My lamp keeps turning on and off. It's unplugged.
For sale: baby.
Still wearing shoes.
>>19141724
fpbp
i did a big poo
but who was phone?
>>19141709
A man is following me home.
He looks exactly like me.
>>19141709
You can look for monsters everywhere! But never look up, she hates being seen.
I heard a child crying from outside the window last night
I went to check and remembered I live in the 8th floor
Wanna hear something spooku?
Skeletons are living inside of us!
>>19141724
For sale: baby.
Never worn.
Heared the neighbours scream and bang to the walls.Strange, cuz they died in a housefire last year.
>>19142759
U know u could have added to that
>>19142762
2 sentences, m8. Or does the latter one not count as a sentence?
>>19142677
gave me a giggle
>>19142759
>>19142747
Keep hearing the neighbors screaming and banging the walls. I never should have bought them those suction dildos.
>>19142759
Fine I'll fucking respond. This is the second sentence of my story.
but who was phone? xfiles theme plays
>>19142777
Linking these triples, which I have never seen. They have profound prophetic significance.
>>19142759
the last thing you 've eat
tasted like my cock
>>19142793
That would be corn flakes. I think you've got a problem, anon.
>>19142789
We're all going to die.
>>19142793
>>19142800
This guy will die of diabetes.
>>19141709
Everyone has to die. But did it have to be today?
>>19142759
You are a faggot. And always will be.
>>19142759
I will not reply.
I saw doge again last night. Then I remembered that doge doesn't pay rent.
>>19141709
There came a knocking at my door in the early hours of dawn. It was Mormons.
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy you a fur coat.
But not a real fur coat; that's cruel.
>>19142759
Nigger
>>19141709
Enter OP, the faggot. He makes a thread.
>>19142759
oh you piece of shit
The warm sensation trickled down my leg.
I sharted.
>>19141709
I came deep in her fucking ass. She's pregnant.
>>19142759
fucc off
>>19144468
fucking lel
>>19141885
holy shit
>>19141709
Someone keeps sliding notes from the other side of my door. My closet door.
>>19142759
Jokes on you, my mother's already dead. HAHAHA- aw, I just made myself sad.
>>19141709
god told me to kill myself. I'm already dead.
>>19141709
I talked to my uncle over the phone yesterday. He died last week.
>>19141709
The WiFi is down.
I have a BlackBoard assignment due.
>>19142759
fuck
My girlfriend showed me a positive pregnancy test today. I'm sterile.
>>19142759
Pls dont kill her pls
>>19142759
last night i seened doge out in the moonligt and he was smoken weed
he turned around and saud Wow i Am Doge and then i run inside
>>19142759
While you're reading this message, it's looking at you. Can you feel it coming closer?
>>19141709
The beast let out a long, steamy, hot growl from beneath the table. I sure hope I didn't shart myself.
>>19142759
Don't please
>>19142759
(You)
My rectum keeps gaping open and closed. It's unplugged.
>>19141885
>spooku
>>19145086
I talked to my uncle over the phone last week. He died yesterday.
>>19142759
Holy shit thats spooky!
Mom calls.
From the grave.
>>19141709
i went for a walk today. but i had no legs
WTF!!!!!!!
>>19142759
Fuck off
My husband came to bed late last night. He dies ten years ago.
You look yourself in the mirror.
Your reflection blinks.
>>19142759
fagott
ring, ring, phone ring
WHO WAS CALL
Aliens came to my window. Am now able to hear people dying across the globe.
>>19147312
My reflection blinks, thats normal. But i cant see it.
>>19147285
>He dies ten years ago
Call down Doc.
>>19147321
one time you will see your reflection blinks... soon i belive. i know. you wont belive it. it will haunt you for the rest of your life why, and how was this anon right. just emagine me talking to you in 3 difrent pitches of normal deep and high.
>>19147341
You walk by walmart. Looking left, there is a man being beaten up by 5 scented 50lbs dildos covered in piss, cum and doritos.
>>19147353
im not in the plane you exist.. i just look like a human being..
>>19147353
>>19147365
Your mothers name is Elisabeth.>>19147365
>>19147370
Who was phone?
>>19141709
I just broke wind.
In HELL.
>>19147378
i thought just broke my neck.
It was only the noose...
>>19142759
That scares the man
>>19147377
the wrong number, inocent one...i feel your pain.
go out tommorow. follow those crows. find a path.
walk that path open your mind and you will find a grave...think about how it reflects your image in this world.. you are not alone in that closed box.there are billions.spit on it 3 times and walk away dont turn around.
