Reversed Gender roles Equestria: Action Mares edition

>You are Anon and you are on your off day.
>It's not like 'independent contractors' (fix-it colts, as mares say) had days-off,
>but, aside from emergencies, nobody wanted to schedule repairs for the weekend.
>In a place with no vidya or reddit, this left you with plenty of free time.
>Back home, getting out to a park with a good book was a rare event, but here,
>in a small town in the middle of nowhere, you were practically living in a park.
>Outdoors study became your weekly ritual. Gotta stay educated in a hostile world.
>A month ago it was modern horse history, last week you brushed up on
>wilderness survival and poisonous plants, today it was time for a bit of sociology.
>But now the day was coming to an end. You finished reading by sunset,
>but the second best study hill was just too good to leave immediately.
>Staying the night outside wasn't an option, however.
>It was time to go home.

>Unlike the sleepless cities, both the ones back home and the larger ones here,
>the town of Ponyville liked to sleep a lot. It slept in late in the morning,
>took a nap in the afternoon, and then settled for an early bedtime in the early evening.
>By the time you decided to drag your lazy ass back home,
>the only place showing any signs of activity was the local bar.
>The streets were empty and lifeless.
>...
>As if it mattered.
>At least it would allow you to get home faster,
>no small night-blind horses bumping into your knees all the time.
>And so you walk on through, humming a merry tune
>"We slept in rocket silos and we can't wait any more - Whoa!
>Not even noticing the three mares that were following you.
>Surprisingly, hooves on dirt can be pretty quiet.

>Even the strike that hit you in your hip and made you tumble into a back-alley was pretty quiet, all things considered.

>Anon is Bon Bon's mission partner
>Is dressed exclusively in skin-tight clothing

>>26000168

>You try to get up
"Fuck"
>That fucking hurt.
>Still, the leg isn't bent or something, so nothing's broken, probably?
"Hey, what the fuck just happened? Don't you ever watch where you're going?"
>"I know exactly where I'm going, ape"
>Oh shit. The voice... that's her.
>Pile Driver
>It was obvious that the hit wasn't an accident, but why did she of all ponies have to snap and attack you first?..
>The rush of adrenaline gets you back on your feet like magic.
>"Oh, you don't need to get up for my sake, it would be easier to have our talk eye to eye."
>Flanking her are two other mares. One of them, Monkey Wrench, is a plumber who you've been putting out of a job.
>The other one you are seeing for the first time .
"I -ow- prefer the term 'monkey' myself. It sounds like something cute, small, nimble and playful."
>the plumber explodes in anger
> "You fucking dick, you think you can just walk in! and fuck everything up! and then you mock me?
> I've done been fixing the fucking shit in this town for fifteen years, and now I'm supposed to fuck of without a single thanks?"
"Ponies wouldn't be calling me to fix your shoddy work if you deserved anything."
>Oh shit, you done goofed, she is gonna charge
>The third one steps in: "Come on Mon, you won't do any good by kicking his ribs in. We gotta educate him!"
>And the head-bitch: "Yes. Like he educated my naive little brother."
> "You know, I was going to let much slide, I don't care if you play around with everything that has a cunt,
> I didn't care what job you did, but now you tried to ruin my brother's life with your filth.
> You shouldn't have touched Auger. You shouldn't have fed him lies. Now you're gonna regret it. "
"Is that your penis envy speaking, 'Pile' Driver?"
>...
>...shouldn't have said that.

>>26000196

>You are Anon in FuckedUpQuestria
>Behind you is a wall, to the both sides are shops, closed down for the night.
>In your mouth you've got a very loose tongue (blame the adrenaline from the hit).
>In front of you are three very angry earth pony mares
>It's their turn, and the most pissed-off mare of the three is trotting towards you.
>She has reared up...
>Now, there is this deal with ponies, especially earthies.
>They are not very fast, and dodging their hoofy-kicks and bucks is easy.
>But behind each strike that Wrench throws you can feel a wrongness, as if the physics of this world creak and groan.
>Watching them at work is one thing, but feeling the air tug on your body as her hoof sails past...
>As if a truck zipped by. Fuck this shit. You need to end this.
>"Oh just sit down so we can have a chat!"
>Pile flanked you. Dodging her buck almost had you back on your ass.
>Time to employ the most advanced self-defense tactic you know...

>...strike, run away and get help.
>Your heart is thumping like an over-revved engine.
>So you kick the head bitch in the face.
>Your boot impacts it with a satisfying pomf.
>Slap Monkey Wrench on the ear.
>She recoils in pain.
>Now would be the time to run away, but 'gentle educator' is blocking your way in a narrow spot.
>She is standing next to a closed garbage container, thinking that you will have to go through her.
>The container is low enough for ponies to throw trash inside.
>You just vault over the thing and bail
>No matter how inept they were, fighting with someone who can shatter your spine in a blink of an eye is a stupid idea.
>And so you run on through the town. You desperately needed a friend right now.

>...what was that?
>Bon-Bon and Lyra's house!
>You know for a fact that Lyra is an auxiliary guard.
>Safe. You're safe.
>You raise your fist to pound on the door as you yell:
"Lyra! Bon! Help me!"

>>26000215
>...your fist connects and the door swings open.
>It wasn't even locked.
>You rush in, close it behind you and collapse to the floor.
>A moment later you see Bon-Bon going quietly down the stairs,
>as casual as if she is about to open shop for the day.
>"Anonymous? Is this you?"
"Bon, I was going home, and there were these three mares, they"
>"You're limping. Did they hit you?"
"--they attacked me, so I hit back, and then I just--"
>...and you feel hooves gently placed on your shoulders.
>"You did everything right. It's ok, you're safe now. We'll handle things from here."
>...the hard keratin feels soft as a pillow.
>Some more magic fuckery, you bet.
>As the rush dies down, the reality of what happened starts to settle in
>You just got into a three on one fight, goaded your opponents to strike,
>kicked in some faces and escaped unscathed. Some hits were close though.

>"Bonnie? What's the commotion? Oh, hello Anon!"
>Lyra comes down the stairs, groggy and half-asleep.
>"Good morning sleepyhead. Anon got jumped, and ran to us for safety."
>And just like that, she is at attention
>"Where did it happen? Anon, do you know who it was?"
"Calm down--"
> "You will have to forgive Lyra and her guard training, Anon. You know what they say about guards.
> Give them a fulcrum and they fall asleep! Sleep through anything, too! I'm surprised she even got up!"
>"Bon-Bon, stop it! We've got to go and handle this!"
>"No we don't. There is nopony there to handle. They probably fled as soon as Anon got here."
>Bon-bon looks closely at your boots.
>"By the way, thanks to Anon, identifying them won't be that hard..."
>Blood.
>These bitches ruined your boots.
>"...but we should move out and look at the place, just in case. Anon, will you show us where it happened?"

>>26000232

>When you fled, you felt like you arrived at Lyra's house within seconds.
>Actually, you were at least two blocks away.
>As you round the last corner, you notice that there are quite a lot of ponies standing where the fight took place.
>Turns out everypony heard it, and seconds after you ran, people began gathering around.
>"Do you remember anyone, Anon?"
"I know two of them. It was Monkey Wrench and Pile Driver. Also some other pony that I didn't see around here.
Green-yellow coat. Key-lime poofy mane. Didn't notice her mark"
>"Are you sure about the first two? Can you remember something about them? Mane color?"
"I know what I saw, Minty. One of them lashed out at me because I was ruining her business.
The other told me not to mess with her brother Auger. I'm sure"
>The third pony from tonight is still there. She is yelling at the crowd, something about an attack.
"And there she is, the green one. Talking to the crowd. Same colors, recognize the voice."
>"...and then that ape just ran up and bucked her, without any warning!"
"HEY, CUT THE CRAP! THREW ME INTO A CORNER TO BEAT ME UP AND YOU KNOW IT!"
>All eyes are on you. There are at least 20 ponies gathered.
>Wrench here too, sitting in the corner... crying?
>Nurse Redheart here. Not in uniform. Next to her, a pony is lying on the ground.
>It's Pile Driver.
>She isn't moving.
>The kick, the feel of it..
>You didn't kick her in the face. Too soft. You kicked her in the throat.
>You kicked her in the throat and crushed her windpipe.
>She suffocated while you ran away.
You feel your sins crawling on your back

>>26000256

>Lyra approaches the crowd.
>"Okay listen up! I'm with the guard and I will need statements from everypony here!
> Let's keep calm, do this quick and without incidents, and most of you will be free to go"
>"Yeah, let's do this quick. I'll do this monster in quick! I'll do him in as quick as he did in Pile!"
>Wrench charges at you in fury.
>Before you can react, Bon-bon jumps in between the two of you.
>She takes the first blow. It sends her flying to the side.
>Holy shit. Can't run now. You need to take the madmare out.
>Before you can react, however, Wrench tumbles down, her front legs twisted at unnatural angles,
>hooves glued to the ground with the green glow of Lyra's aura.
"Bon-Bon, are you alr--"
>Bon-Bon is already up, completely unfazed by the blow.
>Lyra lifts your attakcer in the air
> "Does anypony else want to start a fight with the guard here? No?
> Then let's get this started"

