incarnations of gods

i wouldn't call myself an incarnation, seems like a presumptuous self important term to use when it comes to something i don't understand

but i had a calling dream (my ex gf's term for it) visitation dreams, memories from a ritual etc that all involve dionysus on a deep level

it's all strange, but i can't figure out what i think of it just yet...idk

my ex told me it made perfect sense, but she also went sort of crazy (not exaggerating, she blamed me...a lot of women in my life tell me i make them crazy, they love me,but then they say that to me... she started taking a lot of drugs,talking a lot about suicide, calling me up and just yelling at me then telling me i was perfect and she loved me, getting jealous of women just standing close to me etc) and told me a lot of things

to be fair to her i wrote some of what she said to me down years before i met her (and that she'd be the one to say it) after a pcp blackout i had on one of my bdays (it was like being outside of my body and in the meditation void but mybodywas clearly working fine because when the blackness faded i was having sex with my fiancee) so she did have insight and taught me a lot but i have a hard time believing in anything

i hope i explained that well, i'm a little high

>>19412435
incarnation AKA your ego is actually an ego of a sleeping god who hasnt woken up to the dream theyre in

>>19412435
>dionysus
i feel exactly what youre saying and its kind of similar to what went on with me involving the figure loki

>>19412466
i think it means "We" had past lives as "them" and the karma is being worked out still and we have to manually work out the last bits and free ourselves of "immortal pasts"

>>19412462

i get the idea, still seems odd to say

my ex found it very significant, and my fiancee (we both dated my ex together, she's technically "our ex") has a hard time accepting any of this kind of thing in spite of the parts of all of this she's shared in

i have a hard time seeing much as significant on a certain level because ultimately i've spent a good deal of my life falling in and out of bad situations without much stability with long drug and alcohol binges and eh

the result of the ritual was strange though, and there was an element of "this will all be repeated" to them... i don't really see how though, and part of me just kind of hopes not because all i really want out of life is to just be away from most people in nature shitfaced and enjoying things

and a good deal of the "memories" involved a lot of heavy occult shit and politics and just... it's complicated

but anyway, i find it hard to feel one way or another about this kind of thing, but i don't have much of a choice other than wait and see what happens

i thought the pcp black out thing was insignificant when it happened until it wasn't, and i never exepected any of that to happen but here i am

anyway i lack much formal knowledge of this kind of thing i've mostly learned from experience, dreams, meditation, drugs, sex, and women... and a little through music, but that one's strange and sort of like a musical equivalent to auto writing and not much else

>>19412466

care to share your story?

i'm ultimately still trying to figure out where i stand on a lot of things, but i've been a little lazy about it honestly

just busy recovering from heroin addiction with alcohol weed and life right now

>>19412351
Jesus. Buddha. Shiva. Odin. Aphrodite. Thoth. Hera. Baron Samedi. Ganesha. Lucifer. Some archangels. Krishna. Gaia. Eris. Apollo. Minerva.
It's become quite interesting balancing it all.

I'm pretty sure Baal or Marduk. I was definitely some great thinker or story teller. It freaked me out. Maybe this is our shot at redemption. I refuse to deny Jesus Christ at this point. I didn't wake from the dream until I accepted him and combined with a soul twin.

Strangely enough, Suetekh. I don't act evil, I've just felt a connection to him that seemed stronger than just fascination.

I'm 1 percent demi god, doesn't matter which one

how do I know this? I used the internet

>>19412351
Aurora

I'd have to say the Archangel Azrael and some God of Mysticism I have yet to discover. I feel a very deep compassion for lost souls and work closely with them. Hell, my girlfriend of 3 years considers herself a lost soul and I know exactly what to say to make her day a little better.

As for being the God of Mysticism, I hear the thoughts of others I have interactions with. That and objects tend to fly off the shelves, literally, when I'm at work. That only happens around me when I'm really calm or happy though.

Ra, easily. had a lover who felt the same draw to Thoth

>>19412873
If you happen to still be in this thread, I had a friend that seemed to be similar to you. He was with a girl who felt like a lost soul as well, but his soul was bound to the daemon Azrael. If this happens to be Caleb, I'd just like to say Kenneth still has Astaroth, Ariel died,I'm now bound to Abaddon, and you're still a lying, psychopathic cunt. If this isn't you, just disregard me. And yes we were all very much attracted to the letter A.

>>19412682
odin, vishnu, and jesus have come to me and showed me that i am to incarnate more as odin and less as loki in my life because loki is the evil trickster within me.

>>19412910
Not that guy, but my name is Caleb. I knew Ariel when she would still talk to me, imo just from what I have seen in the astral plane she didn't die, she ascended.

>>19412602
well ill try to share it in the most logical way i can. a little background, im a very psychically , creativly and artistically gifted guy i think. ive always been good at whatever i wanna do kind of naturally to the point where i used to make people mad. but if i got cocky ever, things would backfire. anyway i grew up in a very bipolar environment with my family and went through enough "suffering" to show me my abilities psychically and wake me at a pretty young age. i was a good kid but i had alot of dark twisted power fantasies and i look back now seeing that alot of my negatives growing up were karma for how i would try and use my mind.

so, i called myself an athiest at a young age, but ended up being a firm believer in the true god, after using psychadelics. heavily. i did more acid and shrooms than all my friends. i stopped doing acid after i had a vision of my futue (ill explain that later) and started doing heroic doses of shrooms. which by the way i dont like the name heroic, id rather call it a shamanic dose. i was always spiritual throughout my childhood and adolesence, even when i considered myself an athiest. through my whole journey with psychadelics and an "awakening" though, i really didnt know what to expect from God, and this would set up the karma for what i would learn.

i kept doing heroic doses incorrectly, 5 g with a fast, but watching a campfire burn down to the end. shamanically this is like a knowledge/purge ritual, my elder shaman i know told me this. so i was doing all these 'heroic' trips and unlocking far more than acid showed me or meditating did ever, and it was blowing my mind how this much mind power was just sitting out there and no one knew.

so going back to my dark thoughts, well, i still had those, and the heroic trips would help me purge those, but i wasnt getting real ego death.. and i was telling many people that i did. more karma bubbling.

