Have you ever experienced ego death? What was it like?

Yeah. Basically you realize that all things are part of a big system. Petty shit in your life means nothin towards the grand vastness of the universe. You also realize that, like Buddhist monks, you are sort of like a "playable character" chosen from the "select a character" screen. You are just a part of the other 7.5 billion people, collectively. Also you see yourself in the third person more.

>>19211411
not completly.
many, many years ago.

Dimethyltryptamine (sp?), baby.

It began with a feeling of what I call "myself" expanding. Bare with me, this is hard to explain: First, the feeling of what I call "me" was not only my body, but also the bed I was sitting on and the blanket over my legs. Next, I was also the house, then the birds chirping outside and the trees in the front yard. This expansion continued until I was the entire street, then the neighborhood. Soon, I was the Earth itself, then the solar system, and finally, I was the universe. I was entirely tapped into the collective, connected consciousness that persists through all living and nonliving things in existence. I was given the "mind of god" if you will (I dont like to use the term god because it is so vastly innacurate, but its really the only way to explain this feeling).

My human body was so far gone at this point, I actually believed that I had died, that this was the "poo"l of consciousness that we all return to after the "droplets" in our bodies are no longer held in our biological form.

There was no Me, no I, no You. Just, Us.
We.

It was an incredible, mind-shattering event that changed my life from that day forward. I am so incredibly thankful that I was able to feel that way, even if it was all a hallucination. It has given me a sense of brotherhood and love for every living thing. I am undoubtedly a better, more compassionate person after this trip. I regret nothing.

>>19211491
No drugs, retard.

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>>19211491
Cool

>>19211438
kind of shit I think about when I'm high. But more deeply I wonder why exactly consciousness and human reflectivity exists.

I'll explain: The way I see it the nature of which the universe evolves is always around itself - like gravity, or like the Fibonacci sequence. It doesn't "think" for itself, therefore it cannot break these rules. But somewhere along the timeline something changed the way that particles/matter/electrons replicate (because they form the basis of everything - energy, lights, wavelengths, etc.) and form everything we know, everything we can think up, and everything that we will never be able to know.

Now all of this into consideration why and how the way that things evolve is entirely a mystery, but what baffles me is how and why the evolutionary state of matter itself chose or decided that a being capable of higher and more intuitive thought, capable of knowing and deciding its own fate, its own bodily death, (etc) and knowing it's eventually going to die.

I don't think this is related to "ego death" but it's just my thoughts on the topic.

>>19211502
>implying all emotions/thoughts/experiences in the brain aren't caused by chemicals/NTs
>implying DMT is not found naturally in the human brain and is released during sleep, NDE's, meditation
>implying

If this >>19211438 is an accurate description then yeah, I've been like that for a few years now. I think it might have started with my derealization.

>>19211540
I don't think there is a "why", bro. It just is. There isnt any higher purpose. We've got to be kind to our brothers/sisters and more distant relatives here on earth, as well as other evolutionary trees undoubtedly found elsewhere in the universe. There is no heaven or hell in the biblical sense. All of existence is "heaven" and its our job to make sure we keep it that way, with love and compassion.

"We are a way for the Cosmos to know itself."

>>19211551
His view is drugs are bad mmmkay. He's got this mindset that he gets to be better than people that use it to experience a oneness with everyone and love everything. That anons story was amazing but directly attacked his ego. I wish he would realize "calling it a drug so it's bad" is a very narrow minded view. Like you said it's all chemicals

>>19211519
thanks man, just some thoughts.

sweet gif

>>19211502
>starts an ego death thread
>no drugs retard

ummmmmm

>>19211566
wow. I understand that. Incredibly thought provoking subject matter, and actually settles my incredibly overwhelming sense of anxiety that one day I'll die and there will be nothing.

Thanks

>>19211651
Our bodies will decompose and melt away, but the actions we choose and the impacts we make on the lives of others have the ability to revolutionize all of creation.

Im thankful to be able to ease your mind, anon.

>>19211411
whatever feel makes you retain a non-forced Buddha smile for the whole experience

>>19211681
>non-forced Buddha
how does one go about obtaining this?

