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Reversed Gender Roles Equestria, bad pic...
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New GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive:

Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives:
Where's her sandwich?
Chief master Anon goes into a RGRE and encounters 0 resistance in his career. With pony sexism being cute/plushy, ponies already acting silly, and Anon being very oblivious he doesn't even realize that this is a RGR world until a decade in.
Lana Del Pony
>I paint my hooves black,
>I dye my mane a darker shade of orange
>Cause you like your stallions donkish, dark, strong and proud
>Be Sunset Shimmer
>Ex-human and super villain
>Also known as bacon hoers
>It had been two days since Trixie had been taken by your husband
>While you liked to think that you a far better per--er pony than you were at Canterlot High it had been something else to watch your herd mate getting bathed like that
>While all of those other ponies watched and laughed
>It was actually pretty funny to see the high and mighty Trixie get manhandled like she had
>Not that you didn't love the unicorn to bits but if anyone needed to be brought down a peg every once and a while it was her, and what Shining and Anon had done to her sure as shit did the trick
>That being said you REALLY didn't want what happened to Trixie happen to you
>Sure, you could have been a little nicer but Anon was blowing this way out of proportion
>You MIGHT have deserved a talking to, maybe a few nights of sleeping on the couch, but forcing you to bathe in front of a crowd?
>That's the biggest load of bullshit that you've ever heard
>And you used a pony princess crown to turn into a fucking demon!
>He didn't need to go and humiliate you in front of all of these ponies
>Unlike most of your other herd you knew how human males acted
>They didn't get emotional
>They rarely weren't spiteful
>And they didn't do shit like this, especially to women
>So what if you were a little marshmallow horse right now? That shouldn't matter in the SLIGHTEST!
>Anon should have just sucked it up and let you use the shower but NOOOOOO!
>The jack-off had to go and get the water turned off in the castle so you all just couldn't use the shower, thus robbing him of his brand of crazy justice!
>You didn't even know HOW he managed to get the water to the castle turned off but he did it
>Fucking Anon...
>He's lucky that you got spoiled with men back in humanland otherwise you'd beat the shit out of him and be done with it
>...That and you kind of love him and all of that shit...
>So there you and the other girls were, trapped in the castle with no water other than the million bottles of water that Twilight had stored in the basement for some reason, walking around the castle with Starlight to make sure that neither of your crazy fucking husbands had managed to break into your house
>...Fuck your life
>Fuck your life and all of your life decisions
>AND your crazy husband
>"I can't believe that we got night patrol," Starlight muttered as the two of you turned the corner
>You snorted
"Will you just be quiet and keep that light spell going? We want to be able to see Anon if he somehow managed to get in the castle."
>Not that you expected Anon to get into this place after all that you and the girls did to it
>But if Anon was anything he was a resourceful SOB
>And then there was Twilight's brother...
>Your eyes warily scanned the room before they rested on the aluminum bat that was floating at your side
>Starlight followed your gaze and her nose scrunched up slightly
>"Are you really going to whack your husband with that?" she asked
"Yep," you said, giving your bat a practice swing. "I'm gonna smack him right in the knees."
>Starlight regarded you for a moment longer before shrugging
>"Alright, I was just checking."
>You know, the first time you met Starlight you didn't like her all that much
>You thought her whole... "thing" was pretty dumb
>She turned into a villain because some colt got his cutie mark before her?
>Grow some ovaries filly
>Even now after you became sister-in-laws there were a lot more ponies whose company you preferred over her
>But the one thing that this filly had going for her was the whole equality thing
>Equality for the different races
>Equality for ponies with cutie marks and ponies without them
>And equality for mares and stallion
>Which meant when you had mentioned to the mare that you may or may not be bringing a bat with you to smack your husband around if he tried to jump either of you she didn't flinch
>And that was nice
>If you'd have been paired with anyone else you'd have gotten torn a new asshole if you'd have even suggested something like that
>You'd have to walk around this castle in the middle of the night with nothing to defend yourself agains--
>"Did you hear that?"
>Your head snapped over to Starlight, who was frozen in place frantically looking around
>You readied your bat
"What? What did you hear?" you whisper-shouted at the mare
>Starlight's horn glowed a little bit brighter, bathing the entire hall with light
>Both of you tensed, expecting to see Anon or Shining, but there was nothing
>The hallway was empty
>...Thank the stars...
>You glared at Starlight as the mare sighed
"What the hell are you trying to do?" you demanded. "You nearly gave me a fucking heart attack!"
>"I could have sworn that I heard something..." she muttered, ignoring you, looking around one more time before giving her head a shake. "It must have just been my imagination..."
"Of course it was your imagination! We have this castle locked down tight. There's no way in Tartarus that anypony could get in here without us knowing."
>As you said this you continued to look around the hall
>There was no way that Anon could get into this house
>...No way
>The two of you didn't move a muscle or make a sound for a good minute
>You both just stood there and listened
>But it was silent
>The castle was dead
>Sighing yourself you tapped your bat against your shoulder before nudging Starlight
"Come on, let's hurry up with this walk. I wanna get some shut eye."
>Though Starlight looks like she doesn't want to continue you poke her with your bat until she started walking
>It was real fun jumping at shadows and all but it was getting late
>You wanted to get some--

>Though it was faint, so faint that you could have just been imagining things, you heard something just beyond the light
"...Twilight? Celestia? Cadence?" you called. "Is anypony there?"
>Starlight opened her mouth to say something but you shushed her, straining your ears
"...Anon? If that's you I swear to Celestia I'm going to beat you black and blue!"
>Silence was your answer
>Cursing, you casted a will-o'-wisp spell
>A small ball of soft blue light formed next to your head
>With a flick of your horn the little ball started to lazily float down the hall
"Keep an eye out behind us, Starlight. I'll take the lead."
>You were going to hit Anon with this fucking bat if you saw him
>You swear to any god listening that you were going to smack him right in the knees until he cried like a little bitch
>You didn't care if the other girls chewed you out over it
>There was no way in Tartarus that you were getting tossed into a tub like some stupid dog!
>You could feel unseen eyes watching you as you slowly make your way through the castle
>Your will-o'-wisp lights the way as you search high and low for your husband
>For any sign of him
>A trace
>But you couldn't find a thing
>You checked the kitchen
>You checked the library
>You searched every bathroom and closet
>But you came up empty
>And still there was that lingering feeling that something, or someone, was watching the two of you
>Waiting for you lower your guard and...
"Arugh! Celestia dammit!"
>Facehoofing, you turned to a rather frazzled Starlight
>Just like you had been doing she was staring at every shadow like Anon was just going to appear and jump you
>But he wasn't going to
>Anon wasn't in the castle
>He probably wasn't anywhere near the place
>You'd bet a bag of bits that he was in a hotel or something sleeping the night away!
>You and Starlight were just letting your imaginations run wild
>You were a smart pony
>You knew better than to let your imagination get the better of you like that!
>You were hearing sounds and seeing moving shadows because you WANTED to see them, nothing more
"There's nothing here and we're running around like a bunch of scared fillies," you said with a groan
>Starlight nervously giggled
>"Yeah, we're really jumpy tonight huh?"
>The two of you look at each other before breaking out into a giggle fit
>You both had searched every nook and cranny of this castle and you hadn't found Anon
>Which meant that he wasn't stalking you or running around or--

>"Shimmy Sham."

>As one both your and Starlight's head snapped to the right
>There, standing not five feet away from you with his arms crossed, was your husband
>Though you could barely make it out with your will-o'-wisp spell you could see that the human was smiling
>That smile, partially covered by shadows, gave him a far more sinister appearance than you would have thought
>So, letting pony instinct take over, you let out a shrill yell and swung your bat as hard as you could
>Time seemed to slow down as the aluminum bat went speeding toward your grinning husband
>You could hear Starlight letting out a yell of her own, you could see Anon shift from left to right, not at all trying to dodge your swing, you could even see the pale blue light shining off your bat


>You jumped as your bat slammed into what you thought was Anon,only for the human to shatter into a million pieces
>Did that mean you hit a mirror?!
>You twisted around to see that Anon was standing right behind you
>You were about to hop away from the human but he was too fast, quickly launching himself forward and picking your up
"LET ME FUCKING GO ANON!" you roared, kicking and wiggling as hard as you could kick and wiggle
>Your horn glowed brightly, and with just a thought your bat began to speed back toward you
"Oh, you're gonna get it so fucking--OW!"
>You reeled back in pain as Anon reached up and flicked your horn
>The magic flowing through it sputtered out
>Oh no!
>Without your magic to control it your bat went flying past you and Anon and down the hall, hitting the floor with a loud clang before it disappeared into parts unknown
>Gritting your teeth you tried to fire up your horn again, but once again Anon flicked it
>"OW! Starlight! Quit standing there and fucking--"


>You stiffened as, with a flash of light, you and Anon found yourselves outside in front of the castle
>You could see that the full moon was shining bright, bathing everything in its pale light
>You could also see the millions of stars shining brightly in the sky
>If you weren't so floored with what just happened you'd have said that it was a lovely night out
>But all you could think about was the fact that you weren't in the castle anymore
>Did she really?...
>Growling, you thrashed against Anon's grip with all of your might
>Did that filly just TELEPORT you and Anon outside of the fucking castle?!
>What were you chopped oats?
>She didn't even bother to TRY and help you!
>When you got back in that fucking castle you were going to shove your hoof so far up her--
>"Oh come on, Sunny, it's not the end of the world," Anon said, holding you at arm's length and carrying you toward the tub
>"Come on, quit the yelling, you're gonna wake up the neighbors."
"WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK--upmhmpihmuhpm!"
>As your "loving" husband dropped you into that tub of water you wondered where everything had gone wrong
>Did you piss off some high power?
>Was it karma from you turning into a she-demon?
>That was probably it...
>After spending a few moments gargling soapy water and thinking over your life choices it occurred to you that you were still a unicorn
>A very powerful unicorn that had expansive magical knowledge
>You were gonna turn your hubby into a TOAD for this!
>You erupt from the water with murder in your eyes and your horn glowing
>You were about to start firing off spells when you noticed that your husband was shirtless and was starting to take his pants off
>You'll bite
"And what the fuck do you think you're doing?" you demanded, trying your best to sound angry even while Anon undressed in front of you
>Sweet Celestia above did you love that flank of his...
>Anon notices your staring and grins, wiggling his hips teasingly
>"Like what you see, Sunset?" he purred
>Frowning, you looked away from him with a huff
"Fuck off," you grumble. "And hurry up so I can get this--"
>You went silent as Anon completely stripped and hopped into the tub with you
>You now noticed that the water was unusually warm
>Almost hot enough to come from a shower or an actual bath
>"I got Shining to heat up the water while I was in the castle watching you and Starlight running around," Anon said, as if reading your mind
>You looked up at him and noticed that he had shampoo and soap in either hand
>"Now get your furry little butt over here so the two of us can get cleaned off
>You stared up at Anon with narrowed eyes
>The fucker...
>He knew that you couldn't stay mad at him when the two of you were bathing together...
>Though a part of you still wants to tell him to fuck off and teleport back into the castle you sighed and did as Anon asked, discarding your sweatshirt and socks and paddling toward him
>Curse your husband and his ability to get to do whatever he wanted...
>"Come on, we don't got all night."
ayy its l&p
"I'm coming, I'm coming. Just give me a minute you pain in the ass."
>"Pain in the flank."
"Hush up."
>Anon sat down as you made your way over to him, lathering his hands with your special soap
>The second that you were within arm's length those hands of his grabbed you and started working their magic
>Ho momma...
>You let out a pleased groan as Anon's fingers dug into your coat, cleaning and massaging you at the same time
>You leaned into his touch, taking a mini step forward, then another one, then another one, until you found yourself nose-to-nose with your husband
>Anon smiled, kissing you on the cheek
>"There's a toothbrush and toothpaste on that stool over there, Sunny," he said, thoroughly lathering your coat
>Groaning again you plopped down
"You know we all brushed our teeth right?"
>You closed your eyes as Anon started rubbing the bar of soap on your lower back
>"I'm just covering all the basics, hon. Now start brushing while I keep scrubbing."
>If this stallion wasn't careful you were gonna jump his bones and take him right in the middle of the street
>Knowing him he'd be into that...
>The next few minutes are spent in relative silence, the only sounds being the chirping of crickets and your pleased moans
>Though your husband was a giant compared to you he was surprisingly gentle with his washing
>You were sure if he had a mind he could leave bruises with those big hands of his, but you knew that he wouldn't do that
>He'd just smile that smile of his while he washed you, humming an odd little tune to himself
>Sometime in the cleaning you found yourself sitting in his lap with your back pressed against his chest
"You know, if you're not careful you're going to make me fall asleep," you murmur
>You sank a little further into Anon's lap as he gave your rump a gentle squeeze
"Oh, you fucker~"
>Managing to crack an eye open you looked down at Anon's hands
>Lifting up a hoof you imagined your old digits back when you were Sunset, the girl from Canterlot High School
>Your fingers had been slender, your nails perfectly manicured and painted
>You worked hard to keep your hands pristine, presentable, and perfect
>Not because you liked them all that much more than your hooves but because you needed to keep up appearances
>In Canterlot High you were the Queen Bee
>Teacher and student alike feared and admired you and your rise to power
>It had been easy to climb to the top
>In that world a girl wasn't expected to have drive
>She wasn't expected to tough or self sufficient or ANYTHING
>Sure, if you looked at it on the surface, listened to some of the women that managed to claw their way to power and the girly songs and all of that girls wanted to be seen as equal as men; just as resourceful and strong and driven
>But it had only taken a week and you had known better
>Women, even though they shouted their independence and strength to the heavens, were just like the stallions here
>They were emotional, they wanted everything handed to them, they wanted the easy way out
>Many didn't want to work hard to get the things that they really, truly wanted
>It wasn't all of their fault you supposed, their society made them into that and handicapped them from the start
>But just because you were handicapped didn't mean you couldn't TRY!
>Look at what you had done!
>With nothing but the clothes off your back you had had hundreds of people doing whatever you wanted!
>Your eye snapped back shut and you sighed again, though this one didn't sound all that content
>You might have gained a shitload of power but it had twisted you into an even worse person
>You might have been a little... cocky and arrogant when you had been Celestia's student but there you had turned into a full-fledged bitch
>You had gone out of your way to torment your fellow students
>You had gathered dirt on the teachers and used it to blackmail them into doing everything that you wanted
>And... some other things that you weren't too proud of looking back on them...
>You had forgotten everything that Celestia had taught you and became the worst version of yourself; angry and spiteful at the world for no better reason than to be angry and spiteful
>...But then Twilight arrived
>Though you did everything in your power to make her life miserable she not only foiled your plans to take over Equestria she also went out of her way to saved you
>Showed you the power of friendship
>Brought you and Rarity and Pinkie and Fluttershy and Rainbow and Applejack together
>Your best friends, people who, even though you were a dimension away, cared for just as much as you cared for your herd mates
>The six of you had been through so much together
>The long, arduous road of showing Canterlot High that you weren't just some monster
>The whole siren debacle
>The Equestria games when that world's Twilight had turned into a she-demon
>Now THAT was some shit...
>They had even helped you come to terms with your old self
>They were the reason that you had worked up the courage to make the trip back to Equestria
>It was because of them you had made the trip to Canterlot and had your heart-to-heart with your old teacher
>They even had a hand in pushing this big green lug into your life
>Them and Twilight...
>A small, nostalgic smile worked its way onto your face
"Hey Anon? Do you remember when Rarity and the other girls met the human elements?"
>Anon chuckled in your ear
>"Yeah, I remember. Both Pinkies had a cupcake eating contest and got so sick they had to get their stomachs pumped. Now turn around so I can get your stomach."
>You did as he asked, your smile getting just a little bit bigger
"Remember when we found the two Fluttershy's in that closet?"
I'm kinda liking your sunny.
>"It doesn't matter what fucking dimension she's in, that little yellow horse is fucked up in all of them."
>Leaning up you kissed his nose
"Hey, that little yellow horse was the flower mare for our wedding, mister."
"It's not my fault that you and the other girls have shit taste in your flower horses."
>Snorting, you shoved your husband
>Oh stars above had your wedding been something
>All of you girls were losing your minds as you got ready for the thing
>You had to make more than one trip to the bathroom to throw up
>Cadence found Moony hiding in a cabinet shaking like a leaf
>Even the mighty Celestia, your alpha, had had to be physically dragged to the podium because she was all frozen up in terror
>You had all been scared that Anon was going to say no when you asked him to marry you all
>Or not show up
>Or try to marry one of you and leave the others in the dust
>It, admittedly, wasn't very rational thinking but it was your wedding day
>A day that you honestly didn't think would ever happen
>Not to a mare like you...
>So you had every right to feel nervous and freak out over nothing
>You are brought out of your thoughts as Anon dumped some water on your head
>"Alright," he said, looking you over. "I think I got you all nice and clean. Time for the two of us to hit the hay."
>Getting the idea you kissed Anon's cheek and hopped off his lap, allowing him to stand up
>Still soaking wet the two of you got out of the tub
>Your horn sparked to life, and with a spell you evaporated the water off the two of you
>It really does feel nice being clean again...
>Not that you were going to tell Anon that
>Reaching down to pick up his clothes your husband looked over at you
>"Alright, come on, let's get going."
>You looked his naked form up and down
"You feeling a little frisky, hon? You usually don't go streaking in the middle of the night."
>Anon shrugged
>>Cadence found Moony hiding in a cabinet shaking like a leaf
>Even the mighty Celestia, your alpha, had had to be physically dragged to the podium because she was all frozen up in terror
>"I forgot to bring a change of clothes and it's not like anyone's gonna see me, and even if they did I doubt they'd care."
>Giving your ear a flick, Anon started making his way down the street
>Now come on, I wanna get some sleep. Leave your clothes in the tub me and Shining will get them tomorrow."
>Your walk was filled with comfortable silence, the two of you just enjoying the night and each other's company
>Eventually you came upon a hotel
>Anon, still in his birthday suit (unf~) took you up a flight of stairs and opened one of the hotel doors
>"My lady's room awaits."
>You snorted again, making sure to smack his butt with your tail as you walked past him
"So where's Trixie? Did you lock her in a closet or something?"
>"She's probably sleeping, since, you know, it's like two in the morning or something like that."
>Walking into the room proper you see a king-sized bed with baby blue sheets
>It didn't look like the most comfortable bed in the world but it looked a heck of a lot better than most hotel beds that you've seen
>...This was an expensive room wasn't it?
>Thank Celestia your alpha was fucking rich...
>And sleeping in this bed, curled up into a ball and sleepily nomming on her hat, was Trixie
>Brushing past you Anon tossed his bundle of dirty clothes into the corner of the room and sat down on the other end of the bed so he didn't disturb Trixie
>His back was turned to you, and seeing that gave you an idea
>A horrible, terrible, wonderful idea
>A far less innocent grin comes to your face as your horn once again lit up
>Slowly but surely you started to get bigger
>Your hooves became smaller and started to split at the ends
>Your rear legs started to bend and become more shapely
>Your barrel started to change, your coat disappearing and changing to skin
>Even your face started to become flatter and your horn disappeared
>Your teats disappeared from your lower belly
oh boy
oooohhh boy
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>Two nipples appeared on your chest, which started to balloon
>Your hair grew longer, cascading around your shoulders
>There we go...
>In less than a minute you had changed from Sunset Shimmer the pony into Sunset Shimmer the human
>The shapely, smoking hot women that could and had gotten any man that she wanted when she wanted
>Looking down at your now womanly body you grinned
>Oh just you wait Nonny
>The Sham is a'comin'
>You strutted toward your man with the confidence of a woman that knew what she wanted
>And what you wanted was to twist the love of your life's balls just a little bit
>Just a little bit
>A teeny bit
>Purring, you quickly walked over and sat in Anon's lap, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling his face into your chest
"You know it's a real shame that you went through all that trouble of getting me clean, Nonny," you said, wiggling in his lap. "Because I feel like getting REAL dirty with you, honey bunny~"
>You giggled at Anon's jerk in surprise at your transformation, making sure to keep a good hold on his head
"Just think about all of the dirty fun the two of us could have in this bedroom~"
>Your husband tried to reach for your hands to release the death grip you have on his head but you just press your body against him, burying his head in your chest
>From within your cleavage you could hear him grunting, straining to keep himself sitting upright
"Maybe I should wake up Trixie so that she can join the fun," you continued, ignoring your hubby's struggle. "I bet I could even get her to use this spell so that you'd have to women to have fun with."
>You let out a girlish squeal as Anon blindly pawed at your back and butt
>Grinning like a fiend you leaned forward even more, trying to force him to lay flat on the bed
>But you weren't the heaviest girl in the world and your loving husband was a good deal stronger than he looked
>He didn't budge an inch but you weren't worried
>None can withstand the Sham
>The two of you playfully duke it out on the bed, doing your best to be quiet so that you wouldn't wake Trixie, until Anon managed to turn the tide
>His hands found their way to your elbows
>Now that he knew where your arms he did his best to break your grip
>You tried to stall him for as long as you could, frantically moving your arms, hopping up and down in his lap, even biting his ear, but eventually Anon managed to get a hold of your forearms
"Anon!" you whined as your husband broke your grip
>Pushing you away just enough so that you weren't threatening to knock him over, Anon looked up at your grinning face
>He then said those eight little words that had made you fall in love with him time and again
>These words calmed your fears that he was only with you because you could turn into... this
>That he loved you for being Sunset the slightly dorky mare not Sunset the human
>" Get that nohooves shit out of my face."
>A warmth filled your chest as you looked down at your husband
>The giant, crazy green putz that had slight anger issues and this weird fascination with varnishes and bubbly wrap
"Don't tell me what to do," you say, leaning down and pressing your mouth against his
>Anon doesn't resist as you gently push him into the bed, inhaling as you breath into his mouth
>Holding it in for a few moments he exhales, allowing you to share his breath
>Your heart nearly aches as the two of you lay there doing one of the most intimate things two ponies could do
>It felt right
>It felt good
>And by the time you broke away to look at your love you were grinning like a crazy mare
>Or, in this case, a crazy women
>Your grin widened just a hair at the thought, and with another sigh you wrapped your arms around Anon's neck and got comfortable on top of him
>Reaching down as intertwined his fingers with your own and gave his hand a squeeze
>Though she was still frowning, Anon gave your hand a squeeze back
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>With a snap of your fingers the blanket lifted over the two of you, tucking you both in
>Now was the time for the ballbusting to begin
>"Are you going to change back now?" Anon asked as you buried your face in his neck
"Nope. I think I'll sleep like this if you don't mind."
>"...I do mind. You fucking normy."
>Giggling, you kissed his neck
"I love you too, hon."
jesus how lewd.
Alright, I'm done
>>These words calmed your fears that he was only with you because you could turn into... this
>>That he loved you for being Sunset the slightly dorky mare not Sunset the human
>>" Get that nohooves shit out of my face."
fucking kek
>>None can withstand the Sham
We'll see about that Sunnybunny.
We'll see.
Awesome job as always, senpai!
That was really cute.
"Play with your heart?"
>The mare behind the counter nods and sighs dramatically. "Yes, Anon! You can't just sashay up here and give me that adorable look and have me cut my prices in half!"
>You hum to yourself, looking at some of the other stalls
>The owners quickly turn away from you, or go back to helping other customers
>Carrot horse actually goes back to arranging carrots by size
>Can't tell if lewd... or just busywork
"Now, you don't think I'm that cruel! You know I'm a regular, Blue Belle-"
>"Hmph! Only when I've got what you need-"
"And you got what I need right now, which is why I'm here. Come on. 25%? You're gonna sell out."
>Giving another overly-dramatic sigh, the mare scoots two large boxes of blueberries over to your side of the booth. "Fiiine. 8 bits."
>You make a scene out of patting yourself down for the money
>"Ah! No. No store credit - don't you even try."
>You both share a laugh as you drop the money on the counter, placing the food in your bag
>A little bit of theater and a little bit of flirting goes a long way to stretching your paycheck
>Who knew some mares just wanted to be talked to?
"Let's see... berries, mixed. Got it. Potates, Greens...carrots, alright. Well. I think I'm done..."
>"Last call!"
>Lifting your head up, you notice BonBon's almost out of goodies
>Damn. She was making saltwater taffy today! You gotta get you some!
>Eh. The girls can wait - you'll only be a few minutes late
>Surely they won't get into any trouble
>for some reason, you shudder involuntarily