WAS I ACCURATE ENOUGH?
The last man on earth tries to fall into troubled sleep.
He then gets bummed.
>>19147389
Do not be scared. this is just another sharlatan who thinks he's deep but trully he is insecured as rest of us are...even me and im not even from this planet. i was raised like a shroom that one that got away.. i am most of you. i am more than most of you. i dont put names to be recognisable in here. im just here to suck up all of your foolish fears.
Your mother and grandmother were both named Ann
>>19147401
No mother. just a reclusive paranoid who dug way too deep so some words are meaningless...
tonight you will have a sleep paralasys since it will be 666/ dont tempt with me. i can be in your wall watching you right now. that plane wall with off color green.. i dont need to continue you already belive me.
>>19142759
I heard my aunt call my name when I walked into her home. My phone rang, my mother told me she just died in the hospital.
>>19147411
Haha all my walls are white faggyfag
>>19143746
damn that skeletons got TITTIES
I see you.
>>19147419
Scared? yes you are. have unpleasent dreams. find me if i see you on these boards. maybe ill reverse the curse... but its highly unlikely that i will notice you.. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF ANY OF MY THOUGHTS, scared little bug...
I TRANCENDED REPTILIAN GODHOOD INTO INSECTS!
>>19147432
Nah, im not scared of x trolls
>>19142759
fag
>>19147432
If you see me what is my timezone in UTC+-
>>19147222
checked
>>19147468
YOUR TIME AND TIMEZONES ARENT OF MY CONCERN... probably india.
>>19142759
Ur a bitch
>>19142759
juhygj
"Mr Smith, all of your bone marrow has been replaced with tarantulas."
"Please try and keep calm."
>>19146892
Made me laugh
>>19145274
I don't get it
>>19142775
Under fucking rated.
>>19147317
It was probably man hook car door.
>>19147936
It's from Silent Hill 2. It's left pretty unclear, but holes are a recurring theme in the game, representing a descent into one's own mind.
>>19141709
I stepped on a lego. It hurt.
>>19141709
Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died.
Mom tells me to stop playing outside with my friends. But my new friend Harry thinks i shouldnt listen to my mom so we can play outside forever.
I like giving homeless people cooked meat. They think my friend Sally tasted pretty good.
Damn that brazillian waxing hurt like hell.....
Wait, wheres my peenor?
ayy yo man
watch yo jet
Wassup cracka? Gimme all yo money.
What's a good social cause to support?
Black lives matter.
I live in a nightmare.
I can't wake up.
>>19141734
Underrated
The bird enthusiast awoke to the smell of blood in the air. He had left the ceiling fan on again.
It was 3am and the streets were bare, I was alone. The payphone rings.
>>19147401
what
>>19146871
It's a Japanese horror sub genre
She told me she only tops. I didn't realize what that meant until she had a dick bigger than mine
>>19141709
Turn around.
Bright eyes.
>>19147401
Not risking that shit nigga
the only people who are actually trying in this thread have all written stories where the second sentence says the person in the first sentence is already dead
this thread is already dead
I sat on the park bench to eat my sandwich. When I took a bite, I gagged a little, coughing up a fingernail.
>>19147468
Silent? Thought so.
I went to McDonalds.
I didn't even have time to eat fries.
>>19141734
Kek
My 4 years old son plays with an imaginary friend.
She is an anime character that he has not seen yet but i recognize from years ago.
I live alone I leave my lights on at night and door shut. I just woke up and everything is off and my door is smiling at me.
>>19149781
13614613613 kings fly up lol
I just paid a hooker in advance,
But I'm a gay tranny with erectile dysfunction.
>>19147401
(You)
>>19142759
Fuck
>>19141709
I maed sandwitch and bite it.
Bloods came out.
>>19147528
Nope...
welp its concluded that trolls are bad at guessing
>>19150361
europe ...serbia. ;)
They could only find pieces of her.
The town was never really the same after that.
>>19147401
I don't wanna risk that
Don't try to lie
Somebody in here recently fucked with the Ouiiji board and called out to the dead, so I've arrived
>>19150361
The FBI comes to your door.
They tell you they've been monitoring your internet activity for the past five years.
Sorry, this was the only way to get it to you.
Group 2 has also forgoten so your the last one left.
>>19147401
:)
>>19147401
Eat every inch of my ass and die the same death I do
>>19147401
.
>>19142759
Fuck you faggot.