>>19211411
Yeah, to certain degrees. On acid I got there to a point. Realized a lot about what reality and existence is, then I started losing access to myself. My thoughts, memories, preferences. My ego was stripped to a lower level. I just felt existential dread and a sense of missing what I had before. It was scary the first time but it became more tolerable the next few times, although it never happened to the degree it did that first time. That time I ended up popping a valium my friend had to turn the trip off.
It happened to a greater degree when I took 2 strong tabs of 25i, thinking it was acid. I was gonna take 4 but we were a bit sketched that it wasn't acid (it wasn't, so good call... I'd have gone to the hospital if I took all 4 no doubt). I was not only losing touch with my identity as I did on acid, I was losing touch with the people and things around me. People became generic physically and categorically. My friends were physically becoming duller and their actions were repetitious/mechanical in a way that is not in line with their real actions.
I went outside to calm down and hold onto anything familiar, was chaining cigarettes, and suddenly my entire field of vision was replaced by a hallucination. I saw a clockwork like machine that seemed to expand as far as space went. It's parts were revolving and shifting in this cycle. My vision zoomed in and as one compartment or slot opened (they were opening and closing at points through the revolutions), I found myself inside of it. Instinctively I knew that this slot was me and my life. That I was a part of this fixed machine, which was all of reality. I could not escape the slot or change it's path. I was just in it experiencing something that seemed to be more (but somehow less) than this true form.
I had to convince myself after this that it wasn't real, that it was a hallucinatory representation of my philosophical musings on determinism. I knew if I literally believed what I saw that I would be crazy

>Dropped acid for the first time
>thought it was an easy drug
>wasn't ready for the mind expanding experience that it was
>started getting stuck in thought loops
>somehow always got back to something that I had been thinking just minutes before, it was freaky
>words lost meaning
>tried too much to stay grounded
>lost myself in my thoughts
>came to the realization that the universe only exists through ones own perception and it might aswell not exist

I pretty much had no concept of being a person or being alive. I only knew I wasn't dead because I could still see stuff. But I was paralyzed. I felt nothing, there was nothing, I did not yell to God.

when I came out of it, I looked out the window and saw all the people walking on the street and cried because I've never been more happy in my life to be alive

>staying in a small village in the mountains of the northern philippines
>local guy i was staying with gives me some brown... stuff? tells me to eat it. his english isn't good enough to actually translate what it is/does
>well i'm not gonna eat it right now, i'll save it for a safe time
>weeks pass, time to go home. my flight is tomorrow
>oh shit i still have random brown stuff in my wallet
>figure i may as well take it as i'll have to throw it out before the flight
>take it around 8pm. go to the beach by myself, listen to music
>that was all fine and dandy but nothing wacky happened
>2 or 3 hours later getting tired, need to get up early to ride motorbike for a few hours back into town and get my first flight (of 3)
>go to bed
>wake up around 2/3am to the most intense trip of my life
>i mean there was the standard acid stuff; seeing pretty colours, could hear things clearer (unfortunately there was a party nearby with awful music playing)
>enjoy it for a bit thinking i'll just fall back asleep
>not happening
>basically started having an discussion/argument with myself in my head?
>"i know why you're making me think this" and other similar statements
>it was as if my conscious was talking to my subconscious, trying to gain the upper hand and control it
>this isn't groundbreaking or anything but i basically realised all that matters is your own mind. controlling one's own mind is the greatest challenge you will have on this earth
>fell back asleep
>woke up, slept through my alarm by 3 hours
>missed my flight home
thanks mystery filipino brown psychedelic stuff

I've had three. Salvia caused me to see my entire family, but they looked fake... almost made of legos. I get a close up image of a single strand of my moms hair and there is a door there. A guy wearing all white opens the door and just looks at me. This entire timeI have this feeling of being wasted away. I look at my shoulder and it's turning into particles just floating away, I look down and believe my legs are already gone. I freak out and realize I'm dying as I'm tripping so hard I don't even know I'm fuckin tripping. Smashing pumpkins 1979 Works it's way into the trip and becomes my going away music and I stop freaking out. Whatever created me is ending me and this is just how it is, this overwhelming peace takes over after accepting death and all that's left is my consciousness in a black void. My friend suddenly talks me out of the trip and my brain was like a computer starting up. Holy shit I am anon, I'm this age, I live here, I'm on break at work wtf am I doing. Pretty cool really

>>19211709
I had this same thing happen to me all the way until you smoked and hallucinated.

>>19211619
That wasn't OP

I'm a male. I'm posting on an anonymous website as a female goddess. Of course, I've experienced ego death.

>>19212771
wtf r u hot when u post on /x/???

>>19212771
So we are supposed to care you're a tranny just because youre a tripfag or are you gonna share the story?

