any idea how I get back on track?

>>19412587
I'm in the same boat, friend.
Recognize that you are smarter, more conscious, more socially aware than you have ever been before.
You are awake, seeking a higher path, which is more than most can say in a world focused solely on the accumulation of material wealth.
I have also gone through these many changes, struggling with eating habits, drug addiction, masturbation, sexual relationships, family life, etc.
This is a time for us to finally consider and let go of the person we used to be, so that we can finally become the person we were meant to be.
We can try to participate in the same old habits, but all it does is lead to the same old painful outcomes.
It is time for us all to reconsider where we wish to go in the world and what is truly important to us. I'll do my best, sending you blessings as you continue your journey.

>>19412587
i wouldnt share your newfound knowledge iof i were u. ideas are worth billiions. to go around acting like a know it all will get you perma banned

>>19412615
Well in some ways I feel less intelligent than I was. I was probably in a near constant manic state for a month. But by about the 3 week mark my family started to get to me. Long story short my parents kept making "subtle" hints that I had gone insane and everyone continued to talk over and ignore me. I then started looking into psychology. I now overthink everything I say and how I say it. Went from everyone treating me like a asspie to suddenly being Mr popular within a few days. But it all feels so fucking empty.

So yeah I think that might have done it. I had such high hopes for humanity and then I understood them for the first time. And it's hard to reconcile the two.

"We can try to participate in the same old habits, but all it does is lead to the same old painful outcomes."

Yeah, thinking about it just about most of my setbacks have been from this. I keep trying to regulate myself and I keep failing.

>>19412752
With failing comes understanding.
"Only in a mad world can the blind claim to see. Only in a world of suffering can we claim to be free."

>>19412752
Dude your story sounds very similar to mine. Unassailable spiritual evolution derailed by cynical family members.

Fact is, if your close family is still 'in the matrix' so to speak, they are unconsciously trained to keep you in the matrix too. Not an overt conspiracy against you, I guess it's just modern society's in built self-policing mechanism.

I have learned to keep my spirituality to myself. "Keep your brilliance veiled among the masses" or words to that effect are found in the Book of Changes.

Try not to be too disheartened by your family. This is a very normal obstacle on the spiritual path, and if anything it's a sign of significant progress.

>>19412633
I know well enough not to try to teach people who don't wish to be taught.

Anyway off the top of my head I can't really think of anything that is really novel. I haven't specialised enough in anything to have done that.

What I'm really good at is convincing people, in the short term atleast that I'm right about something. Often that something is the antithesis of one of their core beliefs. But after they sleep they don't stick with it. To get them to I have to play the long game and be more subtle. Work of a foundation I have built and use herd mentality to my advantage.


I find this quite easy to do because I'm obsessed about learning things. I like to be proven wrong. So I have a logical answer for everything. Even if that answer is a honest fuck if I know.

Most people spend most of their time nit picking the words people use. Or one side won't admit the other has a point so they both get hung up on that.

People prefer to use simplistic lies to tell themselves they are right because they fear that they may be wrong. Ironically this means that they are wrong about almost everything.

>>19412587
Same boat, OP. At it's peak I had just constant flow of thoughts which I've collected into a journal. Gotta just wait for the next wave now, I think.

>>19412848
How long ago was the last wave?

>>19412859
Personally I'd say from April to June of this year was when it really peaked.

>>19412868
The waves seem to be part of a happening. I've read many threads about it. When it happens a large part of /x/ seems to be connected by it or to it.

Did you write down anything interesting from 3rd May to May 5th? That seemed to be the most interesting one.

>>19412903
Indeed. At that time I wrote:
"There is no path that does not meet or cross another path."

>>19412762
True. Early on I became very naive and I wasn't always realistic about my expectations.

>>19412774
I don't really bother hiding it I just don't bring it up at all around people who don't care. Around people who are religious or spiritual I can pretty much talk about anything /x/ tier as long as I'm cautious and patient. I don't really bother anymore.