>>19141791
thats your shadow dumb nignog
I had a very realistic nightmare that I was an albino breaking into people's houses and cutting their penises off while they sleep. Luckily, I realized it was just a dream, since I'm not an albino.
>>19150374
The weegee board
It's a stone luigi
You didn't make it
>>19150369
Continent, country...i aSked utc time
>>19150818
reflection in a window
>my mom bought a new costume to my little brother yesterday
>today in the morning my mom has weared with it to the baby
>my brother are crying more hard than another days
>he says that under his bed a girl smiles him
>she says he that he looks like a teddy bear
>my brother is scared
>my mother go out with her boyfriend
>the baby scream
I can hear my grandmother calling my name in the hallway. We buried her 2 days ago.
This is some delicious meat. I'll have to remember to swing by the graveyard again tomorrow.
>>19141709
need: nappies, dummy, blankets
none of this now needed; baby dead
My neighbor told me he met one of the new arrivals in our neighborhood. He said his name was Jamal.
>>19156437
ohshi-
>>19141709
the last man on earth hears a knock on his door. a.
Knock Knock. There's nobody there?!1?!
>>19141855
Spookay
The last human on earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock at the door.
I brutally fucked burrito in his tiny pooter hole. He died.
I saw reality collapse into nothingness...again
I told my daughter she'd never step foot in my house again. She went on a date with a nigger and was murdered.
>stick cucumber in fridge, nobody care
>stick cucumber in baby, everybody mad
I am writing from my casket
Bottom text
You enter your beautiful house. You hear grunting and your beautiful wife moaning.
hear noises come from garage even tho i was home alone. it was my drunk uncle trying to get into our house without knocking.
son has this "friend" that talks to him that is a spirit. son's spirit friend told him that pharaoh was weak.
>>19148852
>>19141709
I live a perfect dream.
I can't sleep.
>>19157706
Fucking someone's wife in her home.
Here someone at the door.
>>19141709
Front door's locked but opens with a gust of air.
Lock it again, begin to sweat and door opens with a gust of wind. "Thanks", Wind then howls.
>>19148852
Wtf is this tumblr tier shit
>>19150073
kek
>>19141709
Become extremely Horny, take laptop to empty bedroom, fap to hentai from 2am til 5am.
Saw a pair of floating yellow eyes (female?)during blistering hot fap.
>>19157769
>two sentences
>post 3
Two identical men walking side by side are following me home. "Check'Em."
>>19141836
Poorly written but cute implication for someone at a computer screen.
>>19142775
nice post
>>19148176
DEUUEAUGH
>>19158170
woulda been great
>>19141885
nooooooooooooooooooooo!
I walked into an outhouse.
I fell in.
I'm watching you.
In the loo.
>>19141709
>>19141734
>>19142786
>>19147317
>>19147377
>>19149339
I stared at your lifeless corpse as I tossed the cheese cutting wire I had just strangled you with onto the floor. I was phone, bitch.
Capeshit, reboots, remakes and sequels own the cinema.
This won't end anytime soon.
>>19158243
So much old shit in the movies you need an enema.
Still a great place to get some poon.
I needed to report a robbery.
Every policeman I could find was black.
>>19142775
Good one anon fucking kekd
>>19156285
Why the fuck would you do that?!
>>19141709
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I'm a schizophrenic ..AND SO AM I!
I just can't stop having sex with my wife.
I just wish they'd stop putting so much dirt back on her casket
My daughter just screams and screams all day and night.
I thought it'd stop after her funeral but she's persistent
Woke up with a hangover in an unfamilliar room, and turned to look at the person who was spooning me and screamed. Fuck, your mom is ugly in the morning.
>>19147970
Yeah that's not what it means you newfag cunt
>>19141885
You are brain.
You live inside the skeleton.
>>19158545
Please enlighten us all then, what does it "mean"?
>>19142775
>>19147970
>>19158545
What? We have a rating system?
>>19158556
NO! BULLSHIT, THIS IS BULLSHIT!
>>19158545
>>19158594
>>19158597
It means use your head, 4chan doesn't have a rating system, you are clearly from reddit. Stop posting and lurk moar
>>19158605
You must be incredibly new if you've never seen someone call a post underrated.
>>19157706
THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE
>>19158484
schizophrenia and dissociative personality disorder are different things but cool joke at the expense of the mentally ill my man
I jacked my dick like a jackhammer.
I'm a quadruple amputee.
