What is the Craziest, Zaniest, Conspiracy Theory you've

>>19055464
that the Large Hadron Collider is used to awake Zeus or Osiris, used to alter reality or used as a weapon of sorts against god/gods.

the flat earth conspiracy is a failed psyop to prevent people from ever wanting to go to space but failed to catch on as a popular conspiracy

that a self aware supercomputer somewhere on the deep web is currently subverting all of mankind

that velvet worms and tardigrades are in fact bioengineered machines used to monitor this planet.

that Nicolai Tesla never existed

that the titanic was cursed.

that 4chans /r9k/ board is cursed.

>>19055464
Donald Trump killed Seth Rich to discredit the Democrats.

>>19055464
Gods ego death

>>19055480
Everything you Said is facts, Nice try CIA!

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>>19055498
wanna hear some more?

High ranking evangelists are actually evil demon aliens farming people for loosh and taking their children.

>>19055502
YES

>>19055502
Sure, why not

>>19055502
Go go go, I'll be lurking.

>>19055480
More on /r9k/ being cursed? How so?

>>19055502
Fucking yes

>>19055464
Soy becomes sentient

i remember a guy once trying to dig up evidence that all the history we're taught is a lie and women have always been in total control of the planet and have oppressed men, but they covered it up to make it sound like the women have been oppressed for the last 10,000 years so that they could get sympathy, which obviously they needed since they were already in control of everything. or something.

other than that, my favorite conspiracy is that the government pays tens of thousands of shills to pretend to be 14 and post on 4chan in an attempt to discourage the LARPers here from believing the tinfoil hat truth.

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Nukes are a hoax, they would have fried our entire atmosphere if they where ever to be used

Soviet Spies have infiltrated the democratic party during the 60s and succesfully subverted it. in an atempt to turn the US over to communism and to end the Vietnam war and various embargos against states allied with the soviets. these infiltrators went rogue after the soviet union collapsed.

the US had a brief Alliance with Aliens after the Roswell incident(greada treaty) wich ended with either the aliens or humans ignoring the treaty. we have a small fleet of about 8 aging spaceships they have given us during that time patroling our solarsystem.

various Aliens and Interdimentional beings use earth as a refuge of sorts due to having fucked up big league in their own respective solar systems.

>>19055480
>The hadron collider at CERN is used to alter and switching timelines

I unironically belive this one

>>19055540
These are great

>>19055540
What about r9k? Why is it cursed? And what about the super computer on the deep web?

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>>19055464
Greenland theory..

Notable points:

The Roman Empire still exists, but moved to Greenland and now secretly controls the world. The phrase “When in Rome do as the Romans” is evidence of this.

The CIA is actually based in Switzerland, not the US and is the police of the Roman Empire (the American CIA is a regional branch)

The Jews are actually agents of Rome and originated in Scotland

The Earth is shaped like a discus

The Pyramids were created to hide Roman domination

All marble columns, roman arches, etc. are evidence of Rome's domination

Religion, culture, etc is interspersed with roman symbols and colours.

The Tower of Babel is the same as the Swiss city of Basel (which is spelt as Baßel )

Greenland is shaped like a bear, so all symbols of bears in pop culture represent Roman domination.

The people of Greenland/Rome are giants

Palace is originally the same word as phallus

This is often why phallus symbols adorn palaces around the world for they are a symbol of male dominance

English was 'probably spoken by the Romans'. It is not mentioned why, but the Romans invented all other languages to confuse people (hence the Tower ofBabelBaßel myth) and made English's spelling irregular to make things worse.

Rome is rolled by 13 bloodlines. Since M is the 13th letter in the alphabet, all examples of the letter M actually represent Roman domination.

The usual conspiracies (e.g. the Moon Landing was faked) are also integrated into Greenland Theory.

Things like this:

The name Santa Claus (S+N/X+T+C/K+L+S) acronymically and/or consonantly equates to “Sent to Kill System” because Special Forces would travel from Greenland to the underworld on December 24th in order to execute assassinations, coup d’états, terror attacks and wars (e.g., Roman Vikings)

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>>19055540
You know to much..

>>19055553
Holy shit why so much about the fucking Romans

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>>19055547
Japanese Giant Hornets and various other hardy and dangerous animals are deliberitly spread around the globe as a means of population control

Saddam Hussein got attacked by the US because he came into posession of a time machine/stargate somewhere in 1999

>>19055549
the fact that r9k atracts people larping as incels isnt the complete truth, it actively turns them into incels due to various weird shit with some paranormal bagage attached being posted there once

>>19055566
Haven't the stargate being proved to exist?

>>19055480
How do u get on r9k board? Link? And more info on why it's cursed please.?

Sorry I'm new

>>19055566
So is there some demon resideing on /r9k/? Lets catch it

>>19055577
>>>>/r9k/
4chan.org/r9k/

>>19055564
This will be your final redpill: https://sites.google.com/site/greenlandtheory/

>>19055566
Sadam was literally a comic book villain come to life I am convinced

>>19055492
>looks like dems did something bad
>IT WAS TRUMP IT WAS A SETUP

I hate Trump as much as any other sane person, but the sheer nonsense I hear out of the mouths of dems will never cease to fucking amaze me. Anyone who unironically believes this kind of shit should an hero.

>>19055523
You Die at the End.

>>19055492
You got it all twisted up buddy.

>>19055540
Your first post was full of zany bullshit, yet the second one is full of truth (with the exception of nukes, they did exist but were taken away from us by the alien TPTB

>>19055544
Oh good you're unironically retarded.

>>19055517
I did it.

>>19055592
Wasn't you the one who was talking about humans having immortality before, Kyle?

