I need help (real ghost haunting me)

You need to jerk off in the middle of the living room in a circle of white candles wearing nothing but a cross. After that the spirit will leave you alone.

Just fist fight the demons like in that one post

Check your house for carbon monoxide first.
Next, make sure your shit is secured, whether it's an item on a shelf or a cupboard door.

Then if all your shit is secured, record the taps all turning on by themselves and make a ton of cash.

>>19590004
>>19590005

Please. This is not a joke. God I feel so pathetic trying to seek help on this board like this. Right now I'm trying to find some kind of website that can help me. Even if someone can direct me to some other site I'd appreciate it.

>>19589988
em
The only known solution I have read is to be a Chad about it
Just masturbate in your room, loudly, ghosts hate loud noise that isn't thier own, lift weights(the small ones, important) then swing wildly, in the nude, with said weights.
It's be nice if someone could post that story, it was amazing

>>19590014
First of all, stop feeling pathetic. Negative entities feed off of negative emotions and feelings.
You are stronger than you think, OP.

Smudge some sage, pray, focus your intent on positive things, a family member on the other side that loves you, a guardian angel, anything.

>>19590019
I don't know the story you are talking about. Honestly, I could please use some help. I'm just going to leave my apartment, I'm going to sleep in my car tonight. I'm too frightened to be here.

I hope I get someone with a serious reply. I geniuenly could use help right now. What I am suppose to do? Who I need to talk to? Any information would be helpful.

>>19590036
This forum telling you to be a hardass about it isn't people trying to take you for a ride, it's the best info we've got.
Personally, my advice would be to dance in the affected rooms, being sure to shimmy through every space the ghost seemed to cross. Even that is basically a variant on the hardassed advice. I'd be trying to wipe out the ghost with my own power to spontaneously run out of fucks to give to things that scare me.

Put some music, light some incense and ask a local priest for help or anything of your belief

>>19590036

Sleeping in ur car might not work. If your story was totally true, this sounds like an angry spirit out to feed. They feed on fear and if you are prey they will stalk you. Possibly invite their friends...

You need to pull out your cock and wave it in front of you with your hands on your ass. Be sure to wear socks and slide all around your apartment. Ghosts hate when you do that.

>>19590049
That and salt.
But we aren't fucking around when we say masturbating around the house loudly is not a bad idea.
That would make me leave and I'm a meat coated skeleton made out of stardust traveling on a ship made of lava rock water and biomass

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I'll just leave this here.

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>>19590019
I got you senpai

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Fokk dat shit. My friend eat his child and now he is in asylum. He really need help...

>>19590049
Also punch holes in your wall

>>19590014
If not larping call on christ and kick the bastard out. Shit works even on aliens. Norhing can resist his authority for whatever reason.

>>19590072
I'm female anon.
>>19590087
>call on christ and kick the bastard out
I was never really religious, but after tonight, my entire world feels like it's been turned upside down. I'm still shaking and in shock from all this. How do I call on Christ to help me?

I'm in my car now with my cellphone.

>>19590014

if you're not joking then just quit being a pussy, and out aggression this spirit bitch. ooooooo it takes some spirit all its energy just to move a drawer or some shit, big deal. this is your plane to interact with. tell this cocksucking ghost to eat your ass and give no fucks about it. don't be scared. be angry. tell it off. laugh at its shitty attempts to do trivial things to fuck with you. im not even kidding.

>>19590093
>>19590102

>>19590109
>in the name of Jesus Christ, I command you to leave
Then reinforce it with crosses the next day. If any more shenanigans, keep doing it.

>>19590075

Amazing

>>19590105
Can it hurt me? I understand what you are saying, It seems everyone here is telling me to not be afraid. That it needs that or something. But I'm still scared, will it try to hurt me? Will try to do something if I try to go to sleep in my bedroom again? Can this thing attack me in my sleep? That is my greatest fear right now.

>>19590123
It can attack you in your sleep, yes, but most probably won't. Going to sleep is a sign that you aren't afraid, at which point it might change its attitude entirely. It might try to contact you in your dream and explain itself, rather than attack you. But if you're still afraid, you'll likely turn any such attempt at contact into a nightmare, which, if it does want to contact you, it wouldn't want (probably).

It probably won't try to hurt you, but regardless of whether or not it does, and regardless of what type of entity it might be, my advice is this:

It's okay to be scared, but don't be afraid.

