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Greentext Thread

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 363
Thread images: 115

File: Creepy-01.jpg (192KB, 625x433px) Image search: [Google]
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Come on in, turn off the lights, and share some scary stories
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>Be me
>wake up in middle of night
>I feel a strange sensation at the bottom of my spine
>like I'm being "drained" if there is even such a word for the sensation
>Still lying in bed, I feel paralyzed, but somehow manage to turn around using all of my strength
>A hooded figure gazing down upon me
>I don't show fear, I try to lunge foward
>Still paralyzed
>I stop trying, gather myself, and use all of my might to break free
>It's over before I give it my last shot
>Next morning, I tell my brother I had a weird night and say no more
>He proceeds to tell me that the dog was barking uncontrollably in front of the basement door
>Dog only barks when strangers are around
>Brother thinks somebody broke in, and tells me he got his pistol and had to clear the house
>The rest of the family confirms this later on
>The dog began to bark around 2:00am
>I woke up from my event around 2:05-ish

>Pic related is closest I could find to appearance of thing.
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>>19567802
Forgot to add, my room is right above the basement door...
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>>19567761

>throwing the rifle out of frustration while knowing it is a necessity to survive the current situation

Well written fake as fuck son desu
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bump
cant contribute as im not at home :(
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>>19567771
>>19567774
>>19567778
>>19567784
This dude was a prick of a son
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>Every night for four years old I'd have the exact same dream
>I'm lying in bed late at night
>An unreal amount of moonlight is coming through the window
>Entire room is basically glowing a dark blue
>Staring at the ceiling while laying on my bed
>Very slowly, can barely even notice it, begin floating out of my bed
>Completely level, body stiff
>Float across my room
>Lightly bump into wall
>Begin ascending
>Reach ceiling and instantly flip around, basically teleport myself
>Watching in tunnel-vision as I begin floating back across the room, this time on the ceiling
>Get directly over bed
>Air rushes at me from all directions, like several fans come at me all at once
>SHOOT down towards my bed, not fall or drift, am physically thrown
>Once I hit the bed I wake up
>I remember every single time I woke up I gasped and looked around my room
>I had this dream for EVERY NIGHT for the entirety of being 4

Anybody have any explanation?
The dream always happened the exact same way.
>>
does anyone have the one about the /fit/ guy fighting the demons?
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>>19567765
>Mary is high and drunk
>Majority of the group believes her

Is this evidence that people will believe anything regardless of context/reasoning?
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>>19567758
Fuck, finally.

I've been lurking /x/ for greentext stories for a week now. I was too lazy to make a post myself.
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>>19568724
>>
>Laying in bed one night, asleep
>Have a dream where I'm in bed laying down and some person that seemed familiar at the timewas talking to me, but they get upset that I'm not responding so they start yelling and making noise while getting closer to me.
>Eventually they put their mouth right next to my ear and start yelling, but I'm still not responding.
>"Wake up" within the dream and feel some force pushing on my back, into my bed. For some reason I cannot move but I can sorta "see" it from the corner of my eye
>It's an invisible or extremely transparent force, but it's spinning and applying constant pressure, yet somehow also bouncing, like it didn't have the strength to get the job done or something I dunno.
>It's making it very difficult to breathe, and I'm terrified.
>More than that though, I'm really upset this thing is interrupting my sleep, I'm really tired and need some real rest badly
>Elbow the thing in the face(?) and it disappears immediately
>Actually wake up as soon as my elbow "hits", still get the sensation like I was released from a heavy pressure.
>Look around, don't see anything
>Super tired, go back to bed.
>Never happens again

Not really paranormal, just a really strange dream.
>>
>>19568527

>every night

I've been studying child psychology for a couple years and here's my take on it: your actual memories don't even form until you're around five years old. That means that any memories you think you have beforehand are either hugely distorted or do not exist at all. So I'm guessing that you had that dream maybe once, twice, or even a few times at a very young age, but your brain just didn't know what to do with the memory other than clone it and smear it across an entire perceived year
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>>19567802
So he sucked you good?
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>>19567802
nice

any other story?
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>Come home one night, wife and kids on my bed
>Not sure what's worse, the fact they died 15 years ago or the fact someone came to dig them up.
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>>19569028
Yeah but too crazy. Even for /x/. I'll consider it though...
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>>19567802
You had sleep paralysis. Dog barking was a coincidence.
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>>19569137
I've had plenty of sleep paralyzes years prior. This was something different, and I saw what I saw.
>>
Got a story about how my house was robbed, not really spooky but still:
>Live in big woods UK about 5km radius
>One night
>Home alone
>watching pirated ride along 2 (fuck paying for shitty movies) in bedroom
the bedroom faces conservatory and deeper woods
>hear rustling from garden
>think nothing of it, foxes or some shit
now my house has a conservatory, and the door locks in a way that you can't pull the handle down all the way when it is locked, so it makes a thumping noise when it hits the lock
>anyway
>hear footsteps up to conservatory
>get a little spooked
>then all of a sudden
>'THUMP' know exactly what it is, someone trying to open door handle
>freeze up, do wakes up
> then 'THUMP' THUMP' THUMP' someone keeps trying to open door, harder this time almost trying to break lock, dog goes crazy
>runs downstairs and I follow switching lights on
> when getting closer, thumping stops and I see a black figure hop my fence in one jump and sprint into the forest
>nothing ever happened from then on and police found squat
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>>19570047
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>>19570059
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>>19570069
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>>19570081
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>>19570088
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>>19570092
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>>19570092
>>19570098
does anyone else have the other part to this?
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>>19570069
baby is a favorite. Seems like it could be a neat movie.
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>>19569114
Oh c'mon. You can't just say that and leave us hanging, lol. Let's hear it.
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>>19570438
>I know what that fucking smell means
I don't. Can someone explain what that's supposed to generally mean
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>>19570516
A lot of spoop stories describe a musky/rotten/coppery/bloody smell when something fucked up is lurkin around
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>>19570438
Thats pretty fuckin spooky
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>>19570438
Where in northern England did this take place? concerned
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This is a story that my mother told me. It started about 30 years ago and culminated after my birth. She waited for my to grow older before telling me it, though. I've written about it before, someone might've seen it on here on previous occasions.
>distant relatives' (we're related through a great-grandfather) house catches on fire one way or another
>some family heirlooms are saved and when relatives don't know where to put them, it's agreed that my parents would take them
Among stuff like old photographs was also a wooden statue of the Virgin Mary, about one metre in size, with its right hand damaged in the wrist. I'm not sure whether it was damaged when saved from the fire or if it was just something that happened with age. Anyway, the right hand is what everything revolves around. my parents put the statue in the front room of the house, on a table overlooking the front door.
>at some point, the hand falls off at the wrist
>mother decides she'll try putting it back
There are some nails in the hollow wrist, I'm not sure if they're from when she tried to fix it or not, I haven't asked her about it that much.
>hand doesn't hold for long, falls off again
>grandmother on father's side freezes to death in the woods on new year's eve soon after
Of course, this could've been a coincidence and my mother didn't think anything of it at that point.
>fast forward over a decade
>the hand is bothering my mother so she decides to try and put it back once again
>again, it doesn't stay on for long
>soon after, my grandfather's (her father's) health declines very suddenly over about two weeks and he dies
>she thinks back to the previous time the same happened and decides to leave the hand be
It has been around 14 years and the hand remains lying on the wooden pedestal next to the statue.
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>>19570516
>>19570634
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I refuse to let this thread die
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>>19572266
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>>19572267
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>>19572272
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>>19572276
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>>19572281
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>>19572287
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>>19572294
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>>19572298
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>>19572303
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>>19572309
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>>19572316
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>>19572323
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>>19572326
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>>19572331
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>>19568597
That one is gold, but I am on phone and that is on my Lap Top! :(
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>>19572335
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>>19572342
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>>19572346
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>>19572351
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>>19572357
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>>19572368

Anyone even reading these?
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>>19572373
I'm reading but I have nothing to post in return. Sorry, m8.
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>>19567833
spooky shit, ty for sharing
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>>19572389
Alright,i'll post a few more then
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>>19572430
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>>19572435
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>>19572442
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>>19572449
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>>19572454
>>
>go into the woods
>rate spooky and quiet
>bring dildo and bend over
>I'm so vuberable
>Dildo my ass and fap myself off

Best cum of my life
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>>19572459
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>>19572465
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>>19572469
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>>19572476

Last one gentlemen.
Enjoy
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>>19572465
Spooky as fuck
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>>19567758
>be me
>be 16 or so
>gettin high as fuck drinkin n shit
>see some spooky shit
makes u think...
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>>19567758
A short but spooky thing that happened to me.