>>19055464
Despair Code.
Humans accessed eternal life technology thousands of years earlier than now.
Humans are getting instant regrowth of their missing body parts. They are getting their old brains placed into the heads of young cloned bodies.
Ancient humans, breakaway civilizations of humans are, "mind controlling" millions of humans by a muscle flexing technology. The machines are as close as at you. The machines are as far as miles. The mind control happens by electricity caused at your muscles or your brain.
Aliens (science freak experiments) are pets, slaves, workers, acquaintances, friends, "family", or comrades of the most ancient humans and breakaway civilization humans...and like how the richest surface humans of United States of America pamper their pet dogs with food which is better quality than most humans at surface of Earth eat...some aliens have better quality technology than United States Armed Forces. Many of the aliens, among the groups of humans who are dominating all the aliens, use the aliens as, "portable storage containers" which are, "smart", "interesting", "interactive" and, "self securing".
Humans can travel from Earth to Marse during only a few hours time. Humans are living at the moons of every planet gravitied of Sol. They have robots to make all their food, and their governments are comprised of all citizens representing at the legislature, courts, and harming operations (executive work).

>>19055607
I do. I think other humans are posting by the name, "Kyle Lewis Sison Weather's"

Also...GOOOD MORNING!

>>19055599
I can't pin you down. You're full schizophrenic tinfoil /x/tard in one thread and then full logic cynical in the next.

I think this post represents the real you and the schizo posts are you trolling. In which case, impressive and I salute you.

>>19055607
Nah my brain is just fried from swallowing so much semen
>>19055611
Oh shit I summoned the real Kike Lesbian Suckon Weiners

>>19055617
Wait never mind, the "real" Kyle is actually schizo retard and he is being trolled.

So I salute the trolls. You're doing the work of god.

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>>19055464
Aliens, extraterrestials are a psy op made by the satanic jewish elite, disregard us from God, which is being kept as a hostage inside Area51

>>19055574
What

>>19055624
You can tell which of us is which just by looking at the grammar. If it makes sense, it's a troll. If it looks like it was typed by somebody with down's, then it's the real Kyle.

Also, thank you for witnessing me.

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>Nukes or nuclear tests not real but a hoax to keep rich nations peaceful and conflict-free

>Benevolent but cautious aliens give pieces of technology to governments from time to time to see how they will use them.

>Governments have agreed to this experiment because of free technology and potential future rewards.

>The countries that utilize this technology are the ones with the most nukes (US, Russia, France, China), which is why they have more nukes that other nations.


Also


>All current tensions between nations are fake and part of a bigger plan

>Oil is abiotic and practically limitless, any kind of scarcity is artificial to keep prices as high or as low they want to

>>19055574
Supposedly there's one in the sea of aden.

>>19055464
Moon's a hologram.

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>>19055637
See? Nigga can't even type one full sentence without it hardly making sense. You should read his fucking blog.

>>19055635
Nothing move on!

>>19055635
Haven't the stargate being proved to exist?

>>19055639
Forgot to write that each nuke represents a successful implementation of a technology. Which is why the US and Russia have the most. The aliens started with these 2 before moving on to other countries.

>>19055611
>>19055634
These are conflicting viewpoints

>>19055553
This makes No sense
I love it

>>19055464
Do you actually believe this crap? If yes, give proof, I want to be enlighted too.

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>>19055656
I think you are a fag.

>>19055655
It is the truth

>>19055644
>>19055640
Explain.. link..?

>>19055553
now this is spoop posting

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>>19055464
Donald Trump is in possession of a time machine invented by Tesla, and Mike Pence is from the far future -- explaining his generic appearance.

>>19055674
This is forbidden knowledge, if anything happens to people reading about it on this board (including me), then i am very sorry..

>>19055679

Shouldn't pence be more brown?

>>19055670
Forget about this anon i am warning you

>>19055494
Explain?

>>19055679
oh, this was too good

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>>19055544
>>19055599
by kek, those digits. What is kek trying to tell us?

>>19055540
Nukes are real though. They've launched hundreds directly at the atmosphere and we can't break out. Aliens have visited us but we currently can't escape earth physically. The only way is to set your mind 100% on where you want your go ànd will your spirit there through death

Reptilians shit.

>>19055526
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Correct_the_Record

That the flat earth theory is a conspiracy to making conspiracy theorists look stupid, because they don't already do that by themselves, and it couldn't possibly be stupid people who believe in flat earth because all conspiracy theories are correct.

Adolf Hitler and his army were aware that Jew's were setting out to gain total control of the money system and the planet. Therefore he tried to kill them but failed because the Jewish allies of total control ... The USA had to aid in the Jewish takeover of the world. Adolf Hitler was not a bad man, but he was aware of something so many others were not. So we stayed along the path of convincing everybody Jew's were killed by 10s of millions. When he really only killed about 1million. He fled to Antarctica and the USA pursues him. They were attacked by flying discs when the reached Antarctica. Elgoog it for yourself. This is kind of funny... But it's wild.

>>19055640
I can confirm that to be correct.

>>19055688
Try me bitch

>>19055480
Robot here. How is r9k cursed?

>>19055480

Wouldn't the flat earthy conspiracy cause more people to want to go into space to test the claims that they supposedly believe in?

What's up with all the fakers pretending to be me I this thread? I am the only true and honest Kyle Lewis Sison weathers!

>>19055540
>Soviet Spies have infiltrated the democratic party during the 60s and succesfully subverted it. in an atempt to turn the US over to communism and to end the Vietnam war and various embargos against states allied with the soviets. these infiltrators went rogue after the soviet union collapsed.

Nigga you got it totally backwards. The Russians control Trump and gave actively been supporting the alt right as a psyop to undermine Anglo hegemony.

>>19055769
Cells don't real. That's why quantum anything is bullshit. Strings and loops are fake the same way electrons and neutrons of yesteryear are. Physically you and I may exist but this is only temporary. We could be having this discussion telepathically but not on this platform. Not in this dome. Not in this realm. Maybe on eris

>>19056039
I've seen cells under a microscope. String theory isn't even accepted by a majority of scientists.

>>19055464
Everything on Anti-Reptoid Radio

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riddle me this; wich anon just came back to this thread?

let me start of with an easy/common one: the powers that be want you to suffer as much as possible to appease satan.