>>19590102
Then you have two choices: a) be a psycho bitch. Everytime the ghost does something, scream at it (like a drunk mom screaming at her child) and throw shit at it. When you get home slam the door and shit like that, or b) everytime the ghost does something let it turn you on. Start rubbing you clit and pinching your nipples. Moan loudly and audibly and say "fuck yeah daddy ghosty fuck me with the ghost cock" and shit like that. Assert dominance by deriving pleasure from its "torment".

Good luck.

>>1>>19590123
I still say you should throw hands with it. Mske it your bitch. Rub your lady balls on anything it touches.

>>19590137
What if its a Cenobite?

>>19590123

think of it as trolling you. the desired reaction only fuels its interest and power. like >>19590129
said, falling asleep is a sign you don't give any fucks about it. it won't kill you or hurt you, why would it kill its entertainment or hurt it enough to flee? its just trying to psychologically fuck with you. its power to actually interact physically is practically nil. this >>19590075 sort of reaction, as crazy as it sounds, is the answer. im no christfag, but the common thread in dealing with these situations, across all cultures that i've seen, is confidence. whether it's "calling on christ" by a believer or its equivalent in a different culture, it's not about god, it's about doing whatever makes you psychologically confident. this will negate its power.

>>19590144
Okay. I'm going back up to my apartment now. I'm going to be confident. I'm still scared, but I'm going to try to assert myself. I don't really want to do sexual things like this anon is saying>>19590137 but I will stand my ground against it.

>>19590142

fuck it if it's valentina?

>>19590157

whoops, i guess that's the actress's name... angelique? i think that's the character. anyways, same answer.

>>19589988
Ghosts aren't real, silly

I'm back in my bedroom. I walked around my apartment telling the ghost I'm not afraid of it. I did this>>19590114

Nothing seems to be happening right now. I'm back in my bedroom, but I'm going to sleep with the lights on.

>>19590175
I thought this very thing until tonight. My entire worldview perspective has been turned on its head tonight anon, I'm not very happy about it.

>>19590184
Remember to call it a punk bitch if you see it again.

>>19590014
look up banishing rituals.

>>19590187
Set up some cameras

>>19590153
>>19590184


don't be scared. even simply rationalizing every single thing that's happening with "natural" phenomenon, as a total skeptic would, will take power away from it. shit, even sincerely thinking you're hallucinating would take credit away from it and frustate it enough to not bother. point is, don't fall for its trivial bullshit. even if you believe in ghosts or whatever, think about it as pathetic that it takes some spirit all of its time and energy just to pull some low level prank on you. it's weak shit. be overtly angry at it that its feeble attempts to fuck with you are wasting your time. you've got more important shit to do. let "it" know. point is, no matter what route you take mentally to deal with this, is to be truly confident. BELIEVE what you are doing/thinking is true. remember that.

>>19590195
And sleep with a knife and the lights on, or a night light, or a flashlight.

>>19590075
>>19590079
My heroic heros!

uh should hire the ghostpuncher

>>19590014
Could you test out a theory I've had about ghosts? I want to see if it's possible to scare them away by being a weird fucker.

Drop your pants, start jacking off and search the place top to bottom while talking about all the lewd, disgusting things you're going to do to him.

If I was a ghost that shit would scare me away.

Can't add much more to what these guys are saying. If it's still bothering you after tonight call a priest and ask him to visit you, even if you're not religious this will deter the entity.

>>19589988
Ghosts are not real. Stop doing drugs.

>>19590214
kek this could work

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Gotta go to a priest, anon. For reals. They'll at least be able to bless the place. And if you weren't baptized, I'd start RCIA.

Learn the Hail Mary and St. Michael Prayer.

DO NOT PROVOKE IT.

>>19590471
Fuck that. Next time it shows up take a fucking swing at the cunt.

I knew by reading Op post that Op was female. The spirit is trying to tell you to get a man before you die cold and alone. He'll leave once a man shows up.

>>19590075
>Throwing away brisket
wtf no

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>>19590567
take a swing at an immaterial being. good luck.

OP listen to my advice. Go to priest et al.

Is the entity still there? If so go straight to a priest and get your place blessed. A good priest will be able to feel if there is a demonic energy there and if there is get exorcists to do their work.

>>19591784
Hey anon, OP here.
Nothing else has happened. I'm going to the Catholic Church tomorrow morning to talk to someone. I'm currently at work, I will be going home soon.

>>19590471
what is RCIA?
I've started learning those prayers today.

>>19590629
ok w/e

>>19590217
I've never done drugs in my life.

>>19590214
I'm not going to do this.

>>19590197
thank you for this post. I am feeling more confident today.

>>19590193
There are several banishing rituals, I'm not sure if I should attempt these or just go to the Church for help.