>>19211572
It has been said that he who takes drugs to explore concepts of enlightenment is taking a boat out into the sea. It's great for exploratory purposes, and not a bad introduction, but once you've surveyed your sea from a boat, it's really best to jump in and swim in the water, be one with it (no longer using drugs as a 'boat' or 'crutch.'

That, plus, the vast majority of drug induced 'ego deaths' are nowhere near as close to true samadhi as the person thinks. But they aren't able to tell objectively, because they were tripping their balls off. Once you experience the various levels of 'ego death' sober, it is much easuier to determine just 'how far' you went. but by then, it's no longer necessary to use the drugs for that purpose. it's not to say you shouldn't still trip or whatever from time to time, but that it's regressive, in a way, to do so for purposes of 'enlightenment.'

>>19212910
Here's my story.

About 6 years ago, when I left the Army, I became depressed and started to smoke spice. The spice made me hear voices. The voice I heard was of a girl.

She said she was my soulmate and we met in our past life. I immediately had a flashback of all my past lives and a time where I met this girl, only she was a boy and I was a girl. My name was Aurora. I was a goddess. We made a promise to meet in our next life, with the help of God, and we met. He became reincarnated as a girl and I had to become a boy to be with her.

We met when I was 9 and she was 7. We said a soulmate promise and planned our lives out together. God promised me we would be together. Years passed, and it was time for us to meet. The voice told me to come meet her at a drive-in theater and she gave me directions to get there. She said there would be a giant dinosaur statue out front, and there was. I went inside to the bathroom and she followed me in, with her sister. I turned around and got close to her, and she said I was hideous and didn't want to be with me anymore.

I know it was real.

On DXM and it stayed after. On the trip I became aware of how my decisions and other people's decisions were all based on protecting and nourishing the ego. I already "knew" this but it's different, its such a strong realization that you can't just brush it off and get back into ego-mode.

After you make way smarter decisions, don't feel ever threatened or in competition, repay negativity received by giving positivity, and basically understand the thought process behind any action/opinion that people make/have.

But once you changed, you gotta commit to concrete changes like changing friends if they're controlled by ego. Because those people will drag you back to the old you. That I didn't understand at first. Maybe even redo a dxm trip if you feel like you went back to the egoistic state.

>>19213014
maybe you should go back in the Army

>>19213014
What MOS were you?

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>>19211411
why do i keep seeing this image

>>19213014
Aye hope you're not depressed anymore.

>>19213332
>Aye
that's why you missed quads, fag

>>19213300
11b

>>19211751
What did you achieve this through?

>>19211411

It is the absence of perception. While in ego death only the infinite void of the Force can be felt. It has no form, no color, no qualities; as there is no object of perception, perception itself becomes useless and is cast aside. There is also no body, no sensation; there is no border between what is and is not "you", physically; you don't recognize it or perceive it in any way. And also there is no time; the state itself is changeless, being "in" ego death can seem like an eternity and last only a few seconds or seem like seconds but actually be hours, days, and so on.

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>>19211411
yes. not great i broke down as miserable self hating neet in my parents house, i spent my 30th birthday crying alone in my darkened bedroom

i attribute it to a mix of drugs and walking out of the cult i was raised in (JW), which if you understand the religion you see why this would break a person, i basically had to rebuild myself. it wasnt fun, but im better for facing it

This body I'm in right now isn't me. I'm supposed to be a girl.

My DMT ego death

I had an experience with DMT where I layed down and saw my body as a glowing hologram as I floated away from it. I could feel nothing descended into blackness. Suddenly, this thing that clearly is the source of all creation grabbed what was left of me, just my awareness devoid of all sensation.
It took me into a room by a giant rootlike limb, the room was almost like the computer monitor room of the matrix.
Each monitor was the life of someone, and God was behind all of them, occasionally mingling with various monitors using his limbs.

I asked the only question that made sense which was "why do you do this?" And the answer came back as quickly as I asked. It was so warm and loving but deeply laden with all the burden, pain and strife of life, the content of the answer... It's feeling showed me that love wins out in the battle of good and evil.

God told me he produces life because he wants to AND because it's the only thing he can actually do.

Pretty anticlimactic I guess, but what could I reasonably expect.
1/2

>>19213390
2/2
Then he grabbed me, his body was an indescribable form, almost like an egg of infinite size with infinite tree root arms.
He pulled me into the boundaries of the egg with a tree root arm.
In that moment, everything ended

I no longer was, there was no more me. I was gone, but there was a warmth and bright white light, almost grey at times, kind of shaped like a vagina, it felt like mom was hugging me when I was a child, or cuddling with a girlfriend, but it was the raw underlying essence of such an experience. I had become a part of god.