>And you were, or else you were really stupid
"Are.... are you certain we should be doing this?"
>Rarity and Twilight nod furiously
>"Yes, see - we need to know what our colt's like, right? And what's more telling than a wardrobe?"
>"A-and! And it'll help us catalog what his tastes are, and we can start stockpiling gifts!"
>This mare, thinkin' ahead
>"Ah... don' get th' wrong idea, but... ain't this an' invasion of his privacy?"
>RD begins to antagonize AJ, and you let them have at each other
>It's only been a week since you got back from the Crystal Empire
>And this is the first time Anon's left you all alone in his house
>albeit, you're just waiting for him to get back from shopping for dinner, and not like... housesitting for him
>It doesn't really give you a lot of time to... explore
>You look at his dresser, swallowing slightly
>it's got 5 drawers - WHY does it have FIVE?!
>What the hell could he even have in there?!
>What if it's...what if it's HYGIENE products?!
>Please don't let it be a drawer filled with coat care products and powders and-
>"Pinkie, stop jumping on his bed and help us out here."
>"Aww, I was just practicing~"
>With a triumphant hop, the pink one lands next to you, brushing up against your barrel. "Soooo...adventurer.... which one should we start with?"
>You can feel them staring at you
>"L-logically, wouldn't the heavy stuff be on the bottom?"
>"Yeah, but isn't it just filled with clothing?"
>"I mean, that's all that was in the closet. Suits and suits and pants and-"
>"Rainbow, dear, we get the picture. We were there."
"Middle one."
>"Wait, what?"
>"Well, you're closest, so-"
>"....Well, you have wings, so-"
>With a heavy sigh you hover up to the top drawer and begin to slowly pull it out
>Or, you would, if your wings didn't stiffen and the blood rush to your face
>Oh dear
>"Wh- hey! Y'all alright up there? What is it- Twai?"
>"I got it, hold on-"
>A purple haze grips you and the drawer, and you both float down to the ground
>And everypony goes red
"Wh...why does he have a... a whole lingerie drawer?"
>"I-I-I-I'm sure there's a v-very good reason-"
>Silently, Fluttershy reaches in and picks up a white, fresh-scented pair of socks
>. . .
>"Wh...what do they feel like?"
>Damnit RD
>. . .
>*tapf* *tapf* *tapf*
>The carpet rebounds from where you stomped it
>You listen as your hooves make curious sounds, socks-on carpet muffling pretty much everypony
>They're... I mean, you'd NEVER be caught outside in these things
>You bend your knees and smile as the elastic tightens around your thighs
>You're unashamedly stiff right now
>"Heheheheee~ no WONDER Nonny has so many-"
>Ponka rolls around on the bed, her besock'd legs kicking in the air
>Rarity does a few 'test prances' infront of a mirror. "Hmm... sadly, my coat is white, so I don't get the contrast that the rest of you do, but..."
>She bends, and then grins
>Awww yeah she's discovered elasticy goodness
>"W-well. I don't see what th-the big deal is-"
>"Then whai dontcha' tuck yer wings back in an' come help me git the kitchen ready?"
>There's some sounds coming from down the hall, and you stick your head out just to see Fluttershy round the corner then stop
>You can't help but wiggle in excitement as you run into the hall
>aaaaaaand STOP
"Aww YEAH!"
>AW YES. You went like two - no, THREE body-lengths there!
* * *
>So, it only took about 5 minutes for everypony to realize that socks are the greatest thing, and shouldn't be kept to colts only
>I mean, you're not going to wear them OUTSIDE
>"Cheatin'! Pinkie, yer cheatin'!"
>Ponka sticks her tongue out as Twilight updates everypony's scores
>As soon as it became a competition Fluttershy bowed out to snuggle the furniture or something
>You're totally gonna make it to the end of the hall
>You're gonna DO IT
>You build up speed on the carpet for traction, and then as soon as you hit that little divider you swing your hips-
>"That's wha AH said!"
>"Four... no, Four and a quarter." Twilight says
aw shit
l&p AND bnw
>Grumbling, you make your way back to the herd
>Dang pink cheating horse
>You don't know how she did it, but...
>Whatever. Fucking gypsy magic horse
>As you plop your flank down beside Rarity, watching Dash Limber up for her 'totally awesome' run, Fluttershy makes a guest appearance
>"O-oh... so, um, is everyone having fun?"
>You grunt
>"She means yes, dear. Why don't you take a seat?"
>Rarity pats the space next to her
>"Sure. Thank you very much." Fluttershy smiles, leaning forward to nuzzle Rarity
>"You're quite we-"
>Mares down, Mares down!
"What in th- was that a lightning bolt?"
>"No, no no, that was like, a fluttershy-tier lightning bolt. So static, really."
>Rainbow lazily walks over, smirking at Rarity's red face
>"Well still! Fluttershy, you should know better than to track lightning into the house-"
>"B-b-b-but I don't do w-weather patrol! I-I'm sorry, Rarity! I don't know-"
>Your ear twitches
>*shuff shuff*
>*shuff shuff shuff*
>A shudder goes down your spine
>Don't look
>"Hey... Daring~"
>You swallow hard as Pinkie breathes hotly in your ear
"Y-yes, Pinkie P-"
"-AGH! Dangit!"
>You leap to your feet and whack her with a hoof
>No static
>Pinkie, laughing, scurries away
"...scuffling her hooves against the carpet - BOOKS!"
>"GAH! What?!" Twilight glares at your sudden outburst
"What the buck is she doing? WHY does she keep getting superpowers?!"
>Twilight stares at Ponka for a little while as she builds up a charge, then hoofshakes AJ, starting yet another chase
>"Oh! Well - ah. Socks are a fabric, and the carpeting is a fabric - so the friction between them is generating static electricity! That's the basic...fundamentals...."
>Everypony is staring at each other
>. . .
* * *
>You are the best shopper that ever was
>Tiny horses can't into haggling
>Bless your Uncle, Crazy Hassan, for teaching you how to barter like a man
>Enough root vegetables and greens to provide a hearty stew
>Stopped by the morgue, picked up some beef
>Celestia bless organ donors
>Plenty of blueberries, peaches and cream for a dessert...
>PLUS you got some of Bonbon's saltwater taffy. Last batch, if what she said was to be believed
>Man, this was gonna be EASY MODE.
>Throw everything into the crock pot, let it simmer, divvy up the stew - put the beef in yours, of course....
>You're gonna look like a master chef with zero actual work
>Balancing the bags on your wrists, you deftly thrust your key into that tight lock
>...you really need to get it oiled up or something
>With a hearty *click* you open the door
>. . . aaaaaand nothing
>You step into the hallway and are about to call out, until you hear.... something
>It sounds like... well, honestly, it sounds like mischief
>Silently you slide out of your shoes, placing your groceries at the front door
>Your socks make no noise against the hardwood
>Rounding the corner, you take stock of your living room
>. . .
>"Gonna...hahh...get you.... for that!"
>Twilight's legs are blur, yet she moves forward at a furious 1mph
>"Ah...nnf...ain' sorry! Ah dun need no book tah learn how tah farm!"
>It seems like Applejack is... advancing as well
>Looking around, from your high vantage point, you notice your... marefriends all shuffling at each other
>On your carpet
>...well those are ruined
>Like some tiny horse thunderdome, they pair off until just within booping range, then they shock their target and shuffle away
>AJ just scored a hit
>Doing a direct 180, she starts shuffling towards... looks like Daring
>From behind the couch you hear a dainty wail, and in a few moments Fluttershy rounds the armrest, the biggest shit-eating grin you've ever seen on her face
>. . .
>You lean against the wall, crossing your arms
>Blackmail material like this doesn't come across often
>You are TACO
>Tall food is nicest. He lets you snuggle with him in the big soft, and doesn't yell at you when you molt... most of the times
>He asks you to do it "in poses that would scare the childrens" but, you just molt under the tree
>It's cooler there
>But! Smaller foods are here today, so you hid under the bed
>You're not afraid of smaller foods, just when you come out sometimes they taste bitter and they make loud mouthsounds
>But maybe you fell asleep...? Is that why they're gone?
>Oh! Oh there's a thing on the floor!
>Ooooh it's one of your hidey places! The tall hidey place!
>That's a good one, it always smells so nice
>Smiling to yourself, you slide out from under the bed and proudly step into the drawer
>. . .
>But something's wrong
>The tiny soft edible pillows are gone
>In the distance you hear a squeal and some yelling
>. . .
>They took the tinies! HOW DARE THEY?!
>You scrunch so hard as you lay down in the less-soft drawer
>You're gonna molt RIGHT on their floor!
>Right after this nap! OOOH YOU HOPE YOU CAN KEEP THIS EXACT LEVEL OF ANGER UP THROUGH UNCONSIOUSNE-oh hey giant purple sparkly horse
>You....you shall be the first to fall
>"S-so, babe, uh... yanno, you can't uh - DON'T YOU FUCKING SAY A SINGLE-"
>An orange hoof meets a blue side, and RD wheezes out whatever else she was going to say
>"What, ah, what Rainbow meant to say was, ah...."
>Applejack glares at Daring, who looks quickly between her and you
>Keep the pokerface, Anon
>This is only getting better
>"S-so, love, uh.. w-well, yanno, I wanted to uh... play-"
>Everypony shakes their heads
>"-train our uh, herd to... better protect you, i-in case you're foalnapped again!"
>Oooh, finished strong
>Good for you
>Time to add in just a piiiinch of doubt:
>Oh, she looks like she's going to press it!
>"S-so we were doing a uh, traction-less obstacle course! To make sure that, if, oh I dunno, we're running after you in a freshly-waxed marble corridor, that we're able to cat-"
"But half of you have wings. You could just fly."
>You watch the hope die in Daring's eyes
>". . . w-well, if we've escaped, but are still bound-"
>"A-and you know how often RD and I sprain our wings-"
>"S-so, well, we need to make sure we can operate regardless of optimal conditions! It's very, uh, I mean it's a very specific set of skills - I don't know if you can truly appreciate the dedication we're demonstrating in training like this-"
>As one, these little niglet horses all nod, smiling wide
>Smiling, and still ruining your socks
>Aww, you're a softie - let them keep their prid-
>You turn your head to look up the stairs as Twilight descends, wearing...
>An additional sock on her tail, ears and - wings...
>Fuck THOSE are ruined now; no way the elastic held.
>Triumphantly she lands on the hardwood hallway, her legs skidding just a little bit out of her control before she turns, her triumphant grin immediately vanishing
>. . .
>You raise a single eyebrow
>You raise your second eyebrow
>You see Twilight look at you, then at somepony behind you (probably Daring or RD, your troublemakers) then back at you
>"O-or, uh, it's an experiment ... on... uh...t-trains? Training. Training! Yes! Training to do experime-no! Uh-"
>Your mind's eye paints a picture of rapid hoof-gestures, mouthing out words, possibly drawings?
>Hmm. You'll turn around suddenly in a few seconds to see what's going on behind you
>This show here is still too good
>"training...to.... bind...wings...on...with? With marble... uh. Oh!"
>Twilight looks up at you, her ears flicking subconsiously - causing your socks to waggle atop her head
>"We're training to have you bind our wings and wax us on a cold marble floor so we can foalnap you."
"Actually, that makes some sen-"
>You immediately turn your head, and your herd freezes
>Let's see
>Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are mimicing some sort of bondage setup
>AJ and Daring are - it looks like AJ's mounted Daring? Or that's some sort of pony heimlich-maneuver?
>Fluttershy is successfully hiding behind a lamp, in the if-I-can't-see-him-he-can't-see-me kinda way
>But she's not moving at all, just looking at you
>Is she... trying to be a rabbit? Just holding still, hoping your sight is based on movement and heat?
>Rarity's magic suddenly ceases, and whatever she was holding up is dropped behind your couch
>Speaking of, Pinkie's sitting on your couch, holding a "Trump/Carson will make America Great Again by making Anime Real with ancient egyptian pyramid grain silos built by mexicans" sign
>....who are these people? Donald Trump, the real estate guy?
>Th' fuck?
>Thank God you're out of touch with politics - that sounds like a headache and a half.
>But, there's only one thing to do now.
>You are Daring
>And your colt- eer, man? Manfriend. Is curled up in the doorway
>Shaking violently
>His face has gone from that beautiful emerald green
>To an almost purple
>And you'd be concerned about him if it wasn't for the deafening laughter echoing through the house
>You're blushing so hard you can barely breathe - just
>Juuuust fuuuuuccckk why did he have to come home NOW
>Come ON!
>You stomp your hooves, making soft *paf* noises that are drowned out
"OK! Ok come on OK!"
>You scrunch up at him, but his eyes are screwed shut
>You start to kick off your socks
>Stupid idea
>Stupid fun socks!
>Stupid Anon for having socks!
>Fluttershy makes the mistake of coming out of her hiding place and trying to talk to Anon
>That's apparently the wrong thing to do; he pulls her into a hug while still laughing
>Now she's embarassed AND comfy
>"HAaah... aaah, oh God, just- just, please-"
"Alright! Alright already!"
>"Nono, hehe, just - fuckin' coming around the couch-"
>"Ahnon, sweet apple, come on'! That's enough a' makin fun-"
>"But then Twilight with the sock on her horn-"
>He falls into another gigglefit which lasts for a few moments, dissolving into hiccups
>Fluttershy is pouting so hard, but she's also getting bellyrubs, so, yanno
>Fuck her
>All of Anon's socks lie in a pile in the middle of the livingroom
>Goodbye, socks, I'll miss you
>But I'd never admit that
>"S-*hic*so, grocer-*hic*-ees by the door. Twi-*hic*iht?"
>Blushing furiously, PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE, TRANSCENDENT SOCKOMANCER walks down the hallway to bring in food
>Anon, at least and at last, has finally calmed down
>"Oh... oh man. I'm going to remember that forever-"
>"Anon, please! Darling-"
>"Well, Rara, just remember that when you start getting uppity~"
>He grins, flashing his canines
>Although your tail lifts just a bit, ice runs through your veins
>"So...Rarity, you'll be replacing those-"
>"O-of course, dear-"
>"And providing a few pairs to everyone else-"
>"B-but! Anonymous, darling, that's just too much to ask us to-"
>He smiles, softer this time. "I thought it was adorable, and you seemed to be enjoying yourselves~"
>Blushing resumes
>He stands up with Fluttershy, de-socking her and tossing the offending garments onto the pile
>You start as a black blur runs past you and plows headlong into the sockpile
>Anon chuckles again. "Hey, Taco~!"
>Taco looks over at Anon, narrowing her eyes as she splays out over her new territory
>"Issat your sock? C'mere, issat your sock~" He leans over and grabs one of the socks, starting a playful tug-of-war with the feral insect-vampire with razor-sharp teeth
>Hmmmmm maybe want to do something about that?
>Taco rolls over and starts batting her hooves against his arm, hissing furiously - and that's when Fluttershy finally asks to be let go
* * *
>Rarity's Designs lay against the table
>Really? Red base with gold threads?
>You give her a flat look, but she's ignoring you - instead talking shop with Flutters about patterns and stiching and other colty things that you really can't be bothered to-
>A hoof pokes you in the side
>"Hey, Daring-"
>You turn to Twilight, who's magicking something under the table into your leg
>Leaning down, you notice it's a flyer
>"I was thinking - let's stop him now before he starts cooking, cause that's a tirade I want to skip - and do this!"
>It's... Oooh
>The Rust-Belly Food Competition
>A traveling group of tradesponies who provide curious, non-regional foods
>Plenty of stalls, tons of little carnival games - the usual fare
>Hah. See what I did there?
>. . . fuck even you didn't think that was funny
>Ah well
>"So, we go here, get his mind distracted - today becomes the fair day instead of, yanno-"
"Aaah, yeah! Ok."
>It looks like you're second-to-last to get the plan, cause everypony else is nodding their heads
>Save for, once again, Mrs.I'm-going-to-ally-with-our-coltfriend-and-make-the-frilliest-socks-ever-for-everypony-but-me
>White with her cutie marks on the outside. FAH.
>Oh hey, what's this?
"The... rust belly Cast Iron trophy? blah blah... oh!"
>Your eyes open wide as you continue to read
>From across the table Dash pipes up. "Yeah! So, we do that - among all the badflanks here - cept for Twilight-"
>"-we should win that trophy!"
"Yeah, but... diluted Tomato juice is a mandatory condiment?"
>Twilight picks up. "Well, there hasn't been a death in 10 years, and it's now heavily monitored by both the local doctor of choice and a travelling one with the group. I mean, you can still get sick-"
>"But what is better in life, than to rout your enemies at the table before ye and hear the lamentations of the menfolk!" Pinkie barks, slamming her hooves onto the table
>"You'll SCUFF MY TABLE if you keep that up!" Anon yells from the kitche-
>Oh come on, that's not even fair!
"Nothing! But, uh, can you stop for a minute?!"
>"Sto - I'm almost done with the salads, calm dow-"
>You all cringe collectively
"Ok. Rock, Horseshoe, Fetlock for who has to tell him?"
>Your herd nods, and then begins to play the most dangerous game
>. . .
>Aaaand Pinkie lo-
>She looks just as surprised as you when her game with AJ ends
>The smile you wear
>It is so wide your eyes can't open
"Good luuuuucccckkkkkk~"
>"Rassafrassin... cheatin'"
>Come on, mare up Ponka
>She hops off from her elevated chair and makes her way into the kitchen
>"Almost, al...hmm?"
>There's murmuring
>Even the two frilly fillies finally realize there's more to life than socks, and quiet down
>wait for it
>Wait for it
>"Oh! Well ok! Sure - that's fine, this'll keep."
>"Thank you for telling me, Pinkie. Any longer and it would've been the point of no return!"
>You hear a very VERY audible kiss, and Pinkie trots back out with your grin on her face
>"Ready to go, girls?" Anon says, wiping his hands with a towel as he steps back into the dining room
"Yes, dear!"
>You reply, your teeth grinding as the pink one makes bedroom eyes at Anon
>"I'm always ready to go, Nonny~"
>"Well then, that means you can run off and get us our tickets, hmm? We'll catch up later."
>Pinkie giggles and wiggles her flank before bounding out of the house
>Fucking gypsy hoers
* * *

