Why do I have an innate desire to do no harm?

>>19091611
You're just a good dude, relax. You have a conscience, that's good.

>>19091629
What separates "good" from "bad" though? Is it as simple as following what some would call the "golden rule?"

"Do unto others as you would have done unto you."

I cant say i believe in karma fully. I have yet to see it in action (at least without doubting it as coincidence).

Matter of fact, you could call me a bit of a nihilist. But i am still determined to make this world better than it was when i was born into it, before i die.

>>19091611
Empathy is the reason they tried to fluoridate us. Your energy will hopefully do good and help others for as long as you live. We sound a lot alike OP. I'm an animal shelter volunteer, can't kill even bugs I fucking hate, evil fucking family doesn't talk to me. It's a good thing man, it means you love life. Keep doing what you're doing and expect to be flamed shortly lmao

>>19091611
You're living naturally.
Your father unnaturally.
He was disappointed inside, realizing what little evil he hoped to collect to live on was instantly blown away by your kindness.
His legacy gone, you are the next in line.
It's not even a good or bad thing. Black or white.
No you just do what you have to and if you want to avoid stepping on the flowers and ants along the way.
That's your right.
You've been given the chance, so enjoy your decisions.

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The devil only bargains for certain souls. A Christian 15 year old Katy Perry is the type of soul the devil wants. She was someone who could have started the American Christen revolution, she would have had a part of saving millions of soul, maybe ended Islam in America and sway politics.`Instead she's doing the exact opposite for Moloch and the devil.

>>19091665
I left this out, but he is my step father.

I have a half-brother who is his by blood. And OH MY FUCK is my brother an asshole. He doesnt know how to look in the mirror and see himself for what he is.

One of the points my dad made during that night was that it was somehow "up to me" to change my brother and make him into a better person. I dont even know where to start on that to be quite honest. Im still working on myself.

>>19091686
So youre saying i refused something that wouldve taken my intellect and used it for ill intent?

That makes me feel better, but your post worries me because it feeds my, as some would phrase it, "delusions of grandeur"

>>19091611
you're an interesting and virtuous fella. I think you passed a great test. you will not succumb like your dad. you want your soul and you get to keep it.

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>>19091692
keep loving em until they start picking up the habits, then keep doing it.

if it doesn't work, you still tried and that's what you wanted to do anyway.

don't sell, share.

>>19091723
That is what I needed to hear about my brother, thank you. I have been distant from him lately, and perhaps I can try to help him.

He has been in a dark place in his life the past month or so. You are right. I should try to comfort him and maybe teach him something in the process. Not leave him to sink or swim on his own. I am his elder after all.

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>>19091767
just remember that unsolicited advice will always be taken as criticism.

don't "tell them how to get better" or you'll just make an ego mess.

just share the things/habits that keep
you feeling well. golden rule n' shit.

>>19091807
That is actually a VERY good point.

Something that I knew inside, but had a hard time articulating to myself. Thank you. I am literally gonna screenshot your post to remind myself

>>19091697
delusions or no delusions.
You decide what is real in the end.
No one but you are going going to die for what you believe in.
Don't listen to him telling you to change your brother either. It is a waste of time to change others.
Simply become what you want and the world will shape itself around you. Either by jealousy or by understanding your brother will change on his own.

I used to hate my absent prick of a half-brother too, but now his mother is dead, he got divorced.
Now just living to work as an engineer with nothing else to live on.

Make your life what you will. Don't think you have to keep some golden standard. That's a hell of a burden. Don't even listen to me,
listen to you.

>>19091826
also do share the rest of your trip I want to see

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>>19091826
I see your positive intent behind your words, and I appreciate them regardless of what I am gonna do with them.

I see it as, scratch his back and he may scratch mine some day. You feel?

>>19091841
I am losing my focus for the night to be quite honest. It is currently past midnight in my locale, and I need sleep. If you want, check out this thread tomorrow and I will have updated it with the rest of my experiences/lessons from that night. Thank you for your interest either way

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>>19091822
I did the same thing. Best of luck, my dude!

>>19091841
Ok heres the continuation, or rather, pieces of the night I can remember clearly. Bear with me, as im sure you know memories from a high dose trip are always fuzzy especially 6 months later.

Alot of what occurred that night was a result of me asking my dad questions, and him using music to answer them.

