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You wake up at 4 AM and you see this in your bed. What do you do?

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Thread replies: 173
Thread images: 27

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You wake up at 4 AM and you see this in your bed.
What do you do?
>>
>>19328785
feed her eggs
>>
Wonder why someone would break into my house just to leave a statue like that there, then probably call the police.
>>
something something morning wood.
>>
>>19328785

embrace chaos and insert three grapes into my rectum
>>
>>19328794
best answer
>>
>>19328785
Looks exactly like the stuff i like so prob just put it in the livingroom
>>
>>19328785
shit pants
>>
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>>19328785
1 paper bag later and I have a perfect sex doll
>>
That's my cat.
>>
Try and fuck it
>>
Wonder how my ex got into my house after I changed the locks
>>
>>19328785
It's smiling, so it's clearly incapable of hurt you.
>>
>>19328785
Give the entity a hug and say it'll be okay.
>>
Piss on it and assert dominance over it.
>>
>>19328929
There is no try, only do or do not.
>>
>>19328789
FPBP
>>
it's Tuesday already?
>>
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>>19328789
>>19328962
kek
>>
>>19328785
Go back to sleep again
>>
Does anyone have the pasta about fucking that thing?
>>
>>19328785
Date her. I mean, the teeth aren't even pointed. And she's obviously into me if she came into my house all on her own. Besides she looks a lot less menacing than a girl I was living with years ago.
>>
>>19328785
I would fucking pound that thing it has got a tight ass body holy fuck
>>
impregnate her desu
>>
benis in vagina :-D
>>
Mating press.
>>
>>19328785
would fuck
>>
>>19328785
make her my mate and fug for hours, then cuddle
>>
>>19328794
Sell it on eBay
>>
>>19328785
grab knife...
>>
>>19331173
Try as hard as i possibly can to get pregnant while smashing.
>>
"It's not illegal to rape whatever you are...time to bite the pillow bitch!"
>>
>>19328948
Underrated
>>
>>19328785
fuck it
i like skinny pale red heads
>>
>>19328785
its pitch dark at 4am in my room. i wouldn't see shit
>>
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>>19328785
ahh my soulmate
>>
>>19331173
pretty much this, just imagine how good touching her skin would feel like
>>
>>19328992
im ded
>>
>>19328785
Put it back on the shelf. I must have fallen asleep attempting to hotglue it.
>>
Probably flip shit and try to shoot it, but assuming it hasn't killed me by the time I got my gun ready I'd probably figure that if it was gonna hurt me it would have done so by then
>>
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>>19329018
OMFG PASTA PLS
>>
Can't keep my dick in my pants
>>
Fuck it. It obviously wants the dick if it got in bed with you. My semen will claim it as my property.
>>
>>19329018
There´s a pasta?
Who Im kidding, I can fug everything that has tits and a hole
>>
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>>19328785
>>
>>19328785
>rape
>>
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>>19328785
>naked redhead in my bed
I drop my spaghetti all over my sheets.
>>
>>19328992
I can't fucking even.
>>
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>>
>>19333620
dear lord, this is bigger than i thought
>>
> glock 19 by bedside
> pulls slide
> feeds bitch soft tips

Check em
>>
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Tripp-p-ppy doof'd3
>>
>>19328785
Realistically, I'd scream, jump out of bed, and run out of the house. Also, here's a link to the sculptor's DA page in case anyone's interested: http://nnhmn.deviantart.com/art/Jessica-519900882
>>
>>19333771
^
>>
>>19329018
FIND PASTA
I
N
D

P
A
S
T
A
>>
>>19328785
does it have a vagina and how fast is it, if yes and slow then beat it and make it my sex slave or something idk depends how much it complains
>>
>>19328785
kick it off, push it into my closet, lock the closet, call cops
>>
>>19328785
if statue: this >>19328794
if real thing:
- kek answer: have secks with her, she looks hot
- real answer: shit my pants and probably die of cardiac arrest
>>
>>19328785
wake up at 4am....

fell for the go to bed early meme.
>>
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new gf
>>
>>19328785
turn away from the mirror
>>
>>19331340
Yes, also this, totally. Long and blissful lovemaking until she is knocked up.
>>19331468
would be sublime
>>
>>19331463
Id rather fuck that one. At least that one could finger me instead of fist. Plus im a sucker for platinum blondes
>>
>>19333771
That's not how trips work you summerfag waste of oxygen.
>>
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Trow it out like it was a cat
>>
>>19328785
throw a condom at it and hope for the best
>>
>>19331463
>Put on oculus rift
>Merge "Neko_para_girl" bones to her through a kinect
>Pretend she is a cat girl
>all is well so long as I don't take the goggles off

;-;
>>
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>>19335685
That one is a male fyi.
>>
>>19336606
M-male?

