What's this a picture of?

Your wall you psycho

>>19274562
The crazed scribblings of a mentally ill/disturbed person?

>>19274562
You tell me, anon..

>>19274562
I think those are "trip notes"

>>19274562
super sonic

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>>19274609
seconded

Ex-roommate tried to keep a trip journal through drawings and writing, ended up with something similar, kek, great times

>>19274609
>>19274674

Bingo.

I wanted to see what people would think it is. It's definitely just insane ramblings from the outside.

Yet somehow I understand it all. Even when I'm sober it all makes sense to me, yet I can also see how insane and stupid it appears.

Why is this?

>>19274681
autism

>>19274562
Nothing. This is just a bunch of pretentious dribble.

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>>19274681
You should see my phone's notes. Makes absolutely no sense.. it did during trip.
Pic related: from a couple of months back. I think it's about an important day or something. Many such cases.

>>19274774
Could be schizophrenia. I'm at that age where symptoms of it would start arising.

But I don't feel crazy.

Then again, that's exactly what a psychotic would say.

>>19274889
It made sense on your trip, but does it make sense to you now?

My problem isn't that I wrote this shit while I was tripping. I wrote it while I was sober. And I understand it while I'm sober.

And I know exactly why it looks crazy. Though it all makes sense to me, I've made little or no attempt to make it make sense to other people. It's like speaking a language. There's that point where you can understand it perfectly but not speak it perfectly. That's were these notes are. The point inbetween.

If I'm really crazy, that means I'm wrong. That's good. Some part of me wants to be wrong. I find it relaxing.

But what's keeping me up at night, driving me nearly to tears, is that I might be right.

I hope to God I'm wrong

>>19274681
alright, so if it makes perfect sense to you when you look at it, then translate it for the rest of us

>>19274959
read>>19274949

>And I know exactly why it looks crazy. Though it all makes sense to me, I've made little or no attempt to make it make sense to other people. It's like speaking a language. There's that point where you can understand it perfectly but not speak it perfectly. That's were these notes are. The point inbetween.

That's my problem.

>>19274973
To be clear, I need to get to the point where I can communicate what I understand more clearly.

That's why I wrote "study quantum physics." I thought science had the answers, but now I realize that it's answers only create more questions. That's whole point. And therefore it's like trying to whittle a mountain down to a thumbprint with an icepick. It just can't be done.

This is the point where I think I lack the skills to communicate this thing inside me. If you understand anything I write after this, God help you.

I'm an atheist. I've been since I was 12 and continue to be. There are a lot of terms out there that describe one's theology, but Atheist proposes a certain absolute that I'm ok with. And yet, after what I've learned I know there is a God. This is the kind of thing i'm talking about. It's like cognitive dissonance. But not only am I holding two conflicting viewpoints at the same time, I'm realizing that they can be the same.

If I'm right, this is the fundamental law that controls the universe. It's God and the ultimate scientific understanding of all time. It's greater than Jesus and Einstein combined and doubled.

I see it. I see how it all fucking works. I see how this bullshit i'm spouting make sense. Why the fuck can I not word it right? And why does the thought of not being able to scare me more than anything else?

In the end, I realize the uselessness of what I'm doing. Like I said, it's like trying to whittle a mountain down to a thumbprint with an icepick. Not just difficult. Impossible.

And yet, understanding this, I will keep replying to any posts this thread gets. Why do I do this?

>>19274949
>Could be schizophrenia. I'm at that age where symptoms of it would start arising.
i can read crazy. gimme a second

ok he thinks he is god because a voice tells him that he is god but its all because he thinks a atom from a single fart he let out caused the big bang

thats what that shit in the middle is its the stink cloud radiating out and going through time and he thinks this happened because his stomach some how changed a single atom to allow for special relativity to change the flow of the electron. basically he thinks it started to go backwards after having slowed and then stopped via the observers perception and he thinks thats all it takes for a atom to go back in time because a electron moves so fast some say its in a probability field not actually orbiting

>>19275072
>i can read crazy
No you can't. That's what makes it crazy. Anything you don't understand is what you deem "crazy." That's why so many brilliant scientists are laughed out the room when they first posit their findings. They've discovered a fundamental law, but they lack the skill to communicate it.

>he thinks he is god
No I don't. You don't understand.

>voice tells him that he is god
I'm not hearing any voices except my own. You misread me.

>because he thinks a atom from a single fart he let out caused the big bang
I'm fully aware of my own lack of importance. Trust me.

Knowing this has allowed me to see that It doesn't matter how insignificant I am, because the small and the large are so intimately related they cease to operate as separate entities.

