Size existence

Whats the point i wonder . Maybe i dont want to help you. Maybe i just want comfort in knowing this is the right decision. I just dont see the point of existing anymore. I dont appreciate it. And i hate it . Because i dont get what i what. So whats the point?be homble? I pass. So i chose to end it. I know theres something better. I just wish there was a point to it. Mmmmm theres my humanity wanting to come out. I had to gi back and read it. It already started. My death has started. Today is the beginibg. I have decided to take the jump first. I wonder if any of you will follow. I will risk it. Follow me and i will guide u the best i can. Even if u dont appreciate it, because neither do i. And theres my humanity and that is the kast thibg i will do woth my last breathe. This will take less than 1 month. To complete. In that month i will nk longer exist. And i wont be able to hellp u. U must help yourself. Y following my path. I wil go first to mane sure its safe. Dont be scared.

Its so hard to hold on. It seems pointless. I dont even want to breathe. I hope we can all make it together. Were all lost souls anyways. I am dying . My mind is leaving me. I am seizing existence. So i will tell u what i am doing. If theres anyone who wants to know.

I am comitting suicide. Not with my physical body because that would be torture. It would be terrible and i sont want to know what the experience of killing yourself is.... because it doesnt end there

Day 1 today. In 1 month i willk be dead. Kill your thoughts. Die. Let it go its okay. Im done i am killing my self it starts today goodluck i will be. Ack tomorrow day 2. When i dont come back it means i am done and dont care anymore i hope u guys make it

>>19195677
Are you going to take so many drugs that you turn into a vegetable?
What is your loss that makes you so sad?

File: 1495519736483.jpg (23KB, 552x468px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 552x468px

WOE THIS REALLY MAKES U THINK

>>19195677
Don't you fucking imbecile, do you realize what awaits you upon death by suicide? Legit hell and torment before eventual rebirth to revise the same fucking life lessons, geeze don't fucking waste your time, for fuck's sake

Any more lost souls is a slight against humanity, so smarten the fuck up.

Your body is the Temple of God, fucking honour it, don't desecrate it literally kill it, fuck, now that's a fucking sin you don't want to have on your karmic debt.
Just fucking think this through, fuck. Existence never fucking ends, we are in eternity, get a FUCKING GRIP.

>>19195714
Alright fuck off and kill yourself then you fucking degenerate, but don't you dare drag others down with you, you fucking sick cunt.

You're devoid, you don't even realize the divine spark and the power of mind, the mental universe, thought, and creation. YOU CAN LITERALLY MANIFEST THE REALITY YOU WANT if you know the fucking LAWS of the Universe, fuck man, look up the 7 Hermetic Principles at least, like fuck.

And if you still want to do it and drag others down with you, note that your karmic debt will be so heavy you will not move on for aeons. To the under pit you go, bud.

Get the fuck out of here and off this board, degenerate. No respect for you, no honour, no loyalty, no trust, fuk outta here.

Devoid of being, fuck..

File: 1497749860543.jpg (193KB, 700x875px) Image search: [Google]

193KB, 700x875px

>>19195769
No, you fuck, we are not all lost souls, some of us are fucking enlightened, bodhisattvas, high priests of the Melchizedek Order, inter dimensional beings incarnate, angels, light beings.

Yo fuck off, you're a literal demon, I fucking C U and I ain't shook.

Devoid being, devolved soul, empty lightless, divine spark missing reptoid fuck.

This is our plane, our reality, you have no influence or power here other than what you can suck from those around you, because you literally can't power yourself and you'd dissolve like the devoid beings you are if we just stopped thinking about you and giving you any attention.

No sympathy from me bud, get with Christ or get the fuck on going,

File: 4240f2f42c0b8ebfbd2c024ad809d15b.jpg (29KB, 236x325px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 236x325px

>>19195810
Eh, like what the fuck is this image even? I c u.

Kill thoughts? Fuck off, the Universe is PURE THOUGHT, get the fuck outta here.

