Dr. Courtney Henderson's Cure for HIV of the Soul

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>>19281240
1. Many hucksters claim that their "process" is legitimate by citing that they were given a patent.
2. The patent office will let you patent ANYTHING no matter how stupid or crazy IF you write the patent application CORRECTLY.
3. The only exception to rule #2 is any device that claims to produce "over unity", "unlimited free energy", "zero point energy", "perpetual motion", "anti-gravity", or anything even vaguely similar is REJECTED.

They CLAIM they will accept a patent for the above IF it is accompanied by a WORKING device, but to date, no working device has ever gotten to the patent office before the applicant died, was arrested, or disappeared. No other technology requires a working model or to be consistent with know laws of physics (which THIS patent clearly shows).

>>19281912
>1. Many hucksters claim that their "process" is legitimate by citing that they were given a patent.

That seems like the most probable reason.

I got a kick out of these bits:

> The Soul is the same entity described in Religious doctrines and by the Central Intelligence Agency.

> The present invention is relevant to Agencies, such as the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)... ...I postulated that HIV disease may be contracted by an Agent from the study subject due to exposure of infectious bodily fluids.

1. Perform a Body Scan on the Soul to count HIV.
2. The Soul should be a Visible Image.
3. Elevate the Soul three (3) feet higher such that the feet do not touch the floor. Perform in an area where Biohazards can be contained, as the floor may become contaminated.
4. Transform the Soul into an Invisible Image as seen in FIG. 5.
5. Aromatize the Soul as seen in FIG. 6.
6. Aromatize the Soul as seen in FIG. 7.
7. Aromatize the Soul.
8. Rinse the Soul with water for two (2) minutes; rinsing from the head toward the toes, using a shower of water traveling at a moderate rate.
9. Wash the Soul for three (3) minutes; the scientific satellite signals the Ground Station for the washing solution to be applied, and the satellite signals for the solution to be agitated throughout the Soul.
10. Rinse the Soul for three (3) minutes as seen in FIG. 8.
11. Materialize the Soul as seen in FIG. 9.
12. Materialize the Soul.
13. Materialize the Soul.
14. Transform the Soul to a Visible Image
15. Command the Satellite to remove contaminants from under the Soul or to move the Soul laterally and then place the Soul on the clean floor.
16. Command the Satellite to dry the Soul for two (2) minutes using heated air or wind circulating at a low velocity for further disinfection.
17. Perform a Body Scan of the Soul to re-evaluate the HIV count.

>>19281240
This it's the most elaborate placebo device I ever seen, therefore the best.

Your immune system will not only recover from this, but it will also smell fantastic.

>>19282941
>5. Aromatize the Soul as seen in FIG. 6.
>6. Aromatize the Soul as seen in FIG. 7.
>7. Aromatize the Soul.
Compared to steps 5,6.... Step 7 is just your common soul aromatization. Most people shouldn't need an illustration for this.

>11. Materialize the Soul as seen in FIG. 9.
>12. Materialize the Soul.
>13. Materialize the Soul.

Gotta push the button a couple times I guess.

>>19282955
Good thing too. All Agents know that a Soul infected with HIV smells like ripe hooker shit.