I thank everyone for your help. I will let you all know what happens.

>>19589988
I can help you

>>19593680
Okay, how? I'm grateful for any advice.

>>19594069
Oh I was gonna kill the thing directly,give me your email.

>>19589988
home invader?
I'd get a gun and call the cops. Even if you don't think it is or you know it isn't, it can't hurt and it's an easy and tangible thing to do

1) Step one, don't feel pathetic. Ur sp00ked and that's ok, acknowledging that will make step two easier

2) Don't be afraid. It's feeding off your fear.

3) But anon, you might say, it might hurt me! Probably not. Basically what your dealing with, be it a ghost or spirit or whatever, is just some asshole trolling you for the exact reason to make you afraid.

4) I'd say if your not religious, don't go the religious route and get a priest or whatever. You can ignore this if you want, but I just feel like it's less effective if you're outside the belief system

5) Acting like a chad will actually kinda help. You don't have to go to ghost puncher lengths, but mock it and everything it does as a display of your lack of fear

6) Perform a banishing to kick that fucker out. You can find whatever ritual you like - burn some sage, read something aloud you like, could be a spell, spiritual passage, or even poetry as long as it's about getting rid of shit, and you focus down on your intent to get rid of it

7) Then do something to keep it out. A spirit security system if you wanna think about it like that. Once again, anything works, charms on windowsills, salt across the threshold. Best if you make it yourself. Hell, get a little canvas and paint something that's meaningful to you to act as a ward: paint iron gates and beyond a little house, doesn't matter.

PROTIP: If you're doing drugs stop that shit. Makes you paranoid and easier to spook. Depending on what it is I guess.

The water taps, that is either your neighbor braking in or the land lord fucking with you.

The cupboards could be anything including an un level building or unlevel floor beams, same thing for the fan.

The chair moving, now that is a bit odd. But seeing as how someone might have gained access to the apartment (turned on the water to cost you money) they could have hot rigged the chair with a magnet and are downstairs fucking with you.

A. Inspect chair and put it back in the exact same place.
B. If it moves, now you go buy a cam.
C. replace chair setup cam 24 hours a day.
D. Get another cam, point them places in the apartment. Front door, rear entry from balcony and any windows that are easily got in from.

If nothing happens. yay you scared off your neighbors. if something does happen you have it on cam. Then you call the dude who owns this website.

www.voteForVids.com

Be honest, be direct, tell him what is going on and if he can help you he will.

>>19589988
OP, it probably hasnt been mentioned yet but check for missing food. You could have a actual person in the house rather than a ghost

>>19594441
This.This right there is spookier than any number of spirits, just the fact there might be some unhinged, barely human dreg leeching of of someone is dreadful, to say the least.

>>19589988
Make a cross with white chalk (or place a real cross or paper crosses) on all the doors and cabinets. Light incense or if you don't have any burn aromatic kitchen herbs (sage or rosemary) or use an aerosal air freshener- put scented smoke or spray into all the corners of every room. Sprinkle salt in all the doorways. Turn on all the lights, light a white candle and an incense if you have one, and go talk to the spirit in the room where you saw the man. Tell him you're sorry but he can't stay here anymore. Tell him you live here now and that he needs to go into the light. Tell him not to be scared go into the light. Go into the light. I'm sorry you have to leave I live here now. Don't be scared, go into the light, you'll feel better if you do. In the name of Jesus Christ (or whatever power you believe in or feel protected by) I command you to leave this house and go into the light.

Then say an "Our Father" or other prayer appropriate to you or recite a mantra like "Om Mane Padme Hum" a few times.

Once you do this you may not feel different or feel anything lift, and you may still feel a bit frightened or like it didn't work. Try not to dwell on these thoughts and to believe he's gone and everything's alright. This is a foolproof method for dispelling ghosts, so even if you feel it didn't work or have residual fears, it did actually work, and the weird activity and ghost sightings will stop immediately, it's just like how turning on a bright light in a dark room makes the dark disappear instantly.

>>19589988
yes. you need a shamen or spiritual leader for this. The goal is to get the spirit to detach and move on. It's usually not that hard if you tell them firmly.

Are you all insane? OP said she found a man in her house moving things and your first thought is ghosts?
IT COULD BE A PERSON. THERES A FUCKING DUDE IN YOUR HOUSE

>>19594988
He can do it himself. It's his house and ghosts aren't powerful compared to humans. Poor ghost usually wants to leave. Help that little ghost go home into the light, OP, you can do it.