>7-8 years old
>Wake up at 6 AM on a Saturday
>Hear grandma cooking up eggs for my grandpa because that's the only thing he eats
>Walk down hallway to kitchen
>Greet grandma and begin to head to kitchen
>Out of the corner of my eye I see something
>Look directly into hallway and see a man
>Think it's grandpa walking down to get his eggs
>Call out to him but he doesn't respond
>Slowly realize it's not him
>A man in a business suit with a short flat top
>Only problem is that he's a literal silhouette
>Blacker than the void itself, no light reflecting off him
>On top of that, he exists in the fucking Second-Dimension
>At this point I'm freaked the fuck out
>Dash into kitchen and back thinking he would be gone
>Nope.jpg
>Full panic mode engages
>Dash back into kitchen and hide behind grandma for a few minutes
>Look back and he's finally gone
>Tell family few hours later
>Since Hispanic they freak out and go full Jesus
>Holy Water, Crosses, Praying
>Now that I look back on it he must've been some sort of Shadow Man
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>feeling suicidal
>walking along a section of train track for a few hours
>starting to get dark
>feeling like I'm in a trance
>lose track of time
>walk past a bramble of dead bushes and cacti
>nearly pitch dark outside by now
>hear a fucking voice behind me, slightly high-pitched
>can't understand what it said, but I break out of my trance
>realize I'm about 10 miles away from home

>call a taxi ride home
>spend the next 48 hours without sleep
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Someone asked for the /fit/ guy who punched the gosts, here it is!
>>
>Be me a 9 years old kid
>Live in a remote mountainous village in a war torn country during the 90s
>People are struggling, food is scarce and the war has finally reached the outskirts of the village causing multiple deaths
>Everyone is scared shitless, and men of the village have few bullets and guns left and no electricity
>One night in late winter, a boy was walking towards his home normally from his grandparents house like he always did
>Suddenly the whole town hears a loud scream and many including me rushed to see what's happening
>We found the kid has pissed himself and his face is covered with dirt with his eyes wide open and in shock state
>After they pour water on his face and relentlessly screaming at him to say what happened, he starts talking while crying loudly and gasping
>"heads, man big, bags, with chains...he looked at me and I ran away screaming"
>Men ridiculed him and said he probably saw someone with bags going towards his home and he imagined things in the dark
>Days later, another kid got ran towards his home screaming the same thing
>The next night, another kid went messing..

Part1
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>>19567833
pretty spooky, but most plausible expl. would be it got 404ed and OP never came back after knocks on door, because his grampa had slaughtered people in this cave, feds got aware of the thread, knocked on his door, forced him to bring em there and made him a witness for the case...he diddnt came back because his grampa was a fucking murder...the carvings beings carvings of his victims faces...

just my shot at it!
>>
>>19572775


>Men decided to start a night patrol
>All kids were told not to leave their homes after the sun goes down
>They searched everywhere in the mountain until the dawn
>Next morning the army has arrived to town and all men had to hide in the mountain not to be imprisoned.
>For nights the village was terrorized not by invading army but a strange creature that kept on knocking on doors at night and peaking through windows in the dark
>The situation got so bad, even the army got wind of it and started searching for this thing/man
>Two days later the army retreated back to the outskirts of the village and the men went down from the mountain
>Along with them the messing boy
>He had shallow cuts all over his body
>He told them that a monster dressed in black plastic bags and chains and bones took him and beaten him and left him in the mountain
>The area of the mountain was known to the village
>For years the village people used a cave in the top of the mountain for a dreadful reason..

Part 2
>>
>go to woods
>camp and shit, fire guns LOL
>smell copper
>AWSHIT.jpg
>see six legged goat man slender man ghost monster running towards me
>I shoot and hit it, it takes my friend
>friend starts to act weird
>OHSHIT.jpg.gif.jpg
>le oh shit
>le le le copper
>run home
>never speak of it again
>>
>>19572831
ebin
>>
>>19572831
Woah man, pretty spooky.
>>
>>19572820
>The cave was used to bury children and miscarried births
>Men decided to set up an ambush for this thing
>All got armed with little they had, and some even got axes and large knives.
>They waited through the entire night until it seemed they lost all hope they'd find him
>It was about dawn when what appears to be a man dressed with nothing but black garbage bags and chains around his body with a large bag with bones sticking out of it came from afar
>They waited from a distance to see and know more, what he does next
>The man enters the cave and then comes out with a bucket full of dirt and empties it outside revealing what to be the remains of a child dead body
>He then proceeds to skin the limbs and take the bones inside his bag
>shockfaces.jpg in all men
>Attack mode engaged
>Man is caught and after heavy beatings they discovered he has been doing this for a while - digging children bodies
>Wacko thought he's some sort of wizard and wanted children bones to summon devils to service him
>The child was kidnapped for his blood


Needless to say this was a war zone and men didn't want someone scaring the shit out of their families more than they already are, so they killed the guy, buried his ass in the mountain and called it a day.


The end.
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>>19568527
astral projection?
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>>19572298
>mentions cell phone but doesnt take pictures of tracks
cmon man you fucked me obs not real :(
>>
>>19572881
Pretty good
>>
REEEE, I don't want this thread to die!
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>>19571608
I knew you were mexican since the very beggining of your post (there's something smelly when mexicans speak english, you just learn to recognize it)

Fucking Latinoamerica has the shittiest suspersticiouns, like seriously, people being afraid of owls because they think they are witches (and even fucking trying to make them speak out or just killing them) or thinking that a little statue of a skeleton can grant them wishes, or turning downwards a statue of a Saint to ask it shit and stuff

christ

your story is shit
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>>19573052
I'm sorry about your insecurities regarding your southern cousins but I'm from Slovenia.
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>>19572881
Seems to be trustworthy. Where u from?
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>>19567758
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>>19573098
not him but i love this reaction image
>>
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>>19570069
sequel
>>
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Does anyone have any spooky ghost greentexts? These spooky woodland creature stories are cool too but I miss the ghost stories
>>
gib more stories, I dont want this thread to die
>>
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my favorite short story
>>
>>19567758
I went camping with my friends one night, we got there late and had to set up camp in a place that was full of fricken briars and weeds and crap, but at least it was level.
Anyways, we smoked some kind bud, and got so high that we did our shrooms before we even got the tent pitched.

long story short, Jane started giggling and when I turned around my friend Buck was staring at me with this "oh shit" look and that's when I saw it.
>>
>>19567761
Lol. Snow in Florida?
>>
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>>19574053
>>
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Looking for an /x/ Discord server?
https://discord.gg/PVrZamw
>>
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>>19568597
I got you anon
>>
>>19574175
Thank you anon. Do have some really spooky ones? Like the most terrifying stories you've read
>>
Not really scary but strange af and probably symbolic of something. Within the past 2-3 months, on 3 seaparate occasions a bird has flown into a car I was in or driving in. What does it mean?
>>
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>spooky, scary green text
>accompanied by low quality, grainy photo at night with really high exposure

come on guys, don't do this. Put some effort in
>>
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I officially believe in Skinwalkers now. I know some of the stories are made up, but they have to come from somewhere, and like a month ago my gf and I had a weird experience. Gf and I browse 4chan together btw and we both have read about Skinwalkers

>Perseids meteor shower comes around
>live in big city so gf and I drive about 30 minutes out of town into the hills to go see them
>park on the side of the road between two farms
>pitch black outside save for the stars
>be looking for shooting stars
>hear what sounds like 10 coyotes start howling and yelping and making all sorts of noises over a hill a few hundred yards a way, followed by the sound of a cow in a lot of pain
>don't think much of it, probably some coyotes killed a cow
>keep watching shooting stars
>hear something cross the road out in front of my car, again just figure its an animal or something and don't pay much mind
>few minutes goes by and start to smell a really bad smell
>smells metallic, like often described, but also like a dirty nasty animal, like a mangy creature covered in blood
>be a little freaked out
>hear something drinking from a water source nearby
>then, hear a sound that sounds like an animal, but it sounded like it was trying to speak and sound like me
>it was in my exact tone of voice
>look at gf who is freaked the fuck out and say, "What if its a skinwalker?"
>we drop what we're doing and bolt to my car
>peel the fuck out of there so fast, nearly come to tears on the way home talking about it and how fucking scary it was
>>
/k/ommandos write the fucking worst spooks.
>several paragraphs of military jargon and jerking off on weapons
>oh also a poorly described monster that I either lost all my weapons and ran from or shot at and ran from, I guess
>>
>>19574726
SCP foundation is what you're looking for
>>
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Just popping into the thread, but what are some good Fleshgait creepypastas?
>>
>>19574576
a skin walker is stalking you idk
>>
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Anyone have Rapey the Centaur?
>>
>>19572287
That drawing looks alot like the scary stories for dark nights illustration
>>
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>>19572337
Welcome.
>>
>>19575271
Nevermind, found him >>19568262
>>
>>19569577
Our police are only good for finding butter knives and clamping down on mean tweets.
>>
>>19570059
>>19570081
Nigga, how do you not realize when a stranger joins your small group?

