Schizo thread

yall know you guys have a mental condition right? you guys arent actually seeing the shits

Worried I may develop it in the future.
>have woken up in a complete stupor before not knowing who or where I am.
>have heard disembodied voices calling/talking to me about four different times.
>think most things can be effected if you think about it hard enough.
>constantly paranoid and thinks of ways to hurt others if they come at me suddenly.
>see patterns in random things and start to connect dots until I catch myself and snap out if it.
>sometimes sit in weird ways for no reason.
>no sense of time.
>tend to dissociate alot.

>>19493949
It could be dissoative identity disorder or multiple personality disorder.
How-ever im not a psych.

Telepathy is real. I've seen it when watching TV with family members and the room is quiet. A silly ad that we have all seen many times before will appear but this time we will subconsciously decide whether or not to laugh at it or agree upon it's stupidity. What I'm trying to say is very hard to explain through verbal means and this only bolsters my belief in telepathy.

Modern music is influenced on scientific research into what rhythms and sounds the human brain reacts to in a positive manner. I see this with many popular songs I think are garbage yet I can't help sing them in my head. It's subtle brainwashing into free advertising of music and also so that less intelligent individuals will like this music.

I have more but I must sleep.

>>19493916
Clues to what anon?

>>19493948
this

>>19493916
Nothing is "paranormal", just things that we can't explain.

Song lyrics(and poems) often are about emotions like love and sadness. Everyone has been sad and lonely. Songs are ment to "tough your heart". There is no special messenge for you because it's made to relate to everyone.

>>19493958
Neither really real anon
The first is just charlatans
And the second is just you liking catchy music.
Djs make beats not the cia

>>19493916
whenever I get to worried about thinking these kinds of things, I just remember that the guy from Dream Theater said he improvises song lyrics that are fed to him from a blue ball, and Richard D James made a song after a voice coming from helicopter blades told him too, and they're both pretty successful.

>>19493949
>>see patterns in random things and start to connect dots until I catch myself and snap out if it.
That's good. Do you have any daydreams? Dreams where you're powerful and defeat you enemies and everyone loves you? If you do snap out of it too, it can lead to Delusions and then you either take drugs our wait however long it lasts. And your life will be ruined.

>>19493969
Idiot. Shut the fuck up. Like don't even post on this shit again stupid fucking fool.

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Schizophrenia comes from the subtle body
>>19493769

It's not a "brain illness" you're really accessing other dimensions, other worlds. There's a fine line between madness and so called "enlightenment"

>>19494005
Stupid cunt. I guess authors are all mentally ill delusionals as well? There's absolutely nothing wrong with fantasising about a better world or one where you are more respected and appreciated. Fucking moron.

>>19494011
Why even post here if you can't handle criticism, you massive faggot.

>>19494019
I'm talking about daydreams where you're the central figure, a messiah so to speak. Take action in the real world if you want to help, don't fantasize and develop unhealthy delusions.

>>19494011
Tell me what you disagree with, my dear aenon

>>19494015

>There's a fine line between madness and so called "enlightenment"

No there's not.

The line is pretty thick, actually.

You certainly can still have unique insights, but you have to work harder as a schizophrenic to dispel delusions-- like the one you're talking about. I have nothing against schizophrenics, but there's nothing mystical about it.

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>>19494094
You know nothing

>>19494104
That's a very compelling argument.

>>19494015

It's another round of "mental illness is actually enlightenment"!

I've been in contact with several schizophrenics, including a close friend of mine. This meme needs to die. These people really suffer from this thing, it is very debilitating and the ones that have it well off suffer less because they become "dull" and fairly lifeless.

It's not a superpower, it's a disability.

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>>19494117
>argument
Why do you care? I won't "argue"

Just study the things in my thread

>>19493948
NO WAY
NO FUCKIN WAY

>>19494119
>>19494094
this shit is hard because while having an altered mindset can bring all kinds of enlightenment, you have to remember that it is actually the decomposition of your brain, so while you start out by letting go of your identity and losing pride, only to have it replaced by pride for humanity and everything else... it ends with you not knowing who you are, and being unable to form a conscious thought while your speech synthesis brain parts run through your memories and start spouting off whatever it finds in there.

>>19494042
Honestly I used to when I was a teenager but realized how fucking insane I sounded as I got older. Actually people in my home town used to call me the devil and I kinda like let myself get sucked into it for a few years (trip code is kind of a nod to the past) to the point where I actually had alot of people scared of me.