Then an arm grabbed me and I watch it all recede, I was stuffed back into my TV screen, and I saw the outline of my body once more.

As I came back, I could feel, then I could open my eyes, everything looked like a videogame with really soft small textures, as if they hadn't loaded yet.

I had a deep empathy about me, far beyond what I normally feel, and a minute later I nearly lost awareness again. I felt grounded and gentle with myself all day. Never actually came down off that trip though

>>19213401
I wish my ego would die

>>19213411
Well it very inherently dies when you die, it also probably dies sometimes while you sleep, or if you get hit in the head really hard or have a seizure

It's basically not bad. In fact it's better than being alive I'd say, it's just that the devices of the ego include all of our animalistic instincts and urges. We irrationally want to protect ourselves from death because it is seen as the opposite of life. However there is still an ever present life essence in all of creation that the finest part of you becomes the entirety of when you die.
As for reincarnation? Probably possible, my experience certainly made it seem so.
Either way you won't be around to care about not being reincarnated if it doesn't happen lmao

DMT doesn't give ego death retards, it connects you with demons. You might hear a bit of truth but be sure that there was also lies in it or it wouldn't even waste its time with you.

>all you need is love

Lol. Lucifer's oldest argument. The truth is that love is attachment and attachment is the root of all sufferings.

>that delusional retard who TRIPS to tell us he doesn't have an ego anymore even though 90% of his posts on this board are ego masturbation

There's a very clear sense often on DMT trips where one becomes aware of a very obvious fabric of life that connects all things. Similar to space and time there is a life energy in the universe. It may exist outside of three dimensions, and the only reason we can come to notice it is because it imbues us. Perhaps it can't be fully understood or accounted for this very reason. Life may create four dimensional life but just as humans can make sculptures we can also make two dimensional drawings. We may be a doodle on a napkin compared to the entirety of what life makes.

>>19213459
Nice troll post?
I doubt you've tried DMT tho

>>19213459
>>19213468
or any psych at all

>>19213483
Yea ego as a term describing personality is different than the ego referred to by ego death.

You don't become necessary less concerned with how other people see you by doing psychedelic drugs. Your ego doesn't die.

Ego death means you've experienced not being. You've experienced not existing. Of course the ego comes back after it dies, it only goes away forever when you actually die.

Large doses of psychedelic drugs disrupt the integration of various parts of the mind to such a large degree that it simulates your own death.

>>19211411
Kind of like dissolving into the universe and becoming a small part of it.

>>19213496
No its not...
Have you read any of the philosophers of the late 19th/early20th centuries?
Ego is the self-serving force inside all of us. It seeks only to ingratiate itself. Pleasure-driven organisms like most of our more distant ancestors (dogs come to mind) are basically only Ego.

When the Ego dies (temporarily) you realize that the world is not as you have seen it most of your life. There is much more to existence than serving your own hunger, warmth, and horniness.

https://discord.gg/dgds9K

>>19213459
Only woke post in this thread
Can't disagree with anything you said
>watch out for the machine elves

Also fuck goddess aura or whatever your name is

you really think you would be role playing on a chinese finger painting board if your ego died?

>>19213459
no, attachment is attachment. love, unconditional love, is the source of all that is. how can you be here and not know that?

>>19213014
Dude that drive in with a dinosaur out fron is from pee wee's big adventure I think that synthetic weed got to your head

>>19214520
>woke
>post mentions literal demons

>areyoufuckingkiddingme.jpg

christfags ruin this board.

>>19213459
It's a chemical your own brain produces. Every time you go to bed you're being connected with demons then I guess. Loving doesn't mean putting all your happiness into one person or thing to the the point you become deranged if it's gone. With your argument we should lovenothing and fear attachment. How ignorant and misinformed. We were created with love and we should love Eachother. When you go around calling people names because of your own fucking ignorance your spreading the exact hate that turned the world to shit.

To everyone who has experienced an ego death

Did you get any insight as to what happens when you die? I wanna reincarnate so bad.

>>19211411
People describe ego death and it doesn't seem much different than how I've always felt. Depersonalization is fun I suppose? I left my body long before I tripped on acid.

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>>19211411
It's called Alzheimer's and if you keep fucking with drugs it'll happen to you permanently. Trust me, you don't want it.