>Who must shitpost like a coursing river
>meme-ing hard like a great typhoo-
>Oh wait
>No, you're ANON again
>And you're actually surrounded
>By your herd, of course
>Maybe you should invest in a whip and a prod to keep 'em on track?
>As soon as you got into the fairground proper, it seems like they formed a little V around you, following you wherever you go
>Territorial horses are adorable horses
>You do some of the traditional fair fare
>You chuckle at that pun you just did
>What a kneeslapper
>. . .
>Oh fuck you might have early-onset DADs
>Anyway. You get some stuffed animals and get to play guess-your-luck with some floating ducks
>Real ones, apparently
>Fluttershy... pulled the mare aside who ran that booth while you were playing
>The big deal is apparently the food stalls and the food competition - which, let's face it, is usually the big deal for these kinds of things
>But, free, cheap, bad-for-you food that you can take home and that can survive a nuclear explosion?
>That's a win in your book
>"Hey Anonimousies! There's some yummy cotton candy over here that won't go to your butt too quickly, wanna-"
>Ponka is interrupted by a purple haze, and you idly wonder how Bob Marley's ghost is doing
>"A-anon, just - you can get cotton candy if you want to! We like your flank just how it is-"
>You watch with growing curiosity as the main tent gets its finishing touches, decked out in a tomato theme
"So you *have* been staring at it this whole time?"
>Italian, then? Interesting choice - but isn't that "Bitaly" here?
>"Wh?! Ah, n-no! Well, I mean, yes, we are - but not, we're not! I mean, it's a nice ass, but, like-"
>Shit, if they're trying to serve ponies pasta then you'll just nominate your herd.
>The amount of spaghetti they produce on accident will drown out the competition

>Oh, here we go
>Looking down, you notice there's a glance shared among your little horses
>When will they learn your superior human height allows you to see all and know all
>"H-hey Anon!"
"Yes, Bluefast?"
>You smile as she bashfully hovers up to your eye level
>"W-we were wondering, well... would it be alright if, maybe, you watched us in the competition?"
>She's not making eye contact with you when she's asking
>You lean forward and plant a gentle kiss on her soft, warm cheek
>As you pull back she looks at you with a deep blush
"Go get 'em, tiger."
>RD goes from literally 0 to Explosion right infront of you on her way to the sign-up booth
>That would be adorable if the shockwave didn't just knock you and everyone else on your asses
>Ah well. It's a pretty day, might as well hoGodhorseseverywhere-
>"Ah cain't believe ah fool mare would-"
>"Oh dear, please, let me loo-"
>"The silly filly shouldn't have run off-"
Love the green, friend, and am looking forward to more. The pacing is very well maintained.

And done. Updating pastebin shortly.
Like so: http://pastebin.com/wVcHnKXp
>>From behind the couch you hear a dainty wail, and in a few moments Fluttershy rounds the armrest, the biggest shit-eating grin you've ever seen on her face
holy shit
thats adorable

I like how you wrote Sunbun in this one. Very natural.
File: 1450049960195.jpg (38 KB, 800x618) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
38 KB, 800x618
>taco is the family pet
And suddenly, even more green.

>Compared to the first few days of rushing for things you needed, your exams were easy.
>After the first day, your wallet felt empty, but thankfully, Celestia held true to her promise of financial aid.
>With bits to spare, you obtain a supply of diapers, baby milk(Which is apparently a thing here), and other sundries.
>But with the basics down, the next problem rears it's head.
>You're not going to be able to live at the dorm.
>That means renting an apartment, or finding a really cheap house.
>And to pay for that, you need a job.
>And since you can't affort a babysitter, nor would you ever want to leave Venus with one, that means finding a job that will let you have Venus with you.
>Staring at the help wanted part of the newspaper, you rub your temples.
>This is going to suck, big time.
>Venus has been sleeping fairly well lately, meaning you have been sleeping well too.
>You usually only have to wake up twice each night.
>Oh hey, Entry level office work, that might work.
>Circling it, you continue down the list, circling most entry level jobs that don't require constant activity or are dangerous worksites like construction.
>An odd entry catches your eye, and you scan over it.
>Masseuse needed, Training can be provided if applicant meets base skill requirements.
>The location is a spa, so you mark it with a maybe.
>A last resort, so to say.
>With a list of places to go to, a pack filled with baby supplies and enough bits to grab lunch, you prepare Venus's baby carrier.
>Since there's nothing designed for your body type, at least, none that are a reasonable price, you had to get the largest size pony one available and fiddle with the straps till it works, sort of.
>It's far from the most comfortable thing for you, but it fits and it holds Venus securely.
>Speaking of, you carefully and slowly lift her up, setting her in the carrier without waking her.
>Today's going to be a long enough day as is, no need to get her going early.

>Loaded up, you quietly leave, nodding to the Dorm Warden as you pass.
>While she doesn't know the whole story, she's the on of the key reasons Venus hasn't been discovered.
>Looking over your list you suddenly wish you had a map.
"Guess I'll just have to wing it," you say to yourself, heading for the main street.
>The first couple you find easily, but are rejected quite swiftly due to Venus and the working requirements.
>Secretary and office work proves rather awkward and cumbersome, since the typewriters are designed for hooves, not fingers.
>Others require magic, and are unicorn only because of that.
>Interview by interview, hour by hour your options shrink.
>While many places would willingly hire you, even though you're not able to finish high school, it's all brought back to Venus.
>Dinner time nears and you notice a help wanted sign on the side of a resturant.
>Looking at the name tells you it's called "Hondo's Sports bar."
>Admittedly, not the catchiest of names, or the best of options, but it couldn't hurt.
>Walking in the front door, a warmth washes over you, despite the nice weather outside.
>A pony hurriedly runs up to you from out at the tables, putting on a smile.
>"Table for one?" she asks, and you shake your head.
"I saw the sign outside, I'm hoping for an interview."
>"Oh thank goodness. We've been really busy since we're short staffed. I'll go get the boss."
>The mare runs off to the back, returning shortly with a stockier unicorn stallion with a small brown moustache.
>"Well how do you do, I'm Hondo Flanks, and I hear you're looking at applying?"
"Yes, I hope."
>"You hope? Well, that's not very promising. Come, let's sit and chat."
>Following him to an open table off to the side, you sit across from him, undoing Venus's carrier.
>"Since I've introduced myself, how about you introduce yourself to me?"

"My name is Anon, I'm a human, I'm looking for my first job, and I have a daughter."
>"That so," he says, scratching his chin, "and I take it this is your little girl?"
"Yes. Her name is Venus."
>"And I take it there is a reason you have her with you when doing job interviews?"
"Well, long story short, I'm the only family she has, and I can't afford anyone to take care of her."
>"Not even family?"
>Shaking your head, you sigh.
"Another long story."
>"Then something you could answer then. What do you think you could bring to the table if you worked here?"
"Food and drinks," you reply, giving him a smile.
>He lets out a chuckle, "Alright, I'll give you that. So, what kind of availability do you have?"
"My schedule is basicly free, though I'd prefer not to work too late, since I'd still have to walk home with Venus."
>"I see. Now, about how far from here do you live?"
"Right now, about a half hour walk, though I do plan on moving soon."
>About to ask another question, Hondo stops when Venus lets out a quiet cry.
"Sorry, just give me a second," you say before lifting your daugter from her carrier.
>Hondo seems a little surprised, while you cradle Venus with one hand and dig for a toy with the other.
>Finding her stuffed animal, you set it with her, calming her down.
>"You know," Hondo says, resting his hooves on the table, "I'm sure the Princess would be willing to aid you, since your daughter is an alicorn,"
"She is, but I'm not going to live off another ponies kindness. What kind of father would I be if I didn't try to provide for her myself?"
>"Well said!" Hondo exclaims, slamming a hoof on the table, "I like you, Anon. Show up for training the day after tomorrow, and we'll see how well you can handle yourself and your daughter."
"Just like that?"
>"My friend, I have a little girl of my own, and between you and me, I've got another on the way. I know how you feel."
This thread is starting off strong.

>"Besides, having a foal with you really draws in the tips, especially from the evening crowd," he says with a wink.
"Thank you for this opportunity, Mr. Flanks, you won't be dissapointed," you say excitedly, reaching across the table to shake his hoof.
>"Just Hondo, please," he replies, meeting your hand with a hoof, "I will see you then."
>Venus lets out a happy gurgle, and you rub her head.
>Scooping her up, you give her a snuggle, before setting her in her back in her carrier.
>"Try and be here for Eight. The morning's always slow, so we can get a feel for how well you can handle yourself."
"Can do. Have a good day," you say Venus's carrier strapped back on.
>"You as well," he replies, waving as you head out.
>Half a block later, you realize there's no way you'll be able to sneak Venus past at this time of day.
>You could probably have Celestia teleport you there, but there's no telling if that's good for babies, and it increases the chances of running into her...
>Idly wandering around, you eventually come to a park where you sit on a bench, pulling Venus from her carrier.
>She gives a small yawn, so you bring out a small blanket and wrap her up before starting to rock her to sleep.
>She's mildly unhappy with this, so you bring out the milk bottle and present the end to her.
>It may not be very warm, but she starts drinking anyways, slowly settling down to sleep.
>Several ponies pass, but none disturb you, which you're thankful for.
>You may be an oddity, but not so much that ponies really react often.
>Sure, there are the odd curious ponies, but even they aren't too intrusive.
>Plus, it's not like you get out all that much.
>And now you have a social heavy job.
>This may not have been your best decision, but there's no turning back now.
>Tilting your daughter upright, you pat her back, slowly getting her to expel the air buildup in her stomach.
>Letting out a sigh, you set her sleeping form in the carrier, before heading back to the dorm.