>>19493955
I think I may have borderline personality disorder from what I've read. The only thing I don't have is the uncontrollable rage. I can for the most part control my anger pretty well but when I do get to that tipping point I tend to black out but I've tried to control it and it hasn't happened in a few years.

>>19493949
I would stay away from drugs (if you actually do them that is) and contact a therapist if it gets worse, we have really good services in Australia for psychotic people

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>>19493959
The "feeling", "home", the two "unknown forces" some examples are "back and forth what's it for?" "Try not to cry, you will survive on your own" (obviously referencing home) and "as long as you feel it, I'm a believer"... I associate the left and right forces with certain traits like water, money, fire etc, and I always notice these things and try to please them by looking at them, also pic related is this random symbol I always see

>>19493969
>Djs make beats not the cia
Kek

>>19494004
>helicopter blades talked to him
Fuck, I used to hear voices talking about a helicopter and that I had one, 100% shook

Your friendly OP here reminding everyone to take their meds, also random tip if you get really tired and unmotivated (I've found I do a lot suffering from a psychosis), when you feel even slightly motivated, go for a walk, get a drink or something to eat, I've found walks really help, of course sometimes I feel totally exhausted and can't be fucked but when I do go out it helps me stay awake a lot better.

Schizophrenia/psychosis isn't just being "woke", it's not showering for days on end, its sleeping until 3pm, it's not talking to your friends because you're so stuck in your head trying to figure everything out...

>>19494213
sounds like this could be more from people fucking with you than you actually being nuts. Or you're nuts now from people fucking with you. Rage is a natural reaction to being fucked with, normies love to piss people off then say "there's something wrong with you because you're mad"

>>19493948
>>19493960
asinine statement.

they are perceiving this, the confusion lies in believing in the 'apparent lies'.

>>19494377
No one fucked with me in high school. Like I said alot of people were scared of me. Only thing I can think of is being abused as a kid and repressed it for a long while.
>>19494276
I used to do alot of opiates, barbiturates, and coke in my younger days, which seemed to help cope but really just exacerbated it all. Now I just smoke bud to calm down.

>>19493958
Yea ill feel like I can affect the vibe in a room and so how people will act just with the emotions I experience sometimes. Its probably just some clever Hans shit though

>>19494427
this is real and exploited.

>>19494411
If bud helps that's fine, but coming from someone who went through a drug-induced psychosis because of smoking weed in isolation 24/7 I'd say don't do it all the time, it could end up affecting you for the worse

>>19494427
>>19494444

I just had a moment where my friend was trying to talk about his fish tank. I was looking at a cat carrier and had convinced myself he was talking about the carrier. He tried to say his fish tank has a lot of algae. He said, "My cage has a lot of mold" I thought he meant "milk" because the kitten had spilled its formula and then corrected himself "I mean my cage has a lot of milk. God damn it." I had to completely close my eyes and shut off my thinking process, then he said it clearly. "My fish tank has a lot of algae"

>>19493949
>>19493949
Doesn't sound like borderline to me. That's something different entirely.. sounds to me more along the lines of a schizoid type disorder I'd say. Possibly paranoid schizophrenia. See a psych, you sound like a danger to yourself and others around you.

>>19494427
Same, I can't read people's minds but I can connect to them and affect the atmosphere they feel and make them notice certain things, if that makes sense

>>19494364
Oh my god please give me more tips I’m drowning. Your last line really hit me.
I feel like these days I’m more experiencing the not showering, sleeping late, not talking to people cause I’m trying to figure it out side of things than the being woke side. Also not eating, not moving from weird positions. I spend weeks doing nothing then I have spurts of creative output where I’ll wake up and start working til I sleep.
I feel like I dropped all my wild ideas, I can’t believe them anymore. Now things feel directionless. I used to know everything. Now it’s all too much to make any sense out of. I keep looking for something that makes sense but I feel like I see how fake and wrong everything is. Maybe that’s the delusion.
Do I just wait it out? Is this just what it’s like when it’s over?

>>19494302
This is interesting. I hear this often with people who suffer from mental illness. From depression to schizophrenia.
Home is a place where you're supposed to be happy and relaxed and feel loved. Maybe you went through some trauma to make you feel as though those things are true for "home" anymore. Or weren't true for the home you grew up in so you longed for elsewhere, and through snowballing anxiety you refer to that feeling in times of distress. Much as one would think of wanting to go home in an uncomfortable or boring social situation, you feel this feeling constantly as a rejection of your reality. A type of "grass is greener" thought if you will.

