I was abused as child and orphaned shortly after when my parents

Nope. Just know it gets better. But it'll only get better if you try.

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Are you for real?
Worship Ixtab.
She'll give you a place in her world.

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>look at me I'm so damaged ;((

You are going through what countless others have gone through on Earth. You have a loving father, God and a loving mother -the universe.

Earth is a lesson in why evil was kicked out of heaven. The freedom to lie exists on Earth and all the pain and suffering was caused by souls who refused to renounce their freedom to lie.

Hang in there, it's about to get a lot better.

>>19058942
Cunt

Did they touch your penis and corn hole?

>>19058741
Haha

>>19058741
Fuck the gods. A bunch of semen drinking faggots that finger each other in their gayboy hideout cave.

>>19060217
You're a fag
>>19058741
Find meaning in life and dedicate your life to it
>>19060491
dibs bedora

>>19058741
Wait, you were orphaned when you tried to gain independence? Implying your parents died? I'm a bit confused.
Either way, sorry about your life being shitty. It'll get better.

>>19058741
>an I kill myself to travel to a parallel universe with a comfy lap to rest my weary head?
No
Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done

>>19058741
Sorry dude: life can really suck.
You get the plate you get: it's up to you what you do with it.
I was also abused as a kid: and let me tell you: looking for comfort is the wrong way. You will get FUCKED OVER down that path.
Look within for strength. Get angry. Find away to work through your anger (therapy can help) (I joined an agro scene for a few years & learned to get straight with negative feelings). If you can confront your parents, do it. Mine denied everything, and many do, so I had to deal with that shit on my own.
Work through it NOW so that you don't carry that horror forward into your own family. Ihave a kiddo now, and, *knock wood*, no weird shit has happened.

Don't hide out in supernatural stuff: deal with this stuff in the physical world. Mysticism has it's place, but work out your negativity first.

>>19058741
This life is one of infinite.
You've probably killed your parents at least once in a past lifetime
You're better of not trying to leave this timeline desu

>>19060644
Being a good parent when your own parents were abusive is basically the best revenge you can get against them honestly, a big "fuck you, you damaged me but you couldn't break me."

>>19058741
No, unfortunately.
Very sorry for your misfortune. Reality has few refuges for the unlucky, but I hope you find something nice out there for yourself

>>19060712
Yes, and "fuck you, look what a great kid I have without smacking him around & fucking his head up."
Incredibly healing as well, to watch him grow naturally strong, whole, unafraid & confident.

>>19058741
A human is able to be god. Humans are able to be god. This is because a humans accessed eternal life technology.

The ancient humans accessing eternal life technology, of who the bible is about...and who included humans not accessing eternal life technologies, may have a successful program of forcing eternal life. They would thus be gods.

My hunch is this program is not proved a success. This also means humans who accessed eternal life technology might be trying to ensure success. If they will ensure success then they will try to force as many humans as possible will live since there are events, like the, "big bang explosions"...one of which is believed by astronomers as happened fourteen billion years earlier than now, which we must dodge, prevent, or survive.

You might be youthed. Your brain put into a young clone body so your brain is old and the rest of, "you" is young. You might then be adopted and know loving guardians. Like a childhood.

>>19058741

Your path is to become what your parents were not.

>>19060763

But how do I remember who I was?

>>19060712
>>19060749
the true redpill

its hard to do better than making another human being who is happier and healthier and more successful than you are.

thats why child abusers are the scum of the earth

>>19060782
Damn I forgot how good a board /x/ is

>>19058741
>>19060644
>>19060712
The best revenge is living a better life than the ones who was hurting you. But don't wave your wealth and success at them, keep it hidden. Ignore their existence, even when on their deathbed. I have zero contact with my abusive mother and she is like a deer in the headlights at the moment. You have no idea how much ass kissing text messages I have on my phone right now from her.

>>19060873

>even when on their deathbed

Anon, please try to forgive her before she passes.

You will regret it later if you don't.

I know you think you won't, but you will when the roles are reversed.

>>19060873
Weird, but true: my siblings barely talk to my mother... I went through heavy shit & confronted her on everything... Probably I was the most confrontational.
Many years later, we are friendly & chat weekly.
When I think of the past, it is hard for me to believe our situation now... I guess I worked through what I needed to, and also found a compassion for my mother's experience of her own fucked up life.
I believe she experienced undiagnosed postpartum psychosis twice, and at least 2 undiagnosed nervous breakdowns due to my father's bullshit. Sucked for me & my siblings as children, and doesn't excuse anything, but as an adult, I can understand. I suppose my attitude toward her is patronizing, but whatever.

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>>19060873
>Be a complete piece of shit to your child
>Wonder why your child hates you when you really need them
I don't get the logic abusers use, the single most basic rule of social interaction is "don't be a dick to people you expect to help you"

>>19060898

>I don't get the logic abusers use

It's generally irrational, which is why the abuse occurs to begin with.

