How do I make a deal with the Devil?

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>>19164746
Receive your janitor acceptance e-mail from 4chan

Summon him using a pentagram of some sorts (it'll probably take a few tries) and see if you can negotiate from there

He comes to you and interacts with you.

Really though, if you're not a righteous person what is your soul really worth?

Why do you think he hasn't come to you already?

Your soul is as good as gone as it is, there's no need for coercion.

>>19164768
Well said anon, if you were worth a fuck, Satan would be banging down your door.

>>19164772
I could be wrong about it, that's just my sense of things on this matter.

for all intents and purposes human beings themselves are souls. the term soul just means self.

I don't believe in an eternal soul. Your body is your soul.

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>>19164749
kek

sign a contract to promote an item you don't like
for money

>>19164800
everyone does that when they become burger flippers and cashiers.

>>19164808
>implying people don't get jobs at restaurants they like

>>19164772
the thing is, even if youre worth shit as a soul, satan would still make a deal. it would make u useful for his other deals..

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>>19164746
Satan doesn't want to be associated with any of weirdos on 4chan.
It would be bad for his reputation.

>>19164855
>bad for his reputation
>implying he gives a fuck

>>19164867
remember when jesus said to peter "get ye hence satan"?

it's kind of like that, the devil manifests in people, even rich evil people hate homeless lazy drunks.

the whole thing is kind of complicated

>>19164768
Satan comes inside me everyday. He's just a faggot. Really he just needs a friend. This is all he knows.

>>19164878
in dantes inferno, the game, he's portrayed as a goat man with giant horse penis.

I'm sure you have your reasons for letting satan come inside you.

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>>19164878
>Satan comes inside me everyday

don't meditate on the devil too much if you want my advice

that's how a lot of people lose their marbles.

>>19164890
yeah but my boi crowley stared at a mirror for several years and he got a mansion, hella orgies, and retarded amounts of success

>>19164883
I always pictured him as a woman with a massive dong because he is just so emasculated. He's always cool you know? Like nothing can psychologically phase him. He's here forever man. This is his world after all. Might as well get used to it. Funny though all he's worried about is what God wants.

>>19164896
That's interesting, when I first started to lose my marbles I was staring in the mirror a lot.

>>19164915
you know, funny story, women are so up on themselves, I knew a witch who said she would have a massive dick if she had one, like women can just say that and they never actually have to measure up for it to be true

god I hate life

>>19164940
If you believe something? Does that make it true? Or does it become true through time? What we believe is the power to change. Science and spirituality go hand and hand almost like they are dependent on each others existence. Your feelings are more real than you think.

>>19164957
I'm at a loss, because I think you're right, but I only believe bad things about myself and so those things are made manifest.

How do we change our beliefs?

>>19164973
I use drugs lol. Vitamins, mind altering substances, weed. Just try to, you know, forget about those problems that aren't really real. Work on those that you can. Be sensible but also make sure you balance yourself. My idea of the soul is that we become what we are destined to be through all our actions and inactions. Our subconscious are closer to God than you realize. That's why people get depressed, mad, sad, suicidal. Because they lose sight of what their God wants. Their subconscious chooses to make the conscious mind suffer to make you consciously realize what it is you want and you are.

>>19165037
that's really insightful and strangely self evident.

>>19165048
You start to think and rationalize yourself more and more when you isolate yourself.

>>19164877
It's more simpler than you think. Wake up and smell the coffee.

>>19164940
>I knew a witch who said she would have a massive dick if she had one
Just make comments about tit size

>>19165075
I have more reason to be humble then that.

>>19165075
my friend at the time put her in her place when they argued about music or something

such a long time ago

You don't. Watch vids online or on TV about faggets who have crossed the devil. It's literally known that no matter what you get, you lose in the end. Literally watch anything from people who have done it. If they haven't suffered yet, they will.

>>19165146
everyone suffers in life

everyone

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>>19165298
What about suffering AFTER life m8

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>>19164749

>>19164890
Don't "meditate" with the entrance to your asshole touching my dick too much if you want MY advice, either.

That's how a lot of people say "OHHHHHH! FUCK YEAH! OH GOD FUCK ME YOU NIGGER! OHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

>>19164746
Joy of Sat an . org

As for the site, well the Devil is a known liar, but the dedication ritual should work.

>>19164878
Topkek Satanfag

>>19164746
You don't

test