>>26000265

>As soon as the medics arrive, you are sent off to the hospital to get your injuries looked at.
>Lyra said that somepony will collect your statement later, if it's necessary.
>Surprisingly, some of the blows that couldn't have connected left some nice bruises.
>Thanks to bullshit earth pony magic and your pale, thin skin.
>Right hip looks like a dadaist painting, with splotches of red, purple, yellow and black.
>You could have sworn Nurse Tenderheart became whiter when she saw it,
>Every bruise and scratch is meticulously documented for the guard.
>And you look like hell.
>As the nurse was finishing up the report, somepony knocks on the door
>"This is officer Heartstrings, may I come in?"
>"No, you mustn't--
"Come in, Lyra. I'm naked though, and you might not like what you see though."
>"What do you mean- Oh, sweet Celestia!"
>You can see her wince as if she was kicked in the stomach.
"I hope you can bring me some good news"
> "... Monkey Wrench told us everything. Apparently, Pile Driver and her were lovers, so... she snapped.
> She also told us that Apple Honey was with them. The third mare. She is from out of town..
> You're in the right, Anon. There will be no charges. Nopony will dare prosecute you."
>Lyra drops her gaze
> " Apple honey tried to deny everything, but a stallion recognized her voice... as she threatened to ..educate you.
> Anon, I'm so sorry. It is my failure. I knew what Pile and Wrench were capable of. I should have
> brought them in before this happened, I could have thought of something.."
"Everything is fine. Now just let me get dressed."
>"But you're hurt!"
"No fractures, so I think I'm pretty fine."

File: 1450295452608.png (167KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

167KB, 400x400px

>>26000298

>As you exit the emergency room, you notice Bon-Bon sitting on one of the couches.
>You walk up and sit next to her
"Were you waiting for me here?"
>Bon-Bon turns to you and smiles.
>"I was. Did you show Lyra your hot alien body?"
"I did, but she didn't seem to like it. You know, because of all the injuries"
>"I read the report. You shouldn't have denied hospitalization, you know? You're in no state to work now."
"I've had worse. I saw you fight though, you even got to fly a little. When are you checking in?"
>Her smile gets just a little bit wider.
> "It doesn't pay to stoically stop punches with your face. When you roll with the punches and really sell it..
> that can be helpful. An overconfident opponent is an easy target. Wins the crowd's sympathies, too."

>"You seem to be taking it all in stride."
"I've had worse. You seem to be taking it in stride, too. Unlike everyone else."
>"I've seen worse. Ponies like to pretend stuff like murders doesn't happen, but..."
>...
>... you can feel your boot plunging into her flesh.. with a little crunch.
>...
>"Oh. Anon. Anon, stop! You did nothing wrong."
>Are you a murderer? You could have prevented this.
"I insulted them. I goaded them to attack--"
>"They decided to attack you before any of you said a word. Speaking from experience. You couldn't have swayed them."
"I didn't know you were a guard"
>"I'm not"
>She leans on you a little

>"You know, after what happened, you can expect Lyra to be looking after you a lot more."
"Won't you be looking after me too?"
>Bon turns to you and looks you in the eyes.
>"Oh Anon, I know I don't need to look after you. You're a big colt!"
"For you"
>She laughs
>"No, you're just my size. But please be kind to Lyra. She can be loopy, but she's a sweet girl."
>"And.. drop by if you ever need something"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd9OhYroLN0

>>26000256
Is this going to be like the story where Anon realizes that he killed mare and he's all, "That's hot." and becomes serial killer Anon?

>>26000312
That's it, folks. My second real green, I guess.

>>26000312
i like this...

>>26000316
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCiFO7qV54E

>>26000362
It's really good, Anon. Your writing flows well.

>>26000362
Pretty good

>>26000168
>>no small night-blind horses bumping into your knees all the time.
I like little pastel ponies having terrible nightvision

>>26000312
>Actual violence that causes tention
>No edge
Well done. You also took an original direction for Lyra and Bon's personally, so that was neat too.

File: fiona-glenanne-fiona-glenanne-4.jpg (33KB, 400x286px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 400x286px

and binned http://pastebin.com/u/HotKinkyShy

>>26000328
I kinda wrote out my own prompt from a couple of months ago. Originally yes, the anon was supposed to eventually enjoy his kill and his blamelessness.
But we kinda moved towards spies, so instead he just got the attention of a very interesting mares.

>>26000186
oh no he doesn't

>>26000410 >>26000479 >>26000500
I've failed pretty hard in this thread a few times... But writing for a good mare is easier, I guess.

>>26000518
Creatures of the day don't need no darksightings

>>26000545
Only criticism is that spanning quoted lines or sentences across several meme arrows is a bit awkward to read.

>>26000312
Write more things.

>>26000232
WAIT A MINUTE.

Is this Xenophilia based?

>>26000312
10/10 read

File: 806014__safe_solo_rainbow+dash_offspring_tank_satyr_artist-colon-mt.png (154KB, 822x800px) Image search: [Google]

154KB, 822x800px

>>26000281
Absolutely, but I simply meant it's a good start.

The most obvious launching point, however, is that Anon's kids off both genders would not fit normal roles. Marely colts who aren't afraid of getting bumps and bruises, girls that don't mind showing feelings and probably fall somewhere between girly and tomboyish by our standards.
It's almost like ponies would be almost completely unable to tell his kids genders by behavior alone.

The only thing they find more confusing than this is his not minding their strange behavior.
That, and that he taught them all his human tongue.

>>26000571
>The night was dying and someone on the internet was wrong
>You really needed an example
> " I think they can still work pretty good and not awkward if you ipsum a little
> add a little more whitespace to offset them to account for thin fonts because
> otherwise 4chan just fucks shit up, but you need way more than 3 spaces that I used "
>Satisfied, you press 'post'

If this chunk looks better - I should have used more spaces. Otherwise ok senpai.

>>26000527
The Lyra was pretty Xenophilish, I guess.
Some Xeno writers took Lyra too far into black ops territory though
I wanted to make her a
more light, idealistic, martial/artist character, and not just a combat specialist.
The yang to Bon's black-ops yin
Sweetie Drops is, however, not as skilled in combat as she is in acting and reading people.
You send Lyra to a hostage situation, and Bon - infiltrating gangs
I think I was too obvious, but the last time I tried to be subtle I ended up unintelligible.

>>26000665
Everything is Xenophilia-based because Xenophilia is based.

File: 992756__safe_solo_cute_crying_floppy+ears_moondancer_amending+fences_spoiler-colon-s05e12_artist-colon-tjpones_dancerbetes.png (175KB, 769x769px) Image search: [Google]

175KB, 769x769px

>>26000789
Fuck, 4chan eats extra whitespace.

File: 1430680177076.jpg (139KB, 800x500px) Image search: [Google]

139KB, 800x500px

>>26000312
i like thing

>>26000653
I just wrote smth now you write
spyquestria awaits
>>26000843
>you will never hold them close at night
>you will never calm them down when they start ptsding
>you will never go on an operation together

File: 1016242.png (402KB, 1288x1061px) Image search: [Google]

402KB, 1288x1061px

All mares need love.

File: 1439021820340.png (84KB, 358x515px) Image search: [Google]

84KB, 358x515px

>>26001215
But would they love you?

File: it's guard love between two guards.png (232KB, 1600x1300px) Image search: [Google]

232KB, 1600x1300px

>>26001247
Honestly, I don't know. I just picked him up and carried him home. Sometimes I suck his dick. He's never said a word.

>>26000362
Nicely done, man. You have a good ear for dialog. Extra points for Lyra and Bonbon, too.

>>26001284
He' not resisting is he, because if he is that's a bad sign.

>>26001112
>Be Anon
>Pony chicks tried to beat you up yesterday
>You kicked one on the throat and ran the fuck away because magic horses kick really fucking hard
>Later you found out the pony you kicked died like a bitch
>Go back to being handyman
>Make tonsa money fixing errythin
>Follow building code cus bitches love quality
>No fucking birdponies will smash through YOUR walls
>Go to town library and sit there weeping because >TFW no internet or tv
>Books just aren't the same
>Fuck you, books

>>26001408
I think all male guards are under a temporary paralysis spell during work hours to keep them from goofing off. But since I took him during his shift, he never got the spell removed. He's probably screaming inside there, and it makes me so wet...

>>26000196
>I didn't care what job you did, but now you tried to ruin my brother's life with your filth.
I'd like to know what Anon did to her brother. Did I miss it while reading the first time?

