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Anon in Equestria - Thread #1083 New Year,...
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Previous Thread: >>25881197

IRC: irc.rizon.net #/mlp/AiE
Active list: http://pastebin.com/mVG33ERX
Master list: http://pastebin.com/xGf9RcL9
Completed Stories list: http://pastebin.com/QZ4PDe7g
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>rope's Gay Thread Archives: http://pastebin.com/Qg2dwzq0
Collection of AiE images: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ju8ygvv3n4fa0um/quC3vIooOq#/

>PiE corner
>Remember to tag all PiE Stories.

PiE Author List: http://pastebin.com/Mgd0QuNy
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Tripfags in Battle-Horse Equestria.
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keeing my question form last thread in line

1) Any recent ish chrysalis stories? One was promised for christmas but nothing came of it I believe and I want to read some love bug.

2) It appears that the story I wanted was here
But it appears most of the parts are hidden/gone, anyone got links to them?
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Yeeeah baby, work that grill.
So, what have i missed since thread 1,089?
>since thread 1,089?
>posting in thread 1083
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Shit, thread 1,079 then
I haven't been around much, but the active list is your friend.

It might be a good idea to have the active list full of the past month, rather than two weeks.
I just want a TL;DR
I have too many threads on the backlog
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Look at this
She will never sneak under the covers while you sleep and suck you off while she rubs her crotchboobs all over your face.

Life is suffering.
Sounds like fun.
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>you will never twist her teats
I typed a thing.
I wrote one a while ago (last year near Christmas). Don't know if it's the one you're looking for.
Happy new Years fags!
Celebrate the new year with ponies!

Spin the Bottle any good (http://pastebin.com/rvBHC9PV)? Just downloaded & combined the pastes, and it's quite lengthy (think my word processor said about 50k).
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Hello nor/mlp/eople, what does the inside of the changeling hive smells like? Rotten? Acidic? Sweet and alluring?
Depends on the hive.
finish it please
crossposting weird foreign muck
>Be Anon, out of the hospital now
>The girls invited you back to the spa to celebrate that
>So who haven't you fucked yet?
>There's those spa attendants, you haven't stuck your dick in them yet.
>Right, it's decided.
>You slip away from the group and head to the weird vibrating gelatin bed thing that's all the rage with the hip kids
>"Zer bed ist ready, please to be lieing down on your back."
>She puts the goggles on you and the bed begins to violently shake
>"IS GOOD, YA?!" she shouts over the loud motors of the bed
"The only thing that could make it better is one of those happy endings the girls told me you do"
>"Very well, I get ze schnitzel-case then."
>After a few minutes you feel something slide over your penis
>Then she fucks you and rubs the gooey leftovers of your fornication on your face
>"Is best way for healthy skins, like mamma used to give when was back in old country."
>"Is why sister and I look so nice."
Do more.
U guys dead yet?
Haven't been here in months
Only slightly dead.
Keep trying.
Any oldfags still left in here?
imperious still shitposts from time to time
cyoa's probably still around somewhere

maybe more?
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Lurkin intermittently. Comment about stories sometimes. Waiting for that day where I get bored enough to write.
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Stop reminding me of the game I'm not playing you noddler.
French fries
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It smells rotten because
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Sorry m8, not me. Don't worry though, you'd know from the first pic if it mattered.
Wasn't saying that was you, was saying I'm still around.
>Chrysalis's hobby is disguising herself as Twilight and farting.
>Anon can tell them apart simpily because the real Twilight has become so neurotic about the accusations of farting that she removed her own intestines so as to be unable to fart.
>He's seriously concerned for her health.
Have you ever written anything serious.
I honestly don't know.
Serious is hard.

When you write comedy, its lacking of hard continuity. Hilarity needs less source and explanation, and things can be scrubbed the next story. Serious stories have things happen for reasons. They have characters that need to be treated as having consistent memories that will effect what they do. They generally have some goal in mind and are supposed to reach it, or if diverted, justify their current actions.

Serious locks you down, and some people don't like the upkeep.
I'm an old? writefag that lurks now, if that counts.
Headcannon accepted.
I've been around long enough to be an oldfag I guess. I post thread bumpers on occasion.
Well, you'd have to ask several other questions.

What do they do in their daily lives?
Do they use pheromones? If so, when do they use it and how often?
How sophisticated is their city? What do they do for sanitation?
Where do they prefer to put their hives? Humidity and temperature matter.

To answer your question as a comparison to regular ants, a smell along the lines of rotten coconut, blue cheese, formic acid, and harsh citrus would be appropriate.

In other words, I would assume they would have a penetrating and pungent odor.

But the above questions may change that, and would add flavor to any description you may decide to present them with.

Oh yay, I'm an oldfag now.
...o-old huh...
...t-time to drink.
Alcohol is a preservative after all.
Age is relative.
You're only as old as the person you feel.
and that is why Rainbow Dash fondles kids.

Hm, so you're saying if I go find a 10 year old to feel...
I'd never leave you, Anon.
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Hey guys. Just thought I would make a little post to try and draw awareness to a new story I made. I'm pretty happy with it, so naturally I'm throwing it everywhere. Please check it out if Cute Sweetie Belle is your thing:

But it's not even AiE. For shame.
Do I count if I haven't posted a story in 3 1/2 years?
>Not AiE
Sorry buddy, I think I'll pass.
Shill harder, Priest! Try to really sell us your story!
Why should WE use OUR time to read YOUR story instead of fondling our balls and sniffing our fingers when we think no one watches?
Just Sweetie Belle being cute is not enough anymore in 2016!
Yeah, yeah. I know it's not AiE... but the purpose of it was a competition. I was dared that I couldn't write a story without Anon or a Fetish in it and it could be good. So I sorta wrote this to win a bet. If I win (and so far I am) He has to write an Anon story.

I know it's an attention whore thing to do, posting it everywhere, but my intent is to prove that AiE writers are good writers.
Nah don't sweat it, Priest. Seeking praise and recognition for something you poured a lot of time and effort into is only natural.
Gonna read it when I find some free time.
Last time on KAahCS (Cocks for short), Anon and company set out to find the cause of hundreds of disappearances in the south. In doing so, he came face to face with a relic from Tartatus, Lord Tirek, who proceeded to smack a bitch. Anon and one lone soldier barely make it out of confrontation and find refuge in the port town of Hooverpool. They share their information with the mayor there, a rough woman by the name of Spurious, who promises to fortify the city in preparation for Tirek. Anon leaves Unassigned in Hooverpool as a contact and sets off back to New Earth.

>Several days go by as you make your way back to New Earth.
>Of course you took extra care to avoid forests, or really trees in general.
>Sleeping in an open field isn’t your idea of a good time, but it’s better than the alternative.
>Funny how once you know what’s out there, doing something that was safe just earlier seems all the more deadly.
>It’s sunrise as you reach your home.
>The walls stand tall as ever, and the gates remain open.
>It was meant to be a symbol that humans needn’t be shut in creatures anymore, but given the new information, you’ll have to change that.
>First things first, you need to make it to the radio tower.
>Every city has one, and New Earth’s is the strongest.
>With it, you’ll be able to broadcast a message to every city and village to warn them of the oncoming threats.
>On another note, your presence in the city is met with mixed feelings.
>Whenever someone looks at you, they start out happy. Looks of joy fade as they realize you’re the only one returning.
>Some questions come your way as to how the search went, but you ignore them.
>You’d like to be able to say that everyone is staying behind with Unassigned, but, well...that just isn’t the case.

>Before long, you’re at the tower.
>It’s a massive, elongated metal pyramid that reaches the sky.
>Beside it is a small building. That’s the control station.
>Your wolf lowers itself to the ground and you get off.

>Hobbling over to the building, the thought of getting a cane crosses your mind.
>You open the door and enter.
>Instantly, you are hit with horridly hot air, and a smell of unwashed people as bad if not worse than your own filthy garments.
>Six days in the same clothes will do that to you, you suppose.
>Though the lights seem to be off, you can still make out three men and a woman sitting around and chatting away.
>They stop whatever conversation they were having as you walk in and crane their heads to see you.
>The woman hits her knee on the large blinking control panel as she stands.
>All the crew bows to you, addresses you, all that jazz.
“Yes, yes, hello to you too.”
>”How was your journey, my king?”
“Eventful. I need you to broadcast a message for me, alright? This needs to reach every city and village across the globe.”
>”I think we can manage that. Can we manage that?”
>”We can manage that.”
>”You’re looking at the man’s finest creation right here.”
>”Power permitting, we could broadcast globally every second of every day.”
“Good. We have to warn the people in further settlements about a monster that somehow survived Falling Grace,” you say and approach the panel.
>”Do you want some water? It’s hot in here,” mutters one of the men as he walks off behind you, likely to a sink.
>The woman raises her eyebrow at you.
>”Do you really think a warning will prepare anyone for them?”
“It’s better than nothing. If the people have time, perhaps they could build some walls and dig some trenches. I don’t know how to beat this thing yet...but I’ll make it my personal mission to find out how.”
>She shrugs and turns around, fiddling with a bunch of levers and switches.

>Now, you’re no scientist, but those don’t seem to be doing much of anything.
>”If you really think walls are going to stop them when boomtubes and swords can’t, we’ll send the message.”
“Right. So firstly, we need to—“

>Wait a second, you never mentioned those.
“What was that about boomtubes and swords?”
>”You said a group of monsters survived Falling Grace.”
“I said one monster, and I never talked about its invulnerabilties.”
>She stares at you long and hard.
>And wait just a second, you never saw a sink in here!
>Before you can turn, a set of arms wrap around your neck and lock your head in place.
>”Rex unus erit cadent,” the waterboy whispers into your ear.
>This is a good lock, but the fool made one mistake. He left you with footing.
>You dig your fingers in between his arm and your throat.
>With all your might, you jerk forward and twist, throwing the man over your back.
>He hits the concrete floor with a thud and lets go of your neck.
>You’ve still got your grip on him though, and you twist his wrist until his palm is facing past the opposite direction.
>That woman leaps from her chair and rips a hefty looking keyboard out of the panel.
>She swings it full force and gives you a good one right across the face.
>You go flying and sprawl out onto the floor.
>Your cheek burns and your world is a little fuzzy, but at least that’s the worst of it. If she hit a little lower, you’d be out cold.
>You’re still regaining your bearings when something lands on your gut.
>The woman, you reckon from the light weight, and her keyboard.
>You raise your arms up to defend against an attack.
>The thing crashes hard against your forearms and snaps in half, the top of which falls and hits you in the face.

>She grabs one of your exposed arms and spins on your gut, dragging your arm with her.
>She falls back off your side and lays her legs across your chest and neck.
>You barely have time to grab your hand so she doesn’t pull your arm back all the way and snap it.
>Gods, she is strong for a woman.
>She has one arm locked around your elbow and is trying to pull your hand out.
>You oblige and let go of your arm, but using bicep strength, keep it bent and her own arm trapped.
>With that done, you grab her wrist and pull it up and over your arm, freeing you completely of her.
>Before she has time to react, you take the leg that was resting on your neck and throw her calf over your shoulder whilst hugging the thigh.
>With her leg anchored and knee in a precarious position, you muster as much force as you can and pull down on her thigh.
>Her knee pops, eliciting a loud scream of pain from her.
>She curls up on the floor, hugging her broken leg.
>You use the opportunity to roll away.
>However, you do so right into one of the standing men’s foot.
>Your hands go up instantly to block the kick and catch it just in time.
>His foot is secured in your hands, one of which is on his toes and the other on his heel.
>You twist his foot 180 degrees the wrong way.
>You feel confident in his defeat and jump to your feet.
>There are still two men in the room, each looking very ready to beat you senseless.
>Thank gods for adrenaline-induced pain relief.
>The farthest man whips out a boomtube from under his shirt.
>You’re fast, but uh...yeah, you’re not that fast.
>There has to be something you can do. If you drop to the floor right when he pulls the trigger, then maybe you could--
>Six shots go off.
>Every one of them goes into the control panel for the radio tower.
>It sparks and whirs in response like a dying engine.
>You’re afraid it will blow up for a second, but the whole thing just dies.

>The man pops his boomtube open, throwing six empty cases out the back.
>He begins loading it as the second man charges for you.
>Your assailant throws a punch, but you grab his wrist and pull it up, keeping his elbow bent at ninety degrees.
>With your free arm, you take your wrist from behind his own and yank down behind him, turning his shoulder into a mock symphony of cracking twigs.
>You hear a click in the distance and look up to see a fully loaded boomtube pointing right at you.
>No, he wouldn’t. You still have his partner in front of you. He’d die.
>You can see the hammer start to turn as he puts more and more pressure on the trigger…
>He would!
>You throw the man you’re holding down on the floor to spare him and take a bullet yourself.
>It goes right into your shoulder and hurts like a mother fucker.
>You drop down, landing right next to the half of the keyboard that hit your head.
>You grab it and throw it like a disk.
>It hits his hand and sends the boomtube flying.
>The window is there, Anon. Leap!
>You burst up from the floor and run full speed.
>With your lead lowered, you slam it right into the center of his chest.
>Keeping up the force, you slam his back into a wall.
>You whip your head up, crashing it into his chin.
>His teeth click together and likely chip in the process.
>You grab at his exposed neck with your good hand and squeeze with all your might.
>He claws at you and kicks to get free.
>When his struggles weaken, you loosen your grip ever so slightly and let some air back into his lungs.
>He is greedy with his breaths and sucks in air like he’d never had any before.
“I want answers,” you growl.

>”N-no! I can’t!”
“Why not?”
>”They’ll kill me!”
“And I won’t, but tell me. Who should you fear more? Death,” you yank him forward, almost touching noses, and glare into his frantic eyes. “Or the man who has to top it?”
“Talk! Who is ‘they’? Who do you work for?”
>Tirek? The monster from the forest?
>But they…
“You said ‘they’. Are there more?”
>He refuses to answer you.
>More than a little peeved, you slam him back against the wall, cracking the surface a little.
“I asked you a question! Are there more?”
“How many?”
>”I don’t know!”
“You better not be lying to me!”
>”I’m not! I swear! I don’t know how many there are, just that they follow Tirek!”
“And what about you? You and your little friends can’t be the only ones working for that piece of shit. Who are the others?”
>”I don--”
“And you better not tell me you don’t know.”
>”I-I...they come to us. They come to us in dreams. They only recruit us and give us orders. They don’t tell us who else is involved.”
“I’m not in the mood for your games. Only Princess Luna could control dreams.”
>”I’m not lying to you, I swear it! I swear by all the gods!”
>Little cretin.
“Why did you do it?”
“Why did you join them? Why didn’t you inform anyone that there were monsters left in the world?”
>”We joined them because...because…”
“Because why?”
>”W-we were afraid.”
>”Of you! We were afraid of you!”
>What’d you do?
>You’re a great guy compared to soul-sucking demons.
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>I did it because I want to win
The only thing that matters past having fun.
2016 is off to a great, great start.

>”You’re Anonymous, the mad king who laid waste to a world because he didn’t like how the others looked!”
“Didn’t like...they were monsters! They’d spent the last seventy fucking years trying to wipe humanity off the map!”
>”And you wiped *everything* off the map!”
“It was necessary!”
>”The salamanders were our allies! Was it necessary to kill them?”
“They were learning! They’d have turned on us eventually!”
>”They were learning because you taught them! *You* lifted them to power! *You* gave them schools! If they were to ever turn on us, it’d have been your fault, but you just killed them! You killed them like you killed everything else! Of course we’d be afraid of you! At least the monsters offered us safety if we served them!”
“How can I get in contact with these things?”
>Oh no. The adrenaline is wearing off.
>Ooooh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.
>”Y-you don’t. They come to you.”
“I’m going…”
>Going to...oh shit. Oh fucking lords.
>It’s getting hard to focus.
“Shut up. I’m going to find your boss. I’m going to kill him.”
>”Y-you can’t. He’s invincible.”
“Yeah? So was Celestia. Then I put a bullet in her head.”
>”Your guns won’t work.”
>Is he still talking?
>You can see his mouth moving, but you can’t really hear anything from it.
>Even through the heavy veil of drowsiness overcoming you, your body still burns with pain.
>Cutting the man off from whatever he was saying, you re apply pressure to his neck.
>He chokes and grabs at your hand, trying to pry you off, but you don’t let go this time.
>Not until you’re sure he’s unconscious.
>With that, you follow suite and black out yourself.