>>19570102
Is the third part a revelation that the skinwalker is nothing but a failed marine who was fucking one of his buddies wives and he may have/probably knocked her up and she may have diddled his daughter?
>>
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>>19567758
It never occurred to me what was supposed to be creepy about this image, aside from the ghost girl.
Now I see it, the rightmost deer's lips are pulled back and it's fucking snarling.
>>
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>Rothschilds bow to Bogdanoffs
>In contact with aliens
>Possess psychic-like abilities
>Control france with an iron but fair fist
>Own castles & banks globally
>Direct descendants of the ancient royal blood line
>Will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Bogdangrad will be be the first city)
>Own 99% of DNA editing research facilities on Earth
>First designer babies will in all likelihood be Bogdanoff babies
>both brothers said to have 215+ IQ, such intelligence on Earth has only existed deep in Tibetan monasteries & Area 51
>Ancient Indian scriptures tell of two angels who will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented technological progress with them
>They own Nanobot R&D labs around the world
>You likely have Bogdabots inside you right now
>The Bogdanoffs are in regular communication with the Archangels Michael and Gabriel, forwarding the word of God to the Orthodox Church. Who do you think set up the meeting between the pope & the Orthodox high command (First meeting between the two organisations in over 1000 years) and arranged the Orthodox leader's first trip to Antarctica in history literally a few days later to the Bogdanoff bunker in Wilkes land?
>They learned fluent French in under a week
>Nation states entrust their gold reserves with the twins. There's no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Bogdanoff
>The twins are about 7 decades old, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society
>In reality, they are timeless beings existing in all points of time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don't know their ultimate plans yet. We hope they're benevolent beings.
>>
>>19568262
>>19575271
>>19575349
>>
>>19570516
The smell of copper has been likened to the smell of blood by a sizable percentage of people. And if you smell blood, that's usually an indication there is something either dead or wounded in the area. Or a predator is nearby.
>>
>>19574719
>he doesn't actually fuck guns
>>
>>19568908
Why is it that now that I am an adult I literally dream like once a month but when I was younger I dreamt 3-4 times a week?
>>
>>19575218
>>19575222
Be like Bill.
>>
>>19567758
>be me
>hear sound on roof
>go outside at night because white
>nothing on roof
>go back in
>still hear it. like some one walking around on the roof
>remember that stuff is kinda similar to hinterkaifeck case.
>get spooped
>go to the bathroom
>hear poop hit water
>look because i always check the color and its gone
>phantom poop
>get spooped again
>sleep with lights on
>>
>>19568001
Nice one.
>>
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>>19572454
So the USFS plays live-action Bloodborne?
>>
>>
>>
>>19567758
I'm obsessed with watching creepy youtube videos right now. It's destroying my nerves.
>>
>>
>>19572678
Could be some sort of acoustic hallucination.
>>
Been looking for an explanation about this for years but never got one. Would be cool if you guys had ever heard anything like it.

>be me 8 years ago when I was 13
>mum and dad driving me to a mates house for a sleepover
>as we're driving me and my mum suddenly hear a crash, turn around to see one of the telephone poles fell and landed on top of the car behind us
>wires from the telephone pole snaking around on the road and shit
>mum starts freaking out, dad looks in the mirror but can't see anything
>at this point mum asks dad to stop the car and call emergency services but dad thinks we're just fucking with him so keeps driving
>they drop me off at friends house
>as they're driving back home, mum apparently tells dad to slow down as there's going to be ambulance and shit there.
>they drive past and everythings normal, the telephone poll is still there, no car, nothing

Me and my mum both saw it and my dad didn't. We thought maybe we saw the future or some shit but nothing like that has happened.
>>
>coming up to christmas when i was in early teens
>older brother is due home from college
>have to share room with younger brother while he's back
>older brother comes back into town and goes drinking with friends and tells us not to wait up for him
>last one up to bed
>stock up range with coal and close every door downstairs to keep house cozy like I always do
>wake up around 2ish
>bed is right next to the wall with brother's room on other side
>hear noises and think he's come home
>try to get up but completely paralyzed
>lying on side, facing wall, barely able to blink
>hear tapping on the wall coming from right beside my bed, like it's being done with a long fingernail
>sounds like they're tapping the exact spot on the wall I'm looking at very loudly
>younger brother who's a horrendously light sleeper doesn't wake up
>tapping stops
>roll onto my back with great difficulty but see something through window above my bedroom door
>really shadowy but I see its eyes
>sees me looking and goes
>tell myself over and over it's just my brother even though I know it isn't
>paralysis eventually wears off but too terrified to sleep or get up
>wait until half 7 when dad gets up
>come downstairs and house is freezing
>all doors open and ashes in range are cold despite it normally burning through the night
>dad looks at phone and has a message from brother saying he's staying at a friends
Over 10 years later and I still have no idea what the fuck it was. No one believes me about it.
>>
Anyone have the story about the DC subway system
Thanks
>>
>>19568527
kaguya is up there on the moon and she wants to marry you
>>
>>19576022
Alcohol.
>>
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From this thread here

>>19576377
>>
>>19576042
An autistic /k/ommando wet dream/self insert?
>>
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>>19567802
It was an anus dementor, Harry. Should have used Wingardium Leviosa
>>
>>19568001
Good read.
>>
>>19569073
That's a good one. Bravo.
>>
>Be me, mid 20's living alone
>Wake up in the dead of night, really odd abdominal cramps for some bizarre reason. No idea why
>Go through to the bathroom
>Sit down and get ready to poop
>Straining
>Suddenly hear this really odd raspy/gurgling sort of rushing air sound like a balloon deflating
>Whole room fills up with this awful smell of rotten meat out of nowhere
>Hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Have this unreal feeling of dread
>Whole house has gone dead silent. I live in the countryside and normally you can hear some animals at night at least.
>Cramps have gone but there's no poop? There's literally nothing there.
>Freak out, switch on all the lights, get my 12 gauge out of the closet and start shouting as loud as I can to scare away anything close by
>Eventually calm down but I have no idea what happened to this day. Haven't had anything like it before or since.
>Still scared to go to the bathroom at night to this day

Got chills just typing this out even now. No idea what happened.
>>
This thread needs more Sasquatch

>Be me
>Camping with three friends in the mountains near BC border. Kananaskis country
>Camp set up about six miles from the main highway
>Always heard stories of Sasquatch, and loved them
>None of my friends believed in it
>Late at night, close to 1 am
>Me and two other friends are sitting around the fire as it dies
>Other friend is asleep
>Can hear knocking sound in the distance
>"Anon did you hear that?"
>Say yes
>Grab stick and hit it against a tree three times
>Pause to listen
>"WTF Anon"
>Do it again
>This time answered with another knock
>Both friends now listening
>Suddenly heard sound from through the mountains
>Hard to gauge distance
>Sounds like nothing we ever heard
>Grin and hit the tree again
>Hear the call again
>Suddenly a second, this time closer
>Freaking out now and other friend has woken up
>All around the fire looking and listening
>Hear something going through the brush
>Can't see it
>All freeze
>Another call in the distance
>Thing in bush stops
>Suddenly it calls back
>Howling and screaming
>Clearly close. Maybe twenty feet away
>"Think it can see us Anon?"
>"Probably can"
>Silent
>Think it's watching us
>Can hear it fucking breathing
>Watch the brush we heard it from
>Hear movement in brush again, this time moving away
>Knocks continue into the night
>Everyone sleeps really uneasy
>Nothing else happens though
>Not saying it was sasquatch
>But it was clearly Sasquatch
>>
>>19579503
First time farting? Don't worry, it's usually stinky but harmless.
>>
>>19579694
Dude. It wasn't a fart ffs. I'd know if it was a fart. I've never had anything like this at all.
>>
>>19573052
>top tier b8
>>
>>19579503
Holy shit. I had something just like this the other night!

I didn't even think it could have been paranormal. This has got me thinking though. Any more info on this?
>>
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>>19567802
>doesn't throw ring in volcano like the old wizard told him to
>surprised when a Nazgûl shows up in his bedroom
>mfw
>>
>>19579503
>>19579832
You literally got scared by your own fart while you were shitting.
>>
>>19577385
Mother and son schizophrenia??
>>
>>19578404
This one really got to me.
>>
>>19579503

>wake up
>fart builds up inside of me
>extremely tired because just woke up
>maybe a bit drunk
>fart the nastiest fart I ever produced
>sounds awesome inside that bowl
>smells like the essence of a corpse itself
>stench wakes me up completely
>even the animals are scared from the sound I just made
>confused what's happening
>scared as fuck

holy shit anon that was a lousy greentext but I had to laugh so ty for that!
>>
>>19575042
Super interesting. Thanks for posting this.
>>
>>19577660
fuck that. remember what happened to the last guy to marry that she-devil?
>>
>>19579503
I too grew up in a remote place, shit happens during the night.
I remember one time when i was out looking at the stars in the middle of the night and suddenly this death shriek from an animal echo'd between the mountains. My heart stopped and my blood was like ice. Also hearing all kinds of insane and awful stories as a kid, about lake monsters, forest monsters and god knows what, did not help. I have no idea what kind of animal made that sound, but god damn it was awful, still haunts me today (20 years later).
I have never ever been that terrified, and i have tango'd with bears and moose most of my life.
(Meaning been very close to them, like couple of feet).
>>
>>19576022
You dream literally every time you sleep, but as you get older you are orders of magnitude less likely to remember your dreams because your brain better recognizes they aren't real and filters them out.

First thing when you wake up in the morning, before you do anything, even move, ask yourself "what was I just dreaming about?" and think hard. I promise you that nine times out of ten you'll be able to recall a dream from that night that you would otherwise have forgotten forever.

A large chunk of Déjà vu experiences are probably dreams that were extremely similar to present experiences but were subsequently forgotten.
>>
>Be me
>Just now
>Currently reading through this >>19567805
>At the Skinwalker story
>Appleseeds just shown up and caught the branch
>Tin olive oil can in kitchen pops, something it does every now and again
>Promptly shit myself
>>
>>19569150
yeah well that was clearly your first time hallucinating/dreaming during sleep paralysis
>>
>>19572831
Wow
>>
>>19580069
If that was the case it would have been my dad and me that saw it since there is history of schizophrenia on my dads side of the family.
>>
>>19580125
STFU. I know what a fart sounds like. This was something else.

