read the headline
>"Interspecies Couple Covers Griffon Empire With Cake, Helps End National Hunger Problems"
>And the cover picture had a female griffon and the human holding a wand with a piece of cake on top
>How could this be? You spent half a millennium looking for the Pastry Wand
"Luna, we're going to pay the Griffon Empire a visit. I'll write Twilight to come as well. We have a... national treasure to recover.
>"What did I tell you about wearing clothes in the house, Anon?"
>"Let alone in public! That's indecent exposure, you... you look like a slut!"
>"And then I played with it in my mouth a little bit-"
>You can't believe what you're hearing.
>"-and after I ordered him to get on the bed he-"
>By the looks of the table, your friends can't either.
>This was one of the raunchiest stories you've ever heard in your life.
>The Anon in this story sounds nothing like the Anon you know.
>"-then I forced him down and told him to-"
>Nor does this sound like the Fluttershy you know.
>You're about to snap and rush to the bar if you hear one more line of this story.
>"-and then I told him only to use his tongue, and that ended up lasting 30 minutes."
>You can't take it anymore.
"OH COME ON!"
>The other parts were crazy, but this one draws the line.
"YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT YOU SAT ON ANON'S FACE AND HAD HIM LICK YOUR FLANKHOLE FOR HALF AN HOUR!?"
>Fluttershy's demeanor changes back to her original self.
>"H-He prefers to call it a p-ponut."
Agreed. But I'm not gonna try to stop them.
Figure if they can tolerate the satyrs, I can not give them shit over their fetish.
It's a shit fetish, though.
"For FUCK's sake, Twilight, we've been over this."
>"I don-I don't care! It's still dirty! I won't allow you to whore yourself around in MY house!"
>Something inside of you snaps.
>You march up to her, much to her surprise.
>With speed that astounds even you, you reach out and grab Twilight.
>Without hesitation, you start to violently rub her smaller body against your clothed chest.
"How's this, then? How is it?!"
>"N-no! Anon, sto-Oooh! Stop!"
>You flip Twilight around so that you're face-to-face with her, and then resume the rubbing.
"Is this slutty enough for you? Hmm?! Do you like it when I act like a whore?!"
>"Stop it, Anon! Stop! I don't waaaahhahaahahaa~"
>Twilight moans lewdly while something warm and sticky soaks into your shirt.
>You immediately stop rubbing Twilight against your chest.
>This maybe was not the best decision you've ever made.
Babe, don't be that way. Are you just going to sit there and let these faggots tell YOU what YOU can and cannot write? What's the worst they're going to do, say mean things to you? Nut up and write, you prick.
>the Pastry Wand
Truly an artifact of the greatest power.
>"You look like a slut"
"A warm and comfortable slut. The clothes stay."
Twilight and Anon are now dirty.
This can only mean one thing.
BATH TIME, MOTHERFUCKER
>You raise your arm up high.
>You hope that your ancestors may forgive you…
>You make a farting noise with your arm.
Take it to the next level.
>Twilight secretly likes to wear clothes ever since her trip to the human world
>She tried to hide it when she came back, but she can't help but put on a dress or even a tshirt when alone in her room
>Gets upset when Anon goes everywhere wearing clothes without a problem just because he's a guy
>One day, he walks in on Twilight wearing a sweater vest and skirt
>He gushes how adorable she looks and takes her out for lunch so she could show it off
>She has never been more embarrassed in her life
>no one believes anon is submissive
>let alone for fluttershy
>anon comes on scene, explains it plainly, even gloating
>everyone assumes fluttershy put him up to it
>"c'mon anon you don't need to lie,"
>no one believes they have raunchy, dirty sex
There aren't any women here.
It's okay when a mare does it.
It's a changeling from Brandnewwritefag's "Daring Douche" story.
You can find it here:
While I do hate femdom this is by far the most tolerable one that I have read. Ponies still act cute and somewhat in character and the important part its not some edgy grimdark peice of shit paired with it Anon is in a consensual relationship. Plus I like the idea of Fluttershy being bullied into being a dom during sex by Anon outside of sex.
I considered doing a story of a singing Anon who'd sing Frank Sinatra songs that fit the moment. Like Fly me to the moon to Luna, Come fly with me to pegasi.
That sort of deal since his songs would be considered incredibly flirty in RGRE.
But I've never thought of a way to make it actually work as a story.
But what if rule 63?
ZombAnon in RGR Equestria when?
>You are Twilight Sparkle, brother of Shining Armor
>Currently in the bath with her
>Her crotchboobs are pressed up against you as she scrubs your shoulders
>"Hey bro, want some help cleaning your donger?"
"I can do it myself, thanks.
>"Are you sure? I could do a much more -thorough- cleaning for you."
In high-school, Gleaming Shield and Princess Cadence, best friends and sorta-sisters, come into conflict when they both desire that exotic human teen, Anonymous.
Note: non-herding Equestria.
i would say get out but
>Day who cares in non-herding equestria
>Shining armour and Cadence both want to jump that sexy human's boners
>Competing really hard to get him
>Cadence tells Twilight, the colt she babysits, about her love interest.
>Shining armor tells Twilight, the colt that is her brother, about her love interest.
>Twalot spergs out.
>Spends weeks locked inside the library, reading books to try to figure out how to help his beloved sister and babysitter without hurting the other.
>Princess Celestia eventually notices Twilight isn't showing up at his private lessons.
>After a fortnight more of her student not attending these one on one study sessions, Celestia talks to Twilight's mom, Twilight's Mom
>Twilight's Mom tells Celestia she has thought Twilight was with her.
>Annoyed at not having her prized student, she goes looking
>A few minutes of Celestia sniffing at the ground like a bloodhound later, Twilight is found.
>Celestia asks Twilight what's wrong while molesting him extra hard to make up for lost time.
>DEUS EX MACHINA A.K.A. Celly D tells Twilight "Why not both?"