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>>19412351

E A Koetting is that you?

>>19413330
continued --
so my father (very odin like guy) was always into spirituality and when he learned i was doing psychs he told me about all the years of ayahuasca work hes done. right away i start to feel all this energy around me, and that kind of went to my head. alot of things went to my head. i have a detailed horoscope from my dad that says in a past life and this one, "mis-use of higher consciousness was an issue and thing to be addressed. this was very correct. i got cocky i was "killing my ego" and acting nicely but deep down i was growing a wierd pleasure fantasy ingnorance life, it was bizzare.

so basically, i did a LOT in the span of about a year , alot of heavy psychadelic and spiritual work with deep intention to try and "know" just, "know" ...............and also smoking a ton of weed (which added alot of dirty clogging energy weed really spiritually doesnt help much and ruins alot i belive if done wrong). after doing all those trips, some with my dad too, and countless other experiences, i wound up leaving for college, on the edge of psychosis because of what i had been shown and how i was failing to integrate it properly.

>>19412808

abrahamic faiths are largely just a tool of government control sprinkled with some philosophy and a little spirituality (which people have on an innate level),a set of moral codes that aren't objective on any level (morals are subjective), and serve little purpose

just read romans 13, it's a government tool to keep people pacified because people in power wish to stay in power

in reality the government is extremely corrupt and civilization is too far removed from nature in some of the wrong ways and a lot needs to be torn down and destroyed so people can rebuild

abrahamic faiths just keep people from doing what's necessary...

that shit's like voting (which is just a pacification and division tool),all of it is to keep people passive and in line

shifts the balance of power in favour of the few even though people have numbers on their side

that's how shit has to be done or you risk power and control, the illusion of shared power is good enough for most people and keeping them divided keeps them from realizing how much power they could have... like in the us the same underlying agenda plays out regardless of who's in office

the president is just a figurehead, the things that change are passion plays

smoke and mirrors over wars, surveillance, militarized police, government corruption, corporate corruption etc

>>19412468

i have memories of a past life,and a lot of it is weird and fucked up... i had a friend look it up,and it all fit nicely into 380-420 ad rome and even the occult rituals and such...

long story

anyway i don't see a point in considering the idea that i'm the incarnation of dionysus somehow... though in the context of some of those memories it's an entertaining idea, but still... just a person

i only partially accept any of this anyway, in the sense that other people have experienced this shit with me

it's actually all been very consistent, and none of it has been wrong so far just things that haven't happened yet, maybe

>>19413370
part 3

my dad taught me about synchronicites and man my life was just turning into a big synchronicity like a cruel joke.

so there i am about to go to college at UBC Okanagan. i dont really want to go but i do it because "oh our son is going to a different country to study and its so beatiful bla bla" it was like a manifested synchronicity of all my desires and evil thoughts since a child trying to kill me i manifested a total 100% aesthetic dream that i was unprepared for (i was psychotic from weed and followed by some serious demons before i left i believe). my dad knew something was up and tried to stop me from going and my mom who isvery kali like had no intention of stopping my crazy american firey left handed path dream i was trapped in. my mom isnt spiritual at all really. only when it benefits her i think... and its funny because thats what my problem can be/was.

anyway , my russian cousin who is pretty athiestic and materialistic and a super deep unawaking incarnation of loki already lives there, and hes the one who taught me how to ski, which is a sport that changed my life and still does and helped me reach enlightenment in many ways. im in kelowna BC now and im ignoring everything in school and just reading this book and meditating and smoking and payig attention to synchronicites everywhere, which were constantly happening. i realize thats where they psychosis was kinda brewing, because eventually the synchronicities would get so intense that i was just fucked i didnt know what the hell to think. and that happened after i finally did one "correct" heroic dose.. that totally fucking changes you. i cant exlpain it but i will try for you.

>>19413426
part 4


so i took 7 grams witha random girl i met the day of the trip and i layed on my back on a big hill looking at the pitch black sky like a cocky fuck. thinking idjust ride it out and be cool to her or others. god showed up , literally shit on me, and flicked me into the waste bin. thats how it felt. i saw how everything i was living was a lie that i manifested from my very childhood. trying to look "cool" was bullied into me and it turned me into a wierd fuck. and i realized that in the middle of a telepathic conversation with that girl where she read my mind and she read the darkest most evil parts where i thought of fucking her after the trip was done. i was a total delusional psycho from all the things i had did and i saw how i had such power and potential but i was like a spiritual psychic neckbeard i dont know how to describe it it just sucked so fcuking bad. i saw and felt the death that i couldve had if i didnt literally wake up. i saw IT man i saw THE TRUTH right there and idk how else to say it i was not a skeptic anymore and i just cried it was fucked up. so much, so fast, and it all almost contradicted all my past experiences. with psychs i mean. i just saw how i was wasting my time and literally just doing black magic basically to manifest things that made me look and feel cool.. ( funny, like loki in the marvel movies i was just being a dick but hiding it well). that legit ego death and heroic trip was a big fuck you from god using my face for me to talk to myself saying that i was wrong that whole time and how much i lied to myself.

>>19412351
You're a kike?

>>19413454
part 5.
so i did the real hero shamanic dose and i start to realize that i am not in the right place at all. i have alot to do spiritually for grounidng and i was off my path completely... i knew this and kept going on my skewed fantasy psycho college boy trip and it got much worse after this. i got really insane. i took one more trip after that one.. the weekend after. and in the forest camping, i communicated with the immortal spirit of loki and saw and felt thor and odin around me. they used the analogy of me watching the marvel movies and thinking i understand what the myths all meant from the movies to tell me that this was how little i knew of what was actually happening and why i had been struggling so much and been so evil. i was making lots of assumptions and based off minimal information i was giving myself a huge spiritual ego. this was the ego of loki, living, dreaming, unconciously, through me. manifesting nothing but pleasure and manipulating the environment pretty much mercilessly. he spoke to me through me, and through the use of the movie character in a vision on my trip, where he said "this form im in here is proof of the hidden agenda trying to hide the truth and keep people trapped in aesthetic illusions and lifestyles" and i faked understanding what it all meant. i felt like the message was that, if i was an incarnation of that movie character, how would i use my powers?for good or bad? but really, i wouldnt know that til i got back home.

