Shadow figure at my door mocking me while I type

>>19101259
Turn on the lights and pray, hidden under the sheets also works.

Don't talk to it, cause you are in no position to answer back.

Start jerking your meat

>>19101259
turn off the lights and walk towards it with a smoochy face

>>19101267
My light switch is right next to the door. It's still there

>>19101274
I'm not joking. So stop

>>19101283
Ok follow instructions.

Walk away from it and get naked.

>>19101259

Stop being scared.

>>19101275
It's dark

>>19101290
STOP!!!

>>19101294
BRUH

>>19101303
trust us we deal with this all the time, whatever causes him to be there will stop if you get naked and start masturbating, we deal with them as least once a month.

Honestly if it wants that ass it will take it regardless, Just get down to the brass tax and pull your pants down and spread your buttcheeks. If the shadow isn't down he'll want to hover away as soon as possible but if it is this decision could be catastrophic.

It stepped back

>>19101320
Why? What were you thinking when it stepped back?

Now it's just standing noemally i dont wany to take mu eyes off it

>>19101320
u ok op

>>19101339
Go drink some caffeine. You see shadow bastards when you're tired or under the influence of something.

>>19101345
No i'm svarred shitkess

>>19101348
I'm sober

Just close your eyes m8. That way there's no more shadow.

>>19101356
Im not and theres one in my closet (open door) staring at me. I think I'll drink a monster energy to make it poof away.

The worst ones are when youve been up 24+ hours. Then they start talking to you.

guys the shadow is now beside my bed. It xan talk

It wants to talk to you guys

>>19101387
Ok, but you had the solution and didn't listened.

Seriously op, listen to what the other anons are saying. Drop your pants, start jerkin vigorously and stare directly at it. Maybe give your balls a little tug with the other hand. That should chase it off. If not just scream at the top of your lungs asking it if it wants your dick and/or throw your skeet at it. That should do the trick.

>>19101394
drunkaon here. spirits actually don't like watching people fuck (because they can't join in/feel anything). so, yeah fapping would work

PICS AS PROOF NOT NEEDED

HELLO CAN YIU TELL I HOW I DIED

File: 1478290656352.png (509KB, 867x851px) Image search: [Google]

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>>19101259
masturbate furiously and mantain eye contact

>>19101414
You had your first orgasm at the age of 35 and busted so hard that it hit your chin with a very intense force and broke your neck killing you instantly.

>>19101444
Im cOld iwant mY MOmMy

>>19101289

if you start jerking off so will the monster

this will buy you precious time

You OK anon?

>>19101484
mY Name is jEssIe

?MomMY

>>19101491
Don't be afraid to bark. ~_~

>>19101510
do you knoW mommy?

>>19101518
You're close. Is the vision that intense? Head south about 30 miles.

>>19101525
Mommy

>>19101259
Say this
"In Nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus sanctus ab hoc loco."
Then walk right towards it without stopping and turn on your light

>>19101529
How long? Is he still with you?

>>19101535
Miickeal is sleeping [[[ ; he sleeps now

Hold up at a motel 6. Read these posts slowly and in order, and go like a dog tracking a scent. Carefully. Observe. Easy. Et cetera. I'll be in close proximity to you around Monday.

>>19101541
shoulda drank the monstery energy drink
toldja so

>>19101541

In nomine patris et filii et spiritus sancti puer relinquereunde egressi reverti

>>19101554
you mickal friend?

>>19101563
In nomine patris et filii et spiritus sancti puer relinquereunde egressi reverti

>>19101554
Much better than crack or mystery powder substance concoction #67, I'll agree.

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>>19101259
Does your toaster have been laughing atyou?

>>19101563

REQUEISCAT IN PACE

>>19101566
WHAT THE FUCK MY ROOM LOOKS LIKE SHIT

>>19101559
>>19101566
Your curiosity makes you wretched in your own right. That perception is very real but it's not harmful. The colors of red and black do exist my friend.

>>19101563
actually thats my name too so theres the connection (M's real name is O.P. Faggot btw)

where youre communicating on right now could be considered an electronic purgatory.. you need to go to sleep to to find your mommy

WHO TYPED THIS SHIT ABOUT MOMMY? WHY IS SOMEONE SPEAKING LATIN?

