Magick GF

>>19316999
It will require you go outside no matter what.

>>19317004
REEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>19317004
This is fine
no social interaction please

>>19316999

Have you improved yourself physically?

Have you improved yourself mentally?

Spiritually?

Emotionally?

Because if you're lazy, the Universal Spirit will say "Fuck you, you're not worthy."

Go make yourself be worthy first. THEN come back and ask for some help.

>>19316999
If you think magic is the easy way to get a girlfriend you are mistaken. It's literally not worth all the repercussion. You're better off finding a girl through normal means however tedious it might seem.

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>>19317081
The Universal Whatever can fuck off

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>>19317118
It's fucking worth it just tell me how.

>>19317122
Lol, fuck you. We had this little dipshit about a month ago asking for love spells, someone gave him one and there was at least 5 people in the thread telling him not to do it. Dipshit did the spell, ended up feeling constantly drained and having horrible headaches and the girl he was trying to get with started acting weird and avoiding him. Then he found out she was Wiccan and he literally fucked up any chance he ever had with her. This is a cautionary tale, don't be a dipshit.

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>>19317135
all you niggers do is "hurr durr you are not ready" or "hurr durr you gotta appease X deity" or whatever the fuck
If any of us did magic we wouldn't be here

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>>19316999
What;s wrong with sigils to do what this anon suggests: >>19317081

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>>19317171
They don't work

>>19317156
Once again, fuck you. Nobody said you're "not ready" but clearly if you're asking this stupid shit you have no fucking clue what you're doing. If you knew the first thing about the occult and witchcraft you would be asking stupid shit like this. This is petty ass shit to invest your time in but it will sure as hell fuck you up and I'm only trying to stop that from happening.
And I'm not being cryptic at all, if you're interested in the occult go read a fucking book, there's a whole thread full of them. But you're obviously only interested in wish fulfillment and that shit's not real. Not if you don't put some actual effort in it.

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>>19317181
Listen nigga every fucking thread on /x/ is people saying dumb cryptic shit or LARPing like a bunch of faggot.
I'm fucking petty enough to do this shit and i need to know how okay
Just point me into a proper direction

>>19317122

1:
get a population density map of your city. figure out where the most people live as you will need a lot of energy to perform this ritual
2:
map out a giant pentagram , where the center pentagon surrounds the most sense areas of the city
3:
travel to the five points of the pentagram , starting at the westmost point and following the lines of the pentagram (you should be skipping every other point)
4:
at each point you must perform this ritual: take a living bird (you can buy cheap ones at a pet store, or maybe find baby chicks) and bury it alive. if the point is in a city street and there is no soil to bury, leave it in a taped up box at the point. now you should pray for the animal, and if you can, masturbate over it's grave/tomb (if not it should be fine but the quality of girlfriend will be higher if you sacrifice some of your own energy)
5:
take a shower and dress nicely - then travel to the true center of the pentagram and wait an hour
a girl will appear and you will know when you see her so you have to go talk to her
even if you're awkward the ritual should make up for it and she'll find you endearing at least

all of the point rituals can be performed whenever, but the entire ritual should be completed within a week, hopefully ending around a full moon

good luck friend

>>19317181
He is not willing to work for what he wants, he just wants it handed to him

Never gonna make it

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>>19317198
GODAMN IT STOP STRINING ME THE FUCK ALONG AND JUST TELL ME HOW YOU FUCKING TRIPFAG
I'LL GIVE MY FUCKING LEFT BUTT CHEEK FOR THIS SHIT

>>19317192
I already pointed you in a direction >>19312145
I don't care how petty you are, if you can't even get sigils to work I can't see how anything else will. I'm not even worrying about shit backfiring on you, it'll straight up not work since you obviously don't even have the basics down.
If you're interested in the occult in general go read some books. if you only want this one thing just give up honestly, it's never going to work this way. Best case scenario you've wasted your time, worst case you fuck shit up for yourself.