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I don't like ego wanking, and I don't necessarily believe in it, choosing to believe, myself, that each of us possesses a unique spark of spirit, but part of me thinks that probably on some level I'm related to the Demiurge.
My main and perhaps faulty reasoning for this is that many images of Sophia look like my mother and symbols that usually follow the Demiurge around (sun, moon, stars) always tend to look an awful lot like my last name. Also, I tend to fancy myself a "creator," of sorts, having always fantasized about making a world outside of this reality, although I never have quite seen myself as an "almighty god," to my creations, or had any delusions that would come close to that regarding my actual life.

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Jesus answered them, “Is it not written in your Law, ‘I said, you are gods’?

>>19413467

is this website theirs?>>19413339


there is your answer, their forums are worse than x

>>19413502
part 6


after that trip i went totally batshit becase that trip was the strangest experience ever. the synchronicites and music and forest and thunder was ridiculous. after that day i thought bill gates would pay me and that i was the 2nd coming of christ. it was bad. i went home, did alot of shitty things and said shitty things, lost alot of friends, went to two mental hospitals, and jail for a night. bad times were had after i unlocked the "truth" which included that i had an ancient spirit awaken within me. well for 5 months or so i go through some more personal hell and meds for a little bit, and eventually crawl back to my power animals and spiritual practice without drugs and i start to get positive again. no more delusions. i forget about the loki and odin thing but it keeps coming back.

more synchronicites and things happen and im hanging out with the kids in middle school who "bullied" me and were all becoming best friends and bonding over a trip to ski in big sky montana. more symbolism and deep synchronicty with skiing and mountains for me. so when im back home i decide to take a small trip on shrooms very low dose, with a friend of mine who is deeply spiritual and feels as an incarnation of odin and others. the trip is very calm and we talk about the mythology of norse alot. he knows it well, not like me. i lied that i did because i watched movies lol. anyway. he tells me basically that loki is the norse devil almost, and kills their "equivalent of jesus". that comes in heavy. i didnt know that. at all. i thought he was just a mean guy with powers but not a totally evil dude. i pictured him like the movie and moved on padding my ego still even after being in and out of psychosis and barely getting out of the hospital. right there i realize all my evil thoughts, all my darkness, all the things i gave into, was sort of just who i was, unconciously and with my ego.

>>19413532
so i saw how bascially i was an incarnation of god and odin and all the things i felt, but i was giving into mental masturbating of my ego. i wanted to feel like a god but i am not a god. i am humble enough to have my third eye and let god look through mine and thats it. i have my abilites and i can use them with love but i didnt in the past i forced alot on myself.. and others..

my ego was so vicuios that, like my friend told me, would bring about a great war or kill someone like christ. and i did some fucked up disrespectful things alot actually, expecially when i thought i was living christ. im lucky to be alive desu. loki awakeing was me "low key awakening my inner norse devil" i would say. my shaman told me alot that lined up with what i discovered.

anyway im high lol and my typing is poor so ill try to summarize. i was a nice but cocky fuck growing up and even though i had humility mentally i was really full of myself. when i finally figured out how to release myself it was too late and i had given away too much control to the spells and things i manifested without real preperation. i learned what i wanted but got a little fucked up by the karma i was denying and learned that my feeling of being a god and loki as a positive were just real inner darkness. i kept saying oh im on the left handed path he he!! to be cool and sophisticated but i didnt know what i was getting myself into. thats a good mental image there to describe the craziness of it all.

i learned and got back to being a better person because i see now the parallels in everything and realize i jsut gotta respect what i was shown. i am not THE anyone , i am just me. but Odin (god) knows hes loki (the devil), but loki doesnt know hes odin i dont think. i certainly didnt before all that crazy shit. so yea. im good now though. i have an amazing gf, good job/apprenticeship made more peace with family again, still follow my passions, and will return to a school soon maybe.

>>19413574
so yea i learned alot really fast and if really fucked me up for a minute. im 19. all that happened at 18. the first time i smoked weed was like a few yrs before that and my first psych was shrooms the winter before turning 18. it was a very condensed trial by fire left handed path part of my life and im glad its done with that shit. i am learing to slow down and enjoy my life and not get ahead of myself. because when i do and my ego gets going, i can be.. low key... devilish and not godly as i try to be. godly used as in, being my TRUE higher self.

>>19413587
so tl;dr was an athiest then changed my mind and then did too much psychs in a year unlocked too much , spoke to god but i couldnt handle it and wound up dropping out of college in 3 weeks of arriving and having to start myself all over again and my "dream" i had in life and just get my shit together once and for all. i had what i would call a rude awakening but now im awake in the dream and ive never felt better. i love you all.

>>19413622

sorry i'm going to read all of it, it's just that my fiancee is off from work today and i felt like fucking before the high wore off to be blunt about it

i'm about to drink, but i'll read all of it

i was heavy into buddhist philosophy before all this, but agnostic after being raised catholic

>>19413587

not entirely like my experiences

my mother looks at her pregnancy with me as some weird spiritual experience because my grandmother died right before my parents found out she was pregnant and she dreamt of my grandmother throughout the pregnancy

she had a miscarriage before me and dreamt my grandmother told her things were fine and would tease her about knowing what i was and so on

anyway, my grandmother had been obsessed with greek and roman mythology and the occult, so my mother's way of introducing her into my life was through that kind of thing, but never in depth

i knew nothing about dionysus for a long time

i was raised catholic and didn't believe at a young age, made catholic school hard i was always in some shit over that

i had weird dreams, out of body experiences etc when i met my fiancee when we were kids we had this immediate connection, like we'd known each other forever, she felt like home

when we were 18 we went to rome, i said it felt like i had been there before and that it looked different somehow, new...felt like i couldn't get lost and i didn't in spite of wandering the streets at night drunk (i always get lost) i told everyone about it and all the deja vu, but wrote it off like everything else