>Perhaps the Dorm Warden will let you stay in her room for a bit.
>Training went well, and thankfully the "Sports bar" is also a family resturant, so it had a foal-proofed area that you could leave Venus is when needed.
>Most of the time you were dealing with small groups or couples, since you worked the Breakfast and Lunch shift, so you rarely had to leave her there.
>While you aren't working full time, it's more than enough, when coupled with Celestia's funding, to let you save up to rent an appartment.
>After learning you've gotten a job, Celestia decides to come for a visit, and you discuss with her about where you should look for appartments.
>Venus grew quick quickly in the first few months, which Celestia assured you was normal.
>By two months, she was quite mobile, getting into all sorts of places if you weren't careful.
>Her magic started manifesting shortly after that, though it was mainly just short sputters of light from her horn.
>Again, normal, according to Celestia.
>It does unfortunately mean that she's waking up more often, as magic occasionally discharges and the light wakes her.
>And of course, that means you get woken too.
>Ah, the joys of parenthood.
>Before the end of the school year, you found an appartment and moved out.
>There wasn't exactly a celebration or anything, since you couldn't really tell anyone.
>Celestia helped anyways, even going so far as to provide you with a table and chair set.
>Nothing fancy, but you were far from going to look a princess horse's gift in the mouth.
>Or however that saying went.
>By fall, you were sending letters back and forth with Celestia on an almost weekly basis, discussing Venus's growth or work or just daily little problems.
>At work you slowly needed to spend less and less time watching Venus, as she grows more capable of self entertainment.
>One day, you get a real kicker as you're called in to work to not only handle a shift, but also to babysit Hondo's daughter, Rarity.

>You had met her several times before, and she's often proven to be a boon as she would watch Venus for you when visiting work.
>You learned later that Hondo's wife, Cookie, had gone into labour, and that they had another daughter.
>A little pink and purple maned filly named Sweetie Belle.
>And he did not let anyone forget it, since he had her with him most days at work.
>Cookie always seemed a little exasparated with him, but she always had a smile too.
>Maybe Ca...
>No, she wouldn't be like that.
>Through the grapevine, you've heard she's back at school and acting like nothing happened.
>Apparently it became like you just dissapeared, and everyone forgot you.
>You miss your old friends a bit, but you've become friends with some of your co-workers.
>Minimal disposable income however, means you often can't go out shopping or things with them.
>Venus also interferes with some plans.
>Overall, she's rather well behaved, though since you're rarely more than a few dozen feet from her, most problems are solved quickly anyways.
>The real problems began when she figured out how to open the gate to the foal area at work.
>Needless to say, you were shocked when she was found toddling through the main area, looking for you.
>She was walking and even running by 11 months, talking, albeit only a few words by 16 months.
>Her magic use was focused enough for simple telekinesis by two years.
>With Sweetie being only a few months younger than her, they often played together both at work and at other times.
>Almost weekly, you have to send development reports to Celestia, since this is the first time an Alicorn has been born and raised.
>All the current ones ascended when they were a teen or young adult.
>Even so, you're strangely not that much of an oddity.
>Sure, you're an alien monkey thing with a future princess for a daughter, but to others, you're a stallion working hard to care for his daughter.

>Sometimes, you're extremely grateful that Venus is a pony and not a human or half human half pony thing, since it means you don't have to buy things like clothes.
>Though with her wings and her shockingly early flight learning, they may have just gotten in the way.
>Apparently pegasii don't really start flying till about five, but Venus was getting air time by three and a half.
>And boy did that get her into some trouble.
>It meant all your foalsafing went out the window, and you had to improvise new things to prevent her from getting into stuff.
>While she isn't normally one to go against what you tell her, she's a curious little filly.
>And that means locking everything.
>Also, you're so glad magic and flight are mostly instinctive to ponies.
>There's no way you could teach Venus any of it.
>Celestia helps teach her tricks though, whenever she stops by.
>Tricks she is always excited to show you again and again.
>She's always so happy to be patted on the head and praised.
>You'd say she's a daddy's girl, but with no mom...
>It's nearly impossible to even go out to meet mares, between work and child raising.
>Celestia gives you days off whenever she has one, as she'll spend the day foalsitting for you.
>Imagine your shock when you get home and Venus calls out, "Auntie 'lestia, Daddy home!"
>You don't mind it, but that doesn't make it any less surprising.
>After that, Celestia tried to find more time to visit, and with some success.
>All too soon, Venus started school, leaving you with less days you had to take her to work.
>But with Venus growing, so too did the food required, and your monthly expenses.
>The few raises at work you earned helped, but things remained tight, even with Celestia's aid.
>She offered to give more, but she's doing more than enough already, which you thank her for often.

>Eventually, it hit the point where you needed a second job, though only for part time.
>It wasn't long before Celestia had her schedule shifted so she could foalsit Venus on the days you worked twice.
>Everything went well, few things changing, until one summer, as Venus just turned nine.
>It was time for the Summer Sun Celebration, to be held in a small town called Ponyville.

And done. Now I'll be able to get Luna in here.
>>One day, you get a real kicker as you're called in to work to not only handle a shift, but also to babysit Hondo's daughter, Rarity.
The hype is real.
>since it means you don't have to buy things like clothes
Well, I mean, you wouldn't really need to. I don't think anyone would care.
>>It was time for the Summer Sun Celebration, to be held in a small town called Ponyville.

>NMM shows up
>spots Venus in the crowd and takes an immediate interest
>tries to kidnap her back to the old castle
>gets decked in the face by an enraged dad
well, if she had chest boobs, many folk would find it offensive that she's waving her teats around in public.
Yes, tying things together.
Perhaps. I haven't entirely decided how things are going to go for this.
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>many folk would find it offensive that she's waving her teats around in public
ya wot
the hype train is rolling along.
nice use of rarity and her family in that.
>Now I'll be able to get Luna in here.
That's what he said.
BadGrammarFag, why no symbiote green?
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So much to read already.
today is truly a blessed day the greens flow with great force
>And then Venus decides that NMM would be nice for her dad. She seems fun and apparently Bitch Egg Donor really doesn't like her.
>Royal Dinner celebrating sister's return
>Auntie Celly, Egg Donor, Venus, Anon, and Nightmare Mom
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>Nightmare Mom
>The literal embodiment of evil and darkness is a better mom than Cadence.
>Cadence's face when
Nightmare Moon just wants to rule with an iron fist, anon.

She did nothing wrong.
>"But she tried to take over Equestria and bring about eternal night!"
>"Yeah, but you tried to kill me."
>"Pass the potatoes, would you?"
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Bantz level: Stone fucking cold.
1. Venus isn't old enough to be that interested in "mom".
2. Egg Donor isn't at the summer sun Celebration(Probably off fucking Shining and his friends.)
3. Nightmare Mom sounds interesting, but Luna won the poll.
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>but Luna won the poll
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>Probably off fucking Shining and his friends
for some reason now i'm sad
Damn, this Venus sounds awesome.
Too bad Celestia has been designated as aunt. Although, even if it did work, it would probably be awkward for everyone.

Does Anon become Rarity's honorary uncle? I want to see a cute moment between them when they meet at Ponyville.
This would make me smile. Also, seeing Anon in clothes all the time made Rarity as interested in fashion as she is.
Ok, grinning like a retard at the cute story so far. Oh Daring Douche, how I've missed you.
I died when Taco reappeared. The cutest little brain damaged changeling.
ugh christ it came back
ya wot
disgusting shit story needs to stay dead
Same fag detected.
at least it was all posted at once
much easier to ignore it
just like you shitposter
thanks 4 the b8 m8
That's a kissable face.
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Anon, please.
Heck yes, Daring Douche lives!
This picture brings up an interesting point. Luna right after the Element blasting reverts to a younger body (though still adult size). Later, she returns to being near Celestia sized.
Do people feel like this change is important or anything?
do it
do the thing
the thing with young looking luna
>Do people feel like this change is important or anything?
I'm ambivalent, but if it was done right I suppose it'd be okay.

All things being equal, I'd rather adult relationship take place with adult horse.
Writefags all post good green in the same thread? The prophecy was true!
>Do people feel like this change is important or anything?
Maybe have her start with the'younger' body, and as she regains her power, gets bigger.
Speaking of, let's debate teats.

Teats 101: Not Just for Twisting
I figure they're for bragging rights, just as long as they aren't freakishly huge. It shows that you're genetically superior and are an overall good mate for a stallion. Socially, they're treated somewhere between a man's crotch bulge and his pectorals.
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Could lead to cute moments. Starts with anon big spooning Luna, ends with Luna big spooning anon.
Does someone really have that much of a vendetta against LaP? You've been saying this for the last few threads. You can just not read it.
Yes, please. Make it sew
naw it's just moonfags still salty about the (admittedly) shitty herds
behold the wild shitposter
while persistent, he unfortunately cannot shitpost very well
it is unlikely that he will survive the night
>"Mr. Mous?"
>You finish wiping down the bar, and look to see lil' Rarity sitting on the counter next to you.
>D'aww, how'd she get up here?
>Wait, did Venus open the latch again?
>Meh, deal with that later.
>You reach over and scratch the filly behind the ear. "Need something Rarity? Everything okay?"
>She takes your jacket sleeve into her magic, and pulls on it a little bit.
>"How come your fur changes color?" She asks. "It's all loose and stuff."
>"Be polite sweetie..." her dad chimes in.
>Smiling, you wave your hand dismissively. "I don't mind, she's just curious is all."
>Leaning in, you whisper into her ear in the most conspiring manner possible, "Wanna see me change colors?"
>Rarity goes wide eyed, and starts bouncing excitedly on her little hoovsies.
>You haven't seen her this excited since you explained that adults can eat all the peanut butter they want.
>Slowly and deliberately you unzip and remove your jacket, the little filly staring at you in wide eyed amazement.
>You explain to her what clothing is, and she seems enraptured the entire time.
>"I wanna try, I wanna try!" she says excitedly, her dad stifling a laugh as he watches.

>You never did get that jacket back.
why the fuck are you people linking me

all i did was ask what the fuck he was talking about
That's adorable, maybe Anon decided to carry Rarity around in the jacket like a strange growth that he found on him one day.

Also i need a new prompt to write About Anons! Something something thread related...

That or else less headache inducing nights, can't really focus that much for some reason.
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yea right shitposter
I bet you think all muslims are terrorists too
I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!
god damn anon, I love that movie
now I want an rgre godmother green
preferably without shit herds
I hope Isis rapes you in your sleep.
seriously how the hell do you not know about this movie, about this quote?!
damn anon
that's just sad
>Years later during those shenanigans with the Egg Donator, you stopped by Carousel Boutique too see how Rarity's business was doing.
>You felt so proud as she showed you around the showroom, and told you of all the clients she had.
>She seemed really proud to be telling you about it too.
>You go upstairs to use her bathroom, and as you're leaving her master bathroom something catches your eye.
>It's peeking out, just beneath her bed's comforter.
>Pulling back the covering reveals a faded, somewhat ratty, but lovingly stitched and maintained jacket.
This is true.

But she is still big for a pone.
Here's a prompt from last thread

Twilight finds an entry on humans in an old monster manual. Chaotic Evil demons from an alternate dimension with patriarchal society that ensnare unwitting mares and makes them into their slaves. Highly magically resistant and masters of subtly these monster don't reveal their true intentions until its too late.

>Anon shows up
>Twilight freaks out when Anon tells her what his home was like
>Tries to warn everyone
>They all think she's being a huge nerd/crazy
>Anon accidentally does things the book says humans do only when Twilight is looking
>Twilight starts to get worried cause Anon showing interest in her
Honestly? I've always wanted to see an RGRE story where Anon ends up in a world where My Little Human is a thing. Not only does he have to deal with little colts and fillies asking for hugs in the street and parents asking if he can make appearances at birthday parties, but he also has to deal with a horde of tuftbeards descending upon Ponyville seeking to woo their M'lord and generally getting marinara everywhere.
Anon opens an Neightalian restaurant and hires all the tuftbeards. He'd rather not put up with them at work too, but then he'd actually have to go and buy sauce. Plus, they don't want to get fired or sued for workplace harrasment.
The tuftier and knightier they are, the better their sauce is.
>>" Get that nohooves shit out of my face."
holy fuck
I wonder why Shimmy Shams doesn't get super-doghoused for using a fucking metal bat doe

>>Stopped by the morgue, picked up some beef
>>Celestia bless organ donors
shit mang
FUCK I raffed, so i rused. Douche/10

>Her magic started manifesting shortly after that, though it was mainly just short sputters of light from her horn.
>It does unfortunately mean that she's waking up more often, as magic occasionally discharges and the light wakes her.
That is the cutest fucking rewrite of a toddler's wakefart I've heard.
So Venus is actually not just an Alicorn, she is also accelerated as shit it's weird I'd say that.
>Nightmare Mom sounds interesting, but Luna won the poll.
she did, so what? just make her call Luna that it's like super duper
so much conflict inside poor lewna
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>>Taco rolls over and starts batting her hooves against his arm, hissing furiously
I thought of this so hard.
>Anon is friends with *insert princess here*
>They hang out so much that it's national gossip that they're horsemarried
>A female teenage dragon has just left her nest and had just moved into her own cave
>She hears the rumor from some ponies
>Figures that Anon must be a prince since they're married
>She goes out and kidnaps Anon to make a name for herself
>Dragons are solitary creatures, except for the migration, so she is pretty naive
>Anon takes advantage of this Rarity style
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Like there is a certain aesthetic of best titties that mares sometimes wish they had?

>>26218339 >>26218450
Gentle reminder that marinara is a fucking extreme sauce for pnoys as it is tomatoes, garlic and onions. Oh, my!
I bet if anyone spills marinara it's the more hardcorse horses

>Ponies are all adorable and cute to anon
>He really can't tell the subtle differences between betas, alphas, and haymane omegas
>Finds insecurity, stammering, and flustered girls cute like most men do here
>Then again confidence is always hot too
>Pursues mares that otherwise wouldn't have worked up the courage to look at him
>Herds with mares who really can't contribute much in terms of providing for him/the herd because he likes them and is more than willing to support them (cause cute horses)
>However still likes it when spunky mares come up to hit on him (its a real ego boost)
>Ponies are confused about Anon's seemily random taste in mares
>Anon has formed a weird mish-mash herd composed of mares from all over the social spectrum and now mares who normally wouldn't have ever met or interacted with each other have to live in the same house
>Worst still the 'Alpha' of the group is some push over hay mane
>Shenanigans ensue
>Anon just thinks the silly ponies are being silly
>They really are silly horses
>Worst still the 'Alpha' of the group is some push over hay mane

Fluttershy's mom must be so proud.
>Twilight, your current care-taker/legal guardian (fucking weird-ass pony laws), does this sort of nervous hoof-tapping dance.
"Yeah, Twi?"
>You swear you could hear a tiny "squee!" at your little nickname for her.
>"Look.... I'm not a creep or anything, and I swear I'm not a gross tuftbeard or anything..."
>She breaks off here and stops dancing, seemingly content to just look down at her hooves.
>"You don't have to say yes... but... could you maybe..."
>She's blushing super hard.
>"...give me a hug? Please?"
>How could you say no?
>Without a word, you scoop Twilight up and pull her into your lap.
>After a moment of shock, she melts into your embrace.
>She begins to quietly sing a tune that sounds vaguely-familiar to you, but you can't quite place it.
>"I used to wonder what friendship could be..."
Can't flim flam the shim sham
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>>26218013 >>26218041 >>26218155
>Alphiest of alphas challenges the hay-dispenser for the head position.
>she immediately concedes and alpha is alpha nao!
>Until Anon hears about this
"So you are challenging ponies for head position here I see. Now, who do you think you are challenging?"
>"Venusprancer, she was the head mare, and--"
"This is my herd, and I'm the one who calls the shots here. Who. Were. You. Challenging?"
>oh-oh whatr is this male doing?
Sounds like the perfect sitcom to air through the new Equestrian television system. System that was produced and patented by Anon and made him a very rich human.

No wonder he can sustain such a large herd.
That's what I'm thinking. Firmness, nipple size, how well the mare can make them dance via muscle control, etc.
>Mare wants to seduce anon
>Mare lifts up a hind leg and shows off her twitching crotch-tits
>Anon was just trying to buy groceries and now this mare is making him look at her twitching horse-boobs

Still no decent green where Anon eats things that are poisonous to ponies.
The horses wear clothes, you know.
>Still no decent green where Anon eats things that are poisonous to ponies.
Too minute a detail to establish a whole fic around it I'd say. As a minor detail? tons do it. I like that you liek it because i like it too and have some about it in my scrapbook
>Moondancer is the alpha mare
>Is often in situations that are decidedly not appropriate for a mare of her social abilities
>Cue laugh track
>>Cue laugh track

You should post it. Green doesn't need to revolve around Anon being super horsecore and eating all the poison, but it'd be cool if there were a few references.
>Anon makes dinner; mares are careful to look out for certain foods
>New mare in the story comes across Anon's garden; it becomes a plot element that the mare is afraid of Anon for a few chapters b/c he's growing poison
>Griffon contacts Anon b/c he's growing "poison" in his garden; this leads to Anon getting involved in the criminal underworld
It's a little kid. Besides, most ponies don't wear clothes unless its cold or for special occasions. Even still, it doesn't cover the entire body like humans do. It isn't too hard to imagine a three year old who has never worn clothes to ask what clothing is.
Well, I think I'm a little too late to ride along the greentext wave but I'll chalk my tardiness up to the deadness or something.

