Schizo thread v.2

>>19508407

Are you Augusto Pinochet

Have you ever considered that people really ARE talking about you in public?

>>19508407
>still don't know what to do
Seek help from a psychiatrist, anon. Your family is really worried about you.

>>19508453
Well if they were, what the fuck is this helicopter business? It makes zero sense to me

>>19508470
I'm seeing a counsellor, it's called "support through early psychosis service" she helps me a lot but I still find myself trying to figure it out

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>>19508506
I know its hard sometimes and im sorry you have to go throught but stay strong. You are loved.

Maybe there's a really popular normie YouTube video out there with something to do with a helicopter and a guy in the video looks just like you? What other symptoms of paychosis have you had? You may not be crazy.

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I keep on thinking about developing psychosis. I've been trying to experiment with my mind by convincing myself about the truth of delusions and visualising in order to create hallucinations. It's not working and I should probably kill myself for being such a retarded phaggot. I'm still curious though. How do you believe what's going on? Is it impossible just to think to yourself "wait, this is just me having a psychotic break"? I really want to know about the entire process: how schizophrenia develops, what a psychotic episode is like as it starts and how it feels to reflect on it.

I think I might be becoming somewhat schizotypal. I keep on getting retarded feelings about things. Like when I look at pic related, I feel like I'm actually there, looking at this cubic pepe. I also keep thinking there's something attacking my mind at around 5am. I'm self-aware enough to know it's logically false, but I can't stop myself from thinking about it and feeling like it's 100% true. I didn't get these 5am thoughts a year ago.

>>19509026
Oh, and one more thing. I had a dream last night where I massively depersonalised and I was just wandering around in a state of total mental chaos. Thing is, it was a real feeling, it was just in a dream. I'd like to know if that has anything to do with anything.

>>19508579
thank you anon, we'll make it out of this rabbit hole one day

>>19508779
nah never saw anything to do with helicopters, I did think I was connected to Syd Barrett once, who had schizophrenia

>>19509026
It creeps up on you, little things start at first, in my case for example, hearing a voice telling me I'm on a network and starting to think you're connected to people, and you believe it because a voice told you so, and you notice signs everywhere so you think it's real. It quickly spirals into a full blown psychosis when you have like 50 tangents of shit going through your had at once, trying to guess what it all means. You're not gonna develop a psychosis by trying, there a many factors that influence it, like drugs, isolation, trauma etc, I started believing my thoughts when song lyrics seemed to be talking about what I was going through, not normal love/emotion stuff but real weird cryptic lyrics that shouldn't mean anything. My advice is don't /try/ to develop a psychosis, it's horrible and debilitating, if you want to get your fill just talk to people who are schizophrenic and get an idea of it instead of trying to induce delusions.

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I hate lithium.
It gives me the shits and makes drinking bitch drinks impossible. I've been off of it for over a year and a half.
The "judge" laughed at me when the quack fucking doctor said I "cast a spell."

>>19509026
Try LSD. I would think it's hard to bring on a psychosis completely on your own but you'll believe it when you feel it. For me I was so wired and engrossed that it never dawned on me to step back to reality because I would never want to. Being crazy is a million times more fun.

>>19509111
>My advice is don't /try/ to develop a psychosis, it's horrible and debilitating

I know it is, but I'm so starved of mental stimulation that I just can't sate my curiosity. I've also been trying to think clearly enough to hear my own thoughts, but that hasn't worked at all. When it creeps on you, do you notice? Do you have small delusional moments and then later realise that it wasn't normal?

>>19509131
>Being crazy is a million times more fun.
Wow, lots of conflicting opinions on psychosis are floating around. The other guy ITT said it's horrible and debilitating. I suppose it's about perspective, like whether or not you have a good trip on acid. How did it develop for you? I'm becoming obsessed with psychosis, it's so interesting.

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>>19509137
>Do you have small delusional moments and then later realise that it wasn't normal?

Kinda, it's more like a constant struggle to work out what it is I have to do. I don't know if you'll be able to force a psychosis, but if you really want to, start over analysing shit, look for signs and clues, pick an idea and stick with it and you'll start noticing stuff around you nod to it. They're not a very patrish band, but listen to some MGMT, or any band that has cryptic lyrics and look for the patterns and go from there, those guys fuelled my psychosis for sure (I know it's my own fault but whatever).

>>19509131
Make sure it's pure LSD
Lab shit isn't the hippy stuff
That's some MKULTRA shit they push on markets in order to see who dies from it and who the ayy lmaos contact.