The feeling of dread I got that night was something else. Like someone walking over my grave. I know what I experienced.
>>
>>19570441
So they did shrooms in the woods and possibly killed the owner of a home they broke into. Neat.
>>
>>19575306
I came here to get spooked,not to laugh lmao
>>
>>19572373
ye keep it going,thank you for that btw
>>
>>19575218
>>19575222
this OP had some nice digits.

also, Czech'd
>>
>>19567758
>be me
>wake up unexpectedly. Must have been 3ish
>can't move
>heart is thumping
>really pounding hard like being hit with a hammer.
>feel something watching me
>finally I can move again
>heart rate goes down
>lie trembling around maybe an hour more before putting the lights on

Not as bad as the rest here but this really shook me up
>>
>>19581765
Maybe you really needed to fart?
>>
>>19580359
Where do you live? Could have been a Shriek owl. First time I heard one scared me shitless.
>>
UGH, DISGUSTED!
>>
>>19579503
Your sphincter was open, expecting fecal matter, and you fart. Instead of the *braaap* sound you get when air rushes between your buttocks you heard the noises of your intestinal tract.
>>
>>19572820
Are you an Afghan?
>>
>>19568527
You found the door to december, anon. Grats on your astral projection. Now you just need to control it
>>
>>19569137

I'm guessing the dog barking is what woke anon up, but only partially and that is what caused his paralysis.
>>
>>19581784
Nah. My heart rate didn't feel fast. Just abnormally strong. I could have pissed myself no doubt but I guess the bladder was empty.
>>
>>19572266
Quite cool read.
>>
>>19573298
I pray that's real
>>
>>19581869
Holy fuck. Honestly is this a shill? For the last time I know what a fart sounds like. This was something different. Something...eerie. Forboding.

And how do you explain the feeling of dread?
>>
>>19579503
Be me, the good mommy.
Have movie night every Friday night with 3 young kids.
All of us snuggled under the same comforter on the couch watching the Predator.
Pause the movie half way, cuz tradition to get up and move around after and hour or so.
Flip the comforter back.
Kids scream!
Kids run, gasping for air, to the farthest corners of the house.
One runs all the way out the back door.
Be good mommy dying of laughter on the couch.
>>
>>19578549
Expecto Patronum, you cunt
>>
>>19582072
Similar experience? Sounds creepy...
>>
>>19582042
Simple, you're an idiot. Unless you want to believe in some Fart ghost.
>>
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>>19567758
i have two twin sisters, 5 years younger than me. Up untill they were 4 or 5 years old, they would do some really wierd shit and freak my mum and myself out.
We have different fathers, theirs is from Togo in west Africa. Their grandmother is a sort of village witch/voodoo/wise woman thing. She predicted twin girls and their birthday a year before my mum even got pregnant, because "a snake had told her so".

Anyway
>sisters are about 1 year old
>I am 6
>they have a one of those little toddler cages so they don't fuck around everywhere
>They have been quiet for a while
>Mum asks me to check on them, see if they are sleeping
>On one side of their babyprison all the wooden bars have been snapped off
>There are wooden splinters everywhere around them, like the bars were completely shattered.
>mfw
>They see me and laugh, not in a creepy way just a happy baby way.
>Call my mum saying they are being wierd again
>We stare at the broken cage
>mum doesn't say anything, she goes to pick them up and puts them in front of the tv with one of their shows on
>Cleans up wooden destruction and goes back to cooking
I am 30 now and they are 25. They don't remember ever being wierd or doing/saying wierd shit, and everytime I tell them about it, they laugh and think I'm joking.
Twins are fucking creepy, and half african witch decendent twins even more so
>>
Does anybody have the full story about the guy that rented a cabin in the woods with his friends (might not be in the woods exactly) and got some weird photos of what appears to be a pig headed man in the driveway. The guy was an aspiring photographer IIRC.
>>
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>>19579503
>literally farts himself into a trauma
You are beautiful anon, never change
>>
>>19582085
IT WASN'T A FUCKING FART. Why are you so desperate to cover this up?
>>
>>19582251
STFU
>>
>Germany around 2012
>there was a lunar eclipse
>a buddy and i decided to game at his place until the eclipse (his town had more open fields)
>eclipse about to happen
>drive to a place in town where you enter the fields
>roads are empty, not a single car, not even behind me
>make the turn
>suddenly a car pops up in my rear mirror
>freak out, it wasn't there's a second ago
>drive on the field, car follows
>think maybe it's the police and I'm trespassing
>stop my car
>the other car passes, civil car, one guy in it
>panic
>parks in front of us
>I already put in reverse and wait
>dude gets out and to his trunk
>pulls out a shovel
>my buddy fucking gasps at this point and says floor it
>I'm petrified and watch this guy go into the dark field with just a shovel
>snap out of it and reverse the shit outa there
Rugia is fucking spookfest
Also let it be said, there wasn't anything growing on the field that season. It was empty.
>>
>>19572266
this one was pretty cool. a fun, creepy fact about Vietnam - did you know that the American military made a tape that they played during combat to destabilize the Vietnamese troops? it was called Operation Wandering Soul - from wiki - "U.S. engineers spent weeks recording eerie sounds and altered voices – which pretended to be killed Vietcong – for use in the operation, with the intended purpose of instilling a sense of turmoil within the enemy, the desired result being for the soldier to flee his position. Helicopters were sometimes employed to broadcast recordings,[2] in which the voices called on their "descendants" in the Vietcong to defect and cease fighting."

you can listen to some of it on youtube. it's pretty disturbing.
>>
>>19567758
Hey niggos, I got a story to share. It's not really scary but pretty neat on how it plays out.

So as a background setting let me put this: I like paranormal stuff but i don't believe in that kind of stuff. When I read people wanting to make tulpas and shit on here, it cracks me up, but i like the concept of paranormal. I live in Paris, and i've been reading about Jung's theories recently for studies, and I liked his stuff about "synchronicity", calling it bullshit. Then this interresting string of events happened:

>So last week, I visited the Orsay museum with my mom.
>She's into painting and really wants to see Monet's works so well, here I go with her.

So after the visit, she's feeling like she knows the guy by heart, telling me how she's able to recognize his style from afar.

>Back in the bus, we sat next to an old lady reading a magazine, my mom looks at the pictures and tells me it's a monet painting, then she asks the lady about the article: it's about a museum about monet.


>Few days later, I'm at home, completely forgot about that museum, until my mom posts photos of the Orsay museum we visited earlier. >Jokingly, I tell her that next time, i'll bring her to that other Monet museum on facebook.
>Minutes later, I see a post on facebook made by one of my old teachers (yeah, I friended some of my old teachers on facebook. Fuck you): he went to that exact museum with his family.
>I didn't have to do the research, some sort of universal force told me it was that museum.

>The next day, visiting my mom at her place, I tell her jokingly how I read about synchronicity and that some sort of thing is happening to me about that museum about Monet.
>On the VERY FUCKING MOMENT I tell her that: A report on TV talks about the fucking museum.
So yeah, next week, i'm bringing my mom to the giverny museum, because, apparently, the universe wants me there.

It's just too fucking convenient man. Not spooky, but fucking convenient.
>>
>>19569577
Were niggers very common in the UK at the time?
>>
>>19582438
What I gather is Paris has a nonstop raging Monet boner.
>>
>>19582268

Don't worry anon. It's obvious what you experienced wasn't a fart.

Ignore the soulless government shills trying to cover up paranormal activity.
>>
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>no one's posted autism skinwalker
rly guys?
>>
>>19582630

Oh yeah and on paranormal subject: my mom keeps a "diary of predictions" written from a deceased medium friend of hers. I read into it, and apart from the fact that the years are wrong, everything written has happened to her.
Worst of it is that I used to think it's bullshit, but it predicted some personal stuff I experienced, and the notes where written before i were born.

The book, written in the 80s predicted my uncle's death with an accuracy of two years: the book said he was going to die from a cancer in 2014, he died last year.

