How do I become a witch? If such a thing even exists. Because

>>19578271
No, but you've come to the right place, here on /x/ if you lurk long enough eventually you'll be able to larp a witch.

>>19578303
Nonsense anon. Why, LARPing takes no effort at all! You can jump right in!

>>19578322
>>19578303
I'm not interested in LARP.

>>19578271
get books on witchcraft from occult bookstore or online archive. learn what witches do. do it. become witch. you don't even have to pay to find the literature you seek.

>>19578332
That clearly can't be how it's done because 99% of people who do that are just humans roleplaying and they have no actual "witch" powers.

>>19578271
Well, why do you want to become a witch? What benefits would you derive/ what do you see yourself doing? Do you want to see the future or have siddhis or talk to spirits or learn to fly or live in a gingerbread house or what? You could be a witch already and there's different kinds of magic...

>>19578271
Follow your true will. Learn to manifest your intent. Tune into the cycles of the universe. There is much knowledge in nature that is unknown to humanity. There is hidden power within us that we learn to tap into, to learn, to know, to love. You awaken your soul and follow its bidding.

>>19578271

Don't know how to become one, but I fucked one once.

>>19578362
then don't ask on /x/ which is packed with roleplayers you stupid fucking faggot.

I just want to find a way to travel the world really fast without using money... Any magic type of thing that would allow me to do that?

>>19578271
Unlike wizards who struggle against each other to form a hierarchy, witches actually "start" with a the Mother witch.
Then the coven forms around her/him. Unlike wizards you grow laterally and your influence is wide rather than vertical.

To do this you still must choose your hat color though.

What color do you feel closest to?

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>>19578364
I would like to get to know things that are unknown to most people and gain or develop powers I wasn't aware of before.

>>19578384
Astral projection would allow you to go on epic adventures throughout the world in space and time every night. It usually takes a master to do those things you wish to do physically.

>>19578362
>powers
Which type of witch did you wish to become?

>>19578393
Astral projection is cool and all... But I want to physically go places, I want to go see someone but they're half way around the world...

>>19578397
I don't know what types there are. All I'm saying is that every single person that I have talked to before claimed to be a witch, wizard or use spells didn't have any special powers.

They were just normal humans with some delusional beliefs.

>>19578392
Great. And how do you plan to do that?

>>19578422
then why do you want to be like them?

>>19578427
By finding out what steps have to be done to become a witch and if such a thing exists at all.

>>19578428
I'm not interested in LARP, that's why.

>>19578271
At this point, "witch" is just a fashion trend. As in the "summer witch bitch" look

>>19578422
So... What kind of witch are you imagining? Since when has a witch ever been anything more than a person who practices magic? What exactly is the image inside your head?

>>19578443
if all the witches you know of are larpers, why do you want to be a witch? what exactly is it you want to be? something from hollywood? that's stupid.

>>19578420
You ascend into a higher realm to do those things. Astral projection is like a temporary ascension practice. Doing that in real life, idk, only accounts I know of are ascended yogic masters who have been practicing for 50 years, lifetime after lifetime. Witches aren't as powerful as you imagine them to be. What people do, is they learn to utilize their consciousness to do the things they would want to do physically. You can remote view different places even while awake. Its like going to different places when you want to go.

Flight and teleportation are high level abilities, 3d beings aren't likely to figure it out unless we evolve our awareness to a point where we can understand the possibilities of it.

>>19578451
Yes, but ACTUAL magic. A person who is able to practice magic. In the case of a witch probably with an emphasis of practice that origins from european countries.

I have never encountered a person who was able to actually influence the world with their will beyond what... any other mundane person can do too. In all cases it was confirmation bias, mental illness and self suggestion.

>>19578454
I'm asking if non-LARP witches exist.

i guess you eat children and worship evil things
those peaceful internet witches dont seem to get anything done

>>19578443
>what steps have to be done
So, what? Being a witch is possible and everyone has just been too scared to try it until now? The method is out there and asking a bunch of people about it will get one of them to turn it up? How would anyone know what the legit ritual was if they've never had the balls to actually do it? You say you want to transcend human knowledge, but what part of that can ever involve getting humans to divulge it? Or do you think there are things other than humans lurking here who would be happy to publish that information to a bunch of humans?

>>19578463
Okay so physical is a no go.
Astral projection, how do?

>>19578471
It might be possible and is just kept secret for the most part. Like, you can't just buy a book from a store and find the real deal. I don't know! Obviously the most rational explanation is: There are no real witches.

But... I can still wonder?

>>19578467
Okay... So you want to learn magic. I guess that makes sense, and the way you requested it isn't entirely odd, given the meaning of the term. I just didn't realize that you consider mental shenanigans to not be inherently magical.

What does magic feel like?

Answer this, OP.

>>19578491
I haven't consciously encountered nor "done" magic myself so I can't answer that.

>>19578478
Start with dream yoga.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://archive.org/stream/TheTibetianYogasOfDreamAndSleep/TibetanYogasOfDreamAndSleep_djvu.txt&ved=0ahUKEwiepZakrZ7WAhUH2oMKHeyJCmEQFggyMAI&usg=AFQjCNFfl6LbPLOJhTEWFgci5YF-JL5RPQ

>>19578496
>haven't consciously encountered
I wasn't asking you to use logic and reason to produce an answer that would be recognized as consciously formed and knowledgeable. Answer.

>>19578271
How?
Practice and staying away from pretentious cunts who put on airs.

Real practitioners don't call themselves witches, wizards or whatnot, at least not when talking with anyone but people similar to them or discussing some occult-related topic from the perspective of experience. Real practitioners who can do shit aren't some bearded, robed sages juggling fireballs. They're folks you pass by on the street neve really paying attention. A regular businessman whose business is going strong despite all indicators it wouldn't, a housewife who is full of life, love and health despire nearing an old age, a random dude who lives humble, but comfortable life that goes his way despite him being technically dirt poor or a girl attending nearby college who seems very cute and alluring even when when you'll actually think about it, she looks just alright.

So, first drop idea of doing very showy and edgy shit straight from fantasy novels/games/movies. Ironically, such kind of goal will make it impossible for you to attain it. Then get yourself a few solid books befitting beginners. /omg/ threads on /x/ have a link to a whole library though they also dislike IIH by Bardon which is a good introductory material IMHO.

And then you keep at it for the rest of your life, realizing along the way that any special abilities you may get will be a side effect of your practice and development and if you'll practice for the sole reason of acquiring them, you may maybe get somewhere, but likely at some point you'll hit a wall you won't be able to get through without relearing everything from scratch.

>>19578510
Listen retard, I can't answer you what something feels like that I haven't experienced or encountered.

Do you want me to make up some fantasy? Okay, I start roleplaying then. Magic feels like taking control over that weak whisper from far beyond the veil of sleep that keeps calling my forgotten name, the CREATURE that seeks to rise and wish its long denied existence back into my life.

>>19578518
>They're folks you pass by on the street neve really paying attention. A regular businessman whose business is going strong despite all indicators it wouldn't, a housewife who is full of life, love and health despire nearing an old age, a random dude who lives humble, but comfortable life that goes his way despite him being technically dirt poor or a girl attending nearby college who seems very cute and alluring even when when you'll actually think about it, she looks just alright.

So you literally just described totally normal, every day humans.

Real practitioners are normal people with normal lives.

Wow. How convenient that your definition of "magic" is about stuff that is so very normal and can't be proven or witnessed. Being successful? Being attractive? Being healthy? Happens to all kinds of people who never do any kind of magic all around the world all the time.

>>19578520
Thank you.

So, JUST based on your answer, NOT on my knowledge or experiences, but JUST going by what you just said.

You're already magic. Magic is part of you. It's been with you all along. Deeper so than most others, from the sound of it. You need it and no matter how long you live you will always desire the world where your magic can flow freely. It's impossible to wish it away because its true wish is to return.

Now, can you accept that?

Not that any of that is even remotely true, I mean. Obviously, surely, magic could never have a nature like that. Magic must be something else, something you can never imagine or produce. Right? This is just going off of your answer, not implying there's any truth to anything ever.

>>19578540
I don't know, man. I know nothing. You're asking me things that wont help me because I'm not able to find these answers myself. Looking inside brings me no results, I need to find a spark from outside.

Again, if that sparks even exists. And it's very possible it doesn't.

>>19578547
What color hat?

>>19578554
A black hat with a purple ring.

>>19578530
Yes. Absolutely right. Real practitioners won't try to stand out. They merely achieve things that seemed unlikely given circumstances yet happen anyway.

What adept with enough skill to actually cause serious effects would bother by magicking diamonds up when he can simply win a lottery or have his business do well? Less hassle in the long go. And even for some more edgy, malicious intent, no one with some skill would be retarded enough to try and fight physics at every step to throw a fireball at their enemy (which likely wouldn't happen because again, magic is not showy fantasy shit 99% of the time) but someone observant checking their history may notice that surprisingly many people who were at odds with them had unfortunate accidents, gone suicidal or died of some severe condition.

It's not definition, either. It's description of what OP should expect. No showy pyrotechnics, no fluttering capes, just people living their lives but who learned to have greater control over theirs. People who didn't have certain benefits others had, but learned to work around or acquire them some other way.

>>19578271
If you want to develop psychic abilities, pitch a penny into a dark room so that you can't tell where it lands, and then find the penny using only your mind or intuition, is what a Brazilian witch told me once when I asked the same question of them.

>>19578332

Where and what are the books that every beginning witch should read to learn their skills? Can someone link some good books or at least name a few?

>>19578568
I am OP. And from my experience "practitioners" are just roleplaying humans who abuse confirmation bias and want to feel special, but aren't actually able to influence the world through supernatural powers.

You basically confirmed that.

I want to know if actual magic exists that expresses itself in strong and visible ways such as (for example) reading minds, creating fire, receiving visions of the future. Not just occultfags jerking each other off about nonsense.

>>19578547
We've already established that your knowledge is irrelevant. That's why you're asking others to give it to you. All you need, personally, is a spark. Others are more than content to live their lives being people, wanting and doing all the things that people want and do, using magic to get things they wouldn't ordinarily have. They learn magic the people way and use it the people way and all magic people know is people-based magic.

How the fuck do I know all this? Anyway...

They need knowledge, something they can go on. Something they familiarize with. You just need a spark, something you can familiarize with. In other words, magic is already familiar to you, and you're trying to unlock what you already know. Again, you already know it or you'd need to spend years and years studying magic to know what's magic and what isn't, so that you'd end up being able to use whatever real magic there is out there and use it for whatever it can be used for. Not you. You feel something deeper, that only needs a single spark to ignite. You feel it, you know it. You can sense, even beyond and reason or conscious awareness, that you're made of more than that, more than the average person.

