New English yaoi vn on Kickstarter

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>>2299317
you can post the link.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/sybpress/sentimental-trickster-english-bl-yaoi-visual-novel

ah, ks links are allowed.
>https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/sybpress/sentimental-trickster-english-bl-yaoi-visual-novel

might want to post this in the bl vn thread over at vg. the lads there might give this one a go. anyways, downloading the demo right now just cause the main character is a qt.

>>2299317
thanks for sharing, might check it out

Yesssss
I gotta check out and support more BL games, there isn't enough

>>2299321
Thanks for the info!

>>2299322
Thank you, I will. Please let me know how you liked the demo!

>>2299324
Yay, another chance to torment a player with questions about the demo.

>>2299401
Thanks a ton! Yup, we definitely suffer from the lack of quality BL vns. I'd be happy to talk to you about the demo when you play it.

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>>2299317
Those hairstyles look so fucking stupid.

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>>2299746
Nope, are the faces

>>2299746
>>2299749

What exactly is wrong with them? I'm open to constructive criticism and you could help me improve the game. Oh, but even if you don't like the graphics that much, check the demo out, it's really fun :)

>>2299847

Faces' anatomy is very off, and for all the detail they look samey

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>>2299868

Okay, thanks! None of the players mentioned it, but when I hire a professional artist to help out after the campaign (if it's successful), I'll ask them about it :) I'd also appreciate your input on the gameplay!

>>2299891
A good rule of character design is if you shaved them bald and took off their clothes and turned the pic black and white could you tell them apart.

>>2300032
By that logic almost 80% of anime characters are just the same one in each series...

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>>2299317
>no muscular guy
>>2300033
I'm glad you understand why 80% of anime is bad.

>>2299891

How are you guys going to go about looking for a new artist (if you are going to hire a better one)? Will you announce it on your Kickstarter or one of your websites? Or do you have your eye on a couple artists already?

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>>2299847
Not the same anon, but back up and look at the heads in proportion to the bodies. The girls seem to be drawn fine, but the guys look like they were copied from typical yaoi manga with yaoi anatomy where the heads are too big. Pic related

>>2300032
This is a great idea, I'll try that. Do you know of any BL games that have really distinguishable characters if you went by this rule?

>>2300042
The old man is supposed to be a little bit muscular. Ah but he's hidden because people tend to forget about him.

>>2300213
I'm the only author, I did everything in this game. When I hire an artist, I'll announce it on all social media and Kickstarter. I wish to continue drawing all my characters, but I'll ask the artist for help with improving them.

>>2300219
I hope mine is not as bad as this pic. I had plenty of people looking at the guys while I was designing them and no one pointed out that the heads were too big. Good that there's a broader audience this time.

>>2300335
It's not as bad, but it is noticeable by more experienced eyes. I don't know who looked at this art before it was released, but I know friends and people in front of you tend to sugar-coat things to avoid being too harsh. I'm gonna be honest with you since you are looking to improve and I respect you for that (especially since you're looking at a site like this for feedback).

I have not played the demo yet, but judging just from this promo art I can tell what you would need to work on. The shading style of the sprites is very pretty and I don't feel that needs to be changed much, but I feel like you need a bit of practice with cell shading because some parts of the hands just look a bit off (shading hands can be tough, I need practice with cell shading too). In the video, the guy with the glasses' sprite looks weird form the side. His head is a little too big (the human body is approximately 6 times the length of the head) and I feel like you need to practice eyes more. Try to draw eyes from actual people and then exaggerate that for anime style. You have a decent sense of anatomy but from this art it seems you draw from anime-related things MORE SO than real life stuff. I could be wrong about that, but I get more of that feel from the way you draw eyes.

I love that there are more BL games but I don't love that there is a dip in quality among these games. You definitely put work into it and most of the mistakes I pointed out aren't too big of a deal, but you are looking for feedback so I want to provide some because I care about more games like this being made. Good luck with your campaign, I hope you reach your goal, and I hope you make lots more stories (preferably ones with more fantasy in it, I'm tired of non-fiction type visual novels personally).

