Archived threads in /b/ - Random - 6160. page

Anonymous
2017-02-21 02:45:51 Post No.723167585
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:45:51 Post No. 723167585 [Report] [View this topic]

A funny story from work tonight, for your enjoyment. Pic is not related.

>Working behind the counter at small local pizza bar. Long shift, close to close. Guy walks in dressed head to toe in a dog costume, including a full face mask. He's considering the menu on the walls.
>"Excuse me sir. I can't serve you until you take off your mask."
>"Excuse me?" he says.
>"I can't serve you until you take off the dogs head. The boss was robbed a few years back, since then no masks".
>"Oh", he says. "I'm not a dog. I'm a wolf."
>"Sorry sir, but it doesn't matter. I can't serve you until you take off your mask."
>"This isn't a mask. This is my true face. And please stop calling me "Sir". I'm not a man. I'm a wolf."
>"I'm sorry... er... Mr Wolf, but I can't change the rules. Until you take off the mask I can't take your order."
>"Moonshadow."
>"Sorry?"
>"My name is Moonshadow, not "Mr Wolf". This is my real face. I identify as a wolf."
>"It's still a mask, and I can't serve you while you're wearing it."
>"How can you be so prejudiced? If I was a man dressed up like a woman, would you serve me?"
>"Yes."
>"Then why won't you serve a man who identifies as a wolf!" he states triumphantly.
>"Because men identifying as women rarely wear masks, and I can't serve you until you take it off!"

I swear to god, the guy then howls.

>"This isn't a mask. This is my true face. I am a wolf. A hungry wolf who just wants to order a pizza!"

The commotion gets the attention of the boss from out the back.

>"What seems to be the problem sir?"
>"Don't call me sir. I'm a wolf, not a man, and your employee is refusing to serve me!"
>"That's right. He can't serve you until you take off your mask."
>"This is not a mask. THIS IS MY REAL FACE!"
>"So you're a wolf?"
>"YES!"
>"I'm sorry sir, but we're not allowed to have animals in the shop, council regulations."
>"You allow seeing eye dogs into the shop, don't you?"
>"Yes".

Continued.

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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:47:25 Post No.723167663
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:47:25 Post No.723167663 [Report]

Waiting for op to deliver

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:48:35 Post No.723167739
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:48:35 Post No.723167739 [Report]

>>723167585
LOL that guy getting ass shots behind them.

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:49:49 Post No.723167797
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:49:49 Post No.723167797 [Report]

Continued:

>The guy is triumphant again. "Then under some circumstances you DO have animals in the shop!"
>"Yes", my boss admits. "Under some circumstances animals are allowed in the shop."
>"Then treat me like an animal and let me order!"
>"You're a wolf, right?"
>"Correct"
>"Not a dog?"
>"No, definitely not."
>My manager turns to me. "Anon, have you ever heard of a guide wolf for blind people?"
>"I'm pretty sure there's no such thing"
>My boss turns back to the customer. "Get the fuck out of my shop you asshole."

Sometimes work is good.

Anonymous
2017-02-21 02:34:02 Post No.723166876
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:34:02 Post No. 723166876 [Report] [View this topic]

FB/IG Fap thread

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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:34:52 Post No.723166920
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:38:01 Post No.723167097
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>>723166876

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:42:36 Post No.723167385
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Anonymous
2017-02-21 02:36:57 Post No.723167033
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:36:57 Post No. 723167033 [Report] [View this topic]

Halt, stop scrolling.
This is a border checkpoint. Show me your numbers.

singles: Innocent german citizen, go through.
even dubs: Filthy jüdisch rat. You are under arrest.
odd dubs: Soviet spy!
trips: High-ranking official, go through.
88: Standartenführer or higher. Go through.
1488: Reichsführer Heinrich Himmler. Go through.
quads: Herr Goebbels. Step aside, plebs.
quints: None other but the Führer himself!

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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:39:10 Post No.723167168
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:39:10 Post No.723167168 [Report]

Fuck I swear I'm not jewish.

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:39:14 Post No.723167175
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:39:14 Post No.723167175 [Report]

>>723167033
I'll continue on. Thank you

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:39:15 Post No.723167177
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:39:15 Post No.723167177 [Report]

But I'm not holding anything or spying

Anonymous
2017-02-21 02:32:09 Post No.723166783
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:32:09 Post No. 723166783 [Report] [View this topic]

I've just been admitted to a psych ward for setting my room on fire...
What do I do?
It's so boring

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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:32:48 Post No.723166813
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:32:48 Post No.723166813 [Report]

put ur index finger in ur butthole and tell me how it smells

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:33:34 Post No.723166855
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:33:34 Post No.723166855 [Report]

>>723166783
Hi I'm a psych nurse from the uk that works in such institutions and a btard.