So it seems to me your seal is ancient. Made a very long time ago by someone who didn't understand what a seal was, and has long since decayed to the point where the only thing it needs to break is but a spark of real, true, palpable, feelable magic.

Now is this you or is this what the world taught you magic was?

>>19578557

Chaotic Evil.

Alrighty then.

Are you sure you want to become a witch?

A lot of these superpowers are real:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siddhi

>>19578594
> Not you. You feel something deeper, that only needs a single spark to ignite. You feel it, you know it.

I'm not sure if I do. That's the issue here - because what I think I feel might very well just be a delusion of my bored brain wanting to feel special and making this shit up. Special snowflake syndrome. The human mind is creative in deluding itself after all. I have no evidence or reason to actually believe any of this exists besides curiosity and unrest I feel.

Please just tell me what I can do to get to the bottom of this, if you know it.

>>19578597
Objection! I'm not evil. You can't determine a persons personality from their hat color.

What color am I supposed to say? Pink with flowers on top?

>>19578582
>I am OP. And from my experience "practitioners" are just roleplaying humans who abuse confirmation bias and want to feel special, but aren't actually able to influence the world through supernatural powers.
No, see, if you'd read what I write you'd notice there's plenty examples of influencing the world through supernatural means. But most of this shit won't stand out till you take probability of them to happen into account. Most effects of magic that are to affect anything on bigger scale go through the "path of least resistance". Causing mundane circumstances that further the goal of the adept to happen. Or maybe, I don't know, where you come from people winning lottery and then having their competitors all die from suicide, drunk-driving car accidents and from diseases is normal.

Reading minds and receiving visions may happen but probably won't be reliable for anyone short of someone advanced. I only know of few instances of someone making things aflame by touch and it was both rather puny and suspicious in its own regard.

So yeah, again, I tell you that no, it's not just confirmation bias but there's also no showy pyrotechnics. If you can't accept that then I'd recommend nurturing your belief that it's all bullshit and moving on with life - because you certainly won't ever get anywhere if you try "becoming a witch" with hopes of doing stuf fit for typical fantasy works of fiction.

>>19578642
>I don't know, where you come from people winning lottery and then having their competitors all die from suicide, drunk-driving car accidents and from diseases is normal.

This shit doesn't happen and you know it. How many people do you PERSONALLY know who are wizards have killed all their enemies through suicide? How many wizards do you know who won the lottery?

Do you just believe that because someone told you? You can't possibly insist you witnessed all of this stuff because we both know you didn't.

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>>19578623
Not evil ey...

Alright then...better be...
GRYFFINDO-
Wait I'm not a sorting hat.

Look I don't write the rules I just follow them.
So if you want to mention another hat color or combination be my guest otherwise take it or leave it.

>>19578642
Also, I have to reiterate that many people ARE really roleplaying humans who abuse confirmation bias. To get anywhere takes quite a lot of trouble and effort for little reward and many people end up at the level of "I know a nifty party trick that sometimes works" and "I have several really spooky and surreal stories/experiences" at best if they make their practice a way to achieve some particular thing rather than part of lifestyle that grants them ability to achieve things as a side effect. Yeah, it sucks, but that's how it is.

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>>19578651
Please... no more hat color nonsense! This is a serious thread.

>>19578623
not the guy you talking to but it seems you looking for a way to prove that this is real to yourself. To that end would recommended what others had said in this thread and start with astral projection.
Two books i would personally recommend "astral dynamics" which explains what it is and how to do it in plain and simple words without the "yoda talk".
The second book is "Mastering Astral Projection: 90-day Guide". It gives daily exercises on how to build the skills that you need to do it. It also assumes that you have other shit to do so the exercises are no more than 45 minutes a day. It a very good working mans guide to walk your though the process.

>>19578648
>This shit doesn't happen and you know it. How many people do you PERSONALLY know who are wizards have killed all their enemies through suicide?
Not just suicide. But I know of one person who done stuff that went slightly past "whoa, that's some creepy coincidence" and I myself had a few interesting experiences. Of course, alternative explanations can always be found but you didn't ask me to prove magic to you and I didn't answer your post trying to.

I've answered your question. If on top of that you expect me to provide some sort of promise of Great and Surely Mindboggling Powers, then you set yourself for disappointment and you certainly won't become any witch or whatever of any but LARPing type.

>>19578676
How is astral projection evidence though? Because it's not possible to actually "prove" that it's real, as in: You can't project into your friends house and tell exactly what they are wearing. This was tested a lot.

Most people just experience a chaotic, random world. Like a dream, just a lucid dream. What's the difference?

>>19578670
I am a serious person. Just because the rules are funny doesn't mean they are real. So take it or leave it or try another color.

Evil just means a tendency for destructive powers. You turn oxygen to carbon dioxide? A little piece of natural evil. You eat other living creature? Another little piece of evil. Etc Etc.

It's all relative.

>>19578682
So... you have never met and witnessed a wizard actually killing off all his enemies with magic and you haven't met and witnessed a wizard becoming filthy rich out nowhere through magic.

Then why mention it?

>>19578688
aren't real**

Sigh...for a wizard I have really let my spelling go.

;-;

>>19578688
I'll wear a black hat with a purple ring and I do what I want. The hat can't force me to be evil. The hat is not wearing me, I'm wearing the hat. Accept that!

If I get arrested by the witch hat color police for doing "good" or "neutral" things while wearing a chaotic evil hat, so be it.

This is my answer.

>>19578623
>supposed to say
Yes, there is a very good probability that you're simply human and your instincts are human and you say all the things a human says because that's just what you are underneath it all.

What I have to go on is two things:
1. You said you need a spark. The only type of magic that I know of, taking my own body of knowledge of magic into account, for some reason I know stuff I have no context for my ability to explain to you now, but it far too consistent and what, is, happening, right, now, is volatile magic that was sealed long ago. Magic that can sustain itself doesn't need a spark, and human-on-human magic doesn't need more than a trivial intent. Anyone else needs hands on experience, human experience, human knowledge, to unlock their magical potential. You just need a spark, a fateful feeling the breaks the seal and releases what was inside.

2. Your answer. You made a very specific answer. Far too specific to just be noise in your brain. You were able to give a million different answers in that moment, created a million different scenarios, and gone on as long as you cared to in an effort to answer me. You chose to answer in exactly that way, expressing your inner creativity in exactly the way that merges with my own analysis based on your conscious need for a mere spark.

A spark set off my analysis of what you might be. Where did you draw your analysis of what magic would feel like if you were free to play roles other than the skin and bone surrounding your muscles? Why, of all, all possible answers, was your creativity expressed in that, precise, manner, as to meet the criteria that my analysis of the way in which you requested my knowledge would later dictate?

What I'm asking is, how would you have said exactly what you said if for any reason other than that it was inside you all along or that it was an idea, an impression the world gave you of the nature of magic?

>>19578700
Then I take it as a "Yes"?

>>19578707
Who seals magic and why? What's the point?

>What I'm asking is, how would you have said exactly what you said if for any reason other than that it was inside you all along or that it was an idea, an impression the world gave you of the nature of magic?

To be fair, magic "sleeping" or being buried inside of people is a common thing in fiction or day dreams. It's not an extremely unique idea or concept.

>>19578683
> You can't project into your friends house and tell exactly what they are wearing
except that you can do this.
But you are right that alot of people do confuse Lucid dreaming with astral projection. Lucid dreams is just projecting inside yourself while astral is project outside of yourself.
A common test that i do to myself is take a deck of playing cards randomly put one on a window then project and see what it is. i get consistent results from this.

Understand that your are not trying to prove this to other people just to yourself.

>>19578711
No. I'm going to wear a black hat with a purple ring and heal people. Just out of protest to these rules.

>>19578690
Are you trolling, anon? You asked me how to practice/"become a witch". I've told you, threw in explanation that you shouldn't expect pyrotechnics. Then you try to contest what I wrote claiming that it's a bullshit anyway because it's not showy stuff you've expected to which I answered, to shorten it, "tough deal, guess you won't become anything then". Is there anything else related to your initial question you don't understand?

>>19578737
Then why has this never been able to be confirmed in countless tests? I am genuinely asking and curious.

Or do you think all governments are hiding the top secret truth about astral projection?

>>19578740
So you won't take the hat or will you?

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>>19578748
I'm already wearing the hat.

>>19578746
Okay, we're not getting anywhere. Thank you for sharing your opinion and I wish you a nice day.

>>19578746
OP just wanted people to make Harry Potteresque bullshit to fuel OP's fantasies of becoming someone special. Grey, boring reality, even that of occult, was too much to bear.

>>19578747
>governments are hiding the top secret truth about astral projection
nigga what the fuck are you talk about, the CIA literally just declassify a document explaining how to astral project and remote viewing.

Just because it not front page news doesnt mean it is hidden.

>>19578768
No. I am just not a delusional punk. I want and would love magic to be real, I want it so bad. But I'm not retarded enough to swallow the shit that 99% of you people do to feel cool or special.

"Oh wow, I got a job. Must have been the spell I did."
"Oh wow, I look so good tonight. I'm a wizard."
"Oh wow, my bully hurt himself. It was the curse!"

Yeah, only that this shit HAPPENS to everyone around the world regardless if they practice magic or not. I don't want to roleplay with occult-fags, I want to witness the TRUTH if it is out there. And if it's not... then it's not.

New party chiming in here.

It sounds to me like you're desperately looking for something more, and thinking, maybe hoping, that there is. But also, you don't want to be called or actually go crazy.

That's just what I conclude, based on the fact that you're arguing with all the contributors, but you're still here.

If that's true, then you're going to have to rethink your ideas of magic and witchcraft a little. Magic, in this world at least, is not the kind of indisputable Hollywood sparkle that you may be expecting or hoping for. And from what I gather, even if it were, you'd freak out because you would be convinced you had finally gone crazy, should you witness it.

But you're still here.

So, here's my advice. Do you want to be a witch? Start asking questions. Start reading more. Meditate. Start a journal. Try some spells and see for yourself. Write down the results.

If you keep at it for long enough, you're going to start experiencing things. Anybody who isn't paying attention (not you, of course), will likely write it off as coincidence, but you'll begin to wonder. And then you'll do more spells. And then you'll have more experiences.

And if you keep doing this, you'll be back here again asking more questions. And my answer will be the same. Meditate, read, write it down.

Soon enough you'll be at a point where you'll choose to either help others, keep all the benefits to yourself, or a mix between the two. At that point, I think you'll be able to call yourself a witch.

