Recovering Vampire

I regained my faith after it happened. Jesus's teachings made it more than easy, Luke 10:25-28. I pray every day and I count the hardship of the condition as a blessing.

Because a cure wasn't handed to me I had to push myself to grow other ways, mostly mentally and spiritually, and even if it feels like this will be a big step backwards it doesn't matter in the big picture if your faith is straight.


Jesus said in the future we would be like the Angels in heaven. If I wasn't left by myself to find a way out of this I wouldn't have had the free glimpse into the heavenly attributes mankind is capable of.

In Revelation the Tree of Life is seen again. I get to live a happy innocent life like Adam and live in the real world too. There's a whole year I worked at a Convenience store and I can hardly remember anything, the two biggest being a blackout episode before I left, and the other was LITERALLY hearing the voice of God out of my neighbor's voice.

I would go back and forth between eating processed food with energy drinks, or eating fruit because my body required no assitance to process it. I was about to eat a golden delicious apple while one of my coworkers was helping a customer. This came after maybe 3-4 years of going in and out of a wretched state, eating food and not processing it, driving through sunlight where the entire horizon looked bleak and stale, like a living purgatory. I truly believe I had my own sins to live out and repay, and my condition was one of the punishments.

I remember that by the time I was working there I was meditating a trying to live a very full life, pushing myself to reasonable limits doing honest and hard work. Contrary to my lazy lifestyle before, trying to go above and beyond just for the sake of it and the benifit it could bring to my neighbors. If I remember right, this happened somewhere at the happy crossing of the last decade or so of my life, and my life wasn't a wretched bleak outlook. I remember I was eating the fruit to take a break from my 'all out' working attitude and to feel relief and innocence. I'm about to bite into the apple, and I literally heard God's voice out of my neighbor.

"You and me are even."

It was the most completely terrifying and reassuring thing I had ever heard in my life. I'm not sure if I've ever shared it. I don't know how I could describe everything I heard and felt condensed into those words. I could feel it in the center of my soul, all the laziness and wrong choices in my life, not living up to anything close to what I was capable of achieving. Like I was finally making effort in my life again, truly, and after years I finally hit the point of even. Not positive. Not a gain. Finally even, not a negative balance or a loss on investment.

Before this after lots of praying and meditation and searching I finally found what I believe is the truth. Adam and Eve were kicked out of The Garden of Eden after eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good, for two reasons. One: they directly disobeyed God's command. Two: They believed that by eating it, they would be, by the Serpent's suggestion, "like God."

I believe that being made in the image of God, or having God's likeness, is not the same as being "like God". God is all knowing, all powerful, and I believe ultimately beyond our comprehension.

I also came to this because I read that the Herbrew translation of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil was "The Tree of Knowledge of Everything.", from it being framed as a "merism." It's this interpretation coupled with language in Samuel that Angels, or for us, Angelic nature, involves not knowing but discerning good from evil. "May the word of my lord the king secure my inheritance, for my lord the king is like an angel of God in discerning good and evil." 2 Samuel 14:17 .

That explanation of Angelic nature I believe explains by contrast knowledge vs discernment. We get to grow and learn as children. We're not all knowing, only God is.

Fruition, eating fruit, or being fruitful can be interpreted in different ways. I partly believe this is why no specific fruit is written or tied to the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. My most basic interpretation is that if you believe something you can do or consume or experience would literally make you like God, all knowing and all powerful, you lose your true nature of innocence and being a child, (even grown ups are referred to as Children in the bibles, small children being referred to as "little ones" by contrast), that is when death enters your body.

I guess I felt the need on a soul level to spell that all out. I don't feel sad and feel unending gratitude for the life God has given me.

I get to be child with freedom and innocence like Adam, coupled with what little rules and expectation's were given which is GREATLY summed up in the great commandment (Luke 10:25-28). I look at descriptions of the future of the world ("The World to Come") of the state of the world returning to the Garden (Revelation describes the Tree of Life reappearing, and the curse from Adam and Eve's sin being lifted). And then we have heavenly and Angelic qualities to experience and pursue.

I didn't plan to put all of that together but it seemed right to explain that wholly and not just one part. I never had demons or was bitten physically, the only explanation I've had is a dream I had twice where I was going for prescription opiods. something I used both legitimately and with abuse. I could see the smiling Nurse and over the pill case was a dense shadow. I wouldn't know exactly what to call it but it was shade with the essence of vampirism. It feels like a force slightly weaker than static.. it doesn't feel like it consumes your body as much as it fills gaps or.. It's not possesion but, I don't want to describe it any more because I don't want to praise it.

Also, the more I think about it, I think of the lazy and disappointing lifestyle and choices I had that lead me there. If I was just a bit better, I wouldn't have been there to begin with.

I have a huge gap in memory leaving college and comming back home which was when I contracted it. I thought I remember an Angel's voice saying very sharply "stop taking them." That's happened to me more than once but it's incredibly rare. I can only remember two instances for certain, once having my age explained to me, another telling me to look at my grown up-mature hands and I saw childlike nature almost like a toddler radiating off of them.

I'm starting to get exhausted and it feels like my neck is giving out now. Using mental, phsyical, spiritual, and mystic discipline I've been able to sustain an unwretched undregraded body but it's not easy, it's not free, and you have limits.

I'm more happy to get the points of faith out than anything. Makes this seem like such a small trouble in the big picture and I feel like, besides explanation of faith, it could be a form of whining and unnecessary complaining to even bring it up.

More importantly, turn and pray to God and you will be put in a better direction than any person or thing could give you. Read Jesus's word, he came and died for us. He made it so easy to be saved and lead to a happier life you wouldn't have imagined possible. I'll post it again, Luke 10:25-28, The Great Commandment. If you can do that, you get to live. I believe that is the summary of what God expects of us. If you put two or more people in a problem, if there's arguing or contention, that leads you to the right answer.

If we do that, we all get to live and Love eachother. If we all pray to God we can be led to that.

What an obvious larping thread. You are the cancer of /x/, op. And that is quite the achievement.

>>19530965
You were an idiot for turning into a Vampire at first.

Everyone knows vampires don't drink blood