How can I entice Greys to abduct me?

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>>19453007
dress up as cow

>>19453018
fug i fugt up. for shame.

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>>19453007
Ayy Baby

>>19453007
Why though? Do you want your poopy hole probed?

>>19453007
Head bent over, raise the posterior.

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>>19453035
Misconception,
Really we put needles in your eye
Nails in your ear.
Drain you of blood,
Take your soul
Take your tongue
and expect you to understand.

Only one of them in true.

>TL;DR We did it anyway without you knowing.

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>>19453059
Don't forget the fact that we also chop off your penis, then replace it with an identical copy.

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>>19453142

>>19453035
I was hoping to show them I am smarter than the average human and tell them I want to go live with them.

>>19453416
>smarter than the average human
>browses /x/
Pick one.

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What I want to know is: how do I PREVENT Greys--or any other entity--from abducting me or entering my house?

Lay off the tendies and start working out OP, then the women who you call 'aliens' might take a second to look at you.

>>19453007
Why would you even want that to happen? By most accounts its a horrific & traumatizing experience.

>>19453007
Do lots of siddhi yoga until you get psychic abilities. Being psychic makes you stand out a bit more above the billions of other people her.e

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>>19455261
>tfw you get anally http://youtu.be/qfbk7mPxD0w

>>19453041
Ohhh yeah

>>19453007
close your eyes. think real hard. they will come.

Go outside, pull down your pants, stick a flashlight in your butt (just the handle, the light should be facing outward), then bend over so the light points skyward. Using a megaphone, continuously yell "PROBE ME!" The best place to do this is in San Francisco.

>>19453007
You gotta show a little ankle, OP.

>>19453007
Shave your butthole.

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>>19455529