>>26001456
>Twilight catches Anon crying
>Assumes that Anon is traumatized at having killed a pony
>Is actually a reasonable assumption
>Doesn't want to make a colt feel uncomfortable so soon after "probably nearly being raped" or whatever the story going around is at that point
>Silently shows support by showing up wherever he goes
>Everywhere
>Waiting for him just out of sight (as not to scare him with her presence), only BARELY visible in the light of the street lamps
>Making noises outside his bedroom window at night as he's about to fall asleep (trying to think like a house burglar to find and guard the biggest design flaw of his house)
>Phoning him at all hours of the night to make sure he's safe (not saying anything but breathing heavily b/c she's so nervous to be almost-talking to Anon)

>>26001699
>Anon finds out it has been Twilight doing all that weird stuff around him at night
>Tells her that he's alright, he just needs some space
>Twilight passes a law stating that nopony is allowed within 50 feet of him at all times

>>26001860
Over-protective Princesses stalking Anon when?
Celestia and Cadence would be hilarious.

>>26000789
>>26000828
It's not really that bad, just kind of awkward. Just about every greentext story starts a new sentence at the arrow, so I'm used to it. It'd be kinda like if someone put. a period right in the middle of a sentence.

>>26001905
I always love them stories

>>25985639

It's a ritual game called One Man Hide and Seek. Basically you invite a malevolent spirit to inhabit a doll, stab it to piss it off, give it a knife and hide.

http://pastebin.com/u8WuVJqy, line 136

https://reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/2pxrgh/hide_and_seek_alone/

>>26000312
>BonBon isn't a cunt
Thank you, based anon. You have no idea how sick I am of the 'bonbon is a massive bitch to anon for unspecified reasons' trope.

>>26002542
She'd already fulfilled her cunt-quota for the day by the time she encountered Anon.
>Maybe you'll get some cuntism from her tomorrow if you stop by earlier.

I wish i was in rgre.
that way when i threaten suicide i get prime pussy around every corner

>>26002577
Pls no durnk
I like non-cunt BonBon. Or even a BonBon who's a cunt to everyone /except/ Anon and Lyra, instead of just hating anon for no reason.

>>26002598
Too bad.

>Day bon in Equestria
>You are bonbon, a mare with a terrible secret.
>Not something minor like being a serial killer.
>Nor something thats really excessively terrible, like being some kind of monosexual.
>You shudder at the mere thought of it being THAT terrible.
>No, what you have to hide is just really terrible, maybe a 7/10 on a linear scale of terribleness.
>Zero being not at all terrible, ten being the destruction of all we know and hold dear by an unopposed infestation of mo-hos.
>You are a were-cunt, half pony, half cunt.
>When the moon is out your candyvag grows to replace the rest of you until there's naught but a gigantic gaping pony pussy flapping around with a clitoris full of malice
>And since Luna's back from her exile that's most of the time.
>Stupid Princess Celestia and her being nice to her sister.
Non-cunt bonbon is indeed nice to see.

>>26002649
Why must you hurt me in this way, durnk?

>>26002674
He asked the same from his father.

>>26001538
You didn't miss anything. I decided to both keep the story short and the stallionism in the prev thread.
>>26002053
I get you senpai. I'll fix it in the bin and won't pull this shit again.
>>26002649
lol
>>26001905
>Overprotective Princesses gotta ovrprotect
>Send spies and specops mares to guard Anon.
>Anon gets guarded by ptsding mares 24/7
>Has to constantly twist up teats to keep em normal
>It's like an indy horror game except with teats

>>26002935
>Cadence stares at you intently.
>"I watch you when you sleep."
>You shiver and try to focus on your meat broth, generously provided by Celestia.
>Huh...
>Doesn't Chrysalis usually try-and-fail to sneak around you by now?
>It's midday, after all.

>>26002644
>Pic
Waiting for Nof. Gib princess herd pls.

File: Princess_Luna_reveals_herself_S2E04.png (241KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

241KB, 1280x720px

>>26003023
>...
>There's nothing you can do about it
>Develop and expose
>I feed upon your every thought
>AND SO MY POWER GROWS

>I'm made of magic
>My auras gleam
>I am perpetual
>I keep the country clean

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1B_pZC8aWU [Embed]

>>26001521
what spell, the work of male guards is to stand and look pretty, stallions are literally the best at this shit wtf

>>26001456
>Anonsy cries because tfw not qt3.14 ctrl-f
>when on the third attemp Twiggy finally musters the courage to ask what makes poor Anon feel that way
>Anon finally tells her how it is
>tfw horsebando insults books
>tfw horsebndo had better books
>tfw if you help horsebando, senpai will surely notice you
>by the power of these three feels combined, Twiggy melts down

>>26003140
/satyr/ had a pretty fun, small story about Anon herding Luna and Celestia.

>>26003574
link?

File: 1409793362298.png (376KB, 700x923px) Image search: [Google]

376KB, 700x923px

>>26003594
>25946503

Just catched up with LaP and comfy's story.
By the gods, please continue you mgnificent bastards

File: 1413353602492.png (213KB, 1000x1414px) Image search: [Google]

213KB, 1000x1414px

>>26003598
Ah I botched the link. I'll just copy paste the story if needed.

>>26003625
Not necessary, its in the archive.

>>26000312
MOAR when?

>>26003407

I see what you've done there. And I like it.

>>26002542

I'm thinking that's the end result of the Tsundere BonBon thing.

File: N6Qayog.png (656KB, 710x2027px) Image search: [Google]

656KB, 710x2027px

But what if Anon is fucking huge?
Which mares aren't intimidated by Anon's size? Which mares will risk pursuing the HMD?

File: 1011828.jpg (642KB, 750x1103px) Image search: [Google]

642KB, 750x1103px

>>26003625
>Big horse
Small horse

>>26003808
I like big humans/tiny ponies, but that might be a bit too much,

>>26001905
>Over-protective Princesses stalking Anon when?
Didn't LaP do this with celly and luna? Or was it just celly? I remember anon accidentally destroying the town after being launched while in an invincible magic bubble he was put in

>>26002674
You know what you did.
>>26003452
>You are Princess Twiggles
>Sempai Anon is sad because he doesn't have his space alien space books
>After hearing about them, you're sad you don't have them too.
>But you're a mare and mares don't cry.
>You have to be strong for sempai!
>You start crying too
>The wonders he has known, how can you possibly compete?

>>26003886
No, it was a visible giant hamster ball.
It was also Brandnewwritefag.
http://pastebin.com/juxfuj7P

File: 654992__safe_meme_lyra_bon+bon_lyra+heartstrings_looking+at+you_underhoof_sweetie+drops_love_doing+loving+things.png (439KB, 1600x1300px) Image search: [Google]

439KB, 1600x1300px

>>26002598
If you ain't in the herd, hit the road.

>>26000312
Hold the phone! I read this before!

File: rgre bon.png (186KB, 800x480px) Image search: [Google]

186KB, 800x480px

>>26000140
I was in a hurry when I was making the threadpic, as previous thread was at 490 posts.
Now I picked the actual Burn Notice logo font, used a better image source and cleaned up the outline.
I don't know if it will ever get used as the threadpic again, but I think you fellow burnoticedykes deserve the best version.

>>26003665
when I know what to write for Anon's and Auger's first encounter - before this fight.

>>26004126
did you mean this: https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25456533/#q25457170?

>>26002577
>DING DONG
>Bon Bon answers the door
>She looks grumpy as hell
>"Aw buck, it's the monkey. Here to ruin another day?"
>BEEP BEEP BEEP
>She pulls out a tiny device with a screen that reads "100%"
>Smiling pleasantly, the mare invites you in and offers you tea and cookies.
>You have a nice conversation for the next hour or so before you go back home.

>RGRE thread
>No green where mare proposes to Anon
>Only green of mares being flustered and protective around Anon

Why live?

File: 448704__safe_solo_monochrome_bon+bon_sweetie+drops_artist-colon-mewball.png (77KB, 942x851px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 942x851px

>>26004472
Nice Bon a good.

>>26004540
>your dream writefag will never exist
>they will never produce quality stories that change the face of RGRE forever, for the better
>you will never have your fill of excellent stories
>you will never cuddle them and hold their hand

>>26004559
that's disgusting, keep your sick fetishes out of this sfw board

File: 1416243007419.jpg (126KB, 900x1260px) Image search: [Google]

126KB, 900x1260px

>>26003873
>not liking big pone

>>26004576
Those fucking noodle legs.

>>26004540
>Be Anon
>One of the ponies proposes to you,like in one of those cheesy romance films.
>You turn them down because marriage isn't something you just do on a whim.
>The ponice show up and arrest you for being to sensible
>Since you are male you are released on the condition that you are supervised by a pony
>Rarity is chosen because they figure she'll teach you how to be romantic instead of practical
>>26004576
bigpon is nicepon
Would you hold bigpon's hoof in your hand?
Your soft, lewdly dexterous hand?
>>26004559
>>26004574
What if you forced a pony to hold your hand?