>>19578776
I saw some papers about remote viewing but nothing in there said it was proven or confirmed. They just noticed a few odd things like that one thing about Mars and the old aliens. Have I read the wrong thing?

Please link me to the document where they confirm a person can literally travel outside their body.

>>19578597
Fucking roleplaying using D&D alignment on the basis of color of impractical, stereotypical piece of headwear claiming it's "rules", a claim anon pulled from their ass, and shitty OP who went with that cringy roleplay instead of any other, better answers. No wonder this board is now considered shit outside of greentext threads and /omg/.

>>19578776
Not op, but link plz?

>>19578779
If you practice for a while, you will learn to see prana and astral energy. Its all around us. It can be molded and formed to our intentions. Its about as magical as anything. Its not simple like waving a wand and causing something to levitate. Its a spiritual process of growth and developing yourself. It takes a lot of work, but if you are dedicated you will see results.

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>>19578789
I tried spells. I meditated. I tried to summon stuff. I talked to plenty of people who claimed they have special powers.

Some faggots claimed they could influence the weather. They couldn't.

Some faggots claimed they could read or effect me with energies. They couldn't.

Some faggots claimed they could curse me. They couldn't.

You see where I am going here...

I didn't notice or witnessed ANYTHING special at any point. I'm not one of these people who are able to delude themselves into "seeing" or "feeling" things - it's either there or it's not.

Stop reaching for extremes. I never said I need a wizard to teleport in front of me and throw fire balls. No. But something such as READING MINDS or just creating a small flame on your fingertip (example) would be 100% obvious displays of real magic.

Yet...

>>19578790
>>19578795
i think it in the mega folder in the occult thread but if not give me a min to look for a link

>>19578779
>But I'm not retarded enough to swallow the shit that 99% of you people do to feel cool or special
If anything, it's quite the opposite. Going through this thread it's obvious you swallowed up a lot of completely insane, silly crap anons (including me) threw at you, without any problem - but when people threw answers that didn't portray magic as special and cool anime shit, you went all against it. /a/ and /tg/ welcome you, there's no other magic you'll ever get.

>>19578805
Those things aren't what magic is about. You are trying to get some kind of material benefit.

>>19578734
>a common thing in fiction or day dreams
Not in mine.

Humans seal magic, because they hate it, and they hate what they fear. An animals cares not if it's slaughtered by hand or by hook, by sand or by book. If you're able to kill it, it need not know why it was slain. Humans are different. They care about death, and all the little ways we can die. All the magical races, if there are any, would have no reason to seal magic away. Only humans, and I guess maybe some really pissed off witches, would seal magic.

Anyway, sealing is only done because:
1. You can't just destroy something,
2. You can't acknowledge the true nature of that thing.

In your case, your true nature was sealed instead of understood. It yearns to come back, based on your answers and my analysis, and also sorta on your personality as I'm seeing it expressed when you respond to other anons in this thread.

Soooo, your magic was probably sealed away by another witch or else you're the reincarnation of some witch the was burnt at the stake or I guess, you would have to have been killed in a ritual that involved sealing magic itself, worldwide, because humans love shit like that. The seal begins to break as you begin to feel magic unfold from your being. Either it's a personal seal or a world seal, I don't care really either way, it doesn't affect my life.

Keep in mind that I have no idea how I know all this but if the other anon asking about hats is right, you'll want to seal your inner nature and keep it hidden from the Mother witch, until such time as you're powerful enough to unlock the seal and free yourself by having your inner witch consume the magic of the witch you'll have become.

What.

>>19578816
>Going through this thread it's obvious you swallowed up a lot of completely insane, silly crap anons (including me) threw at you, without any problem

Tell me one thing in this thread that I swallowed. Just one thing.

Pro tip: You can't.

Do you mean the fucking hat thing? I was very obviously joking.

>>19578779
No, you want fantasy pyrotechnic magic to be real, not magic in general. The fact that I tell you that there's no such available to you seems to make you rebel against everything I wrote. Suit yourself, it's not a problem for me.

>>19578821
Fucking going along with insane colorful hat rant and alignment system bullshit. You took it up smoothly and rolled with it for more. Cancer.

>>19578808
>>19578795
>>19578790
alright, here it is. the link should be on this page.Knock yourselves out

https://www.cia.gov/library/readingroom/document/nsa-rdp96x00790r000100030004-1

>>19578818
>Keep in mind that I have no idea how I know all this but if the other anon asking about hats is right, you'll want to seal your inner nature and keep it hidden from the Mother witch, until such time as you're powerful enough to unlock the seal and free yourself by having your inner witch consume the magic of the witch you'll have become

Yeah.... that seems legit.

Thanks anon.

>>19578823
Man, you occult losers always get sooo triggered when your being called out on being powerless punks.

Stay triggered by all means. Go continue with your super-real-magic that can't be proven or demonstrated in any way but is still 100% real.

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>>19578757
>>19578757
It is done then.

By water, wind and fire and earth.
Grant unto a matron grand rebirth.
Imbued with the chaos of ancient past.
Grant her the powers of youth to last.
Ice and snow and thunder and lightning.
Bend to the will of the Matron frightning.
While darkness be the sword of many.
It brings peace to the soul of any.

The title "Mother Witch" is yours.
You will have powers of influence beyond your wildest imagination.

Any spell you cast will be directly proportional to the size of the coven.

A word of caution to this tale.
Should you war with a preacher.

You will fail.

Stay close to the shadows.

Also beware the eye.
It falls upon all who enter this art.

>>19578832
You have to be LITERALLY retarded if you couldn't tell I was joking. Please go and check yourself for autism.

I even told the anon to stop with the shit because it's a serious thread. And in my second reply I mentioned a pink hat with flowers on top.

>thinking I was serious

End yourself.

>>19578833
>https://www.cia.gov/library/readingroom/document/nsa-rdp96x00790r000100030004-1

Thanks man!

>>19578833
Thank you.

>>19578843
*tips hat*

>>19578834
>get told things happen, they won't just be showy
>you occult losers
>triggered
Are you really getting actually butthurt because how things are does not fit how you hoped they'd be? If anything, it seems you're getting progressively triggered because I've described it not as powerful as you'd want it. But let me revise my answer, just for you.

You don't. There's no way for you to. Magic, as you think of it, doesn't exist. You won't ever become a witch, you won't ever be able to do what you hoped you'd be able to even if you'll learn how to.

Hope this fits you better. No backsies!

>>19578855
Well I'm already achieving all the shit you occult-faggots need "magic" for. Love, attraction, money, all of this I already got. Imagine that! WITHOUT SPELLS!

Oh wow!

>You don't. There's no way for you to. Magic, as you think of it, doesn't exist.

Says... who? You? Well, you're just some irrelevant human like me. And neither of us know the absolute truth. So who knows.

>>19578834
>Thanks anon.
Like I mean obviously I have *IDEAS* about how I could know stuff like this, involving complex magical systems that would allow me to puppeteer my own existence and make my incarnation say and do things as if they were human or something, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ as far as actually knowing what the fuck any of that means or how the human casing is supposed to activate any of it.

Like I mean I *FEEL* like I can explain anything, but I won't need to 'cuz you're a witch and you'll get it when you do. Best not to let the humans pry too far into the makeup of their shells.

Happy spark!
>>19578843

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>>19578877
Um... yes. Thank you, anon.

>>19578868
Maybe you need to give up something to get something. You already have everything, so magic wouldn't benefit you very much. Most of us have little of that so our natural abilities came online so that we too could have something in life. Spiritual balance and equivalent exchange.

>>19578886
I do not have everything. I have a lot, more than most people, but obviously my life isn't perfect in every aspect.

But I can't shake this unrest inside of me to try and find out if it exists. I need to keep looking. Maybe it's some form of OCD, who the hell knows.

>>19578892
Maybe you should meditate until you figure out what it is. Maybe you think you should find magic, but what is calling you is something else.

>>19578868
But you're not looking for love, attraction, or money. You're looking for meaning in your life.

That's what this is about, isn't it? You want to believe that this world is more remarkable than what you've experienced because what you've experienced is so terribly soul suckingly boring.

Let me let you in on a secret: even if you could read minds or make fire ignite from your fingertips, it would only be exciting for a while. Then you'd get bored, and the world would be meaningless again.

So, I guess what I'm saying is what you're looking for? Even if it existed, it wouldn't make you happy.

>>19578901
Okay. And now what? What do you suggest?

Suicide?

>>19578868
>all of this I already got. Imagine that! WITHOUT SPELLS!
Hurray for you. People used all kinds of abilities to achieve things which they don't have, who would have thought? I am sure it blew your mind.

>Says... who? You? Well, you're just some irrelevant human like me. And neither of us know the absolute truth. So who knows.
That's a cop out proving that you just wanted your fantasies fed. You got butthurt anon gave you an answer that's believable but doesn't portray magic sufficiently magical for your taste so now you just claim that if he's not roleplaying great and powerful Merlin, then he just doesn't know anything and so there may be some greater truth with superpower for you.
And you fucking mentioned how occultists you know were just abusing biases to feel special. You fit that description more than average LARPer here if you're willing to go all buttblasted because someone didn't present it as special. What a fucking joke you are.

>>19578897
This ^^^

>>19578897
Or maybe it's magic. Why do you care what's calling someone else?

>>19578897
>>19578910
I tried meditation before with no results, only a few months though. Nowadays I have a loud tinnitus on both ears and I'm extremely twitchy, I can't focus on this stuff at all.

>>19578907
You got so triggered and defensive because you're so full of shit. I love it.

Fags like you always do the same. They appeal to Extremes. Logical fallacy, by the way.

Listen to me nigga, I never said I want a TELEPORTING, SHAPESHIFTING FIREBALL THROWING WIZARD. Nope. All I said was, I need more OBVIOUS displays of magic than the crap you do which is basically... nothing.

A person being able to read your mind or being able to produce a tiny flame isn't insane Hollywood shit. Yet it would be extremely supernatural and obvious proof.

>>19578868
>Says... who? You?
Yes.

>Well, you're just some irrelevant human like me. And neither of us know the absolute truth. So who knows.
Not you, as you've said. In situation where you lack any "better" truth, doubting any other because you don't like it is childish. But I guess there's no point in dragging this further, you want stories full of magical powers and ponies, you'll find some in fantasy section of a library. But you won't find much of real magic there given how it's apparently too mundane for your taste.

>>19578926
> you want stories full of magical powers and ponies, you'll find some in fantasy section of a library.

Here we go again with the pathetic appeal to Extremes.