22nd birthday i had that pcp blackout, and years later we met our ex and all that autowriting happened

my ex did a past life ritual (i don't get into them with most people, lot of parallels and other shit,accurate rituals and so on), taught me third eye meditation, taught me bits of other things but mostly i didn't pay attention because her voice was cute and i was high a lot...wish i did

i had a calling dream during that time...following a deer through the woods to a temple covered in vines, inside there were all these wooden statues of women, satyrs, centaurs etc having a party dancing with wine and instruments etc wooden grapes were everywhere mixed with real vines

>>19413904

i woke up after walking up a flight of stairs and standing at the center of a table overlooking everything

the next day i told my ex she taught me how to make an offering, i did and visitation dreams after

i didn't expect anything, that's why i did it

anyway the whole thing was an intense experience that hasn't gone away, but it lessened after a suicide attempt fixed some stuff

i've learned some stuff here and there but i feel like i'm waiting on someone before i can learn anything else

no idea who or when, things just happen

i just kind of see what happens and life is what it is

i'm not sure what to make of any of it,but it's unsettling, especially the memories and things that haven't happened but are supposed to (last time i didn't put weight in that i was extremely wrong, but i still have trouble with this)

guess i'll find out

>>19413587

You are an absolute fucking faggot.

>>19414019

not him, but nothing wrong with faggots

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>>19412351
Saturn incarnate here AMA
>(((29th)))

>>19412351
>thoughts don't belong to us
>Loki

I know you're up to something mind-controlly, but I'm not sure quite what. Back to your hole you go, Quibit! Go on an' git!

I'm Eos. I'm the real Eos.

Kokopelli, Hanuman, Crow, Rabbit, the Wind.

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>>19414083

i usually read with sidereal whole sign, which moves your chart more into sagittarius, but keeps some things in saturn

you have a lot in your 12th house anyway though (my chart is pic related)

>>19412351
>delusions of grandeur: the thread

While it's true that fractions and slivers of gods rest in our egos(as gods are only personifications of different archtypes), it is an enormous leap to assume that you ARE a sleeping god. Or even that gods exist as anything but metaphors for social and environmental phenomena, really.

I jsut want to remind everyone that it's very common for people that are mentally unstable to be drawn to the /paranormal/ and that those same people can often be easily miselead if you can appeal to their interests and bridge gaps in logic.

For example;
>do any of you feel like you are/have found out what god(s) you are incarnate of?

This sentence assumes that you must be some god incarnate because of course you are, right?

> our egos (or these gods egos) are immortalized by the dna we all share and immortalized by the behaviors of our own egos

Assumes that an ego is something that can be stored in your DNA without presenting any evidence that this is true.

Just look out for tricky wording like this is all I'm saying. Never now what's swimming in this pond or what their intentions for you are behind the veil of anonymity.

>>19414158

not really, i don't think i'm an incarnation of dionysus

i've just had a lot of strange dionysus related experiences and whatnot

i just look for excuses to shoot the shit and see where other people stand

>>19414158
Shut up, faggot. If you don't like paranormal, then leave.

>>19414207
Gotcha, m8. Just playing the skeptic and genuinely paranoid. I personally feel a deep kinship with Prometheus and my gf relates to Dionysus as well.

>>19414224
I love you too, even if you are projectile vomit in human form. Don't let that stop you from living your life.

>>19414245
I'm a goddess, faggot. I'll banish you to hell for 1 million years when I get my powers back.

>>19414249
this world is going to be so much fun when everyone has superpowers.

>>19414266
I'm the creator. The first thing I will do when I get my powers back is turn the sky colors and give every entity and god their powers back.

>>19414249
Watch your tongue until then.

>>19414245

i shared some of my experiences here:
>>19412435
>>19412602
>>19413397
>>19413734
>>19413904
>>19413943

but there's more to it, i get the skepticism too

reality is stranger than i can put into words, but i can't commit to any ideas personally

>>19414292
You talk too much and no one gives a shit.

>>19414277
Hey aren't you that dragon I felt bad about killing for The Blades in Skyrim?

>>19414296

their loss

>>19414296
And you have an ugly personality. So, what of it?

I'm genuinely enjoying reading their posts. I actually remember when /x/ was a community interested in sharing stories, experiences and ideas. Now it's just a cess pool of hate and rot. like /b/ but in a different flavor.

>>19414332
You are an insufferable faggot. Go cry to your mommy.

>>19414300
Aren't you always talking about some crazy shit?

>>19414332
And you don't know what kind of personality I have just from one post on an anonymous imageboard, faggot. I am very kind, funny, compassionate, honest, full of integrity, and selfless.

>>19414359
I'll take the bait one mroe time. You are clearly an asshole, regardless of how you rationalize it. Kind people don't lash out at innocents to appease their fragile egos. That's not hard logic to follow.

also
>compassionate
>calls people faggot on the internet
>2+2 always makes 4
enjoy living your lie, anon.

>>19414388
I'm not an asshole. I'm a nice person. So, fuck you, faggot.

>>19414300
Did you break my heart?

>>19414332

it's cool i rub people the wrong way or i don't, is what it is

people just seem to get pissy on here when they assume someone's rp'ing

wish i wasn't... this isn't supposed to end too well for me if all goes the way it should


>>19414359

you showcase it well, though being real people who say shit like what you said about yourself are usually overselling and unaware

like "nice guys" who can't get laid, or the kind of guys whose gfs want to cheat on them with me

just how it works

>>19414405
You're the bad person for saying that. You're a horrible person. Fuck you, douchebag.

>>19414399

it's usually guys who throw that word around who are "straight" but desperately want to experiment

i've had so many of them ask me out at this point, it's easy to spot the repression

>>19414441

morality is subjective and i never claimed to be "good" it's just a word anyway

don't care if you think i'm a douchebag, glass houses and all that right?

why so pissy anyway? need to get laid or have a drink or something?