Don't burn shit.

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:34:01 Post No.723166874
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:34:01 Post No.723166874 [Report]

>>723166783
You should probably think about why you set your room on fire. How did it get to that point?

Anonymous
2017-02-21 02:34:57 Post No.723166929
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:34:57 Post No. 723166929 [Report] [View this topic]

Hey /b/, I'm pretty upset. My gf of 1 year 3 months wants an open relationship. She "thrives on excitement" and wants to be physical with others. She will be emotional only to me, and we will still be physical with me. Becauseven of her purity ring, she can only do mouth and hand stuff. I stopped loving her after the first week of dating her but stayed with her cause guaranteed puss. I satisfy her but she got "too comfortable " with me. I've spent thousands of dollars on her (less than 5k) while she spent around 500 since we started dating. I'm not spoiling her anymore. I cried when i thought about sharing her so I guess I have some feelings for her. What to do?

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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:35:46 Post No.723166973
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:35:46 Post No.723166973 [Report]

it's over

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:37:27 Post No.723167061
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:37:27 Post No.723167061 [Report]

>spending thousands
>3 months

Your a fucking moron and she's only keeping you around for the money

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:37:28 Post No.723167065
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:37:28 Post No.723167065 [Report]

>>723166929

Leave her...

Anonymous
2017-02-21 02:39:01 Post No.723167157
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:39:01 Post No. 723167157 [Report] [View this topic]

Rate gf's ass?

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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:40:42 Post No.723167271
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:40:42 Post No.723167271 [Report]

are you sure she's a "she"?

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:41:56 Post No.723167343
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:41:56 Post No.723167343 [Report]

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>>723167271
Why? 100%

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:46:25 Post No.723167618
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:46:25 Post No.723167618 [Report]

>>723167343
That lack of ass is depressing.

Anonymous
2017-02-21 02:11:05 Post No.723165575
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:11:05 Post No. 723165575 [Report] [View this topic]

White supremacy will take over the world! Do you agree?

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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:12:56 Post No.723165689
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This is now a dog vomit thread

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:17:58 Post No.723165976
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>>723165689
Stop you fucking troll. White people are masterrace, its a fact!

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:29:12 Post No.723166598
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:29:12 Post No.723166598 [Report]

>>723165575

Anonymous
2017-02-21 02:04:41 Post No.723165264
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:04:41 Post No. 723165264 [Report] [View this topic]

Fap hard no lurking

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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:15:17 Post No.723165810
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:15:17 Post No.723165810 [Report]

add roberto678945

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:30:40 Post No.723166697
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:30:40 Post No.723166697 [Report]

add eelbubbles

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:36:50 Post No.723167027
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:36:50 Post No.723167027 [Report]

Add paradoxycontin

Anonymous
2017-02-21 02:16:53 Post No.723165909
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:16:53 Post No. 723165909 [Report] [View this topic]

Would you ever suck a log of shit out of andy sixx's asshole?

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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:17:45 Post No.723165964
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Anonymous
2017-02-21 02:14:20 Post No.723165760
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:14:20 Post No. 723165760 [Report] [View this topic]

Can we please do something about this faggot, anything.
He just make spicy new memes old and stale.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdsE9y553KP7Z7MDXzM1sRg

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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:16:42 Post No.723165897
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:16:42 Post No.723165897 [Report]

>>723165760
Almost all of /b/'s users are autistic 14 year olds that watch idubbbz and behind the meme, so nothing's gonna happen.

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:19:34 Post No.723166070
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:19:34 Post No.723166070 [Report]

Memes are meant to die. You don't want to keep posting the same ones forever do you? Be more of a bitch.

Anonymous
2017-02-21 02:09:06 Post No.723165466
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:09:06 Post No. 723165466 [Report] [View this topic]

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT

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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:09:56 Post No.723165514
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>>723165466

CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM CHECK EM

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:10:26 Post No.723165549
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Ok now ladies

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:12:17 Post No.723165646
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>>723165549

SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO SPURDO

Anonymous
2017-02-21 02:06:36 Post No.723165353
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:06:36 Post No. 723165353 [Report] [View this topic]

MeriKa Y U no Roundabout?

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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:11:53 Post No.723165616
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:11:53 Post No.723165616 [Report]

the average American driver is too stupid for roundabouts or traffic circles.
source: an American who commutes through a roundabout daily and sees all kinds of retardation in it

Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:12:14 Post No.723165644
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Anonymous 2017-02-21 02:12:14 Post No.723165644 [Report]