Storytime of Pain: Trouble

fuck's sake

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Previous Threads:
>>94011836 (Marville)
>>94013505 (The Unfunnies)

>>94015371
Even Mark Millar admits that this comic is trash. Don't know if Quesada ever said anything about it though.

>>94015448
Everyone just forgets it exists.

>>94015448
I honestly don't know what Quesada or anyone else was thinking. How could anyone think that doing this story with these characters would work?

>>94015371
Can't wait for Sony's Aunt May movie!

>>94015371
>weekend of pain
>already

Why are you doing this to us anon?

Shooting off the greatest hits by Thursday afternoon feels like we're gonna run out of terrible comics by Sunday.

>>94015400
So what year is this supposed to take place again?

>>94015672
How the hell did she see the way "her eyes sparkled" when she was running away in the opposite direction?

>>94015371
How does any of this make any sense?
Uncle Ben has always been established as being a lot older than his brother Richard. It's why Ben and May have grey hair. They're in their 50s at the earliest when Spider-Man first started when he was 15 years old.
In order for Aunt May to be Peter's mother at age 16, she would have to be 31 when Peter becomes Spider-Man, which is absolutely laughable.
This should never have been made because an editor should have pointed out this simple math.

>>94015776
I really did not need to see Ben's O-Face.

oh boy

>>94015852
Man, Peter's dad was a real asshole. I'm glad that the communist Red Skull killed him.

>>94015883
Given the Scooby-Doo reference, this has to take place after 1969. Comics didn't cost 12 cents back then.

>>94015604
I've got my storytimes planned out so there's some stuff each day. I don't think it'll be a problem. Getting the classics out of the way means people can focus on new stuff that hasn't been included in the last two.

>>94016099
Even the recap pages are terrible.

You think the girls on the covers ever do convention tours?

>>94016232
Does anyone know their names?

>>94016189
So I always heard that this was intended to be canon.
Like, was it considered canon then decided not later? Or did they KNOW it was a pile of shit so was retconned before even finished releasing.

I just wanna know how long Aunt May being the biggest cheating bitch was canon.

>>94016286
It looks like they tried making it canon to the Ultimate Universe in the final issue, but it doesn't work for that either.

>>94016110
Oh so that's where that page came from.

>>94015455
>mark millar

someone has an unrealistic view of themselves

>>94016390
>Ultimate Universe
Poor ultimate. It already had enough problems as it did, no need to kick em while they're down with THIS.

This is worse than the Unfunnies I think.

I mean, with the Unfunnies it's Avatar Press and it's an incompetently made horror comic. Sure.

This is Marvel and was supposed to be a romance comic? Featuring domestic abuse and all that other shit? Definitely makes less sense than Unfunnies.

>>94016459
It's almost time for the reveal...

>>94016610
>>94016624
He probably could have saved money on condoms if he had told her he was sterile in the first place. I don't think people worried about STDs back then.

>>94015371
Didn't we just do this? Like two months ago?

>>94016674
So this takes place after Roe v Wade?

>>94016610
Oh boy here it comes...

>>94016624

I laugh every single time. Dear god, whats wrong with his face.

>>94016666
Well, Super-Satan, that was just a regular SoP. This is the annual SWoP which happens during SDCC.

>>94015717
this must have been made to deliberately piss me off.

>>94015776
no one should smoke.

but fucking a guy you just met is fine.

>>94016624
THERE IT IS >>94016624

>>94016624
His fucking face in each panel wraps a little

>>94016624
YEAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

As a long time spider-fag reading this for the first time and knowing it was an official publication was a large part of what made me lose faith in the industry.

So how canon is this book is it on the same level as galactuses daughter or somewhere around OMD

>>94016863
>I hope you lose your stupid baby

Parker luck

I sure hope someone is doing The Sword this year.

Girls is always inevitable

>>94016805
>>94016798
fucking hell

>>94016879
It was intended to be canon then quickly deemed non-canon shortly after it finished.

>>94016624
Wow it's like one of those shitty soap operas on tv except it's even worse

>>94016900
I actually liked Girls in that SyFy Original Pictures kind of way.

>>94016863
>I hope he hits you so hard you lose the baby
Jesus man

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That's it for Trouble and with that the Unholy Trinity is complete. Now go forth, fellow /co/mrades new and old, and "enjoy" some of the worst comics ever made.

Hope you survive the experience!

>>94016624
10/10
fuck the pain away

>>94016863
>I hope he hits you so hard sometime you end up in the hospital lose your stupid baby
Wow, that is a horrible evil thing to say, worse than any slut shaming. Kind of weird that she later out of the kindness of her heart raise the child as her own with the guy who cheated on her.
Mixed feelings about her getting killed by the Red Skull.

>>94016992
>Bucky Barnes
And here we see Marvel trying to backtrack and making it canon to Ultimate instead.
It still doesn't work because May clearly isn't 31 in USM, and USM clearly doesn't take place in the 80s.