File: Screen Shot 2017-06-24 at 4.30.29 AM.png (723KB, 996x1078px) Image search: [Google]

723KB, 996x1078px

>>19195978
this, wtf is this bud, you think you sneaky

>>19195917
No its. Not needed theres another way. And i mean this 100% i even got chills. Its something i found out accidently. I wont do drugs till i go veggie. I will kill the mind

>>19195921
Who makes me think i guess its me in the end . And the one who makes me think the last thoughts is me still. I want to help but it makes me think its pointless. The human in me wants to help everyone. But the other me says its pointless , that thats been my issue my whole life and this will just create an obstacle. But i dont want to go alone>>19195943

Im not killing the boddy , if killing the body is hell, then killing the mind is the opposite. I can vouch for it from experience. I just never had a reason too. I wanted to try!! I really did . But its pointless i give up. Its not a bad thing though its good.... i just wanted the physical :(

>>19198113
Just go shoot up the school already loser

>>19195953
You are exactly the reason why the voice tells me not to do this. But i know u arent u just dont understand. I am not killing my physical body. And this is not a drag its an opportunity that i am offering before i am gone and dont care. The human in my is leaving rhis behind my lasst human hurrah if that makes sence

>>19198113
You literally can't have the physical without the mind/mental.

The planes of correspondence are: Matter > Mind > Spirit, with Spirit being the highest form of energy and having dominion of all under it, Mind being the in-between and coordinator of Matter and Spirit, Mind has dominon over the matter/physical, which has no power over anything.

>>19195974
I see so you feel it then? You are enlightened? You feel the fuzz? The infinite tranquility? The "dream life" im. Glad i wont be alone. But i still want ro help others. Yes i am lost now, but i am doing this to be found. I know the road . Christ? I wonder if that is the right road, or if that is just a road that leads to the right road? Thats why it feels good? Honestly i wouldnt know. But good for you

>>19198102
Do it phag

Don't you have any karmic debt to pay here, people to help, trees to be planted ? Ive heard that when you suicide you stay in limbo until the day you were supposed to die. It's simply the refusal to take responsibility.

You've reached your limit ? How many people thought x was their limit, only to go past and look back at it when they've walked a million kilometers further ?

>>19198122
What? Wait until the end of your incarnation cycle, don't be rash and hasty.

>>19195978
I know what i say makes no sence. Its not supposed to be easy. But ts there. Yes kil thoughts.... of the mind only with that i believe i can handle anything plus i have nothing to lose

>>19195677
Once your dead the pain ends immediately

>>19198127
Where did you read that? Is that your final choice? Is that the lie you choose to follow in the end? Keep an open mind so u can find the answer.... i found it

>>19198128
Not necessarily Christ, any path to the divine is a good path to take.

I wouldn't say I'm enlightened, but I have a direct spiritual connection. It fuels me, nourishes me, energizes me and transmits information to me.

>>19198130
Fr though don't, who knows if you'll even have consciousness after

>>19198132
I guess i dont. I just know the pain . And we are all in the same place , it would be nice if we could get out together

>>19198134
What? Don't kill thoughts, simply meditate and learn to let go of your thoughts, to create space and breath, to allow understanding to nourish you.

Killing thoughts is near impossible and counter intuitive. It's the thoughts that carry us on into the plane, the mental-spiritual universal existence.

>>19198141
Yes thats good. But what if it actually limits you. Kind of takes you to the surface. To the top. But thats it. Its good and yeah u can breathe. But what if theres more? Would u want it? Or is that enough for you

Don't kill your mind, dude. I've heard legends saying we're sharing the same underlying mind. I don't think it's actually true, but it's something you should keep in mind for the less miserable peeps.

On a more pragmatic, grounded note, all you're going to do is leave an uninitialized bit of mind floating around waiting to be snagged. So, like, what you'll get for this exercise is two months from now you'll be one of the weirder otherkin as some snowflake entity takes the opportunity to hop in without having to go through the torture of having to first be a human baby first.

>>19195943
>Telling him not to kill himself while at the same time making him want to kill himself

>>19198153
U can kill thoughts . Kill all of them everysingle one. Then u will see something new

take med

>>19198140
Ancient Atlantean/Egyptian mystery school teachings of the inner workings of the Universe, magic, and the power of the self/mind.