>sudden idea
>dad why dont you like cats?
>somehow, without speaking a single word to me, he SHOWED me exactly why he doesnt like cats
>hes always been a dog person, and i didnt understand his dislike for felines
It got really abstract, so i cant explain how I got to the conclusion i did, but they(my dad and his wife) gave me a knowing smile after doing whatever it is they did.
>basically, cats are assholes. They dont care about people, they view humans as a source of food for the most part, and thats it
>dogs on the other hand are loyal as fuck
>they actually LOVE the humans they are around (that are nice to them)
>he has this little white dog named Moe
>part of their demonstration to me was really really fuckin creepy
>my dad called Moe over to him
>Moe laid down next to him on the arm of the couch
>my dad rested his left hand on Moes back
>Moe was as still as a statue suddenly
>wtf this dog usually never stops yapping or running around and shit (he loves to bite fingers playfully)
>my dad raised his right hand and waved at me
>then some sort of FORCE, idk how else to describe it, moved through my dad and INTO Moe
>i have no fucking clue how, but it was like he had total control over this dog, like it was a puppet
>the dog leaned up into the air and raised its front paws and fucking WAVED at me
I know some will look at this and think its absolutely fucking crazy, but i saw the shit. He wasnt holding the dog, just resting his hand on the dogs back.
>once more, without any words, he explained to me that dogs are subservient to the wills of a human, especially one that knows what they are doing
Cont

>>19093979
>its like he moved his consciousness into the dogs mind idk how else to explain it
>shortly thereafter he removed his consciousness out of the dog and it was IN THE AIR
>no i couldnt see it
>but i could FEEL it
>he put his consciousness into me
>at this time the song "Twisted" by Colt Ford was playing
>i literally started to faze out suddenly
>i frrrrreaked the fuck out and stood up
>my dad looked a little perturbed by this, and told me to calm down
>"no reason to freak out son"
>"you just arent ready i guess"
>what do you mean? This doesnt make any sense
>his wife pipes up "NOTHING makes sense when youre this high"
>they both kinda start laughing
>i calm down a bit
>at some point after this i got my phone out of my pocket and starting marvelling at how shiny and sleek it was
>"weird how phones work, huh?"
>my dad suddenly got up, had me hand my phone to him, and he took it in the kitchen and put it on top of the fridge
>like he was confiscating it or somethin
>i just sorta laughed, but left it where it was
>things got even weirder after this, if that is possible

You sound like a faggot retard op

>>19093987
>you ever played Assassins Creed, or familiar with the premise of it?
>well, apparently that fuckin game has some serious truth in it
>you are just the most recent representation of all your ancestors. You have ALL of their memories stored in you somewhere, somehow
>usin things like LSD you can access these memories in a roundabout way
>i was suddenly a fuckin Indian boy running through a mountainous terrain, hunting for a kill
>i received flashes of hundreds of "past lives" all in a few moments' time
>i came to the understanding that somehow LSD and other hallucinogenic drugs are like a "key" that unlocks your mind to these kinds of things
>i was flooded with images and thoughts and memories that were not my own
>i felt like a vessel, and that vessel was being emptied out and filled with the "souls" (idk how else to explain this) of my ancestors, one at a time, it felt like some sort of kaleidoscopic movement.
>ever see Avatar the Last Airbender? How Aang has all these ancestors laid out around him, extending behind him as ghostly apparitions?
>it FELT like that
Ill go in to more detail on this if anyone cares to hear. At this point i feel like the experience i am trying to explain doesnt make sense with just words

>>19093991
Thanks for your input, not that it matters.

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>>19094010

>>19094044
>Life is way more compex than most would have you think
>there is a type of divine consciousness that pervades all that is living
>hallucinogens allow you to access this special force, but only if you know what you are doing
>your body is literally a vessel
>your mind is like a radio receiver
>communication by words is extremely limiting
>native americans knew this
>you can literally take a subjective experience, exactly as you experience it, and TRANSFER that experience into anothers' mind
>but that is hard to do with just words
>this is what we would call Telepathy
>shit is legit
>so legit that i still dont have all the answers
>i dont know HOW this shit works, but it is real
>it is out there

Im sure youve heard the phrase "you get it now?"