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>>19317216
Sigils are pretty dumb to be honest
You are supposed to suspend your disbelief untill it works and it's kinda silly
I mean it did kinda work but in a monkey's paw sort of way

>>19317198
Well, he has a choice. I've honestly seen this happen to many times to think this one will listen to reason, but I've got to at least try.

>>19317223
You really are something, ya know? If this was your attempt at inspiring me to help you it was one of the worst I've seen.

>Step 1, remember that magick isn't real
>Step 2, go outside
>Step 3, talk to people

Repeat steps until successful.

>>19317223

There you go anon, that monkey's paw effect is what everyone is fucking warning you about.

Bending reality isn't so easy as whining, huh?

>>19317240
It wasn't
Look man all i need is to be pointed in the right direction the rest i will sort out myself

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>>19316999
Bump i guess

>>19317272
Oh I did point you in the right direction. You just seemed to have selectively read only what you wanted to hear.

Also this anon >>19317247 is right.

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>>19317313
You just said occult liteature but what exactly
there's fucking loads of occult liteature

>>19317325
What do you take me for, some kind of occult teacher? Surely you can figure out by yourself how to ask for recommendations for a beginner.

>>19317338
you know my intent just point me to somewhere because you seem better versed in this

>>19317372
Fine, start with energy manipulation. As for what to do after, honestly just ask the people on that thread, I'm not exactly classically educated in this, and there are better ways to do this than I did, hence lack of recommendations on my behalf.

>>19317135
Do you undestand this might be the exception, and actually this only shows that the spell not just only worked, but it may be very succesful because it actually made the girl take heavy spiritual security?, and, maybe this one particular case and yet you may give the spell to OP just because of the laughs.

How to magic to get a job? I can't do interviews. They tirgger my anxiety.

>>19317416
Magic isn't a quick fix, either you dedicate yourself to learning it, in which case this isn't how to start, or you try to "use it" and it fucks you up.

>>19317135
Wiccans are just LARPers who watched too much Charmed though.

>>19317447
As long as I don't have to talk to people.

>>19317067
>visualize meeting qt at occult bookstore
>go to occult bookstore
>don't be weird

>>19317452
Sure, but they know a binding spell when they see it.

>>19317459
I mean it's up to you dude, as long as you don't expect to learn everything you need in a month. Good luck.

>>19317492
Like, what do I even do though?

>>19317504
Start with energy manipulation, and go from there, here's resources: >>19312145
If you want further recommendations that's where to ask for them, though the library has a labelled beginner's section.

>>19317325
>there's fucking loads of occult liteature

But Anon, he's helpfully trying to explain to you that only /omg/ occult literature is effective. And you can trust them, they're the most advanced occultists on the planet!

>>19317135
>outplayed by sunday witch
lol

>>19317223
>>19317325
Stop posting this dumb fag. No wonder you're a virgin

>>19317995
And they all browse /x/! What are the chances???

>>19317995
Or, ya know, I'm giving him a place to start because I sure as hell don't have a list of sources just chilling on my desktop in case someone asks for them.

>>19318169
What else did you expect? Go in blind and get fucked in the most comedic way possible.

Just tell her no. Ignore her.

>>19317416

Instead of crafting a spell to get a job...why don't you craft a spell to improve yourself?

Most successful magics tend to be ones that involve self improvement.

>>19319970
how tho?

>>19320533
start basic:
drink water.
don't eat garbage.
go for walks.
stop beating off.

>>19320543
I walk for two hours every day minimum and I'm still fat.

>>19317120
Then you can too. And you will.

>>19317081
I like how the "Universal Spirit" has the time to help greasy NEETs get girlfriends but can't be bothered to help children with cancer.

>>19320653
Children with cancer get all the shit they ask for except not having cancer.

>>19320653
Those little bastards were blessed by the universal spirit. They get to take the easy way out.

>>19320653
Those children were assholes.