>>2300348
Thank you for the feedback. Yes, you're right, maybe my friends didn't want to nitpick or upset me. I wish they did though, maybe then I'd improve more.

I had one comment than maybe the eyes are a little bit too narrow before. I will definitely try to draw them like you said, first more human and then anime-style. It's a great tip. As for the anatomy, I tend to use the basic anatomy chart, but I'm not a professional yet, so the proportions might still be a bit off.

Thank you again and when you have time to play the demo, please let me know how you liked it. I want to make my next BL title a fantasy one, actually (I have a stretch goal where fans decide on the genre but it's so far away that is probably won't be reached :D).

>>2300350
you, i like you. your kindness and willingness to change your work for the better is pretty refreshing in this god forsaken place. anyways. has yaoi a gogo already suggested that you should post the kickstarter on neogaf?

if not then go ahead and do that. neogaf is more of traffic place then this board, and game devs such as yourself usually post there to promote their kickstarter or big budget game.

Is this going to be a NSFW game, more romantic story, a combo?

>>2300411
No, they didn't. Thank you for the tip, I'll post there. As for my work, I'm not perfect I know, but fortunately I still have time to improve. And I don''t see a reason why I shouldn't be kind to people, especially if they're genuinely trying to help me :)

>>2300414
The game is going to be rated Mature. But I don't want to go overboard, so it won't be extremely hardcore yaoi. I'm planning for something like e.g. dmmd's good endings.

>>2300442
I guess I would appreciate the more hardcore options on these games...simply as an option. I think games like No Thank You are a good example...if you want the hardcore version, you get the uncensored...if you dont, you get the edited version. However, it wasn't just a pervert-sex game either...there was a genuine story as well. No basically edited versions of scenes or do you plan to strategically show angles of things as to not show actual nudity? I guess I would like to see examples of how far the game goes. I personally appreciate some nudity on yaoi games and dont' like the strategic "leg in the way" kinda stuff.

Ok this dose look interesting to say the least. But are there any other good Yaoi VN out there.

>>2301433
English released/Fan TL ones include No Thank You, Coming out on Top, Dramatical Murder, and we can soon add Naked Butlers to this list.

On a personal note, I'm disgusted by how often people come to shill their ideas onto this board without anything substantial. Plus, this board is first and foremost a porn board, and so if you have nothing in terms of porn to show, well...get the fuck out.

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>>2299891
>>2300335
I'm not the best artist out there, but I hope this helps with the anatomy. Things can be stylized, but it still has to be proportionate. You tend to draw your eyes high, but if you want to do that, you have to bring the nose up a bit too. Be careful with the side POVs, remember that eyes do not look the same from the side as they do from the front. Just use google/references if you are unsure about how something looks. The coloring/shading is pretty good so no critique there!

I love how people here are actually giving constructive criticism and that the author is properly taking it. It seems like a breath of fresh air seeing this sort of thing happen instead of shitposts.

>>2301563
I know right? This......this is a nice feeling......
Please let's keep this going. When I find some time I'll check out the demo too

>Says I don't have time but I'm on 4chin

>>2300032
>>2300335

No Thank You + COOT... arguably two of the most popular VNs from the past few years DEFINITELY all look different if you shaved them. It's current year, time to stop making games with all lily-white characters with the same basic bishie body type.

>>2301738
Same anon again. I wanted to add that when all the characters look the same it's hard for me to become invested. Also I can be pretty forgiving to "just okay" art, but IMO poor writing is inexcusable. The characters need diverse personalities and dialogues beyond their visuals, and hopefully go beyond the cliché Japanese tropes like tsunderes, etc.

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Hello, I'm sorry about a delay with my response, but I've just been so busy with the campaign and spreading the word. I hope you can forgive me.

>>2300445
I'll definitely show full nudity, without any strategic censoring, unless the scenes just play out this way naturally.