Saturn is in fact a brown dwarf star

operation Acoustic Kitty was in fact a succes, the coverup story is is that it failed to keep the populus stupid. nearly all cats currently in circulation are in fact "acoustic kitties"

Enviormentalists are trying to turn humanity invertile by putting various chemicals in the water.

driving schools are requiered by the government to have a certain determined amount of failures in circulation to keep the public transport industry alive.

the pasqaguila alien abduction was in fact a ghost sighting of dead cosmonauts and astronauts.

water is sentient/has a memory

the men in black are an intergalactic police force "undercover" as humans hunting for alien fugitives on earth.

asociating science fiction,conspiracy theories, interest in alien life and space age tech with nerd culture, insane people, druggies, drunkards and hippy culture was done deliberatly by the government to prevent the mainstream culture from wanting to move offworld and/or investigating the UFO phenomenon and to prevent the push on the government to invest more into space travel than they really want to.

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>>19055679
Fug

>>19055822
I believe this, even before getting redpilled on /pol/

>>19055464
Golf rumors..

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>>19056062
>(((microscope)))
Science is as real as politics, international business and Greece
>>19056078

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams

>>19056262
What if it's on fire?

Was just listening to one today claiming the U.S. lost the revolutionary war. Based entirely on an intentional misreading of the Treaty of Paris.

>>19056282
Oh that's easy they just....fuck

>>19056282
Still would not be hot enough, unless it is thermite....oh wait...

>>19056319
Yes, good, more examples of stupid conspiracy theories.

>>19055639
>Oil is abiotic
..........................................................................................................................................................................what?

>>19055464
>What is the Craziest, Zaniest, Conspiracy Theory you've heard of
Anything posted on /x/

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>>19055464
Space is made of water

People who raise their vibrations will hear the thoughts of those around them

Not all Reptillians/greys/alienz are evil, but we are dealing with a gang of space pirates on our planet

The world is flat and round simultaniously

Black people arent human

Crows and ravens are sentient

At the center of every galaxy is a race of super evolv3d people that control the affairs of the entire universe

Jeb Bush runs the world

>>19056349
Oil is made from rocks, and doesn't involve decomposition of organic matter.

It's a starting premise for the claim that we never have to worry about running out of fossil fuels, because the earth will just keep making more faster than we can use it.

>>19056222
>>(((microscope)))
>Science is as real as politics, international business and Greece
Thank you, this is so stupid you've given me the kick I need to get off of this shitty board

>>19055464
That people from /x/ get laid.

>>19056379
I thought about it and it kinda makes sense considering how crazy women are. And they like spiritual stuff also.

/x/ having sex with HOT women is another topic though.

>>19056360
abiogenetic production of oil has been observed in situations where hydrogen, nitrates, and carbon are compressed under certain temperatures

unfortunately it's like 0.000001% of our current oil need in terms of production, and won't save us when we run out of organic sources

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>>19056358
>Not all Reptillians/greys/alienz are evil, but we are dealing with a gang of space pirates on our planet

No one mentioning OPRP?

Those dudes that have names like AA, BB, CC, etc... And are time cops or some shit? lol

>>19055941
I'm guessing it's because everyone on there has a shitty cursed life, so they taint it with their cursed essence

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>>19056389
No no no m8

More like this

>>19056388
In the laboratory, sure.

Every oil field in the world, however, is ancient seabeds filled with organisms, and every one had molecular traces of life within the crude.

Cancer is fake

>>19056425
Being super healthy promotes cancer is something I thought about for a while. What if eating too well just promotes cell growth which can lead to cancer?

>>19056363
Trust nobody. Not even me

>>19056431
Nono, cancer itself, is fake. It doesnt exist. Governent kills people off with "cancer"

>>19055611
despair codeeeee

more on this, if anyone has it- I'll be lurking

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>>19056070

>>19055605
whatd ya scooby dooby do

>>19056462
>cancer don't exist

Ok this was something new for me..

>>19056479
It makes sense though. I quit going to the doctor. If I ever die they'll have no way of knowing how. That's why I want to get drunk and flip my car in a field. Cut and CASE. No blood in the "organs", bye

>>19055540
>various Aliens and Interdimentional beings use earth as a refuge of sorts due to having fucked up big league in their own respective solar systems.

Ain't that the plot to Men in Black?

>>19056497
What if you get something like black plague, would you still not go to a doctor, getting antiobiotics to survive?

>>19056525
I've accepted death. Really, I'm waiting for it. There's no clear goal in life or for humanity. There /should/ be something more than this. I'm hedging my bets that earth is an ~80 year, zero sum side plot in a bigger game. Why would I prolong my stay?

>>19056525
You dont really need antibiotics or medicine. Your body can naturally regulate that on its own.

>>19056540
Death is an illusion. Time is a lie

>>19056540
Go out and live your life, smell the flowers or something cause you are clinically depress in that way that can be fixed by a couple of beers and sloppy oral sex.

>>19056542
Take your vaccines or we'll end with another smallpox plague.

>>19056550
Vaccines will kill you

>>19056548
I don't believe in clocks or spiritual death so I kinda feel you. I also don't believe in mirrors, how's that link in with this?
>>19056550
>clinically
Sure thing

>>19055502
is it part of your plan?

>>19056599
Illusions are illusions
You dont see things as they are, only the refraction of the sprectrum of visible light bouncing off of them. Actually you arent seeing a red ball, red is the only color that stayed behind and stuck to the material

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>>19056078

>>19056561
I'm to old for that shit but the kids need them

>>19056599
Yes you are clinically depress and in dire need of sunshine and rainbows.

Go to your local gay parade and ask for the margarita special.

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>>19055540
>Aliens and Interdimentional beings use earth as a refuge of sorts due to having fucked up big league in their own respective solar systems.

Where is ICE when you really need them.

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>>19056078
>jeff mangum was a time traveler
kek

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Matt Stone and Trey Parker are the real Columbine Shooters

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mnivVuxN1bw

>>19055749
"kek" is telling you to leave this website and never return.