Idk some kind of goblin

>>19414480
I'm the biggest shitposter on this website. I've been shitposting for over 11 years, so fuck off, faggot.

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>>19412351
that's been an integral part of my spiritual journey, trying to figure out the origin of my soul

as soon as I could begin verbalizing as a small child I was preternaturally eloquent and very quickly was talking like a little adult. my mother says I made constant reference to past lives I had lived, sometimes with my mother herself in another life

always the earliest life I could recall was as an angel, which is interesting as my mother is a hereditary/solitary who primarily works with angels in her craft

as an adult, I learned that my conception, between two military intelligence agents (my father a remote viewer) was likely an experiment

I have reason to believe that the occult elements of my family and/or their superiors were trying to create a Moonchild scenario

I was exposed to SRA, possibly Monarch programming and have an angel alter called "Serenity" that was very active in my childhood, taking a lot of abuse for me

at around 13 I had an intense dream/vision of an ancient golden moon goddess appearing to save me and my baby sister from her psychotic crackhead father. she appeared and then I became her, my perspective shifting to hers, together as one we proceeded to crush my stepfather's head with our hand

it was a life-changing experience

as I entered into my own pursuit of the craft I have felt at various times to be the very incarnation of various goddesses and prophetic figures, possibly an amalgam of all of them, most usually the Whore of Babylon at first, then the Woman of the Apocalypse, then Sophia

while I was being experimented on in the last couple years, my identity seemed to rest as an angel in the space between the Whore on Earth and the Woman on the Moon, connecting them in a triad

the reason for this is that it is too psychologically straining to "accept" myself as the ultimate Goddess and I bear in mind that this may all just be programming, though it does feel spiritually resonant

>>19414511

well that's nothing to brag about, terrible way to ask for a bj too

>>19414552
I want a bj. =(

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>>19414539
lately I've become interested in the obscure "Virgin of Light" figure, who is said to be an important angel, possibly an incarnation or emanation of Sophia, who resides within the Moon and judges the souls of mankind, but not before assigning souls to their destinies/bodies, even reincarnating the same souls repeatedly

this builds into my matrilineal connection to the cult of Ananke, primordial goddess of fate and also my intense lunar connection seen in my actual family crest

she also distributes holy seals which is connected to be my affinity for sigils

I think she's the best candidate for my "original form" if I am indeed a/the Moonchild

>>19414564

come over and bring drugs then

>>19414552
You're fucking awesome, anon. If I had the brofist jpeg saved, I'd post it rn

>>19414400
I think so but you wouldn't admit it. You took it very nobly, actually. Respek

>>19414606
>a/s/l?

>>19414579
I have had a few experiences where I have met the goddess Sophia. Once I asked her if she was the only goddess Sophia, and she told me that there were multiple emanations of the Sophia archetype. Just wondering if you sing often in your dreams?

>>19413315
Oh dang my bad, I meant Aziel. I only am familiar with the Disney princess Ariel. Aziel was an angel I was bound to until I bound the now fallen Abaddon to me. They fought and he killed Ariel, then he fell fully.

>>19414633
XD

>>19414681
I saw her about a week or two ago. Death in a dream doesn't really mean a whole lot if you don't have identity tied to a specific body or timeline.

I don't really know an Aziel, I found an Azriel she had the Azriels blade I used it to banish some wasp demon lol.

>>19414702
Haha, nice. Aziel was one of the 72 angels of heaven, and more often than not heaven just copies and pastes what the old Az was like to his replacement. My friend Kenneth is probably to blame for the wasp demon, Astaroth is a prince of hell but he's just in charge of tossing the little guys up here pretty much.

>>19414729
And I want to add, yes there are more than 72 angels but these are the ones that are not seraphim and just guard the souls in heaven.

>>19414729
By Kenneth do you mean Asharana? Are you Apsu? One of those starseeds.net people lol? Last time I saw angels it was a fire dude fighting some guys who looked like anime angels. Its been a pretty strange journey lately.

>>19414747
I cannot say I am, sorry. My soul was changed into a kinda Frankenstein nephilim by Ariel to keep me alive, that's the only way I'm different from anyone else. Kenneth just sold his soul. I did too, but I got mine back thanks to Osiris. Also I apologize for taking forever, I steal my neighbors wifi and it's still slow.

>>19414633

thanks and there's my chart >>19414155

i don't live in the city anymore though

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>>19414666
>sing often in your dreams?
not usually, typically in my dreams I am flying and constantly exploring a vast expanse of never-ending palaces, castles, cathedrals, though if I fly high enough above the architecture I can see beautiful landscapes of nature, green fields, trees, mountains, even bodies of waters though they're clouds at the same time, hard to describe

it's like a world suspended in the heavens

I just wander aimlessly, though I do come across treasure hordes of trinkets and books with swirling arcane words that I collect

I do encounter people occasionally, but avoid them typically, it's as if I have to hide my powers and lose a lot of my mobility when I'm around them, especially if they notice me

people have talked to me before and even told me that they are actual people on Earth lucid dreaming/astral projecting

every once in a while I do sing though, for no reason, and I'm trained in real-life but in my dreams my singing is just perfect, exactly how I'd want to express myself, it's like my voice creates music to go along with it, I can feel my astral body, my diaphragm and lungs and vocal cords actually moving very viscerally

the multiple emanations of an archetype idea makes sense to me, especially compounding archetypes, like the dichotomy of the Virgin/Whore synchronizing into one Goddess

>>19414787
Oh god our family is so messed up isn't it. I have plenty of problems myself, but they seem pretty tame now. Good to know you are ok, whomever you are.

>>19414801
Ah ok I was wondering if you were the same Sophia that I know, but she also tends to change into different people somehow.

I get what you mean about other people dampening the freedom you have within a dream.

I want to see so many places too, I sometimes find some amazing ancient ruins or tombs that have strange magic. I met another sorcerer in a dream recently, I wonder if I will encounter him again.

