First Perceptions

my first werd was redrum... my conciousnes glitches in and out when looking at memories i have exact memories of it fading and reingaging completey different... peicings the disjointed peices together i remeber being killed as myself as my earliest memory, slaughtered repeatedly, i read that its something akin to a mix of ibrahemic hell and bhudist shambala. lots of blood fire red black and it all ties into the lighting they use in the city, the standard orange glow of sodium radiated with electricity , electrons jumping valence to a lower entropy level ejecting photons... desu i think im extrealmy suseptable too all forms of mischeif from demonic possesion to psychmanip and any ill will irks me eternaly, i have to the point that i hear everyones thoughts constantly and most of them make me extreamly uncomfortable.... typing this was cathartic attempt to locate my earliest memories, im def a wind spirit, like 75 something % of my natal chart is air elements but im an apex water sign with a near apex fire triad... they say that time is an illusion, and all that ever exsisted was / is / will be the current moment, and there is a specific top clock speed operation to conciousness that finates far beyond max plankes constant,

>>19164679
thats not what im talking about at all

>>19164393
I remember standing up in my crib hearing the boiler, it was loud I wanted out.

>>19165316
It was in me gram's house in me da's room

>>19164679
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7Xx2MVWZ6I
Hey. I also have mostly air, and a bit of fire. Very little earth or water. This video was created by a very good friend of mine, before he graduated 3rd density consciousness. I saw that you said that about the light from that lamp. Here he is channeling spirit through a common street light. I think maybe it can help you.

>>19164393
>first perceptions of reality
elaborate for my neanderthal brain. I don't quite understand what you mean

I remember watching my mother folding laundry.

I have weirder memories with glitchier timestamps that claim to be before that, but my first experience of such "memories" was much later.

>>19165364
I think he means "your first ever memory" like when you were three or something.

>>19165447
Well if that's the case, I suppose the earliest thing that I believe comes to mind was when I visited a somewhat wealthy relative's house.
>only remember a huge dining hall with dark brown wooden walls
>apparently it was easter, remember the eggs hidden
nothing too strange about that

My first memory was taking by diaper off to take a shit in my mom's flower bed. It was green.

mine was the day we were moving out of our poverty stricken house to go to a new place across town.

I was sitting on the bare floor watching cockroaches skittering along the edges of the room, and I was trying to remove a spider from my pile of mega blocks. I think eminem was playing on the radio (he was just getting big, this was mid-late 90s) my grandad was helping us move, so when I heard my parents talking about how he was arriving in a few minutes, I got a pretty spot on image in my mind of what he looked like despite this being my frist 'conscious' moment

I suppose I'd seen him before a number of times and I was just getting to grips with language, but the way I got a brief flash of a mental image of my grandfather at that moment is almost surreal in retrospect.

i guess most vivid one was waking myself up on a saturday morning,
Turning my tv on as a 3 year old, getting a paper and a pen out ready to watch steve and blues clues.
sitting on the couch periodically getting up running around pretending i was a part of the show, writing clues down and what not.

>>19164393
>There is no soul.
>Your sensation of consciousness is the result of your brain developing over time and becoming aware of its surroundings.
>If your brain dies you die.
/thread

>>19165700
>it was green
the flower bed or the shit?

>>19165726
>skims OP's shit
>see's "soul"
>fedora atheism triggering intensifies
>must leave a blatantly obvious remark as if nobody knew
>feel so intelligent and above society
>/thread cuz I saw it somewhere else
'kay

>>19164393
>>Souls can contain information causing that little moment of checking >You can participate in actions without perceiving them: learning english, fine motor skills and even traumatic events such as a fire at my house.


All of which can be explained by the functions of the brain. So. What distinction does a soul have?

>>19165731
The shit.

>>19164756
he's just describing his experiences, which is what you asked of him..

I just remember waking up at night one day,in my bed next to my mom. I felt a sudden rush of something,and i was breathing heavily. In my mind i recollected information about me,like my name and how old i am.

>>19164393
My first memory is really close to this I remember waking up going downstairs and consciously questioning whether or not anything had ever happened at all before that day because I couldn't remember specific experiences before that. Shit made me think I was in the matrix and I was like 3 part of the reason I could see all the simulated reality stuff going around being true

>>19165798 These are actions that are taken but are apparently unconscious. The other fact is that I know that i was unconscious. If I hadn't known then it would have been remembered as just another day, and all of my previous memories from before i was conscious would have come back to give context I can mark the day down and say "this is the first time I perceived something" even though my senses had been doing that for my infancy. If it was only my brain then I would have not noticed anything off. It had an effect on my thinking.

Looking up at the fluorescent lights of the closet my bed was halfway inside.
The next is waking up in the evening twilight in my bed.

A large dark room with a patch of bright light on a part of one of the walls, have always thought that this was the hospital but it could have been the womb. Next was a dream that I attribute to some sort of past-life remembrance. I was in a mall and there were vending machines with dead people in them, details are extremely foggy but I was in the center of everything and I fell and there was a sense of dread and terrible anxiety and pain, but the dream started over again and it was blissful and when I fell it was peace.

>Be me, maybe >3 years old standing in crib, grasping bars for support
>think to myself, how can I fuck with these people (parents)
>ponder if I should force something before the old me slips away
>Debate between being good at science or math
>take third option,
>Escape crib, rip down curtains and drag it towards lit candle in kitchen
>Mother in bathroom no one sees me
Wrap self in curtains and attempt to light them on fire
> I am weary of this world
>Get caught by mother
>My word, ever since then til the age of seven my birthday wish has been to not exist
>Young me also thought eating as monotonous and not really worthwhile

Is there something wrong with me?

>>19168045
Are you some kind of monster or just fucking with us?

>>19164393

Flipping through DNA, in a sphere of pulsing purple/blue/green, discussing with a bunch of other beings that I felt really relaxed and comfortable with, we come to some kind of agreement then that memory ends. Next memory I am pre-1ish in a crib and frustrated that I can understand them but they can't understand me, can't emulate the sounds correctly; everything's blurry but what I'm focusing on too.

Screaming for my mother in a crib

I don't know if it was real or an early dream, but I'm pretty sure it's the moment I became conscious because I remember that I stopped screaming

Past life included?

Getting married to my wife

My first memory is being taught how to pray by my mom. Another early memory was thinking about space and if you traveled up in a spaceship if it would be the same world, but only everything is blue or yellow.