>>19589988
It;s the fucking grifter, dumba$$

>>19589988
The taps turning on by themselves is an actually a common plumbing problem that can be fixed.

>>19589988
Nice dubs

>>19590014
Well, this sounds like you might be having night terrors, in which case you need the help of a sleep expert. In case it isn't, though: try bringing more metal into the place and rearranging furniture. Both feung shui and electromagnetic background profiles are real things and effect ghosts.

>>19595004
>>19595044
>>19594441
>>19594454
OP here there is nobody in my apartment but me, and I'm very sure the landlord is not entering without informing me, she wouldn't do that.

As for tonight, there hasn't been anything out of the ordinary. I'm about to go to sleep.

>>19595044
Gtfo with grifter

>>19590102

The Lord's Prayer, given to us by Jesus Himself. No prayer more powerful. Say that and you will be protected.

Are you sure it was a ghost and not an actual real human being?

I would change the locks and check out every cupboard and small space however unlikely it seems, there have been stories of homeless people living in other people's places in some tiny place like under the sink or somewhere.

How did the man look like?

>>19595630
This, unfortunately. Check every nook and cranny.

If this isnt the case, then a proper banishing will be in order. Perhaps a priest can help you, although it may not be necessary.

Remember, for the ritual to work, you must really feel and visualize the banishment. The other anons were right to say this thing is feeding off your fear -- this is a mental game.

Good luck.

>>19590014
Im not >>19590004 but i also heard jerking off helps just start fapping when the ghost does something.

why has nobody told you to burn incense? God I swear this board is turning to shit. If the first thing doesn't work call a priest.

>>19592501
RCIA is for people who want to convert. I was just throwing it out there.

I would also start throwing crucifixes on your wall (not crosses, make sure they have Christ on them). See if the "ghost" messes with them.

Also check out Elizabeth warren and her late husband's interviews. They're the people that The Conjuring and what is based off of.

Generally Hail Marys have helped my friend and I in dealing w sleep paralysis and the like.

I agree w every other person in the sense of NOT being fearful. But acting crazy around "ghosts" might work once and awhile but since we don't know the power level of the thing we won't know if you're angering it or not.

>>19595853
But they did. Con you not read?

>>19595879
sorry my mistake, after reading all those "you should jerk off" comments I kinda got angry and didn't notice those two anons

>>19589988
>hasnt had his appartment blessed by an orthodox priest
Westerners are idiots

>>19594426
This is a good step by step OP. However if you are religious you're better off skipping the saging and having a priest come to the house instead.

Definitely the best thing to do with an asshole spirit is turn your fear into anger and just fucking chew it out.

>>19595922
An orthodox priest is not nearly as effective as my sage. Plus my house ghost likes me better because I'm not Christian.

>>19595953
we found an idiot.

Set up a bunch of recording shit in various places and lock your doors, and keep the lights on. try watching funny or manly shit to keep yourself in a good mood.

If nothing gets found you might be in the clear. If ghost shit legit happens call an expert. If it's actually some crazy squatter living in your place call the police.

>>19590137
Im fucking dying, I swear to god I hope one day when I look trough someones window Im going to see one of you people deal with a ghost infestation, this is the funniest shit i've heard in forever

>>19590028
Honestly, this. One of my apartments that I shared with 2 other people was like this. We all noticed spooky stuff happening. I grabbed sage and kosher salt. I made makeshift holy water and smudged my room, then I ignored anything weird in the other rooms and didn't let if effect me. After that I noticed it started to ignore me and only pranked my roommates. Just do that for your whole apartment and you'll be good.

For future reference, ask whoever is living there in the first place if it's ok for you to move in, and if it's not to give you an unmistakable sign immediately. I've done that with every place I ever moved to.

Secondly, offer to move out. I had a particularly stubborn one bothering me and that's what I did. I asked for the same confirmation, none was forthcoming, and that was that.

Most of the time they're just bored. Give them a crossword or, better yet, just leave 4chan open all day.

>>19596737
>ask whoever is living there in the first place if it's ok for you to move in
I only had the chance to do that at one apartment I lived, and granted it was in front of the landlord, but the guy living there said it was fine and he was only moving out because him and his girlfriend broke up and he couldn't afford it on his own. Literally the shittiest apartment I've had, and the landlord kicked me out like 5 months in because she decided all of a sudden she wanted to sell the place.

Rant over. My point was that doesn't really help.

>>19595922
She better get her Tengri sky shaman on that shit

OP are you still here

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>>19590004
not joking, shit like this has worked for me every time something spoopy has happened in any place I've ever lived

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>>19590072

>>19589988
It's not a spirit. It's a demonic entity. If your story is true then it could be anchored to a particular object in the house (that is, if the phenomena doesn't follow you). In that case get a priest to bless the room apartment.
Also consider the fact that you might've smoked too much weed and got schizophrenia.