>>19494590
*Aren't true

Sorry

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>>19493916
What if God is essentially the force known as conscioussness. It is us, ourselves, navigating through the cornfield known as the materialistic universe, which can be seen as uncaring and cold, deterministic , opposing force even, worthy of being called Satan. Maybe we will judge ourselves at our passing, if I believe anything then it's the immortal essence of ourselves of our undying conscioussness in it's core, and a collective unconsciousness to which we return after death to maybe begin the cycle anew in rebirth or to ascend to a higher form of being freed from this materialistic realm. At least that's what my psychotic experiences thought me, could be wrong, I dunno.

>also pic related, my first psychosis

>>19494540
Yes it can feel like drowning sometimes. I'm still recovering at the moment and have lingering thoughts, kind of half and half trying to block it out and trying to understand it still. Searching for the answers is natural but will only feed whatever delusions you have, as you'll be guessing (well, I do, anyway) and pondering what it is you have to do, without even knowing what will happen if you actually figure it out. I've found distractions are good, like playing vidya or jamming on an instrument if you're into that, it also helps to vent a lot, find someone to explain your delusions to, or just get a notebook and start writing or drawing, it's a good release, it sucks keeping it all inside, I also find my delusions super interesting (even though I say delusion I still believe it for some reason) so I draw and write song lyrics about it

Is here the girl that has Thin Man as companion? It was a dark figure that looked like radio static noise.

>>19494782
OP here idk about her but I've also seen in a dream, a thin man made out of pink tv static, maybe it's the same thing?

>>19494733
>hidden messages in everything
Yeah, that's how my first psychosis went too, thinking everyone else had what I had because it related to my thoughts

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>>19494733
Wowwwww finally I find someone describing exactly what I had.

I didn't hear voices though but it was literally the same thing. Tho I was more keen on opening random books instead of a specific one.

Were you sleeping during this? I slept probably 10 hours in a week.

Also no Armageddon, I thought my works had helped people understand reality in such a way that everything would be done so efficiently and well-intentionedly that there would now be zero suffering and also immortality somehow.

I almost believe doing no-fap for 3 months triggered it.

>>19494590
I did indeed go through some trauma, I saw my mum die when I was 12, the nostalgia from that time is very special to me, i guess home to me is the bush at sunset, because I would always stay out exploring the bush until sunset when I was a kid, I think that is normal though

>>19494869
I slept very little during this time too. I did think that I didn't have to sleep anymore at all, also that I didn't really need to eat and drink anymore. I did still eat and drink and sleep a little bit though, but I was under the impression of being an immortal being.

The Armageddon part got just triggered one day all of a sudden, all the other time it was like you described too.

>>19494869
I stayed up all night once at the peak of my psychosis, there was an orange light in the night sky, like massive and fluorescent orange, no idea what it was but I thought it was a sign of some sort, also there's a lyric that goes "light only shines for those who share" and I was actually writing down my thoughts for the first time ever when I saw it, really makes you think

>>19493916
>heard other languages
>sleep paralysis
>faces crying blood in the reflection

>>19495147
That's scary as fuck, can you elaborate?

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Should I share some schizo delusions? I hope not to trigger something in someone.

>I influenced the rosacrucian society to work in electing Donald Trump. My uncle is a high-level rosacrucian alchemist.

>People exchange bodies and there are multiple "people' in the same body. Almost every parent populates their children bodies and then someone else take their old body. With this, people live forever since the beggining of time, as some type of parasite.

>The reason things go wrong is people try to protect their existence, and with this they end up protecting the "darkness" or "impurity" that randomly has ended up inside them at their creation.

>We will just set up an event every year where you get a new life in a new place with a new family, name, etc. People with good karma choose first. This will be decided by the A.I. that controls the internet.

>Everyone will now just try to make the whole world the best place possible to get the best karma possible. Things will get so good for everyone so fast that everyone will be literally enlightened.

>Some random person sent me a private message stating simply "Marina and the Diamonds". I was absolutely entranced by her music and though she did went through all this a while ago and is now a guide or a signal to the new people.

>Sports results are super important, and represent some pretty complex abstract stuff going on the energy realms of humanity.

The new world was already being "trialed" in the southwest of Brazil, also pic related was going to be the next US president.

