I love the idea that there are things that man was not meant

>>19383342
It's how psychosis feels to me.
Starts of with me feeling enlightened and in contact with divine forces.
I can still function normally and no one suspects a thing.
Truths get revealed to me in these months that are too paradox, too vast for my mind to handle.
My mind starts to deteriorate to the point where it literally crashes and I even become catatonic in the end, when everything shuts down.

So yeah, definitely possible, also >inb4 just a mental illness, if you'd been through this shit you would have to at least consider that most possibly there's much more to it than just "too much dopamine in your brain" and nothing more. But meh, I won't say I really know what was going on back then, cause I don't. Strangest stuff that ever happened to me, but in a sense, most real thing I've ever experienced too.

monitoring

>>19383342
Thanks for explaining "pic related" in advance even if it's not related to your post.

I wish more people would do that. It's a nice habit and answers inevitable questions in advance

>>19383370
While working at a mental hospital you do get to hear a lot of what the patient is able to speak or see their artwork. Most of the time it is absolute inane mental diarrhea. Sometimes there are more coherent expressions that are just the news and some books amalgamated into something of a persecution fantasy. On two occasions I saw weird shit. One was seeing a heat shimmer go down a hall and into a room which the patient shortly afterwards exited screaming the devil raped him. The other was a kid who swore up and down that children in the upstate New York/western mass area are kidnapped and sacrificed (2015 for timeframe)

>>19383342
Made me go crazy. After seeing so many truths I tried to make sense of it all. Also became a magnet for UFO and demonic activity. I just gave my life to Christ as a result. I've been good ever since I just tell myself it's all bullshit stick with Christ

Practitioners of chaos magic are kind of infamous for being mentally unstable. Some people argue that's just because mentally unstable people are more likely to be interested in magic, though.

>>19384665
Maybe it looks like inane mental diarrhea because our normal minds have no frame of reference to make sense of it. Or something.

>>19384988
Sentence fragments with no discernable purpose past expressing past trauma or genetic error. And even then it comes with cognitive deterioration and lots of drugs. Not saying your guess is impossible but if you are right mental illness is more horrible than we suspect

>>19383342

I think there's some fantastic elements in universe we simply can't grasp. To protect ourselves from the thought of being dumb meat sacks, we declare such information "forbidden".

>>19383342
greetings

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Of course it's possible. The necessary information isn't even esoteric. Go to /pol/!

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>>19383342
Careful what you wish for.

>>19384752
Goode work

>>19385546

This. The closest you can get to the horrific truths of the Necronomicon is knowing about the fucking Jews and their endless parasitical tricks.

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>>19385985
So UFOs & demons did not like it at all when he investigated things. And anon has peace now that he stopped the investigations.

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>>19383342
this is basically the reason veteran occultists warn neophytes about opening their third eye (activating their pineal gland) and/or attempting contact with spirits

not only can you see the invisible entities, but they can see you seeing them, drawing their attention

members of my family have been spiritually sensitive for countless generations, myself included, but shit didn't hit the fan for me until I dove headlong into chaos magick and tried to summon/create my own aeon/animus

I ended up with a shadow man following me around who would eventually claim to be the angel of death, the Devil, and the Demiurge

the OP pic is disturbing because it looks pretty much exactly like my eyes (down to the exact color, blue with a gold corona) when last year I looked in a mirror and saw the Demiurge/demon/whatever inside my pupil and decided to concentrate and "burn" the fucker out of there

it looked like a heavily mutated human, with arms that were too long and bent at the wrong angles, it's face was beastly and furrowed like a lion's and had stringy hair

anyways, by focusing on my left eye where it was hiding, the pupil immediately dilated and I swear to god I could *feel* a salty burning sensation and actually *see* the edge of my iris begin to disintegrate into the pupil, even talking about it now I can feel my left eye burning

it seems to have worked and I haven't had any issue with that thing since. to this day my left iris is still slightly frayed though it seems to be healing. I have a theory that is actually how Bowie got his wonky eyes (they weren't a different color, one pupil was just always dilated independently from the other) rather the cover-story of damaging them in a fight

looking back, that thing may have been implanted in me at some point, conception/pregnancy/birth/childhood, by my family which is dominated by generational Luciferian occultists, binding demons being routine throughout the life of a "bloodliner"

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>>19384665

>swore up and down that children in the upstate New York/western mass area are kidnapped and sacrificed

it is standard procedure for victims within the ritual abuse system utilized by the criminal occult network to be institutionalized, it instantly neutralizes their claims into the "ravings of a psych ward patient", especially in a court of law

when one of the mothers of the victims of the McMartin preschool scandal/fiasco refused to relent she was targeted for harassment, unknowingly dosed with psychedelics, and then hospitalized, completely breaking her mind and ability to act as an advocate for her child and a witness at the trial

it's so routine as to be a key course of action in their playbook and they've infiltrated the mental health care system to the point that their are entire wards and even certain clinics staffed entirely by members of the underground system

It has already happened numerous times, these are the more obvious people. Georg Cantor, Ludwig Boltzmann, Kurt Gödel and Alan Turing.

>>19383342
That's actually how I feel before i have a seizure. It starts with a simple thought that doesn't really have a specific meaning, but then suddenly I start concentrating on a specific sentence that all of a sudden starts to mean a lot to me emotionally or fundamentally.

>>19383342
Fire was the first, no?

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>>19383370

>tfw you understand the feeling of "if you'd been throught this shit"

>>19383342
happened to tesla

>>19383342
I like it too but I don't think it's real.

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>>19383370
I've been through a psychosis too and that pretty much sums it up, it feels like you've won the lottery at first, but then you start guessing, trying so hard to figure it out that you get so tangled up and end up crashing. I also thought I was in contact with divine forces, two to be exact, and I had to please them and try to balance them, I couldn't react to it or it'd give it away. Pretty scary stuff.

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>>19383370
>>19386389
forget your fears and just accept, fear is your own construct, feel your eyes swelling up...

>>19383342
It's possible. It's hard to describe but it goes something like this for me: 1. I get the idea in my head that I might as well be the only real person. 2. I get a constant string of feedback from my surroundings, strengthening that idea. 3. The idea reaches critical mass and my perspective collapses under its weight. 4. I wake up with a bugged memory.

This chain of events happened 3 times, following the same exact pattern. But the last time it happened, I could prevent myself from collapsing. It was because I was with my parents then, instead of being alone. When literally everything looked like a dark blur, I could still see them clearly. They were the only signals in the room that could convince me of their reality, separate from my own.

Even though they were terrifying, I'm thankful for those experiences, especially the last time. The idea that I'm 'The One' acted like a poison in my brain. The memory that my parents were still real and completely themselves in my darkest hour works like an antidote.
.

Yes & Yes. Ignorance is Bliss.

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>>19383342
This is literally what LSD is, anon.
It enlightens you until it drives you insane, and everyone had a different limit.

>>19386305
Truth.

>>19386305
For me it got especially weird with all the girls disappearing in the same area this spring/summer