That's all I have today. If you like Cocks, don't forget to like and subscribe. If there's not enough Cocks here for you, you can get the full story at http://pastebin.com/0C1pXYxa
I like cocks only on mares.
Anon has cute pjs
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It's cool of you to mention it. Not like we're swimmin in greentext at the moment.
Damn thas cute pic
Only because it looks like she has a noose on her neck.
>"Don't be such a silly-billy, why would I have a noose around my neck, it's not like I ever feel lonely when I have so many friends to spend time with."
A "Careful with that edge kiddo", is also acceptable.
>Pinkie slowly slips into depression
>Anon is the first to notice
>Does his best to keep her from going full Robin Williams
But do you post rubber baby buggy bumpers?
Threadly reminder that hurr de durr de derp derp derpity doo.
They're just hidden.
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Moreso now since PiE merged.
jiffy pls
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>when you prioritize writing green over doing important work
>Not being able to write green becauseyou are stuck doing important work
No, I had it right the first time
>when you prioritize bumping threads over sleeping.
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>be waiting to go to sleep
>just have to check the threads one more time
>flip through tabs and update every thread
>No New Posts
>almost time for bed
>just check if any threads updated
>No New Posts
>ok now time for bed
>just one more check
What have I become?
Just go to sleep anon. Someone will be lurking tomorrow, waiting for the thread to hit page 8 so they can save the day. It's all accounted for. Now goodnight.
>be pony
>"Pony, come to bed," says Pony 2
"No, Pony 2," says you. "I must bump thread or else it will die
>"Please Pony. I must sex you."
>Think about it
>Do not sex Pony 2 for must bump thread
>Such is life in AiE
The girl who's hard to get?
Well this is the first time I've visited an AiE thread since I started coming here 3 years ago.
Can anyone recommend a few good stories?
catcher in the rye
>Can anyone recommend a few good stories?
Clinton's PR people produce pretty good fanfic of her on the regular.
this is why this thread is so fucking abandoned, you're literally shitposting people out of this place
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Not him, but if they get scared by shitposting, they should fuck off 4chan
you're fucking retarded, they lose interest and go somewhere else, not get scared ffs. how old are you, 12?
We're quiet from a combination of, "We aren't always nice to people" and writer's fatigue.
I think you can't universalize. For example, I was just recently reading some decent stories, but then I saw one little shitpost and my mom got scared and said "you're moving in with your auntie and your uncle in Bel-Air."
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>>be waiting to go to sleep
>>just have to check the threads one more time
>>flip through tabs and update every thread
>>No New Posts
>>almost time for bed
>>just check if any threads updated
>>No New Posts
>>ok now time for bed
>>just one more check
>What have I become?

Pretty much how my day goes. First thing in the morning, 2 or 3 times an hour at work, on the commute home, constantly in the evening, last thing I do before go to sleep clutching plushie
Any news from Thovar on an update for Dwarf in Equestria?
Ad a giggle m8
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If they can'tget past shitposts, why are they even here? Fucking newfag
I was wondering if anyone actually took offense about the salamanders. Though obviously Tirek didn't tell them about eating humans.
Great Expectations is the best book I've had the pleasure of reading.
I'm sorry, do you want me to hold your hand? I know it must he quite hard coming to 4chan and not immediately getting your dick sucked.

I've taken a long break too, but I know there's a few pastebins in the thread OP that will give you two or three of the recent stories and most of the completed stories. As for what's good, I can only vouch for the most recent threads, but they all seem at least readable to me.
What would the real life equivalent of that be? America civilizing the Australians and then killing them all?
Uhhh...what was the last story you remember reading?
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Crossposting from Flutterrape

>You are Fluttershy
>The snowy landscape of Ponyville slowly passes under you as you fly toward the crystal palace.
>You were on your way to return a book to Twilight.
>She still treated it like a public library so she expected books to be returned on time.
>Not like it matters.
>Nothing in the "Big Book of Fetishes Vol. 3" had helped you in your neverending quest.
>To get that huge monkey dick.
>You let out a quiet sigh.
>For months you've tried to get into his pants without success.
>You're way too awkward to woo him the healthy, normal way so appealing to his fetish was the only thing you could do.
>Which might have worked, if you knew what it was.
>At this point you think he's lying about what it is.
>B-bucking Anon.
>The crystal castle soon comes into view and you descend until your hooves touch down in front of the huge double doors.
>Despite their size, it's quite easy to open them.
>The giant hallways usually unnerved you with how cavernous and empty they were but they were less intimidating, decorated as they were for the season.
>You admire the decor as you go through the halls of the castle.
>You're about to turn the corner into the library when voices within it makes you pause.
>"...what the shit Sparkle, you told everybody?!"
>Your heart skips a beat.
>"Of course! I wanted everypony to share in your traditions."
>"I told you I hated doing that. Mom used to always force us to-"
>"It's cute! Besides, it's too late to stop now. So, come on!"
>Anon angrily groans.
>"Fucking Sparkle."
>The following the silence makes you curious enough to finally take a peak.
>You gasp at what you see.
>Your beloved human kneeling in front of Twilight as she puts her treacherous lips on his.
>Your breath immediately leaves you and is replaced with dread and anger.
>H-how could she?!
>She knew you liked Anon, that h-hussy!
>Anon was your human!
>Fueled by your sudden anger, you rush out from your hiding spot and charge the traitorous alicorn.
>You skid to stop before them, poised to strike.
>At this moment, Twilight opens her eyes to look directly at you.
>She smiles, oblivious to the imminent danger to her.
>"Oh, Fluttershy! I didn't see you there."
>Anon stands back up, looking at you with his usual annoyed expression.
>All this attention let's out some of the air in you but you push on regardless.
"B-back off my man, bi--"
>Anon lets a grunt of disgust, his gaze skyward.
>”Ah dammit, not again. You would take advantage of this. Whatever,lets get this over with."
>He suddenly grabs you by your sides and brings you at level with his face.
>The touch sends a lovely sensation through you.
"Oh my~."
>Before you can ask what he is doing, he plants a kiss on your lips.
>You go limp in his arms, your earlier anger forgotten.
>It only lasts a couple of seconds, but it felt like a lifetime to you.
>It was so wonderful. It was soft, unlike all the other times you've snuck kisses from Anon.
>Consensual kisses were the best.
>You give Anon the best bedroom eyes you can muster, while using your rear hoof to massage his crotch.
"Ehehe, how about a nice h-hoofjob?"
>He violently drops you onto your back, wiping the little saliva present on his lips.
>He leaves the library while mumbling angrily to himself.
>”Fucking Fluttershy.”
>Oh darn, you did it again.
>But that was unexpected. Wonder what came over him…
>While enjoying the afterglow, Twilight's face appears above you concern on her face.
>”Fluttershy, are you okay?”
"O-oh yes! I’m just fine."
>From your position you can see what had held Anon's attention earlier.
>Hoisted by a string on the ceiling, a small cluster of leaves and bright red berries hangs from the ceiling.
"Um, Twilight, what is that?"
>She follows your hoof to the mysterious ornament.
>"Oh! That's a mistletoe."
>With her magic, she brings it down before her.
>Her cheeks become rosy for some reason.
>”Anon told me a while ago of a holiday called Christmas that was similar to Hearth’s Warming Eve. One of its traditions was that whenever two people met under a mistletoe, they would kiss!"
>That was the reason they were...and you were about to tear into Twilight.
>How embarrassing.
"I thought it would make feel more at home, so I went to Zecora to collect them and gave them out to everypony in Ponyville. Speaking of..."
>Twilight suddenly leans her head down to give you a peck on the lips.
>Now you're both blushing.
>”Happy Hearth's Warming, Fluttershy!”
"H-happy Hearth's Warming..."
>Still reeling from what just happened, you try to focus back on the mistletoe.
"Twilight? You wouldn't have another one of those, would you?"
>"Sure! I have plenty leftover."
>From the nearby desk, a mistletoe magically floats over and land in your hooves.
"Thank you."
>You grip the plant closer to your chest, a conspiratorial smile on your face.
>This might not be Anon's fetish but it'll do for now.
>You tug the twine around the mistletoe one final time, guaranteeing that it'll hold.
>Backing off, you inspect the plant hoisted above the door.
>Satisfied that it's secure, you take your place on Anon's front porch.
>To calm your nerves you start to preen yourself.
>Have to look nice for your monkey man.
>Confident you look your best, you knock on the door.
>Anon always answered the door when you knocked, despite his protests for you to stop.
>It's what tells you he's just waiting for you to guess his fetish.
>But today there would be no fetishes.
>Just his sweet, tender lips on yours.
>Your cheeks grow warm at the thought.
>Sounds from within catches your attention away from your fantasies.
>He's coming!
>With one last look at the mistletoe, you pucker your lips and close your eyes in anticipation.
>The sound of the door opening makes you even more tense.
>Silence is all that greets you but you're too nervous to open your eyes.
>Eventually though, you feel the warmth of Anon's breath spread across your muzzle.
>Before you can get lost in the sensation, he captures your lips in a intimate kiss.
>A spark shoots down your spine all the way to your nethers.
>You lightly moan as you press deeper into the kiss.
>It's as good as you remembered.
>Yet, it was somehow different from yesterday.
>His lips *were* sweet!
>Too sweet.
>Almost like cotton can--
>"Mmmm, butterscotch!"
>Your eyes snap open to reveal big blue eyes.
>You backpedal away, landing on your haunches with an audible wet sound.
>Mercifully, the mare before you doesn't notice as she giggles to herself.
>Finally finding your voice, you stammer out in surprise.
"P-P-Pinkie?! What are you doing here? Where's Anon?"
>"Weeeeell~, I was on my way to Sugarcube Corner but I suddenly to go to the bathroom really BAD because me and Rainbow Dash were drinking egg nog all day because I wanted to test out some new recipes that I made for the party tonight. Anon's house was close so I thought I could use his. Problem was, he was already on his way out to go see Rarity but he said I could still use it as long as I locked the door on my way out."
>With a flick of her prehensile tail, she closes the door with a click.
>"And I just did!"
>It takes you a few seconds to pick out the important information out of all of that, but when you do you come to your hooves quickly and trot off in the direction of the Carousel Boutique.
>The pink mare waves at your retreating form.
>"Okay, see ya tonight!"
>Before Pinkie can hop on her way to the bakery, something leads her gaze above her.
>Twisting her neck, she looks up at the mistletoe dangling before the door fame.
>"Oooh, what's that?"
>Your frantic gallop quickly brings you to the home and business of your friend.
>There was no sign of Anon on your way over here, which means he must be inside by now.
>You slow to a stop as you get to the front door of the boutique.
>The thought to set up the mistletoe over the door crosses your mind but you immediately discard it.
>You didn't want a repeat of last time.
>The chime above the door announces your entrance to the dressmaker within.
>Tools of her trade weave and bob around her head in a magical dance, filling the boutique with a low hum of activity.
>Without turning to look at you, Rarity speaks up in a professionally pleasant tone.
>"Welcome to the Carousel Boutique! If you can just wait a moment I'll--Oh, Fluttershy!"
>After releasing the implements from her grasp, she gives you more of a genuine smile.
>"What brings you here today, darling?"
"Hello, Rarity..."
>A quick glance around the foyer yields no sign of your lovemonkey.
"Did Anon happen to come by?"
>"Why yes, he did! He's in the back trying on some new outfits I made for him."
>She pouts in annoyance.
>"I would be helping him but he insisted on doing it himself. What a silly colt."
>She drops the pout to smile back at you.
>"Did you want to see him?"
"Yes! I mean, no..."
>You hide behind your mane, a slight blush on her cheeks.
>Rarity raises an eyebrow in confusion.
>Checking the room one more time, you approach Rarity and speak in a hushed tone.
"Did Twilight tell you about mistletoes?"
>Rarity rolls her eyes at the memory of the hour-long seminar the alicorn had held.
>"Quite extensively. Why do you ask?"
"W-well, Anon always kisses whoever he's under it with...and I l-like Anon..."
>You trail off, leaving the implications hanging in the air.
>Rarity's eyes light up in realization.
>Rarity looks back at you with brow scrunched in an expression edging close to pity.
>The awkward silence starts to makes you regret coming here.
>You feel whatever courage you had leave you in a rush.
>You try to turn in retreat but a comforting hoof stops you.
>"No, no dear. It's alright!"
>"Of course! I know you're not the most...daring mare when it comes to courting. This little exercise could actually help give you some confidence! Tell you what..."
>Rarity adopts a conniving grin as she leans into you, whispering.
>"When Anon comes from out the dressing room, I'll lure him under the mistletoe. When he's distracted, I'll signal you and you can claim your prize."
>A small smile graces your face at the support that Rarity is giving you.
>You can feel your courage come crawling back in.
>Rarity holds out a hoof for you.
>"Now, hand me your mistletoe before he comes."
>Excited, you go to retrieve your mistletoe but freeze as something finally dawns on you.
>The mistletoe!
>In your haste to catch Anon, you had left it back at his house.
>There's no way you can get it back before Anon leaves.
>You start to go into one of your panic attacks, your breathing becoming strained.
>You're about to break down into hysterics when your cheeks are suddenly smushed together.
>"Calm down, Fluttershy! You can just use the one that Twilight gave me."
>You blush, slightly embarrassed.
"Oh...thank you."
>"Keep it. I have no need for such things."
>She flips her mane, a slightly smug smile on her face.
>You go to respond but a shout from the back cuts you off.
>"Hey Rarity, I'm done!"
>Rarity quickly shoos you toward the mannequins by the far wall.
>You scramble to get into position as Rarity levitates the mistletoe above her out of sight.
>Anon comes strolling into the foyer, a stack of folded clothes held in his arms.
>"So did they fit? Not too tight, I hope?"
>He grins widely at her.
>"Nah, they fit perfectly. Thanks Rare, I appreciate it."
>"No problem at all, Anonymous. Designing outfits for your unique physique has been a compelling challenge. Now, let me get those packaged for you."
>Rarity magics the bundle out of Anon's hands and into a bag that she leaves hovering near her, well out of his reach.
>Anon only raises an eyebrow at this before walking to her and grabbing it out of the air.
>He voices his gratitude once again before turning toward the door but Rarity makes him stop.
>"Oh Anon, darling? Before you go..."
>He follows her pointing hoof to the mistletoe levitating over them.
>His face droops into a flat look as he stares at the ornament.
>An exasperated sigh rips from him.
>"You too, huh?"
>Unbeknownst to Anon, Rarity urgently beckons to you with a hoof.
>This is it!
>Keeping your eyes on Anon, you try to step out backwards from behind the mannequin into Anon's blind spot.
>Snapping your head around, your face is set upon by a flurry fangs and claws.
"Ahh, Opal?!"
>The cat, tail crumpled and fur standing on end, hisses at you angrily as she scratches at your face in retaliation for stepping on her tail.
>The pain from the swipe sends you stumbling into the group of mannequins, which bumps into the shelves filled with the bolts of cloths, causing them to fall from their perch.
>Your frightened yelp is cut off short as you're buried under an avalanche of brightly colored garments.
>Rarity takes a step in the direction of the pile, face wrought with concern.
>"Oh dear, Flut--!"
>Anon stops Rarity's rescue attempt by grasping her chin his hand.
>"Uh-uh, let's finish this first."
>Leaning down he smooches her on the lips.
>Her eyes pop open in shock, her cheeks reddening into a blush.
>You manage to untangle yourself enough from the mess to pop your head out.
>You whimper in dismay at his kiss being stolen again.
>Anon from disconnects from Rarity with obvious disinterest.
>"Alright, see you later Rarity. AJ needs my help for something."
>He walks out of the boutique with his bag in hand, grumbling to himself.
>Rarity remains frozen in space as she just stares into the distance.
>Eventually though, she's able to snap out of it and comes trotting toward you.
>Her horn lights up as the various clothes and mannequins are raised off of you.
>Opal comes scurrying out first, huffing in anger.
>"I'm so sorry Fluttershy! Are you alright?"
>You groan in pain and misery.
"It's not your fault..."
>You're the one that messed up.
>A handkerchief comes toward your face and wipes away at the tears threatening to overflow.
>"Come dear, please don't cry. It's not all lost! You can still catch him."
>You sniffle as you look up at her.
"I can?"
>"Yes! He said Applejack needed him. That means he'll definitely end up going to Sweet Apple Acres. That'll be your chance to swoop in and get the jump on him."
>Rarity looks up at the mistletoe above her, looking like she's considering something.
>Before you can react, she leans down to you and pecks you on your lips.
>You blink in surprise at the unexpected action.
>"A kiss for good luck. Now, go get him darling!"
>You quickly get to your hooves, snatching the mistletoe from the air as you gallop out of the store.
>Don't want to make that mistake again.
"Thanks Rarity!"
>Rarity licks her lips, humming as she tastes the lingering flavors of her friends on them.
>She chuckles to herself before getting to work on fixing the mess you made.
>"Perhaps these mistletoes aren't so bad..."


More later.
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I bring you the latest in the continuing adventures of He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria!

>"There you go, now eat up Mr Bear so you'll grow big and strong."
>*bear noises*
>"Oh, yes, I'm sorry, you're already big and strong but you still need to eat up."
>Spike was right, you did need to get out of the treebrary.
>And helping fluttershy feed the animals is surprisingly relaxing.
>Well so much for that idea.
>Stupid, crazy, butterbrained Anon
>And there he is striding towards us with his taught, rippling muscl--- and staring right at Mr Bear.
>"Oh I'm sorry Anon but Mr Bear can't come play today" *Squeak*
>Oh Fluttershy, if talking worked Anon wouldn't still be doing his He-Anon thing with his well toned ass.
>"I'm afraid I have to insist Anon, Mr Bear has had the flu and I must put my hoof down" Fluttershy gently taps the ground with her hoof.
>"Anon listen to Fluttershy, Mr Bear can't play today"
>Anon moves towards Mr Bear anyway, you have to do something and it's about time someone put Anon and his hairy masculine pecs in their place.
>*pew pew horse magic lazor noises*
>Stupid Anon and his skimpy loincloth with a huge well placed buldge that promises untol----
>Anon runs away back towards Ponyville, the muscles in his luscious legs flexing as he moves... I mean stupid Anon.