I still don't believe that medium bullshit, but I can't find any reasonable explanation on having the names of some of my past girlfriends written in a notebook from the 80s. fuck that.
>>
>>19568001
Theres another one very similar but I dont have it
>>
Really don't post much. I also wouldn't call this story paranormal but it's definately the most scared I've ever been in my life.
>me and gf 18 and 17 respectively
>we would leave in my car to take her home early and stop on the next road over from hers
>road was a long and dark. Fields on each side with a single abandoned house halfway down it, and another inhabited one at the end on the left.
>we turn around at the end and park in the empty side between the two houses, probably 60-70 meters of road on either side.
>start doing teenage couple things like normal, my dumbass leaves the battery on for music and air
>we finish close to the time she is expected home. Go to start car
>its as dead as im going to be when i bring her home late to her exmilitary/very strict father.
>my senpai lives like 30 mins away so there isnt time to hit up a favor
>i suggest we walk her home so that she isnt super late and I'll figure out my car on my own
>ms chronic anxiety is not about to walk near the abandoned/crack house in the dark.
>decide im in southern us and im a respectable looking white man so friendly neighbor might give us a jump
>we walk up the road to the house at the end

Cont.
>>
>>19582251
I love how you've summed it up. Makes the story thrice as funny.
>>
>>19582833
Part 2
>the house is down a kinda long lot FILLED with junk cars and parts
>already spooked to hell
>get to the front porch and can see the tv on in the living room
>nice someone is awake
>inner door is open and i knock on the glass outer one
>old man looks half awake on the couch but doesnt respond even though im well within his sight
>dumby me opens the glass door and pokes head in
>"hey, sorry to bother, my car broke down up the road and i could really use a jump"
>he keeps staggering up like he is trying to get up off the couch. This mfer is at least 75
>"sir can i help you? I really need a jump, can i come in if you need help?"
>between his murmering i can make out that his son is upstairs named joey. And joey can jump my car i just have to go upstair and wake him.
>"so youre wanting me to enter your home right? I dont want to intrude"
>he tells me its alright and joey is upstairs. He points to the stairwell in the room behind him. All while still kinda rocking in place on the couch, like i said like he keeps trying to get up but keeps failing.
>gf says what i want to say. She aint going in there. Me fearing her dad still more than all this decides to go and find this Joey guy. I tell her to wait on the porch
>i go in and up the stairs, the old guy kinda resettled into the couch.
>whole (house) upstairs is dark af. Its one hallway that has 4 doors, two on left, one on right, and one at the end.
>>
>>19582924
Final part i hit char limit in two

>i try the first door on the left, bathroom
>second door, appears to be a storage room, lots of old people junk (boxes and clothes and furniture)
>try the right door, its a bedroom but the bed is empty and made, more than likely a guest room
>start thinking about all the things i could have been baited into by this old man. My mind is racing and im ready to find this Joey guy.
>its gotta be this door on the end then
>open door and see a bedroom with made bed and more random storage stuff everywhere
>wtf theres no one in here
>look on the bed to see some sort of uniform, looked a little like navy but i dont really know, layed out neatly on the bed. Trousers, shirt, hat, and gloves
>oh shit this old guy is gonna kill me
>i close the door practically rattling
>creep back down the hallway towards the stairs and down them
>checking all my corners for old dude with a shotty, just like csgo taught me
>hes still on the couch oh thank lord
>i open my mouth maybe trying to get anything else outta him
>before i even speak three big doggos run out of the kitchen and start barking like mad
>i was really scared of dogs as a kid so this definately starts me
>i just yell thanks again and run out the door and tell uneasy gf lets gtfo
>one doggo follows us out the front door and all the way to our car
>it stops about 10 feet from the car, gf and i are a few ahead of it
>dog barks a lot then turns and runs back home
>we give in, its about half an hour late at this point so we call her parents one road over to come get us

Not super paranormal or even interesting but it gives me the creeps everytime i think about that uniform
>>
>>19577580
sleep paralysis.it's pretty common actually. I've had the same kind of shit happening for years: waking up during the night paralysed, seeing shit that's not here, like shadow persons, hearing stuff like people yelling, crying and shit. It's pretty terrifying, but it's all in the head, man. Nothing else.
>>
>>19582929
I live in the middle of nowhere Texas, and still have cell service. Was this before cell phones?
>>
>>19583226
the only people I could really contact ask for help lived too far away, my gf lived a town or so over. The whole reason I did any of this was trying to get her home before her parents noticed shit was up
>>
>>19568908
That's not true, when I was a baby I tipped my walker somehow and I cut my gum I remember seeing he blood. I told my mum about this memory and she remembers it happened but she doesn't know how I remembered because she reckons I must of been younger than 2
>>
>>19583251
I'm pretty sure when you walked home, they would've figured something out... or arrived in another car without your car.
>>
>>19583324
her house was next door with scary father
my house was a half hour drive away
i know no one even close to where she lived
>>
>>19572454
The smell was the pepper grenades, which have a metallic residual scent sometimes. And the black stuff was probably blood. It's darker than everyone assumes it is, especially when congealed.
>>
>>19582663
It was a fart, and anyone who suggests otherwise is a communist, and likely a threat to our democracy.
>>
>>19567820
He threw the rifle before there was anything to worry about. Reading comprehension, get some.

>>19574154
Same with you, he said his grandpa was in Florida, not the cabin.
>>
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Not really scary or mystical or anything, but I've read other stories on here talking about this, and it's sort of an unspoken rule in certain parts of the Army. Ask engineers/MPs/chemical guys and they'll probably know about this stuff. It's just something that happens sometimes.

>be me
>19, stupid kid, enlisted after a few months of failing college courses because i realized i had no self-discipline
>joined up as MP and went to basic in the fucking winter because i was a dumbass
>we're out on our last FTX, way the fuck out in the woods for the longest week ever
>it's -15 at night, we're all freezing to death, life sucks, etc
>our PG comes around to check on everyone periodically, we're all bored because the other platoons are too cold to attack us and the drill sergeants are too cold to play fuck fuck games
>i'm sitting there with my battle buddy, we're on the most isolated corner of the perimeter which only existed because we picked a bad spot to set up in
>it's like twenty meters to the next guys on one side, and there's a little hill so we can't even see the next people to the left of us
>i go to sleep for a little, my buddy says he can stay awake by himself
>next thing i know PG is kicking the shit out of my boot, there's like ten people running off into the woods in my sector of fire
>apparently someone went off to shit, didn't have a battle buddy with them, and after they didn't come back for like 30 minutes the PG found out
>at this point the pretend exercise shit has been abandoned and everyone's gearing up to go look for this guy
>my buddy keeps insisting the guy didn't go out past the perimeter here, we had a good view from our little foxhole and he was awake the whole time
>eventually the whole company is looking for this missing private
>it's still cold as fuck and i start to get hypothermic
>DS yells at me and tells me and another couple guys to go back to the fire barrels at the TOC
>we're sitting around warming up when suddenly a 5 ton pulls up
>>
>>19583546
I assume there's a part 2?
>>
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>>19583546
continued

>engineer markings all over the 5 ton
>some guys get out, they look like real engineers and not TRADOC faggots or drill sergeants
>"hey we found this guy"
>they bring out the missing private
>apparently he was found completely naked, covered in bites and cuts, TEN MILES AWAY on a bomb range
>he just fucking wandered up to them and mumbled some shit and collapsed
>they never found his uniform or any of his gear, luckily he left his rifle behind
>somehow he's ok though, frostbite isn't severe and the bites/cuts are superficial
>i didn't get to see them myself, he went straight to the hospital but they sent him back out to the field a day before the FTX ended
>talk to him later in the barracks, he explains that he was attacked by "a deer on its back legs" that was saying things to him in English, and he doesn't remember how he got that far away
>graduate OSUT, go to my duty station, never see him again

My story's sort of vague, since I didn't see much of it go down, but there's other greentexts about this sort of thing happening at Fort Leonard Wood. It's about 3 hours drive from the nearest city/large town, and it's just fucking unexplored weird shit, the land nav courses feel spooky like you're being watched. I will never go back out into the Missouri woods if I can help it.
>>
>>19583633
Weird shit like this happens all the time out in this neck of the woods. Always wondered exactly what the fuck the spooks are but they're smart enough not to fuck with unbridled firepower and non-givance of fucks. It's like they know if they can fuck with someone they bother them but if it means certain harm they stay away.
>>
>>19583633
That's pretty creepy even if you didn't see it first hand.
>>
>>19583714
I saw it first-hand and it wasn't that scary.
>>
>>19583811
Original MP poster here, explain?
>>
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>>19583829
He was a section-8.
>>
>>19583904
What? If you've got a FLW story, share the whole thing, man. The guy in my company (A701) wasn't chaptered after his little run-in with the "spooks", as the other poster called them.
>>
>>19583400
Evidence that it was a fart?
>>
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>>19579503
>fart
>get scared
>start yelling and running around with a shotgun

Guys I figured out why no one takes us seriously
>>
>>19567758
Lived across from a graveyard for a year once. Some pretty weird stuff went on all the time.
It was a 3 bedroom house with one bathroom. My daughter, her boyfriend at the time, my grandson, and another guy that was renting the 3rd room from us. It had a fireplace.
>One day, while in the kitchen & hear a thump.
>Go to living room & see that some of the wood stacked on the hearth had fallen off.
>Not the whole stack. Just 2 pieces that had been at the back of the stack.
This happened on several occasions.

>Another day, vacuuming in the living room.
>Get an eerie feeling. Stop vacuuming and look around.
>Looks at the fireplace & the single large log that was sitting there.
>The log floats off the edge of the hearth and thumps on the floor. It didn't roll.

>Another day, have walking sticks standing in a corner by the back door in the laundry room.
>Here a commotion in the laundry room.
>Walk in to see the stick that was in the very middle lying on the floor 3 feet away.
This also happened more than once.

>Another day, out back playing with grandson.
>See a very furry dog with long black hair bouncing across the little thicket from neighbors direction.
>Thought someones dog had gotten loose.
>Take grandson up to the steps of the backdoor, because strange dog.
>Watch the dog jump & play like it's chasing a ball or something.
>3 minutes dog is just jumping and playing and running around.
>I call out to it, it never hears me.
>The dog bounds over into the other neighbors yard, spots something else and runs back into our little thicket.
>Dog jumps like it's going to pounce on something, lands behind a tree.
>Dog never emerges again.
>>
>>19571932
>Be living in backwoods of south carolina
The one time someone on 4chan lives near me, and it's this shit
>>
>>19584085
What would you have done given the circumstances?
>>
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>>19584140
...gone back to sleep? I've had almost that exact thing happen to me, and I literally just went back to bed. It's not weird or creepy at all.
>>
>>19584109
>Another day. Renter dude is going out the front door. 3 feet away from the front door, it suddenly opens all by it's self.
>He stops. My daughter & I witness a figure of a man that seemed to walk right through renter dude & out the front door.
>Renter dude never saw the figure, but turned to us and asked if we saw the front door open.