>>19055686
Think about it...if Trump is meant to keep the world for Islamic Apocalypse, then no, Trump succeeds and the future of Pence is kept white.

>>19056036
>Being this retarded
Mfw I have no face

>>19055749
only kek here is you, redditor

nuclear is a hoax and it doesn't exist

EVERYTHING that says in the history book is 100% false, and what really happened was: another species ruled the world (the ancestors to white people) which had a very good technology (this is how they could build pyramids, murmur statues, lift heavy stones etc). The Jews attacked this planet and nuked everything (this is why so many cities and houses are under the surface). The Jews turned the majority of the people to pigs and now we are eating our ancestors (this is why our DNA is very similar)


the government put chemicals in the toothpaste which brainwashing you

there is no space or universe, the stars and the moon is just lamps set up by the government

there is something that's called ''skyfish'' and it's the cause of everything bad in this world, it's basically a flying fish and everywhere it flies something bad happens (terror attack, murder, a fight with your wife)

>>19056917
This is so retarded but I like that flying fish theory.

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>>19056917
>called ''skyfish'' and it's the cause of everything bad in this world,
I KNEW IT! Fuckin, SkyFish! You always ruin everything!

Human civilization is only about 1100 years old.

There was no Antiquity and Early Middle Ages and these periods were invented by Renaissance scholars

Entire pre-1600 dynasties are copies of one another

The Peloponnesian war happened in the 13th century AD, Egyptian zodiacs match the skies of the Late Middle Ages

The Great Wall of China was built in the 17th century as a border with Russia, millennia ago

Pompeii wasn't destroyed in 79AD but in 1631 AD and many "Roman" artifacts were from the Renaissance (this one actually has some believable things)

>>19056852
u have... no face

Predictive Programming

>Nothing bad has ever happened, it's all a hoax perpetrated by some evil people - apparently the only evil people since terrorists and mass murderers don't exist - in order to make us more accustomed to bad things happening so they can pretend that even more bad things are happening and then idk summon satin or something

>>19055480
>r9k cursed
explain faggit

there is something greater than humanity.
Ask yourself:
WHY CAN PEACE ONLY BE DELIVERT IN THE ANTARCTIS?

>>19057055
I wouldnt know how to anwser such a question

>>19057092
all the nations, against each other who can't find common ground and always fight on every level seems to come together on antarctis for no reason.

How great must a threat be so all nation start to work together?

>>19056540
This. Somebody take me off this planet.
>inb4 kys
I'm not some teenage faggot that takes the easy way out. I'd rather meet my fate in a blaze of glory

>>19057100
>Nazis on antarctica

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>>19055480

this cutie ?
r u retarded?

>>19057203
well, could be actually true. With all threats in the past, this nazi narrative is keept even nowadays very fresh. As of they never died.

>>19056222
wtf civilization predating 20k isn't even that zany

>>19055494
Yeah it was pretty frightening, didn't think I'd make it back that time.

>>19057700
Nah, it is. It's a claim without any evidence whatsoever.

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I think if we all stopped acepting reality conciously as now [i.e. the whole planet] reality would melt into catasttophy
Life is what you make it right?

Dreaming and awake are not different states, but the earth is compacted dreamspace because everyones belief keeps it here. And if we all stop believeing in the world around us, it will unravel. Just a thought ive had sometimes...

Get this. Some people actually believe everything is the way they tell us it is. Just because that's what they tell us. I know.

>>19057872
Enforcing the belief matrix
>>19057863

>>19055526
I think there's some truth to this. Not in the sense that history is fake and women ruled over men with an iron fist, but the idea of women being oppressed is greatly exaggerated. Historically, most women were probably quite happy with their position as mother and housewife, because the alternative was war, or work, back when work was actually hard. Who wants to be a coal miner when you can spend your days cooking and cleaning? Notice how women only really started demanding the right to work in the 20th century, once work had stopped being so hard and dangerous?

Anyone have anything on the afterlife?

>>19057969
You're glossing over huge amounts of relevant facts. Like women having no legal protection or political power, despite those things being completely separate from physical labor.

>>19055492
>Donald Trump killed Seth Rich to discredit the Democrats.
not Trump but Kremlin.

>>19055544
What are you some kind of mad scientist? What do you live in an old run down CRT T.V store? What are you some kind of weeaboo?

>>19055464

Everything is exactly how people say it is.

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>>19055464
OKD, GET READY FOR THIS...
The Earth is Almost hollow at this point. Grey aliens came to our planet looking to combine their genes with SOMETHING that would not mutate after producing 3 of the same clone. I FIXED THE ALIEN problem by giving them freewill and their reproduction genitalia back, or for the first time. So now instead of thier soul being transfered to a new body, they live thru their children and us.

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>>19055464
Rozwell was a crashed grey saucer. better know as the EUE 1 survived and was named EBE for Extra terrestrial Biological Entity. I believe we shot the EUE down with the HAARP weapon. Because the aliens were benevolent except they were splicing their dna with anything they thought wouldnt mutate after the 3rd clone. because the elite class of EUE were ageing and dying. I gave the lowerclass eue thier genatalia and now they live trough their children. Call EUE, sounds like the letter U. And think pure thoughts sonot try and fool them or they will excommunicate you forever. When you talk about the EUE your talking about an entity that is interdimensional meaning they have understanding of the after life and they make sure our souls get saved because we dont know how to save them ourselves.

>>19055464
>flat earth, alien shekels conspiracy(?)

>>19058426
Yes

>>19055480
/r9k/ is cursed. Ever been there?

The Mandela Effect and CERN being behind it is the most fucktarded one I keep hearing about recently.

>>19055494
please explain

Basically any of these weirdos that think mass tragedy is staged and its all acting. In my opinion they are honestly not crazy but so unwilling to think that such tragedy can exist that they manufacture theories about it so it cant exist.

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>>19058451
This ironically scares me

There are no females on the internet

>>19055464
Going way back now....