Mr. Universe get a look at those 42" biceps
This seems like a dangerous man to be around town during Nightmare Night.

>A soothing voice calls to you in a dream.
>It sounds familiar.
>You want to go to it for some reason.
>”...and remember that time when…”
>The words drift in and out of your understanding, but the voice…
“Celestia?” you mumble.
>It’s so bright out. Is it morning?
>”You’re awake,” comes the voice again.
>You crack your eyes open and peer into the bright morning...lamp.
>”Nurse, go inform the others.”
“What others? Where am I?”
>As your eyes adjust to the light, shapes begin to form.
>The person next to you is in fact not who you thought they were in your sleepy stupor.
“Oh, it’s you, John.”
>”Well we can’t all be six foot tall pony deities.”
>”Quite,” you grumble and try to sit up.
>There’s a dull throbbing sensation in your chest which John promptly places his hand against.
>”Slow down there, slugger. You need your rest.”
“Rest? Where am I?”
>He gestures to a plain yellow wall with but a small blue chair in front to add flare.
>”This tacky wallpaper isn’t enough for you?”
“The hospital?”
>Your eyes travel around the room.
>Aside from that chair and a trash bin in the corner of the room, there’s nothing else here.
>Why the devil would you be here?
>All you were doing was--
>Oooooh ok.
>It all comes back to you now.
>The fight with Tirek.
>Your ride to Hooverpool and back.
>The meeting in the control room.
>Your complete lack of buzz during it all.

>”You had quite the week, didn’t you?”
“You have no idea. In fact, I’d like to fill the whole council in on it. Could you fetch them for me?”
>”They’re already on the way. I figured you’d have something important to say when you woke up and also that you’d ignore my pleas for you to relax.”
“You know me so well,” you say with a smile.
>He nods and grabs your hand, giving it a squeeze.
>You look on his face now.
>He seems tired. He’s worn out, and there’s a dull sheen in his eyes where a bright light used to be.
>You can’t quite tell if it’s simply age rearing its ugly head or something else.
>”I know you far too well. I know you’re going to become obsessed with this like you become obsessed with everything.”
“Oh,” you chuckle dismissively. “I think you’re over exaggerating a bit.”
>He shakes his head and pulls over that ugly little chair from the wall.
>A heavy sigh escapes him as he sits down.
>”When you were ten, you spent three weeks perfecting your half sword technique.”
“And it paid off, I’d say,” you boast.
>”Yes, well when you were fifteen, you wouldn’t leave the animal pens until you’d gotten all the wolves to be your friends.”
“A man should trust his steed.”
>”When you were twenty five, you spent two months reading every bit of history you could on the caribou before attending a peace conference.”
“Wouldn’t you do the same?”
>”You killed three dignitaries and permanently marred relations between our two races because they called your wolf fat.”
“We’d been friends since I was fifteen! And besides, you can hardly blame me for that. Innominate killed six. She was the rowdy one.”
>He chuckles lightly, but all too quickly the serious look returns.
>There’s a short pause before John speaks again.
I love the evolution of Twilight's responses to He-Anon. Keep this up, m80; it makes me laugh.

>”I saw the best parts of you die three years ago because you were too obsessed with revenge to see the monster you were becoming,” he says with a low voice.
>You look away from him and up to the ceiling.
>”I know you love your people, Anonymous, but whatever this is…”
>He lets go of your hand and leans back in the chair.
>There’s another sigh from him.
>You look over to see him cupping his hands around his face.
>He pulls them back, pulling his skin taut and fixing his hair.
>They reconnect behind his head and form a headrest.
>”I don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into, but knowing you, it’s probably bad. I just don’t want to see what little is left of the man I knew disappear. Don’t let this consume you, Anon.”
>Well gee, nice to drop this on you when you just woke up.
“John, thank you for your concern. It means a lot knowing I have a friend like you looking out for me.”
>You hold your hand out to him, not so much expecting anything in return as you are simply offering it.
>He looks at you long and hard before relenting and taking yours back into his again.
>He pats it gently and smiles.
>You can see something past that smile, though.
>It’s artificial.
“Look, if we’re going to discuss such heavy topics, at least let me do it with a bottle in my hands.”
>”What man is complete without his vices?”
“It is not a vice. It’s a hobby.”
>”I can think of better hobbies than stumbling around like a common beggar.”
“Is annoying me on that list?”
>”The very top. Nurse,” he shouts into the hall. “Fetch us some wine.”
“No, get the good stuff.”
>”Scratch that, he doesn’t want to see straight today. Get the whiskey.”
“You are really pressing your luck, mister.”
>”Would you rather I press on your chest?”
“Oh gods above, please don’t.”

>After a few short minutes of idle chat with your companion, there’s a knocking on the door.
>Those outside do not wait for your acknowledgement and enter on their own.
>Pseudonymous, all dolled up just for you, enters with his salon-style hair and flashy outfit.
>”Oh my king, I was so worried for you,” he cries.
>Worried he’d run out of a hole to shove his nose in, more like.
>If he were any farther up your ass, you could taste his hair.
>Behind him are Unattested and Whatchamacallit.
>”I come bearing gifts,” says Unattested as he unfurls his cape, revealing a bottle of whiskey nestled in the crook of his arm.
“I always knew you were my favorite.”
>Pseudonymous practically pushes John out of the chair in order to get a seat next to you.
>”Oh you simply must tell us. How was your journey? What did you see? Where is that coarse soldierboy you took with you?”
“Calm yourself. First, we drink.”
>Unattested hands you the bottle and steps back.
>”Actually, the wife has been on me lately. I’m off alcohol for now.”
>”And that brand is too strong for me. I’ll stick to my wines, thank you,” says Whatchamacallit with a bow of his head.
>The man in the chair reaches for the bottle in your hands.
>”I’ll share a drink with you.”
“You don’t get one,” you snap and yank the bottle out of his range.
>Children shouldn’t be drinking, after all.
>Ooh, nice one. You’ll save that for later.
>You have a little inward laugh and open the bottle, savoring the scent.
>You slowly bring the thing to your lips and tip it back, letting the contents flow into your mouth.
>It stings like a bastard and scorches your throat on the way down.
>How you missed that.
>You pull it away after a second or two and shake as the sensation runs through your system.
>Who needs a lover when you have this magical concoction?
>With a happy sigh, you turn back to your audience.

>They all seem very unsurprised by your actions.
>They’re used to your show by now, considering you’ve done it every council meeting.
>Also during most of your time off.

>You explain to them the happenings in the forest in as much detail as you can.
>It’s hard to recount Garland’s death.
>As you do so, you can’t help but wander back to your time together in the war.
>He was always so eager to take part in everything back then.
>Even afterwards when you didn’t think he’d keep in touch, he was close by, pushing himself into your life.
>He pushed right into this expedition. He pushed into that battle with Tirek and…
>”It’s not your fault,” Whatchamacallit consoles you.
>”He was always headstrong. It just finally caught up to him.”
>Even so, it’s still another light snuffed out by a monster.
>A monster that slipped through your fingers.
>Anyway, where were you?
>Though the whiskey makes your thoughts a little foggy, you’re able to get through the rest of the story with only a twenty percent margin of error.
>Pseudonymous is the first to respond, of course.
>”How brave you were to face such a creature. Surely we can find a way to stop it once and for all.”
>”Before we get too far into this, I need to ask. Anonymous, are you even sure this happened?” says Unattested, speaking up for the first time since you began.
>”Are you sure you saw this monster? That you weren’t simply drunk off your heels and saw something else?”
>Dunk off your...of course not!
>What kind of man do they take you for?
>There’s a fine line between enjoying a drink in your off time and actively impairing your senses on kingly missions.
“How dare you!”
>”He has a point,” adds Whatchamacallit, pointing to your bottle.
“I hadn’t had one sip of the stuff in two days prior to the battle. I was sober that entire expedition!”

>”Except for your stay in Hooverpool, according to your story.”
“That was long after the fact. How do you explain my injuries? The death of all those men--of Garland! You think some average forest hermit could cut down a warrior like him?”

>”Garland was years out of his prime even before the war. We both know that. He was merely clutching to a youth that was long gone.”
>”Do you think maybe you’d slipped one little bottle into your bags, and in a stupor, only saw what you wanted to see during the fight?”
“No! No I most certainly do not! You doubt me?”
>”Look, I just can’t see how any monster could have possibly survived Falling Grace. It just seems more likely that you...imagined it. You know, trying to reconnect with your glory days?”
>Glory days?
>That Hell is your glory?
“There are lives on the line out beyond our walls, and you want to sit here and question the validity of my story because of a fucking hobby?”
>”Look, Anonymous, the only thing we’re questioning is how much money it’s going to take to follow through with your plans. If this just turns out to be a fluke…”
“Money?” you shout. “You’re concerned with money?”
>”Of course we are! Do you think a kingdom runs on good will?”
>”All these walls and all these trenches for something we’re not even sure exists?”
“It does exist! I just told you it did! I saw it, Unassigned saw it! It killed my friend--your friend! Does this mean nothing to you?”
>”Calm down,” says Pseudonymous soothingly, laying a hand on your shoulder.
>You push him off, knocking him out of the chair and stumbling back.
“I will not calm down! I seem to be the only one who understands what’s going on here!”
>”You’re the only one here drunk.”
“It was only half a bottle, I’m not drunk yet!”

>”A you’d be even more rational if you were. Right? That’s the only explanation I can give as to why you choose to be in a perpetually sorry state like that.”
“Get out! Out, all of you!”
>They refuse to move, bringing your hot blood to a boil.
>In a fit, you throw your bottle of whiskey across the room, shattering it against the wall.
“Get out!”

>They relent and leave slowly, closing the door gently behind them.
“Unbelievable. To think those bastards...I’m the one who made them who they are! I took them in. I thought they were good, that they could help, but they just want money! I should have known!”
>You bring your hand to your mouth, expecting to take a drink.
>When it slaps against your face, you suddenly remember you’d thrown your bottle into the wall.
“Oh, King Anonymous, you were just drunk. You’re always drunk, King Anonymous. Look at me, I’m so smart! I never had to make any sacrifices, so I’m in a perfect position to play with people’s lives so long as I line my own pocket! You bastards!”
>The nerve of them!
>Honestly, if you wanted to be belittled, you’d just kill yourself and let Innominate torment you for all eternity.
>Suddenly, a cough rings throughout the room.
>It echoes in your ears, and your face heats up more than it already was.
>You crane your neck to see John still there, standing in the corner of the room.
>His arms are crossed and he looks at you with his eyebrows raised.
>”Having fun there?”
“John. How much of that did you see?”
>”All of it, I’m afraid. You know, you’re really good at the whole bipolar act. You could go into theater if this king thing doesn’t work out.”
“Oh piss off. I don’t need you calling me a worthless drunk too.”
>”When did I ever imply I thought such?”
>You double take at that.
“You mean you actually believe me?”

>He walks over to the toppled chair and lifts it back up.
>Taking a seat next to your bed, he leans over and rests on his arms.
>”For all your faults, you’ve never given me a reason to doubt you before. Yes, Anonymous. I believe you.”
>You stare into his eyes long and hard.
>Even with your slightly blurred vision, you can still make out his flat face.
“You don’t think what they said is true? That I just slipped a bottle into my bag and imagined the monster in my drunken state? That devoting resources to fight it would be a waste of money?”
>”I don’t believe that for a second. This Tirek character, whoever he is, you saw him. The others are right when they say kingdoms run on money, but what use is a kingdom when all the people are dead? If you think these fortifications are necessary, I say go for it.”
>You never imagined how good it would feel to have one person believing in you.
>It’s such a small thing and yet...you feel so justified.
>”However, I do think we need a more permanent solution. If our tools can’t stop it, then what about Equestrian magic?”
>You almost spit in his face laughing.
“Magic? What, are we going to dabble in necromancy and bring back some unicorn to cast a spell on Tirek?”
>”No, you fool. Canterlot Castle yet stands. Its library should hold the key to defeating Tirek, shouldn’t it?”

Now I'm legit out of green. Everything from this point on is virgin, unwritten territory. Let's see how it unfolds another time.
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I'm interested in reading further, but this chapter really took a hit to the suspension of disbelief. I know that Anon's council was pissy with him for not listening, but this outright denial of Anon's story seems absurdly out of place.

Its been two years since the big genocide, yeah? It almost sounds like its been two years since any large loss of life had even occurred. For your king to come back, alone, and tell you that everyone else is dead to the hands of a monster - shouldn't this be the very thing you've dreaded to hear for two years? I'm basically having to ride on the concept that Anonymous managed to get the shillest of shillers to be his councilmen if I'm not outright going to place them as Tirek supporters. He got the shittiest council, he didn't listen to them, he drank, and generally tried to ignore his entire past.

That really does paint him as a shit king who's only good with a sword, which helps with the idea of his council being so unbelieving, but dam. The only way for this to feel solid is for me to believe my protagonist is absolute shit at his own job, which makes him rather unlikable. Makes it harder for me to care about what happens. Guess I'll have to see if I care more or less after another chapter.
That's a big pone
Out of curiosity, has anyone read What's Love Got to Do with It on fimfiction?

Judging by the word count, it looks like it fits in the same bracket as War and Peace and Les Miserables.
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>What's Love Got to Do with It
Nigga please.


1.85 million words and still going. You want to talk autism, go full autism.
>1.85 million words
Oh. It gets better. Not only is it, let's say it again because it's hilarious and wrong and fun, 1.85 million words and counting, it's 1.85 million words of a fanfic that is right about on par with HP's My Immortal. Diary is a bit more edgelord and less self-insert fapbait.

Go read it.

I fucking dare you.
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Careful, friends.

Word count is, by a large margin, the worst correlating figure with story quality. It is generally the direct result of a writer being unable to create a new venue for his ideas, and instead, piling it on pre-existing content. Sometimes this is due to financial reasons, like a lack of ability to sell new intellectual product. Other times, it is out of fear or disinterest in writing in a different venue.

Consider how the expected size of a novel has changed over time, and more importantly, the fact that online novel content is generally released chapter by chapter. The writer is in far more control of when to stop or how long to extend. I wouldn't be surprised to find lengths of story becoming inconsequential to the overarching scheme, stories wrapped in a story, as it were. You could say I'm being butthurt about people not letting a story die and that they should just "have their fun", but I've seen plenty of literary works harmed by it.

Some real world examples, perhaps? 2001: A Space Odyssey, is generally considered a fantastic book and movie interpretation. The lesser known 2010: Odyssey Two was received warmly and given a lesser movie deal. 2061: The Third Odyssey, had less book circulation, no movie deal, and began perverting themes and content of the original stories (2010 itself was a sequel of the movie and not the 2001 book). 3001: The Final Odyssey, brought back a dead character from 2001 as the main character, effectively shat on all the canon of the past books, and dealt with themes completely inconsistent with previous norms of the story. By that point, only extreme fans were still in circulation, and the project seemed largely for monetary purposes.

So all I'm saying, kiddos, is long doesn't mean good. Sometimes, it means very, very much the exact opposite.
Literally my favorite fanfic of any fandom. Have reread 3 times during sabbaticals between new chapters.
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>Diary is a bit more edgelord and less self-insert fapbait
I don't think anyone was insinuating that the referenced stories were worth a shit. The way I read it, it sounded like>>25970622 was bagging on it.
Your taste is indescribably shitty. That is easily the sorriest thing I have read on this board this year.

Eh, just in case. Gotta scare the little chillun's into staying away from bad storehs.
Ha, so much for that perfect empire.
So glad I'm not a teenager anymore.
Wasn't this some shit edgelord story about a faggot who got called "Anon" later in it to try and get it in these threads? Biggest ass pull I've ever seen.
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It's this comment that makes me hesitate.

>This is going to be an unpopular opinion here, but holy shit, the main character in this is such an insufferable jackass. He's constantly bombarded by mares trying to get in his pants even though he's a relentlessly pessimistic and self pitying asshole who's openly disgusted by the idea, to an insulting degree.

That sounds fucking terrible.
The whole story, "story," is nothing but asspull and wank. I'll give him points for persistence, but my Chili's chips and salsa shits have more narrative cohesion and thematic density than Diary.
Read it if you're a masochist.

Read it if you want to see how fandom can go Kathy Bates in Misery.

Read it if you want to feel good about writing something small, tight and well plotted.

But don't read it thinking it'll be a pleasant experience. At its best, it's a dry sodomization by Tyrone. At worst, it's much much worse.
Oh god, i favorited that and was 20 chapters in..
I only got in 5 chapters in diaries of a madman
>Chili's chips and salsa
Those are great.

>Chili's chips and salsa shits
I've cleared out a house with those. A big house, too. Like, around 3000sqft.
>Literally my favorite fanfic of any fandom. Have reread 3 times during sabbaticals between new chapters.

What's Love Got to Do with It?
What is love?
I feel like I vaguely remember your name. What did you write again?
Baby don't hurt me
I love those two, and the how to court an alicorn

Baby don't hurt me

You know, at least he's being honest with the title. Can't say you didn't know what you signed up for.
Don't hurt me.
What's love but a second hand emotion
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>What's Love Got to Do
>Check fimfiction
>544,990 word count

>He's constantly bombarded by mares trying to get in his pants even though he's a relentlessly pessimistic and self pitying asshole who's openly disgusted by the idea

So you're saying this is half a million words; longer than Great Expectations, Oliver Twist, and a Tale of Two Cities combined, worth of avoiding horse pussy?