>>19509111
What this guy said, you don't fucking want it. It's terrible. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because the complexity of my night stand blows my mind, I think about the wood, how it came from a tree in a forest, how a man had to go there and cut it down, about the chainsaw he used to cut it, about the metal used to make the chain, the the mine the metal came from, the miner that had to extract the ore, the light that lit the mine shaft, the power station that energizes the bulb, and on and on and on... everything is so Damn complex! And I still have to go back to the lumberjack cause I haven't talked about his shoes and what they are made of, or his shirt, the truck he drove there in, the house he lives in, and I still have enough to go back to the nightstand because it's painted, where did the paint come from, where was it assembled and how many things are in the factory that helped assemble it... and this is what I do instead of sleeping some nights.

I know it doesn't make sense, who gives a shit about a table, but I can't help but focus on it until I'm satisfied I've thought of every little thing that had a part in creating it, which is pretty much impossible, this world is too complex and it drives me crazy thinking about it

>>19509185
>see who dies from it and who the ayy lmaos contact.

I think i did both

>>19509182
What are your hallucinations like?

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Thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sf2qYa8c-cA

>>19509211
Pretty obscure
>I heard a voice once say "welcome to the network, you are basically a god now"
>Saw a streak of white light in the sky, thought it was a blurred satellite, it was "home"
>Heard Matt Bellamy from Muse say "you're on a plane mate!"
>Hear people in public talking about me/to me
>Saw a guy on tv move his hand to exactly where I was looking
>I've had some pretty strange dreams that seem to be re-created in music videos I hadn't seen before

>>19509111
The song lyric thing is fucked. I had the same experience, it was so convincing. Movies too. The universe itself was communicating with me...or so I thought.

>>19509146
I agree about perspective. I had no voices, little to no hallucinations, just strong delusions. Might not classify as schizophrenic exactly. No delusions were "malevolent", I'm likely fortunate in that regard.

In retrospect it was humiliating and l'll regret those actions for a long time. It is debilating as you can't properly function and you are just wired for days straight, no control. However, it was something else while it lasted. Top of the fucking world, straight up messiah shit. It started with a very profound acid trip and snowballed over the course of about a month.

This wasn't that long ago. I'm hoping the next time I trip I can regain my intuition and stay vigilant. It is interesting but it's probably not what you really want.

>>19508407

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pak0LEhFyAY

You may just be noticing synchronicity, anon.

If the things the people are saying are actually truly relevant to you and your situation, you may not be as crazy as you think.
Of course, these strangers have their own context they are speaking of, so these messages, if they come, are for your eyes and your eyes only.

The universe is sufficiently complex for their words to fit two contexts.

I have wondered endlessly at this phenomenon.
The way I see it, synchronicity is noticed when you notice the creative power of your emanating consciousness.

You are a center of creation, anon.
Around you is your bubble.

Sometimes it is like a mirror, reflecting back at you with startling accuracy. As if conforming to some non-random rendering scheme.
But did you choose this scheme of creation?
No!
Perhaps some more advanced creative beings are involved. Decorating your surroundings, your tunnel through time.

Many are not ready for such an immersive and responsive field of creation. We prefer our stagnant fields of indifferent probability. We'd be like fish out of water without them.

But every once in a while, some of us are reminded of the true nature of the projection.
And from there, perhaps it is a choice.

Do you embrace this new paradigm?
Or is it dismissed, for another time, when you are ready?

>>19509329
>Sometimes it is like a mirror, reflecting back at you with startling accuracy.
Exactly how I feel, like my thoughts are being mirrored in lyrics, movies, everything around me, no matter how obscure they are

>Do you embrace this new paradigm? Or is it dismissed, for another time, when you are ready?
I don't really know to be honest, I can't tell what's real and what's a lie

>>19509328
It's like they've been through the exact same thing, so it must be real

>>19509026
That's not a cube, anon.

>>19509380
His psychosis is in full force

>>19509364
I don't know either, anon.
I wish you the best on your journey.


One thing I have noticed.
The field of creation is responsive to drugs.
In states of altered consciousness, new phenomena begin to occur around you.
Some drugs can escalate the synchronicities and elicit new and novel behaviors from the people you thought you knew, and then some drugs completely shut it down, as if deliberately designed for that purpose.

I often wonder what kind of forces of intelligence are at work here.

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we summon hanuman is what the tv said when I was watching south park and one night walking passed the living room the football game announcer said that's it for hanuman

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>>19508407
its all just woo man. bullshit woo for attention

>>19509111
this happened to me a few months back and culiminated in cia in the garage and me being banished from west coast to east coast. Fuck me im so directionless now I miss the network.

>>19508453
You don't make any sense...Explain?

>>19509637
maybe you've just been set free, the east/west coast was just guiding you into at first now you're free to do whatever it is we do on your own

>>19509111
This. Mental illness is hell. I'd rather be bored than be a schizophrenic.