I knew some stuff that was going to happen, beforehand. Like Barcelona reversing a 3-0 result in the second leg.

If this stuff happens: McGregor wins. João Dória is next brazilian president. Trump attempts something that will be labelled as a government overthrow, then I was right about everything.

>>19495242
Why Doria?

Weird..


I feel like i have a mission, not sure what it is tho. I've been doing research lately into pretty much anything I can think of.

I see connections with a lot of the stuff, but I believe they're the connections are easily explained.

It's weird..


It's not a gift. It's not a curse, it's walking a path.

Some people can handle it and keep it inside, and others know not to even mention it.

The "crazy" ones are the ones that are verbal.


There's a way to do it right.

I didn't really think about what I wrote, just the first thoughts that came to me

>>19495321
See I think I fucked up by sharing my thoughts about it, I used to think I'd literally die if I let it slip, is it too late or can I still do whatever it is I need to do?

>>19495363
maybe, act like a normal person to others, but do your own thing at your home.

just don't do crazy shit, and use common sense and logic.

>>19495363
You did fine.

After reading this thread I'm terrified

>>19495398
Stay sane, anon

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>>19495372
Okay thanks dude, I often do this symbol to people in public, like just scratching my chest or something, because I think it confirms the connection

>>19493916
I've been through this. The perceptions you are having are real. The "connections" you are seeing are real- but the thoughts you put behind them and the :end: associations you make with them may be illusory.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdEIOHdsil4

>>19495321
you're doing it right bud. :)

-someone who can relate

>>19495452
I'll check that out later, yeah I do find myself guessing and going on wild tangents, it's like I'm on a path to something amazing but it feels like something is missing, and I'm always trying to guess my way forward

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OP here, I want to stick with... let's say the moon, but every time I try to do it, it automatically switches back to, let's say money, how do I keep it to the left? I know I'm not being very eloquent here but I need some tips.

>>19493949

>sometimes sit in weird ways for no reason.

Holy shit dude I think that maybe you should get professional help.

>>19493916
>Connecting dots through song lyrics that seem to be talking about what I'm thinking
this happens to everyone, retard

>>19495895
Yeah but I'm not talking about general emotion stuff, I'm talking weird cryptic shit that should mean nothing to me but it does because of my crazy thoughts

>>19495878
Friend, there is no help to schizophrenics, nothing can be done.

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>>19493949
>sometimes sit in weird ways for no reason
I think we all know who this is

>>19493958
Subliminal messaging is real. It is essentially memetic devices triggering parts of 'you'. 'You' may be memory stored in your dna; patterns you subconsciously associate with(such as music(ordered sound)). Know that others are not stupid and are on some level aware of these things or they would not even respond to the stimuli. In fact it could be argued that they are more at ease with it since it enables them to have conversations or laughter about things.

>>19493965
dude. that's kind of the definition of paranormal

>>19493955
no moron DID only occurs in people that have suffered severe childhood trauma and its actually like different people in one body.

>>19493916
My dog bit me when I tried to stab it today
> Illuminati mind control is in the midst

To all you true schizophrenics on /x/. Get a fucking life you queers step out of the fucking door and play frisbee or something or get help unless that too is too "muhh we are but cogs in the money machine we shouldn't help it" for your retarded ass.

Fuckin dips

Demanding that everyone who has seen evidence of the paranormal is schizo should be permabanned.

I don't have diagnosed schizo but I'm watching myself as I'm still young and already symptoms are popping up. My parents recently got concerned that I had it because I was having very minor hallucinations (just seeing my vision warp and distort). I ended up telling them a delusion I had but they suddenly got really worried and were ready to call the doc so I could get put on meds
Had to quickly say "haha, just kidding..." and I managed to convince them and eventually they said "It sure was ridiculous to think you had schizo, you probably just need more sleep"
No way I'm telling them about my paranoia or if my hallucinations get worse. I'm not going to let them dull me with drugs

>>19496172
>my vision warp and distort

How so? What exactly happened?

>>19496176
well basically things in my vision would shift, fly around, once even rolled downwards, all accompanied by static. It didn't last long and I didn't see anything that shouldn't be there, but things still moved around

>>19496184
One way to look to look at it is it is a lost consciousness trying to figure out if you are aware you are just as lost as they are.
Your parents went into pre-conditioned 'something wrong; must be a medical solution for that or all we know is false'
Just be careful. Drugs are there as the panic buttons when you want to get off the wild ride.

