losing my mind over the past 48 hours

>>19550915
you are healing, mate.
when something heals, it hurts.
go into it.
rid it out. heal it. write these dreams down in the present tense:
"I am in a big room. People keep staring at me. I kill someone with my bare hands. It is a dog. The dog barks."

>>19550915
also.. if you can not handle it on your own, go to some ashram. this is what i would suggest.

>>19550915
>>19552007
also...
do some arts.
painting, molding tone or clay, writing.

>>19552023
(write, delete, rewrite)

>>19550915
if you die in your dreams, it means that something in your life changes. in your case to the better. in the end.

>>19550915
you have got a "demon", of course. otherwise you would not feel sick.
You must bind and m´banish it.
Always remember:
"I"
"I am."
"I am I."

>>19550915
Also always remember:
"I am a free spiritual being."
"I live according to my ethics."
"I do not allow any god above me."
"I soley belong to me and myself alone."
"I have the right to be here, I have the right to live my life."
"I have the right to play my game."
"Woever lives on earth, creates Karma, yetI hold sole responsibility to this myself."
"We all have free will."

>>19552048
>>19552056
say these two in the mornings and evenings.
and any time you feel like it.

>>19550915
Also use the surah 114, 113 and 112.
(translate it to your belief system, if possible)

>>19550915
in order to focus consider this here:
you are not your thought and emotions.
you are.
you can get new thoughts by talking to someone, or by reading something, or by simple thinking.
you can always choose to not follow a certain thought any longer and just letting go of it. thinking something different. tuneing in into something smoother.

you are only as long hexed or cursed as long you yourself believe in this.

yoga works with the hard ware of your system.
hard ware and soft ware are inter-related.
if you change the one you change the other.

>>19550915
I just want you to know anon

Anyone who types "..." is RPing

>>19552115
you know...
i truely try to help OP here.
Just try these things for yourself, OP.
If they work: GREAT!
If not... well.. sorry. But... you can get better any way you might want.

>>19550915
Stop doing Qigong, You're actually just inviting Demons in yourself.

>>19550915
demons are bad things that go in to your mind against your wishes. like the first time you ever saw a horror movie. the pictures and sounds are recorded inside you. that's a demon. it doesn't think or tell you to do shit. that's your own brain twitching randomly like a physical spasm. cause brain is frazzled.

In dream, brain is exercising itself and organizing shit when you sleep (among other things) and all it has to work with is just that... shit.
from tv, internet, phone, people.

time alone in remote nature and without any world pics/sounds will help you.
skinny dip also

OP here with an update... After a completely unproductive morning I slept from 1-4 this afternoon, spent at least an hour just staring off into nothing allowing my mind to wander, did my Qi Gong, and I'm feeling back up to at least the 90%-95% level. Holy crap sleep deprivation is a killer.

When last I checked nobody had replied to this thread so I'm a bit surprised to see stuff here... Let's see what's going on...

>>19552007
I feel like you're right about this... NOW. But wow this morning it felt like anything but a healthy process LOL...

I did write out the dreams earlier, funny enough in present tense, purely for documentation purposes and the faint hope they would be exorcised in the process.

>>19552015
Not the worst idea I've ever heard. The area I'm from is pretty... Let's say "blue collar"... But there are other options along the same lines.

>>19552023
Ya I do a fair amount of writing, need to get back into comedy. My stuff's been way dark lately.

>>19552038
Well I did commit suicide this morning. So... yay? :)

>>19552048
>>19552056
>>19552061
This is interesting stuff and actually useful for some other work I'm doing. Is there a place not on /x/ that I can reference this stuff so I can properly bookmark it?

>>19552085
I'm a bit ambivalent about holy texts but I'll have a look.

>>19552097
Sleep and some downtime did the trick today, but I have to say... While that might address general overwhelm, I'm not sure it's quite a match for raw fatigue.

>>19552132
Yyyaaaaa.... no. Even Christians don't believe it works that way. Come on man.

>>19552244
This is a real good perspective on what we call "demons" actually. It felt like the thing to type earlier because it felt like something stuck in me, rather than a part of me... but I suspect that the truth is closer to what you're saying: that there was a part of me that I was letting go of, and in that process it became an unwelcome interloper on its way out.

>>19552007
No, don't kill; embrace.

Paying penance maybe. Demons and shit and shit trying to hold you back from developing yourself spiritually. Went through 8 nights of it.

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may be why franz bardon says it's imperative that before any training of this sort that one develop rudimentary mastery over the mind and its thought processes. you must subordinate your mind desu

>>19550915
My dreams are fun and even the dark ones are fun as shit too!