>1.85 million

I'm trying to come up with some kind of mental reference for that, but I can't even begin to wrap my head around it. Does not compute.

Think Robert Jordan Wheel of Time series.
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Yes, that is what it is.
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forgot image. this is what about 2 million words looks like.
>Think Robert Jordan Wheel of Time series.
Yeah, but WoT has more amusing sex and gender stereotypes than GoT. Though, in its defense, GoT has more food porn than anything else I've ever read.

Fucking PAGES about venison and leek soup.
I don't know what wheel of time is
Sirs, let our argument not become more autistic than the subject itself which started said discourse.
Fair enough.

Speaking of autistic, anyone know anything about the author? I seriously hope he's getting a disability pension
you know everything bad about AiE that people outside of AiE say about AiE?
Put it all into a ball and you've got Nav.
Anyone remember Pale Narrator?
>Anyone remember Pale Narrator?

Of course. Did anyone save his pastebin before it got nuked?

Yup. Any idea what he's up to now?

Well said. Another literary series that turned to shit as more books were added? Frank Herbert's Dune. "Dune Messiah" and "Children of Dune" showed declining quality. From about 4th book on, it became clear that Frank was really more interested in writing cheap smut than science fiction.

inb4 ">>>/lit/"

Found some archives if anyone wants to read some stories.

Hate it when pastebin nukes stuff for no reason.
>>>25972102 (You)
>Found some archives if anyone wants to read some stories.
>Hate it when pastebin nukes stuff for no reason.

Wait, pastebin itself deletes stuff?
No, would like to at the very least know if he is still alive.

The first 100 AiE were awesome.
I dont know how pastebin works but one day while remembering a few writers i checked pastebin out and found nothing. Was gonna download them too for archiving since i at the time had a small NAS dedicated to this stuff.
>Anyone remember Pale Narrator?

>Yup. Any idea what he's up to now?

>No, would like to at the very least know if he is still alive.

Judging by how suddenly he disappeared, pretty sure he's trying his damndest to forget he ever wrote cartoon pony erotica.
unless you have the links you cant access them or am i wrong?
Does anyone know any Twilight and Anon stories that are cozy, cute, and lewd? Links to pastebins would be appreciated.
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>>>25972584 (You)
>Was gonna download them too for archiving since i at the time had a small NAS dedicated to this stuff.

I hoard a lot of stuff for that reason now; double and triple backing up stories and pictures.

sorry, not at the computer to check my folders.

He also had a soundcloud where he put stuff up.


I think it has also been abandoned.
Please, help me get cozy....
>no buttquest
You're missing out, anon

I think a lot of writers have a moment of self-realization that they've been writing about a green dude fucking pastel ponies from a kids show.

That's why pastebin is littered with 70k or 80k long stories that were abandoned overnight.
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Rock of love
Oher threads i forgot to visit
>>no buttquest
>You're missing out, anon

Buttquest? Evidently I missing out too
>writing about a green dude fucking pastel ponies

Eh, it's a pleasant enough diversion for a while, but yeah, it's not something I'd rather spend the rest of my life doing.
Is anyone dumping? No? Well, I guess I can give you all some new green then. Hope you like it.
>You be Anon, innaquestria
>You've been living in the town called Ponyville for about two years now.
>Most of your time was spent sleeping and trying desperately to do an art.
>There were no computers, TVs, or even internet here
>Which means that you couldn't spend your time shitposting on the internet.
>You kinda missed it.
>Especially since it meant jerking off to actual porn.
>Here, you had to take pictures with an old ass camera and try to jack off to that.
>Keyword being "Try."
>The ponies here in town didn't bother you too much
>Besides the purple one with wings and a horn.
>She would come and gripe every other day about how you, "needed to be more sociable."
>One of these days, you would greet her at the door with a butcher knife.
>If you had a butcher knife.
>Since you were an alien monkey thing, the ponies decided not to trust you with anything sharp.
>That damned purple pony probably told them about how you hurled numerous insults and curses every time she knocked at your door.
>And how you made sure that she knew that flipping someone off was a disrespectful thing in your culture.
>None of the other ponies bothered you, though.
>In fact, some were even helpful.
>Some of the citizens of this town pitched in, against purplecunt's will, to help build you a house.
>You still live in it today, of course.
>It was a nice-sized villa out on the edge of the town.
>You could still walk to the town square within ten minutes, but you were far enough away from town that you weren't bothered.
>You just wished that the purple one's tree castle wasn't right next door.
>There was also a white pony who would deliver some groceries every week.
>She never spoke, and she always had somewhat loud dubstep on in her headphones.
>But she always delivered about $100 dollars worth of food, every week.
>Without fail.
>You always made sure to say thank you and give her a warm smile before she left.
>You didn't ask her to do this
>But she did it anyways.
>You check your calendar
>It is Wednesday, my dudes.
>White Pone delivers groceries today.
>Thank god, because all you have left are two rotten tomatoes.
>There's also that watermelon that you jizzed in, but you're not gonna eat that.
>As you think about how hungry you are, you decide to take out your 53rd drawpad this week.
"What to draw..."
>You decide to draw a steak.
>This turns out to be a bad idea, as your stomach lets out a loud roar.
>You missed Steak.
>You missed Red Meat.
>Hell, you even miss Fish and Fried Chicken.
>Not eating meat for two years really makes a man depressed sometimes.
>You shudder and try not to think about how you'll never eat meat as long as you're here.
>What to draw...
>A Watermelon.
>No, a cherry.
>A cherry...
>grinch grin.gif
>You wonder why you didn't think of this before...
>Draw your own pone pr0nz!
"Anon, You're A FUCKING GENIUS!"
>Two minutes later...
"Wow this is fucking shit I can't even draw my own porn what the fuck am I going to do?"
>The drawing looked like a poorly drawn chimpanzee attached via an umbilical cord to some blob with headphones, glasses, and a horn.
>Sometimes your drawings were so bad that you wanted to fucking kill yourself.
>Oh well.
>After laying down on your couch for a while, you think about what you're doing with your free time.
>You've been grappling with the idea of writing instead of trying to draw.
>You then tell yourself what you usually do at the thought of exchanging drawing and writing.
>Your stories would probably be just as bad as your "art."
>Good god you needed something to do.
>You were starting to sound like some emo high schooler.
>And you weren't even talking.
>Regaining your wits, you walk to the courtyard.
>The fact that you have a goddamned courtyard baffles you sometimes.
>Sitting down in the lone lawn chair, you check the time.
>But I just sat down.gif
>White pone was supposed to get here pretty soon.
>You go stand at the door and wait for your groceries to get there.
>All the while thinking about Earth.
>Your life back home.
>You kinda miss it.
>But at the same time, fuck that place.
>Yes, there were some good times that you'll never get to have in Equestria.
>But at the same time, the city you lived in was teeming with people with sticks up their asses.
>Best to forget about them.
>The door rings, and you open it to find your groceries.
>She's walking away, so you make sure to holler out a thank you.
>As usual, she nods and turns the corner to head into town.
>God, you're lonely.
>You stoop down to collect your food for the week, when you spot something at the bottom of the pile of stuff.
>It's a ticket to something.
>Examining it closer, you find that it's for a special orchestra group performance.
>You didn't know that they had orchestra here...
>You should go to more events sometime.
>Further examining the ticket, you find that the performance is tomorrow.
>How perfectly convenient.
>You put the ticket aside and sort through your groceries.
>Amongst them, you find a tuxedo.
"Wait, what the hell?"
>You sure didn't expect this to happen.
"How the hell did she manage to find a tuxedo that would fit me?"
>Seeing as this could be somewhat useful, you try it on.
wait for it...
>It fits to perfection.
"How? How?!?!?! HOW!??!?!?!?!??!??!?!??!?!?"
>Deciding not to question it for now, you get to the rest of the items that the helpful mare brought you that week.
And that's all, folks! Stay tuned for the next one!
not like you're gonna leave this place or anything...
pastebin links below:
Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe.
I've had Una Nota Dolce (http://pastebin.com/u/MisterElGuapo)recommended several times, what's the correct order for reading it? I've heard conflicting advise that parts of it aren't related & a half-hearted sequel to avoid.

Looking at it I'm thinking its Una Nota Dolce 1-13, with the following chapters not really a part of the main story?

Also, for anyone who followed ElGuapo, how are Broken Wings & Second Chances? Looks like Broken Wings was finished, not sure about Second Chances.
Broken Wings is great senpai, definitely would recommend.
Second Chances, though, I've not read.
Una Nota Dolce 1 - 13 are canon
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>Broken Wings is great senpai, definitely would recommend.

You're a good man, and thorough (A Dashie story I assume?).

> Una Nota Dolce 1 - 13 are canon

Excellent, that clears it up
prepare yourself for the feels
i actually cried
Actually... Appuljeck kinda gets into the story a bit, if I remember correctly. Anon can't get his... woah wait I'm giving too much away.
actually, the story is about apple horse
>just as I start reading it
yes, anon. It partially is.
I've forgotten some of the keks I had reading this one.
>just as I start reading it
then you should drink a lot of water because you will need it for the tears
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appreciate it, I'll add it & Una Nota Dolce to my queue & archive. Not sure about Second Chances, haven't seen an indication it was finished.

Not sure about anything else in his bin either
I know anon, I know. I'm rereading it, that's all.
i would re-read it but i can carry all of these feels
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Pale nuked his bin? Dam, I liked Drury Lane's first run. Listening to some of his old theme songs reminds me of some aie shit I forgot. After wall, who the fuck /is/ Zuul?
Anyone unlucky enough to rember drunken hearted?

I am. My heart hurts.
>Pale nuked his bin? Dam, I liked Drury Lane's first run. Listening to some of his old theme songs reminds me of some aie shit I forgot. After wall, who the fuck /is/ Zuul?

Someone had to have saved it
Anon has consistently proven his only real talents are fighting and taking pain like a man. All his plans fall apart almost instantly because he's retarded in practically every other field. Still I guess who needs a ruler that's actually good at their job as long as you have the physical embodiment of determination looking out for you?
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>cyoa's probably still around somewhere

Oh damn, didnt think anybody still remembered my name. But yes, around, just sadly not here.
I actually talk to Pale fairly often
He said that if he regrets nuking his bin, but I never asked why he did it in the first place.
He more or less had real life catch up with him and was forced to become a functioning member of society as far as where he is now.
I kinda enjoyed it until it went into the perma gender change to a female, fetish fuel, making Spike a love interest... that totally killed it for me.

Nav's older stuff such as "Pimp Rarity" was funny with the right amount of sexy.
we weren't correlating word count to quality, rather word count to autism. Martin and Jordan were mentioned to visualize what 2M words of autism looks like in print.
>we weren't correlating word count to quality, rather word count to autism. Martin and Jordan were mentioned to visualize what 2M words of autism looks like in print.

Exactly. And what took Jordan a lifetime, this guy has written it in less than 5 years. I'm not knocking it, it obviously brings happiness to a lot of people, but it's a screaming pile of autism.
Yup. Just because I've blown more loads jerking off than DiCaprio has fucking Giselle does not make my position more enviable.

In point of fact, quite the opposite.
>was forced to become a functioning member of society.

Understandable, it happens to all writefags.

Eventually even FlutterPriest will fade into the west.

>He said that if he regrets nuking his bin, but I never asked why he did it in the first place.

To write all he did, stories that meant a lot to his readers, and to just erase them.

That's a serious sign of regret, embarrassment, and just not giving a fuck about his readers.

>the main character in this is such an insufferable jackass. He's constantly bombarded by mares trying to get in his pants even though he's a relentlessly pessimistic and self pitying asshole who's openly disgusted by the idea, to an insulting degree.

Isn't Discord the main character, or at least Discord in another body?
a while back someone did a chrysalis cyoa where celestia got kidnapped, anyone remember who did it?
who are martin and jordan?
what is this gender change part of?

