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There is a satanist cult in my mcdonalds
Up to 3 people have sold their souls to the devil for the ability to warp minds, they don't even know they did it, they just think that magic superpowers that require soul drinking isn't satanic (somehow).
I found out when the boss outright told me he was a vampire when I told him I knew magic.
Things got hairy after I made fun of a mini mad prophet (subtype of soul drinker) daughter.
Now it's looking like the escalation is going to turn into a gang war, and they've sacrificed a child to satan specifically to derail the moral balance/magic alignment of the area to suit them.
I have no idea how to investigate this further. Well I do, but I'm lazy.
Anyone with remote viewing and memory digging wanna volunteer? Mad occultist props to the man who does.
[Bart]
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>>19497209
teach me magic bart i wanna wave wands around and shit like in thaumcraft
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>>19497209
It's true.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=040slUxs5yQ
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>>19497209
im so hungry that i'd sell my osul for a big mac right now
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>>19497484
You might wanna think about that...
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>>19497209
Sounds like some boss level larping, with plethoric opportunity for lulz and hijinks.
Don't waste this glorious opportunity anon!
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>>19497209
How does the boss feel about the Detroit rap group Insane Clown Posse?
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>Bart flips another burger. The restaurant is running slow today.
>Now is the time. He must confess. He cant hold it any longer
>Bart meekly approaches his supervisor.
>"Boss I can do magic"
>"Sure you do, Bart. And Im a vampire" says his boss, without looking up from the morning paper
>Bart stands in shock. His whole body is covered in cold sweat.
>A vampire. He heard him perfectly. A confession. /x/ warned him about this.
>"Hey did you hear about that girl Linda? Fucked up huh. People should drive safer around schools."
>Bart cant even hear him. A girl. Killed. Accident.
>Accident? Bullshit. He knows. "The school" is his dungeon. "People" are his cult. His supervisor killed a girl.
>Probably to derail the moral balance/magic alignment of the area to suit them.
>Its the only thing that makes sense.
>Bart starts whimpering and runs back home, still in his work clothes.
>He storms through the front door, leaving oil and grease stains on the carpet.
>He sloppily opens up his laptop and clics on his Microsoft Edge explorer
>It has /x/ as his homepage. As he must.
>Start new thread
>>19497209
His duty is done. America can rest easy. Bart has saved the day, again.
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>>19497662
You are my spirit pony, thank you
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>>19497662
This exactly what happened. Perfect retelling 10/10
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>>19497393
Lmao what
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>>19497493
Thread posts: 12
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Thread images: 5