>As a princess, Celestia can just order all the ponies to go along with it
>She then sees a picture of Anon and decides she wants in on this too
>Twilight is glad that now they will all be one big happy family
>Fibby Mcsunhoers convinces Anon herding is a real part of Equestrian culture.
>Lots of ponyfucking ensues
>Ponygamy is still prohibited for plebs
>Today was a good day to be royalty
You can be anal about it but we're surely not JUST genderrolling here ya know
Tis fresh tho so who cares, let's see how it goes, I'm always up for experimentan
My sides. It's literally state of marriage to pony spouses. Horsemarriage.
ho shit. ho shit ponygamy durnk fuck me sideways what did you just do?
HAHA I googled ponygamy, and only real mention is by some Japanese sounding forum user! I knew you were Japonyse when you told me to have less sex and more showers!
I cracked you Durnk I TOTALLY CRACKED YOU behold my super pony spy powers
Also, off by one, Santa.
>Most of that happened
>Celestia just found out that Twilght is all distrssed about his sister and babysitter are competing over love.
>Decides to use her wisdom to fix this
>All those involved are gathered in the throne room
>"It has come to m attention that you are fighting over who gets this alien's heart"
>Celestia holds Anon up in the air with her magic
>"It is my decision that the alien will be cut in half and each of you will receive half of him.
>Celestia's horn glows brighter and hums ominously
>"No, Stop! Let her take Anon!" shouts Shining Armour
>The magic flares and Anon is split cleanly down the middle.
>The cut isn't bleeding, due to the princess's magic cauterizing the severed halves.
>"Very well, your half will also go to Cadence."
>The two now limp halves of Anon's body are placed on the ground in front of Cadence, who just looks on in shock
>Today was a reminder not to leave problems to the princesses to solve
That was accidental, but now that you point it out, is amusing.
I'm not a nip, you just need a shower you filthy fuck.
She's a big girl.
Largepon is nice
>I'm not a nip, you just need a shower you filthy fuck.
And you need a fuck, you filthy shower!
What am I supposed to do, shower five times a day? I can't live in the shower, I wouldn't be able to afford the water bill! You are discriminating against ponies with high libidos! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
And you know WHAT?
You should ...... quit drunking!!
just joking don't plis dont durnk it's only game dont heff to be mad plis
shit my head is killing me wat do kill me pls smpony
>"Now now, children - if you cannot play nice and share, you cannot have your toy."
>And thus Anon was confiscated by Celestia.
>The rumours that she kept a personal 'love-monkey' in her bed-chambers would persist for years to come.
>Not dominating her by controlling when she gets to be dominated.
>Not making her beg for so much as a harsh word.
>Not forcing her to dominate you in bed, letting her squirm as she imagines herself in your position.
Do you even metadomination?
If you keep acting so cute and lewd around a mare, she'll just take you for herself.
I love the idea of a musician anon playing some of mankind's greatest hits, most of which are directly or indirectly about sex. Most music in Equestria seems to be happy fun songs about platonic, non-sticky friendship.
They all seems to tease Anon, though.
>Twilight said, satisfied with her harsh takedown on the human colt. However due to her exertion to look as big as intimidating as she could by displaying her tiny wings, she had to preen them for the 11th time this day. She quickly ran to her favorite bed (her only bed) in her 10x7 toy castle in Cutietinyhorsieland, stood on a pile of books she got from being a good pony princess, and puffed out her fluffy tuft. Hardly before her adorable purple wings sprawled out all the way, her rosy muzzle opened and prinned the leftover feathers of her princess' wings down onto the bed, tickling an 6lb sleeping 8 year old dragon and covering a book about a cute pegasus with an adventurous story and an explorer hat. Twilight sighed, and cleared off the discarded feathers from her bed and cleaned her mouth with a quick wipe on the Starswirl-themed bed covers. "Good enough", she thought. Little did she know, the human she had replied to was quickly approaching with cuddles.
Reposting because relevancy, not greatest hits though.
"Good luck up there Anon!"
>"Thanks Twilight, I am feeling a little nervous y'know?"
>Not very surprising, he is a guy after all.
>A small white board floats up between the two of you, you catch a hint of text but it's turned towards Anon at the moment.
>"Aww, thanks babe. I feel better already" Anon chirps.
>You try keeping a straight face, but you can feel the smile being more and more forced as Vinyl Scratch walks up to him.
>He kneels down and gives her a small kiss on the lips, you can see the short message she wrote to Anon.
>Psh, you could scribble out a better message in like a second if you wanted to.
>Is it happening?! Are you finally being accepted into the herd that was, until now, a couple?
>And to start off so lewdly...
>"I asked if you need Vinyl to help you find your seat? We're getting started in a few and we still have to move some things around."
"Uh no- no, I know where it is... right with the other p-princesses" you say while trying not to sound as hurt as you feel.
>"Awesome, I hope you enjoy the show" he responds while Vinyl is using her board with an arrow drawn on it to guide the other band members around.
"Y-you too-" realising what you've just said you clamp your mouth shut tight and bolt for the exit, not even waiting around to hear Anon respond.
>Stupid stupid STUPID!
>Of all the things to respond with!
>Now you don't think you can even face him for a little while.
>Like it matters anyway, he's clearly into musicians, if you can even call what "DJ Pon3" makes "music".
>When Anon and others were setting up you saw real instruments so hopefully he can do something more worthwhile than whatever his marefriend does.
>"Twilight, over here!" Celestia calls up at you.
>You touch down a little rougher than you'd like but at least you didn't fall down.
>"Come, sit. The human is going to enrapture us with riveting tales of his life!" Luna cheers.
>You settle into your chair and try to think positive thoughts after the whole ordeal just moments ago.
>Luna's right, at least you'll get to learn plenty about Anonymous.
>After all that's what all songs are for, current happenings, autobiographical retellings and such.
>The curtains open up and Anon stands front and center with a microphone and guitar that's sized up for him.
>Behind him are a minotaur, a gryphon, a young dragon, and a diamond dog with instruments of their own.