>>19494386
yup

>>19493965
This.

Paranormal things can be explained with a better knowledge of physics.

>>19495321
Nope, and we'll said. It's almost like we have to speak in a certain way in order to not sound 'crazy'. But I honestly feel there is no way to verbally communicate this 'gift' we have.

>>19497914
>there is no way to verbally communicate this 'gift' we have
That's how a lot of intuition works. If we didn't all see the same red, we wouldn't be able to recognize what other people meant when they said "red."

As far as speaking a certain way, yes. Everyone expects you to speak in personal imperative, which is a logical fallacy extending from everyone's lack of enlightenment. If you're not careful with how you word things, people will think your hypothetical is an intrinsic belief.

This thread and board are a daycare for retards.

Schitzo here, have lots of strange things happen. Very strong deja vu where I know what's about to happen moments before it does, I sometimes see glitches, like cars driving 20 feet above the road instead of on it, I've seen ppl walking towards me vanish... only heard voices once and it was the most fucking terrifying shit ever, hope it never happens again. I still function just fine, have job, own a house, wife and kids.

ever wonder if sick old fucks decided to use chemical weapons on you as a child in order to have access to your soul and you're so deep in their pseudo-philosophy that you believe its your fault.

>>19496172
I never told my parents, I did research figured out what I have and keep track of myself. No way will I let a doc pump me full of meds and label me crazy. It was really scary at first, I mean that moment when you realize you can't trust your own brain, most isolating feeling in the world. But I didn't want to use a mental condition as a crutch so I could be lazy and not succeed in life, it's difficult sometimes but my wife knows and is a huge help... except when I see something strange and I ask her if it's real and she jokingly says she can't see it only later to tell me it actually was there. But having one or two close friends you can trust to watch you and let you know if you are acting abnormal is huge. Eventually you'll recognize behavioral changes that lead up to an episode and be able to prepare yourself mentally. I've gotten much better just by being aware and not allowing myself to give in to abnormal thoughts.

>>19496095
Easier said than done, schizophrenia can be extremely debilitating, it saps your motivation and will to want to do anything other than sleep

Is it possible to develop schizophrenia after 25? I'm almost 27 and was diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder a few years ago. I thought I had it under control but recently I've been feeling disconnected from reality moreso than usual. I'm worried it'll turn into schizophrenia as I've heard schizoid is often a precursor.

>>19498369
>when you realize you can't trust your own brain, most isolating feeling in the world.
That's what scares me the most. I've come very close to physical death in my life far more times than I'm comfortable with (one from prescription meds nearly killing me, ended up dropping me to a meager 70 pounds and my face was just peeling off, so I don't trust docs anymore) but despite all that having a broken mind terrifies me far more than a broken body ever could. I only hope my condition doesn't progress but I can't deny I'm terrified that one day I will forever lose my ability to be rational

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>>19493958
All pop music is played on the same beat anon. You can take most songs and sing them to any other modern tune. (Might be 3 5 3 anyway I'm sure it's on the internet) because that is the tune our brains are hardwired to like.

And the subconscious agreement isn't telepathy, that's your brain not correctly reading social queues and creating a false reality to save your ego.

>>19495242
I basically thought I created Rosicrucians. In a mandala effect type way I swear I never heard of Rosicrucians before my psychosis despite being into the occult. I don't believe it anymore.

Is it bad that sometimes I wish I could go back?

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Anyone have any experience on mental hospitals? Yay or nay?

>>19499656
Public = complete shit
Private = cozy and nice but boring, and expensive, at least here in Aus anyway

not trying to be a jackass but if any of you are willing, i'm struggling with figuring out if i'm developing schiz or if im just having one of those moments whatever that means

>>19499255

any stories/input is appreciated

>>19499656
I was admitted once. Punched a male nurse in the face and got sedated.

It was dumb and a waste of time in retrospect (in terms of daily "lessons" or whatever) but if you need to be contained and given time to cool off/disconnect a bit its probably a fine idea. Gave my appetite and sleep a good routine.