>>19157385
The last human on earth sat alone in a room. There was a lock on the door.
>>19158461
She was a reptilian
>>19148852
Wake me up!
>>19144811
Nice
>>19157669
Underrated
Minnesota cop found not guilty in shooting death of black motorist, Philando Castile.
Black lives matter.
I thought his mask looked pretty tacky. Then he blinked.
after opening his eyes
it moved
>>19141709
Don't worry, I'll be gone by morning. Besides, you can just close your curtains if it bothers you that much.
As I watched Dark City I contemplated what might it feel like to stop with time, rather than stopping time itself.
How many times have you awoken from the void of black and blank stares, where our mind did wander but cannot recall the journey?
You pour the cereal into the bowl.
There's no milk in the fridge.
Someone keeps calling my name. I'm deaf.
>>19141709
got framed into something I didn't do
T. it actually happened
>>19149320
Nice
>>19149875
Best so far
There is nothing to do, and there is no where to go. There is nothing to be, and there is no one to know
>>19147312
You look yourself in the mirror.
Your reflection's black.
>>19154778
Can someone translate this to English? Google translate comes up with gibberish.
>>19158237
rude
>>19141709
wake up to pee, see weird shadow figure move through hall without moving legs.
brother's are asleep, doors all locked, follow to where it went, see it go through wall.
Yesterday the dr performed some routine blood work. today, I got a call from them saying that they need to see me urgently.
>>19163545
true horro right there. especially when it happens to your loved ones.
*Puts feet in your lap*
Lick them.
>>19142759
Not bad
remember all those embrassing things you did as a kid?
it won't end there, your life's not over
"Damn rats have been clawing inside these walls for ages, can hardly get a wink of sleep; started seeing things."
He took another swig of Whiskey, "Drove me crazy they did, 'cause just as I thinking to hammer the damn wall down a little hole made it's way out- could'a sworn a finger was etching it's way though."
>>19145510
frozen in place, I couldn't check under the table as it brushed my leg ever so slightly.
I would've liked company but not like this.
>>19148244
I don't have any friends-well, I do but I don't. do they count if they're inside you?
The year is 2070. I am the last white person alive and everyone wants me dead.
>>19157706
Looks like mandingo is on the prowl
>>19141709
I was sure you were dead!
Turning to me, pale as a ghost he whispered, "I am sure you are too."
>>19150854
Kek
>>19141709
I see her standing just outside my reach.
It was then I realized I was by the cliff side.
>>19141709
"Goodnight dear."
I live alone...
>>19141709
It left for a moment.
It came back smiling, wearing his skin.
In 2017 there will be men and women
both of which can and cant have penises
>>19141709
I always thought hell was a place where bad people went when they did something wrong.
I never intended to go to New Jersey.
>>19158237
Autist.
>>19141709
It looked funny from here.
I don't remember my body being so headless.
The sun is up and I can feel it nice and warm on my face and it's blinding me through my curtains. Which is funny, because my phone says it's 2:41AM.
My husband's eyes follow me around the room. Glassy and cold but still flirtatious.
>>19162354
Topkek
It doesn't matter how many times I wind my watch; someday I am destined to die.
Your little sister sits in your lap.
Your hips start moving on their own
she told us that if we assisted with her research, we would never again have to listen to our landlord's angry demands for our rent. technically, she was right.
>>19158854
Faggot
>>19165426
anon spent so much time at his computer calling people faggots that he never noticed his father spending more and more time away from home, sucking my dick in dirty library bathrooms. at least, not until he disappeared for good.
>>19145086
>>19146892
I talked to my uncle on the phone yesteday, which was Saturday. I don't have an uncle.
Fumbling for the key I approached the door when I realize I'd forgotten my paperwork.
A short trip to the desk and back, box in hand I leave through the door.
>>19144598
>>19147317
>>19158325
>>19162187
Under rated as shit Jesus Fucking Christ
Mine:
As I was climbing outside of the tunnel, God himself opened his arms and welcomed me into Paradise. Only when I felt the burning pain in my feet after stepping in did I realize he hada hateful fire in his gaze, and a pair of horns.
Frozen in fear I bolted breathless into my apartment. Turns out I did shut the iron off but not the tv.
the midnight men came last night. They know.
Took a dump without TP. Wut do?
I saw it. Did it see me?
>>19165635
This. Many lols
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.
>>19165671
I don't get this one
I yanked on burrito's hooters until he cried. Then I cock rammed him up against the refrigerator until his asshole was blown out and I threw him in the garbage.