>>19101581

Feeding off fear still, are we?

>>19101576
Your welcome, now turn on the light and be thankful there is a Christian god

>>19101567
dude pull an all nighter and chug monster to stay awake. You WILL start seeing shit... and jump everytime someone talks to you

>>19101581
Fuck um, we are all on sides. I have faith in my god, few can say the same.

>>19101591
MY LEG HURTS LIKE HELL!
THE SHADOW IS GONE
I STILL CANT FIND MY PHONE

>>19101588
Just to make it exist a little less.

>>19101601
Your leg is going to hurt until morning, can you walk?

>>19101614
There's a burn mark on it but I can walk

I was sleeping who typed all this crap

>>19101601
Meh youre exorcised walk it off you spooky bastard
i'm off to /s/

>>19101620
Turn on every light you can in your house, walk to your kitchen and grab the slat, all you have, pour it around your bed in an unbroken circle then go to sleep. In the morning tell find out where the closest catholic church is and find the priest and tell him what happened, hell know what to do. Also it would probably be best to stay in a hotel until they send the exorcist

>>19101625
what

>>19101592
I chug Samael's liquor.

>>19101597
I have faith in the Creator.

>>19101601
And I'd like to hope sometimes that I can help pick up the pieces of shattered glass.

Remember that a brain has multiple parts. One alongside many others.

>>19101633
Dude I just looked around my house. All my shit is trashed. My furniture is everywhere.

>>19101604

Noble, but stay wary.

I've seen so many get consumed without even realizing it.

>>19101646
Well you were possessed man, did you get the salt?

>>19101649
The ones we thought consumed are the ones that still remain as my friends. The very definition of insanity.

>>19101650
The plates in my kitchen are broken all over my floor

Idk if its been said yet but look right at it and jerk off, show no goddamn fear. You need to show your dominance. Call it names the whole time you're doing it"You like this dont you, You goddamn bitch." . try not to blink and when you cum, Look right at it and say " The next load is going right on you unless you piss right the fuck off.".

Should work no problem, After all you are a human. The most deadliest thing on this planet.

>>19101658

I can feel it cloaked around you like an impossibly heavy blanket.

You're marked (though I'm sure you're quite aware)

>>19101664
H...he's gone

>>19101659
Damn that bitch got around, I hate be the bearer of bad news but you did all that in the time you were possessed, you should get the salt as soon as possible

>>19101664
Never mind, Anon already had your back on this one. I've been pushing this " Jerk off at it" movement on here for years now. Im so happy its starting to take off.

>>19101674
I can't find anything dude

>>19101666
No, for you must know that I am not marked.

I am.

>>19101675
No I passed out. Besides how would I even get hard ?

>>19101673
Did you do what we said, Don't bitch out at creepy fucks like that. You are a goddamn human, The worst destructive force this planet as ever seen. Start acting like the evil god forsaken badass you are.

God's tremble at the bastard abominations that is humans.

>>19101676
Alright then, where is the closest catholic church?

>>19101677

Oh I can feel the will, trust me.

It's the only reason you're still here.

If you ever need help, I will assist.

>>19101686
Jesus man IDK i'm in Haiti visiting my bro. I'm lucky I even got internet. Its slow as shit

>>19101701
How's the food there?

>>19101720
SHIT

Well bro the best thing you can do is say this aloud then try to sleep at a different house.
Veni, creator, Spiritus,
Mentes tuorum visita,
Imple superna gratia
Quae tu creasti pectora.
Qui diceris Paraclitus,
Altissimi donum Dei.
Fons vivus, ignis, caritas
Et spiritalis unctio.
Tu septiformis munere,
Digitus paternae dexterae.
Tu rite promissum Patris,
Sermone ditans guttura.
Accende lumen sensibus
Infunde amorem cordibus,
Infirma nostri corporis
Virtute firmans perpeti.
Hostem repellas longius
Pacemque dones protinus;
Ductore sic te praevio
Vitemus omne noxium.
Per te sciamus da Patrem,
Noscamus atque Filium;
Teque utriusque Spiritum
Credamus omni tempore.
Deo Patri sit gloria,
Et Filio, qui a mortuis
Surrexit, ac Paraclito
In saeculorum saecula.