>>2301433
If you have time to play the demo, please let me know what you think~

>>2301510
Well, I do have a nipple this time. Or rather Haru does. Not that he's happy about it.

>>2301545
Thank you so much for this! This will help me a ton.

>>2301565
Please do! I'd appreciate your opinion.

>>2301738
I don't really like COOT's style. But, it is just a preference thing.
As far as writing is concerned, you'll have to see for yourself. I'm really curious what you think since you have such high standards. Your opinion would mean a lot :)

>>2301774
>https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/sybpress/sentimental-trickster-english-bl-yaoi-visual-novel

yeah, the nipple is selling it a bit more...wont lie :P

Do you have any examples of the nudity? I feel like if you're gonna make a yaoi game, you gotta have some examples for the nude scenes..or even past examples of other art you've done.

I'm with some of the others on the hairstyles though. I like Haru's (which is odd cause it doesn't look like something I would usually like but it works for him.) Definitely not digging the two mullets though personally.

there's a certain warmth to Haru's character that the others seem to be missing..I think it's the bigger eyes

>>2301433
Well there's yaoi jam coming up https://itch.io/jam/yaoijam

There were a shit ton of yuri jam entries so I'm really fucking hoping there will be just as many if not more yaoi entries. I'm tired of seeing yuri everywhere so I hope this jam does well.

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>>2302143
I have some scenes of the sort in the manga that was published in my country. But it's older, so now I'm not that proud of it. Can still show you, though.
And about the hairstyles, I'm glad you at least like Haru's. Thank you for the input! I may experiment with others' hairstyles a little bit in the future. I guess it will depend on what my backers want.

>>2302679
Cool, I'm going to sign up! Thank you for the info.

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Oh, I also tried to make Haru a little bit bigger, like you suggested. Here's the teaser. I'm sorry that I can't post the whole image, but it was a reward for my backers. Next time, I'll post other characters.

>everyone is a femboy

No thanks

>>2302723
>implying the old dude is a femboy
Do you even know what a femboy is? The artstyle is pretty cutesy, but there's a clear difference between the guys and the girls.

>>2302701
While I agree that one should give one's backers some extra stuff, you may reconsider using more skin shots as teasers or exposure to how the game will look. I've seen artists do good looking characters then draw terrible nudes. Dicks--in particular--can look freaking horrible.
I'm assuming there's collectible CGs in the story. I'd be interested to see what those look like. I've backed a few other games and really support creators. I will say, you're making a good impression on me just because of your willingness to listen and reach out to the community. Art can really make or break games like this though and I'd like to see more...maybe a CG that you plan to not even use in the game...
But yeah, I'd use full shots like the one you posted to advertise your artwork and the type of anatomy you're going for. Maybe, as a backer, I would appreciate early access WIPs or behind the scenes stuff

>shilling

>>2302819
I don't think you know what that means. Shilling is pretending to hype the thing by pretending to be an unrelated party. OP here has clearly identified herself each time she posted. Shameless advertising, sure, but if you're shameless enough to do a kickstarter, then might as well go all the way and advertise it everywhere so it doesn't fail.

>>2303035
Agreed. I really respect OP and I'm glad she came here to tell us about this game, I'd say she's pretty courageous. Plus everyone so far has been helpful to her one way or another so why stop now?

>>2302806
I agree on showing a couple more skin shots, but not too much of course because you do want to leave some things for your backers too. Plus you don't want to use too much sex stuff to get people to pledge (unless that's what the game is mostly about).

>>2302700
I don't think this is TOO bad, but then again I can't see the whole bodies. It looks to me like you at least know how to make manga pages.

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im rooting for you op

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Hello, it's the author again. I kind of expected this thread to die quickly, but I'm happy it's still alive and you seem to be having fun here. Has anyone played the demo?

