Why do evangelicals get spooked so easily? >someone meditates

>>19361898
>Who raped them?
God. Did you miss the whole "miracle birth" bit?

>>19361898
Because they believe in the higher power waaay to fucking literally and they don't know big J ran a fertility cult about the right kind of lovin

>>19361898
I'm Satan and im locked here forever. Any suggestions?

>>19361898
You must be one of this meditative yoga faggots, praise jesus

>>19361898
I'm a baptised evangelical. meditate, understand the symbols/code of satan archetype, schizophrenic af prophet/psychic/time traveller/dragon, dad raped me.

>>19363617
Wow and slowclap for nu-/x/ these are the people you argue with over Bible raptures

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>>19361898
>Why do evangelicals get spooked so easily?

Im pretty sure its bc they're all extremely ignorant. Yeah thats it.

>>19363554
Try turning it off and back on

>>19363554
Find a volcano in the middle of arabia and kys.

>>19361898
strawman much

>>19361898
Their parents and religious leaders raped their brains.

Seriously, I was raised Catholic (no longer practicing) and have dated a couple evangelical chicks, and holy fuck are they bonkers. Their whole families are. It's the pastors or whatever, basically all their teaching revolve around demons being out to get everybody and the only defense is the power of Jesus Christ. They think demons are everywhere and that anything from other religions is demonic. It's ridiculous.

>>19361898
Evangelicals are crazy conspirationists, actually /x/ would love them.
I tried to be friends with Evangelicals but they kept saying that I believe in the Church of Satan

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>>19361898
If any of you retards had read the old testament it is fulled to the brim with COMMANDMENTS to not do any kind of "magic" or else you might let evil forces influence you. I've only skimmed it but there are very specific things NEVER to do like predicting the future, making potions, charms, giving offerings to graven images, or making curses. These are mostly all the things that polytheists used to do at that time.

Ironically they are actually right. Everyone knows (by now at least) if you fuck with a Ouija board you can "invite" spirits into your life. They just take it way too seriously. But since they are so afraid and ignorant of magic they have no idea what actually is magic and what is just meditation. So anything even slightly spoopy is dangerous in their eyes.

>>19361898
My local church once put out a pamphlet telling parents the signs of Satantic worship. These included:
>metal
>hair dye
>video games
>Buddhism
and so on, pretty funny stuff