File: 1427871500588.png (572KB, 1200x1200px) Image search: [Google]

572KB, 1200x1200px

>>26004581
>not liking noodle legs

>>26000312
Sometimes before or after character's speech you forget to put quotes.

>>26004552
What a cute

>>26004629

>tfw you will never go to Disneyland with your giant horse waifus

It hurts.

File: 837225__solo_solo+female_monochrome_princess+celestia_suggestive_alternate+hairstyle_wip_artist-colon-longinius_rarity's+secret_horn+jewelry.png (292KB, 871x1230px) Image search: [Google]

292KB, 871x1230px

>>26004576
Too big. When the princesses can work as large comfy blankets, then it's okay.

Tfw you write a line you would never expect to hear in real life, but it works in the story.

File: fill this with satyrs.png (2MB, 1500x1800px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1500x1800px

>>26004770
Dresses up horse is pretty.

File: 874012__safe_fluttershy_monochrome_belly_anon_pregnant_bellyrubs_artist-colon-dotkwa.png (84KB, 834x682px) Image search: [Google]

84KB, 834x682px

>>26004793
So pretty Saddle-Arabians are so rarely seen.

And the filename. Oh yes, you are correct.

>>26004628

>"You're a handsome stallion Anon and any mare would be lucky to have you. So why not just go for it and say yes?"
>"Rarity, I didn't even know who Cheerilee was until she proposed to me. Marrying someone you just met sounds like a terrible idea."
>"*sigh* There you go with that sensibility again! Honestly Anon, do you have no sense of whimsy?"
>"I do, just not concerning huge life-changing decisions like marriage."
>"It worked for my parents!"
>"The same parents who regularly dump your sister on you to go on 'vacation'?"
>"... Okay, that may not be the best example. But I stand by my point. Anon, is everyone in your world so cautious about romance?"
>"No, but you hear tons of horror stories about abusive relationships, divorces, and gold diggers."
>"... That's really depressing, darling."
>"Yep!

File: 1049784__oc_rarity_questionable_straight_human_oc-colon-anon_femdom_riding+crop_leather_artist-colon-riggyrag.png (691KB, 1600x1200px) Image search: [Google]

691KB, 1600x1200px

>>26004868
Ever the romantic. I like her.

>>26004903

>"Rarity, how is engaging in BDSM with you supposed to make me more 'romantic'?"
>"Oh you'll see, darling."
"... Not sure if I'm aroused, terrified, or both."

File: 1363805031262.png (284KB, 1000x900px) Image search: [Google]

284KB, 1000x900px

>>26004552
Sad Bon.

>>26005293
Aww, I'd tell that mare her little kumis factories are fine the way they are.

File: Anon Bonbon Satyr offspring.jpg (197KB, 392x602px) Image search: [Google]

197KB, 392x602px

>>26005310
I had to Google that.

>>26005293

And I just read Bon Bon's Acceptance, too.

She's actually sensitive about having overly large teats and a too-small horsepussy...and squirting orgasms.

File: 1394905848564.png (85KB, 424x618px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 424x618px

>>26005372
I'm glad to have opened your mind to new possibilities.

>>26005392
>Lots of milk.
>Lots of anal.
>Lots of squash soup.
The perfect mare. Bon Bon for herd alpa girl.

File: large.png (567KB, 901x1024px) Image search: [Google]

567KB, 901x1024px

>>26005392
As long as they aren't Milky sized, bigger is fine. But yeah, Acceptance and its prequel are pretty good.

>>26003808
Who is this artist? I must have more tiny horse comics for... reasons.

>>26004868
"Okay Anon, here's your first lesson in whimsy. Here is a bag of filled with bits. I want you to go out into the market square and buy whatever your heart desires. If you want something, even just a little bit, go ahead and buy it. I'll be waiting right here."
>You watch Anon walk off into the crowd
>He's such a sweet colt, but he's so down to Equis
>No sense of whimsy, serendipity, or simple romance
>What a poor place he must have come from
>It almost reminds you of Pinkie's sister, Maud, but even she had little moments that made her equine
>But, hopefully this excursion will help him let go a bit-
>He's back already...
"Back so soon, darling? It's only been... five minutes."
>Well, at least he did buy /something/
"Well, don't be shy. Show me what you bought."
>He gives you the bag and inside was....
"Groceries!?"
>"Yeah, Carrot Top was having a sale, so I though about making stew for everyone. Got the whole bag for three bits."
"But what about you!?"
>"Well, there's enough for me to have some too."
>You gave him a hundred bits to do what he pleases and he buy a healthy meal for everyone
>On sale no less
>You have a long way to go

>>26005464
He should have invested in stock and returned the money to her tenfold.

>>26005506
He invests it, reinvests, and then two years later he OWNS Ponyville

>"Man, whimsy is fun."

>>26005506
They don't sell shares at the Ponyville market square I think.

>>26005464
Cadence being a co-conspirator when?

>>26003886
Shukaku also did something like that
http://pastebin.com/8CshK90F

>>26005392
>>26005454
>>26005420
>>Lots of milk.
>>Lots of anal.
>>Lots of squash soup.
Uhhh, gonna need a link to that story.

File: 53385__safe_lyra_human_artist-moronsonofboron_hybrid.png (170KB, 700x700px) Image search: [Google]

170KB, 700x700px

>>26005628
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/248113/bon-bons-acceptance

>>26005454
>As long as they aren't Milky sized
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait.

Did you just talk shit about Milky? Is that what just happened?

>>26005633
Oh, that. Yeah I dropped that about 3 or 4 chapters in. It gets better, though?

File: Lyra tells you how she wants it.png (538KB, 2000x2000px) Image search: [Google]

538KB, 2000x2000px

>>26005651
If you didn't like the first few chapters then I doubt you'll like the rest.

>>26005678
>"Fuck my butt, Anon."
"Lyra we're in the middle of the market."
>"Did I stutter?"
"Well when you put it that way..."
>And then you fucked her butt.
>Today was a ponuts and coffee day.

>>26005705
>ponuts and coffee
Dammit, now I'm hungry.

>>26005716
Order mint flavored.

>>26005716
I'm not even sorry.

>>26005464
I like this.

>>26005651
Why the hell would you drop it?

File: 1450045230_pusspuss_comand_me_cropped_outfit.jpg (93KB, 1084x1280px) Image search: [Google]

93KB, 1084x1280px

>>26005651

He's honestly better at writing the clop scenes than the bits in between. The later stories are much more less padding between scenes and flow better, IMHO.

Lily is fairly unf-y in the most recent story, for example.

>>26005705
>ponies have virtually no sex taboos
>they just fuck when they feel like it wherever they happen to be
>sometimes spectators will gather to cheer them on
I like this Equestria.

>>26005759
I love tail docks.

>>26005640

Nothing wrong with Miss Lost-muh-job.

The only pony I can think of that -needs- some extra support down there, though. That's a trial every big-boobed girlfriend I've had has.

>>26005764
>ponies have virtually no sex taboos
But if there is no taboos then there is a fair chance of getting cucked, Anon.

>>26005786
VIRTUALLY no taboos. They have a few, just not many.

>>26005766
I want to pinch it.

>>26005784
Fair enough.

I would be more than willing to provide her said support, in addition to helping her relieve the pressure of production those glorious milkers create. Straight from the tap, all day, 'ere day.

>>26005464

"Okay, here's our next lesson. We're going to watch some romantic movies and I want you to try and imitate what you see the colts there doing. Understand?"
>The two of you were at the Ponyville movie theater.
>Anon just couldn't grasp why whimsy was so important.
>So you brought him here to show him!
>And to maybe go on a date with him?
>Anon sighs, "I have no choice either way since I'm legally required to do what you say until I have the legal minimum amount of whimsy."
>You frowned.
"It doesn't have to be that bad, you know."
>"Let's just get this over with."
>The two of you decide to see the first movie in the Sparkle Saga, that new vampony romance film series that was popular with teenage colts right now.
>Surely this will get Anon to understand!

File: 1404808619760.jpg (226KB, 1155x997px) Image search: [Google]

226KB, 1155x997px

>>26005833
Good choice.

>>26005903
Not gonna lie, from the thumbnail Anon's hand looks like a massive shit.

>>26005899
>>Anon sighs, "I have no choice either way since I'm legally required to do what you say until I have the legal minimum amount of whimsy."
wat

>>26005752
It was okay, but not great and not on par with some of his other stuff. I was also studying for the GRE at the time, so free time was prioritized to get the most bang for the buck. Now that that's over, and in light of >>26005420, I may give it another look.

>>26005458
Here you go. http://m.imgur.com/a/VgQbO

More mino-tits when? [\spoiler]

>>26005458
"raridashdoodles"
https://derpibooru.org/tags/artist-colon-raridashdoodles

>>26005931
Ew.

https://derpiboo.ru/1060309

>>26005977

Here>>26004628
>Since you are male you are released on the condition that you are supervised by a pony.
>Rarity is chosen because they figure she'll teach you how to be romantic instead of practical.