Look into Hermeticism/
>>19198148
No, I feel like staying and fighting back, staying and creating a better world, relieving Earth of its collective pain... to unite as conscious co-creators with the rest of the human family, and to shape our reality and beyond the way we want, not under some other entities misguided control and rule.

>>19198154
I'm always ready to go deeper and to the next level when I'm ready and offered.

>>19198159
TRIXIES, reverse psychology, no big deal

>>19195917
My loss. Is what i cant change. I cant get anything i want. What i really want, not what i have to conform with. I mean what i have lost and cant get back. Yeah i can say i am alove and healthy and i ca. Do other things, but thats just taking the good stuff from a pile of trash. What i want is good stuff all around. And i onviously cant get that. So i give up. Again its not a bad thing. I am just scared i wonder what will happen to me. I know a wound wont hurt me. But its so scary to wonder what will be. But i guess this is my path.

This is what i was meant for. I see it now. His physical is not for me its for you guys who can handle it. And this is just my fate.

>>19198176
Just don't do anything rash Anon.

>>19198176
Look into Hermeticism and the 7 Hermetic Principles, it'll give you a blueprint for creating your own reality nearly instantly. Do it.

>>19198169
Thats what i want. There is no entity here , its just me and my pain. A small splinter that i made hell. Buy it worked.

>>19198172
Then go deeper . Idk if i knkw the answer but i know theres something else .


Day #2

Today is day 2 , the struggle is not hard its actually simple. When i get lost my eyes feel heavy, i feel like i need to sleep but i am not sleepy. This is it. This is the right road. The plan is that the "soul" ( whatever u wnat to call it) will get some rest. The mind will die . I will be a being who is living, without pain, regret, or anything else. There is no happines , there is just what it is. It is much more than happiness. It just is. Day 2, by week 2 or maybe even week 1 it should be dead. I will rest now.

This physical life is nice, but i alteady fucked my sef too much. I slipped again. This is what i dont want. This pain this regret. This that i cant do anything about. I cant just let it go!!!

And so i wil let go of the physical world and slip into a living dream.
I am
Not killing my self in the way u think

Go the opposite way anon let everything out theres nothing but love waiting for you

>>19198182
What if you could be in a life dream? Would u do it? Thats what i am doing. Its weird but i like it. I knowto some dreams dont matter. They have it better in their physical world. But i cant . And i think we always had that option. We are just lied to into thinking we only have the physical. Why? Because if theres no players in the physical world the elites cant win.

Again im sure most of u have it better. All im saying is that there are options. And i am using my option. This is what i choose to do with my life. Enough is enough. I already tried enough. I give up. I failed here. But i can still win somewhere else.

don't be scared

>>19198185
U mean pretens everything is okay? Pretend its okay ? Pretend things happen for a reason? Thats so sad ..... i refuse! I wil
Not pretend last place is okay. I wil not eat shit while u eat good food and pretend we are the same(its justa saying). I will not pretend its okay. I will not takes the leftovers and pretend its the prime good stuff. Thanks you for your left overs. But there is an unlimited amount of heavenly delight in the other side. I dont have to settle anymore.

And i cant pretend anymore. I already tried. I cant do it anymore. Not while theres another option. I will takes my other option. I cant make it here. Because its that optomistic thought, and that positive thinking that got me here. Ots my own stupidity and belief of good people. And yet here i am again trying. I never learn.

Om not here looking for help i am here offering it. There is no help for me. Its too late

baka

>>19198211
I am sorry you don't have the strength to carry forwards. I was in your shoes very recently, it seemed as if I had used up all the life energy given to me. I think I just wanted to keep living, even with no purpose, and somehow the universe decided to give me 20 more years.
I am an avid lucid dreamer, I know of the infinite places one could go, all they could do. I really wonder why we try here, I just figure its some kind of challenge, to overcome impossible odds. The deck in the physical universe is always stacked. I hope that wherever you end up, that it is better than here. I hope you find the love in your heart, that can be used for creating a more fulfilling existence.

