the tale of pookie

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Tell it

>>19391788
Why not just do the tale if it's oc

okay

tooth one: pookie wanted bread

pookie is at grandma's cabin and his stomach talk for bread: "mm, i want bread." pookie gets so so pissed when his stomach make talk and so he goes upstairs to the attic and walk around, pull on the light string. he find treasure box. he open and it is not just filt with dirt. there is one photo... want to see or no?

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Do tell

DO IT, just DO IT! Don't let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday, you said tomorrow. So just. DO IT! Make. your dreams. COME TRUE! Just... do it! Some people dream of success, while you're gonna wake up and work HARD at it! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!You should get to the point where anyone else would quit, and you're not gonna stop there. NO! What are you waiting for? ... DO IT! Just... DO IT! Yes you can! Just do it! If you're tired of starting over, stop. giving. up.

>>19391811
fag

>>19391806
Show us.

>>19391806
So far so good pookeh, make us wait and you'll lose the punchline

please tell

>>19391923
He abandoned the thread when I needed a paranormal laugh considering the other laughs are now hollow from spending so much time in paranormal land. Sad

okay

tooth two: grumpy granny

he find a old photo of granny in attire and she is so grumpy.

"what the hell and fuck could this be in here?" he think with his lips out loud (and in lips in head; the brain wrinkles with which he pushes thoughts)

suddenly, granny walk in through creaky doorway in the attic of the cabin and oklahoma and start sharing a shortass story.

"i know you find my slightly distrubing picture in the treasure box in the attic, and it's just good you didn't find my juicy pleasurewand. but there are many things you dont understand pookie, and two of those things are below the border in the belly button in mexico. i was rape by bananaman when i was little, and this was the rapecause of my grumpy. rape charge is not a fun ticket. anyways..."

pookie start sweating and looking for a way out.

he have to get to belly button land...

thou whost role a 54 (pookie's favorite number) decides if pookie escapes

>>19391960
Roll for no escape

>>19391989
>reroll

>>19391818
I don't know but i know who are you: you're BANNED

>>19391960
It might be the alcohol but I'm laughing my ass off

boooooring

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>>19392006

roll my drunken wad and see where upon you land

>>19392014
Henry Rollins

>>19391806
>>19391960
This smells like british humour. Are you british OP? Are you a Mr. Bean impersonator?

I think I missed it rollll

okay

tooth three: missing penis

it has been many mintues since pookie remembered to ask you to roll, and instinctively he reach for his penis (to cock off for pleasure). his penis is fortunately metric, and he inserts it into a belly roll penetratively and with a black man's authority. he creams.

Granny screeches a mighty bit and her bob falls out.

Perfect opportunity! Pookie rips his fucking cock out of his own fat and bolts for the creaky door, pummeling down the stairs (balls bobbing) and into the oklahoman corn fields. he reads for what feels like twenty minutes. but which is actually twenty four minutes.

he fucking busts his ass on a hatch.

"fuck"

"fuck not because of the pain, but because this corn door is locked"

"help me find the key... post pictures of a key and we will try to find the key to the lock together..."

(ghosts approach)

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>>19392064

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>>19392064

3...2...1...

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>>19392136
Omg

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tooth four: corn's queef

"FUCK! these shitty keys didn't fucking work!"

*chuck cricks slips up and out of the corn's sand*

"That corn door has refused you its hole! SO PREPARE YOURS!"

[rape spoilers: pookie gets raped]

pookie starts to fucking run through the corn as fast as his legs will let him run through corn, but the corns are fucking mexican dicks and keep tripping him and whipping him...

meanwhile chuck cricks (pictures) keeps chasing him and talking:

"you fucking stole my little brother's wario land 4 casette! he can't play it on game boy!" why have you done this!"

[first person to post a picture of shoes gives the shoes to pookie, if they are good enough he can escape the rape]

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>>19392148
Try these on, Pookie.

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>>19392148
Godspeed

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>>19392176

okay

tooth five: inter blackman

Pookie slips on a pair of Keens he finds.

"fuck these are two tight"

[Chuck's inner monologue: hehehe i'm going to bust this boy's fucking hole with my pogo popper, the fucking tastebuds in his asshole are going to be scraeming like angry apes and banging fucking ass gongs, he's going to be so fucking pissed and regret the day he ever fucking played nintendo]

chuck's outer monologue: "get fucked"

and the keen's are too tight....

the world is all sepia toned and going dark and pookie's fucking jaw hits the motherfucking ground... the corn is all laughing as chuck approaches... this is so fucking gay....

"Ay, what the fuck is that?"

enter, Blackman Rayman NoArm Rayman who fucking Changed his name to Pete in 2010

"yall muhfuckin white boys wearin keens?"

Chuck fucking leans over and whispers to pookie: i've never trusted a black man and i'm really scared, i'm sorry i was going to rape you, it was mostly going to be a joke rape, but i fucking am scared, please forgive me

Blackman Rayman: "YALL CUH ME COOKIE!"

pookie looks at this towering cornfield negro who is lanky as dick, looks over at chuck crick's creepy ass face... fingers his own asshole in an act of preservation, for he was not raped...

pookie to pookie: i can trust blackman, i can trust chuck, or i can trust myself...

[insert three quarters ton conitnue]

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>>19392246

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Will this work?

posting in epic bread

I know this is lolsorandom shit but have you ever considered writing anything serious? You have a way with prose. Reminds me of Pynchon.