File: image.jpg (46KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 500x500px

So fillies, i was wondering, is Futa (stallions with slits) gay?

File: 92602__solo_applejack_animated_3d_wat_grotesque_nightmare+fuel_not+salmon_glitch_this+isn't+even+my+final+form.gif (419KB, 384x384px) Image search: [Google]

419KB, 384x384px

>>26006680
What?

>>26006680

>Monosexuality
>Ever

Go away you filthy degenerate.

>>26006719
You know this erotic comics when they draw stallions but with vaginas, i was wondering is this gay

>>26006759
Cuntboys. What does this have to with the thread?

>>26006770
He's roleplaying. Pretending that we're in the RGRE world and that we're mares.

File: image.jpg (63KB, 597x516px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 597x516px

>>26006680
Futa is mares with dicks, not stallions with cunts. Do you mean cunts with no dick? Those are called cuntboys (or cuntcolts, I suppose).

If you meant a stalliony body with both sets of genetalia, I'm not sure what it's called. But it's not futa.

Regardless, yes, it is gay. Bailey Hay said so herself.

>>26006862
It means hermaphrodite, so in RGRE they might eventually take it to mean stallion with cunt rather than girl with dick (as no one wants to fuck a girl, that's gay).

>>26006680
It's totally not gay. Stark and Captain America explained it

File: 1409391223292.jpg (124KB, 590x583px) Image search: [Google]

124KB, 590x583px

I like futas (mares with both parts) but could we just drop the topic?

>>26006934
Gee whiz, if only someone could write some green. Like me.

>>26006934
Futa mares just look weird. Now, futa humans. . . that is muh fetish.

>>26006891
It's specifically a female with additional male genetalia.

Like, you can't just straight up change the meaning of words for RGRE. If we did that it'd just get confusing.

For example, you can't just say 'oh btw I'm going to call gay mares yaoi because they're the equivalent of human males in terms of societal structure even though yaoi refers specifically to male on male stuff'.

>>26007036
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Futanari
>Beyond Japan the term is used to describe a commonly pornographic genre of eroge, comics and anime, which includes characters that show both primary sexual characteristics
It also says that it now means a woman with a dick, but at the beginning it meant both.
I'm not changing anything. I'm saying what I've read.

>Anon wants his mare to use a strap on
>He talks to her about it and she thinks it's really weird
>Mare sees it as taking a submissive role and she ain't having none of that
>Anon cannot find a way to convince her and even then, it turns out that they don't exist yet
>And so his journey begins

>>26006998
>Futa mare? Never get the appeal but fapped a few times on this pic with 4 Futa princesses with balls like my fists... Still i was just curious what the equivalent of futa in RGRE in Equestria?

File: 738377__explicit_applejack_blushing_edit_vaginal+secretions_bondage_drool_bridle_bdsm_whip.png (650KB, 1196x1468px) Image search: [Google]

650KB, 1196x1468px

Ya'll didn't hear this from me, but if'n yer inta coltdom, ah hear that new ape colt in town'll be glad ta put any mare in 'er place.

>Humans are seen as being legendary creatures by the Crystal Ponies, like how unicorns are for us.
>Many myths surround them, ranging from alicorn-like status to Arthurian-like legends.
>When the Heart was restored, Anon is spat out in-front of a flabbergasted audience.
>Controversy and crisis when it's seen he's a male.
>Complete chaos.
>Various cults and ideologically-opposed groups fracture the Empire's population.
>Some want him to marry Cadence, while another subset want Shining executed to make way.
>Others want him to take control completely, ousting Equestria.
>Others believe he's like a unicorn, shying away from non-virgins.
>Others want him to marry Luna and Celestia to properly unify with Equestria.
>Subgroups again, either pro or against his being male and being in a certain role.
>Etcetera.
>Anon gives no fucks and is unaware, and settles into a normalish life.

>>26006998
Back to your containment thread.

>>26007123
too gay
wouldnt read

File: milkiest daughter.png (145KB, 750x750px) Image search: [Google]

145KB, 750x750px

>>26007161
Unify the minotaurs, centaurs, cave trolls, cloud gremlins and other demi-humans into a single nation.

>>26007161
>>Some want him to marry Cadence, while another subset want Shining executed to make way.
>Others want him to take control completely, ousting Equestria.
Well that got extreme pretty quick.

>>26007076
>futa is female with ponos + vogoo (bolls not required)
>shemale is female with ponos&bolls (vogoo not required)
>cuntboy is boy with vogoo

This is what I've learnt by using the tags on the sites I frequent.

>>26007307
I don't know what you're trying to say.

>>26007161
I'd read the fuck outta this
>Shiny plagued by assassin attempts
>royal guard is only trained in defense so they don't hurt themselves, those poor, airheaded colts
>Shiny was made Captain because he had the nicest ass
>Candyass forced to pursue Anon or face peasant uprising
>Stallionists catch wind of the drama and try to use Anon as a champion for their cause

Delicious

WOULD YOU FUCKERS SLOW DOWN?!?
I'm behind a full thread now... AGAIN.

File: 1398841472845.png (142KB, 1067x1139px) Image search: [Google]

142KB, 1067x1139px

>>26008159
Please stop it reminds me of my mare yelling

>>26008269
#triggered

Guys I've got it I'VE GOT IT
A story, right? About, get this:
A mare, in a writing group or something, and the writing group is doing something about, get this:
A reversed gender roles Equestria
Like, they're doing stuff about a world where females are the second class citizens to males and all that
I think we can make it work.

File: Filthy Acts At A Fair And Reasonable Price.gif (1019KB, 499x279px) Image search: [Google]

1019KB, 499x279px

>>26008341
I can't deal with this many layers.

>>26008159
Fuck you, I wish other non-shit threads had this much green.

>>26005454
>As long as they aren't Milky sized
wtf is wrong with you you disgusting casual, get the fuck out.

>>26008527
THAT'S what I'm sayin'.

This thread needs moar Milky, and giant crotchboobs in general.

>Milky Way will never fill a bath with her milk for you, take a picture of it, then post it online, bragging about how much you love her production

File: 6d2e0700c18ba561be2fad5ecc13c76e.jpg (74KB, 800x521px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 800x521px

>>26008650
>>26008655
u-unf

File: bald eagle rising (lg).gif (2MB, 400x240px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 400x240px

>>26008655
>>26008697

>>26008650
>>26008655
Milky Way is the most envied mare in Equestria because crotchboobs are the equivalent of ball-size in Equestria.
Anon hooks up with her because they remind him of human mammaries.
Anon is best trophy husband.
All the mares are FURIOUS because they all wanted Anon given how low-maintenance and marely he is.

File: Dairy-products.jpg (283KB, 1299x955px) Image search: [Google]

283KB, 1299x955px

>>26008834
The only non-bovines in Anon's harem are incredibly well endowed, be they mares or griffons.
The things he can do with milk impress even his minotaurs.

>You are lying awake at night, in your bed, in your lover's room.
>Fillydelphian hotel, second floor, farthest door from the staircase. Large window to the left of the princess-sized bed.
>...
>No, your mare doesn't actually live in a hotel.
>Her private home, a modest but cozy two-story thing, is nothing like a hotel.
>But at night, when it was too dark to discern the embroidered throw pillows, you felt yourself in a different place.
>That Fillydelphian hotel.
>You were travelling there for business. A professional conference of sorts.
>Staying the night in a room just like this one. It was most probably a herds' suite,
>And on the second night, you awoke to something rather unsettling...

File: Giant_manchildren_monkey_abducts_sissy_mare_from_her_wedding_and_subjects_her_to_hours_of_constant_snu_snu_Sexy_rapist_still_at_large_More_news_at_eleven.jpg (450KB, 950x629px) Image search: [Google]

450KB, 950x629px

>>26004576
Small pone is best pone.

big pone is ok, i guess.

>>26009232

>...a bang, a flash, and shredded meat - right outside your window.
>Now, that wasn't really surprising.
>In fact, if you stretched the facts just a little, you could say that you hoped to see exactly that.

>See, that happened at the very beginning of your current career.
>You were sent to a military and security exhibition, to tail certain persons of interest, make some contacts, plant some scrying devices...
>Routine stuff.
>Nopony knew you yet, and you decided to cash in on it, booking the slightly swankier, indefensible suite to pass as a business representative for a silver mining company.
>And to enjoy the comforts too, of course.
>The plan was almost flawless. You were so conspicuous that nobody suspected anything from you.
>In fact, you flagged some of your fellow Griffonian professionals while they were none the wiser!

>But trying too hard to appear as someone you are not, you forgot the part where you also don't want to attract too much attention.
>When the Zebrican competitors of your cover ID's employer decided to send a message, they chose to send it through you.
>And Zebrican military gals are not known for subtlety
>So, on the second night, you got late guests.
>They weren't trying to be subtle. They were going for a smash-and-grab with living goods, and they charged in right through the glass.