Bonemerge "Futa_Neko_para_girl_feminine_penis.morphg"
>>
>>19334818
Yeah, same.
Also
>Artfag answer:
"Incredible piece"
>>
>>19328785
stick my dick in it's mouth
>>
>>19336616
Yeah. It's my go-to nonhuman fap material.
>>
>>19331463
so pretty
>>
>>19328785
Be happy you bagged a redhead.
>>
>>19328785
...C'mon Why don't you just come here babe
Tomorrow is full of work
Come here you need sugar but sshhh don't wake the kids..
>>
>>19328785
fug
>>
>>19336606
fe-feminine penis?
>>
>>19328785
do she have puss puss?
if so, i think you know the rest
>>
Redhead, decent body, ah hell, why not?
>>
>>19328929
>fuck it
this is the only correct answer
>>
its hard to imagine what one would do, when this beautiful woman creature doesnt exist.
the time and effort put into making this look so alive is amazing
>>
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>>19328785
The deed, of course.
>>
>>19339621
Someone mentioned a pasta for this creature. That better not be it.

Also is /tg/ somehow a spot for this stuff? lol
>>
>>19328785
I die from shock?!?!
>>
>>19328785
Kill it with the knife I have under my pillow, obviously.
>>
>>19331173
>cuddle
Fucking degenerate. What's next, holding hands?
>>
>>19341216
Of course not. Holding stubs. She has no hands.
>>
>>19328785
Flick the bean
>>
>>19341328
Rude
>>
>>19328785
2 options:
1. If I can only see "her" face I would just close my eyes and put back my head in my bedcover, faking death.
2. If I see her whole body, I would think that "she" isn't a threat since she has no claws. I'll try to knock "her" done so she'll end up on "her" back and wouldn't get up.
>>
Tell my wife we're about to have that BDSM threesome we were talking about.
>>
>>19341730
how
>>
I got it covered anon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZD7eaFSNXkQ
>>
>>19328785
>no hands
>no feet
>no resistance
>pin down and payback rape it for scaring me
>>
Id rape it until its dead, then record myself raping while its dead
>>
Rape it until it ls ded
>>
>>19341824
In the second option she'd probably stand up and bite your dick off with those massive teeth
>>
>>19328785
Throw them hands
>>
>>19328992
epic post
>>
>>19328785
Spank that brad girls bottom until it's cherry red
>>
>>19336606
Im ok with that. Hence why id prfer fingering to fisting but dicking is good too.
>>
>>19343073
yo virgin the monster is actually a guy
>>
>>19343079
EVEN BETTER
>>
>>19331463
it's a trap
>>
>>19328785
notits , its a faggotry test isnt it anon?
>>
>>19343073
You should post that shit in the /aco/ nightmare waifu thread and link it.
Posting it here is only going to get you banned.
>>
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>>19343122

ruh roh
>>
>>19343130
Enjoy your vacation
>>
>>19343079
Your point?
>>
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>F U C K I T
>>
>>19328992
You made my night
>>
>>19328785
"Ay girl how your friday lookin?"
>>
post it on 50+ but horny sites
>>
>>19343079
OP's isn't
>>
Shit pants in self defense
>>
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It's naked and in my bed. It could have killed me in my sleep but it didn't. There's only one logical conclusion.
>>
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>>19328785
Make fun of the nugget that looks like a madness combat character then put it in the bin
>>
>>19328844

why are you sleeping with your pants on?
>>
shit myself, then realise its a statue and keep it
or sell it, depending on its worth
>>
>>19328785
shit myself
then realise its a statue and look up its worth on ebay
>>
hit her with an axe i keep by my bed for home intruders
then rape her of course
>>
>>19328785
obv fornicate if it's down.
>>
>>19336638
lackluster at best.
It is generally unimaginative and misogynist.