>>19101259
You are making it up?

>>19101289
I hear if you start jerking off while an entity is near by it will go away unless it's gay

>>19101757
No shit already resolved..... I think

>>19101768
Ok good but you did make the story from the beginning up right?

>>19101768
>>19101771
And that picture.. it is not real

>>19101772
I cant find my phone

>>19101771
>>19101771
I wish my foot didn't hurt

>>19101787
this is not possible

>>19101259
Call him a nigger and burn a cross in your own yard

Is that a dick photoshopped into a "shadowy figure"

did u do some benedryl or something

So this is what /x/ has become. How did it come to this?

>>19101259
Pull your dick out and fuck it

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1MB, 152x150px

Weakest RP thread ever.

>>19101259
tell it to do a shadow show
make a dog shadow or something
threaten to flash light at it if it refuses, hopefully that would kill it

>>19101744
> Latin shit
Wat do, how can I use

>>19101460
yo why does a ghost type like teen girls on tumblr pretending to have a panic attack

link your tumblr ghost

>>19101623
You're penis ran off and jerked itself until it came, the force of the impacts then typed all this out

I think its time to talk to your dad.
Let him in

>>19101824
While jerkin off at it

>>19101259
Call it Randy Bobandi and tell it to fuck off

>>19101646
Pics

>>19101646
pics or gtfo

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>>19101274
THIS.

I used to be a member of the world's oldest ghost-investigating society, the London Ghost Club. (I quit because I moved out of London. I didn't quit because I became a skeleton or anything. Let's rule that out now. Anyone who claims otherwise is a calciumphobic bigot.)

For reelz, you can scare away or block out most paranormal entities by getting: a) drunk; b) belligerent af, preferably for no good reason; c) horny as hell, preferably while starting to fap; or d) really, really preoccupied with something else, preferably something that's enjoyable, funny, or positive with friends.

No, I'm not joking. Any of those four are 100% guaranteed to work.

Spoops ain't shit but hoes and tricks.

P.S. If you choose option 'c' and you hear rattling from your closet while you fap, DO NOT STOP, it is just the wind.

P.P.S. I'm serious about the four options. It's fucking ego and psychic energy. Flesh beats spoop every time. Compared to spoops, you are an unstoppable meat-tank predatory psychopath made of material ejected from the heart of a fucking star. You evolved from monkeys that defeated and ATE sabretooth fucking tigers and mammoths.

You are made from biochemical fury and destruction, while spoops are thin shades that stand at the doorway fiddling in their pockets for their asthma inhaler.

You ever seen a spoop in a bodybuilding competition? NO. Fucking faggots.

>>19103664
can't find my phone

GoD I'mm such a Ffucking faaggot.

>>19105088
I know that it's almost entirely a shitpost but fuck, it was an amusing post. I especially like the meat-tank bit and thin shades fiddling for their inhalers bits, the rest is a bit worse than that though.

>>19101259
pro here-mastrubation attracts succubus demon
..u should quit it not do it as protection....i advice u to not turn off the lights since they hate it.....

>>19105651
i knew op staged it and i knew u were a faggot

>>19105686
You have to be 18 years old to use the board. Come back in 6.

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>>19101274

>>19105751
4chan never ceases to amaze me

>>19101267
Prayer did a lot for that guy who died from getting a Christian tattoo and then caught a flesh-eating virus from swimming.

>>19101303
Present your naked ass to the the moom and declare "Swiggity swooty, don't let the monster get my booty!" loudly.

>>19105751
This. I can verify from experience that it works 100% of the time.

>>19105769
Serious question: What the fuck were you expecting?

>>19105895
I consider this to be foreplay.

>>19101259
Tell the motherfuckers to stop! that's what I do. If they don't listen to me then I threaten them and mock them back (this usually pisses them off even more but I just laugh at them).

>>19101259
Wash yourself with water, take shower, drink water, sprinkle with water the place where the shadow is.
They don't like water