"This fallacy is a misuse of one of the greatest techniques in argumentation, reductio ad absurdum, or reducing the argument to the absurd."

Me asking for displays of magic that aren't 100% invisible or ULTRA LOWKEY doesn't mean I need sparkling unicorns. There's a big difference between the two. Are you LITERALLY too dumb to understand that?

Kek.

>>19578919
Kukukuku

Large covens are few meaning a small amount of powerful witches and female wizards (enchantresses) even fewer.

Perhaps I could give you proof of magic?
What is it you require?

>>19578931
>Perhaps I could give you proof of magic?
>What is it you require?

I can accept any proof that I am able to witness with one of my senses pretty much. Voice, sound, smell, things like that. Like for example... you are able to make something appear in my dream or in my room. Or you are able to make me feel something. Or you are able to tell me something about myself that you couldn't possibly know and that isn't coldreading.

You see what I mean?

>>19578931
However I would be wary.
Proof of The Devil is inversely a proof of God.
Is your soul ready?

>>19578919
Please do not confuse me with other anon. Because several people wrote to you and point out your flaws of character and you start acting like spoiled brat. I do not appeal to extremes but as it was pointed out, you certainly do like projecting (given the whole bias abuse mentioned in >>19578907). I've mentioned flame and reading minds and I've also pointed out that even when possibly, rarely people will out themselves with such. It was a freebie, to explain what you should expect on top of my answer to your question. You however started attacking me because it's not what you wanted to hear. I can only assure you, with this attitude no magic, showy or not will work for you as per my earlier post.

>>19578940
Okay. Anything else you want me to tell?

>>19578939
Are you talking to me? If I had to do weird devil-shit I wouldn't want to be a witch. I'm not a good person (almost no one is) but I'm not evil either.

>>19578906
That's a rather extreme alternative. Is that where you are now? If so, I think you should get some real medical help before you keep dabbling into the occult. Magic and demon invocation (if that's what you're into) fucks you up, and that's /with/ a healthy mind.

>>19578955
You just made everything sound so bleak. The best option sounded like suicide from that point of view. Maybe just me. :^)

>>19578955
>Magic and demon invocation (if that's what you're into) fucks you up, and that's /with/ a healthy mind.
Only when you do it wrong. It's retardation on part of dabblers who start with fucking evocations and invocations before even getting solid basis for any practical magical work. People learning to handle explosives before they learned to control their hands are bound to risk injury.

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>>19578963
Explosives... give me the most explosive spell or ritual then. I'll do it. And I know nothing is going to happen. Like all the times before.

I used to be more autistic and would try being magic by pulling off science tricks and heavily preparing stuff to freaking people out. I think the most important part was knowing more than everyone else about what was going on around you, and trying not to seem like an insane megalomaniac

>>19578956
Maybe their human ideal of a meaningful life just doesn't apply to you for some reason. I can see how humans would willfully entrap every possible type of paranormal entity into acting like a human instead of following its spiritual nature. Half of them are even convinced that their species doesn't even have a spirit, let alone a spiritual nature.

>>19578946
No, not really. I didn't expect you to tell me anything.

>>19578956
I think I worded it wrong.

I meant to say that if what you're looking for is a meaningful life, no amount of magical powers is going to get you that. Meaning is found in other ways.


And for some people, when they have a meaningful life that's a feeling that's 'magical' enough.

>>19578978
I don't think you can blame us for being so confused though. We're sitting in the dark. Everything is so fucking unclear and foggy. What is real? What is illusion?

>Maybe their human ideal of a meaningful life just doesn't apply to you for some reason.

And yes. It doesn't.

>>19578986
To find out if these things exist is my purpose. Or maybe I'm just a scared child and desperately looking for any shred of evidence that the universe isn't just some big, indifferent place with no magic to find.

>>19578968
Fucking retard, you don't know how spells work. You first have to have any basic skill for ANYTHING to work. There's no inherent magic in spell. But dabble at random (but honestly, no cuting corners) and as other anon said, you're bound to fuck something up enough to experience something novel. Call out to things, pledge your soul for little things to every suspicious shadow you'll see, challenge gods and other religious figures, look for grimoires and perform all fanciest rituals, attempt to summon everything in Goetia over a month and tell them all to finger your asshole. Either nothing will work and you'll know magic is bullshit or you'll have your explosive effect.

>>19579006
Then don't fucking make statements like: "People learning to handle explosives before they learned to control their hands are bound to risk injury."

You're contradicting your dumbass. If this shit doesn't even WORK with basic skills, how are you bound to injure yourself? And YES injury is an effect.

>>19578994
If your definition of 'magic' is mind readers and pyrokinesis, then I'm sorry to say that you're probably not going to find it on 4chan. A person who knows how to do that is going to have spent years honing their skills and their focus into manipulating energy. And through their years they're going to have become wise enough to realize they need to keep their powers secret.

>>19579021
Yeah, fair enough. I can imagine that to be true.

>>19579018
>If this shit doesn't even WORK with basic skills, how are you bound to injure yourself?
Because dabblers even without solid basis still usually know and can do more than people who never even started any occult work before, 'tard. That's why they're dabblers, not completely clueless people picking some occult book at random for the first time. They just leap into invocations/evocations before they should, doesn't mean they start with it.

You're proving yourself to be a dumbass by either intentionally trying to start an argument or unintentionally showing lack of comprehension.

>>19579025
>I can imagine that to be true.
Yeah, but when anon said that people who can do such shit probably just live regular lives without showing off you sperged out. I was right, you just gobble everything that gives you a bit of hope for anime-like magic out there, you personal bias exploiting, wannabe special occultist, you.

>>19579055
>briefly agree that something logical is likely to be true
>means I'm gobbling it up

I'm EXTREMELY skeptical. I question everything and only accept evidence as truth but keep living in your butthurt delusion that I'm naive and swallow everything that gives me hope. You're dumb as shit. Stop talking to me.

>>19579055
If you had any reading comprehension (I mentioned it a lot) you would know that I dabbled a lot too. So again, stop talking to me.

>>19578271
Read Cunningham?

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>>19579068
No. Why?

>>19579055
>anime-like magic
I know you guys think OP is a faggot and everything, but you all are seriously not arguing it properly. OP disagreeing about what "real" magic is has nothing to do with what you guys THINK OP is saying magic is. OP hasn't said what they think magic is, they've used the intuitive definition this entire time. If you dismiss everyone who doubts your authority as an /r9k/ autist who just wants anime to be real, you'll never understand newbies, let alone novices.

From what they've actually said, their criteria for what would qualify as "real magic" is entirely within the scope of what people on this board consider magic to be. I can understand not liking their tone, but they're not being unreasonable about what qualifies as magic, and what it would mean to provide evidence of magic.

>>19579066
>you would know that I dabbled a lot too
Giving how much of the basics you seem to have no fucking clue about, I'd wager your dabbling amounts to completely clueless roleplaying. Half of the serious answers ITT would be obvious things you'd already know otherwise, instead of you asking people to even say what is maybe kinda hopefully possible to fuel your daydreaming.

So yeah, no comprehension, bias abuse, wanting to be special and overestimating yourself. You're exactly like those occult wanker losers you complained about in one of the first posts. You just lack guts to admit it to yourself.

>>19579082
>butthurt
>no arguments
>can't even read

Stop - talking - to - me. I'm not interested in the shit you have to say.

>>19579082
There's a really clear difference in my mind between "Hi guys I'm a witch. AMA. (PS I've only dabbled a little and I'm just starting out.)" and "Hi guys I've dabbled a little. How do I become a real witch?" One claims to be a witch, thinking it has any weight. The other wants to know how to become the thing with weight.

>>19579080
They mentioned wanting somebody to appear in their dreams or remote view to tell them what they're wearing. They also mentioned wanting to see mind reading or summoning a tiny flame. I agree none of these are outside the realm of possibility.

My argument is that OP may not be looking to become a witch so much as hoping to put meaning into their life. This can be done in other ways.

That being said, OP, if you want to become a witch, you have two options. Find and join a secret order ( without any guarantees that you'll witness anything magical) or continue solo. If you choose the solo route, there is more than enough literature to keep you occupied for a lifetime in the mega folder that has been lovingly compiled by the occultists here on /x/;

https://mega.nz/#F!AE5yjIqB!y7Vdxdb5pbNsi2O3zyq9KQ!UNo1VTwA

My best advice is what I and many masters before me have said before. Do you want to become a witch? Do you want to know if magic is /really/ real? Then you have to practice for yourself. Practice until you are certain, one way or another.

A person who has mastered the things you desire to see is unlikely to show them to you. To them, you're just another nobody who desires power but doesn't know how to handle it. Prove to them that you're worthy, and they'll come to you.

>>19579080
You've got a point, I admit it freely. But it's hard to take OP even as a sensible novice when they're willing to attack people and generally make a pretentious ass out of themselves because others, who came to help and explain things, didn't provide explanation that fits their fantasies. At the same the hypocrisy when complaining about occultists who just delude themselves while showing exactly the same attitude and following RP trolling crap without a hitch when claiming skepticism as long as there's promise of popculture feats of magic is just plain bad.
I am actually surprised that OP wasn't roasted much harder by anons ITT given some of their posts. Little blessing, eh.

>>19579107
Okay, thanks for your input.

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>Because every "witch" or person who dabbles in the occult I talked to before couldn't do shit.
They didn't want to teach you.
For good reason
>I'll try to look up secrets of witchcraft on 4chan
Herd mentality right there. Not fit for witchery.

>bu-but who decides
The more experienced "practitioner" decides. Idiot.

>>19579125
It wasn't about teaching me at all.

>Herd mentality right there. Not fit for witchery.

Oh so smug and deep... You're an idiot. There's nothing wrong in looking around at different places and one of them is 4chan.

>>19579118
Cool. So are you actually going to do it or...

>>19579108
They weren't roasted because nobody takes stereotypes that literally. The behavior you describe never happens to any notable degree on this board, but some fool jacked the term "LARP" at some point and it's been a forced meme ever since. People misuse the term to hide their ignorance about other posters, and the stereotype you describe is the stereotype that had to be invented to justify the existence of the forced meme. Very, very few people try to ask about Hollywood/anime magic, and the rest are straight up trolling.

This is literally why I asked OP very early on what the image was in their head, with regard to being a witch. Because of this crap that got shoved down your throat in the form of a bias created to defend a forced meme.

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>>19579149
Does it really matter? You wont find out what I'm going to do or not.

>>19578518
This.
So Much This.
You practice and it's boring, it's mundane and if you do it to get any particular power it won't work well for you long-term.
If you do it to become something more then you can discover abilities thorough your practice as a bonus.

