Why does life seem scary?

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I've been depressed and having an existential crisis lately and figured I would visit /x/ since it's the most spiritual board. I'm not very religious though I would like to be. I browse the futurologist subreddits a lot because they preach hope however small of immortality but recently that had been a turnoff as well? Both total nonexistence and infinite existence (at least while keeping memories) seems awful. But I realized I've at least done nonexistence before since I had to be born first and it doesn't seem like the worst thing in that regard? Apparently the universe itself will die unless futurologists are right so I don't exactly have a choice, but what do you guys think about immortality? I like the idea of cycling in an out of existence forever and losing my memory each time but that's impossible to prove? I like having the option to wake up when I sleep, but eventually wouldn't that be just as tiresome as never sleeping (assuming I kept memories)? In which case dying spuds like a break. But I still would like to wake up now and again...