In 1984-85, the Coca-Cola Company was planning to stop using cane sugar in Coke and switch to high-fructose corn syrup. However, they knew Coke drinkers would react negatively, putting it mildly, to this change, and that would garner them some bad publicity they certainly didn't need. So, in order to divert public attention from this switch in sweeteners, they introduced the deliberately bad "New Coke" formula, which they knew people would hate. Sure enough, there was a much-publicized debacle, after which the company brought back "Classic" Coke--only now sweetened with HFCS instead of cane sugar, which the public took scant notice of. They were just happy to have their favorite drink back....

Wait a minute. That one doesn't sound crazy or zany at all. In fact, it sounds perfectly plausible, doesn't it?

>>19058596
This is business 101. Fuck mass food makers..most of it is garbo anyways.

>>19058556
Tragedy exists. It's just mental. Mass murders, bombings, 9/11. Psychological warfare. Just like the idea of the Samson option. This shits a narrative.
I'd say date rape or low level assault would be much more pressing issues with more tabs hitting the streets and forced diversification and willing gentrification. But that doesn't get international air time. We hear about the guy that gets pulled over with a trunk full of guns. The idiot with a nail bomb. An Uproar over the state of society would be far more justified than these perpetual /heartbreaking/ events that get exploited online seemingly every other week. Remember the shit storm after m-83? You think if the next 300 people to read this post all went out and killed someone tonight we'd miss those 300 people anymore? Or would that not be a tragedy? Reality is manifested thought. If you think people are gonna die then it's your fault. Bud
>>19058578
Is friendo drinking piss?

>>19058378
Just marry the king.

>>19055666
Kyle is satan

>>19058656
Easy peasy lemon squeezy

>>19056917
>jews came from space
>space isnt real
wew

>>19057029
What were we doing before then?

>>19058460
>>19058481
You're fucking retarded

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>>19055480
>He thinks /r9k/ is not cursed

That everything in the universe, including you and me, is bits of God that are in the process of attempting to secede, or seek independence.

Basically, the big bang is a prison break that hasn't finished yet.

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>>19055553
>You're so SO full of shit it gave me a prolapse just reading you.

>>19056078
Explain the Wisconsin one?

>>19058596
This one isn't even a conspiracy

>>19056506
men in black was a documentary

>>19055566
>Japanese Giant Hornets and various other hardy and dangerous animals are deliberitly spread around the globe as a means of population control

yeah because if there's any place desperately in need of population control it's japan

>>19059394
The mummy with Tom Cruise is gonna be a documentary you just need the right antarctica juice

marilyn manson was created to take negative attention away from cher

>>19058946
>The epoch prior to the XI century should be envisioned as "primeval", the dawn of civilization. Primitive tools from those times have survived to this day and are exhibited in museums and galleries dedicated to early man, who allegedly lived many-many centuries and even millennia B.C.

http://chronologia.org/en/how_it_was/introduction.html

This theory has a lot craziness in it, but it sort of interesting if you take as a fictional work or a "what if".

That the LAPD framed an innocent babe-in-the-woods Orethal James Simpson for a particularly vicious and grisly double murder. That was a doozy.

>>19056852
It's not even a conspiracy theory at this point. Why was Comey fired for investigating Trump's connections to the Russians? Why did Trump personally meet with Russian real estate oligarchs connected to Putin like Aras Agalarov in 2013? In 2014 and 2015, in the runup to the 2016 election, during which he suddenly decided it was necessary to lift sanctions on Russia while Russia simultaneously focused on the DNC leaks in order to ensure Trump's victory. Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak outright admitted they were in contact with the Trump campaign, which Russian officials later denied. His son, Donald Trump Jr, has had over $100 million invested in family owned properties by Russians and personally dined with pro-Putin ex senator and central banker Alexander Torshin with his father in Moscow and during NRA meetings. His son-in-law Jared Kushner has met multiple times with Russian banker Sergey Gerkov as recently as December 2016 - and his company was one of the largest that was affected by anti-Russian sanctions, their fucking PM is on it's advisory board.

>>19055502
Please go on.

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>>19059777
>theory about people conspiring
>not a conspiracy theory

>>19060104
It's a conspiracy fact.

>>19060333
I was about to say "Go back to tumblr, whore," until I realized you got trips twice. Wtaf?

>>19055544
Well, it DID accidentally create at least one new universe. i remember that they said they had, by accident, accelerated a particle to the point to where it's collision gave off the exact heat and dynamics that the Big Bang was theorized to have had. It probably pushed itself out of our universe after that.

>>19056506
The new Ultraman manga, too. There was illegidly an Ultraman episode that explained that the reason why aliens are always coming to Earth is that the galactic community is using it basically as a prison planet/execution room ever since the Ultramen showed up.

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>>19055679
We'll know for sure this September if this is true.
>Mfw they name 9/11 this year peace and prosperity day

>>19055587
He did have a copy of the Quran written in his own blood so he could have the ultimate unholy relic.

Writing in blood is extremely sacrilegious in Islam and must be destroyed if seen. However, destroying a copy of the Quran is TURBO sacrilegious. So people were forced to endure the Blood Quran's existence.

>>19055553
>All marble columns, roman arches, etc. are evidence of Rome's domination
>Religion, culture, etc is interspersed with roman symbols and colours.
These two aren't really conspiracies so much as just historical fact, Rome had a massive impact on history.

>>19055679
>Pence Prime
Now that was some high quality XXX

>>19055679
If Trump is time-hopping constantly and is afraid of Islamoterror, why didn't he go back into the 50s and make sure that neither Russia nor America started sticking their dick into the Middle East? With literally unlimited time and a vast amount of Pence's at his disposal, it seems plausible to alter things further back in time to make sure the Radical Islamic Menace he fears never happened. Hell, technically, he could have arranged for the planes to miss the Twin Towers period by putting a disposable Pence on the flights and killing the terrorists before they hijack the plane; before they even board. What does a duplicate care if it dies in the service of saving his friend? Also, the Pences/Pence Prime don't seem to be bothered with changing the fabric of time, so the nuclear destruction of America changes NOTHING from the far future, the Pences come from the trump-corrected future and must know EXACTLY what needs to be changed, or time-travel somehow makes you hyper-aware

>>19058596
The only problem is that people absolutely loved New Coke; it was a success and always beat Pepsi in blind taste-tests. It's been estimated that only about 10% of the total consumer base made a stink about New Coke initially. The REAL reason why people started hating New Coke is because Coke Classic had made everyone low-level cocaine addicts. Coke was still putting a sizable amount of coca extract into Coca-Cola until the late 70s. People's bodies were missing the feeling of the coca and where all going into withdrawal.