Those who really got anywhere don't show their abilities and they don't have to make any act of wizardry, they keep their secrets and through their abilities they are able to make their lives better by creating subtle effects normal people won't even notice.

The best witch I ever met was middle-aged-looking woman living peacefully in the countryside, tending her vegetable garden, doing little chores and taking care of her husband and sometimes visiting her grandkids. It's only when you'd start talking with her about such things, check her library or she'd get to work you would get the /x/ times roll.

>>19579175
>The best witch I ever met was middle-aged-looking woman

So.. what was this "best witch" woman actually able to do that is paranormal and that not every other human being is able to pull off in their lives as well?

>>19579175
This middle aged woman sounds lovely and I would love to have tea with her one day.

>>19579186
Reread that anon's post. He's not talking about what's actually possible, he's talking about the people he's met and how they lived their lives. That's how people work, that's their nature. It's the scope in which they do their magic and it's all they really care about. It seems absurd and rude to them to question each other's legitimacy and power level all the time. It's just not how they're wired.

>>19579200
He called her the best witch. I would like to know what made her the best witch and what she was able to do. Just taking care of your vegetable garden and having a husband doesn't qualify as "best witch" to me.

>>19579205
They mean "best person who was also a practicing witch as far as I could tell" rather than "best at being a witch and using magic that could be readily observed as magical by other people."

It's seriously two different worlds.

>>19579186
Things that could be coincidence but healed me of severe cold in a few hours of lying hands on my head,
knew stuff happening around property
and worked her garden in a way that despite her age (which, given grandkids means either she looked younger than she was or she had her family really early) either she was physically some ubermensch, was /x/-themed powered up or was permanently drugged up to high heaven but somehow exhibiting only positive effects.

I know guys half her age and double her apparent strength that would take a break once or twice while she still worked, all fresh and happy.

Maybe she wouldn't call herself witch. The effects are something more like what yoga or reiki would promise. Whatever term you use, it was some /x/ shenanigans.

>>19579219
That doesn't sound paranormal to me. People are known to heal from placebo stuff and even fraud Gurus lay their hands on gullible humans and then they feel healed. I bet she couldn't actually heal visible wounds or diseases. And her just working her garden efficiently and full of energy doesn't sound like magic powers either.

But interesting regardless. This is just my opinion before someone starts sperging out again.

Some replies toward the beginning of the thread were very insightful. Topics have been skewed and muddled over since... but that was the intent of the posters, no doubt.

To OP and others: there is a reason why meditating (that is, being mindful of your present moment with a clear head free of expectations) is always suggested for "magic." There is a reason why agents steer topics away from meditation. There is a reason why certain ethnic celebrities and spokespersons have started speaking against "silly" meditation.

As was said before in this thread... one must be totally silent and still (in a manner of speaking) if they are to begin to feel the threads of reality within themselves. No one can play an entire symphony upon first hearing it... but they can wait for the right moment to pick up and play their own part... and begin practicing that way. The more you experience, the more you will experience.

>>19579200
You're perfectly right but since they seem very interested, a few examples won't hurt, thus >>19579219
To be honest, I don't know myself how much she could do. I was just visiting for vacations together with family when younger, with most of my considerations limited to "whoa, that's weird but kinda awesome" rather than checking extent of her abilities. It's her business.

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>>19579229
> one must be totally silent and still
> Tinnitus keeps ringing loudly

>>19579238
Fun fact: when beginning meditation one becomes hypsersensitive of everything, including stuff like tinnitus. Brave through that and you'll be able to push the ringing away or rather accept it without it being distracting at all, just a thing you'd be aware of without giving it any thought.

>>19579175
That was good take, shame OP dragged it into actual argument.

>>19579244
I can accept it (not much else to do anyway) but I can never hear silence again. Not so fun.

>>19579231
That's the other thing that needs to be said. Nobody has to prove anything to OP. In the end, it's none of OP's business how much somebody else can or cannot do.

>>19579250
Go deep enough in meditation and you won't hear anything if you won't want to.

>>19579256
Have I said anyone here has to prove shit to me? I haven't. But neither can you (or anyone else) start sperging out if I don't believe or disagree with you if there's no evidence.

That's all.

>>19579224
I read all the posts in this thread and you're not ready for this. Too much negativity and insecurity, monsters come out from the dark child. Dont fuck with this shit.

If you really want this, start meditating and lucid dreaming. But really i think its a waste of time for you. You can always larp like others said in this thread though.

>suggests big library of stuff to read
>returns to find OP still arguing with people

Well. This was a waste of my time.

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>>19578271
>>19578303

>How do I become a witch?
>If such a thing even exists. Because every "witch" or person who dabbles in the occult I talked to before couldn't do shit.

Mortals don't have the powers of gods - gods have used mortals to reveal their power to other mortals - these people were called "witches" by the Jews and, later, "Christians" and Muslims - and murdered by them for serving the gods.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o43_1Ccjvt4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QageVk0vAQ

>>19579264
Okay, thanks for your opinion.

>>19579269
You're a schizo. Have seen many posts of you and will ignore you.

>>19579266
The people in the occult general are PROOF that reading all these texts doesn't even do anything. They are all powerless roleplayers. Doing rituals and nothing happens that isn't normal as fuck.

I will probably look into it anyway if I have nothing better to do!

>>19579261
I won't be surprised if anon didn't accuse you of anything, just pointed it out for further consideration. It's relevant since you seem to have preference for the "awesome" kind of magic. Funny, probably you shot yourself in the foot with your whole aggresive attitude when it comes to the OP question because that anon and some others who were pointing out how close to mundane world a lot of magic is (at least before you move on to some advanced stuff) seemed to know their stuff and probably could help you the most if you'd just take what they tell you as a good advice rather than an attack or something to disassemble and find faults in. Skepticism is good but when you ask for advice and comments to help you with something and then disregard and question them because they're related to that something that's questionable in the first place, you do yourself no favor.

I don't know you, maybe just today you have a bad day but not even in magic but in general, you may want to do something about that attitude, otherwise you'll waste many opportunities for good stuff to happen to you.

>>19579289
>who were pointing out how close to mundane world a lot of magic is (at least before you move on to some advanced stuff) seemed to know their stuff

I know guys like him. Talked to them countless times before and... nothing. So I'm not interested to hear anything from this "kind" of faggot anymore. That's all, personal choice.

Also let's not forget how smug and aggressive they were themselves. You act like I'm the only one with an attitude problem in here.

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>>19579277
>You're a schizo. Have seen many posts of you and will ignore you.

Well, don't ask if you don't like the answer. I'm the only person on here who you're going to find close to being able to demonstrate the powers of gods. Just because you don't personally like an answer doesn't make that answer false. You seem to think possession of divine authority is something handed out willy nilly to anyone - that you'd even ask "how do I learn to be a witch?" shows how confused you are about theology.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DZbXf0Fyn0

>>19579276
Yessssss, thank you. I was thinking of this image the other day. Saved.

>>19579293
>I know guys like him. Talked to them countless times before and... nothing. So I'm not interested to hear anything from this "kind" of faggot anymore.
Because you had no results doesn't mean perception on things of this "faggot" was wrong. Attacking people who bring you unpleasant truths to help because you'd rather head something different is only proving you shouldn't be helped.

>Also let's not forget how smug and aggressive they were themselves.
They weren't. Unless I mistook them for someone else. At some point other anons chimed in and if you dumped it all on one of them, you just mistreated a person who came to help you. Good job. Keep it like this and I am sure you'll grow to be a great witch. Or some sort of *itch, in any case.

>>19579319
I will be a bitch-witch, you sensiitive turtle.

>>19579324
My turtle shell is very delicate. But oh so pretty. With a nice pattern. You'll do well to appreciate it.

>>19579333
I can't, I'm a bitch. Maybe you'll find an itch-witch. They aren't bitchy, just itchy.

So hilarious. I'm laughing myself to death. Well, you got the point...

>>19579339
Be a different bitch then. A female dog, but a good, loyal, pleasant dog friend. Far more fitting attitude if you'd ever want to run around in stupid, black hat with a purple ring and heal people.

>>19579344
I'm loyal. But my attitude is how it is, most people don't like, some do. Doesn't really matter? Honestly if someone was only turned off by something as superficial as "4chan attitude" and isn't able to look past that or find any charm in it, then I don't need them in my life anyway.

Consider it a filter.

Oooooone other question, OP.

How do you feel about not needing food to survive?

>>19579360
I love food. I'm a pretty oral (nothing degenerate) fixated person. What does food have to do with becoming a witch though?

>>19579366
Nothing, just considering the non-human entities hypothesis.

>>19579374
And? Do non-human entities don't like food? Or consider it unimportant?

>>19579360
Fasting is to your body as meditation is to your mind.

Remove all the stimulus for a bit... and you'll realize that "normal" isn't what you thought normal was, at all. The silence fades and becomes something else. Unnecessary hunger fades and its energies are used for its true purposes.

>>19579355
Take into consideration that here, your 4chan attitude is the only attitude people know of you. And that will shape their responses. We don't know you, you don't know us but you came here looking for help. It may be unfair but you gotta brave the bad and be sure to be thankful and understanding for good - even when it doesn't sound good.

>>19579397
I'm pretty well behaved and nice to people who are totally calm and friendly, no? I mean in this thread I got some people mixed up and might have replied to "innocent" people in a more rash tone but otherwise...

>>19579382
Anon here hit some vague tones so I should point out semi-obvious thing of everything in moderation. A day once a couple of weeks of fasting is fine. Do more than a day or two of 'real' (no food whatsoever) fasting every few days and your health may start to suffer.

>>19579380
Some people consider vampires to be non-human, for example. Not requiring some form of mortal sustenance would mean that you had no reason to live among humans or care about their shit. Potentially, with enough magic, you could transcend the entire food chain. If the witch I'm positing were a species akin to itself, overflowing with magical energy, it would likely evolve to not need food so much.

And based on how people are reacting to you, I have little hope for a world where humans can coexist with such a thing.

>>19579410
I actually want to become a witch to find vampires. My brain is damaged.

>>19579403
>tfw no pretty well behaved and nice with gf
No choice then, you should become my waifu!

>>19579415
Damaged brain is bad for witchery. And vampires don't exist. At most you have occultists using blood or goths taking it cause its their kink or they like to roleplay vampires.

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>>19579432
YOU DON'T KNOW IF VAMPIRES EXIST! THEY WOULD LIVE IN SECRET AND NOT SHOW THEMSELVES!