It sounds gay as fuck, but everything in the universe is the same. And yet, somehow different at the same time. It's all just someplace in between. That's what I'm looking to explain to you. That point inbetween two objective absolutes.

>thats what that shit in the middle is its the stink cloud radiating out and going through time and he thinks this happened because his stomach some how changed a single atom to allow for special relativity to change the flow of the electron. basically he thinks it started to go backwards after having slowed and then stopped via the observers

Despite how fucking poorly written this post was (you understand what you're talking about but lack the skill to communicate it effectively. I feel the same way.) I get where you're mistaken.

You're assuming I believe I'm at the center of all this. You think this because I use singular words like "I" and "me." But if I'm right, we're all at the center of it, myself and yourself, at the exact same time. We, as objective, absolutely separate entities, are exactly the same.

Regardless, like I said, I lack the skills to explain the true emotional impact this revelation should have on you. And yet I'm going to keep trying.

>>19275162
Nice try but your ego betrays you.

Enlightment it's in another place.

>>19275176
Of course I have a fucking ego. I'm literally incapable of not having an ego. All things are different, so I assume I'm separate from existence as a whole. There's literally no other way I'm capable of existing.

The inherent dilemma of what I'm trying to communicate is that despite this, we are simultaneously exactly the same. That despite your ego, despite your belief in a singular "soul" that transcends all of it, you are utterly trapped by everything around you.

Ask yourself, how can the knowledge that you are an individual create both love and hate in your heart? We feel independent, yet we feel lonely. We feel solitude, yet we also feel isolation. It is in this conflict between to definite binaries that I posit we exist as two different things at the same time.

And to realize this is to know both beauty and horror beyond description.

But again, there's a reason I keep bringing up the futility. If I'm right, It means I am utterly incapable of communicating to you fully the sheer gravity of what I've discovered. To realize it consciously and fully is to see into the very face of God. That's impossible.

All I'm doing here is trying. Training. Like lifting weights.

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THIS is just Autism

>>19275317
If it is, why did you even take the time to reply?

If it's truly worthless, not worth thinking about any further, why did you spend precious little time and energy to take the time to tell me that?

>>19274674
Is me, will reply later, too tired now, got a good greentext, will pretype, see you in a few hours

>>19274562
a faggot trying to be cryptic and edgy.

>>19274562
Someone is waking up but having a hard time understanding the truth

>>19275329
Because you asked what it was, idiot.

>>19275528
I'm not trying to be cryptic. I'm trying to be as clear as possible. But it's impossible for me to do that without the time and the energy

>>19275535
Maybe? But how can I understand something yet not understand it at the same time? It's like I'm neither awake nor sleep. It's like I'm dreaming.

>>19275818
Your gif implied you ignored it. But if you ignored it, you wouldn't take the time to reply to it, especially not twice. Your passionate opposition to it only proves I'm on to something and you're scared of it.

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>>19274562
>What's this a picture of?
The paradoxical nature of the Truth. Don't even try to put it into words and concepts OP. At least in my experience you can only fail. Also heads up, you might be diagnosed with schizophrenia later down the lane, at least whats happened to me when I run around trying to tell people about it.

maybe you should write poetry about it or start putting it into art instead, like other great mystics.
>pic related

Its time for us to control the manipulation of matter and become like the gods.

>>19274562
How the fuck did this malk/schizo get my spiritual research notes, why are they so incoherent, and why the goddamn fuck is it not clear that they're not me?!

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>>19275026
OP I'm this anon >>19277861

Care to stay in contact with me and maybe join my discord for that reason? discord.gg/fkzXtsw

I had the same or a similar experience twice in my life, both times sober as well, lasted for about three months each, where I got it all figured out, but could never find the words or concepts even, to properly communicate it. But your posts definitely remind me of those times and revelations I had back then.

My thought was always to gather other people who have experienced something like it so we could work together and maybe cut this gordian knot together somehow. I still think it's probably futile, but at least it could be entertaining to talk about it, and be educational for us, don't you think?

Would be neat if you'd join!

>>19274562
some larper

I kinda understand that quantum mechanic drawing. Not the meaning of it precisely but the feeling of finding "the Truth" of subjectivity/consciousness/free will in the the fluctuation of particles and their unique behaviour in quantum mechanics. Especially when you're high.

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>>19274562
you wrote a bunch of gay shit on ruled paper and then pasted on your wall and took a picture of it to post on /x/ so other roleplaying 13 year old such as you can look at it

>>19274562
That's a picture of OP's autism

You're welcome