Depersonalization help?

major depressive disorder

>>19036796
I'm not even depressed anymore, I can feel music intensely, but that's it, I can't feel reality properly

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/x/ - larping and mental illness

have you try shut up and stop

>>19036799
now you are just negating your OP symptoms. go out in the sun and breathe deeply and look and plants and fucking get off of x. music won't save you, trust me

>>19036789
As >>19036796 have said... you have Major Depresive Disorder.
I know because I have it as well

>>19036806
You read that wrong, I am not depressed, but I was, that gave me depersonalization from fear and anxiety.

Can't feel properly, can't get excited, can only feel music intensely. Can't feel reality. Can't feel people properly, or the scenery.

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>>19036821
DERPRESSION

YOU GOT IT

>>19036821
alright alright, listen more to your own body and mind and needs. your body will generally tell itself what it craves and needs for life. the more you tune into your own biology, the less you will feel detached from it

>>19036821

.

you are deep underwater.

you are lost in trackless woods.

you are spoken to, but words make no sound in this place.

you came out here to find something. perhaps it can be found:

then seize it

perhaps you began an impossible quest:

then gather whats left and build a new person, who seeks something else.

walk either of these paths, and you will become visible again.
.meht ruoved dna ,krad eht otni srelevart rehto nokceb ro

>>19036859
dude don't glamorize mental illness

>>19036789
It's not necessarily MDD, it could be migraines too. Look into silent migraines, I had these as a kid and eventually they evolved into normal migraines. If you feel fine the rest of the time with no other symptoms it might be that. There are other causes for depersonalisation than just MDD.

>>19036896
>>19036820 here
I can tell you it isn't Migraines as I had those as a kid(painful ones)

>>19036901
Silent migraines don't occur with pain, that's the major difference. Essentially it's a prolonged aura without an actual headache.

>>19036905
young grasshopper, you shall too, grow out of your emo bullshit phase, as does all

>>19036859

advanced

>>19036873

yeah. whoops. forgot that theres a very reputable industry that makes a lot of money off of making up and treating scary brain problems.

weird how it usually boils down to "take this hypnosis drug and talk to a person who tells you everything is alright once a week," though...

>>19036915
What are you talking about? What gave you the impression that I'm an emo (besides posting here)?

>>19036918
less weird, more problematic. if we are supposedly a whole, as a species, as an organic planet, a togetherness we yet unknow, any unused and untested drugs will only wreak havoc on an ecosystem that willfully collapses every so thousand of years, and said drugs further provoke the planet's system of repair, which is of course destruction

>>19036918
My psychiatrist isn't like that... stereotype much?

OP I would strongly suggest arming yourself, but carry no weapon...
perhaps distract yourself with a nice hobby like boat-crafting or golfing

>>19036924
wah wah this and wah wah that

>>19036933
Just because I mentioned that silent migraines are similar to standard migraines without the headache phase?

>>19036929

well my mind is pretty open right now. please tell me about your experience and how you feel i am incorrect

>>19036935
NO! your absolute and obvious complaints of deadness is a sure sign of depression

>>19036936
First of all, she likes to openly talk, not dissect my feelings. I talk about what I did that week, she talks about what she did, we pretty open our feels to the other. It's more like a friend than a psychiatrist.(she also knows that I'm got a Chronic Depression so it's worthless to keep trying to cure it)
She also plays vidya with me sometimes.
All this being free. You gotta love universal healthcare.

>>19036789
I use saint johns wort to take the edge off my depression and function most of the time, try it maybe?

>>19036939
I think you might have me confused with someone else mate.

>>19036928

we speak of only one discipline. all the arts of man combined cannot seem to pull the collective conscious in any one direction..

but perhaps this is a dark age, perhaps many have been misled and the collective weight of our negativity will collapse in on itself.

i'll say something literal. we breathe oxygen created by cyanobacteria that propagated themselves into oblivion and drowned.

hopefully we will leave a gift as precious as oxygen. hopefully it can be cast in bronze.

>>19036931

OR STONEWORK?

>>19036955
it is as dark as our screens are bright. there is a natural world a blink of an eye away, that perhaps needs a human eye for it to flourish, stalks twisting in the sun, real air, with no gaze, it will rot. roots, stem, flower, all.

>>19036952
i am upset that OP won't grow major balls, i am unwilling to read through posts, all i know is you replied to me first

>>19036968
Unless you're OP, you replied to me.

>>19036964

hah. thanks. some of the negativity is mine.

>>19036943

do you like speaking openly? are you speaking openly here, on an anonymous imageboard?

>>19036973
ohhhh grody, i am not op

>>19036977
all of us are negative, duality has gashed a hole into our whole system

>>19036977
Irl I hate to speak my thoughts aloud.
Here I do it when is a subject that is relevant to me.

>>19036896
Its depersonalization u idiot.

I got fucked up over sexual coercion and blackmail and thought everything was evil.

Now I'm not depressed or feel sick or scared all the time but I can't enjoy or desire things or feel joy

>>19036992
I know that feel...
I lived something similar anon.
But I see it all as midnight blue.
Remember, you aren't alone.
t. Depressed anon

>>19036992
Did I ever say it wasn't depersonalization? The only thing I said is that there are other causes of depersonalization besides MDD.