WHEN I BECOME A WITCH I WILL HAVE THE ABILITY TO TRACK THEM DOWN OR BE USEFUL ENOUGH TO WITNESS THEIR TRUE NATURE! BUT AS A NORMAL HUMAN THAT I AM... I AM TOO STUPID AND POWERLESS TO GET THIS SHIT DONE!!!

>>19579441
Well, I can help you but only if you'll become my waifu!

Alright, if even I start writing silly shitposts now, I think I should go to bed. It's morning soon. People already answered your question together with providing plenty of links and things to consider and build upon for the future if you're serious about the whole occult thing.

>>19579409
I have every respect for another person's opinion... but I read "once every couple weeks" and became quite appalled.

It's going to take a day or two of "ancient fasting" to even begin to feel the energies generated by your solar plexus. Research into ancient dietary habits will show all humans once ate meals 3-4 times a week while fasting on days in between by consuming fresh fruits and vegetables.

No one is suggesting someone go starve themselves for three days... but research and introspect and think about what forces ancient peoples might have been attuned with in themselves, and consider how appalled they would be at another human being who ate three times a day, every day of the week.

>>19579452
No! I don't want to! But /x/ is filled with women and FAR cuter and better behaved ones than me, so you'll find a great one eventually.

Good night. Or rather, good morning. Thank you.

>>19579455
I fasted for 21 days and haven't felt any spiritual effect, just saying. I was just miserably hungry and bored.

>>19579455
Ah, see, that's the difference. Your fast is the one with fruits and vegs. I am talking about hardcore no-eating thing, just water and maybe juice. More than a couple of days of that for an average person adjusted to certain regularity of meals since childhood and it will have adverse effects. Doing it too often, more than once in a couple of weeks may also lead to other issues long-term as it will take several days after such fast in the first place for the body to regulate everything well.

>>19579480
Interesting. All of my experiences in the matter have taught me that such tastings are the regulation... and returning to processed foods filled with chemicals and modifications as that which spirals the body out of focus yet again.

>>19579513
expired

>>19578271

Get off your computer, go to Essex.

>>19578392
Just major computer sciences then.

>>19578271
Just don't.
You're going to be associated with those nerds the Wiccans. Jesus christ those people suck the fun out of everything.

Besides, as mentioned here, witches are coven based. At the end of the day all you're going to learn is what another lowly mortal can tell you.
Do yourself a favor and evoke the power of demons instead if you want to learn.

>>19579780
Oh yeah? Which demons though? The Goetia ones are clowns.

>>19578362
>"witch" powers
Your preconceived notions aren't going to get you far.

>>19578518
>>19578568
>>19578789
^^^^^^^^^^^^

>>19579862
>Translation: "I'm a roleplayer and I'm comfortable in my snowflake-magic-LARP of magic that can't be seen or proven in any way. How convenient! I'm a normal, powerless person but I like to pretend I can use magic even though my life is like any other normalfags life. If you disagree with this, I will laugh about you and say you only want Hollywood magic."

>>19579870
What are you here for anon? We clearly can't tell you what you want to hear.
You'll never wear long robes and shoot fire from your hands, that's what video games are for.

You're painting us as unreasonable LARPers because you're unwilling to accept that reality might be different than what you imagined. You ridicule because changing your way of thinking seems incredibly unreasonable, since we must be either roleplaying or delusional. Is that it?

But here's the thing, you're still here.

>>19579917
You don't get it. I don't accept that self-suggestion/confirmation roleplay shit that 99,9% of occult, wizard and witch-fags do as real magic. If you think that's the real deal, good for you. Do your thing, whatever.

But I want to see and know if there's something REAL beyond this. Something more tangible and powerful. Magic that you can witness. And no that doesn't mean insane Merlin Hollywood fireballs and teleportation.

Imagine a scale or something.

Roleplay Magic: This is all stuff that is easy to fake and believe for the gullible and what most if not all of you do. Human brains LOVE to see pattern and confirm things even when there's nothing. We evolved that way. All magic in this area are things that anyone else can and does too AND that isn't evidence.

"Low" yet clearly evident magic: This would be stuff that would be almost impossible or VERY hard to fake unless you're insane or on drugs. Things like that would be acoustic or visual effects... smoke appearing, a voice whispering out of nowhere. Reading your mind, producing a small flame in your hand, being able to see a bit of the future.

That's what I am looking for.

"High" Hollywood magic: Summoning a real demon out of nowhere, teleportation, shooting lasers, levitating, super human strength. Shit like that.

This is not what I'm talking about.

>>19579934
Okay, I get what you mean, and I understand what it is you want to see, but here's the thing these tiers you've created are arbitruary. All magic is magic, it's not about the effect, what you see and what you get, it's about how it's being done.

It is impossible to get anything other than a chance occurence when you haven't spent time and energy understanding how magic works, and how the spell itself is only a means to getting the desired result. Wtichcraft requires dedication, it requires studying. Learning how to feel the energy and direct it, knowing how to make your will known to the astral plane and ground it in the real world. You can't pick any random spell and expect it to work just because you said the words and burned the candles.

I understand the kind of proof you want, but I doubt you're commited enough to get it. At risk of being called a LARPer once more, doubt really impedes your ability, and while I understand absolute belief in something you consider ridiculous is almost impossible, casting a spell while second guessing the result is a waste of time.

If you're indeed serious about this, start with energy manipulation and hermetics.

>>19579980
I would have no problems with doubt if I could find someone who could show it to me because then it would be obviously confirmed to be real. Now I know... I know... the people who are able (assuming magic exists at all) to perform these things probably do not give a shit if a random person like me wants to see it and neither do they run around announcing their abilities.

Understood, but with all these things I want to see, I will try regardless to find the right person.

>doubt really impedes your ability, and while I understand absolute belief in something you consider ridiculous is almost impossible, casting a spell while second guessing the result is a waste of time.

I had almost absolute belief when I was younger. I started seeking all things supernatural when I was a little child until now, several years over 20. It's just that as the years passed and I've only met disappointments my belief eroded.

>If you're indeed serious about this, start with energy manipulation and hermetics.

I will probably start meditating again for now despite the annoying tinnitus and body twitches.

>>19579980
Bruh the bait is too real, how do you manage to keep em held on that long? 5 fucking hours dude Jesus Christ that's some serious dedication kek

>>19579994
What are you even babbling about, imbecile?

>>19579993
If you're serious about magic or whatever the fuck fairy shit you want dude, go to science. It's the closest thing you'll get to it.

>Inb4 larping fags say science isn't even close to magic
>Kek at the fat chinsweaters

>>19580002
Lol BRUH! Science, my dude! Not gay fairy shit braaah! xD

Thanks for your input.

>>19579993
I don't know if you'll find the right person but even if you don't there are other things you can do.

>It's just that as the years passed and I've only met disappointments my belief eroded.
That's understandable, but you really need to fight the cynicism and be a little more open-minded about what constitutes a result. We're still bound to the laws of physics. Things happening in a roundabout way are still things happening.

Energy manipulations is fast to learn and might even serve as a confirmation that pushes you forward. And trust me it's a hell of a lot more fun than meditation.

Another thing you can do, since it does kind of fit the whole seeing results thing that you've got going on is pick up a tarot deck. I can already tell you're going to be reluctant to this, but remember what I said about openmindedness and cynicism.

>>19580031
I was in several groups of "energy manipulators" and they were all insane and delusional as fuck, literally.

They thought they could scan each other, or tell how someone was feeling through their energies. Attempted this with me too, obviously didn't work. Never did.

For example I remember one guy who was in a skype call with me and doing some of his energy techniques and applying them on me or whatever. He was totally confused why I didn't notice or felt anything because he said it always worked with his pupils. Yeaaah...

Anyway, based on things like that it's really hard for me to take this serious at all. If I had only met one person in all this time who was legit it would be much easier.

Thank you anyway. I'll consider it.

>>19580039
I see. For the time being look up energy/qi balls and work on feeling the energy. I think that's really important as a first step, and I'll give you a book too, in a few minutes.

>>19580039
>>19580066
Here you go:
https://mega.nz/#!O99lnCJJ!sHNGJzUg314yeeQkkTmN7onn5HoB4XVFAql6sJSj-PQ

Still recommend you do energy balls first, but this book is really helpful.

>>19580075
>>19580066
Yes, energy balls. I was instructed to do that and practiced it for several weeks and that was 2-3 years ago. But I didn't continue because I felt nothing.

I'll check out the book, but not having any hopes honestly.

>>19578491
Nasty trick, loser. Someone asks you how to perform magic, and you ask them what it feels like? Their initial inquiry proved they don't have your answer. Now you're just proving you don't know how to communicate by blaming the other party for a problem you created in the comms line.

>>19580177
Why are you calling it a trick?

>>19580095
Perhaps you need to try a different method then? I've heard of people not being able to feel it, but I think with enough practice it should happen.
If nothing happens still, hopefully the book will help with that.

Not having high hopes is doing you a disservice anon, try to go into it without any expectations.

>>19580202
> try to go into it without any expectations.

I'll try.

I don't consider myself a witch. I said I hated my dog and he immediately jumped in front of a large truck. I had a night terror about boils and my cousin overdosed on heroin. I left my church angrily and it got hit by a storm, ripping the wall off. My father lied to me about raping my siblings and he lost his mind. Stuff like that. If you're sure it exists, you don't want it to. The kind of people you're talking about kill theirselves if they have any semblance of a soul.

There must be people with no souls, because I pick up books, read them, and usually it works, it's the abrahamic stuff what doesn't work for me, but all the eastern stuff like meditation, you do it and you feel better.
You summon a demon like abraxas from the qliphoth and he comes.

These people must have no souls, since they are incapable of attracting the supernatural. For me it works.

>>19579934
>
Here are my two cents take it or leave it.

we all can and choose to experience "magic" differently. Mines just happened to be when I got incredibly high and challenged something from the other side enough that it manifested in a full fledge shadow. and foreshadowing dreams.

This is my truth to you.
I did the same a couple years back and all I was told was to read and pick up books. Your intuition will guide you along the way(if you are in touch with it). Think of it like when you get to sleep or hungry pay attention to it.

The magic you wish to see does not come over night. As many crafts, you must practice and be patient. Honestly by your response, you seem to just lack the patience.

Deja Vu (future dreams) some have it others don't. Same as not everyone can be really well at something.

Most importantly you must give in, not apathetically, not with expectation, or with cynicism.

