Bible as a horror story

>>19072166
Wait, the Bible isn't an horror story?
Wew.

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>>19072189

Yahweh is being an abusive narcissist hypocrite deity that demands your love for flaws he created you with or he will send you to hell is already scary enough

I think God and Allah also are just like that..

>>19072166
There's an episode early in, some Jews settle near some non-Jews. The son of the pagan chieftain wants the daughter of Papa Jew. He sleeps with the girl (the Bible says raped, but that's probably denial at work). Then he has his father try to arrange marriage with her for him. Her brothers are basically racist towards him. They say they'll agree to the marriage if the entirety of that bunch of pagans would be circumcised. And kid is serious enough about it that they actually comply. Then the brothers take advantage of the situation (being that all the fighters at the pagan fort are inconvenienced by sore dicks). The Jews round up a posse and go kill everybody and take all the loot. Papa Jew is super pissed that they did it, because the next thing to expect would be the relatives of the pagans would be coming to repay the favor and kill his entire household. But they flee, and God helps them to get away safely.

Then there's the time when God isn't satisfied with the Midianites being conquered and demands that they be genocided. There's something to reply with the next time someone tries to use the Holocaust as a justification.

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>>19072302
Thanks for the reply!

>>19072302
Nice

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>>19072166
It's not?

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>>19072166
>If the Bible were a horror book. What would be the creepiest or scariest moments/quotes would you guys know of?

The Bible is worse than a horror book - because it purports to be fact.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKz7BfwweuY

>>19072280
youre really dumb, the bible doesnt send you to hell, thats a myth invented by atheists to make christians look simple. and if you lift some out of context quote youre a retard. i could write in a book that a character speaks '2+2 equals 5 is not true' and you would lift the '2+2 equals five' bit and use it as evidence that I, that author, believe it, similarly , some old crazy person on the old testament got quoted, it could have been explained that he was crazy before he said it, it simply reported that someone said murderers etc will burn in eternal anguish. its a story, quoting someone and i genuinely pity your intelligence for taking it literally

>>19072452
So the good book isn't to be taken literally? Thank god for that. Those commandment things looked tough.

>>19072615
>so i was walking home and seen this crazy person at the side of the road, he said "the sky is green"
> DUDE YOU SAID THE SKY IS GREEN
> no.... i said i seen some guy telling a story-
>NAWH DUDE I HEARD YOU SAY "THE SKY IS GREEN"
>..yeah but i was quoting the guy...
>NAH NAH NAH, I HEARD YOU, YOU LITERALLY SAID THE WORDS "THE SKY IS GREEN".. THEY CAME OUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU BELIEVE THE SKY IS GREEN HAHA

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We are suppose to think this a good and tell our kids this is the ultimate love act. Remember this to be God's will. Not even the act of sissyboy Jesus.

Revelations 4:17

>>19072434
Could you do an AMA some time? I'd really like to understand whats going on upstairs. Your a really peculiar fellow.

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>>19072624
>lol if I'd do this to my one and only son imagine what I'd do to you ungrateful fuckers. Better get on those knees fast.
Gods a riot