>Anonymous is so thoughtful to include the less musically inclined races.
>Almost like you and the Yaks.
>There's so much you both have in common and he's with that bu-
>"Hey everybody! Thank you all so much for coming! We uh... well okay I'm terrible at introductions so why don't we just cut to the chase huh?"
>You cheer along with the rest of the crowd, eager to hear what Anonymous has in store.
>Your wings shift a little and you make a small *thump* when they hit they back of your seat.
>You see several other mares shift around uncomfortably as well.
>Goodness, this song is so provoc-
>Well well... it would seem their relationship was rocky all this time.
>Poor stallion, he hid it so well when you saw them together.
>She probably goes to clubs every night, leaving him all alone at night.
>The mere thought of leaving someone like Anon alone to play some dirty club makes your blood boil.
>Seems like you're not the only one with the thought as you see several coltless herds shuffle closer and closer to a very shocked looking Vinyl.
>You'd join them if you could but you do have to maintain appearances.
>Doesn't mean that you can't enjoy watching her frantically scribble some kind of poor excuse to the growing mob.
>You giggle to yourself as you watch her struggle while the mob carries her away.
>Oh Anon, you poor lonely colt.
>If you had only known his suffering you could've done something.
>Yes Anon, You would take an eternity to get to know him.
>Whatever it would take.
>The pain in his heart comes through so clearly as he yelps and hollers towards the end, it practically breaks your heart.
>The song comes to an end as the diamond dog holds the last note on his trumpet.
>Some stallions are crying from the raw emotion in Anon's voice and his recalling of his painfully lonely relationship with Vinyl.
>Their respective herds are comforting them, while others give applause for the bravery he's shown to open up to so many about his pain.
>You are Anon.
>A decent chunk of the crowd is already gone and half of whatever's left is mostly silent while the other half is cheering.
>You've done a lot of gigs with your cover band back on Earth but this is a reaction you've never seen before.
>Tough to read really, which is the last thing you wanted.
>You take a glance at where Vinyl is, or well, was.
>Where the hell did she go?
>You told her that she should gauge your songs in advance, but she refused to be in the same building while you were all rehearsing.
>She's probably making sure the wires and stuff are good, all of it may be her own design but it's some very touchy equipment.
>Either way you gotta make the call now...
"Hey uh, I think we did okay you guys, you all sounded great. Cake can just be a little hit or miss so why don't we go with a more pump-y kind of song."
>They all agree unanimously with your next choice.
>It's really strange how none of their races value music, but these four were at least willing to learn.
>Soon you hope they'll really start getting beyond just playing the music, but you're still grateful they've learned this much.
"Let's just jump right to it guys. One, two, one two three-"
>You strike the initial chord and let the sound ring out into the unreadable crowd.
"So if you're lonely, you know I'm here, waiting for you~"
>You see ears perking up all through the crowd.
>Nice, seems like they might be feeling this one.
>Steel Grit starts steadily pounding away on the kick and you can feel yourself start to get into it.
"-With you~" you drag the last syllable out as you drag a pointed finger across the crowd as the song leads into the slowdown.
>People usually like when you do that.
>The tempo drags as you all reach the hook.
>All of you are bobbing along just like you rehearsed.
"Take me out!~"
>This song isn't very complex, nor is it particularly fast so you can afford to get a little flashier with your performance.
>You throw in a few kicks, walk along the stage a little to sing to different parts of the crowd when you're doing the "with you" bit.
>They're fucking loving it!
>Really loving it, you're getting growls and whistles from a bunch of mares.
>You're not really interested because Vinyl reasons, but shit's ego boosting for sure.
"COME ON!... Take me out!~" you sing as you point a finger gun into the crowd and motion a shot.
>Gettin' all historically relevant and shit up in here.
>All of you freeze on the last note and jsut let it ring itself into silence.
>That silence doesn't last very long as it's shortly replaced by a roar of cheers and applause.
>The ground is shaking from all the stomping the little ponies are doing.
"Aww yeah! This is what I was talking about guys, we're kicking ass! Let's do one more song and see how it goes from there, more fast paced this time."
>You are Twilight Sparkle.
>"Oh my... I suppose humans don't value relationships as strongly as we ponies do" Celestia notes
>"Indeed, mere moments after speaking ill of his mare he seeks another herd? And dids't though see how coy he was, challenging those mares by telling them he wasn't interested whilst spreading his legs for them" Luna huffs.
>He was pointing at you.
>He specifically pointed you out, "come on and take me out" he said.
>You're so giddy you really didn't register what it was the other princesses were saying until just about now.
"Anon's just expressing himself as a newly single stallion, If I were as alone and devoid of strong purple wings being wrapped around me as he was I'd probably react the same way."
>Luna hums neutrally while Celestia responds back "He certainly does appear to be happier doesn't he, and did you see the way his fingers moved along that instrument of his" she says with a slight growl.
>You glance back at your former mentor and see that she's sitting in such a manner that her wings appear to be against her back but in reality are spread much further back than that.
>She couldn't possibly be thinking he pointed at her could she?
>Anon makes a few sounds on his instrument, drawing your attention back tot he stage.
>His next song will almost certainly be about you, and that should settle the matter without you even having to do anything.
>Anon points to the minotaur on the drums and he starts pounding away at a very fast pace.
>"That's great it starts with an earthquake. Birds and snakes, an aeroplane~"
>What? None of this is making any sense.
>Who is Lenny Bruce and what's an aeroplane?
>Hurricane? The weather seems fine.
>Reporters?! Why would there be rep-
>"It's the end of the world as we know it~"
>"It's the end of the world as we know it~"
>You whip your head around to look at Celestia, Luna has also done the same.
>Your former mentor has a look on her face that's somewhere between fear and confusion.
>"Sister? Art thou alright?"
>"Is he- N-nothing in his song makes any sense, could this be some kind of incantation?!"
"A spell? I didn't think that he was capable of magic, but some of the older texts suggest similar casting styles, but then could he be casting..."