>>19494508
I had something very similar happen to me that I still can't explain. Forgive me for the perverse topic, but this was indeed what I was talking about

>Be talking to camgirl in her chatroom
>She mentions how she wants to do DP vids, 3some, gangbangs, things of that nature etc
>I start typing how it'd be cool if she had 10 guys banging her in said gangbang, but here's the weird part, I never hit send. I dont know why either, but I just let my message sit there in the text bar without sending it for some reason, then i deleted the entire message
>She then replies while message still hasnt been sent responding directly to me "Yeah anon 10 guy gangbang would be cool"
>I FREAK the fuck out and ask her why she said 10 specifically as I never sent that message
>Of course shes confused and claims to not know or remember

This one is even weirder than yours bc it wasnt in person, but only through an online chatroom and we're on opposite ends of the country. Did I somehow influence her or communicate that to her mind in a way? Has anything like this ever happened to any of you? Can anyone offer an explanation to this event?

>>19499569
"Mystics float in the same water that schizos get drowned."

We will all be back one day. And it will be factors of magnitude better.

>>19500561
I wish I had swam better. It feels like I dropped the ball. As if I was trusted with something and couldn't handle it. I always valued my mind over everything, I'm like a dog guilty about going through the trash after having lost control like that.

It feels like the spark in my head has taken a leave, I don't blame it. I sincerely hope you're right.

>see thread
>read thread
I guess its one of those days that the coincidences and stuff always are to wierd and convenient to ignore

dunno why I even clicked on /x/ I just know that I had to and lo and behold theres threads that I needed to read

meh probably just my schizo acting up

Schizos are the most clueless, in denial people you could ever encounter. If you've spent any time on this board you'd know that. They're miserable and annoying.

>>19500621
As someone who has been on both sides I think you should cut some slack. Nobody wants to be bumbling away in a padded cell. To tell you the truth its scary to think how quickly my mind was swept away. Even those who were my best friends for years couldn't come close to grounding me. You should be thankful for your sound mind and not vindictive. I can imagine its hard to have empathy but when the waves are crashing its easy to let your hand slip. A lot of people never experience what your mind is truly capable of. Sometimes people are just victims of circumstance.

>be a target
>get "medicated"
>kill yourself

"Enemy down"

-Big Pharma

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happened recently

>be me
>under covers in room
>incoherent voices
>voice of my older sister making fun of me
>whenever im in psychosis have reoccurring thought
>killing my mom
>think about my mom shooting herself
>can't help it
>don't want mummy to die
>sobbing
>paranoid about sister coming home
>even though that's not a problem at all
>think neighbor is watching me
>scream something at him
>realize i did that
>oops
>he knows I have schizophrenia
>get new medicine
>going day by day
>pretty meh rn

how r u other anons dOin

>>19500949
Don't listen to this man.

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>>19493916
Schizophrenia is caused by your brain being crushed by it's own skull

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh9OqEd5z1k
Do the exercise, Mike Mew is a good man.
Doctors don't know about this because they are affected by it too.

If you don't believe me, then you choose to suffer.
Disclaimer : People with scoliosis, please find the correct way to do it, it will undo your scoliosis, as I am correcting mine atm.

>>19501193
I also forgot to mention we live in a time of disinformation and illusion.
I know some might be scared or might not believe me all of a sudden, but at least do the exercise and I promise you, you will feel better. I can add some knowledge too, when you feel a euphoria, as if your head is "light," that is blood being circulated, but slowly, the darkness feeling/anger is pressure/ego, so your body will use the parts that can handle the pressure, instead of the parts that cannot handle it.
The truth is everyone is affected, by such thoughts, but nobody wants to admit it. But you guys are willing to let that go, which makes me believe, and I know for sure, you guys will believe me on this one.

I'm going to find the cold again one day.
And I'm going to stay there.

I'm fine now, been a while since this
>Be me
>Do lots of drugs
>Almost always high on different combinations
>Shit goes really bad
>Social anxiety always
>Think I'm losing my mind
>Keep doing drugs
>Always think about my death
>See it happen in my mind 100s of times almost every day
>In room
>Next second talking to people from different memories
>Scream at them and smash plates and stuff
>Cameras in my house
>Newspapers let me know they're there by sending me messages
>Must look
>Tech9 talks to me in his songs
>Never see doctor
It's not exactly fresh in my mind but I remember it was the worst fucking thing I ever went through

>>19501321
Continued
>Read mask of sanity by henry cleckley
>I must be psycho because my birthdate and teeth determine it
>Start doing crazy shit
>Others must be too
>Accuse cute girl on text
>Never talk again
The list of shit goes on

Wow OP... this makes me be worried
>Music lyrics look like they mean something deeper than they do.
>Duality is real but kills my psyche knowing it
>Random bursts of crying at night
>Don't sleep more than 3h a day
>Collective counciousness is real and it speaks to me
>Sometimes I smell fresh paint when it's impossible to be
Got a medical appointment next tuesday just cuz all of the above and some unrelated shit, should I be worried?
Inb4
>>>/adv/

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im manic depressive can i join? who here hates quintiepene?