That a Stargate opened up in Vietnam and large spiderlike human eating horror creatures came through. Then the USA send a defense force and successfully defeated the spiders. All GI that returned had their memory wiped to keep them sane.

>>19059686
OJ got the not-guilty verdict because the mostly black jury was taking revenge for the mostly white jury giving a not-guilty verdict to the LAPD in the Rodney King trail.

Some idiots think the country of Finland literally doesn't exist?

Pancrease Denile Theory
Antarctic Lost Civilisation beneath the ice.
Nephellim in Antarctic
Satan in Antarctica

Tolkein was real at some point or mythological creatures like centause used to roam the land.

Wizards are real.
___________________
Bush went to 7/11

>>19055464
Flat Earth, if not that retard shit most insane is that Youtube channel called Spirit Science. The guy seems to be a bipolar schizophrenic who goes on long spiritual rants. Right in the middle of him preaching to the plebs he claims I shit you not that Jews are actually time traveling shapeshifting martians.

>>19055480
>that a self aware supercomputer somewhere on the deep web is currently subverting all of mankind

lol oh shit I could see that happening.

>>19060752
No one really believes that one, that's just trolls.

>>19060784

why is it always the Jews? Like, what is everyone's fascination with Jews? I know a Jewish family really well and they're literally just an average American family.

>>19055589
>hate Trump
Go jerk yourself off somewhere else.

>>19060807
Because they never wanted to assimilate to European cultures, and would sometimes steal and sacrifice goy children. Nowadays many are extremely wealthy, but this is mostly due to high IQs and nepotism.

>>19060784
YouTubes a roller coaster ride through the valleys of dumb. Look up blood over intent and watch all the black messiah videos

>>19060784
kek never expected that even from that guy, got link where he says that?

>>19055589
>I hate Trump but
>I think dems killed Seth Rich

Sounds legit.

>>19059777
Shill-be-gone

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>>19060627
I fucking read about this somewhere and i cannot remember....

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>>19059777
This is the funniest thing about conspiracy theorists.

They'll come up with all sorts of loony shit about flat earth and 9-11 and chemtrails, but when anything actually shady really happens they pay no attention to it.

>>19061187
They know, but that's just in a real state shark job decription, you can't take down Trump by saying that he likes money and shady deals.

Just like the grab them by the pussy didn't worked either, you have to catch with an underage black girl, or something that goes against his own rethoric.

>>19055464
*Demons are currently or in possession a machine/process that gives them a synthetic human body. It essentially a body with out a soul. A soul needs a body. They can then replace people taken out by a secret group to further their agenda.

*Many demons/possessed people post on 4chan and lurk the internet as a whole.

*Trump's victory is the Tarot Trump Card the Tower played in real life.
>16 (XVI) Tower
>Trump Tower
>2016 election
>The tower is associated with sudden, disruptive, revelation, and potentially destructive change.

*Trump or someone in his cabinet being the leader of the final Beast system.

The bible never says the Antichrist will be loved by all this is a lie, it just says all will take his/it's mark in order to buy and sell. People love not the Truth and like it or not Trump's got plenty of untruth.

*Another name for the antichrist is the Assyrian. They were a white people some say the Germans are their Descendants.
>Drumpf

Even Trump's name has huge meaning.

I hope we aren't that close to the end.

But I wanted him to win because of these reasons, It's time for Christ's return desu famalam.

>>19061245
*Evil beings/spirits can enter dreams. They can give false revelations or false hope to people.
It's best to take dreams for what they are.

*Satan rules the world in the shadows, most Jews(Synogouge of Satan ones) don't worship him they worship Money/Mamon. Some high levels do know of magick and mysticism, speaking with familiars. (As they did in the days of old)

*The push for the degeneracy and the subliminals you see are a way of getting mankind to think constant evil thoughts. (Days of Noah) This everyone get along and peace stchik is a farce. (the Kingdom of Clay mixed with Iron)

* Music Festivals and certain drugs can lower a persons "spiritual" immune system and lead to possession. Hence why the CIA wanted to use psychedelics to mind control people. That's why more and more Music Fests keep popping up. All that shit is full of subliminals.

*Evil/Sin is not relative Jesus Christ/God has given us Holy Laws to follow and a way out.

* The left vs right meme. Both are controlled by the same entity. (The prince of the power of air.)
*Most news is half truths. The full story is never explained.

*Morgellons exist, but people aren't normally effected/infected by them. I'm not sure if they are synthetic or some type of parasite. I had some meat once with a very strange stringy bits that had these white strands that would wiggle now and then. That part of the meat was very different so I dont think Morgellons spread much after infecting a living animal?

>>19055526
nice try kenji

>>19057969

Read "Anatomy of the Female Power" by Chinweizu, that's exactly what he claims in his book, among other things.

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Irish Potato Famine denial

9/11 denial

Ice sky

Undecember

The sixth nucleotide

The Bible is actually only about 1200 years old

Holocaust killed 100% of the world's Jews, and modern Jews are imposters

The Anthro-Nuclear Paradox
Any timeline in which humanity creates nuclear weapons always ends with nuclear holocaust. However, the longer this DOESN'T happen, the weirder their timeline becomes because humanity isn't suppose to survive that long afterwards.

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>>19055464
NWO. Too bad it's real.

>>19057969
Also, women have traditionally been teachers, back when teacher was actually a respected profession rather than a parasitic union.