That correlation doesn't actually work either. How much has CWC written? Outside of trying to get the Social Security Administration to give him more money, I mean...
Wait you can get money for writefagging?
It's okay, keep going.
You too.
And you.
There used to be a whole industry based around paying for writefagging back before the internet made it obsolete.
They printed it out on paper, because they didn't have tablets back then.
>"Lyra, for the last time, there is no such thing as humans!"
>"But there is! Dont you see him? He's all around us." She panics looking side to side.
>She looks around at all the other ponies searching wildly before seeing you, magical human Anon dancing and shaking your butt.
"Ooga booga booga, where the white women at?"
>"AH! There he is!" She shouts pointing as BonBon and Berry look, and see nothing where you stand.
>They look back and shake their heads as BonBon narrows her eyes, "Lyra, come back when you're ready to act like an adult."
>They walk off as Lyra yells "But I AM an adult! He's right bucking there!"
>She cries to herself as you stand before her and dance in place as a small voice calls out to her, "Ah see him Lyra."
>Lyra sniffles and looks to the side to see Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo "Y.you do?"
>She nods with a smile before looking side to side and whispering "He's your imaginary friend right? Maybe he can play with mine."
>Lyra sighs and gets up sadly walking away, "Its ok, forget it." As she does, Sweetie Belle raises an eyebrow to Applebloom.
>”Are you stupid? He’s right there, wearing that ugly black suit.” Lyra stops in shock as Applebloom argues with Sweetie.
>”He’s not wearing a black suit, its obviously a clown costume.”
>Lyra dives in and pushes AB aside to grab Sweetie, “You can see him!? Like, REALLY see him!?”
>”Yeah, he’s right there, dancing.”
“Holy shit, she CAN see me.”
>”Yeah.” Sweetie says to you as Lyra shakes her.
>”You can HEAR him!?” Sweetie nods as Lyra hugs her tightly, “Oh thank you! Thank you! But..how? How can you see him and nopony else?”
>”I dun know.” Sweetie shrugs as AB thinks this over.
>”Hey, lets ask Twilight, she knows everythin.”
>Scootaloo jumps in “Yeah!”
>At the library, Lyra and Sweetie Belle sit on an examination table as Scoots and AB sit across the room looking as Twilight looks over them and reads assorted books, “Well, there is nothing medically causing you to see things that are not there. But..”
>”But what?” Lyra asks as she continues.
>”But there was one thing I found in my research of an old mares tale. Umm welllll…apparently humans were regarded as mythical creatures at one point, and…could only be seen and were actually drawn to uhh..vigin filly unicorns.”
>Sweetie Belle nods as Lyra looks forward crushed before hanging her head, “Oh, I see…” She waits a moment before looking at Twi, “Um, can you..?”
>”Huh? Oh, uh no, not at all, I uhh haha, when I met Flash and all.”
>”Oh..then I guess that explains why me and Sweetie can see him.” She sighs and slides off the table before trotting away angrily and muttering “THIS is what I get for saving myself for somep0ny special? Buck this, Im gonna go grab Big Mac and..”
>As she trots off, Sweetie looks at you and smiles “Hey, you wanna be my magical invisible friend?”
“Huh? Oh thanks for the offer, but I still got a mare to bother for now.”
>”Oh, ok. Find me when she finds Big Mac.” She smiles getting up and leaving with her friends as you stay there as Twilight cleans up.
>You smirk and look towards Twi.
“Flash huh? God damn liar.”
>Twilight slams a shelf closed and blushes “S.shut up! Its better than being the only virgin princess in Equestria!”
“Oh I wouldn’t say that, Luna’s in the forever alone club too.”
>Today was a reverse unicorn kind of day.
This is amusing on the surface and sad when you think about it. Good green, anon.
I'll unhide them. There's no reason for them to be hidden, I guess. I do want to take the story in a different direction in a re-write but that'll never happen.
Do you think Luna just starts crying when she sees Anon? He just reminds her of how alone she is after all.
>"Owowowowowowo! Stop dabbing so bucking hard Spike!"
>You flinched as Rarity dressed your wounds
"Rainbow, what did I tell you about swearing in front of Spike?" you growled, snapping at your herd mate. "You know that- Celestia dammit!"
>Rarity let out an amused giggle as you hissed in pain, putting the finishing touches on the bandage on your head
>It was the day after the absolute flank kicking that you had gotten the other day and BOY were you hurting
>Everything ached, you had welts from the tip of your bucking snout to the end of your tail, and your head hurt like a motherbucker
>The only solace that you had--even though it was more than a little petty-- was that you weren't the only one hurting today
>There were thirty other mares getting bandaged up by their herd mates
>Some of whom were probably getting a little chuckle at how you all acquired these wounds
>Just like Rarity here...
>Your wings twitch as Rarity began to wrap a gauze around your barrel, an amused smile on her face
>"Well, I hope that you've all learned your lesson, dearies," she said, obviously trying not to laugh. "Tartarus hath no fury like an angry stallion."
"Yeah, yeah, you keep laughing it up, Rarity," you muttered. "You'll be laughing when that crazy stallion comes back into town and beats YOU with a stick."
>THAT shut the overgrown marshmallow up, Rarity's nose scrunching up as she saw to your wounds
>Spike, who had been quiet this whole time, finally spoke up
>"I told you that he wanted to be left alone, Twi."
>Rainbow let out a string of profanities as he tied the bandage around her hoof up a little too tight
>"If you would have just listened to me none of this would have happened..."
>The hurt that came into his voice as he said this hits you in the gut, prompting you to get up from your stool to walk over to the little guy
>Though it feels like it takes a million years to walk the ten feet over to Spike eventually you do
>Wincing, you sat down in front of him
"You know what Spike? You were right," you tell the dragon, slowly wrapping a wing around him.
"I shouldn't have blown you off like that. It was wrong of me and I'm sorry for it."
>Though he still looked upset Spike leaned into your wing
>Wincing again you tightened your wing hug
>You know that Spike and Anonymous had somehow formed a friendship
>You knew that Spike didn't have very many stallion friends, and the ones that he did weren't very good influences
>And while Anon was usually the biggest dickhead in the world to you and most other ponies he treated your little brother like he was HIS little brother
>In turn Spike had latched onto the giant stallion
>That was one of the main reasons why you wanted Anonymous to stay in bucking town and not run around the forest like a wild man
>Wanting to get into those pants of his aside
>If he was around Spike a little more, being big and lumbering and angry like he always was, he might show Spike how to be a good--if slightly angry-- stallion that could look after himself
>With a look he'd keep a gold digging or power hungry mare from trying to snatch up your baby brother
>From what Spike told you Anonymous knew a heck of a lot about dragons, so he might be able to help him with the birds and the bees as well as dragon puberty
>You liked to think that you did pretty good for Spike
>But you were just a mare; a very busy mare that didn't know who to trust with Spike
>And while you didn't care for Anon all that much, especially with what happened the other day, you knew you could trust Spike with him
>But as of now the two barely interacted with each other
>Anonymous only came to town once or twice a month and when he came into town he usually didn't come to the library unless he needed a new book
>Spike wasn't getting the big, strong, supportive brother that he needed
>And, putting your selfish reasons aside, just think about Anon
>Living in a dangerous forest with nopony to talk to but the trees probably wasn't good for him
>And what if he got hurt in that forest and nopony was around to help him?
>Even if he was willing to die because he was being stubborn you weren't going to accept it
>He needed to interact with some ponies, he needed to be able to go to sleep in a safe, warm place
>He needed to be taken care of or at the very least he needed to be close enough so that you all could keep an eye out for him
>It didn't even matter if he found himself a herd or not (though that would have been great too), he just needed to come and live closer to civilization
>And since you contacted the other princesses hopefully they'd be able to either help you convince him or force him into see your point of view
>...But first you were still going to insist that Anon get punished for beating the horse apples out of all of you
>Twilight Sparkle ain't getting smacked around by no stallion without that stallion getting smacked back
>...Or at least brought to justice...
>"...I know that you just want to keep him safe, Twi, but Anon just wants to be left alone," the little dragon muttered
>You wrapped your wing a little tighter around him, nuzzling his cheek
"And what if he got hurt, Spike? What if he got sick and nopony was around to help him?" you asked as Spike let out a sigh. "I know that you might not agreed with what I was trying to do but it was for Anon's own good."
>...Celestia dammit does your bucking flank hurt...
>"I think I'll be the judge of that, Twilight."
>If you weren't so bucking hurt you would have jumped out of your fur as somepony stuck their muzzling into your ear and whispered those eight words
>But you were bucked up
>You had bruises on your bruises
>So, instead of jumping and yelling like a crazy pony, you slowly turned your head
>There, somehow standing in your living room, was both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna
>Your fellow princesses were right there and you hadn't gotten a warning so you could clean up the castle or get them tea and cakes or even--
>Princess Celestia, you teacher, giggled when she saw your expression
>"Now, now Twilight, there's no need to work yourself up. My sister and I aren't here with any official business."
>The white alicorn looked at your herd mates, who were bowing, in amusement
>"And there's no need to bow my little ponies. Please, stand up. Stand up!"
>Rainbow and Rarity does as she asked while you took a few deep breaths to calm yourself
>You didn't expect Luna and Celestia to come so quickly...
>And you might have been a little freaked out that they just APPEARED in your house...
>But this was good!
>Now you could nip this whole mess with Anon in the bud before it got any worse!
>A small, relieved smile works its way onto your face
"Thank goodness you're here, Princess. I had no idea what to do about all of this..."
>Celestia smiled
>"Luna and I are happy to help," she said, looking over to her sister, who nodded in agreement. "Now, Twilight dear, why don't you start from the beginning?"
>Be Celestia
>It had been quite some time since you and Luna had let yourselves in Twilight's home
>You, your sister, Spike, Twilight, and two of the other elements were seated comfortably in chairs as Twilight and the other girls told you all about what was going on
>Spike, ever the gentledrake, had gotten you tea, some cakes, and he had even went out and collected a few of the mares that Twilight had taken with her to collect Anonymous
>Both you and Luna had sat there listening to mare after mare tell the story of what happened for most of the morning
>Every single filly that was brought before you looked like she had walked through Tartarus during lunch time
>Bruises were common, as were welts
>A few mares were missing teeth and feathers
>And once or twice you had insisted that mare do to the hospital to get herself looked over
>But their voices were strong as they said what they needed to say
>Apparently Anonymous hadn't gotten along with your little ponies from the beginning
>After only a week he had left your ex-student's house, he had acquired an axe and a knife from somewhere, and had taken up residence in the Everfree, only coming into town once in a blue moon to get some supplies
>Every time he came into town he was aggressive to everypony that he talked to, he spoke only when he had to, and from what you gathered he was prone to threaten and snap at anyone that tried to be around him for any length of time
>All of this had come to a head when your student had gotten the bright idea of forcing Anonymous to live in town
>While you appreciate your old student's enthusiasm in helping others it wasn't hard to see that she had gone a little overboard
>While you agreed that something needed to be done with Anon forcing him to do something that he wasn't comfortable with or unwilling to do was NOT something that a Princess of Equestria should be doing
>After all of this nonsense was settled you were going to make sure that you spoke to her about that...
>That being said, after you had collect all of the testimonies-- including a rather passionate one from Spike defending Anon-- there was just one more thing you and your sister needed to do
>You had gotten one side of the story
>Now it was time to get the other
"Alright, Twilight. I do believe that my sister and I have heard enough."
>With a grunt you rose to your hooves, finishing the last sip of tea and taking another little bite out of a cake
>Your sister stood with you, an almost irritated look on her face
"Now we'll go and see what's got Anonymous in such a tissy."
>Your old student gulped, turning a shade paler
>"Are you sure that it's such a good idea for just the two of you to go?" she questioned. "What if he goes after you too?"
>"Then we shall answer his violence with violence of our own," Luna answered before you could open your mouth
>Your sister narrowed her eyes and snorted
>"If Anonymous thinks us easy prey than We shall be happy to show him otherwi--oof!"
"What my sister means to say is that we'll do our best to make sure that nopony is going to attack anypony else," you say as your sister rubs her side. "I'm sure that this is all some sort of horrible misunderstand that can be solved if everypony just sits down and talks to each other."
>"If the colt charges at us with a stick we are GOING to beat him with it, Tia," your little sister grumbled just loud enough for you to hear, glaring at you
>Unfurling a wing you cupped her face and all but forced her to turn toward the door
"Not in front of the children, Luna."
>Winking at your most trusted ex-student you turn and make your way to the door
>There was no need to teleport out of the castle
>You and Luna were in no hurry
>You'd have this solved by dinner time; there was no need to go rushing into the forest like a couple of crazy ponies
>You said hello to a few of your subjects as you made your way through the small little village
>You inspected and praised a few ponies wares
>Luna said hello to a few of the little ones and promised to play a game of tag with them after the two of you were finished
>And then, in what seemed like the blink of an eye, you and your sister found yourselves standing in front of the Everfree forest
>You couldn't help but shiver slightly as you gaze at the ancient vine and moss covered plants
>Long ago you had looked at this forest in wonder, and even after all of these years this wild place, this... FREE place was still able to make the fur on the back of your neck stand up
>It made you feel small
>Not many things were still able to do that
>Not many things at all...
>The majesty of the forest seemed lost on your sister however, as she was just looking around in disinterest
>"Where did thy student say that path to the human's house was?" she asked, brushing past you. "We recall that she said something about marked-- aw, there it is."
>Following your sister's gaze you see that one of the tree's had had the bark taken off of it
>The marks look deliberate, like somepony had done them with an axe
>Deeper into the forest there more trees in such a state
"It would be more difficult to see these marked trees in the winter but it's a very good idea," you say as you and Luna follow the "path" into the forest
>"Aye, tis not something that we would have thought of," Luna admitted, her ears perked for any signs of danger. "It appears that Anonymous has his head on straight. Odd for a stallion of this day and age."
>Surprisingly none of the Everfree's many creatures tried to attack you, making for the walk into the forest an almost pleasant one
>Many of the vines and plants that made walking in the forest difficult had been cleared, so the two of you didn't even have to cut your way through to get to the human's home
>And in a place like the Everfree, where some plants grew overnight, that was one heck of luxury
>Anonymous must have quite a bit of time on his hands if he was able to maintain this path of his...
>Eventually you could see smoke above the treeline and after a few more minutes of walking you came upon a clearing
>And the second you and Luna stepped out into the clearing you were greeted with one heck of a sight
>The clearing was massive, at least an acre or even two long and wide
>There was a massive wooden house sitting in the middle of this plot of land with two other wooden structures sitting on either side of it
>In front of the house there were three rows of dirt that were probably intended for crops
>In front of that was a pile of fallen trees that had had the branches hacked off
>Building materials if you had to guess
>Dozens of other small but significant things filled your vision as you looked over Anonymous's "property"
>Luna let out a low whistle
>"The colt must have cut a thousand trees down," she muttered
>You nodded slowly
"Cut a thousand trees down, fought the wildlife, and moved a mountain of dirt," you added, letting your amazement wash over you
>A group of powerful unicorns would have had trouble building all of this in the Everfree forest
>You couldn't, for the life of you, imagine how difficult it must have been for Anonymous
>Now you could see why he had resisted Twilight bringing him back to down with such fervor
>You could have fought tooth and nail if you had managed to build all of this and somepony wanted you to throw it all away...
"I wonder how he managed to build that cabin all by himself; and out here in this forest no less."
>You and Luna just stand there for a few moments taking in the rather incredible sight before a certain emotion begins to fill your chest
>It looked like this was going to be far more interesting than you had imagined!
>Grinning, you nudged your sister with a wing
"Come now, Luna, we have a stallion to speak to!"
>If you wanted to speak to Anonymous before now you REALLY wanted to have a chat with him!
>Your sister struggles to keep up with you as you powertrot toward the big log cabin
>To your delight you see that the one who had been causing all of this fuss was sitting on his porch with a open book in his hands and a pipe in his mouth
>Is that tobacco that he's smoking?
>It's been an age since you've seen anypony smoke...
>Anonymous, who hadn't noticed you yet so engrossed with was he in his book, exhaled a puff of smoke through his nostrils as he grumbled to himself
>On the walk through the forest you had decided that you needed the introductions to be slow and gentle
>No appearing out of thin air
>No yelling or stomping around destroying anything
>You and Luna just needed to get Anon's attention and you needed to start with a simple good afternoon and a how do you do
>Unfortunately, after seeing all that Anon had built, you had forgotten to inform Luna about your plan of action
>"ANONYMOUS! We would have words with thee!"
>You sighed as Anon's head whipped up to look at you
>His eyes narrowed and he reached down to grab the worn out, chipped axe sitting at his leg as he spat out his pipe
"There's no need for that, Anon!" you said just a little too loudly. "My sister and I are only here to talk."
>"I am NOT leaving my home to live in that thrice-cursed town," he growled
"We aren't going to force you anywhere that you don't want to go, Anon," you promised, doing your best to look as small and non threatening as possible. "We're just here to talk. You have my word."
>Boy, Twilight's wasn't wrong when she said that Anonymous was being overly aggressive
>He just sees you and he's ready to take your heads off
>Though you couldn't really blame him
>The last mares that had come around his house had tried to burn it down...
>Both you and Luna watched as the human looked at the two of you with narrowed eyes
>...Before he let out a sigh
>"...I have no quarrel with you, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna," he grunted, putting his. axe down "But I am not in the mood for dealing with ponies. Come back in a few days if you wish to speak with me."
>Luna frowned as Anonymous reopened his book and started to scan the pages again
>"Anonymous the human, We hath heard from Twilight Sparkle and many other ponies from Ponyville that thou attacked them. Though thou wish to be left alone we cannot fulfill thy wish until we hear what transpired."
>"No. Go away," Anon answered, licking his finger and flipping the page
>"I'm afraid that we must insist--"
>"Insist somewhere else. I've have a belly full of royals for a while."
>Anon waved in the direction that you and Luna had come from
>"Now leave me be before I bend you over my knee and beat you with my axe
>You tried to open your mouth to try to ease the obvious tension in the air but Luna cut you off
>Scoffing, you little sister looked over at a monstrous tree stump not five feet away from the two of you
>Her horn sparked to life, encasing the stump in her magic
"Luna, ple--"
>You deflate a little when you sister, glaring at Anonymous with her nose scrunched up, ripped the stump out of the ground roots and all
>...Sweet stars above Luna...
>"We are NOT Twilight Sparkle, cretin. We will not just stand idly by while they run at us with thy hunk of iron."
>She then ripped the stump in half like it was a dried twig and tossed both of the halves away from the two of you
>"If thou wish to throw a hissy fit we shall gladly show thee thy place."
>Anon looked up from his book
>His eyebrow raised as he looked at the torn apart stump
>You expected him to look angry; you probably wouldn't have been too happy with Luna's behavior if you were him
>But he just looked... bored?
>"I've been trying to get that damned stump out of the ground for weeks," he said, looking your sister up and down before he returned to his book. "I'll have to chop it up for firewood later. You have my thanks."
>Luna opened her mouth but you snapped it shut with a spell
>No no no
>You didn't want to hear anything else come out of that filly's pie hole
>She's already done more than enough thank you very much
>Though he looked bored you could see that Anon's muscles were tensed
>He was ready to spring into action; ready to launch himself at you and your sister
>You had to defuse the situation now or something might happen that all of you will regret
"Are you sure that you don't want to speak with us?" you asked the human
>"I'm positive," he answered without missing a beat
>Well... this wasn't turning out like you hoped...
>Your mind raced, trying to think of a way to turn this all around
>You mentally fumbled for a few moments before you sat on your haunches with a sigh
"Very well then. My sister and I shall wait until you are ready to speak with us."
>"What?!" Luna cried before you slammed that big mouth of her's shut, smiling as Anonymous looked up at you
>Though you could see irritation in his eyes he didn't did up to force you to leave
>Which was something
>"...I will not tell you how to spend your time, even if you wish to waste it."
>With a slight shake of his head he returned to his book
>"As long as you leave me be then you can sit there and wait as long as you wish."
>...Not how you thought this was going to go but you'll take it!
>Anything to get your hoof in the door
>Fixing your sister with a "just be quiet and go along with it" look you settle in and begin your least favorite game of all time
>The waiting game
>Eventually Anonymous would take either get annoyed enough or he'd take pity on you and start talking
>You just knew it
>All you and Luna had to do was sit back and wait
>...And wait
>...And wait
>...And wait some more
>You don't know how long you and your sister just sat there in front of Anonymous's porch while the stallion sat there and read
>It might have been minutes, it could have been hours
>Your sister was amusing herself by using her magic to juggle three pebbles in the air
>You were sure sitting there looking at the scenery bored out of your mind
>It appeared that you had underestimated Anonymous's ability to ignore you
>But you couldn't back down
>You and Luna were going to sit here all night if you needed to!
>And SPEAKING of your little sister...
>You were going to give Luna SUCH a talking to when you got home
>If she didn't go and snap at him maybe you could have talking Anon into...
>Though you're just letting your mind run on autopilot at this point a movement from Anonymous catches your eye
>Taking a moment to get a good look at him you see that his face is scrunched up in frustration
>But it wasn't because of you and Luna
>His mouth was moving, and if you didn't know any better you'd say that he was trying to...
>Getting up you started to make your way toward Anonymous
"Anon? Is there something wrong?"
>You could feel your sister's gaze as you stepped onto the human's porch but you ignored it, keeping your gaze on the stallion in front of you
>Though you were a princess first most of your days were spent teaching at Starswirl's School for Gifted Unicorns
>Nothing brightened your day more than to teach little ones the ways of magic
>And while you knew that you weren't the greatest teacher in the whole world you knew when somepony was struggling with something when you saw it
>Anon's eyes snapped up to meet yours just as you sat down beside him
>You ignored the anger building on his face to look at the book
"Are you having trouble with a word?" you asked, quickly reading one of the pages. "I'd be more than happy to help you with you'd like."
>Confusion replaced anger as Anon stared at you
>You simply continued to smile back at him
"Though I don't look it I've done my fair share of teaching, Anonymous."
>To further cement that you meant no harm you levitated Anon's pipe off the ground and back into his mouth
"So please, show me what's giving you trouble."
>Anonymous looked down at his book
>You could see that he was debating on what to do
>He could toss the book away and charge you
>He could let you help him
>It was a toss up at this point
>The only thing you could do was sit there and smile and hope
>"...What is this word?" he asked, tilting the book so that you could read it easier as he pointed out the word
>Got him
"That word is oxidation, Anon."
>Anonymous's nose scrunched up as he silently mouthed the word over and over again
>While he was doing that you beckoned your sister with a wing
>No use for her to just be sitting on the ground while you were here
>You were use that Anon wouldn't mind if she made herself comfortable on that stool over there
>"Ox-i-da-tion. Oxi-da-tion. Oxidation. Oxidation."
>The smile on your face grew and grew as Anon's confidence with the word grew each time he said it until he was smiling himself
>He looked up at you, the suspicion and anger that was once on his face gone
>"What does the word mean?"
>Out of the corner of your eye you saw Luna settling herself in the stool
>Clearing your throat you made yourself as comfortable as you could
>You had a feeling that you were going to be here a while
"Well, you see, oxidation happens when..."
I'm done
Why sad Anon?