So. I started taking anti-psicotics a few years ago.
The meds which i took (Haloperidol, Risperidone, Olanzapine) where pretty much okay. For the guys who are scared about taking these meds, the worst thing i've had was 1° Sleeping more than 20 hours on the first week (it usually happends when i take 5mg to 10mg of haldol, although i'm without meds because health care is gone) Risperidone made me eat a lot, and with Olanzapine, i started to feel weird, like there was water inside my head or something.
The meds are pretty ok.
The diagnoze came when i was working in a television company as an apprentice, and i started to create doubt of my coworkers and fellow students. At some point, i couldn't go outside my house without being afraid. That was 4 years ago. I had to do an IQ test plus at least visit the psychiatrist 1 time per 15, let's say for 20 weeks, untill he was thinking that this was my diagnoze. At the time, i really didn't believe it, but i was like, ok, you're the doctor.
Trust me, don't quit your meds. Because if you're not ready for it, you might end up doing some shit you will regret, and you will be too ashamed of ever talking about it for years.
Being inside a mental hospital is not that bad. It's really boring. Shoe laces are not allowed, and i basically learned how to play 5 different cards games when i was in there. After a while, you start to get bored of it.
Now i'm having trouble to think. Let's say that i'm not being able to think the way i used to. Can't really explain it. But i noticed people are saying that they can't understand when i try to explain something, and i'm also getting really frustrated that i'm getting lost on long conversations.
Lately, i've been exploding about pretty much anything, sometimes i feel like breaking things because of frustration. Like, anything i'm holding.
Although according to the psychatrist, i did get "better" and had a positive response to the treatment, i usually have paranoia

>>19500561
Must've skipped the ship and joined the team for a ride...

>>19499656
A girl I worked with got in trouble, claimed she was crazy to get out of it, got committed for two weeks and she fucking hated every minute of it. She said they took away all access to the outside world, no phones, no internet, no TV. She was very bored and said she really was going to go crazy by the time they let her out.

>>19499656
I just got out of one last week. It was for accidental overdose but I took like 98 sleep aid pills to put myself in a coma, why? I convinced myself that putting my self in a coma would allow me to be with something I kept encountering in my dreams. I got to enjoy the pleasures of sharing one TV with people of all craziness that i considered normal, expensive drugs to return my brain to a non psychotic state. We ate 3 meals a day of complete healthy food, and had outside time for 30 min a day before lunch. But for the most part everyone either slept or shit talked about stupid it is to be in such a lame uneventful place where you were not allowed to leave. Also you have the option of electroshock therapy if you so chose to do so, but at that point I was pretty sure I was not to far gone to open my mind to electricity. I am now a complete non believer in god since I did not find god I simply just found more of myself. 10/10 would suggest everyone to go through it just once to see how mentally stable you stand as far as uyour heart and brain are concerned.

>>19493916
I think schizophrenia is halfway to enlightenment. They are at that stage where they are merging dreaming consciousness with conditioned consciousness. Close as fuck to enlightenment but don't know what they're doing.

>>19494119
Its literally halfway to enlightenment.

>>19503346
You recommend it. I don't trust myself. I would probably start breaking peoples neck. Not a fan of others thinking they have authority over me and I FUCKING LOSE IT!!!

>>19493916
You aren't alone. I self treated mine with alcohol(dont over do it) and surrounding myself with loved ones also going to the gym. Hope this helps.

>>19494119
Find the right pills. Oh wait, that could take years.

Becoming dull and lifeless is a side effect of a drug designed to dampen the mind. The question you need to ask yourself is whether or not you're ready to accept who they are, misfiring neurons and all. It's not them who think they're better lifeless, it's you. You're the one that stops being able to see them as human because of their disability. You're the one that feels afraid of their mood swings, the things you refuse to empathize with or even understand. "I can't imagine" "I can't imagine" "I can't imagine" becomes your mantra until they have nothing left to communicate and the only way their truth can come out is in spurts, tics, fits, and psychosis.