Music to me in a dream is quite wonderful, because I can say things in ancient languages that I would never be able to cognitively comprehend or understand. The words just flow and create magic.

>>19414807
Haha, don't worry. I'm fine. I wish the same to you Caleb. And make peace with Christ. It's never too late until your soul isn't yours anymore.

>>19414801

and here i am having dreams about killing a baby deer in the woods surrounded by a bunch of women because it trusts me, and ripping a guy's heart out of his chest with my hands then eating it

not the person you're talking to though... and those aren't bad dreams btw, they just felt euphoric

>>19412351
https://discord.gg/PVrZamw

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>>19412435
>all involve dionysus on a deep level
>a lot of women in my life tell me i make them crazy
Dionysus's main followers were women known as Maenads, driven into rapturous roving madness by his very divine presence

something to keep in mind

>>19412602
>a good deal of the "memories" involved a lot of heavy occult shit and politics and just... it's complicated
from the way this is worded it makes me think of things like Ritual Abuse or even occult programming

could there be any chance you were exposed to such things? especially by your family?

red flags being membership in secret societies, especially the Masons, involvement in politics or the military, especially espionage

even just seemingly harmless practices like tea-leaf and tarot reading can be indicators

>>19412910
>>19413315
are you guys actively involved in ritual workings? just curious, I've heard rumors about younger people forming "cults" and binding themselves to demons/angels

>>19413339
I get the weirdest vibe from that guy, the commercialization feels wrong

>>19413426
a guy I dated introduced me to synchronicities, or rather the clear concept of them

he called me his angel on our first date, with no knowledge of the angel stuff from my childhood, I never did tell him even after breaking up

anyways, I'm extremely sensitive to synchronicities, have been my whole life, I can even influence it when I want to but it scares me way too much, like I can encourage more of them to happen, but do it too much and it's like being controlled by them

by chance this summer I moved into a house this summer with an altar to Sophia right on my front porch, wings and serpent and all, by this point I just shrugged when I saw it and decided this is must be where I'm meant to be (my Mom picked the place)

>>19414993
My troubles started when I started trying to work with spirits while on too many drugs. I do rituals sometimes, but nothing really major.Not part of a cult. I do pretty much everything on my own. I used to talk with a Guy who said he was Gabriel and Osiris.

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>>19413510
I relate to a lot of that

my name roughly translated from Irish means Queen Vigilant of Darkness

I used to worry it meant I was "of" the darkness, vigilant in service of it, but now I think it more means I am vigilant against it, and also a "watcher of the stars" which fits into my family crest

imo, the meaning of the Demiurge is that of the Tribe of Dan (the serpent/dragon) acquiring the lineage and leadership of members of the royal House of Judah (the lion)

it represents the old families of Europe and later on their nations (as eagles, another Danite totem, are ubiquitous as national symbols) who will attempt to usurp control from the rightful messiah as the seven headed beast

>>19413904
your family sounds a lot like mine, the Greco-Roman mythology obsession, my great-grandmother died soon after I was born and I was strangely a favorite of hers and there is posed picture of her holding me

my mom thinks I inherited my haughtiness and love of glamour from her

>>19414158
I think it's important to keep a rational base like this to go back to

like I said, I could just be programmed to think I had these past lives

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>>19414826
have you met her in real life?

I do wonder how I look to other people in dreams/the astral plane

when I try to look at myself in reflections, I sometimes just stare for what seems like hours as my reflection shifts into dramatically different forms, like I've gone from an angel, to normal to me, a more ideal me, to literally just Sailor Moon starring at me

>>19414856
I once dated a guy who had a recurring but ultimately temporary dream that he was stuck in an arcane labyrinth in another dimension being hunted by an eldritch monster

it all stopped when he faced it one night and somehow knew to saw a specific word in an unknown language

creeped me out and made me worry about archons visiting me in my sleep

I get what you mean though, the dream where I became the moon goddess and crushed my stepfather's head was visceral and intense, but not scary, it was extremely euphoric and empowering

the goddess came to me into what was actually the last of a recurring ptsd nightmare of mine of my stepfather trying to kill me, my mother, and my sister, which actually happened more than once in real life

I was reliving the episodes but it was worse, my mother was always already dead, and I was holding my toddler sister and trying to get out of our house but it just kept getting bigger and bigger and more twisted and dark

almost every night I would have these traumatic nightmares

the one night, months after my mother divorced my stepfather, I managed to finally break free out of the house into our yard

that's when the goddess came and I finally defeated him

it wasn't even a feeling of revenge or wrath, almost like a serene mercy as I felt my skin burn like acid into his skin and how his skull crushed in my palm like an egg

it does weird me out that after that dream he disappeared

>>19415200
Never saw her in real life. My most wonderful memory of her was she was singing and guiding me further into the astral plane. She was talking about Jesus through her song and all the animals were following her. Another dream I had she was with me and we were falling through what looked like microscopic galaxies until eventually we ended up on earth. She is usually blond I never seem to be able to see her clearly. Mostly I find a white light near that has a feeling that its somehow connected to her.

>>19414993
I am the one who is bound to Abaddon, but no. I never had to perform any rituals in this, the closest I've done was similar to a prayer. Caleb used them to bind Azrael to him and Ariel to me, but never shared them with me, only Kenneth.