>All three of you gasp in realization.
>Which is followed by a gasp from the crowd before you.
>Three princesses with looks of fear on their faces because a being from another world is singing a song that tells no tale and claims the end of the world is probably a shocking site to an average pony.
>That's what you meant when you were talking about appearances.
>This was an example of not maintaining it.
>What happens next could be reasonably expected.
>Can barely think with how fast the lyrics are.
>Ponies look like they're liking it.
"Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives, and I decline!~"
>Fucking love that part.
"It's the end of the world as we know it!~"
>Huh, they're all turned to the princesses.
>Looking for approval?
>Seems like they got it in fucking spades.
>These little horses are going wild!
>Look at those little ponies go, some of them are crowdsurfing it looks like.
>You're not entirely sure their wild energy really matches this song but hey at least they're into it.
>Even the princesses are starting to join in, you can see them getting out of their seats an-
"Okay... so I've learned something today-" you state as you look at the wreckage that was your stage, "You ponies take music lyrics literally."
>Pegasi are towing away their clouds now that they put out all the fires.
>"It would seem that there is a lot more we have yet to learn of your kind."
>You nod as you watch more of the stage collapse on itself.
>"Perhaps you could offer me more... detailed lessons?" Princess Celestia says as she wraps a wing around your shoulder, "For starters, just how fast you can move those fingers of yours" she says.
>She couldn't even play guitar like you could... right?
>You wiggle your fingers a little as you think on it and hear an exasperated sigh from behind you, "I believe he's going to be occupied Celestia. He did after all, demand that I take him... oh right..." Twilight mumbles.
>You glance around past the wreckage, past your bandmates, and past the three very embarrassed Princesses but don't find who you're looking for.
"Hey, where the hell is Vinyl?"
>"Uhm... about th-that..." Twilight stammers.
I had to look for it in Desustorage, Frosty didn't put it in his bin, or at least I couldn't find it.
since apparently the image wasnt attached
Thought about resurrecting an idea from the last thread. So here we go.
>You stand before the equestrian embassy, grinning widely as once again you see light emitting from one of its windows.
>Your kin had said yesterday a pony caravan had came here, strut about for an hour and left in a hurry, and you had felt giddy ever since hearing it.
>You were almost worried they would never find a new toy for Tartarus to play with. After the last visitor was spooked away, the white-bricked house at the farthest edge of Dis had sat empty for... oh, six months or so?
>Silly mare that thought she had the courage to be an intermediary between Us and the princesses, she cracked in a day and ran all the way to equestria with her tail between her legs, like her kind are wont to.
>"Ssssso Celestia sent another one, huh?"
"Yep! This ones mine to break though. You terrified the last one so much i never even got a chance to properly test out my scents"
>The squirming mass of snakes beside you scoffs as a few of the slithering things eye you up
>"Yesss yess. Oh, but how sshe ran when i greeted her in the garden! Sshe was so fast i could have ssworn she was your relative!"
>You cant help but smile to yourself as you shift from hoof to hoof, the weight of your armor shifting as you stretch your wings in preparation.
Depends on the types of mares you're trying to attract.
Young mares? Just be a bit flirty.
Beta mares? Show any interest.
Older mares? Bring your existing herd along, and show off how well you can keep them in line.
Fillies? Just talk to their father to see if she's available as a sock. Might help to be similar to him.
Your own fillies? Just claim them. Helps ease the addition if you're an involved father.
"Oh, she was an interesting one. So gruff and hardy looking. I wonder who they sent now? Another guardsmare? Or maybe some high and mighty mage again. Oooh, or maybe another one of those mares looking to sell their soul! Those are fun, we can keep those!"
>"Oh, no idea. Nodemi had sighted the new diplomat when the caravan went through." With an expression you came to read as a grin, one of the snakes reaches out from the central mass and pokes its jaws playfully against your shoulder, dinking against the chainmail over it."ssSo what are you planning to do to our vissiting "dignitary" ?
>Grinning madly, you fish up a small vial from one of the pouches in your armor, and uncork it, giving it a quick sniff. Your coat stands up instantly as an electrifying feeling flows through your body, causing your heartbeat to soar for a moment.
"Refined Terror, brewed only a few days ago."
>You splash the dark potion into your neck. The dark, oily concoction seeps into your coat as you feel the scent hang heavily in the air. Grinning, you throw the empty bottle into your stash as you walk through the embassies dilapidated front gate.
>"Bet ssixty sssoullss you cant get the pony to flee in under half an hour!"
"Seventy and its a deal!"
>Laughing, you let yourself into the embassies front door, the familiar layout telling you exactly where to find your entertainment. You have an intimidating suit of armor, the scent of fear hangs heavily around you, and never forget, you are a child of the underworld. Whats the chance you will lose this bet?
>You are Anon
>And you are just finishing the first report to Equestria about your new station, and all the necessary supplies you need to spruce up your embassy.
>Placing the feather back into the ink-pot, you look over it once before placing to the far edge of your office table, letting the ink dry
>Rising from your seat, you turn around and start to reach for th....
>what a strange smell...
>You jump around in fright as your office door is kicked open, looking to see a...
>Well Sisters be damned...
>You grin viciously as you reach the door of what you have taken a liking to call "fun-room". They always seem to linger around this one most of their time.
>Placing your ear quietly against the engraved ebony door, you hear activity in the other side, as well as see light seep out from the sides of the room, the only one illuminated in this lovely constant dusk that is the Tartarus weather.
>Jep. No mistaking it. You take a step back from the door, brace yourself a bit...
>And throw open the door with a punch as you jump into the room, wings flared
>For extra effect, you try to summon forth as maniacal smile as you can as you quickly scan through the room until you see your...
>Wow, thats a big one.
>Well, no matter. The princesses have sent full grown dragons before and you have broken them. This will be no different.
>Regaining a bit of yourself, you dont answer. Just brace yourself for a blink as you focus on.... it
>With the smile on your face, you bend your knees a bit and....