>Would occasionally get small flocks of crows that showed up at strange times of the year for our area.
>Crows would walk right up to me, within inches of my feet & stair at me.

>Saw old lady wearing a white dress belted at the waist walking through the graveyard.
>She was walking away from me, so her backside was facing me.
>Looked away for a few seconds.
>Looked back, little old lady was gone.

>In bedroom alone in the house.
>Hear someone walking around in the living room.
>Go out to check, no one is there.
Happened all the time.
>>
>>19583946
It's not some kind of crazy shit so I don't know what that dude is on about.

I had a run in with one of these not long ago when I moved back out to the country. Not gonna greentext it because it was short and uneventful but I guess I can at least tell you what I saw. My friend and I were drinking whisky on my deck which faces plots of alfalfa/corn/soy and I was dozing off. I noticed something slinking around through the fields and figured it was probably some dumbass farm subsidy kids on summer break out there spooping themselves in the fields like a lot of kids did when I was young. I've made it a habit to keep myself strapped as a precaution to deal with the riff raff that comes through the highways headed towards Chicago and the Tri-State area because even though I'm in a rural area every now and then someone starts some shit and fuck becoming a statistic myself. So I watch this thing fumble around until it gets to the side of my gardening shed which is over 8 foot tall and this thing must have been close to a foot shorter than it when it pushed itself upright. Whatever it was it was fairly dark colored and the moon was out bright but I couldn't make out what it was from maybe ~70 foot away so it was VERY dark colored. I kinda WTF'd and sat up in my chair and it turned back around the corner of the shed and looked almost like it waved at me by sticking it's arm up in the air. By this point I'd racked a round in my pistol and stood the fuck up then started going out towards it while hollering asking who the fuck was dumb enough to try and get in my shit while I'm watching. It turned immediately around and ran back through the alfalfa into the other fields and was gone in maybe 15 seconds or less.

After that I don't stay out there past midnight when we're having some drinks. It's safer to be closer to the heavier firepower with barriers between it and us. The spook obviously didn't want trouble for whatever reason. Fuck it.
>>
>>19584168
BS. You weren't there. This is just tough internet talk. I know what I experienced that night.

It was something not of this world.
>>
>>19584202
Those weirdo Indian fart fetish guys would get off on your otherworldly fart story.
>>
>>19572465
This shit gets me, stuff that's not even paranormal but terrifying as shit
>>
>>19584214
Shill harder mate. Think people's reaction to my story is pretty telling.

How many other stories in here could be palmed off as "just a fart"? It's bullshit.
>>
>>19584180
Blah stare, not stair. poopy auto correct.

Remembered some more.
>Walked into the kitchen & all the upper cabinet doors were standing wide open.
>Thought renter dude had done it.
>Confronted him about it, he swears it wasn't him.
>Few days latter, alone in the house again.
>Hear movement sounds in kitchen.
>ALL the kitchen cabinet doors were standing open.
That's the only two times that happened.

That's all I can think of for now. Nothing horrible. Heard voices sometimes, could never understand what they were saying & a little girl giggling once. Grandson was terrified of the bathroom.
>>
>>19584235
I'm not even the same guy you goober. I gave you the honest truth.
>>
>>19584235
>People's reaction to my story is pretty telling

Oh, you mean how everybody is saying you farted yourself into frantic frenzy?
>>
>>19584306
IT WASN'T A FUCKING FART
>>
>>19582438
Sometimes I'm reading a book and the exact moment I read a word, someone says it in conversation within hearing range.
It's fucking weird, and has happened dozens of times.
>>
>>19584309
I'm sorry we've been getting it wrong this entire time, I see now the error that's been made and why you're upset. You sharted and forgot to wipe in your manic panic. I'd be pissed if my shorts stuck to my ass, too.
>>
>>19584319
It also was not a shart. There was no poop. Zero evidence to support that claim.
>>
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>>19584335
Ah, so it was indeed a fart.
>>
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>>19584309
>>
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>>19584309
fucking kek'd
>>
>>19584345
>>19584367
>>19584375

Go fuck yourselves really. You can't tell the difference between the paranormal and a fart
>>
>>19584389
Your butthole must be haunted by the cries of digested animals. They just want to escape it all.
>>
Anyone got the one posted recently about the guy and his dad going camping and the Skinwalker literally gets drunk off the dads beers and gets run over the next day?
>>
Someone really needs to screencap this whole fart ghost convo. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. It needs to be immortalized.
>>
>>19584406
Nevermind found it
>Be 8 years old and going camping with my dad near Skeetrock. At least I think it was Skeetrock, it was one of the knobs that's for sure.
>Dad liked to drink and grill, sad it helped him with the flames on his knuckles.
>Decided the best way to bring a grill on a goddamn camping trip was to just strap it with some bungie cords to the back of the truck.
>Didn't even bring a tent, just the sleeping bags.
>Get done grilling, had some burgers, propped up inside the bed of the truck and got some shut eye, because apparently I was dumb enough to believe that nothing could get five feet off the ground and into the bed with us.
>Wake up in the middle of the night and hear some scratchin' comin' from the grill. Look over and there's some weird lookin' monkey cat thing with horns like a goat.
>Kinda' just stare at each other while it licks the bar-b-q sauce off the spatula.
>Then it ran off with dads cooler
>Next morning dad wakes up and thinks I took the beer, doesn't believe me about it.
>We head on home, he still had a case of booze in the truck. Driving down the road, that fucking cat monkey fucker stumbles out of some bushes, swear he was drunk.
>Dad doesn't even see him, runs him over and keeps driving.
>"Must've hit a buck."
>Fuck camping.
>>
>>19584421
You could say it's been a real "gas"
>>
>>19584404
I think it's possible a skin walker cast some sort of curse to lure me into the bathroom. I heard it and smelt it coming though and scared it off.
>>
>>19584431
>up in arms
>over a gassy fart
kek
>>
>>19584453
I think there's a lot of jealousy here over my decisive quick thinking
>>
>>19584431
It's the Ghost of Christmas' Ass. Deck the bowl with hamfarts and holly
*BRAPALAPALAP A LAPLAPLAP*
>>
>>19584235
Difference is the other stories don't reek of it just being a fart.

>stomach cramps
>Goes to bathroom
>Straining to poop
>Loud noise
>Bad stink
>No more stomach cramps

All the evidence lead as to a fart. Your dread could be the same way a dog darts itself awake.
>>
>>19567758
>Be me
>Continually have bad omen feeling and feeling of my space being invaded or being watched.
>Goes on for a year in new house.
>Not scared at all, not a lick of a feeling of fear nor even dread though... In fact the feeling is causing anger to build up inside
>One day snap and hollar out 'I will end your existence even after my own death if you don't leave.' (weird I don't even talk like that
>bad omen feeling and feeling of being watched/infringed upon gone ever since.

Normal guy here. No extra interest in paranormal besides browsing here for fun stories. No mental illness and I have a normal job, family, life etc. Nothing like it has ever happened before OR since.

What I said even tripped myself out immediately afterwards.
>>
>>19584495
Maybe it was a fart?
>>
>>19584466
f a r t
a
r
t
>>
This just happened to me...
>Be 24 canadafag
>finish work late
>Get home, take in the sights of the park across the street
>Notice a shadow swinging by a tree like a cat giant tail
>RUN
>>
>>19584543
>be giant Canadian tree cat
>sitting in tree by park watching people leave work late
>let out a fart so massive it blocks the light
>one of the wageslaves screams and runs

It was a good night, overall.
>>
>>19572357
Do you have more of counselor bro's stories?
>>
>>19584564
>be giant fart
>let out a Canadian tree cat
>so THICC block out the light and scare everyone
>nobody understands me

Why does does senpai get scared when he notices me?
>>
>>19584500
lol. Not in that case for me. It tripped me out pretty badly.

Speaking of that though I HAVE nearly went to the emergency room before with a feeling of dread or "imminent doom" (telltale sign of serious medical problem) coupled with extreme abdominal pain but before we got to the car to go sure enough... Brrraaap. It genuinely was a fart. Felt silly but never had such intense gas pain in my life.
>>
>>19584512
Even if it was a fart. It DOES not rule out that the gas was of supernatural origin. Perhaps some form of ancient indian blood curse.

100% sure it wasn't a fart though. The noise sounded like someone screaming in pain through liquid.
>>
>>19584613

finally a relatable story!
>>
>>19584633
Mate, eat better and man the fuck up.
>>
>>19582438
As a psych student and someone who has particular interest in these kind of phenomenon, I can tell you that its just a sort of confirmation bias - our minds like to pick out nice little recurring patterns out of purely random coincidences and assign artificial meaning to them
>>
Do you think a crossbow could kill a Goatman?