>>19061961
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDXrXBsTFSE

>Irish Potato Famine denial

I have a problem with the concept of gravity.
Even today it is just based on a theorie and even so it should be obviuos that it is somehow connected to the earth body because gravity is non existing in space, acording to nasa, it still seems that there was no conclusen drawn to that little fact or any other form of resurch.

It seems to me as if the gravitatial pull comes from the core, holding everything to the ground no matter where you are on a global earth concept. But how comes that this pull can be stronger than the actually spin of this global earth concept? As if it was perfectly spinning to its gravitatial pull.

>>19062051
What they call gravity is actually love.

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>>19062051
WTF did I just read?

>>19062069
its actually a seriouse question. Sorry for my bad english.

I guess it might be easier to make fun about my language and just make some shitty memes about this question.

I really wonder why anons on this board are so shitty?

>>19056405
>seabeds filled with organisms,

If you actually look up the size of oil reserves. And calculate how much organic matter you would need to fill them you would know how fake dinosaur juice is and how stupid you are for believing it.

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>>19062051
Huh

>>19062398
>implying those calculations haven't been done
>implying you're not the retard here

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>>19062086
I assure you I would not steer you wrong.
http://gnosticteachings.org/the-teachings-of-gnosis/introductory-information/168-gnostic-kabbalah-1-atziluth.html?tmpl=component&type=raw

>>19055822
First half is common knowledge.

>>19062492
Look it up and post it , you moron. Stop talking shit and show some facts.

I made the calculations. Its impossible to get so much organic matter to make the size of global oil reseves.

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>>19055679

>>19056358
>can't breathe in space
>can't breathe in water
what more evidence do you need

>>19055566
i posted there and on the same day hooked up with a girl and did hand stuff.. :^)

>>19055611
had me until marse

Aliens are actually demons. Alien abductions weren't fake, they were attacks from demonic entities. The elites are presentng the demons as aliens so as to prevent people from knowing that demons and therefor God exists

>>19055464
>Conspiracy Theory
>Theory

>>19058512
don't go it is cursed

>>19055494
?

>>19055464
Fluoride prevents cavities
Vaccines will create herd immunity
Hillary is innocent
Beyonce is talented

>>19055464
September 23rd.

No one actually knows what's gonna happen, but everyone believing in KEK thinks something is going down.

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I grew up in Malaysia and the media used to run stories that Pokemon was based in Jewish folklore. Jews used to collect gentiles in magical orbs and force them to fight each other for their amusement

Not even kidding.

>>19056070
>acoustic kitty

Ok, that's pretty badass.
They abandoned it with cats due to difficulty in training, but what about acoustic puppers?

>>19058983
This is the final redpill..

>>19060786
>>19055480

Have you read Gibson's The Sprawl Trilogy? Pretty much talks exactly about a secretive AI playing 4D chess with humans.

>>19055639
If the first one were true, how could it work? That would mean heads of state of every country that allegedly possesses nukes *knows* this. Which makes it pretty useless because it's no longer a deterrent at that point.

>>19062051
I do not think you understand what is meant when a scientist uses the word "theory"

>>19057055


Too cold for anyone to want to fight there.

>>19056262
>>19056282
if jet fuel could melt steel beams it would melt jet engines

>>19055480
I believe /pol/ is cursed tho, every time i go there something bad happens to me.

>>19064524
Like?

http://www.fluland.com/2017/05/03/han-deep-state-robert-ohashi/

>>19057055
Because learning life at Antarctica means not being a savage. A human there can't survive without technology. To have technology means you must be civilized because people will take from a savage to ensure the savage is not a threat.

Learning about Antarctican life is a means to peace...but I now think it is not an only, "simple" way.

>>19064583
Eternal Life technology?

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>>19058405
kys

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>>19055553
100% spot on.

>>19055589
>I hate Trump as much as any other sane person
>sane person
Do you ever flick on the news, buddy?

>>19063466
sep 23rd is the biggest one right now I gotta say

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>>19059777
cuz their russian spys.

I got one for you right here.

The Greenland Theory

A conspiracy about the fact the Roman Empire is still alive, and runs the entire world today. Greenland is secretly a spaceship that will transport the Roman Government to space when the sun inevitable swallows the earth.

https://sites.google.com/site/greenlandtheory/

>>>/r9k/

>>19064687
>>19064730
DELET

>>19064828
What exactly is /r9k/ board about? Never understood that.

>>19064730
I do wonder, what type of drugs did the author of that book used, when he thought all that up?

>>19064849
it's a board for a bunch of angry virgins to whine about their lack of success with women

>>19064849
/r9k/ used to be awesome. It was like /b/ but less "lol randumb xD" - there was a nice combo of feels threads that weren't all "She won't fuck meeeeee :'(" and amusing greentext stories, etc. Then Moot nuked the board around 2010 or so (my memory may be off regarding the year as I was in college at the time and was sort of too busy for this place). Then I think it was around 2012 when it was brought back and it became "Why won't these whores fuck me? I'm so nice and women shouldn't choose Chad just because he bathes and doesn't eat his body weight in chicken strips: The Board". I last checked the place about two years ago and I just remember that the first page looked like this:

>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE why can't I get laid?
>WOMEN ARE ALL WHORES
>fucking white people, why won't she fuck me? (seriously, there seems to be a lot of Indians on there now)
>"daily reminder that if you're X/if you're not X you should give up"

Complete Reddit-tier trash that deserves whatever they (don't) get from life mixed with hormonal 16 year olds who don't realize that they should go outside while they're still young enough for their fuck ups to be considered cute. Anything that questions the "REEEEE" attitude gets you labelled as 6'5" Chad Thundercock who just doesn't get "it".

The apocalypse as according to Marilyn Manson's Antichrist Superstar AKA XYZ.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3rOuswWbYU&index=11&list=PLFQ3lJuPJXrglk1ksITb-TC1tz3BjU7VT

The demos.

Oliver Chesler's 1999

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvU9qSca3l4

Otep Shamaya did some:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njzdyK6QZBA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eUZXTd9k3c

Carl Jung did magic:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Red_Book_(Jung)

Back to Otep Shamaya, listen to Wurd becomes flesh.