>You are Anon of Embassy
>You are a bit starstruck as you see your first devil
>You expected, coming from former ambassadors to expect monstrous creatures, abominations, freaks of nature of all kinds
>What you see is...
>A stunning, sharp teethed pony in deep-red with stockings seem to be made of... chainmail?
>Your brain kicks into overdrive as it dries to assess the situation: You standing behind your table like a dolt. Mare smiling sweetly in your direction... DUUuuude, you need to start a conversation.
>Brain does not work well. The mare you see loses some of her cheeky smile for a moment, before you see her bend her knees a bit as she looks at you again with that sweet smile of hers.
>AND THE NEXT MOMENT SHE IS on your table, inches from your face
>Jumping back, you fall to your chair as you see the red mare leer over you with a wide smile, the scent of Sulphur and....Something overpowering as you just stare in awe at her cat-like golden eyes as you see her brace herself like a feline again, her smile growing as she looks at you
>You grin viciously as you see the ambassador fall to its chair in fright, its tiny, beady eyes as wide as they can be as you materialized right before... is it a him?
>You take a closer look at its short haircut, a bit sharper jaw line and deeper voice... You are no keeper of whispers, but you do recognize stallionish features.
>Oooh, this will be fun! Another "strong and independent stallion"~ Time to teach him a bit about hell
>Smiling with glee, you brace yourself as you look into his tiny eyes, to see him...
>And you are grinning viciously at his face as you stand on his lap,leaning closer with your vicious maw
>Oh, he seems so paralyzed in fear he is blushing heavily, incapable of even resisting you!
>The scent of fear you wear seems to be working. Time for a coup-de-grace as you lean wickedly down on his throa...
>You shudder as you feel a sudden touch on your neck as his claws softly travel along it.
>You cant help but let loose a small gasp as one of his claw hooves travel up along your cheek, cupping your muzzle as a strangely intoxicating feeling travels through your body. The other claw slowly travels downward your neck until it bumps softly against your armor
>You look up in surprise at your victim as you see him staring down at you with a strange look, his soft claws running along the back of your head until you feel them
>Oh Tirek, they brush through your long mane as a never before feeling of... something trails along your spine at every touch
>You know you cant lose! You try putting up another war face to ...Oh~. You feel his claw gently tease the back of your neck as you melt like putter. Involuntarily you let loose a purr as it trails just to the edge of your armor
>And his claw slips in-between your armor, trailing down your spine to your wings as you lose more and more control to the teasing jolts of pleasure driving through your spi-
>You gasp despite yourself as your chain armor falls off your body, only leaving your greaves as the chainmail falls off your body like water. And in the same moment you feel both his claws move to the base of your wings as you cant help but coo and fall helplessly into his lap.
>You feel his claws softly caress along the base of your wings as you squirm like an imp in his lap in blind pleasure, your naked, unarmored form both frightening and... arousing you like nothing before
>Feel his claws finish their exploration of your wings and once again return to your body
>Traveling.. slowly down your sides with a torture you never felt before as you unwittingly press your naked body more closely against your....
>That... that is your voice, not the voice of prey
>You feel his claws softly trail down your sides, one leaning softly toward your vulnerable belly as the other trails along your backside to...
>You lose yourself in the embrace of this strange exploration just for a moment as you hold your hooves feebly against your vict..
>You are Anon of embassy
>Cupping a whole lot of nothing all of the sudden
>Blinking in sturbor, you hear the distinct sound of hoof clops running down the stairs and out of your new home
>Blinking again, you are left with just the scent of...
>Sulphur and... something intoxicatingly sweet as you shake your head to clear your mind.
>You wait for a minute... In the faint hope she would return...
>And with nothing greeting you, you lose yourself in strange laughter as you reach for the bottom drawer of your table, taking out a fine bottle of dark liquid and a glass.
>Setting the glass before yourself and pouring it full, you eye it just for a moment, before grabbing it and gulping it all down
>Gods be damned...
>You were told there would be monsters and beasts here
>You look down at your pants and up again while shaking your head
>You were damn ready to sell your soul at that moment ago
>God damn it, why couldn't it just have been monsters.
What a cute little fiendling she was.
You need to write more of this.
Those trips+doubles demand it!
>You are Silhouette and...
>You are running out of the embassy nearly stark naked, with only your greaves to cover your indecency
>Blushing so furiously it probably even shows on your coat, you run past your slithering friend waiting on the side
"ITS J-ust!HES So!...."
>You look down on yourself as you see your slithering friend blushes and looks away, all with the 40+ snake heads of hers
>You shy away yourself at the sudden exposure, grabbing the bag you used to carry your supplies here to cover up your indecency as you wrap it around yourself
"I... I just need to take a bath... A Cold cold bath....near the periphery......Tartarus damned..."
>You sulk away from the embassy and your compatriot as you seek out the nearest lava flow around to dip yourself in as you try recollecting yourself
>Why do you feel like blushing?
Looks like Frostybox.....
...has been put inside of a frosty box.
Anons, halp. I am having troubles on where to go with my story.
I also don't have much time to be writing it and I dont want it to be left unfinished like a bunch of other stories tend to.
Or should I just write something else?
The world survived a long time without the elements, I'm sure them going back to hibernation isn't going to end the world.
Besides, if plants get uppity, just whip up a simple flamethrower, and it'll fix things quick.
Post one shot green ideas.
Just have Anon sit them down and talk to them at once. Have Spike bring Cadence as an impartial judge and give advice. Have them talk about why they love Anon and why they think they deserve him. Should put things in perspective. Or Anon could put himself in danger so the mares can put their differences aside and save him. The last one would probably be easier to write.
in any story, even greentext, its important to recognize what desires you're instilling in your audience. you don't have to satisfy all of them (you can frustrate them in deliberate ways) but you had better satisfy some of them.
this is somewhat complicated by the fact that you were continuing a (pretty shitty) prompt, so the desires that were instilled at the beginning weren't created by you. but they're still there.
so what do your readers want to see?
