Archived threads in /b/ - Random - 5462. page

>>723784818
*puts porn in epic folder*

>>723784818
legit as sweet cherry cream

>>723784818
there is a god........

You can either interpret the picture as just a random anime girl used to depict someone's emotions, or as a guy in drags trying to imagine his reflection as a woman who loves him.

>>723780113
no

>>723780155
ynot :c

It makes me laugh uncontrollably.

Like the election. It's a mess. But it's funny.

>>723780577
It's gonna be even funnier when you die laughing. Look up on google people actually die laughing IRL.

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>>723781318
You
Laugh
You
Die

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>>723779557
Started off tame enough...

>>723779557
Ill post!

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>>723779978
To which?

Forgot the link: https://www.perspectiveapi.com/

sounds fun

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>>723781915
im interested, continue

Worst

> Be me, 19
> Beta, horny virgin, wants to fuck something
> 3/10 skinny chick, desires me. Do not want.
> She asks me to come over one night
> Whynot.jpg
> Sit around and talk awkwardly for a while
> Fuckthisshit.mp3 "Let's do something interesting"
> She agrees to strip poker
> Awkward as fuck, but I cheat and get her naked. Occationally lose on purpose to keep her in the game.
> Actually has 7.45/10 body
> Time for next step "Come here". Cuddle action starting.
> Still awkward, but less tension.
> My virgin brain engages porn mode
> Goes down on her without proper foreplay
> She seems to enjoy it
> Porn mode asks here for 69, she agrees reluctantly
> She sits on top, puts her pussy on my face
> Accidentally moves her butthole down onto my nose at the moment of inhalation
> Extreme shit smell, fuck fuck
> Somehow keep my cool, makes no sound, creates mental therapy in my mind to get over it and keep going
> She won't touch my dick, but I keep lickaroo-ing her.
> Porn mode suddenly asks her to blow me.
cont...

>>723782631
> She says no
> I lickaroo some more instead
> Porn mode engages next position. It's time to fuck
> She lays on her back
> I sit between her legs, aim my dick for her pussy
> Tries to put it in. Won't go in.
> Try spreading, push again where I think the hole is
> Tip makes it in
> Try to push more in
> Tip is stuck here.
> Beta porn mode engages. Try to do fucking with only tip stuck inside, more dry than sahara.
> Actually feels good man.
> Notice she is trying to stop me
> Ohshit, pull out and start jacking off
> After 34 seconds, cum on her stomach
> She goes to wash
> Comes back
> Says sorry for not getting it in
> She starts crying
> Spend next 2 hours making her comfortable again
> Never talked to her again

>>723782631
When will this meme die?

Sex does not exist

If you THINK sex exists, you are a retard

WHO in their right mind would get butt NAKED in front of someone else, put the 2 nastiest parts of their bodies together and proceed to perform animistic positions???

You would have to be mentally ill to do such a vile act.

I don't even think the mentally ill would actually do that because sex simply does not exist.

EVERY human being on this Earth as we speak is a '''''''''''''''virgin''''''''''''''' because sex is a product of our imagination.

>But anon, where do babies come from?

Simple

All you need to do is be male and touch a female's hand and hope for the best. If you two are compatible, your cells will attach to hers and go through the bloodstream to the ovaries and a baby is created.

As I said, simple.

This nonsensical notion that sex exists is beyond me, nobody has sex, NO ONE!

Anyone who brags about having sex is a complete and utter liar, no ifs ands or buts about it.

If you claim to have sex, just stop saying that. We all know you're bullshitting for attention and it makes you out to be an incredibly beta lose

There is no such thing as sex, FUCK OFF WITH YOUR LIES!!!

>>723779424
How about you fuck off and stop trying to ruin gun ownership for us who like owning our guns legally you fucking scum.

No blue tiger camo?

>>723779424
How about you go fuck yourself you worthless pile of shit.

fuck off normie

Been hiding these for a long time

>>723781888

what state? 16 is legal in some places

>>723780146
Kansas

>>723780196
>
16 is AoC in Kansas. Give her the injection of vitamin D fam

>>723781985
I say fuck it.

He already raised you, doesn't have to deal with that bitch now. I mean he should get some hobbies but yeah.

And there's probably a reason he's ignoring.

Also tits or gtfo

I dont want to tell my friend because they will make fun of him, and i dont want that, i really wanna help my dad as helped me to learn to ride thw bike, drive a car...fuck fuck fuck

>>723782099
But dude

Hes watching anime, weird type one and plying videogames


He used to hang out with friend, work out, you know man

But he became a legit faggot

Im ok with him, he raised me and all shit but i dont want a weirdo as dad

>>723781695
4 inches is small bro, you gotta be at least 5 to be "average"

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>>723781695
>i know they arent saying it behind my back because i already asked them


Ummm... we are :)

>>723781755
Nope 4 inch is average

Bumperoni

Who is this?

>>723780247
Muh nigger

>>723781454
Why'd you wait 24 hours.

>>723781612
He probably fell back to sleep after he came kek

>>723781454
Please discribe in detail so we can give you an well-founded answer.

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>>723781950
Roll

>>723782075
>>723782210
lol Chet G. Cooley laughs at you

Il