>>26009264

>Now.
>Most ponies know from popular novels how thunder crystals work. Even Daring Do used them to daze her dastardly opponents!

>Thunder crystals are commonly made from degraded mana stores, by binding to them a shattering spell targeted inwards.
>On impact, all the energy stored is released in an explosion.
>Any enchanter will also know that the spell doesn't have to be targeted inwards.
>When bound to the crystal's surface, it will detonate not only the mana store, but also any other magically potent crystal on contact.
>This usually happens by mistake, and may cost the careless enchanter her life.
>Something they don't teach in school is that a spellsmith skilled enough to mix elemental magic can make these detonators work on magically inert glass.
>You just need a better power store.

>Luckily, you were friends with a certain Moondancer that made you these without asking too much questions.
>Her design was pretty ingenious.
>To arm it, you would need an evershine crystal from any common light source.
>You then place both the detonator and the evershine snug against the glass.
>Throw on a scarf on top, and the ensemble looks like something that came out of Rarity's store. It doesn't look dangerous.

>That is why the two pegasi crashing through you window got a load of high-velocity glass shards.
>As they cracked the glass, the spell was released, launching the pieces back towards the force of the blow.
>When an evershine gets drained, glows. Drained instantly, it exploded with a flash..
>That is how the bloody image of the last living moments of two rent-a-thugs got burned into your mind.

>>26009264

*...clang... *

>Someone lurking outside?
>...
>Nah.
>Sounds like somepony picked a fight with a trash container.
>Out of habit, you test the local emotion auras.
>Changelings can use it to pinpoint targets behind stone walls.
>It's extremely hard to learn for anyone but changelings though.
>After years of practice, the best you can get are vague scents.
>Like the strong, satisfied calm to your right. That's your lover...
>...and at the edge of feeling, hints of distant malice.
>And fear.

>Before you know it, you are already wearing your sapping shoes.
>Good thing you weren't going to sleep anyway.
>As you are running to the stairs, you hear somepony run up to your front door.
>You can _hear_ them lean on the wall. Heavy breathing.
>Letting your unwanted guest make the first move, you hide behind a wall corner.
>This wasn't the first time you ambushed someone in your own home.

Thread needs more yandere-RGRE, methinks.
Because batshit Sun Horse, Moon Butt, and "Wrong Hole!" Princess are awesome.

>>26009351

>"Lyra! Bon! Help me!"
>With a thud, your unlikely guest stumbles inside, closes the door and sits heavily on the floor.
>He is winded. His heart is pumping so loud you can hear it upstairs.
>You quickly discard your weapons and hurry to his side
"Anonymous? Is this you?"
>"Bon, I was going home, and there were these three mares, they"
>Breathing heavy, but free and unobstructed. Slight scent of blood, inconsistent with serious bleeding.
"You're limping. Did they hit you?"
>You link to the earth beneath. His footprints on dirt are still burning with mana flows, the sign of a magic void that just passed through.
>The prints are far apart and come from the same direction as the metallic clang you heard earlier.
>He was running fast. Assuming no fractures then. No grievous injuries.
>He is obviously shaken though. A calming touch should handle that.
>You place your hooves on his shoulders and start channeling.
>"--they attacked me, so I hit back, and then I just--"
>Huh. Magic void.
>What should feel like a gentle breath of calmness leaving your body feels like lifting a slippery boulder from a swamp.
>You don't show it though.
"You did everything right. It's ok, you're safe now. We'll handle things from here."

>>26009498

>"Bonnie? What's the commotion? Oh, hello Anon!"
>Look who woke up!
>You always joked that Lyra is in fact not a unicorn, but a sleep pony.
"Good morning sleepyhead. Anon got jumped, and ran to us for safety."
>Perhaps she won't get what you just said and will go back to bed?
>"Where did it happen? Anon, do you know who it was?"
>Oh no. You just got the colt to calm down and here your sweetheart is wasting all this effort!
>You didn't just waste so much mana for nothing!
>"Calm d--"
"You will have to forgive Lyra and her guard training, Anon. You know what they say about guards. Give them a fulcrum and they fall asleep! Sleep through anything, too! I'm surprised she even got up!"
>Yes. Let her be annoyed at you.
>"Bon-Bon, stop it! We've got to go and handle this!"
"No we don't. There is nopony there to handle. They probably fled as soon as Anon got here."
>You close your eyes and test the auras just in case.
>Lyra's righteous anger. Anon's void. And somewhere from afar, looming fear and sorrow.
>As you move your head and try to pinpoint where this sorrow is coming from, the scent of blood becomes stronger.
>It's on his boots.
>Just how hard did you hit them back, sweetie?
>...this could explain the sorrow.
>The night is going to be a long one.
>"By the way, thanks to Anon, identifying them won't be that hard... but we should move out and look at the place, just in case. Anon, will you show us where it happened?"

>What the tartarus did you get yourself into, monkey-boy?

>>26009526
That's for now. I couldn't resist, and instead of writing a fresh green I pumped some Bon Notice exposition and Bon's PoV of Anon coming to her house for aid.

So, that's that.

File: High Class Whorse.png (41KB, 631x626px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 631x626px

>>26009487
>"Wrong Hole!" Princess
I don't think she's a very good horse, but she has very good taste.

>>26009498
I think you quoted the wrong post.
>>26009551
Pls more
>>26009351
Super spy anon gonna kick some ass

>>26009595
>I think you quoted the wrong post.
Shit. I hope this doesn't make you anonsies too confused.

>Pls more
I needed to get some social interactions in and I wrote technobabble instead. I'm still thinkgen how to bring you more

>Super spy anon gonna kick some ass
We're a long way from that. But Bon obviously has some plans for him

>>26009568
Celestia likes it missionary-style.
Luna's... adventurous.
Cadence likes it in the pooper, but sometimes changes it up by regular sex.

Anon is practically burlap sacked into the Royal Herd, waking up in Sun Horse's bed.

By day, Luna is in 'their' bed; by night, it's Celestia. Cadence frequently visits, frustrated, because Shining would rather play Hyperwars.

>>26009694
>TFW no /tg/ horsebando to play tabletop with

>>26009805
I'll take the second option.

File: sampson option.jpg (10KB, 228x221px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 228x221px

>>26009805
If you guys are the master race, how come your invasions always fail?

File: shrugdagio.png (326KB, 690x714px) Image search: [Google]

326KB, 690x714px

>>26009805
Here's your reply.

>>26009805
>Not doing both.
/pol/ you're still a disappointment.

>>26009826
>>26009835
>>26009841
>replying to shitposters

>>26009818
I missed you out go read this >>26009862

>>26005392
Link?

File: 1214235645.jpg (75KB, 615x615px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 615x615px

>>26009805
>implying I'd even want to fuck no hooves

File: thatFaceWhenNoFace.jpg (55KB, 600x848px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 600x848px

>>26007321
Anon is saying your wrong

>>26009694
>>26009733

>"I mean it's great that we have something in common but he always wants to play Hyperspace Hyperwars when I want to have sex! It's maddening!"

>>26009969
WELL THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S QUEER

File: por_que_no_los_dos.jpg (55KB, 625x430px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 625x430px

>>26010059
>he always wants to play Hyperspace Hyperwars when I want to have sex!

>>26010103
Hyperspace Hypersex?

>>26010126
warhammer 40k in the RGRE

>>26010126
Is that just Hyperspace Hyperwars but played while having sex?

>>26010153
Nah, HH units have two sets of stats. One for combat, one for sex. It's VERY LARPy in a good way.

>>26010126
>>26010189
Where the players have to act out what's going on in the playing field? Sounds like fun.

>>26010215
It also helps determine who wins the "fights"

>>26010328
You know what you must do

>>26007161
>Anon shooting out of a heart
>Would make him the male version of Aphrodite?
>Discord gives the Alicorns a apple saying that whoever eats it gets Anon's love.
>They decide to hold a competition.
>Applejack wants in because Apple.
>Anon just wanted to be AiE and doesn't know that just being here is causing shit like war or whatever...
>story becomes story of Troy told out of order with more horses.
>Profit?

I'm drunk..

>>26010153
We already tried that didn't go so well

>>26010452
Did you have to roll for anal circumference?

>>26010498

> "And before I knew it, she'd infiltrated a platoon's worth of guards."
> "And here's the kicker. She pulls that platoon out of her ass!"
"I know, Creed is fucking golden when you've got him, but -"
> "No, no, literally. Out. Of. Her. Ass."
> "Had to roll for Anal Circumference and everything. I'm just lucky it wasn't enough for a Titan."

>>26008834
Cue Milky Way smugly bragging to her friends about how Anon handles her teats
"He does this thing with his mouth that is SO MUCH better than when he twists my teats"

File: 1447382624325.png (372KB, 1400x875px) Image search: [Google]

372KB, 1400x875px

>>26010808
L-Lewd

>>26010808
oh my

File: 1387406555262.jpg (430KB, 1142x925px) Image search: [Google]

430KB, 1142x925px

>>26010808
better be careful

theyre gonna send derpy after her

File: they_will_come_back.jpg (16KB, 300x240px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 300x240px

>Amoeba comes back every three months to continue Spank.
>Frosty won't continue Prince Anon or GoodOlGirls.
>HotKinkyShy is AWOL, and they took their bisexual horses with them.

