Pagan religious experiences?

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Used to jump around when I lived in the desert the old Gods are a lot of fun.

>>19365691
how is that what I asked?...

i've experienced weird things my entire life, but i was able to ignore them for a long time

that changed 5 years ago, but it's hard to really pinpoint an exact time because like i said it goes back further than that

it's just that that's when i saw the results of a pagan ritual (i didn't believe it would have any, though i didn't consent, it was meant to be anyway according to other experiences) and when i had a calling dream (from dionysus) and visitation dreams after that

the ritual was done by an ex of mine, it was a past life ritual (that ties into the calling dream, and a lot of other things), and before i even met her during a pcp high i blacked out and ended up writing about her

it even goes deeper than that, but that's one area of my life i can pin point

i had been smoking laced weed, and i ended up experiencing a lot of really bad deja vu, i don't remember what happened after i lost it just everything going black

when i came out of it, it was like waking up from a dream or coming out of the void during meditation; even though it didn't feel like it was in my body i was in the middle of having sex i clearly initiated

afterward i was freaked out, tried to write to calm myself down, but instead i started auto writing

at the time i wrote it off, but 5 years ago i couldn't anymore

i understand now why people call it a veil, why they talk about pulling it back, and i've experienced and seen a lot of strange things, but i'm still unsure of why i've experienced any of it

in the visitation dreams there was a clear message that something is waiting for me, but idk what and i can't really see how

i'm just a loser ex junkie who's had a hard crazy life pretty much, and all i want out of life is to get high in the woods and have sex

can't imagine why weird shit would find me, but it does

i used to be an atheist who was interested in buddhist and existentialist philosophy and now i'm deeper in the occult than i'd ever thought i'd be

>>19365925
nice

>>19366470

i'm not sure how i feel about it honestly

that ritual my ex did in particular was pretty hard to deal with, it was like having the world as i knew it crumble around me and i couldn't pick any of the pieces back up to make sense of it

not to mention the "memories" themselves had a lot of fucked up shit in them, in addition to being historically accurate (i knew fuckall about any of it prior to the experience, but i told most of it to a friend of mine and she did a lot of research and would send me cliffnotes; she managed to find a 40 year time frame it could've fit in and so on)

anyway it was really intense, leveled off a little after i tried to hang myself one day (didn't work out, so i got drunk instead) and now i'm just feeling like i'm perpetually waiting for some other shit to play out if anything

i try to keep some distance between my head and all of this, because i don't like the idea of blind faith in something of this nature, it's not comfortable for me, but so far there's no denying it and everything has played out exactly as it was meant to

>>19365691
this is the ayyy that shut down 4chan

save it quick boys

>>19365677
Feeling company with one of the old gods. Trying to be 'gudibehag',

>Pagan religious experiences?
It was going to storm nearby and I tried to bend the winds to move the rain over to me and then Huginn and Muninn showed up out of nowhere.
It rained in my locale the next day. I was trying to reach far beyond my current abilities. Stupid me, right?