ITT: Creepy things little kids say/ have said

>>19335542
>noo....no touchy there daddy, please!

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>>19335574

>>19335866
I like you.

Well, when I was a kid living in Virginia, my lesbian gym teachers took me and some other kid into the locker room and asked us to take our pants off. The other kid got a really deep voice, looked at me and said, "Do it nigga." You would think i'm joking, but I assure you, it's the truth, or at least the truth I remember.

I remember my mom always saying how I always used to force a cough to the point where I would spit up blood. She always freaked put but I thought it was funny at the time.

Just thought I'd contribute to the thread

its like im really on reddit
but i guess thats what i can expect from a board that takes the kek meme seriously

>>19336625
nope its not us. that is the /pol/ faggots that leak on this board that take that shit seriously

x tan > Kek

>>19335542
my oldest daughter sometimes laughed and looked at something behind me when i changed her diapers oder we played. she also referenced my wifes maternal grandfather who died in the early 1990s.

>>19336666
nice dub-quad combo

>>19336727
thanks.

>>19336651
butt hurt liberal faggot detected

>>19336146
did you take your pants off?

>>19335542
"You're a big guy, anon."
How the hell did they figure out I'm a baneposter?

>>19336115
Why the fuck do you like him just for posting an outdated Chris Hansen meme picture you sentimental fuck

>>19337346
>>19336651

Gee I wonder who this could be. Only a handful of assholes like you on /x/, atheist as well no doubt. Why even bother if you're just going to shit up every thread you post in?

>>19336115
Ur gey

Our four year old said was questioned on whats going on, why are you alive? And he quickly said everything is fake even us and him, its not real.. then smiles

"why don't you have any friends anon"

>>19335542
as a 5 year old i shouted 'i wish you were dead' at my cousin because she was horrible to me

she didn't die, but she is in prison for accessory to murder

>>19336666
checked

>>19336666
>Averting her eyes in shame and with nervous laughter,

"There's a monster under the bed!"
"There's a monster in the closet!"
"There's a monster outside the window!"
"There's a monster in the attic!"
"There's a monster in the basement!"

>>19336727
>33666
It's a full house

>>19338028
>"There's a monster in the closet!"
>"There's a monster outside the window!"
>"There's a monster in the attic!"
>"There's a monster in the basement!"
"There's a monster on the roof!"
"There's a monster in the mirror!"
"There's a monster inside me!"
>"There's a monster inside YOU"

>>19338023
no, i'm not afraid of such entities. if they make my girls smile, they can't be bad in the first place.

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>>19338028
>"There's a monster in the basement!"

>>19335542
>Little brother once climbed into bed with parents
>was maybe 5
>his mother asked what was wrong
>"I'm not who you think I am"
> nope.jpg

>>19336115
go fuck yourself you reddit trash

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>>19336146

>>19336621
Coughing up a demon headass.

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>>19336146

>>19336744
2 easy to make you polcucks mad

>>19339078
Elaborate?

>>19339142
Thats pretty much it, brother. I had moved out already. He doesnt remember saying it, but he got up and went through his morning routine shortly after. Sorry for it not being a more complete story.

>>19336744
Yes my fellow altright shadily amiright ;^)
Memes will conquer the world
Praise kek
See you on the_donald
Shadilay

>mom shows me a picture of my older brother who died before I was born
>she tells me who he is
>"I know that, I have talked to him before"

I don't recall it personally but my mom told me about it. Its kind of spooky to think about.

>>19339084
I like you too.

I dont know if it's creepy as such, but when i was 6 i told my stepmom: you die when you die and that's yours to live with.

>>19335542
>"Mom, where can I find dynamite?"
t. Me

>>19337400
he is right in a way

but that depends on your definition of "fake"

>>19335542
When I was a little kid instead of calling my grandma any normal grandma nickname I picked up calling her "Bacha" for no particular reason. Eventually a Serbian friend of my family heard me say it and asked her "You let him call you that?". Turns out Bacha is Serbian for old woman. I was born around the time a lot of Serbians were dying from war so my family has just kind of quietly accepted I may be a reincarnated Serbian soldier.

>>19335542
My dad told me that i said ''I need more eyes to ascend and to comprehend the cosmic structure around myself but how i will achieve gaining these ''eyes'' are rather mysterious. However to ascend and to comprehend i am ready to sacrifice anything!'' but i don't remember it.

>>19339973
kek

>be me
>5 yo or smth
>in some room with dad, think we were looking for something
>look out window see this guy think i know him
>start waving
>dosent wave back
>"dad why isnt he waving back?"
>who?
>pointing to the guy
>???

my dad just never saw anyone there

my five-year-old niece recently came up with a few creepy-ish statements/questions:

>does Kitty (my cat) have a heart?
>I want to see a heart, a real heart
>God only gives you one body
>what is skin made of?
>I wish I could see God

>>19342271
These are pretty normal Questions coming from a smart kid, I think. She wants to know how the Body Works and as a kid you also try to understand God and the world surrounding you

>>19342347
Agreed. She's a smart kid, and curious. She's sweet, too. So when these came up during a visit recently, it just gave me a bit of start, is all.

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>>19335542
I was camping 3 weeks ago with my wife, her friends and their kids.

One of the kids one night was talking near a tree at our site. Turns out the kid claimed that he was talking to another kid who had, " dust skin and look hurt with cuts".

Needless to say it was weird to sleep after that.

>>19336115
and i want you
now we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. the choice is yours

My friend started redecorating things and after all the furniture was moved, his son who was 3 at the time kept looking at one specific corner and laughing from time to time. He would stare and smile for a while, and then just start laughing. It was weird when he's watching TV or playing with toys and would get distracted and look to the corner for no reason.

I remember hanging out and my friend's watching this so he asks his son "What are you looking at?" and the kid immediately stopped smiling and looked down at his toys as if he didn't want to say.

Eventually he grew out of it, but it was difficult to rationalize at the time.

>>19342866
Yeah, these things are what makes Fatherhood sometimes really attractive. Explaining some you're child the World and show it all kinds of interesting things

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>>19338043
>"There's a monster inside me!"

>>19340505
Lol

>>19336666
So you're German too? Interesting stuff.

>>19343310
If Johan is supposed to be so perfect, why does he have such huge dumbo ears

>>19343288
>it
Parenting expert

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>>19339078

weird shit they've done?
few years ago my little brother was 2-3 years old, woke up in the middle of the night to him running around in the back yard in the middle of the night giggling and talking to himself, when i went out ready to fuck someone up he wanted me to play with him on the slide/swings, he was very happy. very weird experience.

>>19335542
>In an apartment laying down roach bait
>Little kid comes up to the baby gate
>Points at me and starts speaking latin sounding shit and says a few numbers
>What the fuck?
>Keeps staring at me with his finger pointed at me
>Step over baby gate and exit
>Property manager and Co worker just asked me what the fuck happened
"No clue, shit got weird real quick"

His mom was hot tho

>>19338980
>Look at that smile.

He a gud boi. He dindu nuffin

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>>19336625
Do not anger a god anon.

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>>19338023
>She was embarrassed about shitting herself