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Stopped taking meds over a year ago and all my symptoms are amplified, I hear voices (or I hope I don't) but most of the time I try to like lie to myself and say they are my neighbors or roomates talking about me ??! Does anyone have this ? Also I get super paranoid that someone is watching me on a cam in my room , like my roomates placed it there to be pervs ... idk

One time I was listening to flash delirium by mgmt and when he said hope our heads don't burst I felt like there was a worm our eel in my head and then it tried to bust out it hurt a lot any harder and my head might have really busted

>>19509684
>I try to like lie to myself and say they are my neighbors or roomates talking about me ??! Does anyone have this ?
Like you do it voluntarily? Don't do this to yourself. Stay aware that you have an illness.

>Also I get super paranoid that someone is watching me on a cam in my room , like my roomates placed it there to be pervs
That's common in paranoid schizophrenics. Don't believe it. You are a normal person, the government has no interest in you, unless you somehow are threatening their money.

In any case, schizophrenia is demon possession. Stay woke. Make them comb your chest hair every day, they will eventually die.

>>19509695
dude mgmt lyrics are crazy, "all it is is a feeling", "as long as you feel it, i'm a believer", "there's a reason I don't win, I don't know how to begin", "I don't don't doubt that everyone can feel it too"

>>19509699
I don't believe the government , I believe my roomates installed cams for vouyer porn and stuff . Also I can't be aware of my illness 100% that's why it's an illness bro kek I don't know what to believe my minds plays the best tricks where I can't tell apart reality.

>>19508407
official thread theme

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBpkb0tEe7o

>>19509120
hehe
im a schizoid
whos never taken meds
and never will
THEY CANT STOP ME

WHATS THAT ROBITS
DOESNT COMPUTE?
GO FUCK SOME GRILLS
TAKE UR MED
SEE A MINDSHRINK

>>19509222
welcome

>>19509720
lol electric feel

>>19509740
hahaha fucking hell

>>19509756
with the voltage running through her skin...

>>19509740
I'm laughing so fucking hard reading this thread with this playing

>>19508506
In my opinion talk therapy bullshit. Get some medication if the voices bother you too much.

>>19509380
I know but cubic is a nice way to describe it.

>>19509026
>>19509060
You're at the sweet spot right now where weird shit is happening to you but you haven't formed a stupid opinion on it yet
Going full schizo is not recommended because it usually involves solidifying your vague insanity- something that teeters on the edge of clarity, or at the very least novelty- into coherent beliefs
That's not cool because that's how you end up with cults that span entire countries (mainstream religion) and idiots who think every good thing that happens to them is divine intervention from a figure that someone told them about or that they read about in a book once or twice.
Always keep your mind open

im not schizo but ive had a number of times in my life, especially as a late teen, where my whole persona would change for a few months and i'd be obsessed with things like peeling off my friends' faces and collecting my blood. i don't remember much of my life because of bad natural memory + terrible drug abuse in early life so i can't really remember how or when i came out of these states, but i usually went into cripplin depression before i went back to normal. i took way too much dmt about a year ago and i don't think that those berzerking emotions will come back due to the state of realization i achieved. the doc says i have manipulative tendencies, borderline personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder or something like those if i remember correctly. my IQ is somewhere around 105. also should note i had what i now think was a tulpa, a demon man named table. i only helped to create him he kind of created himself. i miss him a little, but hes the part of my personality that wanted to kill and die so its alright that hes gone

u guys arent schizos, u guys are just dumb as fuck and u live ur life like the lies you are.

if you are schizo, you choose to be schizo

>>19511394
(You)

>>19508407
I too identify as an attack helicopter

>>19511394
Ha.
Ha, ha.
Such a good joke pal.
Have a (You), as being schizo is no joke.
P.S: Happy Birthday me hooray... another wasted year

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>>19508407
>literally two personalities living inside my head
>still don't know what to do

welcome to the club

at least you are aware enough about these things

just don't allow it to drive you nuts.

>>19509146
I can't help but feel like the people who are truly suffering and only have some form of mild psychosis (borderline, antisocial, GAD, etc) are living with judgemental family (probably Christian) or friends and stigmatized 24/7 in their home/community rather than being encouraged to get out there and live.

If this is you, move to a city, find some like minded friends, get a job and a place to live and start living.

I wouldn't go on meds unless you've been diagnosed as Schiz/Paranoid Schiz and have murderdeathkill impulses.

My mom is a paranoid schizo, used to stress that I'd develop it too. I'm afraid to investigate her ex husband about her being on drugs for fear of triggering repressed memories.

I think my mom's illness started with blunt trauma to the head. I had to remind her of how she got the scars on her head, the ones she shaved her head to see. Now she's convinced angel doctors reconstructed her body.

Anyways, bump.

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>>19508407
you know what to do OP

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>>19509026
You can do it but not rationally. You have to surrender to your feelings and prepare for the eventual dopamine floods.