it's clearly one of the creators ex girlfriends who
cheated on them a bunch which is why she's on all 4s and nude.

to get over the trauma he made her a monster.
>>
>>19345036
>an ax for home intruders

its like you want to be murdered. Just one pumped up nigger could easily dodge your first swing and youd be history. if you cant have a gun for whatever reason, use a short sword or just a bat would be better.
>>
>>19342138
You mean "suck your dick off" right?
>>
>>19328785
Is it bad that I want to fuck it
>>
>>19335685
The main problem with the first one was the mouth, freaking too large, therefore gives the uncanny valley effect
>>
>>19328785
in this order
>get scared
>push thing outta my personal space
>turn on the light so i can see
>fight the thing if it is a theat to me, if not figure out a way to take it out of my place
>once is settle, grab some booze and try to forget.
>>
>>19331463
Cutes when?
>>
>>19328785
My prayers have come true. I finally got my redhead girlfriend.
>>
wrap it with my bedsheet in one smooth motion

beat/rape it to death
>>
>>19345608
the real monster is you
>>
>>19328785
I see with my 1911 under the pillow
I'd probably put a round on its head
>>
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Would you?
>>
>>19328918
>ANCAP VS REALITY
>>
>>19345964
Of course I would, in a heartbeat,
>>
>>19328992
Oh fuck, not again, you got me hard
>>
>>19328785
Fuck it mercilessly since I'm on nofap and the urges are surreal
>>
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>>19345964
>>
>>19346499
too weeb to be appealing
>>
>>19328785
>he sleeps through the night
fucking weirdo
>>
>>19346499
Sauce?
>>
>>19346505
Must be a newfag to /x/.
>>
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>>19346535

Don't have it. Just reverse search.
>>
>>19346557
Looks like a work in progress. Hushabye Valley is the artist.
>>
>>19328785
move it the living room table so all my guests can see this detailed sculpture
>>
>>19328785
What else?
FUCK EM
FUCK EM RIGHT IN THE ASS
>>
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>>19328785
YOU'RE NOT GETTING ME THIS TIME
>>
How big is it?
>>
>>19328785
There's gotta be someway to fuck it?
>>
Try to get life advice from it
>>
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>>19328785
I'm kicking the thing out of my house.
>>
>>19328785
Tie it down and fuck it obviously what are you a beta or something
>>
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>>19328785
I'd much prefer her brother.
>>
>>19328785

>almost 4am
>been having succubus problems

WHY.

FUCK YOU, OP.
>>
>>19329018
thisthisthis
>>
>>19335330
>tfw creepy vaguely feminine humanoid creatures with low self-esteem are your fetish
Umm, anon, just wondering. Would you like to maybe cuddle sometime? It's okay if you don't want to.
>>
Fuck it, or let it fuck me, I really don't care either way.
>>
>>19345964
...maybe. Depends on shared interests and bedroom preferences.
>>
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I will fear I'm Alpha warrior
>>
>>19346500
You're on an anime image board, newfriend.
>>
>>19350180
You're lost and confused
>>>/a/
>>
>>19328918
is the lizard ok? ):
>>
>>19339907
/tg/ shares a sizeable part of userbase with /x/ and /d/ due to fantasy/paranormal themes and creatures existing in all of related content.
>>
>>19328785
I would say "wow what a creepy looking statue, how did this get in my bed without me waking up"
>>
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>>19350944
No, anon. You are.
>>
>>19350180
anon, all I said was that image was too weeb to appeal to me, I like the realism of OP's more
what is your beef with that
>>
>>19328785
eat her ass
>>
>>19350180
>>19351339
>more non-anime than anime boards
>top 5 most popular boards are non-anime related

>anime imageboard
>>
>>19345964
I think I am in love. Just might make some art, who is she?
>>
>>19351838
Thale. Movie about a Norwegian folk creature.
>>
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>>19352073
Bit of a butterface IMHO.
>>
>>19331463
Bedside Marlen a cute.

http://rule34.paheal.net/post/list/bedside_marlen/1
Thread posts: 173
Thread images: 27


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