>>2302800
Haha, "old dude". Poor Soichiro. At least it turned out some of my backers like him. I was shocked. The only person who liked him so far was my straight male friend, and it was only because the old man was the least likely to "ravage him in the bushes", as we called it.

>>2302806
I've already promised my backers 18+ stuff this weekend, so I'll be showing some of that here. I was very busy with advertising, but now I'm going to do CGs. It should also encourage more people to support the game. Thank you for all those suggestions, these are great!

>>2303035
I wanted to answer in a similar way, thank you for doing it for me. Yes, maybe it's shameless for some people, but for me Kickstarter is more like community-building. I haven't done it before, but now I talk to so many people loving the demo and excited about the game. It makes me happy.

>>2303467
I'm happy I came here too. I like 4chan, despite its issues. And you all have been great, actually, I appreciate the feedback. And yeah, I've been drawing manga series in pencil for couple of years. So I should be able to do them fairly well :)

>>2303661
Uh-oh, seem that my friends have found out about this page. Time to abort.

>>2304329
I can't believe I'm saying this (actually, I can) but I'm glad you came here instead of asking tumblr for help. I'm sure most of us know what happened to Urbance.....

Im also really glad this thread isn't dead, let's keep it up!

Also I just checked the Kickstarter page, congratulations on reaching your goal :D

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>>2300032
I don't think you should shave them. That being said, silhouettes do help in character design; specially to make sure you have a nice variety of body types and facial structures.

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>>2305194
Yep. I like Starfighter but she definitively can't draw anything else than the basic hunk.

>>2305187
>I'm sure most of us know what happened to Urbance.....
Actually, could you please enlighten me anon?

>>2304329
I hope you do consider posting some of the 18+ stuff. I'd be curious to see how those CGs look then I may jump on board. I've been supporting several other artists right now so I'm kinda particular about jumping in and supporting another project unless I'm really stoked about it. I think you have a good start here but I'd like to see some of the 18+ content to help push me one way or the other

>>2305194
Agreed. I'm not a big fan of the shaved look too and it seems like the majority of games go for the shaved look. While I'm not an artist, I think a lot of people struggle with drawing public hair. Like the pic you posted, wish Bacchikoi had done nonshaved...

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I'm here again, this time with a CG. If you could comment on it and help, that would be great.

>>2305187
I'm happy too. I'll be posting regularly from now on. I'm hoping for constructive criticism and feedback from you. Thank you in advance!

>>2305188
Thank you so much! I'm in the process of looking for a 2D artist right now. I already have one person who seems promising. I think I'll pay for some samples and show to people so that they can choose.

>>2305194
I'll need to play this game some day. This is what happens when you work all the time. My backlog is crushing me...

>>2305381
Me too, if you'd be so kind.

>>2305386
I understand. Will be drawing more NSFW this week. This one is not exactly 18+ because of the censorship (sorry, need to advertise with something), but I guess you could always jump in with $5 just to see how it looks like uncensored and jump out if you hate it. I won't mind :)

>>2305387
Sorry that it's shaved. And I guess I struggle with pubic hair too, but I also prefer shaved.

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>>2305381
>>2305486
Urbance is this really cool project that was popular on kickstarter in 2014. Like REALLY cool, just look at this art: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrLdXY_lsy8
It's set in a time where hetero sex is forbidden and dangerous. The two main characters find a way to be together despite the whole gender wars going on. Simple enough plot, right? Ah but no, there is a problem here says tumblr.

Majority of the characters are LGBTQ+. And they don't just say it, they make it obvious by showing kiss scenes and saying so too (like the main character Kendall clearly states he is asexual). That's great, tumblr would love that! There are different genders in this show besides female and male like non binary, genderqueer, etc! That's great, tumblr loves that! There is a primarily non-white cast! Not just blacks, but also asians, hispanics, and others! Holy shit tumblr's gonna fucking love that! Now let me tell you why all that is p r o b l e m a t i c.