Would explain why he isnt bothering her if anything.
>Why sad Anon?
Because once the mares pop their cherry, they won't be able to see anon anymore. Anon will constantly be losing friends. To say nothing of the fact that if he were to throw any of them the D, that would be what separates them forever.

So neat but sad.
>I'm done
damn you i wanted more, but i guess i'll have to wait
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pls write faster
Thank you for unhideing them, and if you do ever get around to a complete rewrite I wish you the best of luck
If he actually didn't give a fuck, he would have said as much when it came up.
For what it's worth, the time he deleted it around matches up with the time period where his life was basically in a constant state of being flip turned upside down, so he was probably just really stressed out.
I've been on that for a year and a half. It'll never happen as much as I want it to. The story is so cringeworthy that it's embarrassing.
Nav has cursed items that always fuck him over as a plot device at certain points in the story. One was gender swap stones.

Well they became perminant in like chapter 100 and something. So you could imagine being a reader and getting to this part and it really not being your thing. It was disappointing.
Writefags, I have a question:

I'm a sometimes writer, who only contributes very occasionally. When I write, I'm usually at a low point in life and find it cathartic. The thing is that, as a result, I've started several stories without quite finishing any. I'd love to complete some of them, but in happier times I have little to no motivation to write. I want to, but I always seem to have better things to do. I wanted to know, is anyone else in a similar boat? If so, does anyone have any advice/ideas about how to go about finishing various stories? My main concern is that I won't be as good at writing when I'm not feeling down. Has anyone had an experience like this, and do they have any words of advice?
Somewhat similar boat. You just have to keep writing, Anon. It will be hard and boring, but if you can push through the shit and make your way to an exciting part in the story, or some part that really moves you, you'll find the words just flow onto the page.

You could also try listening to music that fits the tone of your scene. That might help you get into the mood.
This. music is very helpful for getting into the mood of your story. even if its a low point that is only there to build up for something later it really helps keep you thinking about where to take it.
Stick to shorts. Long stories will get you more followers, but you'll burn out much faster.
Aw yeah baby, give me more (You)'s
I'll give listening to some music a pop, but I'm not convinced. The issue isn't so much being in the wrong mood. The more down I am, the more comedic I tend to be in my writing. The issue is more of motivation: when I'm feeling fine, I've not got a huge drive to write. On some level, I guess I'm more worried I won't write as well as I do normally.

I'll give this a go too, but I've got two or three longer stories that I really need to finish. I'd much rather get them done than start something new.
Donate me your money so your life gets bad and you get your motivation.
sounds interesting to me... but 1.8 million words and 100+ chapters... god damn dude thats a long read and from the bits and pieces i read when the project started it came off as to edgy for me to really get into.

question i have now is it edgy or did i read the tone wrong? i don't really care about the anon being kind of a dick or emo, but plot overall being edgy... think of it being the difference between the lyra bonbon with clop story that has 5 parts, where the characters can have a bit of edge but the world doesn't, opposed to that one thing aether did where trilight played the saw villain.
Interesting start, looking forward to see what happens. The loner but not completely useless / asshole ones are usually fun.
You heard it here first, folks. If you crash your car, your financial situation goes to shit, and then you stop writing/looking at greentext about a world of magical ponies. So,

1. If you can get other transport to work, use it.
2. Don't own a car. Leeeaaaaaasssseee.
3. Cars are a-shit, hope you don't live where everything is 10 minutes by car.
4. Fuck cars.
I'm here
I just post under a different name :^)
If you want to write in your current state, then you literally just have to make yourself do it. It'll probably be bad, but that's what revisions and critique is for.

No one gets it right the first time.
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I have a highly similar writing issue. While I enjoy writing, it's always at the bottom of a list of entertainment priorities. There's simply more easily accessed materials. When you do write, I recommend listening to music, as everyone else has.

If you want to be in a "write mood", however, well. If it were me, like I said, I'd have to remove the availability of alternatives. Some of this maybe can be done by willpower, but we live in a world of very easily accessible diversions.

Writing isn't easy. There's a reason there's a long standing tradition of locking yourself in a freezing cabin in the middle of fucking nowhere to write a story.
replying with a name means you're not in the cool kids club

watching all the kids from post-2012 call themselves old. kek.
Shin pls
dat's shin, plz go
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Several stories started that are left hanging? Abandoned stories? The fickle muse that is motivation?
More writefags are in that boat than you'd think. I've got 8 WiP pastes that haven't been touched in ages, not to mention the stories that simply haven't been continued after their most recent chapter.
I don't have the sage advice you're looking for, or wisdom of how to get through writer's block. What I can tell you though, is what I've done.
Sit down, power through writer's block as best you can. More often than not, I've found myself simply lacking any sort of motivation - until I finally sat down and started writing. Once I got myself into a writing mood, the rest more or less happened because I was in a writing mood.

Set some time aside to yourself, pick a story or idea you're particularly fond of, and just try and get yourself going with it again. You might be surprised to find yourself buried deep into a story you long since declared dead.

Basically this >>25984192

Do I count as old?
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>not "Ooga booga booga, where the white mares at?"
>Nav has cursed items that always fuck him over as a plot device at certain points in the story. One was gender swap stones.

>sounds interesting to me... but 1.8 million words and 100+ chapters... god damn dude thats a long read.

I still can't wrap my head around this. I cant imagine a story that can't be wrapped up in 2 million words.

There's literally no story that cannot be wrapped up in 2 million words. Rowling
covered 7 years of Potter's life in just over a million, and Tolkien covered Lord and the Rings & the fucking history of Middle Earth in less than two million.


Is this basically The Days of Our Pony Lives? Evil twins, amnesia, characters seemingly dying and later returning, love triangles, all of that shit?
Long stories are usually just episodic tropes. Filler all day erry day, or stories within stories. You can find a lot of long-lasting series that are just "Oh ok, were gona go with this theme this week". Its a new show. It just uses characters you know because that's how they get viewership / readers.
>Long stories are usually just episodic tropes.
Clearly you've been reading the wrong long fics.
Usually, not always. Nice contribution to the conversation, nerd.
>>"I've been trying to get that damned stump out of the ground for weeks," he said, looking your sister up and down before he returned to his book. "I'll have to chop it up for firewood later. You have my thanks."

I want to live with nordanon and help build a little hamlet.
>on a list
Hi. I'm AchingScaphoid, the notoriously ded writefag from PiE. I guess I should take my writing here now that the Ponies in Earth threads are merged with AiE again.

I'm not updating Long Distance just yet. Sorry. That's happening eventually that anon who estimated I'd have it in February might actually be right. Fuck. PiE may be kill, but I refuse to be kill. Just lazy and easily distracted. As a side note, Bethesda really half-assed the suburbs of Boston. The Charles River hasn't had that much empty shoreline since the 1800s. At least the water quality is accurate.

I felt inspired while I was listening to holiday songs and I figured I'd try to turn it into something feelsy and weird. Five posts of [PiE] incoming.


A million times this.
>Be harvest drone 458
>This number is to be displayed on the flank of your carapace at all times
>Identities within the hive
>How strange
>It is an adaptation for a strange time
>The Queen has relocated the hive to a planet called 'Earth' that the ponies discovered
>Many caverns have been excavated from the dusty soil of a country known as 'India'
>A central location on Earth's largest cluster of continents
>The Queen is wise
>Feeding is easier than it has ever been
>Humans are the primary inhabitants of this planet
>They are a strange species
>Few other species would give their love willingly
>And yet thousands of humans do so every day
>Drones need not even leave the hive to make their harvests
>Humans have created devices that can carry sounds from one location to another instantaneously
>The hive has acquired many of these devices through commerce
>A large chamber of the hive is dedicated to their use
>The humans who are paid for their installation and upkeep refer to the chamber as a 'call center'
>India has many call centers and can support them well
>If the hired humans continue to describe the hive's odors using comparisons to vomit and unwashed flesh, other humans with similar expertise will not be difficult to find
>The Queen is wise indeed
>You are seated at one of the 'North American English' harvesting stations
>The harvesting device has been placed before you on a slightly elevated platform with another device beside it for financial transactions and record-keeping
>You are tethered to the device by a plastic implement that clamps over your head and extends toward your mouth
>The chatter of hundreds of drones speaking dozens of languages pervades the chamber
>Some impersonate estranged romantic partners and forbidden relations
>Others impersonate the deceased or unavailable
>Little time passes before your station trills for attention like a needy larva
>You activate the harvest device and begin feeding, speaking in a gentle, female voice
"Hello, and thank you for calling Ring-a-'Ling. You are speaking with operator #458. Will you be using our free, standard service or our premium service today?"
>A female voice much like the one you presented replies through the device
>"I- uh... standard. Standard service, please."
>No delay while financial information is exchanged, and no pointless description of reproductive acts
>You can taste urgency in her words
>She longs for someone desperately
>This will be a good harvest
"Good to hear! Please be advised that your phone service may charge you for this call. May I have your name and a description of the person you would like to hear from?"
>"My name is- no. Please call me Laurie. I want to talk to a 5 year old girl."
"Gladly. I'll need a couple more details before we begin. What is your relationship with this person, and do you have any special requests?"
>"Yes, um, she would be my daughter. Call me mama, or something like that."
>There is clear mournfulness in the voice of this female, 'Laurie'
>You are engulfed by the bitter, unpleasant taste of death
>This harvest is quite uncommon
>Requests for deceased relatives are usually for elderly humans
>Perhaps the Queen would sympathize with this female; she mourned those who could not be found after the attack on Canterlot
>No matter
>The harvest continues
"We're almost ready. I'm going to start with some test phrases and you can tell me if you want any adjustments made."
>You clear your throat, mostly for effect
>When you speak again, it is an imitation of what Laurie's voice may have been years ago
>You add a slight lisp to simulate a young human's dental development
"Is there anything you want to change?"
>"Yes! I mean no! That's perfect. Please, I just want to get started."
>You switch back to the voice of an adult female
"Okay. Before we begin, I am legally obligated to tell you that if you suddenly feel ill, fatigued, or get a strong headache, you should hang up immediately. Shall we begin?"
>"Yes. Please."
>Quite uncommon
>How coincidental it would be to perfectly impersonate a voice without instruction
>Some other factor may be at work
>It shall be determined later
>This female is eager to begin feeding you
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>You alter your voice to the one which pleased Laurie
"Hi, mama! Can you hear me okay?"
>There is an immediate, intense rush of love
>It is purer and sweeter than any you have ever tasted
>You were not prepared
>"Hi sweetie. It's so good to hear from you. How's my Meggy?"
>Conscious effort is required to maintain your facade
>Too much love
>There should not even be such a concept
"I'm okay. I used some crayons to draw Santa! I'd show it to you, but the phone doesn't have pictures."
>"That's okay, dear. I'm sure it looks great. Maybe I could draw with you sometime."
>Already you feel as if you have taken five calls in a row
"That sounds fun! Promise to do that with me?"
>"I promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake..."
>You concentrate as best you can to calculate what words she will speak next
>With great effort, you say "in my eye" without breaking your impersonation
>The female speaks the same words synchronously to your own
>She laughs
>You giggle along with her
>The flow of love becomes bittersweet and begins to abate
>You hear a sigh through the harvest device
>"... Thank you. If I could have children, I'd want it to be like that."
>On cue, you return to the voice of an adult female
"We take pride in the quality of our service. Would you like to continue?"
>You are unsure if you are capable of continuing
>Excess love is beginning to seep from the holes in your appendages
>"No. I think I've had my moment."
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"Very well. We hope you'll call back soon!"
>"Thanks again."
"You're welcome. Have a pleasant day."
>A click sounds through the harvesting device
>Love stops flowing into you
>You hastily set your harvest device not to resume harvesting
>The feed receptacle at your station is partly full from prior harvests
>You scramble to replace it with an empty one which had been set aside and hunch over it
>Green globs of jelly that are nearly the size of your head spew forth from your mouth, marked with pheromones indicating that they are to be delivered immediately to the Queen
>This process takes inordinately longer than usual
>You have never felt so full before
>That was a very odd harvest
>A female which sounded to be within breeding age had you play the role of a child she claims to be incapable of birthing
>Her identification number will be archived and designated for priority harvesting
>The hive will feed well today

So, that was my first tripcoded post in AiE in over a year. What do you think?
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Other than a bit of disbelief that Indians of all people would have the audacity to complain about the hive smelling bad, that was a really good read.
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Get back to LD, fucker.
Depends what you consider old.
>Be Anon.
>You're surfing the Ponynet totally not looking for Luna creep shots when there is a knock at your door.
>It's Pinkie Pie.
>She wants you to come out and play.
>You think for a moment before screaming "REEEEEE" at her while slowly closing your door.
>Fucking normies trying to make you go outside.
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Very feelsy.
>Be Anon.
>Taking a shit in your back yard because ponies can't into plumbing and you've long since stopped caring.
>"Hey Anon."
Hello Twilight.
>"You should really eat more fiber. I can smell that all the way from my yard."
I'll keep that in mind.
>"Well, see you later."
>You remember the days when you could shit in peace. Those were glorious days.
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I accidentally Scootaloo. Wat do?
It's okay. Her parents rent her out as a mobile toilet to make ends meet.
Was she painted bog white or wearing porcelain?
If yes, you're good.

If no, is there a dot in the middle of your forehead?
If yes, it's still fucked up but it's understood.

If she is not bog white, and you do not have a dot in the middle of your forehead, please seek immediate poo retraining from your closest designated shitting trainer.
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>You find yourself standing in front of Sugarcube Corner with Pinkie at your side.
>"Oh Nonny! I'm so glad you decided to come!"
>You blink and few times and shake your head.
"But... but... -you- brought us here!"
>She giggles. "Of course! We wouldn't want to miss any of the party, would we?"
>Pinkie starts to trot into the building, rolling her eyes and simulating wackiness.
>"You're so silly sometimes, Anon."
>There's no use in arguing with Pinkie Pie.
>Instead, you simply sigh and join her inside.
>Once you catch back up to her, a thought occurs to you:
"Pinkie, who's birthday party is this, anyway?"
>She gasps and turns to you in shock. "It's everypony's, silly! We were all born three years ago!"
>She leans up close to you and whispers into your ear.
"We're all actually in a TV show."

CAPTCHA: Bananas
Imagine you end up in Equestria exactly when the Pinkie clones are killed. You can probably persuate the ponies that you can take one or more of the clones into your care. Will you? How many, if yes?
I still lurk. Always lurk.

I like how PiE can bring new concepts to the table. This own was interesting to read and handled said concept well. Sounds like you could expand on detail if you wanted to continue it or leave it as is. Its one of those stories you can take a few ways.

You could focus on a single drone, telling a personal story that way while filling in detail from interaction from other drones. Alternatively, you could tell if from the head, Chrysalis, and get a very bird's eye view of production/management while staying a little personal. There's also the option of variating the main character each chapter, going for an overall feel of the organization instead.

All in all, gud writes.
>This own
This one. I dunno how I make these weird ass typos. My brain just thinks its ok to type words roughly close to other ones.

>Exactly when the pinkie clones are killed
>How many will you adopt?

But anon, they're already dead. If anything, Anon is going to suddenly appear in a giant, melty gush of exploded pinkies. His poor timing will be viewed as some aftereffect of eliminating cloned life, and the ponies will have to decide what to do with him.
Get a Pinkie clone that still has the hind end intact. Keep it as a fleshlight.
This will never stop being funny to me. I'm so glad I don't live in India.
>dat pic
Milky is love; Milky is life.
Do we have any good dank Anon stories? Getting high would be the best way to deal with small horse bullshit.

Quietly lurking.
Anon you are many things, quiet is not among them.
Cross post

>Be Lyra, be sitting in your evil lair, watching the ponies below as they go about their day
>Everything looks normal at first glace, but you've seen the slight differences that have been made in the last few months
>The swollen middle of every mare's belly
>The strange change in their appetites
>How the foal store's business has boomed
>Each and every mare in Ponyville has become pregnant
>Yourself included, of course
>You slightly rub your own middle as you recall how easy it was to enact your master plan
>Once the human had made an appearance, everything fell into place
>You didn't even have to cast the Want It Need It spell for every mare to throw herself at him
>Now that every mare in town is carrying his offspring, ponykind will-
>"Lyra? What are you doing here in the dark?"
>The lights flicker on and your herdmate, Bon Bon, stares at you with amazed confusion
>You thought that you would be caught eventually, but for it to be the one closest to you...
"So, you finally figured it all out, huh Bonnie?"
>"Figure out what? I only went out for a spinach milkshake."
"Well, it's too late! The evolution of ponykind is at hand! In less than a month, Anon's spawn will be born into this world and change Equestria as we know it!"
>"...Right. You're in one of your moods again. Look, if you need anything I'll be in the bed room. My hooves are killing me...."
>You hear the bed room door shut and you go back looking towards the outside world, basking in the greatness of plan to change the world
"Hey Bonnie, did you get me something too?"
>"Your gingerbread casserole is in the kitchen."
Read it in the other thread. Lyra has some odd plans.
dude weed lmao

I get bored easily. This makes a pleasant diversion from getting something constructive done.
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Page nine QUESTION!