>You’re about one block away from the street.
>Remember what the mare told you, head held high and...
>You lift your right hoof and are momentarily blinded by the reflection of the sun into your eyes.
>Make sure every pony in the side street can see your watch.
>With a brisk walk you reach the side sooner than you thought.
>Okay Lyra, just look powerful and confident.
>Don’t let your pudgy barrel.
>Slightly pointed muzzle.
>Bland two tone mane…
>Your legs won’t stop trembling.
>This was a terrible idea, why did you think you could do thi-
>A hard shove pushes you two hoof steps up.
>”Hey, I’m walkin’ here!” a mare barks at you as she walks past, her lip curled into a sneer.
>You lower your head.
>This isn’t the place for y-
>Hey wait, you’ve got two hooves into the street!
>You look around, most others are just passing through, trying to go about their business.
>A-and you could be- look like one of them!
>You take in a deep breath, suck in your gut, and start walking down the side branch of the main street.
>Nothing about this part of town seems all that noteworthy.
>There seems to be a few more downtrodden here than some of the other parts f town, but things look about the same otherwise.
>You step off to the side, to avoid being shoved again, and casually glance at your watch.
>Yup, casually glancing here.
>GLANCING real casual like yup.
>Your eyes scan around a little but nopony, or griffon, minotaur, or even diamond dog seems to be looking your way.
>You put your hoof down and continue walking.
>Maybe that mare was just baiting you.
>”Trust me, you’ll get what you’re looking for and for way cheaper than if you went to a “lounge”.”
>Psh, yeah right.
She sure is. Confused too, but mostly proud
>You look around, the branching streets off of this one are much narrower, and the place is looking a little more worse for wear compared to just a short walk back towards the main street.
>You feel slightly uncomfortable, but most every pony that’s passing through doesn’t even seem fazed.
>You eye the street that continues deeper into the center of town, looking worse as it continues in.
>Should probably just cut your losses, you got swindled into buying a broken fake watch.
>You let out a sigh, turn around, and start walking back towards the main street.
>Maybe you can get someone in Ponyville to fix it, at least then you’d have a functional fake wa-
>Your ear flicks, and you instinctively turn towards the direction the sound came from.
>You don’t notice anything, same kind of ponies and such walking by, same kind of ponies and such leaning against the walls, talking amongst themselves.
>”Psst, you, with the minty mane.”
>That’s definitely you.
>And that was definitely a male voice.
>It’s only now that you see it.
>A cloaked figure leaned against the wall of a small branching street, the hood is facing towards you.
>A hand emerges from the cloak, a long slender finger extends out towards you and beckons you closer.
>Your breath catches in your throat.
>This is it.
>Just like the mare said!
>Keep cool Lyra, don’t blow it now.
>You stick out your chest and walk confidently towards the tall… mysterious… figure...
>Oh Lyra, you damned fool, now you’re going to get-
>The shadow lessens as you approach, with it’s face less covered by darkness you can see the firm lines of a masculine face under the hood.
>That puts you somewhat at ease.
>The figure kneels down to put you at almost the same height.
>You pick up on a hint of almonds as you draw nearer, there’s something else too, you can’t quite place it but it is very… interesting.
>”Hey cutie, I saw you walking by over there. You looked a little lost” the figure, you assume is a minotaur, states.
>Confident Lyra!
“N-nope! Not lost at all, j-just uh, getting a brisk walk in is all…”
>You facehoof internally.
>The hooded figure chuckles sweetly, “Is that so? I’m surprised you have the time to take a walk. You seem like an important mare, what with that flashy watch of yours.”
>Sweet Celestia he thinks it’s real!
>Thank you based street vending mare!
“W-well you know… I’m uh, so far above m-most others that I can uh, afford to take walks whenever I want!”
>You stumbled hard at first, but it seems like you’re applying that musician’s improv now.
>The minos hums, with as close as you are you can see him bite his lip at you.
>He’s biting his lip at you!
>He’s interested in you!
>… Well, this "super important you” anyway.
>”So… then, a mare like you would scoff at something like… that watch?”
>You look down to the shiny piece of junk on your wrist.
>”Well I uh, dunno, it’s a pretty nice watch.”
>The minotaur draws his hand closer to you.
>You find yourself holding your breath in anticipation.
>HIs fingers slide into your mane sending jolts of electricity down your spine.
>And then he curls his thumb and pinches your ear gently.
>It takes all of you not to start winking right then and there.
>”I can be pretty nice to you too cutie… what say we go around the corner here and work out a little trade hmm?” he coos.
>You nod because you’re too turned on to even think.
>This is happening!
>This is really happening!
>The minotaur rises and places his hand just behind your head.
>You’re like inches away from his crotch!
>And he smells so good, almonds and that other really good smell.
>He takes you around the corner to a small back alley, most of the noise of the street just a few steps away dulls to an ignorable level.
>"Moondancer, why is there a brand-new flat-screen television in our living room? I thought you said that you were going out to buy Anon something for his birthday."
>>"Colts like giant TVs, right?"
>Moondance shrugs and grins nervously,and then holds her pose for about twenty seconds so that the audience laughter can run its course
>The minotaur chuckles, “Oh cutie I’m so glad you want to do this, I could barely keep myself away from you back there” he coos.
>He trails a finger down your cheek, which then becomes all his fingers dragging around your neck and trailing over your shoulder and-
>Oh gosh, further back…
>”Mmm, and it seems like you were feeling the same way huh cutie?”
>Just as he’s saying you notice the moisture running down the inside of your thigh.
>The quivering of your lips.
>Your clit is wining rapidly already.
>You slap your tail down hard against your rear.
>”Oh don’t be like that cutie, I told you already I’m very nice…” his hands plant themselves on your flanks.
>You tense up under his touch, either that or you’re going to soup already.
>You hear gravel crunch from behind you, the minotaur’s hands grab you firmly for a moment at different intervals before relaxing once again.
>You want to look back and see what’s happening, but if you do you;re going to lose it for sure.
>”Now…”His hands slide back, fingers grazing along your flanks, “such a powerful mare like you, I bet you’ve got just the tightest little cunt…”
>One of his hands grips the base of your tail, his thumb is pressing right into your dock sending small tremors up your body.
>He begins to raise your tail…
“W-wait… s-stop!” you command.
>The mino releases you and immediately jumps back, “Aww damn, you’re one of the police aren’t you!?” he growls at you.
>He turns around quickly, “Should’ve known bett-“
“Wait! Please! I’m not the ponice!” you shout, giving him pause.
>He turns to face you, while continuing to backstep away.
“I’m sorry, I was just…”
>About to squirt like a no-pump chump?
“Uh… I was just hoping I might get a kiss… before we got started?” you squeak out.
>The hooded minotaur looks offset by your request.
>His shoulders quiver and a deep chuckle escapes his lips, “A kiss? You… want to kiss me?” his voice is the of genuine surprise.
>You nod.
>He shrugs, “O-okay…” he responds.
>The minotaur walks around to stand face to, well crotch, with you.
>He squats down and places a hand on your shoulder.
>You rear up and place a hoof on his chest.
>He takes your other hoof with his free hand and holds it gently in his grasp.
>Your breathing will not slow.
>The minotaur cracks a toothy grin, it’s strange but you think you can see a canine.
>He brings his head closer and you lean in to meet him.
>The minos lip’s meet yours.
>HIs breath comes out in hot waves that wash over your face.
>HIs lips taste sweet, and have the most interesting mix of softness and firmness to them.
>Your hoof is getting so sweaty in his grasp but he doesn’t seem to mind, even goes as far as to give it a squeeze.
>He breaks the kiss with a quiet *smack* sound.
>It takes you a moment to register that’ it’s over, the only reason you notice is because of the sudden loss of warmth.
>You blink a few times to break yourself of the spell the kiss put you under.
>When your brain is just about caught up, you realize that you’ve been staring into the minotaurs face for a bit.
>HIs features are still somewhat shrouded but the hood but you can see that he’s different looking than all other minotaurs that you’ve seen, almost like he’s a kind of hybrid.
>Minotaur and… dragon maybe?
>He’s mostly furless from what you can see, but… it looks really fitting on him.
>The most notable feature about him, to you, is his eyes, they look… so sad.
>Like there was a fire that burned in them once before, but it’s just cold ashes now.
>Your heart kicks as he once again rises, breaking your gaze.
>You find your breathing is still very heavy.
>The young mino chuckles, ”That was really fun” he chirps, circling around you again.
>Your pussy is soaked and desperate to be filled.
Stuff happens, Anon sees little Luna.
"Oh, she's Celestia's sister? Now maybe Cenus can have an alicorn friend around her age. That might help her a bit."
They play once or twice, Luna obviously getting bigger.
Sometime later they go to hang out, boom, big Luna with Auntie 'Lestia this time.
>Your heart is pounding at you to reignite the fire in his eyes... somehow...
>The two desires are tearing you apart.
>HIs hand grazes along your back, you can just barely feel it as he traces over your saddlebags, but they return to your lower back soon enough.
>”But I want to see what other kind of fun we can have together.”
>His waist bumps against your nether and you jump forwards slightly.
>The minos back up again, “You know, if you just want to give me the watch for some more kisses I’m more than happy to oblige cutie” he says with a slight growl in his voice.
>You shake your head.
>Maybe there’s a way you can appease both parts to you.
“No, it’s not that. I uh, w-want to… suck you off a little” you mumble the last bit.
>”You want to suck my dick?” he asks, unashamedly.
>Your head lowers out of embarrassment.
>The thinking now is that if you can at least make him feel good, then at least what you’re doing isn’t so bad…
>You nod your head, probably less noticeably than you think.
>The minotaur places his hand on your shoulder as he walks back to your front, chuckling to himself.
>You sense a warmth on your cheek, a light pressure guides your face up.
>His hand is cupping your cheek, gently rubbing your face, and meeting your eyes with his own.
>He gives you a wry smile, “You should be careful cutie. Wanting kisses, and to warm me up… Not only are you rich, but a romantic too? Ha! I may walk away with your fancy watch, but you might walk away with my little whore heart.”
>Your heart skips a beat.
>He could love you?
>Some guy could love you?!
>He slips his thumbs into the the waistband of his bottoms and slowly pulls them down.
>That strange scent is getting stronger.
>It’s heady and rich, you can stop yourself from breathing in as much of it as you can.
>His member is now fully exposed and dangling just in front of your face, completely out of the sheath and everything already.
>He’s like this just from kissing you...
>You stare at his taurhood for a moment.
>It’s different from any stallions you’ve seen in magazines, but not really by much.
>All the same kind of parts of it are there, except the ring… maybe? Or his is just really small.
>You inch your muzzle closer, breathing his alluring musk in.
>You can feel an intense heat radiating from his member.
>Tongue fully extended, you draw him into you and put a firm seal on his cock.
>He places a hand on the back of your head, a soft growl rumbles in his throat.
>You trace your tongue around his very round flare, the books you read about this kind of stuff said guys love that.
>Your tail flicks as you head him moan softly.
>The other thing the book told you was…
>You relax your throat and open your jaw wider as you step closer to him.
>You use the back of your tongue to rub the underside of his flare as you bob back and forth along the middle of his shaft, his fingers curl, getting a handful of your mane in the process.
>You inhale his arousal deeply through your nostrils and take him in further.
>His warmth is hitting far back into your throat.
>You can feel him tremble, the small patch of fur on his crotch is tickling your nose with his little movements.
>With the tip of your tongue you can just barely graze along his sack, it reacts to your light prodding.
>Your clit is winking furiously now, your body is desperate to take him into your other side.
>”Mmn, th-that feels so good…” he whispers.
>He’s relaxed his grip on your mane and is gently stroking it back instead.
>You want to enjoy this feeling for as lon-
>A pressure is building in your jaw.
>The fullness in your throat is getting… fuller?
>You begin to panic and slowly draw yourself back from him.
>You part from him with an unexpected *pop*.
>You close your eyes and and try to steady your breathing somewhat, now that your mouth is free to move you can feel the anxiety lessen.
>When you open your eyes you are greeted by a sight you don’t really know how to comprehend.
>HIs cock is really swollen now!
>Like almost twice what it was before, the dangle it had before is now a firm rod a-
>Oh sweet Celestia it just throbbed!
>The young mino’s breathing is heavy, thought it’s somewhat obscured, you can see a redness in his cheeks.
>”Wow… cutie, I’ve never… I guess we’re both ready huh?” he asks, member throbbing before you.
>This has to be like a dragon thing right?
>Whatever it is, it’s so fucking hot.
>He once again walks around behind you.
>HIs hands are planted firmly on your rear and he bears down on you as he lowers himself to his knees.
>Your tail is raised up so high it almost hurts.
>”Oh my… you are definitely ready, I’m honestly really flattered. Most ladies don’t think much of me… certainly not enough to want what you wanted out of me” he muses.
>You can feel the warmth of his belly against your tailhole, he releases you with one hand.
>The wait seems like an eternity, but then that comes to a sudden end when you feel a pressure on your loins.
>HIs hot thickness rubs up against your burning lips.
>His finger is brushing against the top of your cunt, each time you wink your clit pushes against his knuckle sending a shock up your body.
>The mino’s head finally lines up with your entrance.
>HIs flare stretches your virgin hole little by little, both his arousal and yours make the push completely frictionless, until finally he pierces into you.
>That’s it, you’ve finally done it, lost your virginity.
>Your lips compress around the tip of his shaft, inner walls firmly stroking his flare.
>”Oh wow cutie, you really are tight…”
>You buck back, drawing him in deeper all while your walls entice him to enter further on his own.
>He succumbs to your pussy’s desire, bringing his hands up and gripping the sides of your barrel, he buries himself deeper and deeper into your slick walls.
>Oh Celestia this feels amazing!
>Feeling his warmth stretching you apart, having small jolts of electricity course through you each time your clit winks against his sack.
>No wonder all your friends made fun of you for being a virgin, to think that you were missing out o-
>”Mmn, you feel so good cutie” he says between small gasps and moans.
>You're doing your best not to make too much sound.
>Losing the sense of fullness he gives you only to have it forcefully return and then taken away again is throwing your brain completely out of whack.
>With each thrust you can feel your mind numbing.
>All you can focus on now is the experience.
>The sound of his reserved moans coupled with the muffled slapping of his body against yours.
>The heat emanating form your joining.
>The thick smell of your mixed arousals.
>How close you feel to this minotaur right now… It’s all so much that you…
>Everything goes white for a moment and you clench your eyes tightly shut.
>You don’t know how much time has passed since you blanked out but as your brain starts catching up you start noticing a few things.
>Your breathing is heavy but not rushed anymore.
>Also, you’re face down in the dirt right now.
>Any attempt to get up right now is met with wobbly legs that couldn’t support a feather.
>”Whew, that was great cutie” your eyes shift to spot the minotaur slipping his hard taurhood back into his bottoms.
>He walks closer to you, and kneels down.
>”I’m glad you enjoyed yourself too” he coos, resting his hand on your cheek.
>You try to tell him you did, that you want him to enjoy himself completely too but all you can muster is a babble.
>He chuckles and wipes the sweat from your brow.
>The mino walks around you and kneels down on your other side.
>You can feel him lift your hoof with both of his hands followed by a clicking sound, “Now then, a nice thing for a nice thing. Just like we agreed on right cutie?”
>You try to respond, to tell him it’s a fake, but your brain can’t form the words.
>He rises again and enters your field of view again as he’s walking further into the back alley, pocketing the watch as he does so.
>You muster up everything you’ve got left in you and shakily manage to push your upper body off the ground.
“W-wait…” you mumble.
>He continues walking.
“W-wait!” you command, just below your usual speaking volume.
>He hears you that time and turns around, “No can do cutie, we had a deal didn’t we?” he asks, while walking backwards.
>Your tremble as your legs demand to be relieved but you keep yourself propped up.
“The watch is fake!”
>His body twitches.
>Your vision begins to blur, and you need to blink the tears away or else fall face first into the ground if you tried to wipe it.
“I’m so sorry! I was just looking for… I just wanted to find some relief. What I found was you instead! Someone who gave me more than just that, you gave me attention like no guy ever has before! Looked at me and talked to me like no guy ever has before...”
>He’s stopped waking backwards, now planted firmly before you, waiting for you to continue.
“I’m just a dumpy musician and you… you’re the most handsome thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on!”
>You can see his bottom lip quiver before your vision becomes blurry again and now no amount of blinking will get rid of the tears.
“You don’t have to keep doing this! I-I make enough playing in the Ponyville orchestra, it may not be great but It would be a better life, together!”
>The tall blur turns and begins moving away from you, “I-I… I can’t.” he whimpers before taking off down the alley.
>You call out to him, begging him to come back.
>You try chasing after him but can barely get one step before falling to the ground on wobbly legs.
>You slip out onto the main street and walk along with the others shuffling along, going about their way.
>You take the watch out of your pocket, it blinds you for a moment until you turn it away from the sun.
>In it you can see your own sad reflection.
>A fake…
>No shit it’s a fake.
>You reach into the pocket of your cloak and pull out the bitbag you swiped while you were fucking that mare.
>Wonder if she’d still want to give you a “better life” if she knew what you’d done.
>You frown at the two items in your hand and slip them back into your pockets, just looking at them is making you feel sick.
>You continue through the main street, trying to ignore the occasional stare or look of double take that is aimed at you.
>When they start getting very frequent you pull the hood of your cloak out more to better hide your face.
>Before too long you reach a dinky two layered shop, with the top half claiming it’s under renovations and the bottom half having an “Open” sign in the window.
>You walk in, the shopkeeper gives you the fakes of smiles until she realizes it’s you and drops the facade.
>You step up to the counter and place the watch on it, you then open up the mare’s bitbag and empty all the coins onto the counter.
>She watches as you split the bits half and half and slide both one half and the watch over to her.
>The shopkeep’s eyes narrow just slightly.
>You slide a few more bits her way.
>The firm line of her lips curl into a smile, “Don’t be like that Anonymous, you know you’re payin’ for my keen screenings. Just try goin’ out there and doing this on your own, I’m sure you’ve heard about some of the other guys that tried it huh?”
“Yeah yeah…” you mumble, sliding the remaining bits back into the bitbag.
>You continue past the shopkeeper into the back of the building, ”-so mopey, I don’t get it, boy’s been on a streak lately. Probably has more bits than he knows what to do with-“ she mumbles as you close the door behind you.
>The small back area is walled up higher than you with the only thing here other than the door back inside is a ladder.
>You ascend up into the “under renovations” building and step inside.
>Some of the other guys greet you as you walk in, and you return them in kind.
>You pass by several “rooms” all separated out with ratty curtains, until you reach yours.
>Before you enter you take a peek into the room opposite.
>Inside a young stallion is resting, his breathing is labored and a small cough escapes him now and again.
>You see that the bottle of medicine next to him is almost empty.
>You make a quick mental count in your head…
>Even with the money you have stashed away in your room, you’ll need to either skip eating or get a good Jane tomorrow, but you should be able to afford getting him more medicine.
>With a sigh, you let the curtain fall back and leave the new kid to continue resting.
>The more knowledgeable guys took care of you when you found yourself here after aging out of the minotaur orphanage, you’re paying the favor forward.
>You let the curtain to your room fall behind you.
>Inside is a simple little space, you have a bed that just barely fits you if you curl up in it.
>A small table made out of spare wood and cardboard boxes that has little trinkets and toys you picked up while out on the streets over the years.
>You drop onto your little bed and stare up at the ceiling.
>You feel an uncomfortable bulge under you, fishing into your pockets you pull the bitbag that belonged to the mare.
>Everything about her comes rushing back to your mind.
>Nobody ever wanted to kiss you, everyone else was happy if you kept your hood up and fucked them from behind.
Starting off? Where have you been lurking Anon?
>She was different, she not only kissed you, she looked at you, really looked at you.
>You can feel your body tingle as you remember her golden eyes.
>She looked at you like no-one ever has before.
>Your slowly travels down your chest, lower still past your furless stomach.
>She called you handsome, the most handsome thing she’d ever seen…
>Your breath catches in your throat, and you stifle a small moan.
>She wanted to be with you…
>You let out a small gasp.
>She THINKS she wants to be with you, if she knew what you’d done, to her, to others.
>You hold the bitbag up to your nose, her scent is still all over it, and close your eyes.
>You recall her voice, begging for you to go with her…
>Your body tenses up and you bit your lip to stifle your moan.
>The pressure inside you empties, you look at your soiled hand.
>There is no better life for someone like you.
>After cleaning yourself off, you throw your raggedy blanket over yourself and bring your knees up
to your chest.
>Your eyelids feel heavy, and so you let them fall.