This is "homophobic" because if you prioritize a hetero couple, you're saying LGBT people are bad!! Despite Lesya being bisexual!
This is "transphobic" because even though there are androgynous non villains, let's forget about that and focus on the androgynous villains so we have something to complain about! Also you forgot 10 other made up sexualities and genders so we'll complain about that too!

So basically, even though they were still open to feedback and criticism on their kickstarter page, answered questions, and even fucking changed some of their story and plotlines just so they can please these fucking snowflakes, tumblrinas STILL found stuff to wet their baby diapers about IN THE FUNDING PHASE. I can see if they had the pilot out already, but they barely had animations together at that time.

Luckily Urbance did get funded but they even said themselves that dumblr will just bring you down. I won't discourage you from making a blog, but I'd suggest not looking for feedback in that cess pool.

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>>2305486
Hey OP,
So I officially backed your project. Mostly because you seem actually open to suggestions and welcoming feedback. It appears that when people identify a problem, you take that seriously and I respect that. In looking at the uncensored version of this pic, I was able to confirm a couple things that threw it off:
1) the part where Haru's leg and balls join has an awkward arc to it.
2. Haru looks more aggressive in this picture. In the other promos, he looks warm and relaxed and more manga-style. In the CG the lines look harsher--particularly in his face. Kinda less boy-ish than he did before. I also think his eye looks a bit far back, making him kinda look like a cyclops (lol. I'm sure somebody's probably into that though).

On the pubic hair topic, I know some of the newer VNs have added pubic hair toggles that I really appreciated. It added a mix to be able to select your preference for each individual character. Now I've heard that's a pain in the ass from a programming/CG standpoint but I don't know. The old BMP style of pubic hair from Sleepover would really fit your character style though...just some thoughts

>>2305706
Holy crap, that series looks cool as fuck. God I despise Tumblr.

>>2305706
Sounds like it just didn't get traction because everyone knows hetero sex is fucking gross and shouldn't be included, let alone focused on.

>>2305706
I think you should stop looking for people to blame simply because they don't want to fund something that looks bland and ugly.

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>>2305706
It DOES look cool. And seems interesting story-wise. Well, I made a tumblr blog, but so far only wrote to a few people about the game. Rather asking them to play the demo, not help with anything. And these were yaoi-related sites, so my target audience.

>>2305821
Thank you for supporting me! And for the feedback. Haha, yeah maybe I put his eye too far back. Now I'm in the process of choosing an artist. I found one super-nice 2D artist who corrected my next lineart. I didn't see my mistakes until I saw the corrected version. So much better!
As far as pubic hair is concerned, I will think about the toggle. One of many nice options to have in the final product.

If your game's art doesn't turn out to be shit in the end (unlike [spoiler]seiyuudanshi's[/spoiler]), I'll probably play it. Good luck, improve a little more, looking good so far, and please don't ever talk about your game in the BL + Otome games general on /vg/, as most of them absolutely hate Western VNs. You can talk about and promote it in the English Visual Novel general, though. You're way more likely to gain supporters there.

>>2306491
I thought Seiyuu Danshi were supposed to hire a better artist. That's what they promised in their campaign. Surely people wouldn't give them so much money for that art. How did they even collect this much? Was the demo so awesome?

>>2306510
nope, the demo was ok, but i think the art is quite satisfing ,it reminded me of no thank you, in wich is one of my favorites VN(righ bellow the hadaka shitsuji trilogy)

Haven't been back at this thread in a while, let's see what we got

>>2305486
Your shading is nice, but I feel like you don't know much about characters interacting with their surroundings. Like, you have shadows around them on the blanket, but it looks like they're floating on top of the bed. And yeah their eyes are still too far back and looks weird. Try to look at the left picture on >>2301545 again. When drawing eyes from a side view, they're shaped like sideways Vs. And Haru does look pretty stressed here. Too stressed. Try to work on practicing eyes more. A LOT more.

>>2306252
As for this, Haru's arm is too skinny. You're getting good though, keep practicing. I believe in you!