I really want to go out and find one
>>
>>19584683
i know that but I found it neat man.
>>
>>19584664
My diet is perfect. Further debunking the far theory.
>>
>>19584495
>Not scared at all, not a lick of a feeling of fear nor even dread though... In fact the feeling is causing anger to build up inside
>One day snap and hollar out 'I will end your existence even after my own death if you don't leave.' (weird I don't even talk like that
When the chips are down, you are one nasty motherfucker no one ought to fuck with. I don't care if
>No mental illness and I have a normal job, family, life etc.
You have one fuck of an aggressive fight or flight response.
>>
>>19567802
Sleep paralysis my dude
>>
>>19582438
I feel you man, in a minor way I've experimented what you describe here.
>>
>>19584694
Nope. .50 at least.
>>
>>19585077
Or 40mm Bofors.
>>
So this is what BRAAP-posting /x/-style looks like
>>
>>19585077
i'll fuckin prove you wrong m80
>>
>>19572454
Did this guy run into real life skin walker hunters? Thats fuckin awesome!
>>
I didn't know if I should post this or not but seeing as how similar things have happened to others I'll do it

>working night shift at servo on road that heads out to highway
>nothing much happens at this time since people rarely leave the city late at night
>at exactly midnight a man with a hoodie and long pants comes in
>can't see any details on his face
>hello sir can i help you
>no response, he just walks straight to the toilets
>a few minutes later hear the howl of a thousand souls coming from the toilets
>it lasts at least 10 seconds, makes the cash machine vibrate
>man leaves, doesn't talk or buy anything just walks out as fast as he can
>grab gun and check toilets, nothing there

No idea what happened guys
>>
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>>19584421
Put me in the screencap, holy shit I'm dying.
>>
>>19579503

>The night is full of dread
>I awaken from my bed
>I sit to take a poop
>I hear a little toot
>The room is filled with miasma
>And my booty had a blasta
>I investigate where all this started
>Then i realized i only farted.
>>
>>19585445
Possibly just a really big fart. Most of these stories can be explained as just really bad gas.
>>
>>19581860
Might be a bit late, i grew up in the northern wilderness of Sweden, at a "skogshemman". So i know my way in the woods and all the animals who live there. This sound was just beyond fucked, sounded kinda like the sound a pig makes when you are about to slaughter them. (No boars this far north). My grandmother said it was probably a young moose getting pwnd by a wolf or a bear. Fuck, nature can be scary.

Getting stalked by animals when the sun sets (autumn) can be nerve wracking too, at least until you know what is stalking you. (usually reindeers)
>>
>be reading this thread the last few days
>get spooked by a few stories but everything's fine
>sit in my room browsing and listening to the killers
>just now hear the LOUDEST bang somewhere in front of me
>made me jump
>can find no evidence of what cause it
>get spooked again
>>
Does anyone have the story about the boy that goes to visit his father in the middle of nowhere, weird shit starts happening, and a few years later when he goes to visit again finds out his dad turned the house into a fucking fortress. I only vaguely remember reading it, think it was some black monster type things coming out of the woods and when the guy comes to visit again dad's killing them by the dozens.
>>
>>19584421
Put me in the cap
>>
>>19579503
>I was taking a shit and my fart scared me. Must be ghosts

Welcome to /x/
>>
>>19584309
this needs to be a banner
>>
>>19585945
That was a neat one
>>
>>19572562
10/10 quality post congrats
>>
>>19584421
hell yeah. I'm already laughing so hard!
>>
>>19585892
so you farted.....
>>
>>19573739
>>19570069
I'm so confused by this shit. What the fuck is the bear?
>>
>>19586382
The second part made no sense to me
The first part, the bear was clearly just a funny sight gag where he personified the bear's judgment in his mind
>>
>>19569577
Probably a muzzie
>>
Friendo showed me this here board. Great entertainment when drinking. I got one story to, but don't know how to do the whole greentext thing, so I'll write it simple like. Here goes:

About five years back, friend of mine (well more of a co-drinker, really) invited me on a camping/fishing trip to a cabin he and his gaggle of co-workers rented out. I only know one part of fishing, which is copious imbibment of alcohol, but I figured I'll cover that part while buddy and his coworkers do the other thing. He picked me up in his SUV with his girlfriend, coworker and coworkers girlfriend. Now, I know what yer thinking, going fishing with ladies? Yeah, weird enough.
Anywayski, went to this lake cabin and there even more work-bois of his and they brought girls too. Felt like a proper fag at that point. Disappointed too. They only brought some pissy lagger and fancy brandy (which is like regular brandy, but overpriced) which I loathe as it gives me the shakes. Figured I'd just get wasted fast and crash somewhere so I wouldn't have to watch four pairs of lovebirds talking lame shit. I worked at a pub at that time and had to see way too much of it. Now, as they're hauling their shit to the cabin, I figure I'll get a fire going, so I head for buddies SUV to get the sack of dry firewood we picked up at a statoil on the way. I grab the damn thing and I get that shit sewer smell coming from fucking everywhere as I haul the sticks to the firesite. Everyone's standing around looking at eachother like they're trying to find out who farted. Decided, fuck it, start this fire fast and maybe the drag upward will blow this shit away somewhat. Dumped the sack on the fireplace, got back to the car, got a canister of gas and doused the thing. Buddy and his bois were giving me shit, but I lit it and the fire sprang up. Shit smell got better and then disappeared entirely. Fuckin' A.
TBC
>>
I don't normally post on /x/, although I believe I shared this once, a few years ago. However, I'm too lazy to greentext in an entertaining way, so I'm just going to type my experience straight.

When I was young, I used to stay often at my grandparent's. Most of my family has lived close by one another, on a couple hundred acres of land, in South Carolina. That is to say, I could stay at my grandparents often, because they lived well within walking distance away.

There had always been talk of the house being haunted. Anecdotes, mostly. Great grandpappy tucking my mother in when she was a child, after he had passed, that sort of thing. Regular stories you'd expect to hear from your grandparents. I never put much faith into them, and, really, I still consider myself a skeptic. Granted, this incident ignited an interest in the paranormal that I'm aware is at odds with my general disposition.

So when I was 10 or 11, or maybe even a little older, I remember sleeping on my grandparent's couch. My grandfather turned in late, 1am late; I normally went to sleep not long after him, because I slept in the living room and that was where he watched his old movies and the Late Night Show.

This particular night though, something definitely felt off in the hours before I went to bed. Like, the dogs, who were normally too energetic for their own good, were aloof. I remember that specifically because "Marky" didn't even bark and growl at me when I came over. That dog was one of those faggot poodles that would not shut the fuck up.

Anyway, I woke up that night with what felt like a hand pressing down on me. Back then, I didn't know what sleep paralysis was, but today I do which helps with the skepticism. Like I said though, that night I woke up to some horrendous pressure on my chest, and with my entire body being unresponsive. It wasn't pens and needles though. More like things had just stopped cooperating.
>>
>>19586608
The couch I was sleeping on was just beside the door, between a front-facing window and the front door, specifically. The latter was open. The screen door and storm door both, with the outside light still on and shining into the house. I remember a distinct lack of insect chirping. In SC, late at night, the crickets are /always/ chirping. Standing in the threshold of the door was a figure. I can't recall much of its body except that the figure was absolutely masculine, because then, and in the intervening years, and now, I always think of it as a /he/. I want to say, but admit this may be memory after the fact, that the man's body was shadowed, maybe because of the light, maybe because that's just how it was.

Again, I can't recall much on that front, but what I can 100% remember is that he had a deer's head. Like full on a deer's head, with antlers and everything. And it stood over me. I don't remember it looming exactly, or staring at me in a threatening way. Actually, what I can remember is being really confused, then, as well as after I “woke up”, as in regained control of myself.

The confusion was, and still is odd to me. I'm not even sure of the right way to phrase it. For a couple of years I thought I was a deer dreaming of being a human. I know exactly how fucking weird that sounds, and, no, I'm not, nor have I ever been, a furry. There was just this lingering doubt back then. I still don't think the explanation just then does the confusion justice, either. I don't really posses the words to describe it. Just the strongest disconnection with who I was, almost to the same degree that I imagine someone suffering gender dysphoria might feel, except there was no shame or wrongness to the experience, just confusion.
>>
>>19586612
I never did stay at my grandparents again, at least not until recently, when Hurricane Irma was supposed to hit. My grandparents home is the best suited to weather a storm, so most of my family went there; and no, I didn't have another experience. What happened instead was that my youngest cousin went through a night terror, not just once but an episode every night while staying. Her mother told me earlier this morning that there was none last night, after they went him; I haven't spoken to anyone else about my experience, and I'm almost afraid to ask her what it was she had seen. Anyways, I mostly just wanted to get this off my chest, and I realize I don't have a talent for recounting things, so thank you to anyone who took the time to read this. Some of it may be off due to the decade or so that has passed since the experience, but most the gist of the experience is there.
>>
>>19586584
Continuing:

Buddy and his workmates started gearing up for their fishing trip. Not my cup of tea. I stayed drinking the beers and because I didn't want to be entirely useless, volunteered to help the ladies with prepping dinner. Fishermen walk off to prowl for frogs or whatever, I'm stuck sipping beer and spicing the meat for cookin'. Girls avoid me like I'm somekinda leper, but I couldn't give less of a fuck, so I keep massaging the meat. Dip down to smell it and as I take a lung-full of what I expected was spiced meat, I feel a rather robust smell of the sewer. At that point, I figured, that this shit ain't fuckin' pono. Smells don't just travel. Either they're there or they're not. Somekinda beastie stalkin' us. Very well. Went to check on my buddies fishing kit. Found some pretty nasty lookin' hooks. Outstanding. Took some of the meat and jammed it chock full of hooks. Put some pepper on it, even. Put the hookmeat intoa plastic bag. Decided to put the meat somewhere out of sight so the beastie could get to it easy. There was a shit shack behind the cabin so I took it there. Buddy and gang came back not soon after. Decided it was too dark to fish. Go figure. Anyway, I waited for it to come back, and just as we set up to cook the meat, it did. First the smell, then soon after - a shriek/roar. Fuckin' thing banged it's head into the cabin a few times and fucked off, trying to scream the hooks out. Near damn pissed myself laughing, while everyone was near shitting themselves. I imagine there was too much excitment for the urbanite yuppie fucks so they quickly decided to bag up and bolt. Wasn't opposed to it. Trip was shit anyways and I got blamed for it. Said: Wanna go back? I'm all good for it. Fire should still be burning. Told the guys at the bar abou it, they said we shoulda caught it and teach it to love Jesus. Pretty sure after what happened that thing don't believe in God anymore anyways.

