Archived threads in /b/ - Random - 1321. page

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s/fur bread

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Haven't seen of these in a while, so fuck it.

D&D stories thread.

I'll go first.

>DM'ing D&D homebrew campaign (3.5 D&D, LoZ, FF, Fire Emblem, etc.)
>Squad playing are friends I've had for 10+ years
>1 friend I have is the typical "where my hug at" raver kid (look up meme to know what I'm talking about)
>He decides he wants to play a Zora dark mage
>I always put this thing called a wishing well in every town (sort of my gimmick every campaign)
>The well works like this; throw an item in, the well asks you what did you lose? Player answers whatever they desire, and depending on a combination of their rolls (1d100) and how valuable the item they threw in will determine how good/bad what they get back is.
>Players don't realize it, but the more they use the well the less the odds are they back anything good; overuse of the well means they can potentially even harm themselves.
>Well refreshes each city/town so no one really catches on
>That is until Zorabro exploits this because of autism
>The squad gets to a royal city and Zorabro has no money to afford good new equips, spells, or items, so he goes to the well.
>Only has 1g to his name, so throws it in the well.
>Zorabro spends about 5 turns wishing for various things like epic level items or epic spells, gets less than 20/100 each time.
>Everyone realizes by now the more he keeps trying the worse/useless shit he gets, so they discourage him to keep trying.
>Zorabro takes a look at me and says "Fuck it" and jumps in the well
>As DM I want to strongly advise against it but squad urges me to let him do this
>I ask, "You again. What did you lose, my child?"
>Zorabro replies, "Make my weakness my biggest strength"
>Have him roll 1d100 just for fuck it sake

>Cont.

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Going to fuck my gf in 45 mins, any suggestions?

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Greentext thread
I'll start
>Be me
>Be 17
>Brother comes back from Iraq
>Brings home a bunch of pork rib MRE's(Basically military rations)
>Tells me to try some
>Looks disgusting
>Try it
>notbad.png
>eat 3 bags
>Worst mistake of my life
>Next day
>My stomach makes the loudest whale call I've ever heard
>somethingsnotright.jpg
>Book it to bathroom
>A tactical shitstrike was eminent
>Pull down pants an slap my ass down on the toilet
>Let out a huge fart that sounded like a 30mm Gatling gun
PPPFPPFPFFRRRRRRRRTTRTRTT.mp3
>Attempt to force out the massive log that took refuge in my rectum
>nothing
>Push with the force of 2 US army Sherman tanks
>Nada
>Utter a legit battlecry to get my diaphragm to push with enough force
>Brother sitting in the other room
>Audible keks
>Turd starts to budge
>The agony
>Asshole expanding to sizes beyond human understanding
>Tears in my eyes
>Feel the sharpest pain ever experienced by man
>Hear massive "KER-PLUNK" in the toilet followed by a loose, wet fart
>itsdone.exe
>Scared to look into toilet
>For when you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back
>It had the length and width of a can of Monster energy drink
>Can hardly stand up
>Walk out of the bathroom after experiencing the most violent rape
>Tears in my eyes, and visibly exhausted
>My brother's sides are in orbit
How do people eat that shit

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Subatomic boogaloo

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Pics you shouldn't share/ saved.

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Rate my dick

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>Be me
>get a DUI about two years ago
>still attending highschool when this happened
>don't have a job or anyway to make up money
>parents ostracize you for being a failure in a family of success
>have no way to pay any fines or probation costs
>have exactly 30 days to find 1600$
>couldnt finish highschool as a result of this
>if I don't come up with the money I go to county for a few months when I'm not even 20 yet
>I see three options, steal the 1600$, find someplace that would loan to a 19yr old with no job or work experience, or perform ritualistic an hero
>trips and I just end it now

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Loli I guess

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How about a good ol' cringe thread?

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POST UNIQUE NICE GIRLW
JUST POST GIRLS WHO ISN'T LIKE EVERYONE ELSE BUT IT MAKES THEM EVEN MORE SPECIALL AND CUTE

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R34 Thread

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I AM A RAPIST.

Every year, I go to Twitchcon, find female streamers and rape them.

AMA

Victim List:
>Vic from Serious Gaming
>Alinity
>Littlesiha
>Redridingnoob
>Kittyplays
>Andrinja
>Celest56
>Misscookiez
And a lot more.

I've been trying to get Dodger and Tradechat but it's impossible. They're surrounded by dozens of white knights who never get to touch them every time they go to an event.

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Would you suck a girl's dick?

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Do you like Latina feet?

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1259571759