Okay, done with this short.

Probably yes

Probably no, I got serious writer's block at a very pivotal part in the Caramel story and just couldn't moved past it, I burned out hard on that, sorry. Probably yes, I'm looking at my notes for JaGoG and seeing what loose strings I was going to be tying up before I put it on hiatus.
>The 'alpha' mare Fluttershy is constantly usurped everyday by another herd mate surrendering immediately
>Due to weird pony laws that haven't been updated Stallions always get the final say in who the alpha mare of the herd is its just that they always choose the better one anyway cause it looks good to have a strong mare so challenges and usurping in practice always go to the fluffiest, strongest, confident mare
>Anon really doesn't understand this and thinks it just what mare he likes more
>Anon's standards seem to be based off 'cutest horse'
>He consistently reinstates Flutterbutter as alpha upon coming home from work casually
>This causes no end of horse confusion
>Flustered Fluttershy is flustered

You're writing is solid, but I can't into dark Equestria. Sorry m8 I can't say I enjoyed this.
>After carefully appraising and evaluating his new circumstances, Anon proceeded to spend the next week locked in his house, playing with his boobs and giggling like a madman.
Thought it was good, keep it up!
Its hard to sympathize with someone who's entire character, backstory, and role are just sort of laid out with no build up or exploration of why and how. However that sex scene was cash.

6/10. It was good, but nowhere near your best
You can't just bring on the feels and end it there. Maybe whip up some sort of half-assed happy epilogue or something. Show me there's still happiness in the world.
>I’m sure you’ve heard about some of the other guys that tried it huh?”

What are they going to do aggressively cuddle your leg?
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>>Mare lifts up a hind leg and shows off her twitching crotch-tits
>>Anon was just trying to buy groceries and now this mare is making him look at her twitching horse-boobs

darquestria is bestquestria
What is he saving for? Is he going to emigrate and be absolutely overwhelmed by the change?

>You're writing is solid, but I can't into dark Equestria.
It's just dim-lit.
Literally this, but mares instead of hot guys. And anon instead of a nigger.
It kind of loses it's effect if they can't look intensely at you while they flex their teas.
Its the other way around! Its twitching dick! The mare made the mane look at his twicthing dick.
Pretty dark short.
>flex their teas
Rarity is showing off her teas again.

This DOES sound like the perfect sitcom. The question is who should be part of this wacky herd?
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She does her best.
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>fluttershy parents
I wonder if Fluttershy was a little handful when she was young.
>pass the potatoes
>potatoes are poison to horses
looks like somepony is still trying to kill.
I liked it, dark enough to be realistic and not edgy.

There should be more stories like these.
Well Moonie is Luna anyway.
>Anon get involved in the criminal underworld because it's easier to get ingredients that way.
>No paperwork when you're buying poisons from a mob hitman
>Anon accidentally gets involved in the criminal underworld
>Turns out that griffon wasn't making potato and onion soup
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What's gone on with the googledrive?
Looks like it's in all can edit mode.
underrated kek


What about the Googledri-


I swear I can't leave you faggots alone for five weeks. The last untouched version has been restored.
Good job, I can barely wait for more.
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So... I need a bit of a hand. I'm in a bit of trouble with getting the character to sound right on paper...

Which 'voice' do you think works best for Fleur? Links appreciated, or an explanation is also cool too.
Prench accent. Thick as Tartarus.
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10/10 story!

Oh look, another 10/10 story!

A-and one more 10/10 story!

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The 'Fleur de Lis' is an iconic symbol, typical of french heraldry.

It was used by Joan of Arc and it traces all the way back to Charlemagne the Great, the unificator of Western Europe and it's first recognized emperor since the fall of the Western Roman Empire three centuries earlier.
Back from the dead with a vengeance. This story needs to stay alive this time around.
Holy fuck, I need to read those comics. I didn't know that
That's just a fanmade imitation.
enforcer/hitman anon when?
Best background horse.

10/10, would waifu
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If you're into long legs.
Cajun. Because that symbol is common as mosquitoes in Cajun country.
I liked how you did Lyra's perspective with the horsewords.

I like this premise.
>Pony schemes, plots, and fights to be the alpha
>Finally wins leadership
>Anon casually undoes it all
>Grumpy pony scrunch

>Twitching crotchtits
Sounds fun, would read.

Maybe later.
>Anon is a chef
>Ponies refuse much of his cooking
>Anon figures they just really love hay
>Fucking pleb horses, get some taste.
>Approached by shady looking pony.
>Hired to make a "special" dish for the pony mob
>Makes it, nothing out of the ordinary except the customer.
>Delivers to mafia pon party
>Pony poisonings proceed as planned
>Ponice investigate, Anon is not a suspect as he was seen eating some of the leftovers after the event

Totally in character, we need more of this.

Was okay.


Bathe those horses!
Family pet and most accidentally effective guard-uh... changeling.

Thanks, girls

100% Accurate representation of vicious sock fight

Great work, as always

Hah. Males driving cars - I can only suspend my disbelief so much during movies, yanno?

Dubs decrees it. I'm going to start writing during my work-from-home days, so...
>Males driving cars

Well, to be fair, a lot of those cars do explode.
Just in like my Hollywood movies.
Do the males explode too?
I need my fix of bomb-stallions
How dare you! That's violence against stallions! What are you, some kind of misandrist?
Explosions are fun.
Stallions are fun.
Why not combine the two?
Exploding stallions are a BLAST
Do you have your grape whistle?
>Do the males explode too?
Now I want to read a paper by pony academia, written with an RGRE-bias, explaining ISIS and suicide bombings.
>"Saddle Arabian refugees will ruin Equestria! They are too attractive, and will become the alpha mares of any herd they infiltrate."
I really hope you write some more green with the Princesses some day.

You write Celestia very well.
>Not calling them "sand-niggers"
It's like you don't even watch the show.
Just don't turn into /pol/.
>Anon, as a predator species, has better night-vision than ponies do
>A bit exaggerated compared to IRL horse night vision, but work with me here.
>Night time isn't actually all that dark b/c it doesn't NEED to be all that dark for ponies to experience damn-near pitch-blackness
>Anon takes advantage of this by snuggling unsuspecting ponies
>Serial snuggler on the loose (jane the cuddler, the ponice call him), assumed to be female b/c RGRE
>Ponies are worried about Anon's safety and try to follow him when the sun sets
>They're shocked to find out that HE is the cuddler
Her portrayal in the NMM wins universe, hell that whole universe in general, was golden. 10/10, would immigrate and serve NMM.
A few more incidents like Koln and the coverup thereof and everyone will be /pol/.
>A bit exaggerated compared to IRL horse night vision, but work with me here.
Not sure if you mean exaggerating a poor sense, or ignoring that their low light vision is better. But fun either way.

At least we've got higher clarity, longer visual range, better color pallet, ability to adjust visual range without adjusting our heads, and better perception of unmoving objects. They've only got marginally better low-light vision and almost-360 fov.

Serial hapist Anon is my fetish either way, though.
>They can see us sneaking up on them during the day, but at least Anon can actually see Sweet Apple Acres on the horizon
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I read that as impregnate and not immigrate at first.
Well, full disclosure, I would be immigrating to NMMquestria with the hopes of impregnating NMM.

Thank you, psychic anon, for the image and the momentary pleasant daydream.
>Nightmare Mom is best mom
>The sun breaks through the curtains as you wake up, arms wrapped around two fluffy objects
>Looking down you realize it's not what was expected as you're hugging two large pillows
>Twilight and Moon must have not wanted to disturb your sleeping
>A smell wafts from outside the bedroom, daw the girls must have decided to cook you some breakfast
>It's only when you put your shirt back on and walk into the kitchen do you see it
>An agitated Moondancer with her head on the table, plates of assorted burnt food littering every counter
>Upon hearing you enter the room she immediately sits back up her face looking upset
>"A-Anon, you're awake. I wanted to make you something to eat but I've never really cooked for anyone so all I managed to make was toast."
>She looks on the verge of tears now
"Moony I'm sure whatever you made is fine, nobody needs a 5 star meal when they wake up."
>You sit down and look at the toast
>It's burnt
>Not wanting to hurt Moon's feelings you quickly eat the near charcoal
>As you finish it you notice her face light up
>"I'm glad you liked it Anon, that toast was made special."
>The way she said that sends up warning flags
>"Yeah it's like a part of me and my love went into making it."
>If what she said before was warning flags, this was an air raid siren
"You and your love went into making this?"
>Your face distorts as you consider the possible implications of what you could've just eaten
>Is this how ponies show love, is it rape? It'd be a lie to say you haven't considered fucking a pony b-
>"Made it with fire magic personally, just for you."
>Oh right, magic
>This is a world of multicolor horses Anon, ponies probably aren't crazy enough to even consider things like that
"Thanks Moony, I appreciate it."
>Her face once again becomes a beacon of happiness
>They probably do nice things for the sake of being nice rather than any attempt at seduction
>"Thanks Moony, I appreciate it."
>Thank Celestia you bucking saved it
>For a moment there you thought for sure he'd assume you did unmentionable things to his toast
>You didn't of course but you're not exactly the best with words, or talking to stallions
>Honestly Moondancer you really need to stop spilling spaghetti like that next to colts
>The last thing you need is Twilight coming back after you spent all morning convincing her you can be trusted to protect Anon
>Anon chimes in as if read your mind "Hey, where is Sparkle anyway?"
"Well she woke up when I started cooking and came in, we had a small chat and set everything straight."
>You see Anon breathe a sigh of relief
"She agreed that I can help you around here until she finishes the spell."
>You glance over to the pieces of broken furnature sweeped under the table, Anon didn't need to know every little detail
>After you both had got everything out in the open you had to do the one thing Twilight couldn't say no to
>The ancient laws of the Sis Code
>In the event of an interdimensional stallion being brought to Equestria the summoner gets first dibs on attempting to romance them
>She wasn't entirely sure who wrote the code or why, but Twilight would never question the laws
>Even incredibly specific ones shoddily written in crayon
>It's not like she'd find out before Anon leaves anyway
>Anon snaps you out of your thoughts
>"Since we're sticking together until that spell finishes, which still a while left. What do ponies do for fun?"
>This is your chance, a whole week to impress Anon and he's going to let you show him whatever you want
"Oh Anon. I thought you'd never ask."
>Don't fuck this up Moondancer
>Moony agreed to show you the wonders of pony culture
>Honestly you shouldn't have been surprised when she brought you to a library
>You didn't have the heart to tell her this wasn't what you meant when she started going through all her favorites
>"Personally I'm more of a Felt Chapter fan, ponies seem to prefer A.K. Yearling but all her books are 30% story and 70% power fantasies for wannabe alphas."
>You can see a vague look of contempt in her eyes, this little horse really gets worked up over books
"While we're here we might as well pick up a few books on pony culture, it has been a few days and still know next to nothing."
>Moondancer walks through the aisles picking up book after book
>"We need this one, and everypony should read this masterpiece."
>By the time she finishes the entire store looks like it has been picked clean
>The mare at the counter looks up from her magazine for a second and spots Moon with her horde of books
>"That time again?"
>Moondancer awkwardly splutters out "N-No." as you both head out the door back towards her place
"What was that about?"
>She looks away for a split second "Sometimes a mare needs to find solace in a few good books."
>The rest of the trip is silent after that, although her house isn't far so you find yourself sitting on her couch in no time
>As you both get into a relaxed position you pick out a book from the pile Moon brought with her
>You flip through a few pages before you realize
"Hey Moony what language is this, I can't understand any of it."
>She looks at you confused
>"It's just Hoofand, what Earth and Pegasi use. Can you only read Unicorn books?"
"Moon I don't think I can read any of this, just looks like runes to me."
>She looks at you and then the books, obviously deep in thought
>Her eyes go wide and smile grows
>"Well if you can't read them, I'll just have to read them to you Nonny."
Yeah I think that ash toast will keep him fed for a long time.
I have a feeling next thread is gonna be slow.
Mainly because this thread is already a solid like, 30% greentext.
Slow threads aren't RGR enough.
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Masked Mares in RGRE?
Doesn't matter, Frosty has returned to us.
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Doing what?
Flying faster than a stationary bullet.
Lifting heavy boxes.
Giving stallions the D.
The usual superhero stuff.

Riding motorcycles, kicking evil in the face, and rescuing handsome stallions.

Too bad Anon wants to join their club.
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>Giving stallions the D.
"No colts allowed."
Human part of her heritage means she can regularly eat things normally poisonous to ponies.

She enjoys horrifying other ponies by eating garlic, onion, potatoes, tomatoes, etcetera.
That just means they can't have more than one.
"You mean you can't see it?"
>Rarity looks at you, an eyebrow quirked.
>"Darling, it's night-time: all I see is darkness and vague blurs."
>You look again: nope, you still see trees, a cluster of buildings, and the Apples' homestead on the hill, lightly-covered in pale moonlight.
"Come on, Rares: you can't see Sweet Apple Acres from here?"
>She shakes her head, and you both fall into a comfortable silence.
>"Perhaps you've inherited Uncle Anon's eyesight rather than your..."
>She trails off: your birth-mother, or rather that "egg-donating bitch" as you liked to call her, is a bit of a touchy subject.
"Oh yeah, chalk one up to the human master race!"
>She facehooves.
>"Sometimes, I worry about you."
>"Hey, who's the one who can eat tomatoes here?"
>Your BFF snorts.
>"Meh. C'mon, Dad's making us dinner."

"Oh COME ON! I have a motorcycle, a cool costume, and I can kick evil in the face!"
>MFL forgot to remove the > before the last two lines of dialogue.

>Rarity is BFFs with Venus

So does that mean they're around the same age?
Actually Venus is just a bit older than Sweetie Belle

Ah. So Rarity is kind of an older sister figure to her?
We need "Uncle Anon" for Rarity.

Do it. Do it now.

Seriously though, it'd work great, relationship-wise: Twilight's brother being Cadence's bitch, etcetera.
>On the far side of Equestria, Cadence's ovaries tingle.
>She is suddenly overcome with a morose sense of shame, and nostalgia.
>Perhaps this is a sign that it's time…
>You only hope she doesn't cause TOO much of a scene.
>You've seen how giddy little fillies get when they meet a Princess. Imagine what it'll be like when she finds out her mom is one!