>>94016883
Wait How does she know that it was 47 times

tfw own this in hardcover

>>94017033
Ok so far my official ranking is (from bad to worst):
3. Trouble
2. The Unfunnies
1. Marville

Thanks storytime anon, you sadistic fuck.

>>94016232
>>94016264
They must be ancient by now.

>>94016957
>You really want me you gotta do the right thing here
What

Is it bad that I didn't know who these were supposed to be until the end.

>>94016478
>"penis penis penis penis penis penis penis"

>>94017192
It is if you call yourself a spider-man fan. otherwise I guess not.

>>94016423
that'sthejoke.jpg

How the hell does Mark Millar have a writing career? Half of the Storytimes of Pain are written by him. Is he just extremely good at pitching something to editors, that they don't realize what they're printing is actually stupid?

>>94018272
He's really good at pitching.
About half the time those pitches will end up being rather fun.

>>94015596
Did...did they even introduce themselves to each other prior to this?

>>94015717
This is not okay.

>>94018272
His pitches are great and while he has a lot of absolute horseshit, his good stuff is fantastic.

I'M STERILE

>>94018272
He is very extreme. His good is amazing, his bad is absolute shit.

>>94016957
how do you forget the one time you had sex with your girlfriend?

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>>94016883

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>here comes trouble

>>94016879

I'm waiting for this to the be the story Sony uses as the basis for their Aunt May solo movie.

>>94019903
This.

>>94017152

So are we pal.

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>>94015804
>>94015576
>>94020102

>tfw the latest movie representation of May is our youngest yet and is considered "hot" in-universe

>>94015371
>Ben is a cuck
>is forced to raise a kid who is the kid of his wife and his kid brother
>gets killed indirectly by the kid because despite him having powers he refuses to take down an armed robber
Uncle Ben has lived a hard life.

Welp, at least the kid would later be kicked by his archnemesis, his girlfriend killed because of his archnemesis' actions, would later sell his marriage, love, and future daughter with his wife to the devil just so he can save the slut of a decrepit old aunt of his that cucked his uncle long ago. Not to mention him being molested by a guy that looks like Ben.

Guess that's a bit of karma for ol' Richie and his bastard son.

>>94021991
>yfw you can actually believe she could cuck Ben because of how much she flirts with Tony.

>>94019903
Like to have a thought bubble over that guy's head

>>94016231
First time reader....she has 3 arms....wtf

>>94016122

I have never read Onslaught (nor seen it storytimed). Although I have heard it is more boring than awful.

>>94016624
I've been on 4chan for over a year now....but I wasn't emotinally ready to take place in the storytime of pain...Now that I'm here.....I don't regret one minute of it.

>>94023263
That's been resting on his hand, but I laughed anyways.

>>94023399
Onslaught Saga is unironically one of Marvel's all time best events.

So whos bright idea was this?

Thanks god Mary got pregnant with Theresa after that

Is anyone still interested in the simultaneous all 3 in one image storytime? All the comics have already been storytimed already.

>>94026063
Nope.

>>94026063
Not really, no.

>>94026092
Well that's what I get for being slow. No triple threat for /co/.

>>94015517
So she farted, made a mouth noise to disguise the aound, and then wafted it at May?

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>>94016650
>tfw t

>>94028208
>tfw the botnet wants me to starve*

Wait is the baby canonically Richard’s, Ben’s, or is it up in the air?

>>94028571
Ben is sterile.

>>94028865
Oh duh, somehow I missed that

This shit is fucking hilarious I wish it was canon

>>94028571
It's canonically Richard's because this was made non-canon.

>>94015371
Am I the only one who thinks their bikinis were drawn on in MS paint?

>>94024418
Everyone involved deserves at least some blame.

>>94015448
>Millar admitting it's shit gives him a free pass

No, fuck him. Overrated hack.

>>94015717
>Someone wrote this and thought it was ok

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>>94016219

Keep the pain alive.

>>94028887
It is, Richard and May's son is actually Wade Wilson, making him Peter's half-brother.

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>>94019892

>>94015717
>>94028865
>Ben is sterile
>doesn't think to mention it when he says he doesn't have a condom

>>94034276
Yeah, imagine how much money he could have saved.
Then again, maybe he was worried about getting an STD.

>>94035068
Were STDs a concern back in the 60s or whenever this is set? I know AIDS wasn't a thing in America until the 80s.

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The fact that Sony even entertained the idea to base movie off this means that god does not exit.

>>94015804
Listen to yourself.

>>94021991
If you don't think Marissa Tomei is hot you have serious problems.

>>94015448
He said the same about the Unfunnies, but that doesn't change the fact that he wrote 2 out of 3 comics in the Unholy Trinity.

>>94035909
Hey it's never too late.
Movie studios always looking for flop stories to write off.