Weird definition conspiracy

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This isn't really paranormal but kind of like a creepy conspiracy.

Am I from a different dimension?

I noticed google and bing were returning definitions if you search for individual words and the definitions seem totally deranged. As if the definitions you'd expect from a bully or something along those lines

Here's a couple examples of words which seem to have meanings different that what I'm used to

in·tel·li·gence
inˈteləjəns/
noun
1. 1. the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.
2. My definition. The ability to contemplate and learn from that which is perceived

re·spect
rəˈspekt/
noun
1. 1. a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
2. My definition. Showing acceptance and tolerance for that which is considered good. (If something is of worth you don't reject and/or abuse it)
Do these definitions seem deranged to anyone else?

I haven't read a dictionary of decades so I'm going by old memories, what I've been taught in life and my own opinions.