Get = understand
It = the direct experience

People use telepathy more often than we would think, and it is IMMENSELY easier to do when you are tripping with someone.

>>19094091
Sound is like a carrier wave of information
>music is very very powerful
>it aids in the transfer of an experience from one mind to another
>my dad started playing this song at one point
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mghLy91onLs
"Titties Beer" by Colt Ford
>started talking to me about how every man loves titties
>goes in to this diatribe like so:
"You know when youre at the titty club and those big sexy girls are all over you, rubbing their tits all over you, getting all on you, making you all excited and shit?"
"You know how theyve got glitter all over them? How those strippers always are just COVERED in glitter?"
>lol yeah thatd fuck over some guys when they come home to their wife
"Son! Look! You got some glitter right there!"
>where??
"There! On your eye!" *rubs his eye*
>i rub my eye
>suddenly theres fucking glitter EVERYWHERE on my clothes, the couch, my skin, i mean fucking everywhere
>i start laughing my ass off because i realized he tricked my mind somehow but it was cool as fuck

>>19091611
I think your dad saw himself in you and wanted you to avoid the suffering of the realization of a hopeless humanity. So "selling your soul" might as well be shutting off your innocent conscience in favor of the effort to reach only what you want.

I wouldn't blame a person like that, the information era has brought us new ways to demoralize people and add to that the traditional means of being demoralized.
A spiritual and benign life is less and less attractive for the ones that really think they can balance handling the pressure of the zeitgeist with conformity and the purity of their souls.

I believe that "keeping your soul", being truly happy and being adjusted to these times brings an invaluable reward but its a lot of hard work. So maybe you can keep going and constantly better yourself in spirit in a way that your environment will follow or give up.

>>19094235
I had already adopted a nihilistic type of viewpoint prior to that night. It was partly why i kept asking him questions.

In the end, he left me with a feeling that life is like a divine comedy of sorts. It is all a game, so dont take it TOO seriously. Or at least, only as seriously as i want it to.

Its like there is no meaning unless you give it one. All of life is like an endless cascade of sound that gets louder and louder and louder and louder, making you think there has to be something exciting right around the corner. That is what drives him at least. A never ending looping downward spiral that keeps changing but is in reality just more of the same.

"There is nothing new under the sun"

He gave me a new hope for life. The following day on my way home i literally started crying for the first time in years. It surprised me so much

>>19091611

why did you do lsd with your dad

>>19094291
Because why not? Ive always wanted to try hallucinogens, and he started me out with mushrooms back when i was 18 during a 4th of july party.

Over the last 4 years ive come to favor LSD over mushrooms anyways, so it was a win-win when he offered to have me come over and trip for new years about 6 months ago

>>19094256
I only have been in LSD twice, the most recent was the strongest experience, I practically saw all my concept of reality get cut like a fine cloth.

Lots of things happened but here are some of my conclusions (or hypothesis, i like reading paranormal stuff as if I'm reading fiction because I'm kind of a skeptic so I need to experiment things myself to consider them), I'm writing this because I think its similar to your experience in some way.

-Emotions are very strong psychical events that are able to produce a variety of what may be deemed paranormal events.
-"Reality" is more of a concept of our own personal vision of existence, I experimented with this watching people around me and how everyone unconsciously tried to add more people to subscribe to their own reality while others mindlessly followed others. This may be basic knowledge and I suspected it before but watching it live and unfiltered amazed me.
-The "ancient memory" you described, the same thing. Carl G. Jung explored a lot of this.
-received some truth bombs but after sobering up I realized that my imagination was overflowing in a negative sense during that segment so I'll omit those


Why did you cried?

>>19094345
Interesting conclusions, i can say i agree with them. Weird how this stuff works huh?

I cried out of gratitude for the experiences/knowledge I had, nothing more. They were tears of joy, but they were flowing unlike anything i have experienced since being a small child.

>>19091611
sorry to say, but your dads soul has been inverted.

he sees your attempt at anything but the pain he has lived in as an affront to his nature. on some level, his shell is human and will treat you as a son, but on a deeper level you can break through to, he is entirely broken, and feasts on his own displeasure.

>>19094415
Well, i would believe that, except he seemed regretful of the decisions hes made in his past.

After that night it was like he had a new kind of respect for me. He treats me more kindly now than he ever has my entire life.