A-At Least LaP is back.

>>26011191
everyone is dying anon

soon we will be all alone

File: Hope walks in on her dad twisting her moms teats.png (1MB, 2500x2489px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2500x2489px

>>26011318
Time to repopulate.

>>26011191
Did frosty just give up on them or what?

File: The_Incredible_Expanding_Man_demonstrates_his_abilities_to_a_classroom_full_of_children_once_more.gif (1021KB, 444x250px) Image search: [Google]

1021KB, 444x250px

>Cheerilee asks Anon, out of 'professional interest', to talk to the fillies and colts about the human world and how human colts act and do.
>Cue Anon going to their school the next day and doing exactly that.

>>26009944
The /pol/lack never said anything about the species of the pussy you'll be getting, Anon.

>>26009862
>Not taking their funposting as just another writing prompt

>>26010397
>Anon doesn't give a fuck about who got some silly apple
"You can't expect to have my romantic interest just because some mismatched tosser threw some fruit at you."
>Sadponies.tapestry
"That doesn't mean you can't come hang out some time though."
>[Hopeful pony noises]

>>26011191
Why don't you try writing then?

File: 1423983526925.png (554KB, 1500x1200px) Image search: [Google]

554KB, 1500x1200px

>>26011373
I like the way you think, anon.

File: full (8).png (483KB, 900x794px) Image search: [Google]

483KB, 900x794px

"Spare a few bits? Miss?"
>Another mare walks past you, pointedly avoiding eye-contact.
"Just a bit, ma'am, that's all I need."
>This time the mare looks at you, but glances away and begins to walk faster.
"Please. Sir, I need to eat. Anything will do-"
>"Get away from me!"
>You barely dodge the stallion's kicking hooves and feel light-headed from the sudden movement.
>It's been two days since you've last eaten, and by the looks of your stockpile of bits, it's dry mac&cheese for dinner again.
>If you get the correct ratio of crunchy noodles and cheese powder, you can ALMOST pretend that you don't think about killing yourself every night.
>Sigh...
>Time to break out the sign again...
>"Will Do Anything For 20 Bits"
>And now we play the waiting game; the most dangerous game of all.
>You once had a nice mare who brought you back to her house for a meal and a hot bath.
>She even let you keep the 20 bits.
>She said that it was such a shame to see a stallion like you out on the streets, and that she was sorry that she couldn't spare more.
>You still see her once or twice a week, and she always gives you enough for some soup or a coffee.
>And then there was this one time some crippled pegasus paid you so that you could tell her for an entire night that her wings were beautiful.
>She was a crier.
>You let her keep her money.
>You're brought out of your thoughts by an orange hoof kicking your sign over.
>"Ah done thought Ah told you not tuh bring yer whorin' ways near mah stall!"
>Oh, good. It's HER.
>You don't even bother arguing with her; it's never done you any good.
>You sigh and get to your feet, bending over to grab your cardboard advertisement, but she stomps it into the ground.
>"Git!"
>You don't even get a chance to grab your bits; you just high-tail it out of there and run to your home away from home: under a nearby bridge.
>Well, there goes dinner.
>It's cool, though.
>You don't like dry mac&cheese anyway.

File: milky_way_plushie_by_buttercupbabyppg-d68r1z5.jpg (186KB, 794x1006px) Image search: [Google]

186KB, 794x1006px

>>26008650
These used to be sold on Amazon. They listed it as Tinkle Bell, but come on. Only one mare has tits like that.

>>26011684
>Make the story about Scootaloo
>Shes treated like dirt cause shes a filly not a colt
>Anon see this and picks her up

>>26010863
>>26008697
Teats so fine, they make you wanna lie down and beg for buttermilk.

File: 1386805541299.png (51KB, 609x694px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 609x694px

>>26011748
I would rescue abused and tossed away fillies off the streets.

>>26011764
It reminds me of the first bioshock ending

>You could have left them there but instead, you helped her
>You raised her with all your strength and love
>And what is your reward?
>A family

>>26011684
>Anon is homeless
>pony waifu rescues him

want badly

>>26011764
The world hates street urchins and the only ones that get adopted are cute colts. Anon comes along and see a filly in a box starving and just picks them up without a second thought.

>>26011684
Why doesn't Anon start screaming rape when Treekicker is abusing him?

>>26011684
I'd love to read more of this

File: image.jpg (73KB, 375x903px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 375x903px

>>26011373
NO
YOU RUINED YOUR OWN THREAD
DONT RUIN A SECOND ONE

File: i wonder how painful drowning is.png (290KB, 1111x1111px) Image search: [Google]

290KB, 1111x1111px

>>26012246
Treekicker is a well-respected member of the community. And also an Element.

>>26012330
k

>>26011684
>Stupid stuck-in-her-ways tree-kicker pony.
>You thought that she was delightfully old-fashioned when you first arrived in Big E.
>That was before you found out that her southern whimsy included the racism part.
>Caught her muttering about "got-dang bird-ponies" when she chased her cyan pegasus friend out of one of her trees.
>Let's just say that while Apple Bloom sure took a shine to you, Applejack did NOT.
>Seems that with what little (read: non-existent) legal powers and rights that you had, you didn't really stand a chance against a smear campaign spear-headed by the Element of Honesty.
>"Ah caught the alien innuh clubhouse doin' THINGS with mah Apple Bloom"
>Those "THINGS" was having a tea party with Bloomy and her two friends.
>You take this time to fall unconscious from the exertion of running your starving body across town to hide from the orange menace.

>>26012510
Fuck, son. Applejack's a cunt in this one.

File: adf.png (586KB, 1280x980px) Image search: [Google]

586KB, 1280x980px

>>26012215
>You kick the air in front of you
>Something you regret immediately as your overworked legs ache even worse
>Fucking Biscuit
>That fucking whorse called in "sick"
>If he was actually sick you would eat your apron
>Because of that shit you had to pull a double at the diner
>Meaning you are just now on your home and the sun is already down
>It doesn't help that this shithole of a town is too small to have streetlights
>With a sigh you continue your walking (now with a visible limp) home
>Ever so often you would mumble a curse at your coworker who fucked you over
>After a few minutes walking you decided to rest your legs
>With a quiet "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!" you sat down on the cold bench.
>you sit there for a bit letting your legs regain some strength
>It isnt long before the cold bench saps away enough heat that you regret ever coming to equestria
>You still cant believe that one bastard was right
>Mixing pepsi, coke, pop rocks, ammonia, and bleach together and drinking it totally worked
>Hell you cant believe you were dumb enough to try it
>The sound of a voice takes you out of your thoughts
>Looking around you try to spot where it came from
>Again you hear it but this time you recognize it as a moan
>Standing up, the pain in your legs temporarily forgotten, you walk over to the other side of the road where you heard the voice
>at first you don't see anything then you catch a glimpse of purple fluttering from behind a bush
>Carefully you peek around it, thoughts full of every crime show where that unsuspecting faggot finds a body and freaks out
>On the other side of the bush you see...a brown filly wrapped in a ragged patchwork quilt
>Her face looks bruised under her pale brown fur and her mane is ragged
>She is shuddering under that flimsy piece of cloth
>You stare at her for what seems like an hour as your brain tries to process what it is seeing
>A pony, a filly at that, apparently homeless

File: large.png (678KB, 679x992px) Image search: [Google]

678KB, 679x992px

>>26012781
>No sir this is not the Equestria you wanted to end up in
>No cute little pony would ever have to suffer there
>You ended up in some sort nega-equestria where colts are treated like property and little fillies sleep in the streets unprotected
>Your back only protests mildly as you lift the far too light pony off the ground quilt and all
>She can stay at your house for a few nights until you find a place fo-
>Your thoughts are interrupted as a piece of cardboard drops from the bundle in your arms
>It lands on the ground with the writing on it facing up
>"Will do ANYTHING for bits"
>Your eyes are locked onto that little rectangle of processed wood pulp
>Holding her tighter to your chest you can feel it
>The armor of your people
>The armor of a Internet White Knight. Invisible yet gleaming.
>With a renewed vigor you carry your burden to your home
>Where she will be welcome to stay as long as she wants
>And where she can live under the shelter of your imaginary fedora

>It doesn't take long to arrive at your home
>The filly in your arms never stirred the entire time
>This is a cause of great worry to you
>You throw open the door and carry her to your couch
>Luckily it seems that your guardian must have just went home
>Since you didn't have a mare to look after you Twilight Sparkle assigned you a guardian to watch over you
>She comes by and checks on you every day
>You had sent word to her earlier that you would be pulling a double so she must have come over to make sure your house would be warm for you
>Bon Bon is such a nice mare
>Shedding your coat and the raggedy quilt off her you grab the fluffy comforter of your bed and wrap it around your back
>You then plop the both of you down right in front of the fire and wait
>Within seconds you feel the warmth of the fire start flowing into you
>The heat feels good on your aching legs
>You almost jump when you feel the filly move against your chest
>She snuggles closer to you and nuzzles her face on your chest