I'd say a big thing is seeing the old herd suffer to a degree appropriate for the shitty thing they did. right now you haven't really done that. true, they're upset and jealous that the other girls are "courting" anon, but "regretting having broken up with someone" is just about the bare minimum you could do. and right now applejack seems to be the only one who actually understands to some degree how serious what they did to anon was.
another big thing your audience probably wants to see is anon emotionally moving on with a new individual/group, one that's demonstrably better than his previous herd. this is classic romance fiction stuff--the heroine has to suffer the bad breakup with the shitty ex in order to find the new, better partner.
I can't speak for anyone else, but I know that when pinkie pulled that condescending shit with anon after the fight, I was really turned off. I had hoped that with the way you were writing those three (rarity the diehard romantic who is into "stallion things" like fashion, fluttershy the timid beta mare who does better with a more assertive partner than most stallions are capable of being, pinkie pie the clueless virgin,) you were setting things up for anon to end up with a group who could appreciate him for what he really was instead of a stereotype. a group that would never have pulled that shit that his old herd did.
anyway, those are just some of my thoughts. I realize that this comes off as very critical, but I have been enjoying the story a lot overall.
K I got an interesting one.
>Anon is with Rarity, and things are going well.
>Being the businessmare she is, this makes him herded with Sassy Saddles and Coco Pommel; her main business partners.
>Anon has little interest in herding.
>Rarity has kept it hidden from Sassy and Coco that she has a stallion. In consideration of Anons wishes.
>They find out, and having met Anon before want in.
>Anon turns them away.
>Herding laws are invoked.
Can Replace with Twilight and Princesses or AJ and Pies.
>Anon is having a bath by himself
>ponies find this odd since bathing is a communal thing due to hooves
>Anon can't work out why random ponies barge into his house every time he has a bath
This sounds like it could be pretty adorable.
>You take in a deep breath and shoot a glance at the Princesses nearby.
>They look amongst each other and then back at you.
>All of them nod, Twilight's is barely noticeable seeing as she hardly raises her head at all.
>Okay, go time.
>You clear your throat and start strumming.
>Vinyl opens the bedroom window, levitating a bat with her, and leans out to look around.
>Her gaze trails down the graffitied walls of your joint home until she's looking down at you.
>You shoot her a meek smile, immediately you see one of her eyes burn with a furious rage through the broken lens of her glasses.
>You wince slightly and shoot a quick nod to Princess Luna.
"Look at the stars, look how they shine fo-or you, and everything you do~"
>You motion towards the night sky with the headstock of your guitar.
>She follows your motion up to the night sky, where the stars are twinkling much brighter than usual.
>The sight gives her pause, just like Luna promised it would.
>"Yeah they were all yellow~"
>Even from down here, you can see her tense up as you mention that color so you quickly follow that up.
"I came along, I wrote a song fo-or you, and all the things you do~"
>Vinyl pauses just before slinking back into the bedroom.
>This is the first time she's heard you play, you knew making note of it would catch her.
>"And it was called yellow~"
>She glares down at you, you stop strumming for a second to hold out a pleading hand to her.
"So then I took my-y turn, oh what a thing to have done~"
>Her scowl lightens somewhat, likely thinking you're acknowledging the fuck up.
"And it was all yellow~"
>Vinyl's bat drops to the ground, for a moment you're filled with fear, but when it lands safely in the bush next to the house you assume what's happened.
>When she throws her hooves out to grab the window shutters you've confirmed it, she's so mad that she can't use her magic right now.
>The mob you accidentally sicced on Vinyl dyed the word "abuser" in yellow all over her fur after they carried her off.
>When you arrived home to try explaining that it was a cultural misunderstanding and that the Princesses addressed it with everyone you were met with so many whiteboards full of angry scribbling that you couldn't get a word in before getting thrown out.
>And so this is it, music fucked you over, you're hoping it'll unfuck you.
>She's leaned almost fully out of the window.
>Her body is a dark pink against the night sky with slight fuzz silhouetted against the starlight.
>Vinyl shaved everything then, not just the fur on her face.
"Your ski-in, oh yeah your skin and bones, turn i-into something beautiful~"
>She pauses again, hooves clutching the shutters for balance.
"But you kno-ow, you know I love you so~"
>She pulls herself back into the bedroom, leaving the shutters where they are.
>Through the broken lens, you can see her eye shift from anger to something... less angry at least.
"You know I love you so~"
>Vinyl continues watching you with this look on her face as you strum.
>You nod to the princesses out of Vinyl's viewpoint.
>Twilight and Celestia's horn's light up.
>In a flash of gold the ground underneath you becomes a small "X" shaped pool.
"I swam across~"
>As soon as you sing the lyric, you tuck in your knees just like you rehearsed.
>In a flash of purple, the ground beneath you becomes solid again and you spring into the air.
>You land, the little "X" on the ground is behind you.
"I jumped across fo-or you~"
>You throw an arm out to her as you sing that last bit.
"Oh what a thing to do~"
>Vinyl is watching you with her nude brow all furrowed in utter confusion.
>Eh, it's still an improvement over anger.
>"Cause you were all yellow~"
>Before she has the opportunity to even express herself a sheet of paper appears before her eyes in a flash of gold.
>"I drew a li-ine, I drew a line for you~"
>She's holding the drawing you made for her in her hooves.
>It depicts you and her with hearts placed at your chests and a yellow line connecting the two.
>"And it was all yellow~"
>She looks up from the sheet to you.
"Your ski-in, oh yeah your skin and bones, turn i-into something beautiful~"
>Her face softens.
>The confusion and lovey words are making quick work of the sheer rage she had for you before.
>And now for the final step.
"And you kno-ow, for you I'd bleed myself dry~"
>Vinyl leans out of the window from shock so quickly that her broken glasses slip and fall to the ground below.
>You nod to the princesses.
>They look to you apprehensively.
>You keep strumming and add a glare to the three of them.