What do you most want to see in an AiE story? What are your thoughts on Anon being something other than a human or pony? Have you ever considered what's beyond the Equestrian borders not marked on the official map? What was your favorite bit of lore revealed in S5?
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>What do you most want to see in an AiE story?
No real preferences.
>What are your thoughts on Anon being something other than a human or pony?
If he's not a human I'm not reading it.
>Have you ever considered what's beyond the Equestrian borders not marked on the official map?
I ignore the official map already and have my own stuff written.
>What was your favorite bit of lore revealed in S5?
Didn't care any of it.

Why are you asking these.
Gryphonia is always interesting. Bit sad that the only city we know of is a shithole because no friendship. Not happy about friendship being a massive life-improvement requirement of all known species.

AiE's that take place outside of the pre-registered locations are always fun. I've wanted to write a story where Anon is a hologram for quite a while, but that's not really pushing entirely into non-human territory.
- Cute & funny stuff mostly.
- Don't really care for it.
- Sure, though I'm not familiar with the official map.
- Didn't watch it.
>What do you most want to see in an AiE story?
>What are your thoughts on Anon being something other than a human or pony?
If it is human-like enough, maybe. Else probably not.
>Have you ever considered what's beyond the Equestrian borders not marked on the official map?
Couldn't care less about the map.
>What was your favorite bit of lore revealed in S5?
Luna's a masochist.
>What do you most want to see in an AiE story?
Serious shit that really tests the characters mettle.

>What are your thoughts on Anon being something other than a human or pony?
As an anthropocentric, I would hate that idea.

>Have you ever considered what's beyond the Equestrian borders not marked on the official map?
When I was a little more autistic, yes. I spent a lot of time thinking of what was outside Equestria.

>What was your favorite bit of lore revealed in S5?
I'm not really sure I liked any of it in the end. I liked heading out to see Ourtown until that was a two episode desert. I liked the map until that was only used for the season specials and Griffonia. I liked Griffonia until it was shitty bird jew town. They had a lot of great ideas but really dropped the ball on everything.
>What do you most want to see in an AiE story?

>What are your thoughts on Anon being something other than a human or pony?
It can work? But it'd probably be pointless.

>Have you ever considered what's beyond the Equestrian borders not marked on the official map?
There isn't much known about those places, most people get fussy and call it OC wanking.

>What was your favorite bit of lore revealed in S5?
Totally contradicting what I just said, Griffonstone.
>What do you most want to see in an AiE story?
Fun and adventure.

>What are your thoughts on Anon being something other than a human or pony?
I personally wouldn't be interested.

>Have you ever considered what's beyond the Equestrian borders not marked on the official map?
Every once in a while I do.

>What was your favorite bit of lore revealed in S5?

Why do you ask? gonna write something?
well... imagine it this way.

what if harry potter didn't have to rely on people reading the story in one go, but was episodic?

1 novel hit the highlights of a year, but are you telling me normal interactions couldn't also be interesting? are you telling me that the only interesting shit that happened was the harry and the situations he was in?

i could easily see, if pacing wasn't a concern, more mundane chapters that are more akin to a slice of life that could lead up to the more dramatic stories.

or lets go what a normal aie is, anon living in equestria. the story doesn't end just because one event finished, we have what is it now, 5 seasons of shit hitting the fan for a relatively interesting episode each time? do we have a time line for events yet? there is a fuckload if intresting shit that happens almost yearly if not multiple times a year.

its the hardest part of the story is how you want to end it because you know damn well the characters could have a bigger event happen down the line, or events at least as important could happen so why not also write them?

take a look at berserk, the golden age arc, up till the princess sex or even the court politics you could have bookended the damn thing right there and told a complete story, but more shit happens in life than just the normal major events.
>What do you most want to see in an AiE story?
Action/Adventure is always fun. Also, Twilight-focused.

>What are your thoughts on Anon being something other than a human or pony?
Can be fun. For longer stories, humanoid seems to be prefered, but not necessarily required. Main thing in my opinion is non-native to the planet, since the whole alien and differences thing is my main appeal. But you make Anon an anthro and I'll drop it so hard that Chicxulub be like damn
I live the concept, however, I think it could easily get old quick if they all happen from the point of the changeling taking the call.

You made the changeling unable to understand why someone would want this, and I think thats where its strength lies. Instead of all these being at the call center, you could have these be at the water cooler, where the changelings try to understand what's going on.

Hell, for the ones like this, have the Chrysalis, be the one who knows what's going on behind the calls, you have it in cannon the love goes through her, have her store the more complicated ones somewhere else, you could even make her more empathetic to the emotions due to them not needing to steal them here.

will love to read more no mater the way the story turns.
What i want in an equestria story is usually fun, i don't care if it gets dark, or if its comedy, make it fun for me to read... i remember the pre AiE times when flutterrape was the main inspiration for the story, because the idea itself was so stupidly hilarious. if anyone remembers the line "you slam the house, the whole goddamn house" than you know what i mean fluttershy farted in his face to see if that was his fetish

with that said

Did anyone make a story based on the drunk 357 year old twilight who time travels back to the twilight we knows time?

i can imagine a story about an anon who doesn't like twilight much only to meet older twilight either at a bar or in his house, and they get along great, much to twilight's dismay. while much to her disapproval, there isnt a single thing she can do due to future twilight knowing all the magic
>What do you most want to see in an AiE story?
>What are your thoughts on Anon being something other than a human or pony?
Retarded. Same with ponies being anything else. (Spiders, wolves, kangaroos, etc.)
>Have you ever considered what's beyond the Equestrian borders not marked on the official map?
>What was your favorite bit of lore revealed in S5?
Haven't seen it but CMC getting their marks is cool.
>What do you most want to see in an AiE story?
Well I like most stuff that isn't edgy, fetishy, or badly written.
>What are your thoughts on Anon being something other than a human or pony?
No. Anon should be human or at least look like one physically. Dwarf? close enough. Warforged? fine.
>Have you ever considered what's beyond the Equestrian borders not marked on the official map?
Quite often.
>What was your favorite bit of lore revealed in S5?
Stopped watching at the end of season 3. Was shit m8. I will probably watch the rest at some point however.
>What do you most want to see in an AiE story?
Ponies being cuties.

>What are your thoughts on Anon being something other than a human or pony?
I like that kind of stuff, I don't see why people have an issue with it but then again, to each their own.

>Have you ever considered what's beyond the Equestrian borders not marked on the official map?
Yeah, I love lore exploration. I wish the show would go out of Equestria more, show off some weird and wonderful races even for 1 episode.

>What was your favourite bit of lore revealed in S5?
>Anon has a problem
>No matter what he does ponies will not stop sitting in his lap
>It usually takes less than a minute from him sitting down to find a pony sitting in his lap
>At first it was amusing
>Then it got adorable
>Now it is just irritating
Just fuck the ponies
Either they stop or he gets free poon
It's a win-win
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>What do you most want to see in an AiE story?
Well thought out plot, decent grammar, and accurate pony personalities. Other than that, I don't care much about the story as long as it isn't smut.

>What are your thoughts on Anon being something other than a human or pony?
Dumb. Same with ponies being anything else. (Spiders, raptors, mice, etc.)

>Have you ever considered what's beyond the Equestrian borders not marked on the official map?
Yes, very much. I even think outside their planet at times.

>What was your favorite bit of lore revealed in S5?
More Star Swirl mentioned.
crosspostan bonbon being a cunt
>Day bon in Equestria
>You are bonbon, a mare with a terrible secret.
>Not something minor like being a serial killer.
>Nor something thats really excessively terrible, like being some kind of monosexual.
>You shudder at the mere thought of it being THAT terrible.
>No, what you have to hide is just really terrible, maybe a 7/10 on a linear scale of terribleness.
>Zero being not at all terrible, ten being the destruction of all we know and hold dear by an unopposed infestation of mo-hos.
>You are a were-cunt, half pony, half cunt.
>When the moon is out your candyvag grows to replace the rest of you until there's naught but a gigantic gaping pony pussy flapping around with a clitoris full of malice
>And since Luna's back from her exile that's most of the time.
>Stupid Princess Celestia and her being nice to her sister.
Non-cunt bonbon is indeed nice to see.
Creepy Mall Santa Anon would be pretty entertaining.
Satan is trying to be a mall santa.
He's got a fake beard and a pillow under his jacket.
He really needs the extra cash this job is bringing in.

Was going to reply, but this guy pretty much summed it up.
>Be Anonymous Lord of the Underworld.
>You've been banished to this land of colorful horses and friendship.
>You miss it when everything was on fire.
>Twilight put you in an integration program as a mall Santa.
>You're 12 feet tall and have horns on your head. Plus they don't do Christmas here.
>Little ponies sit on your lap all day telling you what they want for Christmas.
>You contimplate being turned to stone every morning.
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Also, the rewrites for ch. 1 and 2 are done :^)
Give me 7 or 8 more years and it'll be finished.
>No option to rob
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I'm glad we had this moment.
A nice Santa is fine too
That's no fun.
Not everything has to be edgy or about fucking.
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ah, the default reply.
at least the file name is on.
Go to bed, Lulzies.
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>The doorbell to the royal apartment rings and a baby points to it.
>”Dadee, do'.”
“Yes, I head, thank you Astra.” you say as you fuss with your belt.
>”I'M HANGING THINGS!” came Celestia's response from the living room.
>What was the point of being a prince if you couldn't boss people around.
>”I ge', dadee.” Astra says as she gets onto her hovsies and waddles to the door.
“Hold up there, poozer.”
>You swoop in and snatch up Astra in your arms, she giggles while you hold her against your chest as the two of you answer the door.
>Beyond it is a face you knew as well as your own and his cyan comrade.
>”Merry Christmas, nerd.”
“It's Hearthswarming, Anon. Get with the vernacular.”
>The two of you embrace in the doorway around Astra. “It's good to see you.”
“You too, man.”
>You lean back.
“And how's our latest Wonderbolt?”
>Rainbow Dash flexes her forelegs. “Faster than ever, but not fast enough!” she exclaims. Anon puts his hand on her shoulder. “We're asking her to take it just a -bit- easy for her health.”
“That's probably smart.”
>The wriggling caterpillar in your arms can no longer be contained as she squirms and reaches her arms towards your guests. “Unca! Atee!” Astra blurts out.
>Anon kneels down a bit and pets Astra's mane. “Have you been a good filly this year, Astra?”
>She beams back at him.
>You kneel down a bit.
“Sup Thunderstrike.”
>”Hey uncle.”
“How's being ten? Your birthday was recent.”
>He shrugs. “Kinda the same as being nine.”
“Enjoy it while you can, man. Puberty sucks.”
>”Don't scare the kid.”
“I'm sorry, who's the parent of the perfectly behaved princess? I thought so.”
>Anon rolls his eyes. “Can we come inside?”
“Sure, sure, come inside Rainbow Dash, Anon.”
>You step aside and let them pass, Anon looks down at your waist as you escort them to the living room.
>”Is that-?”
“Missletoe, yes.”
>”And it's-?”
“On my belt. Ahuh.”
>“...I'm guessing to mean...?”
“Yes, it means Kiss my dick.”
>Merry fucking Christmas.
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZOBRbVCJL4
>Later at the dinner table you had another headache.
“Luna, I still have absolutely zero idea what the point of this game is.”
>Luna looks up from her handheld chalkboard. “Tis simple, in-law of mine. One simply draws what they wish for for Hearthswarming and then, when we open our gifts, we shall see if anyone is correct! Whomever is, is awarded a prize!” she says beaming.
“I mean why are we doing this while we wait for dinner instead of just making smalltalk.”
>Those servers are taking too goddamn fucking long...
>”This is more fun!” she exclaims.
>You are not amused.
>You put your hand on Celestia's hoof and your other on Astra's head.
“I've already got what I asked for for the holidays.”
>”Such a sweetheart...” Celestia starts. “And what might that be?”
“That your parents aren't coming over.”
>Across the table, Anon bites back a laugh with his food.
>Celestia continues to draw. “See? I knew it was coming.”
>The doors at the end of the hall open and servers file out.
>Now you can-
>Luna puts down her chalk. “I am complete! And just in time, too!”
>Oh no.
>The night princess turns her board around. “For my Hearthswarming, I have asked for polish for my telescope! Rainbow Dash, what have you asked for?”
>Suddenly put on the spot, the rainbow gets a bit more red in it. “Uhh...well, I could use some new goggles, the old ones are starting to fog up permanently.”
>Anon silently pats her hoof and you not-so-silently tap your foot under the table. Dinner was RIGHT THERE.
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>He flips his board over. “Microscope. I'm a simple man.”
>Luna nods. “Mous?”
>Luna narrows her eyes a bit. “We will return to you... Little Thunderstrike, what of you?”
>Thunder turns his. “Uhh...there's a new Red Riding scooter that just came out in October, I'd love to take that to school.”
>”Has Astra...?” Luna begins. Your little girl is biting her board.
>Further proof that you were the father.
>”Ah...well, sister?”
>Celestia turns her board around. On it is a little drawing of a human with an angry face and predominant muscles. “I would be overjoyed if I woke up to this tomorrow.”
“Oh ha ha ha. Can we eat now?”
>The servers start forward, but Luna stops them. “Wait! We have yet to see your gift wish, Mous?”
>She would not.
>Let this.
>You look down at the blank board you had and snatch up your chalk, creating a shape as you turn it around.
“There. It's my wife's dignity. Now get that food over here or someone at this table is going to get eaten.”
>Dinner is served and no sooner than its in front of you is it getting shoveled into your mouth. Everyone else not named Astra eats with a bit more tact, she was cool.
However not a minute can go by without someone getting on your case so a servant trots up next to Celestia and whispers in her ear, fortunately it's loud enough that you hear too.
>”Your Highness, we've come across a...contraption set up in front of the fireplace. With your permission, we will dismantle it.”
>Celestia's about to nod when you swallow your food.
“Don't you dare.”
>Eyes turn to you.
>”Dear? Is there something about this thing?” Celestia asks.
“It's a Kramups trap.”
>Now all those eyes are arching their eyebrows. Except Celestia who's face, as the husband who can read these things, says “This again”.
>”Dude...” Anon states.
>”Uncle...” Thunderstrike starts. “Krampus isn't-”
>You point your spoon at him.
“Mouth. Shut. Now.”
>Thunderstrike doesn't shut his mouth, but at least stops talking when you gesture to Astra who continues to eat her food.
>Suddenly the table gets it.
>”Mous...” Celestia starts.
“Let her believe.”
>”Your heart is in the right place, dear...”
“At least until she's eight.”
>”A crazy Rube Goldberg thing isn't going to preserve her innocence any longer, man.” Anon says.
“Then suggest something else, smart guy.”
>Anon looks around the room at everyone assembled and scratches his face. “Hey...do you guys have a tailor on call here?”
>After dinner you're in the front of the apartment.
“Okay, does it look right?”
>”Yeah dude, you're fine.”
“Am I straight?”
>”Probably not, but you hide it well.”
“Fuck you.”
>”Well you used to, at least.”
>You punch Anon in the shoulder and he chuckles.
“You're sure Rainbow knows the whole story?”
>”This isn't the first time I've explained what Christmas is to her.”
“Thank her for me after I get out of this.”
>”Roger dodger."
>You heft a sack over your shoulder.
“Not bad for a heathen.”
>”At least hell will be warm.”
>You kick the door leading to the living room.
>Astra's head whips around to the door so hard you swear you hear the wind break. You see her eyes light up like a thousand suns and her smile take up most of her face.
>Rainbow Dash keeps her situated on her knee, she puts her hooves on her cheeks. “Oh my gosh! It's really-”
>”SANTA CLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWS!” Astra shrieks before zipping over across the floor to you.
>You fall back on your butt and let her sit on your lap, her big smile the only thing you can look at, though you catch Celestia smiling warmly out of the corner of your eye.
“Ho ho ho...hello little filly. Have you been a good girl this year?”
>Astra nods and nods fast.
“Ho ho...well let's see what we have for you in Santa's bag, shall we?”
>You reach your hand into the bag and pull out a small plush pony which Astra immediately snatches up.
>Because who else could be vain enough to make a doll that talks, right?
>Astra, enamored with her new gift, squeezes it.
>”You are Trixie's favorite!” it says.
>”You are Trixies favorite! You are Trixies favorite! You are Trixies favorite! You are Trixies favorite! You are Trixies fav-” You put your hand on the top of the doll and push it down a bit.
>That had to stop.
“Ho ho ho...easy there, little one. Come, everyone! Let's see what Santa brought you all...”
>Everyone else begins to crowd around you and you get to hand out gifts.
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMpg8vNRZHg
>Later, after gifts, after cookies, after Astra was asleep and Anon and his family were in the guest room, you sat in front of the fire with Celestia.
>Still in the Santa suit, though unbuttoning it so you didn't fucking die, you rest against Celestia's side like a giant loveseat and let the warmth flow over you.
>”Someone's happy.”
“Because he's full of good food and good cheer.”
>”You weren't at dinner.”
“Dinner was before I saw her face when I came through that door.”
>You reach out and pet behind Celestia's ears, eliciting a soft shudder of comfort from her.
“Thank you for letting me do that.”
>”She's my little treasure too, you know.” Celestia says, nuzzling your face.
“Yeah, but you didn't have to, I appreciate that.”
>”That sounded suspiciously like praise.” Celestia coos.
“There aren't witnesses here, I can afford to speak more...openly.” you tease.
>Celestia chuckles and rubs her neck on yours. You pet one side and kiss the other.
“Who's my favorite?”
>”Astra. Then Probably Anon.” your wife answers.
>”Only when you're around, dear.”
>Celestia pulls back and kisses the top of your head before looking into your eyes with her big magenta globes.
>You let the warmth of the fire wash over you and smile, slowly sliding down onto the floor while still resting on Celestia's side.
>She herself curls up and positions her head right next to yours as she enjoys the same pleasure.
>”Normally by now we'd have your clothes off.”
“Normally, yeah...but this is enough right now.”
>Your eyes closed, you still feel Celestia inch her face closer to you. “Absolutely...”
“Merry Christmas, Celly.”
>”Merry Christmas, fatso.”
>You laugh once and slowly pet her mane until you drift off to sleep.
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Pastebin updated.
For 8th. http://pastebin.com/XpRvMRQ8

I dunno, I had this idea int he shower and wanted to get it out before Christmas, but I was fucking busylazy.