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>>2306491
I won't, thanks. I've been chased out from English Visual Novel general, but maybe I'll write there again, just show my art, and not advertise the game. They complained that I hadn't showed them anything before, and they had a valid point.

>>2306827
Thank you! Yeah, I'm working on integrating characters with the background. In this new piece I tried to make it look like an actual CG. And I drew the eyes differently, not cyclops-style :) What do you think?

>>2307369
Definite improvement...sorry about my "cyclops" statement earlier :p It was meant with luv.
Really like the backgrounds here, huge improvement. Overall the style of the characters is loking a lot better and Haru doesn't look strung out in this one. Only crique I have here is the hip bone looks a bit flat and he has no ass. Honestly, I can relate cause I have no ass either...

>>2301545 here, I finally took a look at your demo, and liked it, so I backed your project. The backgrounds are vastly better than the images of the characters and the writing is enjoyable so I think that with the help of a professional artist, your end product will be good. What is especially great is how open you are to feedback though. Please keep communicating with the folks that are backing you even in troubled times, because a lot of projects fail at that and leave people anxious.

Oh, and for the demo, you might consider fixing the loading shortcut. I managed to return to the save point the first time, but for the times after that, the system just pushed me back to the beginning/wherever I was in the storyline at the moment.

>>2299317
how do you go about your art, anon?
esprcially the backgrounds
i also aspire to create vns

>>2308195
*especially
on rocky road here

>>2308195
>>2308198
sup. allow me to help you out.

basically what you do is
1.envision the background you want
2. draw it
3. paint it
4. photoshop cool effects on it
4. annnd you're done

Hello again, OP here. Sorry, don' have anything new for now, but hopefully I'll finish a CG this weekend.

>>2307646
Haha, I know, I don't mind. Haru's eye was weird, but you don't see such things unless someone corrects them for you/points them out and you can correct them yourself. So I'm happy you're here to help. And I'm glad you like the newest one. I also suffer from the lack of ass...

>>2308130
We're talking on Kickstarter now, but let me thank you here as well. Yeah, I'm keeping backers updated as much as possible. Yesterday we had a setback, but the game is still funded, so I try not to worry.

Thanks for letting me know about the loading error! The final game will have a more sophisticated saving system, and a period of beta testing, so I hope I'll fix all the bugs.

>>2308195
I make my backgrounds in Blender first. Base render and a lineart. Then I put them in Photoshop and paint over the render. If my backgrounds turn out ugly, I use RGB Curves and Color Balance. I have some mini-tutorials on the Kickstarter page, but they are for backers only, sorry. But there are many great professional tutorials on Deviantart!

>>2307369
You're definitely improving! You've gotten better with eye placement and Haru does look good here. I'd have to agree about the ass thing but he's small so maybe he doesnt need it lol. Only thing I gotta say is the hand on Haru's hip is oddly placed. Try to put your own hand around your hip and see how that looks. Or find hand references to get a better feel of how it's supposed to wrap around that way.

Thanks again for sticking with us in this thread and keeping up! I'm still rooting for you and I appreciate you accepting feedback! I think more game devs should be like you.

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Hello! Here's the newest CG. The dragon was made by Michael and can be found here: http://www.freevector.com/fantasy-dragon

>>2309158
Thanks for the input! I wish I had two people who'd pose for me haha, would be a lot easier. Yes, I'll check out some photos and see how the hand should look like.

And I'm happy to be here. You all have been very helpful to me. I'll remake my sprites a little bit according to what you've suggested. After making more CGs, I see now that the heads are too big, especially Haru's.

>>2310455
It's nice to see you improving! The new CGs are a lot better.

>>2312427
Thank you, I'm glad to hear it! I'm looking for the backgrounds artist now, so I should be posting their samples here soon.

>>2310455
This must just be your art style, but why are the characters' eyes lined so thick? It kinda makes it look like they're wearing intense eyeliner.

>>2314292
Just my style. Since I can remember I've been drawing eyes that thick.