>They wince and shortly after Luna's horn begins to shimmer.
>A dagger appears in the space between your left wrist and the back of the fretboard.
"for you I'd bleed myself dry~"
>Vinyl throws herself back into the bedroom.
>You can hear doors slam and hooves pounding on wood floor.
>Vinyl throws open the front door.
>The dagger vanishes in a flash of blue, and the princesses dispensary in a flash of purple.
>Vinyl's bright red eyes are full of tears, and she's hurriedly mouthing protests at you as she closes the gap.
>You turn your head up to the sky.
"Look how they shine for you~"
>The stars are still twinkling brightly.
>You can feel her arms wrap tightly around your waist.
"Look how they shine for you~"
>She's pulling at you with all her strength.
>You bend your knees slightly, allowing her desperate tugging to actually start bringing you down.
"Look how they shine for~"
>You drop to your butt, messing up your strumming.
>You continue with just your voice for the next set.
"Yeah look how they shine for you~"
>Vinyl's hooves climb up from your waist to wrap around your neck.
"Look how they shine for you~"
>Your face tingles as her shaved face is rubbing against yours.
"Look how they shine~"
>Vinyl turns your head to look at her.
>She's scanning your face intently with worry in her eyes.
>Your furless mare shivers slightly as a cool night breeze blows through.
>You wrap your an arm around her.
>Her nostrils are flaring right in front of your face.
>You smile at your girlfriend.
"Vinyl, I'm not drunk, I'm not suicidal, or whatever else is running through your mind. Promise."
>She continues staring into your eyes, looking for any hint of lies.
"The only thing I am, is in love with you... oh, and also a terrible Equestrian."
>Seriously, apparently the "music is auto-biographical" thing was in like page three of the citizenship paperwork.
>She quirks an eyebrow at you.
>You crack a smile at her.
"I'll explain everything once we go inside, I promise. For now though..."
>You pull her until she's sitting snug in your lap.
>You place the guitar in front of you, pinning her in with it, and resume strumming.
"Look at the stars~"
"Look how they shine for you~"
>She tilts her head up to watch the stars with you.
"And all the things that you do~"
>Her gaze tilts up higher and higher, so much that she ends up pressing her back against your chest.
>The two of you stay like this as the final chord echoes into the night.
Welp, for a hastily thrown together continuation of a short story that was finished that I did forever ago, this one's not terrible I think. But what do I know, I'm dead as hell. Goddamn propeller...
>"Jus primae noctis, Anon."
>"It's an old Prench tradition. It just means that I get to have you on the first night before your marriage begins. Don't worry about her, I 'spoke' to her about it and she knows."
>"Huh? Oh no, no other princess has ever used it... but it's still my right."
>Twilight seals the door behind her, and approaches you slowly
>"Come on, Anon... show me how a human ruts."
Tyrants make animals out of reasonable men. Don't expect pulling shit out of your ass to be accepted by effective parties that get no incentive. Which in that case would be most existing herds.
>You were still getting into your tuxedo when Twilight barged in like this.
>The ceremony was still a day off, and you wanted to get a good look at yourself.
>Make sure you look good for birdfiancé.
>She wouldn't have been the first well wished to stop by.
>She's certainly the first to try jacking you off through your pants.
>She had tried to seduce you the old fashioned way, and by old fashioned you mean asking about your penis.
>There was so much spaghetti on the floor, you're worried it's gonna stain the wood.
>When you told her to leave, she pulled this shit.
>"You can either playing along quietly, or we can do this the hard way."
>She says as she menacingly advances on you, gripping your belt wth her magic.
What the fuck is wrong with you?! We must've had this conversation a dozen times now! I. DON'T. LIKE. YOU.
>She stops mid step, snorting angrily.
>"After all the teasing, all the form fitting clothes and 'just friends' hugs, you're STILL playing pretend, like it all wasn't just to drive me heat crazy?!"
>She stands her hooves threateningly, you swear you saw the floor crack.
>"My mother warned me about colts like you, playing with a mare's passions just for the thrill of it! No more! I'm DONE being little miss gentlemare!"
>She yanks on your pants, and you hear something rip.
>"You're going to RUT ME!"
I want to see it end with one big fappy harem, with Anon securing some real rights for himself. Let him take charge and do something to set a precedent that will prevent future stallions from being abandoned by their herds like he was. Bring it back full circle and resolve the problem of the prompt for good.
Have the wayward three agree to a life-long relationship with Anon. Of course, with the other half on board as well.
Imagine the shock from mares when they all swear to stay together until death parts them in their second marriage ceremony.
Luna has been acting odd lately, and Celestia is determined to know why.
Following her one night as she's dressed up, she watches Luna head into one of Canterlot's lesser-known, more obscure nightclubs.
She watches as Luna watches Anon, and is shocked when they kiss.
Yeah, they agreed that if one ever found a male good enough, they'd share in a herd. And Luna's gone back on that promise.
Sun Butt is steamed because she took their vow seriously: 1000 years without getting laid will do that.
Turns out Luna didn't introduce him because a) he doesn't want to herd, and b) her sister can be an overbearing yet loving bitch, and she knew Anon would just say "fuck it" and walk away.
On any internet connection, on any computer, go to any RGRE thread or AiE General in you can get yourself to. When you reach the post window, ask for green from someone who calls himself "The Writefag". Should a post of optimistic promises sprout up in the thread, you will then be taken witness to a flurry of activity. All you will see are the posts of a samefag replying to themselves echo the electronic halls. It is of a subject that you will not understand, but your very soul will feel unspeakable fear.
Should the posting stop at any time, STOP and QUICKLY type into the text field "dead thread is dead RIP writefags" If you see no replies to your post, go to another website. Leave, do not stop for anything, do not go to another thread, don't stay on the board, just keep browsing, and sleep when you realize you've stayed up until four in the morning. You will know in the morning if you've escaped
If the posts in the thread comes back after you shitpost, continue refreshing. Upon reaching the bottom of the page you will see is a post with a namefield with something other than "Anonymous" in it, speaking of upcoming green, and displaying their tripcode. The poster will only respond to one question. "more please?"