That's about it. Cheers.
>>
>>19586615
Thank you for sharing this. You should find out for your own piece of mind what it was that your cousin experienced. Talk privately with your cousin & share stories.
>>
>>19586637
Did you ever get a look at it? or just heard it & smelled it?
>>
>>19586661
Nah. The thing bounded to parts unknown. Too damn bad. Wanted to see it run past. Yuppies woulda propershit themselves though. Would have to drive with the sewer smell all way home.
>>
>>19586661
I think we've got another fart on our hands boys...
>>
>>19586639
Maybe. It doesn't seem like her experience was the same as hers, however. Still, I'm definitely curious, so maybe I will ask her next time I speak to her.

But I probably won't. The whole thing is kind of unsettling.
>>
>>19586686
Hey, don't dilute the fart story. It was tits. Cheeks still hurt from smiling. 'Sides, if a fart could scream like that in response to eating meat and fish hooks, I'd question the diet of whoever let the fuckin' thing rip.
>>
It wasn't fucking fart you stupid normie fucks
>>
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>be me, Afghan, 2011, dumb 19-year-old PFC with a HIIDE (iris and fingerprint scanner)
>riding along with guys doing cleanup shit after SOF rolled through the night before
>have to fly in from the FOB on a Chinook because it's isolated as fuck
>get to the village, it looks like someone dropped ordinance and pretty much flattened all the buildings
>there's a corpse pile in the middle of the village
>"hey anon go get their fuckin biometrics" (you can still scan dead people and find out if they were put in the system before)
>pop menthol cough drop for the smell, go over to the bodies
>these aren't just regular taliban fucks
>at least as tall as me (i'm 6'3"), reddish-brown hair and sorta pale-ish skin
>there's Afghans with red hair but they don't get that tall or pale mostly
>I ask one of the guys there, E4 with a Black Patch, who the fuck these guys were
>he kinda looks at me sideways and tells me to do my fucking job and stop asking so many questions
>shrug
>scan them in as best as I can
>no matches
>they dig a huge hole and put the bodies into it which is not fucking normal
>at this point i start to realize something is off
>we all get back on the Chinook
>look out the window as we're leaving
>they're fucking burning all the corpses
>wtf
>get back to the FOB, go to the BATS building to upload my scans
>a Major i've never seen before with a generic Special Operations Command patch is there
>"we're doing software updates on all your devices, i'll take that"
>try to explain that it's got data on it that needs uploading
>"oh i'll have my people upload it"
>get reassigned to a different detachment three days later
>never talk about this to anyone
>suppress the memory
>get off active duty
>miss the life, sort of
>re-enlist in the Reserves
>become prison guard because bonus
>deploy to GTMO
>shit internet
>only thing that loads reliably is 4chan
>go on /x/
>reminded of this
>don't write greentext at the time
>2017, see this thread
>remember again
>write this
>>
>>19586742
Hey, I heard about these folk. Apparently there are some fairskinned redhead tribe of afghan folk that are badass fighters. There was a journalist that did a trip in afghania way back when, wrote about 'em. I'll try to hunt it down.
>>
>>19573298
autismus maximus
>>
>>19574117
im not much one for trolling but this was some 10/10 shit right here
>>
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>me
>reading thread
>about 5 stories in
>really dark in my room
>door closed
>TV off
>Look for remote,usually on my table
>Not there
>what.jpg
>Look around
>A single glass sitting on my bed
>I didnt move it there
>Bolt the fuck outta there
>Go back into room prepared to fight somebody
>Glass is on table,remote is on the floor
>batteries out
>As if somebody put it there
>nope.mp4
>put everything back in place
>sit down
>write this
What the fuck just happened?
>>
>>19586840
You should drink more. Blackouts are a wonderful thing, bud.
>>
>>19586840
Possible fart
>>
>>19586852
Considering I drink about 3 litres of water per day,I'd rule that out
>>
>>19586872
Pal, allow me to outline why I don't regard sobriety as a trustworthy state of mind. The human mind got a great big hardon for fuckin' itself over. Explaining shit to itself (spot the fault here, by all means, endeavor to, at least) when it fails to comprehend something, instead of bein' still and focusing on reading new info. Ever met a drunkard who's untrue, coy or indirect? There ya have it.
>>
>>19586872
Do you have enough fiber in your diet?
>>
>>19568742
Bump
>>
>>19586926
Man drinks fuckin' water, man. Regards it worth proclaiming it public like. Fucks sake, no surprise this place is fulla folk that jump at their own farts.
>>
>>19586945
Some farts can be pretty daunting
>>
>>19586959
Yeah, right, chinese new years right outta the ass. Come the fuck on...
>>
>>19586733
>dazed by a fart
>so out of it, seeing things

methane so intense causes seeing things maybe even a cloud of farts
>>
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>>19584633
>Even if it was a fart. It DOES not rule out that the gas was of supernatural origin. Perhaps some form of ancient indian blood curse.
Pls screencap this
>>
>>19586989

I'll fucking record it if it happens again you fucks.

Not that it will since my decisive quick thinking probably scared the hell out of it. If any of you fucks ever come up against a demon you're screwed.
>>
>>19587045
Listen, been cursed by a gyspy repeatedly. Ain't fuckin' scared of no demons or curses. It'd be more than happy to invite any demon to have run-through in my bones, see how we men-o-god livin'. Bet you a bottle of rum, demon would be more than glad to bolt back to wherever it came from after a day of observing the viciousness of the rat race.
>>
Please record you farting on the toilet and post it on /x/

Please

I don't even have an image that captures my joy at this thread
>>
>>19587045
so you're going to record a fart?
>>
pls someone screen cap everything that relates to mr. fart man
>>
>>19587103
NO. I'm going to record a demon.

THERE IS NO FUCKING EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THE FART THEORY.
>>
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>>19587126
>if the demon is a large fart cloud
>>
This fart caper is gaining a shit-ton of momentum. Let's see where this gets us...
>>
>tfw enjoying an /x/ thread for once, people posting good stories and hoping for more
>thread gets fucking derailed by a fart
>>
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>>19585512
>>
I agree that the fart demon story was funny, but hanging onto it is dumb as shit. Anyone else got something? Come on. Could be bullshit by this point. Wanna let a fart take this thread?
>>
>>19587213

IT'S NOT FUCKING BULLSHIT IT WAS REAL
>>
>>19587270
That's enough
>>
>>19587270
poo-a-loo! back to you too!
>>
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I used to live at this old house it was built a long ass time ago and that shit was haunted

>be me around 3 or 4
>attic area was my room right by moms room
>had a shitty TV, bed, a huge mickey mouse plush, and a small window in the back
>wake up around midnight been hearing noises
>look to my right see my my huge mickey mouse plush
>motherfucker starts turning his head
>fucking scream and run to mommy
>tell mom everything
>she says it was just a bad dream and tells me to go to bed
>fuckthat.png
>sleep with mom
Next night
>cant sleep
>look around
>see a shadowy figure just staring in the window
>think its just trees
>remember there are no trees by that window
>freak the fuck out
>tell mom again, sleep in her room, etc
3 days later
>still see the figure in the window
>call him the man in the window
>mom tells aunt about
>aunt brings cross
>go to sleep that night see the man in the window
>go to sleep
>wake up cross on ground snapped in half
>no way it fell and broke that thing was made out of fucking stone
>tell mom
>sleep with brothers from then on
>move
>havent been able to sleep since

Pic related, it was the closest thing i could find to that huge mickey plush, also i know this all sounds fake but this shit actually happened if no one believes me ill post a pic of the old house and the cross that was snapped (my mom still has it)
>>
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>>19587045
>>19587065
Guys, I found him. We screwed up bad. He's a Hunter! A hunter of Farts.
>>
>>19569577
Spring Heeled Jack is back?
>>
>>19586382
>>19586437
It's just a nightmare of his.

He was fucking with us all along.
>>
>>19572331
>lapland.jpg
>hadn't been a bear sighting in 80 years
Thread posts: 363
Thread images: 115


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