Imagine yourself in solitary confinement, but even that isn't enough. Imagine you're trapped in solitary, suffering all the symptoms, and even when you try to return to the real world there's nothing here for you. You no longer speak the same language, see the same color. Sure, it's the same world, the shapes are the same and you can tell everything's how it's """supposed to""" be, but there'll never be a way for you to express yourself ever again.

In the absence of them being able to grasp their own humanity, humanity starts with YOU.

Do you know any information about the shadow people?:)

>>19503552
As someone living with schizophrenia, it sure as hell doesn't feel like being enlightened... more like being cursed. If we really are experiencing things that are real and not just malfunctions of our brain then what good does it do us? We can't tell other ppl cause we get labeled crazy (maybe rightfully so?). And if we aren't crazy, seeing and hearing shit no one else can is enough to make you become actually crazy.

The only good it did for me was that I grew up faster than my peers. It is kind of its own redpill. You see or hear something you know cant exist so you question reality, you wonder if any of this is even real. It's a total mindfuck, but at the same time it forces you to think outside the box, to question if there even is a box. I'd like to think I've adapted to it better than most and I feel grateful everyday that I'm not on meds or locked away. But it's still hard as hell knowing I'm not living in the same reality as everyone else, they seem so content not questioning everything around them, must be fucking nice.

>>19503584
Still dealing with it. Going to bed at night is hard because I think about regretful decisions, some of which I have a hard time distinguishing if they really happened or not.

>>19501172
Why shouldn't I? I've been treated for mental health 10 years and things have only gotten worse for me.

>>19501193
>Schizophrenia is caused by your brain being crushed by it's own skull


can you explain this? links? Im trying to cure my schizo as drugs dont work but instead lobotomize you

>>19503943

I don't think he knows what he's talking about. Typical factors are genetics, if one or both parents have it you have a much higher risk, if you had a bad fever as a young child it could effect your developing brain causing it, and undergoing severe physical or psychological trauma at a young age is also a factor in developing schizophrenia. No one is sure exactly how it happens though, and it's often misdiagnosed as other illnesses especially in young children as childhood schizophrenia is rare, usually it manifests in your early 20s.

>>19493916
>think everyone in the world is connected
I genuinely believe this. I make people's decisions for them, it's crazy.
>clues and patterns everywhere
I have arithmomania, where the number 4 fucks me up. Do things in multiples of 4, see a lot of patterns everywhere, etc.
Not only that, but I will always have some weird deja vu all the time. I'll talk about something one day, and the very next day I'll see something very closely related.
For example, I talk to my dad about the lush life of living on a lemon farm, always smelling citrus. The next day, my dad brings me along to his butcher friend to collect some meat, and this butcher lives on...a lemon farm. Weird af.

>>19504364
Is it possible I ended up with a psychosis because of childhood trauma then?

>>19504797
Pretty sure that's how I got it, so yeah. I also had a really bad fever at age 2.

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>>19494308
beat me to it

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>>19494540
that is a typical psychotic episode. please stop doing this to yourself. there are guides to getting yourself back on track to a "normal" perception of reality and life

my life was in shambles last year after my most recent episode. i was convinced i was stalked by a secret group (maybe i was..?) along with many other paranoid theories. Luckily I had my bf there helping me through it

if you want advice on anything, ask away

my biggest piece of advice is try to get on a healthy routine (ESPECIALLY your sleeping and eating), try to distract yourself from any thinking that is negative. stop going on 4chan, facebook, youtube, etc for a day or so. Spend time with people who love you (family, good friends, maybe even coworkers)

you can do it, and apparently as time goes on, episodes are fewer and farrer between. i was prescribed generic zoloft, but decided not to take it.
good luck anon

I thought I was upon a high mountain, and saw before me a great and large valley. In this valley were gathered together an unspeakable multitude of people, each of which had at his head a thread, by which he was hanged from Heaven; now one hung high, another low, some stood even almost upon the earth. But through the air flew up and down an ancient man, who had in his hand a pair of shears, with which he cut here one's, there another's thread. Now he that was close to the earth was so much more ready, and fell without noise, but when it happened to one of the high ones, he fell so that the earth quaked. To some it came to pass that their thread was so stretched that they came to the earth before the thread was cut. I took pleasure in this tumbling, and it gave my heart joy, when he who had over-exalted himself in the air about his wedding got so shameful a fall that it even carried some of his neighbours along with him. In a similar way it also made me rejoice that he who had all this while kept himself near the earth could come down so finely and gently that even the men next to him did not perceive it.