>Only half of that turned out to be true.
>Her 'mommy' certainly WAS a Princess.
>It just wasn't Cadence, and whatever filly Cadence met that day certainly didn't seem 'giddy.'
>"egg-donating bitch"

I really don't care for this, do you guys really think someone who was raised by Aunty Cel, had Luna for a mom, and spent their foalhood with rarity would be this crass?
Anon is the father.
I agree. Maybe just refer to her as "the egg donator" or "surrogate," or some other phrase that denotes her status as gene supplier, but not parent.
And he didn't seem to be a load mouth in this one, try and keep your anons straight..

>Shining Armor suffers from a genetic disorder that leaves him with a slow spermcount.
>Add onto this the general inability of alicorns to conceive in the first place, and suddenly there's a very compelling reason for Cadence to seek out Venus.
>I mean, why wouldn't the filly want to be a part of the Royal herd?
>Having spent so long as a single father, Anonymous would be so happy to see his filly living in the lap of luxury!
>She'd finally have what she deserves!
>Your little family will finally be complete!

Then of course, things don't turn out as they fanticized.
Now that I think of it you are right. But now I can't help but picture Luna being the one to say bad things about Cadence.
Or Venus overhears Anon talking about Cadence when they think she's not around.
Cue him having to comfort her after she asks him if she wasn't wanted.
When she's younger, she might not understand the full meaning of it, thus why she wouldn't call her that at first.
But I could see that as she grows up, she comes to comprehend Cadence's reason for giving her up and what she put her Dad through, and that's when the real anger starts to come into play.
>why wouldn't the filly want to be a part of the Royal herd?
So Shining wants a mother-daughter three way?
>Venus would learn creative olde timey insults from Luna. From her dad, she'd learn how to use the basic curses to maximum effect.
>He once went on a five minute tirade against a pony badmouthing her, and never used the same insult twice.
>She's not sure if she can do the same, and only hopes she can make him proud.
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Derp, shoulda been family.
I'd like to think Luna would be 'Above' crass insults like that, seeing them as something a peasant would say.

>>Venus would learn creative olde timey insults from Luna. From her dad, she'd learn how to use the basic curses to maximum effect.
>>He once went on a five minute tirade against a pony badmouthing her, and never used the same insult twice.

This on the other hand...
>Birth mother abandons you
>Straight-up gives birth to you and hands you off as quickly as she can
>Pretends that you (nor your father) do not exist for the first 10-15-whatever years of your life
>Father dropped out of high school and has to work two jobs just to make ends meet

IDK, I think Venus MIIIIIGHT be a tiny bit bitter towards her royal, rich, biological mother. What, do you want her to be "Oh dear, I say, my biological mum sure is a pony with poor ethics. Goodness me."
It's called a 'narrow urethra'.
I will cream my pants if this is made canon. Even if it's just a paragraph where Cadence is fantasizing about going back to her old fucktoy that she dropped like a piece of garbage.

>"No, sweetheart, really. I love you. I just... thought that... I was protecting you. From assassins. No, my husband isn't defective. No, you aren't my second choice. Let's be a family together, Penus."
You already said it.
>"A-Anon! What in EQUESTRIA did you tell my daughter?!"
"I told her the truth, 'dear'. I told her how you abandoned us to fend on our own so that you could go find yourself a new fucktoy."
>Freeman in the stained glass
Every time.
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Finally some Daring Do.
Not only that, but you're only alive on a couple of technicalities: abortion is illegal for alicorns, and your father is the only member of his race in Equestria. If not for those two things, "mommy dearest" would have flushed you in favor of her senior prom.

So bitter, disrespectful, crass? Yup, yup, and yup. But justified for all those things as well.
I like it when an artist throws in little details like that.

I can imagine
Venus confronting Cadence about her birth and her reasons, and getting really angry.
Then Cadence losing her cool and hit Venus
She is send to the ground, Venus is fine, but Anon saw what happened.
He goes full Bear-dad went he sees her daughter on the ground.
Cadence and a very confused Shining.
Venus get back on her hooves just in time to see what happens.
Cadence and a very scared Shining Armour grab Anon and in a spurt of power, slam him in the wall full force.
Anon is injured.
His pain cries are heard in the castle.
Venus looses herself and start to fuck shit up.
There is no escape.
Boss fight theme starts.
Bonus points if she can turn in a full fleshed human for melee attacks and an alicorn in magic attacks
Venus knows who to cure but only in her Alicorn form, the cures are for 2 turns full
He needs 5 cures to be back in barel good healt.
We control Anon and Venus.
Feels and love attacks don't affect because father-daughter tandem stuff.
Combine that with her hearing how hard her dad worked to support her, either from Celestia, Rarity, or Rarity's dad but not once from Anon himself. She could even eavesdrop on Celestia telling Luna or someone else the whole story.
Go to bed.
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Maybe. . . maybe you should lay off the weed for a while, friend. Maybe go read a book with pictures, and have a nice nap.
Sorry, i finished M&L Dream team yesterday without sleeping, it's a good game.

Then i came to lurke and bam!

game/writefagging set exploted.

Beat that Anon.
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What if you want a dozen foals?
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Ask nicely.
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Amazing! Can you write more lewds please?

Which RGRE mares would be into that?
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I just posted her, anon.

Other than Fluttershy of course.
Flutters is a breeder. Though Milky would be my first non-princess choice.
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I want to say... Pinkie.
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If we don't count Celestia, AJ is the easy option.

I'm not so sure about that. I think RGRE Pinkie would like kids, but wouldn't want any of her own anytime soon after seeing what the Cakes go through everyday.


Also an excellent choice.
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I can see that. In that case

AJ. Needs lots of foals to help run the farm.
You don't have to use vulgar language to hurt others, in fact over the years I have found that I can hurt people far worse without it.

I also makes them less likely to just dismiss you as angry or stupid, it's kinda terrible how easy it is to hurt normal people with just a few choice words.

>Needs lots of foals to help run the farm.

You could play this for funny.

>AJ gets mad when Anon is into monogamy and only wants 3 kids at most.
>How are they supposed to keep the farm running smoothly?!
>"Ah swear, Anon, it's like y'all WANT the farm tuh fail! Now yew get yer big, fat dingle-dongle inside mah cooter 'else y'all want a slap."

She doesn't hit hard; it's more for the shock value than anything else. Why does Anon make her do these things?
Instead of fighting, Anon and Shining could become friends. He could babysit. Venus could even acknowledge Shining as 'Uncle Shining', just to give Cadence more angst.

"AJ, we could just hire some farmhands?"
>"Nuh-uh! No way! Costs too much."
"Just having more kids isn't a viable alternative! We'd have to wait for the foals for get old enough to help, and in the long term foals cost more than farmhands!"
>"Don't you try to fool me with yer fancy mathematics! You and Mac are exactly alike ah swear..."
>You shake your head.
>Why is your wife so silly?
what are you, a prideless fag?
I like that, a nice subtle cruelty to twist the knife.
>>Why is your wife so silly?
cuz redneck
>AJ tries to justify having more foals
>Actually just wants to have a lot of foals
>But that shit's colty as fuck, so she tries to play it off as having extra help around the farm
Rednecks are pretty great.
>inviting her daughter to the royal herd
anon would straight up beat her ass

>Anon finds out
>Teases the fuck out of her in private about it.
>Goes along with it because AJ is cute when she's honest with herself.
>>Goes along with it because AJ is cute when she's honest with herself.
He just... goes along with fucking a dozen foals into her? That doesn't sound like something you should just go along with.
>wants to have a lot of foals
> goes along with fucking a dozen foals into her?
Actually 'alot' could mean anything from 3 or 4 to several kids. Personally, I think 4 is a pretty big number.
My grandma had 8 kids.

Also the ratio of male to female is 1:1 I honestly wish I could commend her for that sick ratio.
"Wow grandma, what a sick ratio!"
>"How about I slap your shit, sonny?"
12 is actually the biggest family I know personally.
I was looking for that car racing story paste bin.

Turns out amoeba wrote it: http://pastebin.com/Z8MTmJeD
She'd probably just be confused really. She doest speak a lick of English. And has only a high school education.

Some relative to my grandma had 15 kids I thing. Don't know them directly though.

What's the maximum number of kids a women can have?
Something along the lines of forty children assuming they all survive.
Frosty, when are you going to update your bin with all the other stuff you've written?
It's getting annoying going through DesuStorage whenever I get the hankering for it.
Unless you got propellered again.
>"No way, AJ. Just no way-"
>You stop your hoofsies, swaying slightly
"Ahm' Rait! H-haw do ya think we ahhh-*cough* appuls got so big?"
>Fluttershy giggles. "S-so you h-have been lo-looking at Big M-Mac's Big-"
>Rarity gasps, shoving Flutters playfully. "Fluttershy, for shame! You get some ciders into you an-"
>You blink, and everyone's staring at you
>oh, right. Whoops
"I-It's... it knows th' seeekrit."
>Oh hey, you should sit down
>Damn drinkin' games with RD
>And DD
>And PP
>....why does everypony have two letters as their naaaaame-
>"What secret, AJ?"
>Dang twilight
>The parasprite's out of the death cube, as pinkie would say
"Th..the secret tah... controllin 'em."
>"...what, colts?"
"N-nah. Yer ovaries. Tah.. control the fate of pones-!"
>The girls giggle, and you narrow your eyes at them and the campfire
>All 15 of your herdmates callin' you out?!
>What do they know
>Dang city-slicker mares
>You're gon' find your colt and rut out some more colts
>As you sit there thinking about having a ton of colts with your soon-to-be husband, you also start to think about, yanno
>making sure to buy them clothing and accessories
>how much maintenance boys as a whole are
>....when they hit puberty and need those hygiene products
>........how much money that's going to cost
>Dangit why did you open your big mouth?!
>Tonight was a "they won't let me live it down" kinda night
Early on I binned most of the stuff I wrote, but as more and more shorts piled up with varying degrees of quality, I transitioned into having a minimum personal standard for any story I write. So now I don't bin stuff unless I think the story hits that mark. That's also in place to justify my laziness since I tend to write in a bunch of different places and thus don't have access to all the hard copies of the things I write.

I could bin whatever it is you want me to though. Since I don't title my work until it's binned you can just give me a brief description of it if you don't have the links on hand.
Yeah, nah. Fuck Shinning and his cunt of a wife. In this story at least, I could bro it up with him and engage in naughty fun time with Candy in other stories.
Or I guess, if you don't mind, I could just collect the shorts, bin them, and then either put it on my bin or just give the collected stuff to you to put up.
Either way, I got some searching to do tonight.
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Sounds like a good goal to have with your waifu.
i like this appahjah
No objections here, Anon.
TFW no more Homohorse.

There will probably be more Caramel stuff in the future, I love writing that little pony. Just, not that particular story anymore. Sorry Anon.

I had been wondering for a little while if maybe I should just put what I did write, up to where I got stuck and maybe add notes about the intended direction of the story, into a bin or post it here so at least there's some kind of conclusion there for those who wanted it. I wasn't sure how well that idea would fly, but I guess at this point I've got the suggestion written out so... thoughts?
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>You smile to yourself, being quite aware of the attention you're gathering.
>All across Sugar Cube Corner, ponies eye you with expressions varying between shocked, disgusted, and aroused.
>"An-anon, you r-really don't have to d-do this right nuh-now..."
>Twilight, sitting on your lap, moans loudly and clamps a hoof into her mouth as you give the tip of her horn a quick, tight twist.
"Nonsense, Twi. Horn maintenance is very important to a unicorn. Rarity told me all about it."
>Sitting across form you, Rarity's flushed face quickly pales back into her regular, pure-white colour.
>Rarity tries to speak, but she can't produce anything but squeaks.
>Twilight, on the other hand, is squirming and kicking her widdle hoofsies in a vain attempt at escape.
>"Nuh-nooooo~ N-not where ev-everypony can see!"
"Absolutely not."
>You lean in close so that your hot breath tickles her ear, which flaps at the stimulation.
"I've been meaning to help 'clean' you for a while now, Twilight Sparkle. And you're such a dirty, DIRTY unicorn..."
>You take the tip of Twilight's ear in between your lips and give it a light tug.
>Twilight actually bucks her hips, nearly sending her tumbling out of your lap.
>You turn your attention to Rarity, who is getting a harsh glare from Applejack.
>>"Did y'all REALLY trick the poor colt into rubbin' yer horn? You lil' horseapple, I aughtuh tan yer hide something FIERCE fer that."
"Am I doing this right, Rarity? Should I get a firmer grip?"
>Without waiting for an answer, you stop teasing Twilight's horn and simply grip it with your entire hand.
>You start to essentially jack Twilight off, moving fast and holding on tight.
>Whatever inhibitions that Twilight once had are gone; her loud, pleasure-filled moans and gasps fill the room shamelessly.
>With one final shriek, Twilight's body spasms in your grip, your hold around her chest the only thing keeping her from falling onto the floor.
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>Pure, liquid magic spurts from the tip of Twilight's horn, spraying across the table and plastering Rarity's face.
>The first spurt catches Rarity unawares; the second catches her tail while she leaps off of her chair and out of the path of the horn-jizz; the third splatters harmlessly on the surface of the table, where it begins to pool.
>Rarity shakes herself around like a dog drying off, trying desperately to be free of Twilight's magical seed.
>Rainbow Dash just burst out laughing and called Rarity a dyke.
>You pick up Twilight and hold her in your arms, carrying the panting and sweating pony over towards the exit.
>You catch a few whispers on your way out.
>"Oh buck, that was so hot!"
>"How did that bucking nerd get him to do that?!"
>"Look at that dirty slut - he loves the attention."
>Twilight sluggishly wraps her arms around your neck, and you're subjected to the smell of wet horse.
>Looks like you owe SOMEPONY a bath.
>You're sure Twilight wouldn't mind if you helped her with that.

and also a very traumatizing thing to do to a mare in public
"And you're sure you need MY help?"
>Rainbow nods, her eyes darting side to side, "Y-yeah yeah. C'mon Anon, it's just as important as horn maintenance"
>You stifle a chuckle, they still think they tricked you on that?
>She turns around while still straddling your legs and lifts her rear
>Her fluffy chest drops until you can feel her warmth on your shins
>Rainbow shuffles backwards until her rear presses right against your chest with her tail splayed over the front of your shirt
>She looks back at you and motions her head back, "I'm desperate here Anon, I really need your help" she whines
>You look down her body, Rainbow's wings are totally flared out, giving a twitch every now and then
"Okay Rainbow, but you really should remember to book an appointment with the spa twins before you have a Wonderbolt event"
>She pumps her hoof, "Yes! Uh... I-I'll be sure to remember to get my joints worked there next time f-for sure!"
>You place your hands on her lower back, her head faces back towards the front and raises a little
>Rainbow's rump presses into your chest slightly
>As your hands trail up her body, you notice her wings twitching faster
>"Mmn... almost there..." she whispers to herself, which you can hear given how she's less than a leg's length away from you
>A devilish grin appears on your face as you lift your hands off her barrel
>The pressure on your chest subsides, "H-hey?! Why'd you sto- Oh! Aaah!"
>You strike when her defense is at it's lowest, pinching both of her joints at the same time and giving them a firm squeeze
>She bucks her hips back, hard
>You feel a dampness already forming on your chest
>Rainbow goes through various stages as you work her joints
>"J-just a little higher..."
>Trying to maintain the lie
>"S-sorry Anon, the haaa-heat you're w-working out of my joints h-haaa-s to go s-somewhere right?"
>Still able to make coherent responses to questions like "Why is my shirt getting wet?"
>"Mmmn... Yes!.. p-pinch it you s-slut!"
>Forgoing the lie completely
>And finally
>"Aaah! oh... Oh... OH!!!"
>Rainbow's quaking rear legs try but the maregasm she had was the final straw
>She flops unceremoniously onto your lap, a small pool of frothy yellow liquid is forming under her slick quivering cunt, seeping through your shirt and onto your belly now
>You look down, it's like you spilled lemonade down your shirt or something
>You rest a hand on Rainbow's lower back, she takes in a shaky breath
>As you gently trace your hand in a small circle she breathes out slowly and melts further into your lap
>Now completely relaxed and most likely still dazed from her fierce maregasm, you inch her down your legs slow enough that she doesn't notice
>Low enough now that you can reach the button and zipper of your pants, you prepare to coat her in a color of your own
>White may be a pretty bland color for pony that's all about flashiness, but you don't think she'll object to this too much
>You remove your coloring stick from its cloth container, so ready to start that it's leaking from the tip
>Even if she does have a problem with the color, it'll take no time to get you both all cleaned up

>TFW no more Homohorse.
And nothing of value was lost.
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Oh yes.
"...What do I poke?"
>You stare at Appul horse
>She stares back expectantly
>"Come on now, work yer magic," she said with a happy little wiggle
>Your nose scrunches as you lift the little horse up into the air
>Where to attack...
>Where to attack...
>You look all over the little hoers, trying to find something that looks sensitive
>You check her head
>...Nope, no horn
>Her back
>...No wings
>Poking at her rump only gets you a happy wiggle
>Feeling daring, you start playing with the bottoms of her hooves
>"Anon! Quit it ya varment," Appul said through her sudden but violent giggle fit. "That tickles!"
>Fucking earth ponies...
>Today was the day you came inside of Applejack.
you have to massage earth mares from the inside

>Be Venus
>The first and only human/pony abomination in Equestria.
>And your Dad was AWESOME!
>The Egg Donating Bitch showed up with her new whore, Shining what's-his-face, and basically invited you into their herd.
>You grinned as Miss Princess barely dodged a kick from your dad, terror clear on her face.
>Before you could even tell her no, your Dad went CRAZY on her ass!
>You laughed as Slut Armor shrieked at the sight of your Dad so viciously attacking her.
"If anyone's gonna herd my daughter, it's gonna be me!"
Why does everyone hate Shining? What did he do?
Hate by association
>Go through Desu
>Desu shits itself earlier
>Keep going
>5 things with decent-ish length
Now, if I could only find the Dadnon happening. Either I missed it or it's coming
>Anon and Birdwife prepare to explore an ancient ruin
>Princess Twilight is already there with an archaeological team
What do?
>Rile local natives up against foreign intruders
>Take relic from Twalot when she walks out
>Laugh with birdfu as her team runs for the airship with locals in tow
>Friendship *is* magic
>Find camp they set up
>If guards are there, they will inevitably be mares
>b/c stallions are useless as shit
>Anon seduces/pretends to be hurt
>birdfu sneaks in and steals loot
Does BirdWife have a name? I feel like she needs one if she's gonna keep appearing in greens.