I hope everyone had a not shit holiday and doesn't have to go to their idiot cousin's wedding in a few days even though he's 24 and stupid and gonna get divorced soon anyway and everyone knows it.

Next time will either be more Am I Evil or something new, till then!
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Christmas story posted on the Feast of Epiphany...
>Be Milky Way, destroyer of jobs.
>Had lots of sex with Anon
>Now you have a son
>He took after you
>That means he has gigantic tits
>He's fucking stacked.
>Just like your human husbando, your beloved son emaresculates all the fillies he meets
>They break down crying into his chest tuft when they realise they will never be able to compete.
>Even the other colts want him.
>You are so proud of him.
>Dear Princess Celestia,
>So, I think Twilight put something in my coffee this morning. Mostly because my penis is now 3 times larger than normal. It is also constantly painfully erect.
>That being said, do you want to come over for a visit? Bring Luna too, she'll want to see this.


>p.s. You guys better hurry. Applejack's brother is looking at me through the window like a fat man looks at a cake.
It's funny that you're actually right.
Joke's on you, nerd. I don't know what that is.
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More stories like this.
Does this get lewd? It seems like it might not, but it really should.

No lewd in the comic, but the artist does have one smut pic.

Damn, I was hoping for more than that
>*inching slowly closer*
She wants the D
You don't even need to be big to look good in a Power Ranger costume. It's like it was tailored specifically to make you look amazing no matter what unless you're fat.
Then it's just rad

>For as long as you’ve been here, Tirek had never been a problem until now.
>Even your father had never heard of him.
>You can gather from all that that Tirek had been a problem taken care of during Celestia’s rule.
>If that’s the case, it must have been done with magic.
“John Smith, you’re a genius.”
>”One of us has to be,” he jokes and pats your shiny head.
>You brush his hand away and push yourself to sit up.
>He tries to keep you down, but you use his arm for support and do so anyway.
“We leave now.”
>”Are you daft? We can’t leave now. You need time to heal.”
“I’ve had three days. I’m healed enough. Besides, every day we wait is another day Tirek gets closer to taking more people.”
>You undo the covers to get down, but as you turn your legs, an intense fire runs through your body.
“Ow! John, what the hell?” you shout.
>You look down to see him pressing two fingers into your sore spot.
>The pain forces you back into the bed.
>”You’re not going anywhere. You’re going to sit here and you’re going to get better. Alright?”
“What the hell was that for?”
>”I pushed two fingers against your chest and you fell back into bed. What do you honestly think you can do against armed supporters of Tirek?”
“I did well enough in the control room.”
>”Those were four nerds.”
>You huff and pull the blanket back up to your chest, laying your arms across it protectively.
>You glare at the councilman and debate firing him right there, but he does mean well, so you suppose you’ll let it slide.
>The thought of staying in this horrible place any longer turns you green. That is, greener than usual.
>”Oh don’t be a baby. According to the staff, your shoulder will be fine in ten days and your chest will fully heal in about six weeks. I bet we could get you moving again in only two, though, so just sit tight that long.”
>You groan loudly and push your head back into the pillow.

“Fine, I’ll stay put. Happy now?”
>”Very,” he says with a smile. “Besides, we didn’t even have a plan.”

“What’s to plan? You and I leave in the night and make way for Canterlot.”
>”Just you and I?”
“Tirek seems to have wormed his way into the minds of many. I don’t necessarily distrust anyone else, but I’d rather not spend my nights in the forest with someone who could possibly put a dagger in me.”
>”I’m glad you think so highly of me.”
“Right. So we’ll travel to Canterlot and look around in the libraries for any sort of spell that could help us out.”
>Wait just a minute. Spells require magic. You don’t have any magic. Nobody does!
“John Smith, you’re a fool.”
>”What’d I do?”
“Humans can’t use magic. Your idea doesn’t help us at all.”
>”Of course we can. Our radios were designed to utilize the magical frequencies unicorns used to perform their tricks. We should be able to use them to cast spells as well, shouldn’t we?”
“Do you have any idea how lame that sounds?”
>”Well what’s your suggestion? Do you have any tool that could put a dent in his armor?”
“Of course not.”
>”Then what other option do we have but to try?”
>He’s right.
>This creature has brushed off your bullets and shattered your sword on impact.
>It survived Falling Grace, so Heaven’s Fury shouldn’t have any effect on it either.
“Why don’t you skim through the directories and find one of those scientists you trust? Talk to him about using the radios while I...rest up.”
>”As you wish, Anonymous.”

>The next two days are uneventful.
>You sit in your room and stare at the ceiling.
>It can get quite lonely being on your own though, and the empty bed across from yours isn’t helping much either.
>Every once in a blue moon, you’ll call some nurse in and share a drink with them.
>Out of all of them Sally is your favorite. She smells like honey and always tucks you in before she leaves.
>She’s actually very nice as well. Unlike her compatriots, she doesn’t try to pry into your past.
>Today, she happens to come in with another man.
>She’s lucky nobody brought you anything to drink, or you may have seen the situation as something else.
>He enters in a wheelchair, and she helps him up into the bed across from you.
>Even with a face fifty shades paler than usual, his salon-style hair is a dead giveaway.
“Pseudonymous?” you ask incredulously.
>”Now Anon, be nice to your roommate,” jokes the nurse as she sets the councilman up. “And as for you, if you need anything, you just shout for me. Ok?”
>”Will do. Thank you, Nurse.”
>After he makes himself at home, she bows to you both and promptly leaves, closing the door behind her.
>You stare at the man. He returns your gaze with a shrug.
>”You were right.”
>Well, of course you were, but what?
>”Those Tirek supporters. They came for the council.”
“What are you talking about? What happened?”
>The councilman wipes his tired eyes and sets his head down on the pillow.
>”They came out of nowhere, chanting this one sentence this ghastly mantra. They killed everyone, Anonymous. I tried to fight, but they had boomtubes with them.”

>Dread washes over you.
>Suddenly you feel like a block of lead.
>Two more people added to Tirek’s bodycount.
>More than that, they were your friends.
>Trusted colleagues for years.
>Their lights are gone forever. This is just another reminder of your...incompetence.
>You’re the king. It’s your job to be there to protect your people and yet you can’t even save them from themselves.
>It’s the same thing at every turn.
>When will stop?
>When will others stop paying for your sins?
>”John Smith wasn’t at the scene though. I can only assume he’s fine.”
>Thank heavens.
>At least if one man had to survive, it was him.
>You feel awful for thinking that.
>All human life is equally important.
>Even...even the Tirek supporters.
>They’ll pay for their crimes, but not in the savage, uncivilized ways they cut down opposition.
>”I’m so sorry I ever doubted you, Anon. I should have known. After all, you’d never lied about something like this before.”
>He raises his head again.
>With a few pained groans, he pushes himself up into a sitting position.
>”Whatever I can do to help you, let me do it. This is personal now.”

>You are Pseudonymous, and you are now determined to follow Anon wherever he needs to go.
>Quite recently, you’d gotten into a fight with a few Tirek supporters.
>Had it not been for your experience with a rapier, you might have actually been in some real trouble.
>Actually, the whole thing was rather easy up until you were shot.
>Two bullets plunged themselves into your body, but fortunately none of them hit anything vital.
>You’d jumped through a window to escape the bloody scene before anyone else arrived.
>Nobody followed you thankfully. Even better, you’d landed on the canopy to some average Joe’s store.
>The kind soul saw you and rushed you to the hospital.
>One doctor visit and a few stitches later and here you are, lying across the room from none other than King Anonymous.
>This has been quite the day.
>”Pseudonymous, I need you to tell me everything that happened.”
>It’s not really a story you’d like to repeat but...well, that’s not true.
>For Anonymous, you’d love to repeat it.
>In fact, you do so in gory detail.
>How you fought so bravely, how the other councilmen fell kicking and screaming, and how you fled the scene.
>He seems so attentive to you now. What a change of pace.
>Usually it’s you hanging on his every word.
“Oh, and the phrase ‘rex unus erit cadent’ was uttered a few times,” you add.
>”What the devil does that mean?”
>You can barely hear him whisper “And why does it sound so familiar?”
“I haven’t heard that one specifically before, but I am familiar with the language. It’s ancient Equestrian for ‘one king shall fall.’”
>”Fitting, I suppose. At least we know their calling card.”
“That we do,” you say with a smile.
>Gods above, you are so happy right now.
>For the longest time, all you’ve wanted is some alone time with Anonymous.
>Of course you’d prefer different circumstances than this.

>The two of you converse for quite a while.
>It’s a challenge, but you manage to dial back the ass kissing quite a bit.
>Now you don’t seem as childish and obsessive so much as overly interested.
>You can see on his face that it’s still a little off putting, but he does warm up to you a little more.
>”And then I said ‘if my wolf is fat, what does that make your planetary form’.”
>Oh yes, another dry and tasteless joke.
>He never seems to run out of those.
>You laugh anyway, content to entertain the man.
>He wipes a tear from his eye as the mirth dies out.
>You have successfully gotten in good with Anonymous. Four hours of joking and laughing have seen to that.
>This relationship needs to be more, though.
>It has to be something deeper.
>You decide to press on and pose a question that should get an emotional answer from him.
“Anonymous, do you mind if I ask a personal question?”
>”Very much so, actually.”
>That means no.
“I’ve been wanting to know,” you continue “What exactly happened to your leg? I know you hurt it in the war, but what was it?”
>He doesn’t answer you.
>His glare is uncomforting, but it’s not directed at you.
>It’s almost like he stares through you, far past the wall, and beyond the hospital itself.
>A thousand yards, his stare runs.
>”It’s,” he starts, but doesn’t finish as a lump forms in his throat.
“It’s what?”
>”It’s a reminder for me. A parting gift from an old friend on our last trip together.”
“So they screwed up your leg? Sounds like a bad friend if you ask me.”
>”I was.”
>You eagerly await a response, but he gives none.
>Right. Well this is getting you nowhere.
>You expected a nice conversation to take off.
>”I think I need a drink.”

“Oh? But you were doing so well. I haven’t seen a bottle in your hand all day.”
>”I suppose so. Nurse, would you bring me something to take the edge off?” he shouts.
>Not a minute later, they enter with a small glass of some straw colored liquid.
>”Just for the edge,” the woman says.
>”What did I ever do to you to deserve such torture?”

>She laughs and tilts the cup back against his lips, pouring the beverage in.
>When it’s gone, she pulls away and begins to mess with his covers, tucking him in.
>”You know they’re just going to get messed up again when I move my arm to get a bottle.”
>”I’m not bringing you a bottle.”
>”You’re what?”
>”Oh Anonymous,” she says, cupping his cheek in a hand, “You’re officially on the dry list.”
>”The watch...what? What do you mean I’m on the dry list?”
>”You’ve practically cleaned out our supply. You’re more alcohol than man at this point. From now on, you only get one of these cups per day. You’re going dry.”
>”I was never told about this. I should get a redo for my day’s cup.”
>She giggles and shakes her head.
>As she walks away, the king makes one more call to her.
>”You’re not my favorite anymore, Sally. I like Tommy better.”
>You’re almost sure you can hear a small masculine cheer from the hallway.
>”The nerve of some people,” he grunts.
>You start laughing, prompting a snarl from the king.
“You’re a child, my king. You could simply order her to bring you something.”
>”Count your lucky stars she did such a good tuck job. If I weren’t so comfy, I’d strike you.”
>Honestly, for all the time you’ve spent studying this man, you still can’t wrap your head around his blatant disregard for authority.
>He’s the king of all humanity and yet he’s content to be an equal to the peasants.
>Power is meant to be used.

>The next few days are peaceful enough.
>John Smith, during his first visit, seemed surprised at your being there.
>He was the only councilman missing from the attack, so that’s reasonable. No way he could have known what happened there.
>Though, it does raise the question why nobody told him yet.
>Or perhaps he did know but opted to play dumb.
>He questions you as to how you ended up in the hospital.
>Anon handles the bulk of the story,perhaps sensing John’s somewhat hostile attitude toward you.
>You’re not quite sure what you did to tick him off, but it’s of no matter.
>His friendship would be nice, but it is unnecessary in the end.
>The only person you need is Anonymous, and lucky for you, he seems to be warming up quite well with all the personal time you two have had together.
>That is, all but the time John is in the room.
>He sits by Anon’s bed, almost protectively, speaking in a hushed tone.
>He’s likely filling Anon’s head with wild stories about this and that.
>Perhaps going so far as to turn the king against you.
>John makes make more visits until your time is up.
>Each of them get longer until the last day when he spends all of it by Anon’s side.
>By then, two weeks have passed.
>Your wounds are practically healed. Anon is stronger as well, having had time to recover from his little expedition.
>Anon and John speak together, looking to you occasionally as you put your old duds back on.
>After spending so long in a johnny, you’re a little excited to be back in the tight yet soft embrace of your clothes.
>Finally you collect your rapier and dagger.
>All gussied up and ready to go, you make your way over to the two men and bid them adieu.
>As much as you want to spend time with Anon, you’re not interested in being a third wheel.
>He’ll be alone eventually, and when he is, you’ll make your move.
>”Wait, Pseudonymous,” says the king as you turn to leave.
“Yes, friend?”

>”Over the last two weeks, I’ve had an opportunity to see a side of you I didn’t know existed.”
>”You’re more than the greedy, sniveling runt I thought you once were. Your intelligence and cunning are backed by strong character, as well as loyalty and, oddly enough, compassion.”
>Your lips curl slightly at his praise.
>This is praise, right? You’re not sure how this could take a nosedive.
>”Your fight with those Tirek supporters has also officially placed you on our side of the line.”
>”I tried to talk him out of this,” John interjects.
>”John and I are making way for Canterlot to find some weapon to sue against Tirek. It would do me well to have a brave man like you by my side.”

>Hello, Dolly!
>This is the opportunity you’ve been waiting for.
>You’re in, Pseudonymous! You’re in!
>Anon’s trust is yours. Sure John will be there, but Hell, you’ll take third wheel in this case.
>Finally, after all this time, all this kissing up, you’re moving closer and closer to the man’s heart.
>What’s better, you’re going to be directly involved in planning against Tirek.
>The cards could not have fallen better in your favor.
>Lady Luck is certainly shining on you today.
>You resist the urge to break into song and settle for a firm handshake.
“I’m honored to be considered. I’ll help you two however I can.”

And done. That took a while. I wanted everything typed out, have enough time to see if it fit with the story skeleton the right way, and edit accordingly. As always, thanks for reading and good night.
YOU LIVE! Last I heard of you, you were in the hospital. I don't remember why. I think I liked your story.
That pic.

That fucking pic.

That story is funny as fuck.

Who wrote that pony maid story again?
THAT pic has a green behind it?
Damn, I hope someone has the pastebin, or the screencap of it
I remember you.

I like you.
I saved all the pictures that came with that story

and screencapped it but HDD crash while i was making a backup of my system.

I hate technology sometimes.
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Hey guys I am writing a thing for the RGR thread. I thought I would drop the pastebin here for anyone who wants to read it. http://pastebin.com/mu2rJLdK

>On his way home from work Anon finds a homeless filly and decides to take her home with him
Good night, fellow heartless bastards.
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Awww cute.

I will read after blissful sleep.

Also thank you for the green.
Goodnight to you too friend.
>Be Anon.
>Twilight is hiding under the bed again.
>She is trying to do the whole naturalist thing around you.
>It's cute, but the constant narration is getting old.
>You're not even sure where she got that tape recorder.
>You make her a cup of coffee as you take yours out to the porch.
>She won't drink it if she knows you're watching.
It was a CYOA, bros.
That specific picture is actually just fanart that was made for https://anonpone.pineapplecomputing.com/maid/first by the guy who runs https://anonpone.pineapplecomputing.com/hijack/first and https://anonpone.pineapplecomputing.com/butts/first

Fair warning: That fanart the guy did for Maid for You was better than the entirety of the actual quest.
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