>>19415276
I'm using an iPad, I apologize for the autocorrect. I meant Aziel

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>>19415048
entheogens are real and very potent

I'm highly sensitive to cannabis and used it in my workings with Asherah/Freyja (both the same deity in my eyes, both of their cults practiced ritual cannabis use)

I stopped for a while after I tried to connect with my animus/familiar/guardian spirit while high and in a shed on my family's country estate at night

I swear it began to communicate with me through raindrops and the wind, I realized I was communing with the figure many historical witches reported consorting with, a dark masculine force that could control the weather, the Horned God of the old religion

it was so many things, the Devil, the Angel of Death, Pan, Cernunnos, even Wotan and Yahweh/Yaldabaoth, different witches gave it different names but it was always the spiritual King of the Witches come to make a pact, to ask you to be his bride, an incarnation of the Queen of the Witches

it felt so darkly familiar, as if I'd done this so many times in past lives, it was in my DNA through the lives of the witches in my ancestry

it got so intense it gave me visions in the darkness, it's shadow expanded and changed shape

I declined it and thought about King Solomon and called upon the Goddess and the Highest Monad, Barbelo and El Elyon, I focused on my virgin aspect and quickly but smoothly left the shed and did a warding and then dismissal ritual in my room

about a year later I saw the movie The Witch, and it nails perfectly "the Devil's" presence and what it feels like. the director is definitely In The Know
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3dK1tOlRjo

I think there are holy chemicals in plants on this earth that are not meant to be used lightly, chemicals that open the sense to the unseen

>>19415299
I learned to channel Pleiadians and Arcturians, whom both were instrumental in keeping my sanity and humanity. I have had a few experiences with Satan, but I stopped using him for power when he tried to turn my abilities towards harming other spirits I was near. For a while I started channeling Michael, he became my protector and healed some of my self worth issues. I found a connection to my higher self and was able to do some positive work towards the future, but I ended up getting lost along the way again. I always have a familiar presence with me now, but its somewhat mysterious and changes a lot. I can't really give a name. Its always right there in front of me when I remember to look.

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>>19415244
sounds like something I'd do with someone close to me and I'm blonde, but I don't ever remember consciously doing that, like I said I tend to avoid other people

the only person I actively seek out is my ex-boyfriend/former-handler? who initiated me into the government occult system, he's usually very scared to see me but sometimes I don't think he's lucid and he's very happy and we get to pretend he didn't betray me and have a nice date

>>19415276
how did you guys find each other?

>>19414102
trust me im not last thing i want is to control

>>19414158
just one thiing i wanna add is i think all humans are some kind of sleeping god and that earth is a hell for all these sleeping beings of higher capability. idk how to put a lot of these thoughts into words and i agree tricky wording sucks i am vague alot in some of the things i say typed out.

>>19414993

well that's the thing all of them love me, they just start getting mad at me for things like not talking to them all day every day, or being too calm, not being jealous

every woman i've ever gotten close to has told me she's in love with me at some point, some guys too (straight guys tend to initially hate me though)

then they start getting weird, and eventually i get worn down and i'm an asshole to them they flip their shit tell me they think i'm horrible and then they love me again after and want to forget the whole thing then they go on about how i'm perfect

when i see them with other people they don't get like that so i'm inclined to believe it must be me on some level,and they're telling me the truth when they say it's my fault, but i have no idea what i do

it always starts out as fun and then that happens

there's a lot of politics in the memories, and military, among other things you listed... they're mostly clear, aside from a lot of drug and alcohol use (which i can say about this life too, i've taken drugs and i've been drinking for more than half my life so i guess that's just what i do) and all the feeling is still attached (it was deeper before some shit happened, now it's there but dull)

i don't talk about that side of the memories to anyone at this point, i did that first year when it was intense like reality just fell apart and all i had was my fiancee and our ex to talk to about it because they had memories too... later a friend who remembered a couple of things (and i felt like i owed her an explanation), and one i remembered

anyway i tried to kill myself (not just because of that, it just didn't help) and then that didn't work out so i drowned myself in alcohol and my fiancee instead, pretended it never happened, and then things got easier

then i got sick and it got even easier

anyway there's... a lot of that in them, and yes it was family and a lot more people than that really

>>19414539
pretty interesting.

i feel like theres a weird metaphysical like, eyball heirarchy. god has all the gods so that it can love itself through different kinds of beings and consciousnesses. you being a pair of eyes for her to live through again is what i feel if the intentions are right in your life.

>>19415373
He used to go to my high school, me and Kenneth play football. We all had a fascination with the supernatural, and Caleb just gave us a way to get in touch with it. Everything he did was full of lies, so once he changed schools, we cut him out of our lives. He's a psychopath, he manipulated girls, and he lied about his limits. Me and Kenneth are still close friends, we also have a friend who practices magick but he's unimportant to this thread.

>>19415373
Me and her used to be quite close 4-5 years ago. We drifted apart as the years went by, It seemed to me that she was able to move on in her life yet I was not able to follow.

Luckily I was able to avoid the government programming, I just keep a low profile and stay off the radar for the most part.

>>19415073

they were more obsessed with catholicism to be honest, it was just something my mother gave me and not my brothers because of her pregnancy

i was raised fairly catholic though, and mostly by that i just mean physically forced to go to church and sunday school every sunday until they put me in catholic school because they thought it would make me better behaved

i was really terrified of churches as a kid though, the incense used to give me panic attacks but i don't know why

>>19415200

i dreamt about one of my aunts dying and her shitshow memorial early holiday afterward was going to happen, before she was even in the hospital

my mother yelled at me when i told her about it, and got weird

and i've had dreams where i've spoken to people and they dreamt something similar

then there's deer dreams, garden dreams, sleep paralysis shit, and then the occasional thing of that nature where it's violent

most of my dreams feel like the void, like when you meditate and it's all just this lucid black space where everything exists within nothing and you dissolve into all of it

there was one reoccuring dream i had after this past life ritual my ex did without my consent

i had it for 3 days starting the night she did it, i was on an empty beach that stretched on forever in both directions while the tide came in at sunset

on the first day there was a turtle in the sand there with me and the tide was strong but didn't come near me

the second day the tide came closer,the turtle was gone, and in its place was an old looking stringed instrument with a peacock carved into it

and on the third day the tide swept me away and there was a tiger on the beach

after that the memories started, didn't dream them though

>>19415373

my ex told me a story about how she was part of some psychic ability experiment she got paid for

i mostly just remember her telling me i would hate it because they put something disgusting in her hair that was hard to get out and how crazy that would drive me

i haven't thought about that in a while...