>>19579870
>people tell OP what to expect or nto in magic
>people say that a lot of stuff is possible, but lot of it will be subtle and those who can do less than subtle things have no need for such
>people point OP to the advice
>OP disregards it, acts like an ass, attacks people who came with rare bits of wisdom in this thread, all because anons didn't indulge her fantasies or wanted to lie and roleplay bullshit
>makes assumptions about posters, takes "those who can do stuff don't do it the flashy way" as "they don't do anything, all's a coincidence" either not understanding what anons meant or intentionally misinterpreting it to bash on them.

OP, you're shit at asking for help and shit at recognizing it. You think yourself loyal and nice when people are friendly but you've intentionally misinterpreted and tried to poke holes in some of the best advice ITT you got and all only because it didn't indulge your lust for power(trip). I don't expect you ever getting anywhere with this attitude.

God fucking damnit what a retarded OP and a worthless thread
Your kind gives me edgy ideas

>>19578518
>>19579175
>>19580220
these

people should've realized OP was a troll not arguing in good faith and left it

What the fuck is with this hat shit?

Also, neon-ass yellow. What does that tell you?

>>19578271
Protip: if someone talks exclusively about being in or practicing the occult, they probably don't know much. Unless they want you involved, for some reason.

>>19580286
Did it manifest while you were high?

>>19580962
>What the fuck is with this hat shit?

He turns you into a real witch if you tell him your hat color. I'm a grand matron now and can shoot lightning out of my hands. Want to join my coven?

>>19578271
It's your lucky day faggot. Read Scott Cunningham.

>>19581409
>Scott Douglas Cunningham was a U.S. writer. Cunningham is the author of several books on Wicca
>Wicca

He sounds casual as fuck.

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>>19579994

>>19581419
Not even the person who wrote that but his books are pretty light on the religious crap.
His crystals one is kinda meh imo but the one on kitchen magic is pretty good and I keep referencing the herb one so much I'm considering buying a physical copy.

>>19582116
These random wicca/occult/magic books everyone can just buy and looks at can't be the key to real witchcraft because all those people who do are still just roleplayers.

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>>19578271

"Advanced Magic for Beginners"
https://butlincat.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/advanced-magick-for-beginners-alan-chapman.pdf

That's what you're looking for.

>>19582148
>>19582135

>>19582135
I said there's barely any religious bullshit in his books.

Boy, you really like calling people roleplayers, don't you OP?

Also
>the key to real witchcraft
You're the one sounding like a roleplayer.

>>19582158
If real witches exist and can do real shit, you're not going to learn it from a retarded online Wicca book because all you fags are proof it doesn't work.

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>>19582135
Nah I'm doing really good actually. I mean not a super star or billionaire, but I've gone from ghetto shit to a comfy home owner that's retired in a nice neighborhood, and I'm not even 30 yet.

>>19582148
might be worth a shot. Not if you're looking for a +3 fireball spell; but rather if you're looking for a way to warp reality to achieve your preferred comfy experience.

>>19582180
>I've gone from ghetto shit to a comfy home owner that's retired in a nice neighborhood,

No shit nigga. Something that thousands of other people around the world experience too without reading any occult books. Does it some extra snowflake-flavor to it when you just pretend it's through totally invisible magic powers?

>>19578271
Lick my butt hole and you'll become a witch

>>19582169
Gee, thank you for gracing us with your worthless opinion on occultism OP. You're clearly all knowing, that's why you're on /x/ asking how to become a witch.

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nice thread, I learned a lot lol

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>>19582189

Almost like the easiest path to achieve my goals happened. Almost like the universe prefers to take the path of least resistance. Almost like it's easier to do magic if you follow the rules that billions of other consciousnesses go by, and the further you deviate from that zeitgeist the more resistance you get.

You exist within the context of the paradigm you choose. You have obviously chosen a narrow band scientific paradigm; so in your own language:
Placebo effect, a ubiquitous factor that has to be controlled for with virtually anything being tested on people. The placebo effect is proof that the brain can trick itself into getting a positive/negative result in health/attitude/chance of success/ect, with will alone. Now imagine what would happen if you stacked the effects of a placebo over the long term. Now imagine what would happen if you didn't need trick yourself because you had a functional understanding of the underlying psychological mechanism in place, and furthermore could focus said mechanism like a laser at will.

But hey, it's your life, choose your own adventure my dude.

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>>19582233
You don't know shit either. You're just jerking yourself off to your confirmation bias and self-suggestive bullshit like 99% of occultfags yet aren't able to produce ANY magical effect that would be evident and supernatural.

Why? Because that obviously doesn't work when all you can do is roleplay or it only works with people as gullible as you are and who will indulge your bullshit.

Video related: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOOh2J1b3lQ

>>19582259
The fact that millions of people tried and practiced "magic" and yet never got anywhere with their lives is proof that the shit you do doesn't work. You're deluded. Nothing you can do can produce ANY kind of effect that a person can witness, not even the tiniest one.

You just focus on your life, eventually good things happens (as to everyone) and it will confirm your bias that it had to be magic.

>>19582271
You're a lost cause OP. People tried to be nice to you, reasonable, agressive... all to try to make you listen to answers you sought, yet you stick to your own tune. You'll never find what you seek this way. Remember this is the reality you've created for yourself.

>>19582291
They are trying to force the same shit on me over and over again. It's not for me. I want to know if witches exist or not. Not if normal, every day people who roleplay exist.

>>19582296
You wanted to become one and that's what people told you how to achieve.
Witches exist, it's just magic that exists is nothing like what you hope it is. It isn't roleplay as it may bring you some spooky and weird experiences, but it's also not what you hope to get, at least not till you go quite far and by then you won't care about or need whatever popculture-like magic you'll be able to do.

>>19578582
you'll read minds if you pay enough attention; it's all intent. and practice gives skills and results.
if you care enough you can create wonders but yeah if you don't trust it, it can't work. so having it proved just to have it proven won't work. you cant fool yourself

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>>19582271
>The fact that millions of people tried and practiced "magic" and yet never got anywhere with their lives is proof that the shit you do doesn't work

So much wrong with that "proof". If everyone who ever lived tried something, and failed, it doesn't mean that it's not possible. Also you're assuming the people who are successful would be public/trying to sell you shit; no they keep that shit to themselves. It never ends well if you tell people about this stuff in real life, they'll either think you're eccentric or get fearful(much worse).

It's the same reason serial killers have low IQs on average; the smart ones don't get caught.

>Nothing you can do can produce ANY kind of effect that a person can witness, not even the tiniest one.

You win, you'll never do any magic. Magic isn't real for you. Enjoy your "life".

>>19578623
there's no special snowflake effect to it, thread is precisely telling you everyone can do it, mentionning "normal" people with normal lives they came across during theirs

>>19582296
Read this >>19582316 several times, until it gets through to you.

But also, you keep accusing people of roleplaying. If you think about it, why the hell wouldn't we roleplay something more impressive. Instead of taking on a hard to understand approach that completely strays from what most people think of as magic? And why would be so commited to it, and trying to "trick" people.

No one's trying to push anything on you, you keep receiving the same answers over and over for a reason. Either take it or leave it, they're not going to change.

This fucking thread:
>How do I magic?
>No I mean how do I magic the way I think magic should work.
>You don't adhere to my random ass standards, therefore LARPer.'
>WHY ARE YOU NOT TELLING ME WHAT I WANT TO HEAR

Legend says OP's autistic schreeching was heard around the globe.

>>19578271
You need to be a REAL female. I'm sorry OP.

>>19578919
start with mathematics, learn statistics and play around
if all you want is proof that magic exists that's where I'd go

>>19580177
>what it feels like
Yes, what does it feel like to you?
>your answer
My answer? I've already given my answer. Not now, not at any time you might have witnessed it, but I've answered it before. My answer is irrelevant though. It's your answer that holds any value to you. I wasn't looking for my answer, I was asking for their answer, whatever it would turn out to be. That's the magic of it.
>blaming
Uh, no? We had a fine conversation and it ended. I didn't blame anything on them and as far as I saw they weren't blaming anything on me. I have no idea why you would think any blame was involved, or must less what you think you're defending or what you think my intent was. You don't appear to be correct about any of it.

>>19582351
What OP means by "roleplay" is a lot different than the way /x/ uses the term. We basically use it to mean "fake," as in, someone writing a story they never actually experienced. OP's definition is more akin to, "Pretending your lot is based on unconscious fate crafting rather than the usual roll of fortune." In other words, if all the magic, if all your beliefs only affects things within the scope of random chance, then the "role" you're playing isn't what made you successful, and not being the true cause of your success, is just that: A role.

What OP doesn't appear to understand is that humans live their lives by playing roles. Baker, butcher, fireman, friend. Lover, hater, activist, politician. The way OP uses "role" basically just translates to character. Thus, adjusting your internal "character" using magical practices and rituals is "role" playing. It's not a human usage of the term at all.

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Hopefully some lurkers more insightful than OP will find the pearls lost in the mud of this post.

I watched an anime about this recently. You need to go to a witch school (you might get bullied if you don't know how to fly yet, but stay strong) and become friends with cute anime witches.

>>19582387
The only autists are you guys and how buttblasted you get when I call you out on your delusions. Reading these public shit-books and circlejerking your powerless selves in the occult general made no one a witch. Stay triggered.

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I dream of a universe where I can hold hands with you cuties believing in all the psycho-babble you tell yourselves.

>>19578271
>Because every "witch" or person who dabbles in the occult I talked to before couldn't do shit.

thats because their idea of magic exists only in fantasy and not reality. they convince themselves otherwise with performance psychology and confirmation bias.

>>19583658
Yeah. I have notices that.

However I do believe that it could be possible that real magic exists regardless. But these people obviously don't use it.

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My child, there is nothing simpler than magic. really. I've studied arcane phenomena and occultism for decades, and I've encountered many interesting people with extraordinary gifts and (it makes me chuckle to use the word) "powers".

The core of all magic is irrefutably based in mathematics. An old man I bore a striking resemblance to (who I now know is related closely, but not my father, nor my twin) gave me his life's work in the form of a small handmade leatherbound book. It taught me that through moderately long periods of undisturbed meditation on the subjects of Trigonometry, Calculus, and how they structure the very universe, I could see beyond the normal.

To practice Magic, you must first comprehend this structure and be consistently able to view things as they truly are. The advancement from comprehension to actually drawing energy from the universe is simple but difficult; you must find one of the many places where the structure is flawed and meditate/focus on it. Flaws such as these release energy, and said energy can be corralled into usable forms like oxygen.

>>19583729
Ok so.. what can you do that I can't?

>>19583793
He can solve high school level math problems slightly better than his classmates can.

>>19583793
I can look upon a man and know what he has done, who he has been in live before, and who he will become with Time.