>>19164666
Nice try Satan! Stop trying to scare good old christian boys who did not do anything wrong. We do not fear you or death?
>>19142747
Bro that was fucking lit
I can't imagine why my sister was so angry and violent with me today. The whole funeral we're throwing her is tomorrow, she should just be patient!
>>19162161
There is nothing to do, and there is no where to go.I wanna be sedated.
These threads are full of Karl Pilkingtons. I love it.
>Ghost comes around. Turns out.....lil monkey fella
The following sentence is true.
The previous sentence is false.
>>19163668
I met a guy who can make your wish come true for the price of 1 year of your life. Turned out I had nothing to offer.
We missed you the other day.
When are you coming home?
>>19148852
goerge washington was a nigga
It's funny, I almost didn't get a wink of sleep last night.
But then I thought "I'd love to be possessed" and went to sleep.
>>19158815
LETTING THE DAYS GO BY, LETTING THE WATER HOLD ME DOWN
My phone is ringing after being drained of it's battery.
Who was phone?
Who is it for?
But for can be with!
>>19147402
What was it, its deleted and I want to know
>>19164666
Satan confirmed
>>19163996
That's like five sentences with terrible punctuation
>>19169642
Bro, do you even shake spears?
Dad. I'm gay
I spoke to my mum on the phone last night. I don't have a phone.
I had to shit real bad from 4 tabasco pork enchiladas I ate. when I got up from the toilet bowl it was empty.
>>19158858
>List_of_animals_with_opposable_thumbs
>>19141709
Thumbtack vanished from a poster, bothered the fuck out of me being OCD.
A week later, i sat on said thumbtack in my computer chair, I live alone.
(True story)
I fucking know right
I live on the first floor. I still fell down the stairs.
Scientists have solved the mystery of Time. It's a byproduct of light being sucked into a black hole.
There was something strange about Bigfoot when he came home today. It turns out he was a Dracula too.
As the world faded to black, my playful echos of "hello, hello", were replaced by the echos of someone screaming "Help me!"
The bullies have been tossing me into the deep end of the swimming hole lately. Today I swam to the suface gasping for air, I inhaled after clawing at rocks and mud.
How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Nine months.
>>19144584
woo lad
>>19145210
fuck good and relatable
stranded inside your car on an empty road
man door hand hook car door
So a paraplegic walks into a bar.
>>19175444
Checked and keked
>>19166983
Hey that was pretty good
>>19141709
Meesa Jar-Jar Binks.
Meesa your humble servant.
>>19176274
Crashing this plane. WITH NO SURVIVORS.
I never leave my room on Tuesdays.
The bananas coming down the stairs, will catch me unawares..
Close, lock, and face away from all windows and doors. Do not acknowledge anomalous faces.
my mama says alligators are angry cause they got all them teeth and no toothbrush
mamas wrong again
The last man on earth sat alone in a room. Suddenly, aliens burst through the door.
>>19160470
Before you go--oh!
>>19176326
why was that so funny to me
>>19147401
oh god no
The beautiful girl bent down.
BRAAAAAAAAAAP.
>>19164171
This will be true if nothing changes. Civilisation will stagnate, then nature returns.
>>19164243
>>19177677
>pic related
why the fuck do people care about diversity so goddamn much.
VR IS THE FUTURE!
VR is already dead.
>>19177755
Jews coo the sheep. Whites virtue signal to their own extinction to prove how nice they are.
This. Fucker.
The last man on earth sat alone.
There was a knock on the door.
Surrounded by others;
alone in the woods
Life is beautiful. You're going to die one day.
>>19158854
I'm schizophrenic and I took no offense to his joke. Stop getting offended on the behalf of others, fuckwit.
>>19177779
good riddance. fuck whites and fuck blacks
You go to the movie theatre. Everyone in the audience is an obese black woman.
>>19141724
I don't get it.
A little boy is cooking with his mother.
He's proud that he learned to cook all by himself.
I always make sure to double check my locks.
I don't want anyone getting out.
>>19178608
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For_sale:_baby_shoes,_never_worn
>>19179854
Oh. That fucking guy didn't even do it right. It makes no sense the way he phrased it.
For sale: Shoe baby. Do not wear.
>>19142762
no one read this shit
>>19178592
that sounds like a fun trip tbqh
My nipples were hard. I live alone.
Stop. Mormon Jesus.
>>19158237
>teleports behind you with a katana
psh, nothin personell kid