I propose Gertrude. Anon calls her Gerdie.
Do ponies have bones? Or are they magical, multicolored marshmallow all the way into?
My very first thought when I read this was, "Finally! Skull-fucking can happen!"
I don't think that's what skullfucking means, and even if it did, how would you be able to skull fuck a pony if they don't have skulls?
Now you're just splitting hairs.
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Western outlaw Anon?
>At October of last year
>Have 18 shorts/things
Fuck, why did I actually think about doing this.
>Concerned you try to find a spot that would work just right.
>Applejack meanwhile gives a little giggle as your hand roam around her fur.
>Soft coos and moans come out as your hands go down her barrel, nothing quite yet.
>Trailing finger tips dig into her back like claws that drags out a groan in a higher pitch.
>Better, but not quite there yet...
>Sliding your little peepers down her belly you hum as you can feel her start to quake.
>"Haha... Anon that tickles, c'mon lover boy Ah thought you were good at this?"
>Oh it's on now little apple!
>Digging your fingers into her fur you can feel her quiver as you quest down further into optimal belly rubbing position.
>Then, you feel a strange hard nub on your fingers.
"What is that?"
>Before Applejack can answer you press on it and hear a small click.
>Shaking the ringing from your ears you look at the now red delicious apple whose staring back at you.
>"N-now Ahnon, why ya gotta go and be pushin' buttons like that? Don'tcha know that's a special spot?"
"I do now!~"
>"Ahnon no!"
>"Ahnon stahp that!"
"Hue, no."
>Fuckin' earth ponies man, how do they work?
Guilty by association. Also, if he knows what Cadence did and stuck around with her afterward he's a complete twat.
It's all fun and games until you break it.
Maybe he thinks things will be different this time, that she really loves him and won't bail as soon as he gets her pregnant...
There could be a whole club of stallions she's burned.
I thought he was going for her teats for a second there.
>Anon dodging angry princess hooves and spells
"Don't you have better things to do than stealing our job?"
>"Your job, you're stealing priceless artifacts!"
"And you're not?"
>"Dammit Anon, those belong in a museum!"
"A museum in Canterlot, right?"
"We're both tomb robbers, stealing from the past. You take treasures, fly them to Equestria, and prop them up in museums a thousand miles from their home and the people whose history it forms."
>"That's not wh-"
"We steal them and sell them to the highest bidder. The difference is that we're honest about it. Think there's an element about that somewhere..."
>"That's not true! We're nothing alike! Now give me that stone!"
"Oh, I know, I was just distracting you while honey brought the ship around."
>Anon grabs ladder from airship to escape.
>Calling out from the pilot's wheel, his birdfu asks if he got it.
>Walking over, he sets the idol on the console and steals a kiss
"It was too easy, now how about you show them why you're the best pilot out here."
>You wanted to move on, honest!
>It's not your fault nopony was ever quite as good.
>When you got back to school, you were so darn ready to get back into the swing of things.
>Met a cute colt with brown fur, Timey something, and he just ate up whatever you said.
>Said you'd always love him.
>Said he was your first time.
>Said you couldn't wait to have his foals.
>Then you actually slept with him. You kept waiting for him to pick up the pace, go harder, get back up for round two, but he just panted on the bed, exhausted.
>For somepony with such a big member, he certainly didn't live up to it.
>Now, you're not too proud to say that you weren't really fair to him.
>How's a pony supposed to last longer than 5 minutes anyways? It's not his fault you're spoiled rotten.
>It was, however, your fault that he didn't know you were dating Fancy Pants the next day.
>He was just so...boring.
>He never wanted to push the envelope, never let you know what he wanted!
>Never even wanted to try bondage...
>Never mind that stick in the mud though, Fancy Pants was the kind of colt that everyone wanted.
>You remember that herd of would-be herdmates that followed him around, carrying his stuff and laughing at his unfunny jokes.
>It almost made you feel bad when you walked up to him, told him he was hot, and told him you two were gonna go on a date after class that day.
>He was all over you.
>And that night, he was all IN you!
>Time Turner just didn't get it...
>...not that Fancy did either.
>He was in love with Fleur anyways, right? They turned out great!
>Yes, you said you were going to make him a noble when you formally ascended, but plans change, peo--er, ponies change!
>Why can't you fill this void inside? It's like there's this big space that can't be filled...you still see her eyes sometimes.
>You loved him, you really did!
>But love changes, and you just didn't quite know how to break things off without hurting his feelings!
>At least he didn't make a scene like Clocky-face guy did.
>Herd wrecker is a really harsh term, you know? A lot like specist or rapist. It's more than just the actions, you know? It's about the mindset!
>And you never asked him to give up his herd.
>You just told him how easy things were when it was just two.
>How you'd only ever have to pay for one date...
>How he'd never have to worry about fighting to be the alpha stallion in the herd...
>How things in bed were just so much more...intense.
>He just didn't have as...adventurous a spirit as a Princess, a RULER OF PONIES needs!
>This went on for a while, if you're being honest.
>It's not your fault he haunted you where ever you went.
>You just KNOW he's the reason Spitfire and the girls turned on you!
>She wasn't paying enough attention to Soarin anyways.
>At least you were brave enough to take it in the butt for him!
>In truth though, considering his tastes that colt had a whole bunch of reasons he wasn't all that into her.
>You were doing them both a favor! They're with the right ponies now anyways.
>Things got really...boring after that.
>It's like, nopony had a sense of adventure anymore!
>Maybe it was graduation looming, or all that stupid talking of having foals so gross! ow!, but nopony was really wanting to give you the time of day anymore.
>So...you didn't really bother much with ponies anymore.
>There was this place, right? It was over on the far side of Canterlot.
>Ponies say that it's supposed to be seedy, but you never really saw much of that.
>Apparently it was where all the meat eaters liked to hang out, clustered around the only slaughterhouse in this part of Equestria.
>It started out with just curiosity, you know? Griffons weren't like stallions! They liked to take control.
>Gustav was definitely your 4th favorite coltfriend from that year, easily!
>...it's just a shame he got deported.
>You'd have done everything in your power to get him a visa!
>You did in fact! You and him ever got together one night, all alone at his apartment outside city limits, and you did the forms together.
>It's just...
>You forgot to turn them in to the castle office.
>That was around the time you first got to KNOW Shiny by that point anyways.
>Really it was destiny the way things worked out.
>He said that he loved you, and would write to you constantly from home.
>And he did, you just...never found the time to write back.
>And then of course, TRUE destiny set in when you met Shiny!
>He was just so...perfect!
>He knew how to ask for what he wanted, but wasn't above listening to a mare, who knows better anyways.
>It took a little tutelage, but he learned how to appreciate the taste of a real mare!
>He even did that thing you liked, that you didn't like to talk about...
>It's not uncommon for a mare to want to have kids, so why should playing a little pretend be so weird?
>He even made you eggs the morning after, just to make it feel complete.
>Finally, the time came for your formal coronation, and you just knew everything was falling into place!
>And for once, nopony at court would question your tastes.
>It was the most perfect wedding that any little colt could ask for, complete with marrying the mare of everyone's dreams!
>Aside from the Changeling invasion anyways, but why focus on such minor details?
>It was the perfect end to your quest for the perfect colt.

>At least until the test results came back.

>You remember him...crying. Apologizing a lot.
>You rubbed his back, told him he was still your special little Prince, but the display was just so...colty.
>In a moment of pity, you told him about...her.
>You told him about Anonymous, and the filly you gave up, and you told him there was still a way he could raise your filly.
>He was...apprehensive.
>It almost seemed as if he didn't like the idea of raising her.
>But you'd been with enough colts to know that they never TRULY knew what they wanted.
I made it through all 14 minutes. Restarting it now.
awww poor shiny. I hope he gets a happy ending at the end of all this.
>Even if he didn't like it initially, he'd learn to like it.
>For the first time in a long, long time you felt passionate about something.
>Like this...morose sense of boredom was finally clearing up.
>You started doing your research, went looking for hospital records.
>You found much more than that though. Everything you could have ever needed to know about your little foal.
>And the more you read, you more you just KNEW that Anonymous was ruining that child.
>3 stitches at age 6, a bucking C in second grade math!
>She spent who knows how much of her early life in a BAR for Celestia's sake!
>It wasn't right for her!
>You spent so many nights awake in that crystal palace, gazing at the ceiling and thinking of all the things your poor little filly missed out on.
>Shiny started talking a lot about surrogates around that time.
>He didn't get it though, he couldn't understand.
>It would be his child, yes, but it wouldn't be 'yours'.
>He'd learn to love her, once he got to know your little ball of sunshine!
>Eventually, you knew you couldn't wait any longer.
>You'd been feeling empty for so long, and you knew this was the best way to get rid of that feeling.
>Anon would be pouty and dramatic at first, all the males you'd been with were the same in that way, but he'd get over it.
>Hopefully he'd gotten over that monosexuality by now.

>...if not, then you'd 'make room' to accommodate.

partially drunk and writing mostly stream of thought. Comments and critique below please!
I think this was pretty darn good. I mean, sad. But well written.

Took the idea of "Cadence leaves a trail of broken hearts and unfulfilled love behind her" and ran with it as much as I could. Seriously though, first real green ever and any advice or praise is definitely appreciated.
Did he write it or just bin it, 'cause I've got it binned, too.
If you were writing a backstory for something big to fallow up with you did a good job. Other than that it was pretty alright. Even if Cadence was a bit OOC
>>Shiny started talking a lot about surrogates around that time.
>>He didn't get it though, he couldn't understand.
>>It would be his child, yes, but it wouldn't be 'yours'.

seriously, please let shiny have something nice at the end of all this. he doesn't deserve to be chained to this ridiculous narcissist for his whole life just because he got caught up in her web. little nigga deserves a mare who will appreciate his generosity and whose womb isn't an inhospitable sperm wasteland.

That was nice. Cadence is very obviously still a cunt, but she at least recognized what she did to Venus was wrong.
Started toying around in my head, wondering what Cadence was doing and feeling until the fateful meeting with Anon in Shuk's story.

I like the idea of setting her up as someone who never quite got over Anon and Venus, and was desparately trying to recapture that spark.

Hopefully, we'll all get to see a real writefag take her down to size a bit. All respects to the author!
This thing is a good thing. There should be more.
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Story prompt:

Anon has no magic, and so his body processes it differently. In his case, Anon's body processes magic the same way it processes smell, much like a bloodhound. Anon can now get information about ponies by sniffing their butts; much like a bloodhound. (I'm not going to hold your fucking hand. Get creative, you fucks) Ponies think this is WEIRD at first, but they eventually start to believe that this is part of a human mating ritual.

Writefags GO
>Ponies think this is WEIRD
Anon, I think this is weird.
How does anon fucking discover this?
Seriously fart fetish guy this is getting sad.
I like it up until the butt part. Sniffing their manes seems good enough.
Or maybe licking their soft little hoovsies
Anon. That's pretty fucking weird.

You had something at first, then you made it weird.
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you have like 60 % of a good idea there.
prompt-anon here

fuck's sake, a while back there was some green about ponies sniffing butts like DOGS would and I was trying to reverse it. Don't bring your weird fucking fetishes into this.
forget the dog thing. anon smells magic or tastes magic or some shit, I don't know. The point of the prompt was that anon processes magic in a way you wouldnt expect.
i rhogh i twas going to be "oh anon has to act like a dog how wacky" but what the fuck ever

fucking the last time i post on 4chan drunk
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It's ok when when a writefag decides to write it on their own.

But when you try to suggest to someone the idea of writing about a self insert MC sniffing the butt of others and most probably your waifu, you are going to come off as a pervert.

Besides, ponies are already like dogs, so it's ok if they do them.
things are werid
lets drop it
ftr i was going for the "acting like a dog" angle, not the "sniffs butts b/c its my fetish" angle, k? wanna pake that clear
There's no need to take it so personally, friendo.
also show me an "anon in equestria" that isnt a fucking self insert
It's just a prank!
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Lets try a different idea for a prompt.
Praise the Emperor.
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Your cadence is much less sympathetic of a character than the one shukakum is writing.
This cadence is a straight up asshole.
I hope this one gets run over by a pegasi or something
You don't need to lie to us, Butt-Sniffing-fetish-Anon.
>An exotic foreign stallion that needs to learn to read?
>Bookhores fetish fuel
Fuck you, drunkposgt more.
>Anon ends up in equestria
>Ponies try to magic the "strange demon thing"
>Anon discovers magic is delicious
>Each pony has a different flavour
>Sometimes when Anon is hungry/thirsty he just grabs a nearby pony and consumes some of their magic.
>He is aware that when he sucks magic from a unicorn's horn it's basically a magic-blowjob, but magic just tastes really fucking good
>>Sometimes when Anon is hungry/thirsty he just grabs a nearby pony and consumes some of their magic.
>>He is aware that when he sucks magic from a unicorn's horn it's basically a magic-blowjob, but magic just tastes really fucking good
Oh. I thought he would literally take their magic away, like Tirek did.
That could be fun too
there something missing between this one and last paste?

also, SO glad to have more DD. this is the #1 reason i keep hanging out ITT.
>He does it in small doses, like blood donation shit.
>Ponies recover most of it after a hot meal and some sleep.
>As a result, ponies become just this much more magical.
>Anon is placed on an all-magic diet by the guard.
>Refuses to suck off stallions, but not like they do much besides guarding the Princesses by standing pretty.
>All the tactical operating operator guardsmares are all magisucked weekly
>When Tirek comes and tries to suck one of them, he chokes because there is so much magic
>They use the moment to thrust their throbbing auras into his gaping mana vortex
>Tirek overloads and asplodes in a burst of magic, showering all the mares in liquid mana
What happens to Anon, tho?
All that magic must do something for him.
It's really fucking delicious.
What's your favorite food/drink?
It's better than that.
You could even go so far as to say the flavor is MAGICAL
Also he's now pretty popular with the ponies he just gave a hornjob to
Oh, almost forgot
>The mares are all shaky and weak from the astounding experience
>They start licking up whatever is salvageable because can't just waste mana like this.
>From consuming each other's magic they all become yet more magical
>Bound by a bond beyond that of mere soldiers' camaraderie.
>They become so magical that the mane sex just retire and live happy lives
>Instead the tacticool six just deploy wherever they are needed and do the thing
>Anon is assigned as their handler/armorer/sucker/teat-twister/whatevs
>He calls his squad Anon's Angels, and they are all very embarrassed by it, but go along with it anyway.

Sometimes I try to be high-brow and all that shit, but you can't shake off your roots I guess.

Anon is a magic void, the magic half burns up half bleeds off into his environment. The squad's researcher and prospective equipment designer (known only by her pseudonym Phobosmosher) devised a way to use the bleedoff to power up magical items with non-unicorn energy, bringing the benefits of self-charged artifacts to every race.
This was good. She's still a horrible bitch, but it was well done and reminds me of people I know who make shitty decisions but never cop to it.

Good job, Snips.

Nope, he shackled himself to a bitch-whore and he gets to live with it.
I'm a sucker for humans uplifting ponies. Shame the best one I've read is horribly unfinished.
>"And remember, Pinkie, a mare must have just one big, big love in her life!"
>"But Grandma, what was yours? What was your big big love?"
>"Oh, sailors."
>Anon in his car arrive in equestria
>Sexy space babe in her spaceship
>Meets ponies.
>Decides their stuff is shit
>They haven't even invented the toilet yet!
>Fuck that.
>Promptly moves to canterlot, because it unicorns there teleport the shit away into the sky above cloudsdale, making it the least-shitty city
>Has tea with Princesses
>Alien babe falls in love with our hero
>Anon smacks ponies around with a clue-by-four
>Teaches them to poo in loo
Ok, Frosty, I rounded up most of the stuff, sans some Caramel stuff.
There's 23 shorts/stories in here, you fuck. Some are fairly long, too.
Binning them later this morning, hopefully with grammatical corrections. Obviously not going to be binned in the order they were written.
>Trawls through the archives to collect, sort, and pastebin stories for us
You're my hero, Anon.
He's the hero we need, not the one we deserve.
You glorious bitch
you're the autist we need