File: 1013056__safe_oc_human_crying_artist+needed_fwslash-mlp-fwslash_oc-colon-anon_hand_bruised_oc-colon-morning+glory.png (307KB, 676x740px) Image search: [Google]

307KB, 676x740px

>>26012792
>If you hadn't developed a resistance to the pony adorableness in the last few months that right there probably would have killed you
>You brush your hand through her mane
>It was unkempt and dirty but still somehow soft
>Almost on its own your and repeats its journey through her mane only pausing to stroke her cheek with your thumb
>She flinches a bit as you brush against a bruise
>A bruise that you angrily notice is shaped like a hoof mark
>Your anger fades quickly as you keep stroking her mane feeling the warmth slowly creep through her

>You awake with a start
>Grogily you look around your living room
>About the only thing you notice is that it is dark as your mind reaches for memories as to why you would wake up here
>its about that time you feel something soft and warm shift in your lap
>That's right the filly
>You yawn and stretch your back out
>Looks like you fell asleep in front of the fire which has burned low
>The scene outside the window shows that its still dark out
>Gently you put your arms under the filly and lift her off of your lap
>You set the comforter on the couch before laying her on top of it and covering her back up
>Grabbing some logs by the fireplace you toss them on and try to prod life back into smoldering remnants of your houses only source of heat
>It takes some work but the logs eventually catch and the fire flares to back to life
>With that you turn away and see a pair of bright blue eyes looking at you from your couch
>The saddest loneliest eyes you have ever seen
>You flash her the warmest smile you can and revert back to your diner attitude
"Hey there cutie! Would you like something to eat?"
>Your voice drips with honey
>A skill you learned from a certain colt worthless colt that you work with
>Its supposed to make your customers feel like you care
>It seems to calm her a bit and she nods
"Well you stay warm right there and I will get you some nice hot food."
>She smiles a weary smile at you as you head to the kitchen

>>26012792
>bonbon is nice
And just like that, you've hooked me.

File: large[1].png (351KB, 619x834px) Image search: [Google]

351KB, 619x834px

>>26012800
Enjoy the second bit of green I have ever written. I will continue it at some point when I have more sleep than I do at this current moment.

Now is time for sleeping and dreaming of pone

>>26012821
Bonnie likes Anon and is one of the few ponies that see him as more than a nice ass on a pair of long legs.

>>26012835
I will pay you real-life money to continue.

>>26012961
Writefag Patreon where.
The goal for 30,000 being Writefags won't abandon poor helpless stories without finishing them anymore.

File: 3704291+_38ea78ed6c014655b0d8f36e523bb77c.jpg (8KB, 274x195px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 274x195px

>>26012835
MOAR! Pretty please

Yo Anal, more Appleraped Anon when?
That shit was seriously cute and hilarious.

>>26013186
I second that.

please continue!

>>26012510
>smear campaign
oh come on, we all know that Orange Apple-hick can't tell a lie to save her life.

>>26013077
Nowhere because it just becomes a paywall.

File: 14507801969430.jpg (66KB, 600x450px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 600x450px

>>26011191
>HotKinkyShy is AWOL, and they took their bisexual horses with them.
man, >>26009232 and >>26000168

>>26012835
NOICE

File: Bon-Bon by Underpable edit small.jpg (109KB, 900x600px) Image search: [Google]

109KB, 900x600px

>>26011558
>>Not taking their funposting as just another writing prompt
what funposting?
>Lift heavy. Study hard. Respect your roots. Be strong.
that is exactly what every colt should do
are you going to disagree with this?
Add 'shut up' to the list and you get my perfect stallion!

>>26012835
>Enjoy the second bit of green I have ever written.
who the fuck are you and where is your patsy bin?
beacuse continue
>Bon Bon is such a nice mare
Astrologists declare the week of Bon-Bon.

File: 1378071841709.jpg (514KB, 1920x1200px) Image search: [Google]

514KB, 1920x1200px

>>26011318
>>26011191
Someday we will all be bones

>>26008834
Wonder how her satyr offspring would be like.

>>26014064
https://derpibooru.org/361711
https://derpibooru.org/363283
https://derpibooru.org/429871

>>26014117
Huh. Maybe she can borrow her mother's bras.

>>26014145
>not letting the milk-makers be free in the breeze

>>26014163
Gross saggy granny tits.

>>26014163
that's how they become saggy m8

>>26014199
But my public nudity utopia fantasy

>>26014206
Magic invisible or transparent bra's.

File: dsc03536.jpg (146KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

146KB, 640x480px

>>26014206

Who has the saggiest teats?

File: 1368179342413.gif (450KB, 500x413px) Image search: [Google]

450KB, 500x413px

>>26014517
Granny.

>>26014117
https://derpiboo.ru/257193
As if he'd only impregnate her once.
Remember to always milk your daughterus.

>>26014578
He should have a son with her, who ends up with giant balls.

>>26012792
>You almost jump when you feel the filly move against your chest
>She snuggles closer to you and nuzzles her face on your chest
hhngg

>>26014598
gays not welcome

>>26014598
>>26014621
>Be Milky Way, destroyer of jobs.
>Had lots of sex with Anon
>Now you have a son
>He took after you
>That means he has gigantic tits
>He's fucking stacked.
>Just like your human husbando, your beloved son emaresculates all the fillies he meets
>They break down crying into his chest tuft when they realise they will never be able to compete.
>Even the other colts want him.
>You are so proud of him.

>>26014598
That boy needs a cocksock or ten.
I'm sure he's responsible enough to keep them fed.

File: large[1].png (1MB, 1280x975px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1280x975px

>>26013500
Only other thing I have ever written was >>25941022 which is just a little request thing in AiE

>>26013443
>>26013186
>>26012961
Glad you enjoy it. I will write some more while sitting bored at work. Might post from there as well.

Should I namefag for this story?

File: alpha mare maintains order in masters absence.png (560KB, 1320x904px) Image search: [Google]

560KB, 1320x904px

>>26015166
Herds a good.

>>26015190
Lyra's so thin.

>>26015220
She stays fit because she gets off on seeing Anons cock stretch out her stomach when he's railing her.

>>26015220
Her eating privileges were revoked after she swallowed Anon's toothbrush.

>>26015220
After Hope was born, Lyra got pretty big into fitness for a while when she was trying to loose the baby weight.
Anon eventually had to put his foot down for her own good.

File: large[1].jpg (172KB, 700x954px) Image search: [Google]

172KB, 700x954px

>>26012800
I usually type in batches like the last few but since I will be posting these from work it will be in single posts.

>You go to your icebox and take out some eggs and milk
>Since you have to feed a hungry mouth you are going to make something that can stuff anyone
>Your fathers heavenly breakfast pancakes
>So used to making this recipe you don't even pay attention as your hands work
>You are too busy thinking of the filly who is silently watching you over the top of your couch
>Every few minutes you glance at her a shoot a smile
>As you throw the first pancake in the pan you decide to cook some scrambled eggs as well
>You quickly throw a second pan on your gas stove and toss some butter into it to melt
>Its not long before you are plating the five golden pan sized flapjacks and two sizzling scrambled eggs
"Your food is ready hon. Come sit at the table and I will bring it to you."
>Silently she gets walks over to the table and manages to scramble up into one of your human sized chairs
>With a "clunk" you place the plates in front of her
>She stares for more than a few seconds at the food in front of her
"What's wrong honey? I thought you were hungry."
>She looks up at you and you see the tears in her eyes
>"I-...is all this for me?"
>Her voice seems so much different than expected
>Its more mature than you thought it would be and its filled with fear and hope
>Fucking hell you are not sure if your heart can take that blow
>You have never experienced something so adorable and sad at the same time
>The only thing you could do is to drop to your knees and wrap her in a hug
>She lets out a small yelp
"Sorry for surprising you with that. And yes every bit of that food is for you."
>Reluctantly you release the filly so she can eat while you go get the best part
>From the oven you take out the secret ingredient
>A stoneware crock filled with a mixture of maple syrup and honey
>Something so delectable but only to be served warm

File: [muh fetish intensifies].gif (208KB, 272x213px) Image search: [Google]

208KB, 272x213px

>>26015238

File: bfb034d9304ac5a220da7f8076c6af26.jpg (567KB, 924x1162px) Image search: [Google]

567KB, 924x1162px

>>26015408
https://derpiboo.ru/636846

>>26014643
Why only have one son?
https://derpibooru.org/533206

>>26015600
It's shit.

>>26015336
I love this, more please

>>26015238
UNF. Cock is now diamonds.