>>19599076
Also if it's particularly after you, then acting like a chad won't help. It will attack and exploit the cracks in your mental fortitude. Remember these entities have an acumen higher than humans.
Occult rituals won't work either. All it will do is give you an illusion of control and will use your newfound pride against you.

>>19598435
Yes I'm still here. I talked to my 1st floor neighbor on the apartment below mine, she said that she hears loud banging footsteps coming from my apartment when I'm at work.

Nothing has happened for the past two days. But I still get the feeling like the Ghost is still in the apartment; it's like the feeling you get when you know you are being watched.

I've been sleeping with the light on, but it's really starting to effect my sleep, so tonight I will sleep with the lights off.

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Nope...

>>19590068
what if it turns off the music

>>19599154
>she said that she hears loud banging footsteps coming from my apartment when I'm at work.

Have you considered the possibility someone is breaking in?

>>19599265
then you need to spook the ghost away

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>>19599265
Invocate Saint Zoé

Pray, ask Jesus for protection, get a bible to read and place it where you sleep

>>19589988
https://mega.nz/#!7sgCHZhA!67xaWs5EYWNa9Rmd9F1ZYYFsDl5BPHCwm6Ft9ONHZoU

download this book its protection and cleanse methods are top notch
they are a bit difficult but they do work

also you can always summon a succubus or a nymph their cruel nature against other unfamiliar spirits will probably cleanse your house in a single moment

>>19602143
>also you can always summon a succubus or a nymph their cruel nature against other unfamiliar spirits will probably cleanse your house in a single moment

>Have spirit problems? Summon another spirit!
Top notch advice right there.

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>>19589988

heh wagies, that's what you get, even ghosts think you're a cuck.

>>19602160
and thats about sums up your exp with the spiritural world

summoning up a spirit that can help against other spirits is the norm
but go ahead i assume you know better maybe a PRAYER or going to church will help him
like this ever helped anyone LOL

Next time you see it tell him you're gunna seek out his kin and ass rape every last one of them if he shows up any more. You have to be willing to go through with it though because he may be able to tell you're bluffing if you truly are. But you're not bluffing, are you op? No, you will literally rape his family if he fucks with you.

>>19594441
This. And that thing licking your hand while you sleep isn't your dog

''in the power of Jesus Christ, you will get out of my house right now''
if that doesn't know then i dunno what will

>>19602174
Pfft, says the person that needs to rely on other entities to simply kick an unwanted one from their home. Please, do tell me how much wiser you are. Have you ever actually done anything by yourself, or do you summon demons to help you through your household chores too?

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>>19589988
This

>>19602423
yes obviously

because i forgot that humans can deal with old age demons
or priests too
LOL
ignorance is a bliss

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>>19599154

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>>19590004
>be ghost
>"im gonna scare this motherfucker"
>person you are attempting to scare pulls his dick out and starts jacking off
>get scared and nope the fuck out of there

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>>19590137
>fuck yeah daddy ghosty fuck me with the ghost cock

>>19589988
>>19589988
fucking call a priest.

Sorry for my bad english non-native speaker but i do have enough knowledge about things like that. First don't perform any rituals in your own except you're 100% sure it'll work. These things feed on any negative emotion if you're unsure about what you're doing no fucks will be given by it. You can so anything that makes you feel confident to scare it away. As already mentioned above: act like a Chad. For getting rid of such shithead-spirits all you need to do is anything that gives you good emotions or even intimidating it by angrily cussing with it. Masturbation works as long as you don't feel weird while or after doing it.

>>19603186
As IF OP is having that serious a problem. Come the off your high horse, idiot. Choosing to kill a spider with a flamethrower doesn't make you smarter.

>>19590014
True, he will leave you alone after you jerk off. Just listen to me. Grow up. If you're old enough to have money to buy A FUCKING APARTMENT you're old enough not to believe in ghosts. Go back and move in with your parents.

You could have a ghost fuck buddy. Don't get rid of him!

Next time you go to sleep, sleep naked and when he comes into your room, remove the covers and invite him into your bed. Trust me. I don't know what ghost dick feels like, but ghost pussy is the best.

I'm getting a boner just thinking about it.

Ghosts have this spiritual energy that radiates throughout your body when you're having ghost sex. It feels amazing. No human can give you that kind of sensation. You don't know what you're missing.

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>>19602208