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>>19415364
where I grew up in Texas it was surrounded by Satanists and they were constantly trying to get me to fall in line and hail Satan and "willingly" make a pact

maybe I really am an angel, but I just can't, it's not in my nature, I can't help but rebel, especially when I think about the children who suffer and die everyday

they put me through the ringer and even forced me into a citywide Babalon working, but I still rebuke that darkness, it's just chaos, it's the call of the void to just destroy everything

when I told my mom about the shed incident she recommended Michael to me, I've used his name in sigils but haven't done so directly

calling on specific angels just feels weird to me

I do feel there is something protecting me, perhaps a group of forces protecting me, Ananke to show me the crucial signs and synchronicities, El Elyon to supercharge me with holiness, Sophia to calm my nerves and look inward for wisdom, etc.

>>19415399
it sounds like you have an energy about you related to the Sacrificial God archetype, like Dionysus, Osiris, and Christ etc.

you have a personality that draws people in but eventually makes them want to betray you, perhaps based on jealousy

>>19415401
I think I get you, it's like, I went up the ladder from the Whore of Babylon, to her purer higher form as the Woman of the Apocalypse, metaphorically going from riding the dragon on Earth to standing on the Moon

>>19415402
I wish I had more occult experiences in school, the closest I had was in middle school with a girl named Fantasia I tried to start a coven with. we only got as far as trying to decide which Tower we wanted to call

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>>19415418
>I just keep a low profile

yeah, I wish that had been an option for me but they had me from before day one, pretty certain my parent's marriage was arranged to unite bloodlines

>>19415436
my family aren't openly occult, nominally they're Catholic and my aunt is actually a nun

from what I've seen though the Vatican is completely corrupted/infiltrated and pagan in all but name

my aunt also worked for the UN and is pretty influential, I think that was her designed purpose in the Church

>>19415445
they do recruit people, like they did with MK-ULTRA, but I was born into the program

my mother was attacked by a dog a few days before she gave birth to me and she knows it was not an accident and we both agree it was to program both of us, to reinforce her programming, and to activate my fear hormones and traumatize me in-utero

also my last name sounds similar to "dog-gone", everything is insanely symbolic for these people

>>19415457

you saying that just made me think of two things (aside from everything i've already said about dionysus)

my ex told me once to ask for a sign during meditation, so i figured why not? and did and a deer interrupted everything by chewing on the garden door (my bedroom goes out to a garden), after that deer dreams (including the dionysus calling dream i had) and deer turning up in my life at significant moments, i have a few wild deer who have come over to me and visit every day one of them knows her name and lets me pet her, another brings her babies over to me etc

anyway i mentioned it on here, and someone brought up that archetype being associated with deer

aside from that my ex was really into astrology and said charts matter, >>19414155

the fixed stars in mine (there's more than what it says ) nunki and ascella on mars, acamar on the north node too, merga on venus/ascendant (seginus and mufrid are on my ascendant too), dubhe on mercury and so on

everything except saturn has a fixed star

anyway, they paint a picture that's not pretty either, neither do the memories

said it earlier in here, if everything goes the way it did and is supposed to... it doesn't end well for me, it ends as best as it can but it's still not good

>>19415516

i have people in my family who practice/believe on both sides, but in my immediate family not really

one of my uncles is a deacon, i have another who works for the un

that's true about the vatican most likely, behind closed doors because abrahamic faiths are better for maintaining power and control

ultimately i'm just a nobody though, i've been homeless before, i've barely existed in the world the way most people have, been on and off drug binges and through a couple addictions etc

i doubt i register to people

>>19415583
Well, in my experience not having any attachments to other people can make certain magic easier. You have less weighing you down and less peoples expectations keeping you from altering your personal reality.

>>19415631

i have deep attachments, just not many and even less than that matter a lot to me

DNA isn't immortality.

>>19415631

what do you mean btw? i know some things, but i don't really practice on any deep level aside from things just kind of happening and learning about some stuff my ex was interested in

about a year after she did the ritual she started taking a lot of uppers, talking a lot about suicide etc she disappeared pretty much, the last time we spoke she told me she loved me and would find me when shit happened (she didn't say what), and the last time i heard anything from her were a bunch of missed calls on valentine's day followed by a call that was just static when i picked up

i was told by a friend that the ritual she did was essentially the equivalent of "tearing me open and leaving me to bleed out all over the astral plane" whatever that means

took me a while to put my head back together enough to function after that, like i said the suicide attempt helped so did a long run with chronic illness

as far as attachments go though i mostly just have my fiancee, and we share those memories (we were in similar positions then,though my fiancee doesn't have a connection to dionysus... waiting to see how the connection they do have plays out, since my fiancee lives in this sort of state of denial but accepts things on some level because of me) and we've tried things together so it's different

my family is open to the occult since it's just sort of accepted on both sides and practiced somewhat (not with much depth from what i know, i'm disconnected from much of my family) particularly if i say something, but i've only done anything in that regard with my fiancee and our ex

mostly sex and blood related, because it's a comfortable area for me (my fiancee and i have always done shit like drink each other's blood and shit sometimes)

the bond we have together goes back really far and we're deeply attached; can't avoid or separate from each other

when either of us have hit a point where that's even been a thought everything else goes wrong and we end up together

>>19414993

if you're still around i'd like to talk to you ([email protected] ... i made the email while really drunk so it's spelled wrong) what you said about ritual abuse and all of that really... it's weighing on me heavy and i can't get it out of my head

i don't want to really get into it, especially not here... i haven't really with anyone who hasn't experienced it through memories, because it's a lot... and it's complicated

and it's driving me crazy because you called it too well, so if you're around i just... idk, i guess i'll share some of it,maybe you have insight

i'mm a littke drunk and high so i'm just... rambling, but it's... those memories are all just... i can't here

but it wasn't free masons it was 380-420 ad (the life i remember was around 27 years,but the time frame a friend could narrow it down into was 40) in rome, and there's a lot of parallels and just... i don't like anyof it,i keep telling myself it's impossible and won't happen again, can't the way it did

groomed for it then... it's fucked up, and you seem to know some shit

but part of the memories were about repetition on some level (i'm supposed to die the same, which sucks enough, though i don't see how... i'm nobody) and i just

if it's shit like that too, i can't even