The poster will then stare into your eyes and post their wall of greentext in horrifying detail. Many grow happy in that very thread, some disappear soon after the reading, and a few dedicate their lives to writefagging. But most do the worst thing, and post shit like, "Not RGRE enough". You will want to as well. Be warned that if you do, the thread's death will be one of abandonment and unrelenting boredom.
This death will be in that thread, by that poster's hands.
That post is 1 of 500. They must never reach the bump limit Never.
>tfw you realize that Equestria is a matriarchy in every sense of the word
>tfw what Twilight did was perfectly legal
>tfw it's your fault you were raped
>tfw your birdwaifu won't marry you b/c you are no longer pure
>tfw birdwaifu no longer associates herself with you
"VERY WELL THEN."
>Twiggles has a mixture of surprise and some slight pain as you yell at the top of your lungs
>"Wh-ah, ok, Anon, though, stop-"
"NO. WE HAVE BEGUN THE FUSION PROCESS. LET US BE AS ONE."
>Twilight's wings rise just a little bit, a grin spreading across her face. "YES, ANON, I SHALL TAKE YOU BEFORE ANY OTHER M-"
>You bum-rush the princess, grappling her around your chest
>Twilight flails about in your grasp until her head connects with the ground behind you
>All is silent for a moment
>You sigh softly
"Man, I wish John Cena was here. He'd get me in the mood for post-wrestling sex,
just like my camp counselor did."
>Disappointed, you get up, only to give Twiggles the People's Elbow
>Today was a "you married a birdpone because they fight so good" kinda day
>mares beating their staliions
>You are Caramel
>And you're shaking in fear
"N-no, please, no! Tha- Buttercup, that's not fair!"
>Your mare looks at you with a soft smile as she raises her hoof
>She knocks your piece off the board and advances 5 spaces to the winning circle
>You SCRUNCH SO HARD
>She nuzzles your cheek and you sigh
"One of these days I'm gonna win family game night!"
>"Of course you are, dear! But now I get to claim my prize!"
>With a laugh she kisses you, and you return it
>The rest of your herd resets the board
>Next Wednesday you're gonna play Monopony
>You're the BEST at Monopony
It'd be dialogue heavy, and major points are spoilered, but here's my idea:
A simple roundtable discussion - bring in Celly and Lulu as mediators. Have them independently verify that the tree needs to git gud and they have to stop fucking around. Bonus points for spaghetti spilling during this whole bit.
Anon's talked to Celly beforehand; being in a royal herd as the only species on the planet has had to have given him some special privileges; Maybe he's now officially a diplomat or otherwise "untouchable" without a massive legal headache. Bring that up, use it as a point to shut down the first herd's legal claims/shenanigans.
Wrap it up in a nice bow of "yes, you don't know what you've got until it's gone" + "don't let anyone come between your friends" + "Learn to be happy for other people's success".
Meh, honestly you're to blame for birdwaifuing in the first place. Horsepussy a best.
Thanks Anons, I'll try to see what I can do then!
In the meantime, what was that one prompt about Anon being a scout master as all the mares were thinking that giving Anon something productive to do with his spare time would curb some of those independent streaks he has?
Then he winds up actually taking to the scout thing rather well and instead of mister cookie deliverers he turns them all into hardened inna woods survivalists.
>You stare at Rarity in disbelief. You try to catch her eye, but she's too ashamed to do anything but look at the floor.
"Are... you serious, Rarity? Tell me you're joking."
>"I'm sorry, Darling."
>She croaks out her apology, seemingly unable to force out anything other than short sentences.
>"It's the law."
>You can't believe this bullshit. How could the fucking LAW actually condone this sort of thing?
"How? Why w-would there be a law that forces ponies into a herd?"
>Coco Pommel and Sassy Saddles were standing off to the side in order to give you and your special somepony some privacy, but now Coco speaks up.
>>"It isn't that simple, Anonymous."
>You can feel the anger in you building.
"Oh yeah? Then how the fuck is it?!"
>Your words come out sharper than you had intended, and Coco winces.
>Coco Pommel looks nervously towards the door; she knows the damage that a tantruming stallion can cause.
>Sassy Saddles, however, meets your anger with her own.
>>>"Don't you take that tone with us, Anonymous! You settle down and let us explain!"
>You blink and hold back your shock.
>That was probably the first time a mare actually stood up to you.
>Most of them seem afraid that you'll hit them, or something.
>>>"There is no singular law that goes..."
>Sassy sits on her haunches and starts waving her forelegs around in a mocking gesture.
>>>"Oh, a colt has to be having sexy-times with mares he don't want to just 'cuz other mares are in a pre-existing herd."
>Sassy gets back up and glares at you.
>>>"It's a nightmare of red tape and paperwork that spawned this legal situation, Anonymous. It's the amalgamation of decades and centuries of criss-crossing laws and loopholes and amendments."
>Sassy Saddles, with her head full of steam, marches up to you and pokes you in the chest.
>"D-darling! Be careful with Anon!"
>>>"Do you think that any of us wants this, Anonymous? Did you even THINK about what the MARES want? Of course you didn't! Just like any other colt out there, all you were concerned about was YOU and how YOU felt and how YOU were affected by the law."
>>"S-sassy? Maybe you should calm down be-before you hurt the colt."
>Sassy Saddles pays Coco Pommel no mind.
>>>"We are going to make this WORK, you giant hairless ape."
>You are dimly aware of Rarity exclaiming indignantly at the ape comment.
>>>"We're gonna make this word because we HAVE TO. And I won't have you pushing us around without repercussion just because you're the 'delicate colt'."
>You actually jump back at her sudden explanation after such a long period of silence.
>>>"Let's all go out for breakfast at iTrot and get to know each other a little bit more, hmm?"
>Pony pancakes are delicious.
Where is this heading.