>>19060780
>>19060780
Your like-memory program: flexing muscles caused by machines far and close; these muscle flexings are based on data information about your history. This is an opportunity of forced cohabitation. This is an opportunity of forced reconciliation.

There is such a thing as your natural humanality computer program which is flexing caused by machines far and close, though the muscle flexing is only by the brain as currently is formed as experiences continued to change or recreate humanality.

And there is natural humanality. Flexing muscles not caused by machine stimulation.

>>19060893
same. except my reasons for being nice to my mother is to snag the inheritance when she dies

Were you sexually abused? If so, you're lucky. I wish someone would touch me. I'm 32 and I've never been touched.

I'm a girl. I wish my daddy would have raped me when I was 7.

>>19058741
You'll know what it's like. It doesn't matter what you believe in, as long as you believe. Keep trying. Never give up.

>>19061769
ITT, people who are wasting oxygen.

>>19061777
Trips of truth...depressing.

>>>/b/

>>19058741
Just keep waiting on god, your prayers might be answered sometime after he gives the promised land back to the Jews and ungenocides the Indians.

>>19061800
what do you mean? I was thrown out and homeless at 14, I think I deserve a little bit of that money

Rape your mother. Get even.

>>19060886
Sounds like brainwashed nonsense. What could there possibly be to regret?

>>19061777
have you tried a succubus thread?? if that doesnt work try a tulpa

>>19058741
well anon I suppose you could but its pretty much instinctually known that shit will just get worse.

>>19058741

Unfortunately, my friend, those experiences cannot be undone. They will be with you always, and nothing will change that. But there is good news. Through deep meditation and detachment from this illusory phenomenal universe, you can escape the harm that has come to you and live in peaceful bliss. I was once like you, from an unstable home and deeply emotionally troubled. It was through constant practice that I was able to overcome attachment and become self-realized, liberated, and enlightened in nondual truth.

Just sit still, close your eyes, and breathe as if you were a sleeping child. Eventually hours in meditation will pass by like minutes, and you will be happy and satisfied.

>>19062333
u a big o' faggot yessir

>>19062350

I am that I am. One without a second. The qualities you speak of are meaningless.

>>19058741

Though I believe in a higher power myself, the question of God is irrelevant.

You are only accountable for your own choices. External circumstances are beyond your control. Your thoughts, opinions and actions are the only things entirely under your control.

If external circumstances are tough, you should know that you have the means not only to endure them, but to profit from them. You have as much goodness, courage, patience, temperance, and greatness of spirit as you are willing to give yourself. This is a spring that will ever flow, if you will ever dig. You are defined by how you react to your circumstances - you can view them as unbearable and allow yourself to be hurt by them, or you can take them as an opportunity to demonstrate your virtue and courage. This is all that really matters.

Being sensible of this, inspect the faculties you have, and after taking a view of them, say, " Bring on me now, O' God, what difficulty you wish, for I have faculties granted me by you, and abilities by which I may acquire honour and ornament to myself." But instead you'd rather sit trembling, for fear this or that should happen; and lamenting, and mourning, and groaning at what has happened; and then you accuse God. For what is the consequence of such a meanspiritedness, but impiety? and yet God has not only granted us these faculties, by which we may bear every event without being depressed or broken by it; but, like a good prince, and a true father, hath rendered them incapable of restraint, compulsion, or hindrance, and entirely dependent on our own pleasure: nor has he reserved a power, even to himself, of hindering or restraining them. Having these things free, and your own, will you make no use of them, nor consider what you have received, nor from whom? but sit groaning and lamenting, some of you, blind to him who gave them, and not acknowledging your benefactor; and others, basely turning yourselves to complaints and accusations of God.

>>19058942
There's nothing edgy about going through traumatic experiences, life happens, bad things happen, and there's nothing wrong with talking about it.
It's when someone can't move on and just whines constantly for pity points that shit get stupid.

>>19058741
Thank God you are suffering. You don't want to end up as those who cannot even face their own pain and become false people.

Ultimately, forgive - if an alligator bites you, do you blame the alligator? People do things because they have to. Understanding your own pain allows you to understand the pain the abuser is hiding from.

Broken egos say, "I'm not better than anybody and everybody is better than me - I'm a victim forever". But healthy ones say, "Nobody will take away my ability to love".

>>19062572
Alligators don't need forgiveness. One just needs to leave the alligators behind when they're able to.

I don't care what's in your nature. If someone chooses to create and keep a child then mistreat it, an endless series of chosen actions to harm a kid, then they're a sack of shit that doesn't deserve a second chance/mercy/forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a two directional process. One must make amends to right the wrong.

These are people who spent their children's childhoods trying to break them. Some of them get so broken they can no longer love, even if they try.

And anyway, love isn't giving a toxic person a pass. That's enabling.

>tl;dr the neverending push to get former abused kids to forgive is very suspicious, very convenient for abusers and 100% not required to move past the abuse