The problem with this thread is that people aren't answering the question in the right way.

How? I outlined that already in my first comments.
Are there witches? Most certainly. The traditional witch did not have access to calculators and mathematical sciences like we do now, so their magic was flashier and less practical. That magic still exists today, but because of societal changes it stands out much more.

Magic as you want it does exist, but it's not easy. By the time you can "summon forth a fireball to vanquish your foes" you'll be bored with the notion. I've found that the human mind is far more fun to play with than the flashy magic mumbo jumbo. But that's just me.

The old man that unlocked my front door with a key that I keep in my bedroom, and sat down on my recliner in my living rooms the same position I do when I read, and began to read the newspaper was a startlingly fascinating fellow. We stood in front of a mirror and he just laughed. Magic is real, he told me. Keep pushing, you'll make a breakthrough soon. And when you do, read this.

He gave me his book, and left through the front door. I should remark, that he left my key on the coffee table. I went to put it back on my dresser, only to find that I now had two keys.

>>19583861
AND I CAN FLY ON MY MAHIC BROOMSTICK, WHILE JACKING OFF WITH MY TEN THOUSAND MAGIC ARMS AND WHEN I CUM ITS MAGIC FLUID THAT FORMS INTO BUBBLES AND FLOATS AROUND AND IT CAN TALK AND YOURE A CRACKHEAD

>>19583861
Cool. So why don't you look at me and prove that?

>>19583868
Oh, I'll look at you.
Right through the miles and miles and miles that physically separate us.
Usually when people say look at something, they mean they can physically see it dear.

Besides, why would I peek at you at this hour?

>>19583881

Hurrr durrr magic isn't real

>>19583881
Are you saying it only works IRL and not with pictures? How convenient...

>>19583885
Really, captain?

What compels you to derail a thread such as This?

>>19583888
inb4
>it does work with pictures I just don't feel like doing it right now

I'll tell you what I told the last eccentric liar I met that said he'd "unlocked the secrets of magic".

Magic is boring, it's hard, and there are rarely any hot witch milfs at the yearly summits. Mostly just old dudes.

So say whatever bullshit you want to this poor kid, doesn't make much difference to me.

Cum in pies bro, cum in pies

>>19583900
Listen here you ginger haired faggot, I won't have you disrespect my work or the work of me again. Shut up and go back to pol captain.

>>19578271
"Witch" is merely a title. Some people who practice magic choose to use it. Some do not. Some choose another title, and some choose not to use a title.

If you think being a witch means you are something special, you are severely mistaken.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is very much exactly the sort of thing people accomplish with magic. Inner change, personal development, enlightenment, are the ultimate goals of most traditions.

If you want to shoot fireballs or levitate, go watch a cartoon. This is not a kid's show. This is real life.

Now grow the fuck up and stop expecting fireworks where none exist.

>>19583908
So you are ignoring my question and you being able to prove and back up your claims to reply and fight with trolls.

You're obviously a mentally ill fraud. Next.

>>19583908
Inb4
>something specific to make it look like I can use magic to know about you

I'm a brunette occultfag, and btw your grammar is about as well structured as your insults.

Pæx your bags kid, and go the fuck back to Trogworts

>>19583933
YOU. FUCKING READ.
You want magic huh? I'll give you some fucking magic you bossy lil cunt. All I need is a picture of you and I can tell exactly who the fuck you are. Not hard. just one good look and boom, I got your demanding ass pegged. Seriously, all these occult prays who can't do magic need to implode or leave

>>19583959
Dude chill the fuck out

>>19583967
SEE? I offer the little bitch proof and she tells me to fuck off! Fucking cunty little kids these days, no respect for their elders.

You wanted that newfag obvious shitposting liar to do magic but you won't let a real fucking person give it a whack because they're rude? WAAA WAAA

You want to be a fucking witch? Open yourself to some different ways of thinking. Seeing isn't always believing (total bullshit in my opinion, but other practicians of magic can vouche for the cliche)

Besides, if you told us EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK MAGIC IS that'd be great

Someone call /pol, I think one of their mongoloids escaped containment
>That'd be great

>>19583999
Well, that paex cunt pretty much summe sit up, but he made it fake and gay

>>19583999
I was taught by an old blind wanderer whilst taking a gap year cross country road trip before college like fifteen years ago. He knew what I looked like, down to the smallest of freckles. Hell, he knew what my dick looked like. But he was physically blind. He showed me what he'd been taught as a young gentleman who'd taken and interest in advanced occult and magic stuff.

That was easy

>>19584043
You sure got some pendulous breasts

Honestly, I'd focus on your twitch career instead of becoming a larper. You're an attractive female with what seems to be a good setup for streaming, so you could be making bank.

>>19584080
I know right, she got some smooth knockers on her

Ayo girl, what's yo sign?

>>19584030
>>19584025
These dumb sluts always are.

>>19584116
Bet I could do summin magical with dem nudies gurl

>>19584025
You just fucked your own thread for good

go to my village in Mexico there's a ton of witches, but only go if your brave and can take physiological punishment. there's a test where a lot of the indicated go crazy from what they see

>>19584205
Please don't post pictures of my wife without her permission.

>>19584189
>"I never had sex"

Don't worry hun, We can tell.

The fact that she fell for the tits or gtfo in disguise means she wasn't smart enough to do magic.

The fact that this bitch thinks magic is real and that people run around reading minds, flying, and conjuring fire........ icing on the cake

>occultfags in a nutshell

Go back to streaming your flabby chest to a bunch of horny tweens, then marathon watching the Harry Potter series again while telling yourself you're special. leave the intelligent queries and Answers to the educated adults.

Nobody can deliver you silly girl.

Magic isn't real.

>magic isn't real
*citation needed captain

>cry harder please
I intend to

Uneducated mud skins, the lot of you. Calling me a fool and a pretender! I am a real wizard you sheep! I am the one!

>You're a bunch of dumb niggers because I'm on drugs and that make me Gandalf
—pæx

>>19584248
I'm just here to stir the pot to be honest.
I don't legitimately hate anyone except for newfags like pæx.

I wholeheartedly hope you find something that fills the hole in your life that magic won't (because it isn't real)

File: IMG_0164.jpg (584KB, 2000x1695px) Image search: [Google]

584KB, 2000x1695px

THE FINAL BATTLE BEGINS

For fuck sake.

What a cringe thread

>>19584279
They always are

>>19584025
You already look like a witch
A cute witch

>>19584205
Spiritually stifled, vain, and stupid

You will never be a witch

>>19584223
Your goal was to get a woman to post a picture of her face? That's all it takes to excite you?

I don't know what's more cringey, how desperate she is, or the anons that reply to her.

File: c6815649-f0f9-4eb8-a7f8-2b9cfb208b0b.jpg (92KB, 540x619px) Image search: [Google]

92KB, 540x619px

>>19579266
Hey, I'm new to the thread and I just wanna say thanks for dropping that link for the sake of convenience. I may turn out too occupied with other stuff to look too deeply but I appreciate it, and I sure won't dismiss it immediately like whack-ass OP!

the quantity of salty anons in this thread is hilarious good job op

>>19583273
Indeed I have! Also OP seems to be on broken record/buzzword mode. Makes me kinda worry a little bit if his pleasant life is just because he got a lucky accident with people using him based on his poor attitude.

>>19578518
>placebo and low cholesterol is now magic

>>19583999
He made a good point cunt, quit circling around it.

>if you told us EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK MAGIC IS that'd be great

>>19584189
Nah, she's been fucking it since yesterday.

>>19584518
Good. At least people trying to be helpful didn't completely waste their time.

>>19584025
Magic is real just look at the size of your tits

>>19585019
>reading someones mind
Not magic
>able to see bits of the future
Not magic
>producing a small flame or mist
If even possible, not feasable for someone as impatient.

Try again.

>>19585042
>Of course it's fucking magic.
According to a definition you made up. But no, it's fucking not.

You're very insistent of words such as "impossible". The world isn't nearly that clear cut sweetheart.

>Are you telling me everyone can read minds and see the future whenever they feel like it?
Yes I am. Most people aren't trained to do it, so on the off chance they do, they're unable to recognise it for what it is. When you develop your intuition enough affinities might pop up. Some poeople are better at having precognitions than reading others' minds for example.

>>19585071
>It's my definition and that is what I'm looking for.
The world doesn't bend to your will princess. Definitions exist for a reason. If you're gonna make shit up and will them into existence you can do better than that.

>You're not omnipotent either
I'm not, but I'm the one saying "I made it up, but that's how it is". I've learned and cross-referenced what I'm saying in the span of years.

>If I meet a person who on command can read my mind, they are able to use magic powers in my eyes.
Sure, but that doesn't make it magic. What you asked to learn was magic and people gave you just that.

>>19585101
>by saying special words or performing special actions
Did ya read that part?

>Ok... then what is it?
It's an ability or skill.

>What do you call it when someone performs a supernatural feat that other people can't do or at least not on command?
>supernatural feat
I call it a fucking anime. We are bound to the laws of physics child.

Disregarding the "supernatural" bullshit. I call it what it is. If it's an ability that's what I call it, if it's witchcraft, that's what I call it, if it's working with spirits that's what I fucking call it.

>>19585117
>Who the fuck are you calling a child? I'm well over 20 and could beat your ass.
Clearly levelheaded enough to not get triggered by what someone called them and completely diserard their point. Yep, not a child at all. And you could beat my ass? What, do you plan to smother me with your tits?

>You can move along
Nah, you stumbling around in the dark, refusing to turn a light even when people are actually placing your hand directly on a switch is kind of amusing. I haven't seen this level of voluntary ignorance in a while.

>I'm going to find it
Good luck finding something you made up. Maybe in the astral plane, but nah, anything but meditating would be too hard, right?

>>19585154
Calm your tits dear. You're not in any position to demand answers out of anyone, much less people you've done your best to insult.

I was done trying to help you 5 posts ago, I'm not about to indulge you now.

>>19585177
Is that better for you? Do you feel validated in disregarding my opinion now? Lots of hard work appeasing that ego of yours, isn't it OP?

>>19585191
Confirmed for what? I haven't said one single thing about myself. But I'm glad you feel better, getting that triggered can't be good for you.

>>19585201
>Can I assist you any further?
Did you find me bothersome OP? Well, wouldn't wanna keep you from flaunting your tits on twitch, that hypertrophic ego has to keep itself sated somehow, I don't seem to be cooperating, do I?

OP deleting all her posts, actually hilarious.

Moar sexy witch pics

>>19585685
Didn't delete my posts. I trolled in another thread and got a warning from the mod which deleted all my current posts.