>>19198213
Really? Im just scared that i will miss out. That i shouldnt have given up? Maybe things would have goten better here. But your right. I will go with it. I mean maybe this is my path right? Maybe this is my life getting better. Thank you

Again i am here to help you guys. Anyone who wants it. I will tell u how . The way i learned at least. I just want to walthrough it with u. Kinda like my gratitute for this. I just dontthink saying thank u is enough. And with this i will be able to take my gift happy. Maybe this is for me and not for you, bu i think its for both of us

>>19195677
If you kill yourself you won't be able to shitpost anymore

>>19198257
U get it. Im glad i am not alone in this. I will make it an eternal dream.

I think the secret is in killing thought. What if u didnt think negative thoughts, but dont stop there. What if u killed all thoughts whats left? Because in order to think positive thoughts u have to think of the negative as to why its positive. So u arent really stopping the negative thoughts u are just covering them.

If u dont think anything what happens? That is what im doing im killing all thoughts. I am killing my self in mind. Know what happens? U sleep you dream. And if u could do it all day in life? U have a dream life.

I know it may not be the right thing to do. But its something. And its all i got and im doing it. And i can tell u it is a good option. Life changes . Good or bad i dont know. But it takes me away from this pnysical world i cant deal with

>>19198299
If you kill thought you become an animal.

>>19198134
So who do you expect to take care of your drooling mindless body, or worse, your insane half-fucked mind that can still perceive pain and discomfort but will be filled with confusion because it can't actually understand anything anymore?

I will say now that whoever you're banking on, don't expect them to do it. Other people have lives and will go on living them, leaving you to rot in some institution. If your family isn't rich, that's going to be a shitty nursing home provided by your government.

>>19198312
No we are not animals. The thing is this is not the first time i have done this. It is just the time i have deicded to do it forever. We dont become animals we are humans. It becomes like playing a sim game. U watch and do stuff and u dont have to deal with the painful thoughts thats alll. Thats the option im taking

>>19198276
Be careful of dreams, I stretched myself too thin, and all the incongruity between sleeping and waking was making my mind too distant to have contact with life.

I had far disconnected the mind from the body, it wasn't able to access the physical repository of memory and emotion that I had grown with through childhood. Sexuality became such an alien, mechanical feeling, disconnected from the process and experience of life in my body.

I found the switch, between halves of my brain, and I had flipped it towards only having awareness of the ego. The other side became disconnected when I was unable to face and process the experiences that reality, both physical and spiritual, was presenting to me.

My past lives, my multitude of deaths, the dreams that ended, the loves that I left behind, the memories of those I had forgotten, memories of myself. All was lost, but now A new awareness has been awoken. I found my heart to create an entire shell of conscious experience, that was parallel, but not dependent, on my physical body. Its like the mind I left behind, became its own full bodied being, existing in a flux. Its memory and awareness arises in me when I abstain from sexuality, like the energy was creating a new shell to place the experiences in. Now its like both sides of my brain see and control the body in a different way, like I have 2 sets of nerves to control my arms, I switch between them, trying to bring the physical and mental into intelligent contact once more.

>>19198317
if you become the observer, who will be the one to experience the world?

File: 14338166.jpg (57KB, 600x480px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 600x480px

Don't kill yourself, faggot.

>>19198321
Yeah thats what i fear but really it cant be much worse than feeling powerless to do anything. I get what your saying too. But i have a theory too. It got to the point whete i didnt dream anymore. I just woke up lived my life. Then i really woke up! It was weird. But i think with this i can have a chance at trying things and see how it goes then rewlly do it. Of course thats a theory. I just want a. Ew way of living i cant adapt my self to this one
>>19198333
I am the observer and i live the life . But as an observer controlling it without the downside of thoughts.

>>19198387
I found that I could still 'dream' with just my mind, but mostly they didn't have much awareness or meaning in them. When I have nightmares I wake up and realize I was disconnected from my heart a lot. I reconnect with that feeling within, then I start to have lucid dreams, that are good and they have meaning to me spiritually. I still seem to have some barriers to go through, but they heart always gets me out of the lower levels of the astral and into something where I at least have conscious directive of my actions, some levels of magic, and the ability to get 'answers' from the spiritual awareness.

>>19198321

Wow.

I went through that exact same experience from the first word to the last.