I believe in Alternate Reality Magic.

Ive seen a few holograms, experienced precognition

>>19055464
Million year old human skeletons
Bones of giants
Not zany but interesting nonetheless

>>19064941
On Antichrist superstar


"The time is come, it is quite clear [X Y Z] our antichrist is almost here"

From smells like children someone describes their medicine as "X Y C..."

In honour of the fallen angel Azbeja (alphabetica)

Neanderthals did 9/11

>>19055553
>The CIA is actually based in Switzerland

Where does this meme originate from? I keep seeing this more and more

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>>19056401
Nah, I think OP meant this

The world was supposed to end in 2012, but our reality's operating system changed from Windows to Linux, and this is why Febreze is spelled with 1 e.

>>19065120
It's not a meme it's a fact..

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>>19056805
Nah, man. It was Ian Carter and Maxwell Stanley.

>>19055464
The aliens acually are people and this is a simulation of a smart man to see if a man can be as smart as him but when someone tries to escape he pulls the trigger i think that i could escape this but my iq's 34 well i did outsmart a 150 so yeah so then i shal see can i escape i time or will i be another one of the dead
I know they are coming for me save yourselves forget the family they're too stupid to belive you.
There are more than you think trust no one
Never Trust Anyone

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>>19056222
You forget the romans had no year 0 and the birth of Jesus matching star charts and earthquake records is more likely 5-6AE.
Most likely this is the year 2010-2011 according to the Aztecs.

>>19064462
The same way that a group of guys with small dicks won't admit their dick is small even though they all know it.
First to cave is weakest.

>>19059777
>777
praise kek!

>>19064849
The actual point is that there's a software that prevents you from making any post that's too similar to/identical to any other post that's been posted on the board. This theoretically makes comments more lively and interesting over time, so it's like a more intelligent /b/ . However, it pretty much ended up as this guy says >>19064893

>>19055502
please

>>19065696
4cham got overrun by underage kids. That's the Problem.

I go on 4chan kik groups and its moslty teenagers. Then the little fucks are complety rotten in the Brain posting cp, scat and gore.

Hummanity is fucked

>>19056397
>OPRP

Moar on that please..

>>19055464
my solipsism was implanted in my brain by my jewish self.

I'm just letting you all know that I'm on to me. not that it matters

>>19065665
>L E D D I T
>E
>D
>D
>I
>T

>>19062495
What's up with the asura/wrathful bodhisattva head upon Buddha?

>>19055464
Transgender people aren't real

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>>19066474
The transgender movement is an attempt by the government to gaslight the public and make us question our own sanity.

>>19066494
>omg there are people different than me! It's destroying my sanity!

I guess some people are more fragile than others

>>19055540
Last theory is literally Gantz

>>19056078
What is John Maus Alien contact, I like his music but never hear of this.

>>19055544
checked
now go check if larry king is alive or not
the results may surprise you.

>>19055553
>The Tower of Babel is the same as the Swiss city of Basel (which is spelt as Baßel )
i hope no thinks this is true
ß is the greet way of writing Beta

>>19064635
who is this?

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>>19055679
>>19055540

>>19066625
Also it's not spelled Baßel as the pronunciation would be completely different. A "ß" functions as a sharp "ss" sound after a long vowel. But Basel has a soft sound, also the french version of the city's name is Bâle and the italian Basilea.

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>>19066625
Also, I assume you meant greek Beta. But it's actually based on old German Orthography and is supposed to show a "long S" accompanied by a "short S" / "short Z".
It used to be written "ſʒ" and was later shortened into one letter. Also the german word for "ß" is "Eszett", meaning S-Z spoken loudly. Sage for offtopic.

>>19056358
>Black people arent human
Wrong thread bud

>>19056036
>rouge soviet spies = communists who still want to start the global revolution.
>russia now = nationalistic state opposed to communist ideals

>>19056070
>Saturn is in fact a brown dwarf star
no, it's not.

>>19055502
OF COURSH

>>19055464
Egyptian pyramids where actually giant batteries

>>19055464
A guy I used to work with believed that Jesus never fied, he just moved to England to start a magic mushroom cult with King Arthur.

>>19067945
>>19065736
>>19056622
>>19059814

very well,

Humans are in fact highly derived predatory Whippomorpha and not primates, making our closest related living relatives whales and hippos

insects are in fact 4 dimentional creatures explaining their random jerky movements and why the look "off"

Aliens are in fact Demons, Angels or Fairies

the government allows fucked up genres of porn ,violent movies and videogames, horror films and sites like this fucking place to exist in order to dehumanize humans towards eachother and to aliens.

the US,German, British,Russian and Israeli government closely monitor /Sci/, /b/, /x/,/k/,/o/,/out/ and /pol/

modern cars are specifically designed to look and feel feminite and emasculating in order to emasculate males.

not everyone is real and some humans are in fact simulations within this simulation or a quantum shadow/quantum simulated human hence why some people look exactly the same, seem to "glitch out" or have no features what so ever

>>19067620
>black people aren't human
There's a difference between theory and fact. And we both know which this is.

>>19063470
this is gold

>>19055566
So i'm fucked up just for posting in r9k?
Fuck me running

>>19068009
Where did you get all this from? Are all aliens demons or angels, dosen't space aliens exist?

>>19068009
>the goverment are monitoring /pol/ and /x/

This explains everything! Thanks

>>19064546

The automated shill-paying service glitches out and doesn't give him $0.02 per post like it should.

File: 1495324870548.jpg (83KB, 550x413px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 550x413px

>>19055822

>>19063470
Can anyone prove or source this?

>>19065922
>I'm on to me


Made me chuckle, kike

>>19068695
Well they are aliens, but we're called aliens and demons because culturally that's all they had to make sense of these encounters in bibilical times

Ezekiel and the flying chariot

>>19063470
I need this one

>>19067880
He's close though, it is relatively close to being a brown dwarf in mass