>>19036996
I don't feel alone, but I need to be fixed fast. Im impotent and need to perform.

And I need to get fast creative motivation so I can finish learning a language, or 3d modeling, or learning java.

Also need to get back into making music and animations and making crochet presents and story ideas.

But I can't get motivated.
I can't relax, I can't enjoy

>>19037006
Oh no wait, I'm fucking retarded. I read that you only get depersonalization for a few days, when what you said is that you only feel normal for a few days. Never mind OP, go to a psychiatrist or some shit, it probably is Major Depressive Disorder.

>>19037009

hi. i'm the anon who told you that you're lost in a forest. did you read my post?

anyway the problem is pretty clearly that you don't know why you need to learn a language, or autocad or whatever the fuck.

its because you lost something when you got hurt. find it or put something where it should be.

>>19037009
I like to use my bike to travel to some nice places(like sea cliffs and such) and then I draw them in my notebook. I'm bad af, but it does work.
I'm also trying to learn Basque, just because it's a strange language.

>>19037015
I know why I want to learn languages and crochet and make video games and animations and music.

But I can't even get exited about anything and I'm impotent

>>19036989

what is your first language, anon?

the subject is now "you." i want you to consider that as a subject relevant to you.

>>19037022
Spanish is my first language, that's why I write so many typos.

>>19037013
This
For real op see a doc its not as much as you think it would be they'll even help you with finances if you ask

>>19037021

still here?

why, then?

>>19037109
I DONT KNOW, THE TRAUMA AND FEARS OVER SO I SHOULD BE BACK TO NORMAL AND SHOULD BE ABLE TO LIKE THINGS

Ffffff

>>19038808
Dude I told you already.
See a therapist, please.
t. >>19036820

>>19038822
THEY JUST WANNA MAKE ME WORSE WITH ANTI DEPRESSANTS.

BEFORE I WAS ON LURASIDONE AND SEREQUEL

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>>19036789
Depression. Now go get help.

>>19038870
Dude, Antidepressants work... somehow.
Also find a fucking hobby, I use my bike and paint landscapes(even if I'm fucking terrible doing it).
Also fucking vent as you obviously need it. Idk... break a chair, scream until your voice's raw, stuff like that.

>>19038901
Screw u medijews they don't work

>>19038924
Fuck off dude, we kicked the jews out of Spain in 1942.
I'm honestly trying to help you.
But you don't want help, don't you?

Maybe you have a major dopamine or testosterone deficiency. Go get some blood work done.

>>19038934
>1492*

>>19037122

actually, i meant "what is your reason for wanting to do those things."

i will recap, because you didn't understand what i told you.

you lost something

you have to find it,

or you have to bind yourself to something else.

here is something i didn't tell you,

you will need to perform a ritual. you are in the forest, now seek a vision.

a shaman who does not find himself here will be an empty vessel forever. antipsychotic drugs won't help with that.

you didn't know you were a seeker until now. go. ignore me at your own peril.

>>19038950
I don't wanna be no stupid shaman and I'm sick of visions, most of them don't happen anyway.

I just wanna do creative stuff cuz I like the feelings I got from others reacting 2 it but I don't carenings anymires

>>19038970
Then how the fuck do you expect us to help you if every solution we give you isn't valid?
Really... I don't get it.

>>19038970

>I like the feelings I got from others reacting 2 it

you know some magic, then! good!

it sounds like someone burnt you, last time you used it, though.

ahem

dont think of yourself as a shaman, then. nowadays, in our fragmented society, this journey generally happens unaided by cultural touchstones. there are many names for what i'm telling you.

the ulfhednar went into the woods to learn the shape of the wolf.

the nez perce went to find their weyekin, a guardian spirit.

WHAT YOU ARE MISSING

IS A REASON.

>>19039024
I dont think he should really be taught how to be a berserker.
It is hard to control and he might hurt others and after the trance, himself.

>>19039042

berserkergang is just a kind of spiritual freedom.

its the cultural context and the specific rites undertaken by the initiates that turned that flight of mind to violent ends.

i think op should undertake a journey of personal meaning.

depersonalisation is a response to having one's anchors be ripped from the seabed. ride the storm, and find a new harbor

>>19039102
Someone tricked me so hard with sexual coercion and blackmail and emotional abuse that I felt like everything was tricking me and that everyone hated me, and after that I felt no emotions and then i thought I was god and that nothing matted which made it worse.
I feel a tiny bit of almost emotions but I can't enjoy anything.
Only a limited amount of music.

And what's a berserker and why'd it dangerous?

>>19039278
how old are you even?
You must be 18 to post here.

>>19039327
23 but diagnosed with autism so I convey things weird

>>19039340

>autism

the squid girl op picture should have tipped me off.

well, i guess you're on your own then. keep moving. bye.

>>19039810
;_;

>>19039895
protip, get away from the computer

interact with real people, get another hobby. do things which are real accomplishments
the virtual stuff will always keep you disconnected, your brain knows they don't matter so it had no emotional investment

yeah it'll be hard because you're not used to it but fake it till you make it and you can at least feel like a normal, functioning human