/x/, how do I turn into a vampire?

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>>19465387
dracula don't fucking play, you don't wanna be a vampy, they're hella gay

Ok. Drink a mixture of ketchup, mustard and vinegar

>>19465387
You don't

>>19465387
Fuck yourself

>>19465387
First you have to practice sucking.
It shouldn't be hard to find volunteers in your local craigslist.

>>19465387
Renfield knew.
First flies.
Then spiders.
Then birds.
Next, cats.

Here we fucking go again.

>>19465387

>>19464002
vampfags already have a thread, use it